Open discussion on how to eliminate strife and negative feelings.

Please let me know your thoughts on how you end strife in your relationships.  It can be sibling relationships, marriage relationships, co-worker relationships, etc.  And let me know what you think causes conflicts.

In myself, I realize that when I become offended by something said or done, or not said or done, that I will have negative thinking towards the person or persons.  I will then show my negative feelings to that person or persons, which then causes them to react with a negative attitude back.  How can this negative reaction be stopped before it turns into an ugly fight and more hurt feelings?

During my childhood, there was constant strife and ugly fights. These fights left terrible memories and hurt feelings towards those involved.  I often reacted with anger when my children fought.  I realize I become angry because of the negative energy I have from the fighting in my childhood.  Now my oldest child is feeling offended towards me and wants nothing to do with me.  I know that forgiveness is a key element for restoring peace but my oldest child does not want to forgive me. How do you restore peace in your relationships when someone is offended and does not want to forgive?