In this chapter, you will learn what mental strongholds are, the many types, how they control your behaviors, and how to become free. But first, if you haven’t read chapters 1 and 2 yet, please read them. Chapter One explains the spiritual and neuroscientific facts of why specific prayers work to free us from wrong thinking, unhealthy beliefs, and mental strongholds. The first chapter also describes how to be spiritually healed, which is necessary for all other healing. (1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories). Chapter Two explains what a healed heart looks like and the factors that hinder healing. (2–Removing Blocks to Healing).
What are mental strongholds?
A stronghold describes a fortification that protects. A ruler builds a fortress to protect his or her interests and authority to rule. Most castles have multiple protective barriers. Now imagine having similar mental strongholds in your mind that safeguard wrong perceptions. Our painful memories create wrong views that rule our lives from a “seat of authority,” like a throne that a ruler sits on, giving them authority to control how you behave.
Mental strongholds contain programming for our emotional reactions and decisions. Painful memories include the scripts that control how we reacted in different situations. For instance, memories of anxiety, insecurity, shame, impatience, and betrayal, to name a few, controlled my emotions. When I faced a challenging situation, I could not control how I reacted.
External events trigger our memories that then trigger our reactions. We react with the same emotion of that memory. For example, when I smell a cigar, it triggers a memory of my grandfather. Had my grandfather molested me, which he didn’t. That trauma memory will flood my mind with negative emotions, evoking an adverse reaction not suited to the event. My irrational reaction would signal a negative heart issue that needs healing.
Moreover, God created us to love and be loved, so when we don’t feel valued, our feelings are hurt, and we become offended. Being offended by unloving actions and words create painful memories and strongholds. Furthermore, the offenses, hurt feelings, and resentments keep us from loving well in return, and we will offend others. People who hurt others are hurting themselves.
How to destroy mental strongholds
With God’s help, I discovered how to break free from the many oppressive strongholds in my life and to recognize unhealthy beliefs and their connection to painful memories. You can identify unhealthy beliefs and strongholds by being mindful of your adverse reactions, thinking, and words. To better understand my unique background, read my brief transformational story here.
The following Bible passage gives us hope to effectively dismantle the mental strongholds and unhealthy beliefs in our lives so that we can love from a pure heart. 2Corinthians 10:3-5 (NAS) states, “For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. 4) For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds [fortresses]. 5) We destroy arguments [imaginations; speculation; Greek meaning is logical thinking] and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ.”
When you destroy a mental stronghold, you demolish it and put an end to it through prayer. But first, you need to identify the false beliefs they protect and transform them using the “loosing and binding principle.” Unhealthy beliefs can be arguments, imaginations, speculations, and opinions. Speculating is theorizing or making assumptions without knowing the truth. An opinion is a belief not based on absolute certainty or positive knowledge but on what seems true or probable to one’s own mind.
2 Corinthians 10:3-5 describes a war or battle with thoughts that do not conform to God’s truth found in the Bible. These wrong thoughts then create unhealthy, toxic beliefs (i.e., speculation, imagination, or arguments) that are often protected by mental strongholds. According to 2 Peter 1:3, we are given God’s divine power to take every thought captive. Taking something captive describes a holding or securing. But before we can take our thoughts captive, we first have to be aware of them, which is called mindfulness. Also, listen to your words because they reveal your beliefs and, ultimately, what is in your heart. Luke 6:45 states, “The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” With this understanding, we also need to replace all toxic beliefs (based on lies) with the right ideas (based on truth).
The Two Keys to Healing Negative Issues
I want to briefly go over what I explained in chapter two. The two keys to healing our hearts’ negative issues are forgiving and using the “binding and loosing principle.” The binding and loosing principle successfully eliminates negative heart issues that keep us from being transformed and completely healed. Matthew 16:19b and 18:18 (NAS) states, “…whatever you bind [Greek meaning: knit, tie, fasten] on earth will be bound in heaven; and whatever you loose [Greek meaning: release, destroy, put off] on earth will be loosed in heaven.” If you don’t understand why forgiving is a key to healing, please read WHY MUST I FORGIVE.
I also discovered that I need to loose the negative stress-energy of the painful memories and replace the memory with a positive image, or see Jesus comforting me in the memory. Otherwise, resentment and negative emotions of the painful memories reestablish the unhealthy belief(s) and stronghold(s). Below is a biblical example using the loosing and binding principle to loose/put off your old self and bind/put on the new self. You can turn this scripture into a personal prayer by personalizing the pronouns.
Colossians 3:8-16 (NAS), “But now you [I] also, put them all aside [loose]: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive speech from your (my) mouth. 9) Do not lie to one another, since you [I] laid aside the old self with its evil practices, 10) and have put on the new self who is being renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created him- 12) So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, [I] put on [bind on] a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience; 13) bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you [me], so also should you [I]. 14) Beyond all these things, [I] put on [bind on] LOVE, which is the perfect bond of unity. 15) Let the peace of Christ rule in your [my] hearts, to which indeed you were [I was] called in one body; and be thankful. 16) Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you [me], with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God.” Emphasis added by the author. Also, see Eph. 4:22-32
Protection of Stronghold Pairs
God showed me that strongholds often come in pairs. So, when I tore down one stronghold, the other stronghold continued to protect the authority seat controlling my destructive behavior. As long as one stronghold remains, we cannot change our negative thoughts and reactions. God showed me this truth when I continually struggled with the same negative heart issue of being controlling.
Since discovering double fortified strongholds, I then began to ask the Holy Spirit to reveal both strongholds. I quietly waited for the Holy Spirit flow to reveal the answer (Chapter Two describes the Holy Spirit flow). Sometimes it took several days. The answer may be shown in a dream, maybe it’s a word, and sometimes it’s a feeling or vision. One time when I was waiting for an answer, I heard it on the radio. Healing is not a quick process, but one that is well worth the effort. Note, to hear from God through the Holy Spirit, we need to be humble and submit to Him (see James 4:4-8) and free from sin (see Isaiah 59:2; Psalm 66:18; and 1 John 1:9).
I drew the following illustration to help the inmates visualize strongholds in their minds.
The very first stronghold combination God showed me was the pride, judgment, and anger combination. The outer stronghold was pride that protected the inner stronghold of judgmentalism, which protected the authority seat (throne) of anger that ruled my behavior. I was delighted when God showed me this because my anger issues prevented me from being a loving person. The stronghold of pride and judgementalism may take a long time to tear down depending on how many painful memories you have and how much hurt is in your heart. I have had to dismantle this stronghold combination many times. Don’t give up. Destroying mental strongholds is worth it to experience love, peace, and joy. Our goal should be to love others well from a pure heart that is not controlled by strongholds, painful memories, false beliefs, and self-centered thoughts.
Uncovering and Transform Unhealthy Beliefs that Maintain Your Strongholds
The first step to changing your unhealthy beliefs and transforming painful memories is going through the nine Spirit Characteristic worksheets to resolve the negative issues in your life. These nine core prayer focuses are the fruit of the Spirit characteristics from Galatians 5:22-23. Each prayer focus has a list of wrong behaviors, unhealthy beliefs and lies, positive right behaviors, and truth statements. These nine focuses transform the lies we believe with the truth and our wrong (sinful) actions with the right behaviors.
Unhealthy beliefs need to be replaced with healthy, true beliefs so the strongholds that protect them can be torn down; otherwise, the false beliefs will rebuild the strongholds. Likewise, the painful memories that created the unhealthy views must be put to rest through forgiveness; otherwise, the painful memory will recreate the unhealthy belief. Next, the negative emotion associated with the painful memory must be loosed and put off from our hearts so we can love from a pure heart.
The Apostle Paul said we are to transform our lives by renewing our minds with God’s Word (Romans 12:2). And in Philippians in 2:12b-13, he said, “Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.” Yes, our salvation is by grace and not by works, and it is the gift of God, yet there is much work to be done to transform our minds (wrong thinking and unhealthy beliefs) and submit our wills to the will of God.
Once we believe and receive the free gift of salvation by faith, now we must get into the Word of God and transform our false beliefs with the truth. But Satan wants us to remain defeated, so he uses mental strongholds to keep our offenses and wrong assumptions protected. Strongholds also prevent the fruit of the Spirit from growing in our lives. They even stop love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness (humility), faithfulness (trust), and self-control from flowing out of us to others.
First, work through each of the following worksheets to remove the occupants of your mental strongholds.
LOVE ISSUES: uncover the unloving acts that create offenses in your heart, which impairs your ability to love others well.
JOY ISSUES: expose the memories that cause you to feel sad, hopeless, worthless and prevents you from enjoying life.
PEACE ISSUES: discover the memories that cause you to worry, be nervous and fearful, or quarrel because you feel discounted.
PATIENCE ISSUES: reveals memories that cause you to be frustrated, angry, or upset when someone did not meet your expectations, or you suffered an unfair or unjust action.
KINDNESS ISSUES: helps you uncover memories of when you experienced rejection, abandonment, hurt, criticisms, etc.
GOODNESS ISSUES: will find the memories of guilt, destructive actions, not being valued, etc.
TRUST and FAITHFULNESS ISSUES: will lead you to find memories of suspicion, jealousy, betrayal, and defensiveness. Have you let people down by not keeping your promises, or has someone not honored their commitment to you?
GENTLENESS/HUMILITY ISSUES: will expose the memories of when you felt inferior or superior, disrespected and judged, or treated rudely and without mercy.
SELF-CONTROL ISSUES: reveals memories of being discontent, feeling helpless at times, overreacting, and sometimes manipulating.
PRAYER FORMAT TO DESTROY STRONGHOLDS
The following specific prayer model can be used to destroy stronghold combinations and false, unhealthy beliefs that God shows you. Before beginning these steps, ask God to loose and remove pride and any deceptive spirits because they keep you from humbling yourself and hearing from Him. Repent of sins that block prayers.
I also include “In Jesus’ name” to my prayers because John 14:14 says, “If you ask anything in my name, I will do it.” Also, see John 15:7. But, what we ask needs to be God’s will and align with His truth as we obey Him (1 John 5:14-15; 1 John 3:22-24; and John 15:7). We know it is God’s will to heal our hearts and sanctify our lives with the truth (John 17:17).
- List the past or present negative issue(s) to be healed that the Holy Spirit shows you.
- Recall the earliest or strongest memory of a time when you felt the same emotion(s) for each of the negative behaviors in the fruit characteristic worksheets. It may be a memory of a general period (i.e., birth, toddler years, elementary, teenager, etc.) or situation (i.e., death, sickness, divorce, etc.) in your life instead of one specific incident or actual event. Identify what was important about the time-period or ongoing situation. List all the beliefs and any new feelings associated with that memory.
For each negative heart issue, ask the Holy Spirit to reveal the following:
- Related painful memory (past or present of your sin or another person’s unloving behavior. Don’t dwell on the memory and relive it. Be quick to forgive to remove the power of the memory.)
- Unhealthy beliefs.
- Word curses or vows associated with the issue.
- A sinful reaction to the painful event that caused pain in someone else’s heart.
- Family history. If you see the same pattern or negative issue(s), assume the issue that needs healing is generational.
- Examine your unhealthy beliefs and ask God to reveal if a stronghold is protecting them. Ask Him to show a possible second stronghold. Please use the double stronghold issues I have identified on this page as an example. However, your memories, offenses, and unhealthy beliefs may differ from those I have identified. The presenting heart issue controlling your reactions is often the “authority seat.”
- After identifying all the above aspects of the heart issue needing healing, pray the following prayer guide or something similar. As you pray, breathe deeply to remain focused on the Holy Spirit’s transformation. Breathing deeply also releases emotional stress. This prayer is not a formula but a guide. Fill in the blanks ___ with the specific facts the Holy Spirit shows you. Writing out this prayer model helps you focus on the Holy Spirit flow, which will reveal other false/unhealthy beliefs or memories related to the issue.
Dear Lord, thank You for helping me by Your grace and power to overcome the negative heart issue of ___. I forgive _(person’s name)_ for _(offense)_ and I loose/put off the resentment and the power the offense has over me, in Jesus’ name. Forgive me, Lord, for _(sinful response to issue)_ and remove my guilt, in Jesus’ name. By the authority of Jesus Christ, I loose and remove the attached oppressive spirits and negative emotions of ____, in Jesus’ name.
Lord, by Your power, I loose the related wrong thinking and unhealthy belief(s) of ____, in Jesus’ name. I bind in the truths of _(found in the fruit of the Spirit characteristic worksheets)_. I loose/put off the protecting stronghold of ____ from my mind.
Next, (if there is a second stronghold) I loose/put off the second stronghold of _(stronghold name)_ from my mind. I loose/put off the wrong thinking and unhealthy belief(s) of _(revealed unhealthy beliefs)_ protected by the second stronghold, in Jesus’ name. I bind in the truths of _(found in the fruit of the Spirit characteristics worksheets)_.
Now, I loose/put off the authority seat of _(seat name)_ and painful issues of _(list hurt/offenses)_ that controlled my behavior and decisions, in Jesus’ name.
Loose and destroy every spirit attachment, generational sin, and DNA marker that have influenced my issues of _____, in Jesus’ name.
Replace the painful memory with something you can be thankful for. Maybe for what God did to protect, rescue, provide for, or comfort you.
- Go through each of the nine fruit of the Spirit characteristic prayer focus worksheets. Identify additional issues that also may be contributing to the negative heart issue. Otherwise, they will rebuild the strongholds, wrong thinking, and unhealthy beliefs.
Overcoming Mental Strongholds and Unhealthy Beliefs
When you read the stronghold combinations and associated unhealthy beliefs, you may recognize the same issues in your life or the life of your children. The false beliefs that God showed me may not be your beliefs. So, ask the Holy Spirit to show you the corrupt perspective specific to you, then pray along the same lines as I described above.
Each of us has a different perspective and response to the traumatic events in our lives, even when we experience the same event. The stronghold combinations I identify may not be the same for you either. So you will need to seek God to show you the strongholds protecting your unhealthy beliefs and traumatic memories. The negative issue controlling your life is usually the “authority seat” within the stronghold.
Suppose you see the same stronghold pattern in your children’s lives. In that case, you have the spiritual authority to lead them through the deliverance prayer guideline to help them be free from the negative issues in their hearts.
Freedom from Humiliation and
Strongholds of Shame and Sadness
After I wrote in my journal about my birth and my mother’s mental state, I had a dream that night that was very perplexing. The dream was words being spoken to me that said “shame and humiliation in a box” repeatedly until I woke up. I began to pray and ask God what the meaning was. I did not receive an answer until that evening. God revealed that the shame and humiliation my mother was experiencing became a part of my sister and me when we were being formed in her womb (the box). So, I looked up the words shame and humiliation in the dictionary, which gave me greater insight.
Shame is a painful feeling of guilt, incompetence, indecency, or blameworthiness. If shame for what you have done causes you to feel dishonor and disgrace, you may need to forgive yourself for the sinful things you have done. Shame could also be put on you by other people’s unloving actions, for which you need to forgive them. God showed me that shame was a stronghold protecting feelings of humiliation.
Humiliation occurs in the following situations:
- You or someone else degraded your dignity.
- Your honor is taken away.
- Someone makes you feel foolish or contemptible. Feeling contemptible happens when you are scorned and made to feel worthless.
- Someone disdains you publically.
- You are despised and looked down on.
- You are disgraced by a loss of favor and respect.
Being humiliated creates pride that covers up our feelings of humiliation. Then we offend others in the same way we were offended.
As I continued to journal my life, I could see that shame and humiliation were curses in my life. I wanted to be valued and accepted, and I realized that this was one reason I was so angry and destructive, which brought more shame and humiliation into my life. God showed me that shame was the inner stronghold that protected the authority seat of humiliation, which held all my painful memories of being and feeling humiliated. Since I knew that strongholds came in pairs, I asked the Holy Spirit to show me what the second stronghold was. The next day, I had a heavy sense of sadness, and I could see the sadness in the things that I wrote in my journal. I knew that sadness was the outer stronghold that had kept me from feeling joy. The sadness stronghold protected the painful memories of shame and guilt and kept them from being healed.
Sadness is sorrow about the loss of love, honor, respect, innocence, and not being accepted. It is a feeling of dejection, which is a low spirit of depression and discouragement. Depression is brooding on one’s problems. Another aspect of sadness is despair, which is the loss of courage, confidence, and hope. A year later, God revealed that I was addicted to the feeling of sadness. I found this out because my mind would compulsively conjure up vain imaginations of things that would make me sad, like death or a loss of some kind.
The many painful memories of shame and humiliation reinforced the mental stronghold of sadness. When I prayed the following prayer to destroy this stronghold combination, I felt a greater sense of confidence and joy. I no longer had a cloud of sadness swirling in my mind.
MY DELIVERANCE PRAYER
Dear Lord, thank you for helping me by Your grace and power to overcome the negative heart issues of despair from shame, humiliation, and sadness. By the authority of Jesus Christ, I loose/put off the resentment and embarrassment created by the painful memories of struggling academically. I forgive Mr. S for making me feel stupid and shaming me in front of the class for not understanding algebra. I forgive Miss N. for shaming and humiliating me when I made mistakes in English. I also forgive them for not encouraging or believing in me. On the other hand, I thank You for Mr. D, who supported me and helped me succeed. Thank You, Lord, for increasing my intellectual ability so that I could succeed in college.
I loose/put off the painful memory of living in poverty and being dishonored, disgraced, and devalued by my peers, teachers, and family. (I loosed specific memories as God showed me and forgave those who humiliated me.) I forgive my peers for making fun of how I dressed and being on welfare assistance, in Jesus’ name. Thank You, Lord, for those who did care and show compassion, especially the Driver’s Ed. Teacher Mr. J. Thank you for providing for all my needs. I loose/put off all oppressive spirits associated with these painful memories, in Jesus’ name.
I confess that I was angry and gave in to the temptation to be destructive. Forgive me, Lord, for getting angry and damaging people with my words and actions. I loose/put off _(identified painful memories)_, resentment, and oppressive spirits associated with these painful memories. Forgive me for discounting myself and not seeking You for help. Forgive me for humiliating others. I forgive myself for shaming, dishonoring, and disgracing my family members by my hurtful actions from the hurt in my heart. Lord, take the guilt of these sins from me, in Jesus’ name. Thank you for healing me entirely of these wounds and hurts in my heart as I forgive so that I can love others from a pure heart.
By the power of God, I first loose/put off the outer stronghold of sadness and the associated unhealthy beliefs that I am melancholy and will always be depressed and sad. And that I will forever be dishonored, discounted, and devalued. I bind in/put on the truths that I have the joy of the Lord and can rejoice always, and that I am worthy of honor, and I am valuable. Next, I loose despairing thoughts, and I bind in the positive feelings that I am confident and have hope, in Jesus’ name.
Second, I loose/put off the inner stronghold of shame. I loose/put off the false, unhealthy belief that I am not worthy of being respected. And that I am not forgivable for what I have done, in Jesus’ name. I bind in the truths that I can forgive myself because God has forgiven me, and I am worthy of respect.
Third, I loose/put off the authority seat of humiliation and the painful memories of feeling foolish, shameful, scorned, devalued, dishonored, and despised. (I named the memories of hurt/offenses/wrong thoughts that controlled my improper behavior of angry outbursts and decisions to dishonor others.) Next, I loose and destroy all associated negative emotions and oppressive spirit attachments, in Jesus’ name.
By God’s power, I loose and destroy generational sins and DNA markers of humiliation and sadness that have influenced my negative heart issue of despair, in Jesus’ name. I bind in/put on the following truths: I am worthy of being loved, honored, valued, and respected; that I can do all things with God’s help; I have the mind of Christ; I can honor and value others through Christ. (List other related truths found in the fruit of the Spirit issues worksheets or other biblical truths.) I also thank You, Lord, that “goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life,” Psalms 23:6.
Thank you, Lord, for healing me and setting me free from this painful issue of feeling sad and unworthy of honor and love. I bind/put on to my heart the right beliefs that I am worthy of being respected, loved, and have the favor of God in my life.
I thanked God for the truth of Psalms 103:4-5, which states, “who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.” I also thank Him that “goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life” Psalms 23:6.
Freedom from Impatience and
Strongholds of Injustice and Unfairness
Because of the abuse I suffered, I developed mental strongholds of injustice and unfairness that protected the authority seat of impatience. Impatience ruled my behavior, which explained why I was an over-reactor and always frustrated when things did not go as I planned.
The impatience authority seat held the following unhealthy beliefs and lies: trials or difficulties are wrongful actions against me and I need to fight them and the people involved. I had the negative emotion of frustration and anger when I didn’t get what I needed, wanted, or expected. I distrusted authority figures; therefore, I couldn’t readily submit to them, which included God.
I often asked God why I over-reacted all the time. He showed me that the painful memories and resentments on the impatience authority seat controlled my reactions when I perceived something was unfair or unjust. God also showed me that the unfairness and injustice stronghold combination was generational. I forgave the people who were over-reactive towards me and who were not being patient and kind. I forgave myself for being over-reactive and not being patient and kind.
Next, I prayed through the steps to destroy strongholds described above. Then, I bound in the following truths: I can submit to God and trust Him to give me what I truly need in His perfect timing (see Psalm 37:5; James 4:7a; James 1:17). And the truth that I don’t need to understand but acknowledge Him, and trust He will give me direction (see Proverbs 3:5-6). I can be humble, gentle, and patient; showing tolerance for others in love (see Ephesians 4:2). And that with patience and faith I will see the promises of God found in His Word (see Hebrews 6:12). I felt a burden lifted off me, and I could breathe easier.
This healing also uncovered the need to heal issues of frustration, which was also generational. Again, by God’s power, I loosed the negative stress-energy from the memory of my mother being frustrated with me, and I forgave her. I also had to forgive myself for being frustrated with my children and husband. Then I loosed all the unhealthy beliefs, such as “things have to go as I want them to go” and “people should do what I expect them to do.” I also loosed the negative stress-energy I created in my children and husband from my outbursts of frustration. Next, I loosed and put off the DNA generation marker and internal programming for frustration. Then, I bound in the positive attributes found in the “Patience Issues” worksheet.
To test your victory over frustration, go for a drive on a busy roadway. If you are a mother, your children will try your patience level every day. Each time you feel frustrated, ask yourself, “What expectation is not being met?” Acknowledge you are disappointed with that person or object that is not cooperating. For example, I got super frustrated when something broke or did not work, and I was trying to accomplish a task. So, when the computer or lawnmower stops working, or the car breaks down, I am disappointed, but I have a choice to make. I can get upset and throw a fit and get stressed out and stress everyone else out, or I can use my frustration energy to solve the problem instead.
My negative heart issue was out-of-control reactions to unmet expectations. I reacted according to my emotional programming from my childhood. I had to work through this stronghold combination for about a year to transform all the trauma memories and unhealthy beliefs. Now, when I am disappointed because something or someone didn’t do what I wanted, I don’t over-react anymore. I’m not perfect yet, but reprogramming my mind with God’s truth changed the over-reaction programming in my mind. Now I pray first instead of getting angry or anxious.
Read my post called What is Wrong with Fairness?
EXAMPLE PRAYER: Dear Lord, I forgive my mother for being frustrated, over-reactive, and not patient and kind when I needed her to be. I forgive her parents for being over-reactive to my mother and not modeling love through patience and kindness. I confess and forgive myself for being frustrated and over-reacting in the same way to my husband and children and not loving them by being patient and kind. Forgive me for reacting in anger toward my mother, sisters, husband, and children, and then in self-pity and despair toward myself. Remove all my guilt in Jesus’ name.
Lord, show me the unknown/subconscious strongholds, unhealthy beliefs, wrong thinking, oppressive spirit attachments, destructive cellular memories related to mine, and my mother’s over-reactive nature and self-pity.
I loose and remove resentment, disappointment, and oppressive spirits for every time my mother did not respond to me with love. I loose the false belief that my mother did not love me or care about me. And I loose the negative energy of resentment I put in my husband and children when I responded with frustration and over-reacted, along with every attached oppressive spirit, in Jesus’ name.
Thank You, Lord, for healing me and restoring love and patience to my heart toward my mother, sisters, husband, and children. I put on/bind to my mind and heart the truth that I can be self-controlled in my emotions and reactions. I can love my mother, sisters, husband, and children by being patient and kind as God is patient and kind to me, in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Freedom from Insecurity and
Strongholds of Control and Betrayal
Because of the strongholds of unfair treatment and unjust actions, I developed the stronghold combination of control, betrayal, and insecurity. Everyone has insecurity because we live and work with sinful, hurting people we are trying to please. The painful memories of betrayal by those we trusted develop insecurities. Insecurities come from unhealthy, toxic beliefs and lies that perpetuate anxiety about what others do or don’t do or think and say about us. For instance, I trusted that my parents, spouse, and friends would love me, not hurt or lie to me, but they did. I became emotionally disconnected because I felt that I could not trust anyone. Note, you should not trust some people, and that is okay. Dictionary.com defines betrayal as – to be unfaithful in guarding, maintaining, or fulfilling; be disloyal. I also found myself betraying those I should have loved and protected.
Our negative reactions of anxiety or anger triggered by criticism, dishonor, or disrespect reveal our insecurities. For example, if someone found fault with me or something I did, I would have an anxiety attack. I felt they didn’t like me and that I will never be good enough. And when I suggested doing something or going somewhere and was ignored or discounted, I became resentful and felt sorry for myself. You know your insecurities by the unhealthy beliefs triggered by something someone says to you or does to you. Insecure beliefs could be: “I’m a loser and a failure.” “I’ll never be able to accomplish anything.” “I’m not good enough.” “I’ll never be accepted because __.” “I’ll never be able to accomplish anything because __.” “Something is wrong with me?” These messages automatically play from the programming of your painful memories of traumatic events in your life. They can also be word-curses spoken over you by someone else.
For several years, I struggled with the control stronghold, even though I continually tore it down. I asked God why I kept dealing with a control issue. He showed me an outer mental stronghold of betrayal that protected my need for control. The betrayal stronghold was built and held in place by the negative memories of unfaithfulness by those who should have protected and loved me.
The stronghold of control protected the insecurity authority seat, which prevented my insecurities from being revealed. So I thought. Because of my insecurities, I found myself emotionally disconnected from people, so I would not be hurt. I also wanted to control people, what they did, and what they thought of me. I tried to manipulate circumstances to prevent being betrayed, hurt, disappointed, or even annoyed. And if things did not go my way, I responded with frustration and anger, thus revealing my insecurity.
Sexual betrayal also builds the betrayal/control strongholds
Remember, strongholds protect us from being hurt again. The betrayal of one’s sexuality is the greatest injustice, and it wounds the soul the deepest. In his book Healing of Memories, Dr. Seamands wrote that he believes no secrets are more carefully guarded or deeply buried in the soul’s dark cellars than sexual secrets. Sexual secrets are suppressed by the stronghold of shame. When a child does tell an adult, especially a parent, they should be believed. Dr. Semands said that there is nothing more humiliating to children than not to be believed. It is one of the greatest hurts they can endure. In their eyes, it’s sheer injustice. They are desperately telling the truth, but the people they want to be most truthful with are accusing them of telling lies. (Seamands, David, (1985), Healing of Memories. SP Publications Victory Books, Wheaton, IL)
We betray ourselves and the other person when we give in to pre-marital sexual acts or adultery. God created the marriage bed to be a sacred act of love between two committed people (see Heb. 13:4). So when we defile the law of love, we feel violated, dirty, and worthless when we degrade it with sensual lust. Because sexuality is an intimate, vulnerable part of humanity, any interference (i.e., exposure to pornography, sexual acts (even in a movie), fondling, uncomfortable affection, making a child take on a spouse’s role, etc.) damages the very core of our being. The destruction of our soul is why Satan perverts what God creates as good. Satan wants to destroy our self-worth and ability to trust, especially to not trust God.
Betrayal also destroys our ability to trust Jesus, who came to earth to heal, restore, and regenerate us. To receive restoration, we need to forgive the person or people that Satan used to violate us. Maybe you need to forgive yourself if you gave in to Satan’s lies that sex is a means for feeling love outside of marriage. Or maybe you need to forgive yourself for engaging in pornography and your fleshly lust. Come to Jesus with your damaged sexuality and allow Him to restore your purity and respect. Purity restoration is a supernatural act of healing that is received by faith through the redemption of forgiveness.
How to destroy the betrayal/control stronghold combination.
The first step of healing, and most important, is to forgive. I went through the nine Spirit characteristic worksheets on this website and asked God to uncover betrayal memories. I wrote out the stronghold deliverance prayer for each remembrance. Next, I bound to my heart the virtues and truths in the worksheets. I now understand that everyone wants to be loved, accepted, and honored as much as I do. And, disconnecting from people is not loving them as God loves them.
Because of the trust issues from the betrayal, I prayed and loosed off the following unhealthy beliefs:
- I am awful and I have done awful things;
- I cannot trust anyone, they all want to hurt and reject me; and
- I trust in my abilities and in what I do to meet my need for significance.
I also had the wrong behavior of pulling other people down with my words. Once I loosed these wrong beliefs and the wrong behaviors, I bound into my heart and mind the following truths to reprogram my thinking:
- I can stay in forgiveness because forgiveness heals me and frees me from the control of painful memories;
- It is safe to trust God and do what is good (Ps. 37:3-5);
- I can be trusted, and I am faithful with what God has given me (Luke 16:10);
- I can trust and believe that my life has a purpose and that God has a good plan for my life, which give me hope (Jer. 29:11-14);
- I build trust by acting with integrity and keeping my promises; and it is better to trust in God than to trust in a man. (Ps. 118:6-9).
Freedom from Anxiety and Strongholds of Worry and Fear
Worry Stronghold—protected my right to fear and the wrong belief that something terrible will happen, and I can’t control it.
Fear Stronghold—protected anxious thoughts of bad things happening and the Anxiety Seat.
Anxiety Seat—hold memories of not feeling safe, etc.
I developed anxiety when I didn’t feel safe from abuse and betrayal. Worry and fear are major strongholds that keep many people in bondage to anxiety. Trials and hard times (or watching the news) reveal this combination. Life’s problems should strengthen our faith in God, perseverance, and perfect our character (Rom. 5:3-5; James 1:2-4; 1 Peter 1:6-9). But more often than not, life’s difficulties foster fear and worry.
I tore down this stronghold combination during a tremendous trial at my job. I was full of anxiety about the deceptions and retaliation surrounding my layoff. The tension created a host of digestive problems that were healed when I dismantled this stronghold combination. I could see how these strongholds affected all aspects of my life.
The worry stronghold kept me from trusting that God works all things out for my good (see Romans 8:28–29). I would dwell on the problem and try to solve the problem myself if I could. This stronghold protected the fear stronghold which encouraged self-protective behavior and the compulsion to control circumstances. If I couldn’t control the details, then I would become anxious, fearing something terrible will happen that I can’t control.
The anxious thoughts on the seat of authority caused me to feel nervous, hopeless, despaired, discouraged, and unhappy. I mentally or physically put myself in homes and places where I did not feel safe or accepted. Then I forgave and loosed the unhealthy beliefs and spirit attachments to the bad memories created in those places. Then I imagined myself safe in the arms of my Heavenly Father who loved me, and I imagined God as my place of refuge and safety.
I transformed this stronghold combination by praying the prayer format to destroy strongholds explained above. After writing out the stronghold deliverance prayer, I bound in/put on HOPE and TRUST in God that He wants to give me hope and a prosperous future (see Jeremiah 29:11). Also, that He will deliver me from all my troubles (see Psalm 34:17-19). I often quoted Psalms 91 and Is. 41:10-13 from memory to reinforce my faith. Pray the truths in the following prayer focuses on the “Trust Issues,” “Joy Issues,” and “Peace Issues” worksheets found on this website over your troubling circumstances.
Read my testimony of how I became free from anxiety disorder. Why, What, and How to Submit to God and be FREE
Freedom from Disappointment and
Strongholds of Apathy and Rejection
The betrayal and control issues created many disappointments in my life. When you are disappointed, you become unhappy because of unmet expectations and hopes. Disappointments feed our insecurities and lower our self-worth and sense of significance. I became disappointed when someone did not meet my needs and desires.
For example, when I was in middle school, I did not get a gymnastic team position. I felt devastated and very disappointed, which strengthened the rejection stronghold. To be truthful, I was not a good gymnast and did not deserve a spot on the team. But because of my damaged self-worth, I could not see this. From that experience, I developed the insecurity and unhealthy beliefs that I could never be good enough and was unwanted, so I quit the team. Can anyone relate? These insecurities translated into many other areas in my life. As you can see, disappointments also affect our self-worth and feelings of significance.
Disappointments caused me to feel rejected, and I became apathetic. Apathy is not caring about other people because you think no one else cares about you. This unhealthy belief led to a lot of pathetic self-pity and feeling sorry for myself, leading to self-destructive behavior. Self-pity is the idolatry of yourself. This victim mentality is a bondage that keeps us in the pit of despair because we only think about our unmet desires. Unfortunately, this also is a contributing factor in people who commit suicide or walk away from God. Because of my abusive childhood, I did not remember feeling loved or safe. When someone said they loved me, I felt indifferent because of the apathy stronghold. Though I knew God’s love was in me, I could not love well or feel love.
The inner mental stronghold of apathy protected the negative heart issue of disappointment. The apathy stronghold was fortified by the outer mental stronghold of rejection, which reinforced harmful, toxic beliefs similar to the following. “I will always be rejected, no matter what I do.” “I should reject first to protect myself.” “I can’t risk getting close to anyone.” The disappointment “authority seat” was controlled by the painful memories of feeling rejected.
Tearing down the rejection/apathy strongholds
I first asked the Holy Spirit to show me why I did not feel love. I then asked Him to reveal the memories of being disappointed. He also exposed that I was disappointed with Him for not answering my prayers as I expected. Are you disappointed with God for not answering your prayers as you desired? Ask Him to bring up your repressed disappointment memories. Pray through the steps for destroying strongholds for each memory God shows you.
God also showed me a generational DNA marker of apathy from my paternal grandmother’s side, so I loosed and removed that and the attached spirits. Then I loosed the unhealthy belief that I did not care and that others did not care about me. I also loosed the unhealthy belief that others should meet my expectations for me to be okay.
After writing out the stronghold deliverance prayer for each disappointment memory, I then bound to my heart the truth statements for each of the nine Spirit characteristics worksheets. I focused on 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 and prayed those love virtues into my heart and mind. I then turned all my needs and expectations over to God to meet in his perfect timing. I now choose to meet others’ needs and desires without expecting anything in return and giving preference and honor to others without fearing rejection.
Freedom from Insignificance and
Strongholds of Rejection and Approval
Because of my insecurities and disappointments, I had a damaged self-worth, which was revealed by what I thought about myself. We all desire to feel significant, to be accepted and approved; therefore, we fear rejection. The most painful emotions we store are feelings of not being loved, valued, and accepted. For more details, read Breaking Childhood Rejection and Insignificance Strongholds.
The outer mental stronghold of rejection protected the following unhealthy beliefs: “I need to be successful to have significance, so I will reject anyone who gets in my way.” “I don’t want to be rejected and will do anything to avoid it.” “I feel worthless when people dismiss me.” “There must be something wrong with me.” This stronghold protected the inner acceptance/approval stronghold, which protected the following unhealthy beliefs. “I’m okay when people like me.” “I need to work hard and do good things for people to accept and approve of me.” Seeking people’s acceptance is also idolatry.
The acceptance/approval mental stronghold protected the insignificance authority seat, which held the following wrong beliefs. “My self-worth and significance are in what I do, who I know, and how much I have.” “I need to feel important to have self-worth, so I need to be in control to feel important.” Furthermore, the insecurity and insignificance stronghold combinations keep us from sharing our faith in Jesus because we fear rejection or disapproval.
With God’s help, I repented of idolatry and looked to God for my significance and worth. After writing out the stronghold deliverance prayer for each memory, I choose to focus on what God thought about me. Pray the prayer focuses on the “Joy,” “Patience,” and “Kindness” worksheets.
I am no longer in bondage to the fear of rejection or what people think of me. I learned that the negative opinions that people have about me do not represent the truth but reflect their damaged emotions and insecurities. I also knew that I’m disappointed and discouraged when I try to get my self-worth from other people or in what I do. So, I need to keep my mind on Jesus and what He thinks of me, which is only accomplished by turning every thought into a prayer.
God showed me that I was in a rejection cycle that was generational and controlled by a spirit of rejection. I prayed and loosed the generational rejection cycle and rejection spirit from my sisters and me.
Freedom from Anger and
Strongholds of Pride and Judgment
This mental stronghold combination is the next most prevalent stronghold combination next to worry, fear, and anxiety. While working through the previous mental stronghold combinations, you are hopefully liberated from many of your anger issues. Also, my feelings of insignificance from rejection and humiliation contributed to the development of intense pride, and I became very judgmental. Being judgmental then attracted the adverse reaction of being judged in return. People’s sins against me created many of my anger issues, and I stored them in my memory as offenses.
The pride stronghold protects many unhealthy beliefs such as; “I am better than you.” “Don’t tell me I am wrong.” And, “don’t tell me what to do but do what I want.” This outer stronghold protects the inner judgmental stronghold, which protects the unhealthy beliefs; “I have the right to determine if you are right, wrong, or insincere.” “I have the right to be angry, bitter, resentful, and hateful.” And, “I don’t trust you or value you.” The judgemental mental stronghold protects the anger seat of authority, which holds all our offenses from disappointments, unmet needs and desires, soul wounds from betrayals, etc.
Understand that God hates pride (see Prov. 8:13; James 4:6), and anger does not achieve the righteousness of God; only peace and humility produce righteousness (see James 1:20; 3:18). Read the nine Spirit characteristic worksheets on this website to work through all the areas that cause you to feel pain when you think of them. Then pray through the steps to destroy strongholds. You may have to repeat this process several times before anger no longer controls your thoughts and behavior.
Freedom from Escapism and
Strongholds of Loneliness and Discontentment
Every living person has felt lonely at one time in their lives. Some people feel lonely all the time. My experience and observation are that loneliness comes from a love deficit, both in receiving love and giving love. Still, more than that, it is a lack of felt love. A person raised in a dysfunctional or abusive home that lacked affection is left feeling empty, alone, and unwanted, which results in dysfunctional marriages and families. Loneliness and depression exist when we don’t experience genuine love. When we don’t have a sense of belonging or don’t fit in, and it can lead to addictions to escape the pain.
When we are not genuinely loved, we feel lonely and discontent because we are created by God to be loved and to love. Many married couples are very lonely and feel disconnected because they cannot meet each other’s love needs. My first marriage was like this. My first husband and I reacted out of our emotional pain from past disappointment when we were not valued. Therefore, we became offended and offensive with each other, which compounded our pain and loneliness. We could not genuinely love well because of the absence of felt love, that left wounds in our souls. So, the marriage ended in divorce, which further damages the souls of our children. The damage to our children’s souls will carry into their marriages. The solution is forgiveness and healing the emotional pain from the painful memories of feeling unloved and disappointed.
The loneliness stronghold keeps us in bondage to unhappiness and depression by protecting the discontentment stronghold. According to Miriam Webster, discontentment is to be dissatisfied and to have a restless desire for something more or different. However, we should make sure that we do not have unrealistic expectations, which is also a source of discontentment. For example, it is unrealistic to own a BMW when you can only afford a Buick. Also, being judgemental about things outside your control causes discontentment. For instance, you want a thin, fit spouse, which is perhaps outside your control. Or, you want the government to do what you think is best. Being content is being satisfied with what you have with no desire for something more or different. Thankfulness is a powerful action that changes a person’s perspective in any situation, including discontentment. To understand why gratitude creates peace and joy, read my post called A POWERFUL MOOD CHANGER.
The strongholds of loneliness and discontentment protect the escapism authority seat. This authority seat causes us to want to escape from our loneliness and dissatisfaction through many different methods. Some of the means of escape are: drinking alcohol, using drugs, watching TV and sports events, spending hours on social media, working long hours, playing video games, excessive daydreaming, etc.
The loneliness stronghold protected the following unhealthy beliefs that I verbally loosed and put off from my mind, which were: First, “I am alone because I am unlovable.” I replaced this unhealthy belief by verbally binding in the truth that I am lovable and that God loves me and is always with me. The second unhealthy belief was, “I need to isolate myself because I don’t trust that I won’t get hurt or disappointed.”I bound in the truth that I can trust God and give my hurt to Him and forgive those who did not genuinely love. The third unhealthy belief was, “I am alone because I am different and unaccepted.” I changed this belief by verbally binding in the truth that being different is okay because God has given me unique qualities and insight, and I am acceptable to Him.
The discontentment stronghold protected the following unhealthy beliefs. “I need more because what I have is not enough.” I replaced this belief by verbally binding in the truth that God will give me all that I need, and I can be content and thankful for what I already have. The second unhealthy belief was, “I need to have something different to be happy (e.g., life, car, house, furniture, spouse, job, etc.).” Discontentment has many facets, but the remedy is thankfulness and trusting God to provide the things we need.
Next, evaluate what is controlling your escaping choices. I noticed that I needed to be busy all the time, so I did not feel my loneliness or discontentment. I also daydream a lot to escape the mundaneness and boredom of life. Most times, my thoughts were unproductive, vain, and empty musing. I verbally loosed these escaping mechanisms and bound in the truth that I can be thankful for everything, pray without ceasing, and rejoice always. The escape mechanisms you have may be different; verbally loose them, and then bind in what God shows you to overcome your escaping tendency. If you know you have an addiction, please continue reading to learn how to break your addictions.
After praying to destroy this stronghold combination, I had terrible cramping in my hands, feet, and legs for several days. Then I remembered I had forgotten to pray and loose and put off the oppressive spirits attached to unhealthy beliefs. Once I did this, the cramping immediately stopped. I also brought in the light, life, and love of God to fill me and to restore me, and to heal me. I then bound the truths found in the “Love,” “Joy,” and “Kindness” issues worksheets.
Freedom from Guilt
After I became free from the Escapism Stronghold combination, God showed me that I did not love myself. In fact, I hated myself. I asked God to show me why. A few days later, I attended a Bible study. The facilitator taught that the High Priests in Leviticus made one sacrifice for sins and another for guilt. God spoke to my heart and said, I could not love myself because of my guilt. The next morning, I looked up all the verses about guilt. Here are a few: Leviticus 4:3 states that our sins bring guilt on us. Jeremiah 3:13 states, “Only acknowledge your guilt, that you rebelled against the LORD your God…and you have not obeyed my voice, declares the Lord.” Jeremiah 33:8 states, “I will cleanse them from all the guilt of their sin against Me, and I will forgive all the guilt of their sin and rebellion against me.” 1John 1:9 states, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness (including guilt).”
I went to God and asked Him to show me more about my guilt. I found guilt listed under the Goodness Issues worksheet. I also found destructiveness listed under Goodness Issues, and the source of my guilt became clear to me. Because I grew up in an angry and destructive home, I was programmed to be destructive with my words and actions through my anger, impatience, unkindness, and pride. As a child, I did not feel valued, so I treated others the same way. I realized I had never repented of these sins, and I had guilt for all the times my anger caused destruction, and I hated myself for that. I prayed through the prayer in the Goodness Issues worksheet for every painful memory of destruction in my life.
I loosed/put off the wrong belief that I was a terrible person. Then bound to my heart and mind the positive attributes and truth statements listed in the Goodness Issues worksheet. I also bound in the positive virtues that I can and will use my words to contribute to others’ good and that what I say and do will benefit those I meet. Secondly, I will be kind, generous, and sympathetic and treat others as having worth. Thirdly, I value others as God values them and values me, and I will value myself and love myself. After I prayed this, I was felt so delighted and felt a huge weight lifted off my chest. Now I can love God with all my heart, mind, and soul, for how could I love when I had the sin of self-hatred in my heart.
Freedom From the Addiction Stronghold and Harmful Actions
In The Healing Codes Manual, Drs. Loyd and Johnson said, “Harmful actions or desires are behaviors we continue to repeat even though they take us farther away from what we really want in life.” “Our memory pictures guide us toward certain behaviors and make it difficult to begin new behaviors.” “Anything done out of an unhealthy fear or as a substitute for love is either self-protection or self-gratification.” “Self-gratification involves doing something that feels good in order to relieve stress or numb emotional pain.” “Self-protection involves doing something to distract yourself from emotional pain or to control your circumstances to keep pain from happening again. Common methods of self-protection include: staying alone, extreme shyness, reading, studying, staying busy, work-a-holism, trying to be perfect, trying to project a certain image to others out of fear (wearing a mask), painstaking attempts to control your circumstances to guard against further painful circumstances recurring, etc.”
- “Harmful desires of the five senses. Behaviors in this category include: eating, drinking, taking drugs, unhealthy sexual desires and behaviors, excessively watching television or movies, reading, listening to music, etc.”
- “Harmful desires for stuff. These are desires to acquire possessions to make us feel better about ourselves.”
- “Harmful prideful desires. These are desires to portray a certain image to others and what people think about us. (i.e., excessive attention to appearance, trying to win awards and achieve things for the wrong reasons, using relationships for status-building purposes, doing things you don’t believe in for ulterior motives, etc.)”
(The Healing Codes Manual, p. 48)
The addiction stronghold combination: the outer pleasure stronghold protects the unhealthy beliefs of “I like _(bad habit or compulsion)_ too much to quit.” “I am not hurting anyone.” “You only live once, so you might as well enjoy it.” This stronghold fortifies the inner addiction stronghold, which protects the unhealthy beliefs of “It is hopeless.” “I am hopeless.” “I can never break this bad habit.” “I have no control, and I can’t stop the compulsion to ____.” “I don’t have a problem, and I can quit at any time.” This stronghold maintains the Authority Seat of Controlling Desires, which holds the memory pictures of sinful fleshly desires (lusts) that control your actions. Also, consider how addictions help us escape from our painful memories. So, healing these painful memories through forgiveness and transforming destructive beliefs will free us from our addictions and harmful habits.
The allurement that maintains the habit is the deceit of pleasure, in which you gain some pleasure from the practice that controls you. For example, I had a destructive addiction to sugar. I had intense pleasure eating cakes, cookies, pies, donuts, candy, ice cream, etc., that I could not control. But because of sugars inflammatory nature, I had a host of physical problems. The pleasure of consuming sugary products was so brief compared to the long-suffering of physical pain. The fleeting pleasure of “whatever controls you” also causes other kinds of long-suffering, especially guilt and shame. Similarly, the consequences of our destructive habits far outweigh the pleasure of the feel-good sensation. So, you have to ask yourself, “Is it worth it?”
If you have any harmful habits or unhealthy beliefs listed in this section or that God showed you, then pray the following prayer format. Breathing deeply to stay mindful of the leading of the Holy Spirit:
Dear Lord, I ask that You break and loose the stronghold of the deceit of pleasure, protecting the destructive habit of _(issue)_ from being conquered. By Your power, I loose/put off the unhealthy beliefs: “It is hopeless.” “I am hopeless.” “I’ll never break this destructive habit.” _(Other unhealthy beliefs)_. I break and put off the image and memory of the pleasure triggers of the destructive habit of ____ from my mind and body. Next, I break and loose the addiction stronghold protecting the fleshly desires for _(specific issue(s))_ from being conquered. I loose/put off the unhealthy beliefs: “I need to have it.” “I have no control, and I can’t stop the compulsion.” “I don’t have a problem, and I can quit any time I want.” ”I’m not hurting anyone.” _(Other unhealthy beliefs)_. Next, I loose/put off from my mind the fleshly desire for _(issue)_ that controls my behavior and decisions in Jesus’ name. Forgive me for ___. I put on/bind to my mind and heart the following truths:
TRUTH FOCUS STATEMENTS
- I am a beautiful work of God, and I am valuable, and I will value myself. Eph. 2:10; Ps. 139:14
- Jesus helps me to overcome temptations to give in to destructive habits. Heb. 2:18; 4:15,16
- God’s love is the only thing that truly satisfies. Eph. 3:17-19
- I have hope in God, who strengthens me and gives me hope, which is my anchor. Ps. 62:5-8; 42:5; Heb. 6:19
- I put my hope in God’s unfailing love. Ps. 147:11, Lamentations 3:21-25
- I can be honest with others and not be afraid because God is with me and strengthens me and helps me. Ps. 27:1; Is. 41:10; Heb. 13:6
- I release control of everything around me and find encouragement and hope in the Word of God. Rom 15:4
- I can move beyond the things that numb my pain to find lasting satisfaction in love and life through Jesus. Rom. 8:15
- I can focus on being close to God and not my pain. Ps. 71:4-5, Ps. 91
- I can loose and put off fear and self-protective behaviors, and I bind/put on power, love, and a sound mind/discipline. 2 Tim. 1:7
Freedom from Disrespect and
Strongholds of Failure and Unworthiness
Do you find you’re disrespectful when others fail to meet your expectations? Has someone been disrespectful to you? Do you feel unworthy of respect, or are you treating others as unworthy of honor? If you answer “yes” to any of these questions, you may have a failure and contempt stronghold combination that protects the disrespect authority seat. The Webster’s dictionary says that contempt means scorn or despising and treating with disdain something or someone you feel is worthless or vile.
Every harmful behavior has a source, and we must not make excuses but ask God, “Why am I behaving this way?” “What is the root or source behind my behavior?” For instance, if my husband did not meet my expectations, I felt disdain and demeaned him. God showed me that contempt is not godly behavior because He wants us to value others and honor them. Being disrespectful is not loving and is a sin. So, I asked God to show me the root of why I was irritated with my husband’s inconsideration of me. He revealed that I still had painful memories of not being valued as a child or by my first husband. I also had disdain for my first husband because of his abusiveness. The memories of my mother’s disrespect and contempt for my father also influenced me. So, I developed unhealthy beliefs that caused my sinful behavior of disrespect.
I’m sure you can think of times when you failed and how others may have treated you with contempt. Failure was the outer mental stronghold that reinforced the inner stronghold of contempt. Both mental strongholds protected the authority seat of disrespect, which held the memories of the offenses of disdain, dishonor, and rude behaviors. I also realized that disrespect was a generational sin because I observed the same responses in other family members. Several months later, I struggled with anxiety and a sense of failure again. I asked God why, and He showed me there was a curse of failure put on my family. I loosed the curse, and now I feel confident and secure.
The following are some of the unhealthy beliefs I had. “I do not feel worthy of respect, and no one else is worthy of my respect.” “I am inferior and deserve to be treated with contempt.” “I have contempt for people I disagree with.” “I feel I have no value, and what I have to say and want is not valued.” “Men are not worthy of respect because they fail to meet expectations.” There are many other unhealthy beliefs associated with these two strongholds. There are many different beliefs related to these two strongholds so ask God to reveal your wrong thinking. I replaced these unhealthy beliefs with the truths found on the page called MEEKNESS/HUMILITY ISSUES. Can you see the connection now between failure, feeling unworthy, and disrespect for yourself and others?
The following are three more stronghold combinations that I have seen in other people. The unhealthy beliefs listed are only examples. If you see any of these strongholds in your life, ask God to show you the specific beliefs you have and the associated memories and offenses. Then use the prayer format listed above to be set free.
DOUBT STRONGHOLD COMBINATION: The outer Rebellion Stronghold protects: “I don’t feel that God is real in my life; therefore, I can’t trust Him.” “I want things to be my way and what feels good to me.” “I want to have fun and not be burdened by obeying God.” Protects the inner Independence Stronghold that protects: “It is up to me to meet my needs.” “I don’t trust God to meet my needs.” “God doesn’t answer my prayers; therefore, I have to take care of myself.” Protects the Authority Seat of Doubts, which maintains lies from the demonic world that cause you to doubt God.
DECEPTION STRONGHOLD COMBINATION: The outer Protection Stronghold protects: “Lying protects my interests, reputation, future, etc.” “It is the only way to get ahead in life, etc.” Fortifies the inner Manipulation Stronghold that protects: “Lying influences people to think differently.” “I can’t risk people knowing the truth; otherwise, they will not like me.” Protects the Authority Seat of Deception, which contains the memories of story spinning, total lies, little “white” lies, etc.
OPPRESSION STRONGHOLD COMBINATION: The outer Irresponsibility Stronghold protects: “I am incapable of taking care of myself.” “It does not matter what I do or eat; I will be sick because of my genetic weakness.” “Cancer, diabetes, heart disease, arthritis all run in my family, and I have no control.” Fortifies the inner Infirmity Stronghold that protects: “I am a weak and frail person, and I can expect to be sick all the time.” “I need people to feel sorry for me and pity me to feel loved.” Protects the Authority Seat of Oppression, which holds curses/oppressive spirits of sicknesses, weaknesses, illnesses, diseases, and distresses of all kinds.
But first, if you haven’t read Chapters One and Two yet, please read them now. Chapter One explains the spiritual and neuroscientific facts of why specific prayers work to free us from wrong thinking, unhealthy beliefs, and mental strongholds. The first chapter also describes how to be spiritually healed, which is necessary for all other healing. (1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories). Chapter Two explains what a healed heart looks like and the factors that hinder healing. (2–Removing Blocks to Healing).
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P.S.: Experiencing lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).