1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories


My heart and mind were full of offenses and painful memories from growing up in a dysfunctional “Christian” home, which was full of anger and abuse.  Because of this, I became handicapped in my ability to relate to people in a healthy way, and I could not feel, show, or receive love.  Fortunately, at eight years old, I heard the good news about Jesus, and I believed and asked Him into my heart.  After making this decision, I felt alive, happy, and I did not feel alone anymore because I knew Jesus was with me.  Unfortunately, I continued to live in an abusive home, in which bad memories and the related physiological and emotional stress continued to build up in my heart.

My first marriage was to a “Christian” man who was also wounded and full of offenses, and who would be very abusive toward me.  So, what does dysfunctional and abuse mean?  Dysfunctional is to be impaired in some way (by alcohol, drugs, mental illness, addictions, etc.) and abnormal (not stable, secure, peaceful, etc.).  Abuse is to mistreat others to the point of injuring them (physically, emotionally, mentally, and sexually).  Abuse is also using insulting, coarse, or bad language about or to someone.  Because we live in a world with people controlled by sin and their own painful memories, there will always be pain.

The offenses in my heart affected all my relationships and how I saw myself for over 40 years.  Then, I found the transformational power of addressing the painful memories and the negative stress energy they emitted.  I was the perfect candidate to test what worked and did not work for healing unresolved negative issues permanently.   The psychologists I went to and the self-help books I read only revealed the degree of my dysfunction and despair.  Even though I went to church and had faith in God, I could not relate to people in a loving way.  I kept reacting out of my wounded heart from offenses, unhealthy beliefs, and painful memories from my past. This is also true for all of us, including our parents, and it is why Christians appear hypocritical.

Read the following post for a more detailed description of my tranformational testimony: WHAT IS INNER LIFE TRANSFORMATION- My Story?

Memory Pictures Program Our Hearts and Lives

Our unconscious mind is influenced by the negative images stored in our memories without our ever knowing it.  Therefore, painful subconscious memories have the same damaging effect on our physical bodies as conscious negative thoughts and images.  I learned the source of our problems is unconscious at least 90% of the time. This fact makes it impossible to consciously address the cause of our physical, emotional, and spiritual issues. Only through prayer and asking God to reveal and remove these subconscious destructive images can we experience complete healing.

Though you may not have experienced the abuse as I have, please understand, we all have damaged emotions and soul/heart wounds.  The damage comes from offenses that are stored in our subconscious mind throughout our lifetime. Consequently, these suppressed offenses continue to control our choices.  All offenses occur when we store in our hearts the real or perceived unloving acts and words, of friends, family, teachers, co-workers, bosses, neighbors, church family, etc., and even God. We can also create offenses in our hearts from our own sin, negative words, and thoughts from our unhealthy beliefs.  These offenses create physiological stress that weakens our bodies, which then leads to illnesses.  Additionally, all offenses create unhealthy beliefs that keep us from purely loving others.

For example, your parents didn’t do something you wanted, so you feel they don’t love you, and you believe you are not worthy to be loved.  Both are lies, and an offense has begun.  You may vow, “If I don’t ask for anything or expect it, then I won’t be hurt again.”  As an adult, you may have forgotten about the original offense, but the wrong thoughts and unhealthy beliefs still remain.  Therefore, complete healing requires removing these hidden offenses and the related unhealthy beliefs.  Also, consider the fact that physical and psychological symptoms are often related to bad memories and offenses stored in your subconscious minds.

Other trauma memories that affect us can come from what we watched on TV or in the movies.  For example, I found myself being fearful, almost obsessed, with the thought of being abducted and tortured.  I could not shake the fear.  When I pondered about why I was so fearful, I realized I acquired the fear from a movie I had watched.  Other destructive images can come from pornography and even video games.  Also, consider what negative images, unhealthy beliefs, and wrong thinking come from what we have read or heard. Furthermore, consider how the sources listed above program our thinking and beliefs, especially the news.  The prayers in this healing guide will eliminate these images, programming, and wrong beliefs.

Drs. Loyd and Johnson explained in their book (The Healing Codes, pgs. 125-126) about how trauma memories and associated unhealthy beliefs affect our lives.  They suggested that sometimes, the unconscious doesn’t always interpret events the same way our conscious mind does.  So, a picture you remember may not seem, to your adult self, to be a big deal even though it was a huge deal at age five.  For example, one client felt like her entire life had been negatively affected by her relationship with her mother.  The main picture she kept remembering was at five years old when her mother gave her sister a popsicle but would not give her one.  Her mother even said, ‘Your sister has already had lunch.  When you have lunch, you can have a popsicle too.’  It doesn’t seem to make sense in our rational adult thinking that her problems could stem from this event—but they did!

At five year old she had interpreted her mother’s actions as meaning that her mother did not love her as much as her sister…and if that were true, it must mean something was wrong with her, and if that were true, then others would probably not love her either.  When she healed the popsicle memory picture, her career (her troubling issue/problem) took off like a rocket.

Dr. Leaf discovered in her research that what we consciously think and what we say and do comes from the information and memory images in the unconscious mind that has been accumulating since our birth.  These memories form the perceptual base through which we see life and react to stressful situations.  Therefore, all our wrong perceptions need to be lined up with the biblical truth.  This healing process is an ongoing life-long process of resolving negative memories, past and present offenses, and the resulting unhealthy beliefs, emotions, curses, and vows from our hearts as we work through the twelve prayer focuses described in this guide.

For example, I often found myself getting angry with the kindest person ever, who had never said anything mean or unkind to me, so why would I get irate with her?  This anger went on for several years until finally I went to God in prayer and asked Him to show me why I would get infuriated with her when I had absolutely no reason to be angry.  I waited for God to speak to my mind.  He dropped the word “irresponsibility” in my mind.  I asked Him to show me why I would be angry about this.  I waited again, and then God brought up the repressed trauma memory of my father’s irresponsibility that I had taken offense to, and I didn’t even know it.  My friend had triggered the unseen hurt and anger.  I went through the forgiveness process for each of the trauma memories that God brought up from my subconscious.  I was healed by verbally losing and putting off the offenses stored in my heart along with all the negative energies tied to the trauma memories.   I also sought forgiveness from God for my anger.  When I completed this process, I was no longer angry with that person.  I explain this process throughout the rest of this website.

Dreams Reveal Unconscious Memories

God often reveals repressed issues through dreams.  Many times, I dreamed of things that were in my unconscious mind or about things God wanted to heal.  Furthermore, Karen Mains, author of The Key to a Loving Heart, believes that we should pay careful attention to our dreams, negative emotions, and speech because they reveal unconscious heart issues.  She suggested keeping a notebook by our beds to record our dreams.   Kati Sousa also taught about the importance of dreams on her “Healing Soul Wounds” CD in which she believes that our dreams also show us our next healing issue.  She also suggested asking God to “shine His glory light into our souls to reveal our soul wounds, which we all have.  Subsequently, she suggests that we know we are healed when we have peace and contentment when we think of the offense.

For example, I thought I had prayed through the issues God showed me that had influenced my negative reaction to a situation at work.  But I still did not feel peace, and I couldn’t shake it.  Several days later, I had a dream about having a conflict over the same issue.  I asked God to show me why, and He revealed that I had not dealt with the negative emotions from the original conflict revealed in the dream.  I prayed the specific prayer focus in this guide related to the negative emotions and repented, and then I had perfect peace and no feelings of ill will at all.

As you continue to read the pages of this website, I encourage you to seek God and invite Him to reveal issues in your life that need healing.  One thing to note, as my toxic memories, beliefs, and emotions were healed, I had physical detox reactions of feeling tired and sick.  There are many ways to overcome this detoxing effect, such as drinking a lot of water and detox teas, exercising, as well as taking Epson salt detox baths for one hour (2C Epson Salt and 1 C Baking Soda).  You can find more ideas about detoxing by doing an internet search.


I have combined three very effective prayer models, and I pray these specific prayers for each revealed issue or wound, which is usually through trials and troubles.  I explain how God led me to discover these specific prayers that heal the unresolved issues in our lives in the next section.

Information Sources and My Transformation

In the book, Shattering Your Strongholds by Liberty Savard, I learned how to pray by faith and be set free from unhealthy beliefs (lies about self, life, and God) and mental strongholds that protect the unhealthy beliefs. I then learned to replace the lies I believed with the truth. This helped me eliminate many mental strongholds, negative thoughts, and unhealthy beliefs that controlled my behavior. But I didn’t see lasting transformation until I read The Healing Codes book and manual (HCM), by Dr. Alexander Loyd, Ph.D., ND with Dr. Ben Johnson, MD, DO, NMD, in which they explained the importance of healing bad memories and offenses that cause unhealthy beliefs and physiological stress.  I do not endorse the Healing Codes methods as I discovered that only truth can transform our lives.

Though the above specific prayers began transforming my mind and heart, I could not break the mental and emotional programming that controlled my behavior. Then I learned about a third excellent prayer model from the “Seven Prayers that Heal the Heart” CD by Pastor Mark Verkler, who explained what a healed heart looked like. The seven prayers transform generational issues, soul ties, negative beliefs, vows, word curses, trauma memories, and demonic attachments. Additionally, Kati Souza’s teaching CD’s on “Healing Soul Wounds” also addressed similar areas of healing from her life experiences, which led to her incarceration.

Additionally, I learned how I could change my thinking and ultimately my reactions to stress from the book called Switch on Your Brain by Dr. Caroline Leaf. In her research, she discovered that what we consciously think and what we say and do comes from the information and memory images in the unconscious mind.  Also, in my quest to understand how a healthy person should think and act, I read Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey.  I wanted so much to be what Covey described that I pursued learning more about how to heal the unresolved issues of my childhood.  You will find the adapted summary of this book on the page titled “Healthy Thinking and Behaving.”

Ultimately, the Bible is the most important book to read for complete healing and transformation of our minds, hearts, and health. Furthermore, for the prayers in this guide to be effective, we need to have a right relationship with God, because it is God who ultimately heals us. If you have issues with God, I would ask that you believe the fact that He wants to heal your hurts and give you a new life. This begins with spiritual healing by believing and confessing that Jesus Christ is God the Son, who died on the cross to pay the debt for sin and who forgives our sins and frees us from sins control (See Jn 1:29; 1 Jn 4:15; 1 Pet 1:18-19; Col 1:14; & Gal 5:1). When we confess this with our mouth and believe it with our heart, then God the Holy Spirit enters our hearts and fills us with the love, life, and light of Jesus (See Gal 4:6 & 1 Cor 6:17). If you have not made this confession, then do it now to begin the healing process (See Rom 10:9-13 & Eph 2:1-10). Moreover, we are transformed by the love of God the Father as we remain with Him and trust Him to transform our lives according to His Word.

The reason the prayers presented in this guide is effective is because much of what controls our thinking, behavior, and physical issues are in our unconscious mind.  Therefore, we cannot consciously address the cause of our problems, for which only God knows and can reveal them to us through prayer.  This makes sense because when we get a new life (born again) through faith in Jesus Christ (1 Jn 5:1 & Jn 1:12), our trauma memories, unhealthy beliefs, and wrong thinking from our “old life” are not magically changed but are transformed (sanctified) by prayer and the truth of God’s Word; see Rom. 12:2; John 17:17; and I Peter 1:22.

Copyright 2015

2–Removing Blocks to Healing