What do we do when someone says hurtful things to us? This subject of words having power is not a new idea but so often we forget the fact that our words have power. Words can cripple us or help us soar and accomplish great things. Consequently, when someone says something hurtful it creates an offense in our hearts, but remember that words reveal the condition of a person’s heart. Therefore, the person saying the hurtful words is probably hurting from the offenses they have stored in their hearts and memory. Hence, I would like to use this time and space to explain the power of forgiveness and to encourage you to be quick to forgive. I know this sounds impossible to do at times, but it will set you free from the negative energy of hurtful words and of offenses in your heart. Unfortunately, we don’t often realize that we have taken offense until hurtful or negative words start to spill out of our mouths. It happens to the best of us. Sometimes though, you need to set boundaries for people who continue to spew hurtful words, even when you have spoken to them about how it makes you feel. Yet, you do not need to let their words control your thinking, beliefs, and feelings, which is hard to do, but possible when you are quick to forgive.
I had a situation where my wonderful husband gave me an anniversary card that I took offense to. He did not intend to offend me, but when I explained why I was offended he quickly apologized and tried to make it right. Unfortunately, I allowed the offense to get into my heart and I became miserable. I’m sure no one else has done that. When I had enough of feeling sorry for myself, I remembered that I needed to forgive the offense, even though it was not intentional. I then prayed and asked God to take that memory and negative energy of the offense from my mind and heart. I felt so much better. So often relationships are ruined by hurtful words and holding on to offenses. I realized that the quicker I was to forgive, the more love, peace, and joy I would experience, and the more love, peace, and joy others would experience when they were in my presence.
When a person becomes offended it is often because he or she is focused on themselves and their perceived and unperceived unmet needs or expectations. When we become offended we open the door to be tempted to be angry, bitter, depressed, and to slander, gossip, etc. For instance, someone does something to you or says something about you that was unloving, your first response is to think; that wasn’t right; I didn’t like that. Therefore, when we take an offense and stew about it, we become inwardly focused to the point of becoming angry or fearful, etc., and when this happens then we become controlled by the offense. Can you see this in your life?
The anniversary card situation caused me to ask myself, why did that card really offend me? I knew from my research that it had triggered an offense that I had stored somewhere in my memory that I was not aware of. The next day I went into my prayer closet and asked God to show me. He showed me that I was still offended by a hurt from my first marriage, which the card reminded me of. I forgave my ex-husband for the hurtful words he had spoken to me and I asked God to loose and remove that memory and all negative energies from my mind and heart associated with that memory. I used the information found in “Kindness Issues” on my website to work through and release the offenses I was feeling. I also applied the right thinking and truths in the Joy and Peace Issues to remove the feelings of hurt and anguish from my heart and mind. After going through this process of healing these heart issues I felt so much more peace and joy. To learn more, please visit my site. Thank you for taking the time to read this blog, I hope you found this helpful.
The above statements are passages from my book called “Unseen Battles for Your Mind,” which is in the editing stage, and therefore, is not to be recopied without my permission.