No one loves perfectly. So everyone needs healing for past and present love issues. Also, unloving acts create offenses in your heart, which impairs your ability to love others well. To learn more, read the following blogs:
Freedom from the Spirit of Jealousy
How to Dig up the Unforgiving Belief to Grow in Love
First, ask God to remove the spirit of pride and any deceptive spirits that would keep you from humbling yourself and hearing from Him. Confess and seek God’s forgiveness for known sins so your prayers are not blocked. All your prayers should include “In Jesus’ name” because John 14:14 says, “If you ask anything in my name, I will do it.”
For each negative behavior described below, ask the Holy Spirit to reveal the following things: (Write in your journal what He shows you. Be patient, you may have to wait until a picture or word comes to your mind.)
- Related painful memory
- past or present
- your sin or another person’s unloving behavior
- Unhealthy beliefs.
- Word curses or vows.
- Your sinful reactions to the painful event that may have hurt or offended someone.
- Family history. If you see the same pattern or negative issue(s), assume that the issue that needs healing is generational.
- Related painful memory
Recall the earliest or strongest memory of a time when you felt the same emotion(s) for each of the negative behaviors in the fruit focus. It may be a memory of a general time period (i.e. birth, toddler, elementary, teens, etc.) or situation (i.e. death, sickness, divorce, etc.) in your life instead of one specific incident or actual event. Identify what is important about the time period or ongoing situation. List all the beliefs and any new feelings associated with that memory.
If you are angry at God for what happened, confess it and ask Him to take your angry emotions and resentment from you. I was mad at God and He still loved me, and He still loves you.
Jealousy: being watchful or solicitous in guarding or keeping: as a man is jealous of his rights. Or jealous of someone else’s advantage.
Envy: feeling discontent and ill will because of another’s advantage, possessions, etc.; resentful dislike of another who has something desirable.
Rudeness: being dishonoring or discourteous.
Bragging: to boast; be arrogant: full of or due to unwarranted pride and self-importance; overbearing; haughty.
Self-seeking: insist on your own way.
Easily angered; quickly provoked and irritated.
Unforgiving: keeping a record of wrongs.
Resentful: the feeling of displeasure or indignation at some act, remark, person, etc., regarded as causing injury or insult.
Hateful: to have a strong dislike or ill will for, loathe, or despise.
Delight in evil: morally bad or wrong; wicked; depraved.
Abandonment and Betrayal
Put off unhealthy beliefs and lies God shows you. then bind in a healthy or true belief. For example, pray: Lord, I put off the unhealthy belief(s) from my mind and heart that___(i.e. I am unlovable, insignificant, and flawed.) Instead, I bind into my heart and mind that I am lovable, significant, and valued, in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Pray the example prayer below for each issue the Holy Spirit reveals. As you pray, breathe deeply to release emotional stress and remain focused on the Holy Spirit’s leading. This prayer is not a formula but a guide. Fill in the blanks with the specific facts the Holy Spirit shows you. Writing out this prayer model helps you focus on the Holy Spirit’s presence, which will reveal other false, unhealthy beliefs or memories for the issue being healed.
If the issue you are dealing with is an offense from another person’s sin or weakness then pray from your heart:
Dear Lord, I forgive _(person’s name)_ for _(offense)_. I release the related resentment and the power it has over me, in Jesus’ name. Forgive me. Lord, for _(sinful response to issue)_ and remove my guilt, in Jesus’ name.
Lord, thank You for helping me by Your grace and power to overcome the negative heart issue of ___. I ask that You remove all oppressive spirits and negative emotions attached to the memory of ____, in Jesus’ name. By Your power and authority, I put off every related wrong thinking and unhealthy belief(s) of ____, in Jesus’ name. I bind to my mind, heart, and soul the following truths (see truth section below):____.
Lord, I am thankful for how You _(protected, rescued, helped, provided for, guided, or comforted)_ me in this painful time in my life. (Take a moment and see God comforting and loving you in your memory.)
Lord, I ask You to remove all generational sins, curses, or dysfunctions related to the issue of ___. Break exposed soul ties, word curses, and vows of ___. Destroy all evil spirit attachments to _(negative issue)_. In Jesus’ name. Thank You for healing my soul and prospering me (3John 2). Amen
After you have prayed the prayer model, think about the issue again, and rate your discomfort from 0 to 10. If there isn’t an improvement, ask the Holy Spirit to show you other facets of the issue that needs healing. List all the beliefs and any other feelings associated with that memory.
1Corinthians 13:4-7 is the biblical standard for love. “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
Pray and put on the following attributes and truths to your mind and heart: LOVE IS…
Patient: With God’s help I can bear or endure pain, trouble, and unmet expectation without complaining, losing self-control, or making a disturbance. I can be forbearing and tolerant; refusing to be angered by others’ weaknesses.
Kind: I am sympathetic, friendly, gentle, tender-hearted, and generous to everyone.
Humble: I am not boastful, and I have a modest opinion or estimate of my importance. I am willing to be a servant.
Polite and respectful: I show honor to everyone.
Considerate: I care about the needs of others.
Forgiving: I don’t keep a record of wrong.
Rejoices with the truth of God and His Word.
Always protects (NIV): I will guard and defend the truth.
Always trusts (NIV): I trust God and His promises.
Always hopes (NIV): I believe and claim God’s promises.
Always perseveres (NIV): I am persistent despite difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement, and I don’t quit.
ympathetic, friendly, gentle, tender-hearted, generous, and so on.
Humble: does not boast; has a modest opinion or estimate of one’s own importance, rank, etc.
Polite and respectful: show honor
Considerate: care about the needs of others
Forgiving: does not keep a record of wrong
Rejoices with the truth of God and His Word
Bears all things (NAS & ESV): patiently endures; and always protects (NIV): guards; defends the truth
Believes all things (NAS & ESV); and always trusts (NIV): God and His promises
Hopes all things (NAS & ESV); and always hopes (NIV): believes and claims God’s promises
Endures all things (NAS & ESV); and always perseveres (NIV): steady persistence in the course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., despite difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement (does not quit)
TRUTH AND TRANSFORMATION STATEMENTS
- Love is being able to let go of a wrong, forgive, and not stir up strife (Prov. 10:12; 1Pet. 4:8).
- As I stay in love, I will also abide in God’s love, and He will watch over me (1John 4:16; Ps. 145:20).
- I can love others as I love myself and as I would want them to love me (Mk. 12:31; Matt. 7:12; Luke 6:31).
- God is love, and God loves me. Nothing in the universe can separate me from the love of God (Rom. 8:39).
- God loved me first, so I can love others and myself (1Jn. 4:19).
- As I increase in love for others, being tenderhearted, kind, and forgiving, God will strengthen my heart so I will be blameless and holy (Eph. 4:32; 1Thes. 3:12,13).
- I devote myself to loving others, and I can give preference to others in honor and serve them (Rom. 12:10; Gal. 5:13,14; Phil. 2:3-11).
- The love of God is perfected in me when I obey His Word (1Jn. 2:5; 1Pet. 1:22).
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P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).