1–Healing Begins by Transforming Bad Memories



My heart and mind were full of offenses and painful memories from growing up in a dysfunctional “Christian” home, which was full of anger and much abuse.  Because of this, I became handicapped in my ability to relate to people in a healthy way and I could not feel, show, or receive love. Fortunately, at eight years old I heard the good news about Jesus and I believed and asked Him into my heart. After making this decision, I felt more alive, happy, and I did not feel alone anymore because I knew Jesus was with me. Unfortunately, I continued to live in an abusive home, in which bad memories and the related physiological and emotional stress continued to build up in my heart.  Moreover, my first marriage was to a “Christian” man who was also wounded and full of offenses, and who would be very abusive toward me.  So what is dysfunctional and abuse?  Dysfunctional is to be impaired in some way (by alcohol, drugs, mental illness, addictions, etc.) and abnormal (not stable, secure, peaceful, etc.).  Abuse is to mistreat others to the point of injuring them (physically, emotionally, mentally, and sexually).  Abuse is also using insulting, coarse, or bad language about or to someone.  Because we live in a world full of evil and people controlled by sin and painful memories, there will always be pain.

These offenses affected all my relationships and how I saw myself for over 40 years until I found the transformational power of specific focused prayer outlined in this website.  I was the perfect candidate for testing what worked and did not work for healing unresolved childhood issues permanently.   Specific focused prayer restore hope, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, trust, and self-control.  I went to several psychologists and read many self-help books, which only revealed the degree of my dysfunction.  Even though I went to church and had faith in God, I could not relate to people in a loving way.  I kept reacting out of my wounded heart from offenses, unhealthy beliefs, and painful memories from my past. This is also true for all of us, including our parents, and it is why Christians appear hypocritical.

Memory Pictures Program Our Hearts and Lives

I have learned that our unconscious mind can be focused on destructive images that are stored in our memories without our ever knowing it.  Therefore, unconscious painful memories have the same damaging effect to our physical bodies as conscious negative thoughts and images.  As a result, the source of our problems is unconscious at least 90% of the time, making it impossible to consciously address the cause of our physical, emotional, and spiritual issues, which is why permanent healing happens through prayer and asking God to reveal and heal these unconscious destructive images.

Though you may not have been abused as I have, please understand that we all have damaged emotions and soul/heart wounds from offenses that are stored in our subconscious mind throughout our life-time. These offenses are generated by bad memories that continue to control our choices.  All offenses occur when we store in our hearts the real or perceived unloving acts and words, of friends, family, teachers, co-workers, bosses, neighbors, church family, etc., even God. We can also create offenses in our hearts from our own sin, negative words, and thoughts from our unhealthy beliefs.  These offenses create physiological stress that weakens our bodies, which then leads to illnesses.  Additionally, all offenses create unhealthy beliefs that keep us from purely loving others.

For example, your parents didn’t get you something you really wanted, so you feel they don’t love you,” and you believe “I’m not worthy of being loved.” Both are lies, and an offense has begun.  You may vow, “If I don’t ask for anything or expect it, then I won’t be hurt again.”  As an adult, you may have forgotten about the original offense but the wrong thoughts and unhealthy beliefs still remain and they need to be healed for you to have a complete healing.  Therefore, consider the physical and psychological symptoms you have and how they may be related to bad memories and offenses stored in your subconscious.

Other trauma memories that affect us can also come from what we watched on TV or in the movies.  For example, I found myself being fearful, almost obsessed, with the thought of being abducted and tortured.  I could not shake the fear.  When I pondered why I was so fearful, I realized I acquired the fear from a movie I had watched.  Other destructive images can come from pornography and even video games.  Also, consider the images, wrong beliefs, and thinking that are stored in our memory from what we have read or heard; especially news stories.  Additionally, consider how our thinking and beliefs have been programmed by these external sources.  The prayers in this website also heal these images and wrong beliefs.

Drs. Loyd and Johnson explained in their book (The Healing Codes, pgs. 125-126) about how trauma memories and associated unhealthy beliefs affect our lives.  They suggested that sometimes, the unconscious doesn’t always interpret events the same way our conscious mind does.  So, a picture you remember may not seem, to your adult self, to be a big deal even though it was a very big deal at age 5.  For example, one client felt like her entire life had been negatively affected by her relationship with her mother.  The main picture she kept remembering was at 5 years old when her mother gave her sister a popsicle but would not give her one.  Her mother even said, ‘Your sister has already had lunch.  When you have lunch you can have a popsicle too.’  It doesn’t seem to make sense in terms of rational adult thinking that her problems could stem from this event—but they did!

At 5 she had interpreted her mother’s actions as meaning that her mother did not love her as much as her sister…and if that was true it must mean something was wrong with her…and if that was true then others would probably not love her either.  When she healed the popsicle memory picture, her career (her troubling issue/problem) took off like a rocket.

Dr. Leaf discovered in her research that what we consciously think and what we say and do comes from the information and memory images in the unconscious mind that have been accumulating since our birth.  These memories form the perceptual base through which we see life and react to stressful situations.  Therefore, I believe that when all our wrong perceptions are lined up with biblical truth that we will be totally healed.  This healing process is an ongoing life-long process of resolving negative memories, past and present offenses, and the resulting unhealthy beliefs, emotions, curses, and vows from our hearts as we work through the prayer focuses described in this guide.

For example, I often found myself getting angry with the kindest person ever, who had never said anything mean or unkind to me, so why would I get angry with her?  This went on for several years until finally I went to God in prayer and asked Him to show me why I would get angry with her when I had absolutely no reason to be angry.  I waited for a while for God to speak to my mind.  He dropped the word “irresponsibility” in my mind.  I asked Him to show me why I would be angry about this.  I waited for a little while then God brought up the repressed trauma memory of my father’s irresponsibility that I had taken offense to, and I didn’t even know it.  My friend had triggered the unseen hurt and anger.  I went through the forgiveness process for each of the trauma memories that God brought up from my unconscious, and I released them by verbally losing and putting off the offenses from my heart along with all the negative energies of the trauma memories from every cell where they had been stored.  I also sought forgiveness from God for my anger.  When I completed this process, I was no longer angry with that person.  I explain this process throughout the rest of this website.

Dreams Reveal Unconscious Memories

God often reveals unconscious issues through dreams.  Many times, I dreamed of things that were in my unconscious mind or about things God wanted to heal.  Furthermore, Karen Mains, author of The Key to a Loving Heart, believes that we should pay careful attention to our dreams, negative emotions, and speech because they reveal unconscious heart issues.  She suggested keeping a notebook by our beds to record our dreams.  The main point of her book is that forgiveness is the key that unlocks a loving heart.  Kati Sousa also taught about the importance of dreams on her “Healing Soul Wounds” CD in which she believes that our dreams also show us our next healing issue.  She also suggested asking God to “shine His glory light into our souls to reveal our soul wounds, which we all have.  Subsequently, she suggests that we know we are healed when we have peace and contentment when we think of the offense.

For example, I thought I had prayed through the issues God showed me that had influenced my negative reaction during a situation at work.  But, I still did not feel peace, and I couldn’t shake it.  Several days later, I had a dream about having a conflict over the same issue.  I asked God to show me why, and He revealed that I had not dealt with the negative emotions from the original conflict, which was revealed in the dream.  I prayed the specific prayer focus in this guide related to the negative emotions and repented, and then I had perfect peace and no feelings of ill will at all.

As you continue to read the pages of this website, I encourage you to seek God and invite Him to reveal issues in your life to be healed.  One thing to note, as my toxic memories, beliefs, and emotions were healed, I had physical detox reactions of feeling tired and sick.  There are many ways to overcome this detoxing effect, such as drinking a lot of water and detox teas, exercising, as well as taking epson salt detox baths for one hour (2C Epson Salt and 1 C Baking Soda).  You can find more ideas about detoxing by doing an internet search.


I have combined three very effective prayer models together, and I pray these specific prayers for each new issue or wound that is revealed, which is usually through trials and troubles.  In the next section, I explain how God led me to discover the power of specific prayer to heal the unresolved issues of our lives that are revealed by the troubles of life.

Information Sources for Transformation

In the book, Shattering Your Strongholds by Liberty Savard, I learned how to pray by faith and be set free from unhealthy beliefs (lies about self, life, and God) and mental strongholds that protect the unhealthy beliefs. I then learned to replace the lies I believed with truth. This helped me eliminate many mental strongholds, negative thoughts, and unhealthy beliefs that controlled my behavior. But I didn’t see lasting transformation until I read The Healing Codes book and manual (HCM), by Dr. Alexander Loyd, PhD, ND with Dr. Ben Johnson, MD, DO, NMD, in which they explained the importance of healing bad memories and offenses that cause unhealthy beliefs and physiological stress.

Though the above specific prayers began transforming my mind and heart, I could not break the mental and emotional programming that controlled my behavior. Then I learned about a third excellent prayer model from the “Seven Prayers that Heal the Heart” CD by Pastor Mark Verkler, who explained what a healed heart looked like. The seven prayers transform generational issues, soul ties, negative beliefs, vows, word curses, trauma memories, and demonic attachments. Additionally, Kati Souza’s teaching CD’s on “Healing Soul Wounds” also addressed similar areas of healing from her life experiences, which led to her incarceration.

Additionally, I learned how I could change my thinking and ultimately my reactions to stress from the book called Switch on Your Brain by Dr. Caroline Leaf. In her research, she discovered that what we consciously think and what we say and do comes from the information and memory images in the unconscious mind.  Also, in my quest to understand how a healthy person should think and act, I read Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey.  I wanted so much to be what Covey described that I pursued learning more about how to heal the unresolved issues of my childhood.  You will find the adapted summary of this book on the page titled “Healthy Thinking and Behaving.”

Ultimately, the Bible is the most important book to read for complete healing and transformation of our minds, hearts, and health. Furthermore, in order for the prayers in this guide to be effective, we need to have a right relationship with God, because it is God who ultimately heals us. If you have issues with God, I would ask that you believe the fact that He wants to heal your hurts and give you life, which Satan has taken from you. This begins with spiritual healing through believing and confessing that Jesus Christ is God the Son, who died on the cross to pay the debt for sin; to forgive our sins and free us from sins control (See Jn 1:29; 1 Jn 4:15; 1 Pet 1:18-19; Col 1:14; & Gal 5:1). When we confess this with our mouth and believe it with our heart, then God the Holy Spirit and His love, life, and light enter into our hearts (See Gal 4:6 & 1 Cor 6:17). If you have not made this confession, then do it now to begin the healing process (See Rom 10:9-13 & Eph 2:1-10). Moreover, we are transformed by the love of God the Father as we remain with Him and trust Him to transform our lives according to His Word.

The reason that the prayers presented in this guide work is because much of what controls our thinking, behavior, and physical issues are in our unconscious mind, making it impossible to consciously address the cause, for which only God knows and can reveal them to us through prayer. This makes sense because when we get a new life (born again) through faith in Jesus Christ (1 Jn 5:1 & Jn 1:12), our trauma memories, unhealthy beliefs, and wrong thinking from our “old life” are not magically changed but are transformed (sanctified) by prayer and the truth of God’s Word; see Rom. 12:2; John 17:17; and I Peter 1:22.

Copyright 2015