Because we live in a sin-cursed world, we will accumulate painful memories that control our thoughts, emotions, mental and physical health, and spiritual growth. In this healing guide, I describe my healing journey and how I transformed both my repressed and conscious painful memories and related unhealthy beliefs. Because of this healing, how I relate to people is healthier. I invite you to go on this transformational healing journey with me.
MY NEED FOR HEALING
I grew up in a dysfunctional “Christian” home. Because of the anger and abuse, I became handicapped in my ability to feel, show, or receive love. Then, at eight years old, I heard the good news of salvation in Jesus, and I believed and asked Him into my heart. After making this decision, I felt alive, and I did not feel alone and unloved anymore. I learned that Satan works to destroy us, but Jesus gives us life, love, and hope (see John 10:10). I still had to live in an abusive home where painful memories and the related psychological and emotional stress continued to build up in my heart. Then, my first marriage was to an abusive, dysfunctional “Christian” who was emotionally wounded from painful memories from his dysfunctional home.
So, what does dysfunctional and abuse mean? “Dysfunctional” is to be impaired in some way (by alcohol, drugs, mental illness, addictions, and so on), abnormal (not stable, secure, peaceful, and so on). “Abuse” is to mistreat others to the point of injuring them (physically, emotionally, mentally, and sexually). Abuse is also using insulting, coarse, or bad language about or to someone. Because we live in an imperfect world with imperfect people controlled by sin and painful memories, we will have to endure emotional pain at times in our lives.
My painful memories influenced how I thought and behaved, which caused problems in my relationships and it affected my parenting. Even though I believed in God, repented of my sinful behavior, and tried to do what the Bible said, I still struggled with controlling my thoughts and emotions. I went to several psychologists and read many self-help books, but they only showed how dysfunctional I was. My life changed when I discovered the transformational power of healing the negative emotional stress from painful memories and unhealthy beliefs. I was the perfect person to test what worked and did not work for restoring hope, love, peace, and joy. Understanding how painful memories and sin influence unloving behavior, including my parents’ behavior, helped me to forgive. Forgiving is the key to healing and loving others well. I can now be patient with other Christians when they behave poorly instead of judging them as hypocrites.
Read the following post for a more detailed description of my transformational testimony: WHAT IS INNER LIFE TRANSFORMATION- My Story?
In my research, I learned that everyone has subconscious behavioral programming from memories accumulated since birth. Years of anger and abuse programmed how I reacted, and I could not control it. The repressed resentments from painful memories created negative feelings that controlled my emotional response.
I learned that our subconscious painful memories cause cellular stress that weakens our bodies, making us susceptible to illnesses. Research done by Dr. Bruce Lipton found that the source of our problems are subconscious at least 90% of the time, which makes it near impossible to heal the cause of our physical, emotional, and mental issues. But nothing is impossible with God (see Matt. 19:26), and He knows everything in our subconscious mind (see Ps. 139).
Unloving and unjust actions that you felt were unfair created an offense that is stored as painful memories. An offense damages your emotions, wounds your soul, and creates resentment. Resentments grow from the negative feelings from real or perceived unloving acts and insults of friends, family, teachers, co-workers, bosses, neighbors, church family, and even God. Our sin and wrong thoughts from unhealthy beliefs also create offenses. Suppressed offenses block genuine love.
For example, your parents didn’t do something you wanted, so you feel they don’t love you, and you believe you are not worthy of being loved. Both are lies, and an offense is created. You may vow, “If I don’t ask for anything or expect it, then I won’t be hurt again.” As an adult, you may have forgotten the original offense. Still, the wrong thoughts and unhealthy beliefs remain in your subconscious mind. Therefore, complete healing requires removing these hidden offenses and related false beliefs.
What you watched on TV or in the movies may also cause physical and emotional stress. Images you see and imagine from what you read are all stored as a memory that programs your reactions and emotions. For example, I found myself being fearful, almost obsessed, with the thought of being abducted and tortured. I could not shake the fear. When I pondered why I was so afraid, I realized I acquired the fear from a movie I had watched. Other destructive images can come from pornography and even video games. Also, consider the negative images, unhealthy beliefs, and wrong thinking that is created from what you read or hear. Understand how these sources program your views and opinions. The prayers in this healing guide will transform these images, programming, and wrong beliefs.
Drs. Loyd and Johnson explained in their book (The Healing Code, pgs. 125-126) how traumatic memories and associated unhealthy beliefs affect our lives. They suggested that sometimes, the unconscious doesn’t always interpret events the same way our conscious mind does. So, a picture you remember may not seem, to your adult self, to be a big deal even though it was a huge deal at age five. The example is given of one of their clients who felt her entire life had been negatively affected by her relationship with her mother. The main picture she kept remembering was at five years old when her mother gave her sister a popsicle but would not give her one. Her mother even said, ‘Your sister has already had lunch. When you have lunch, you can have a popsicle too.’ It doesn’t seem to make sense in our rational adult thinking that her problems could stem from this event—but they did!
At five years old, she had interpreted her mother’s actions as meaning her mother did not love her as much as her sister. And if that were true, it must mean something was wrong with her, and if that were true, then others would probably not love her either. When she healed the popsicle memory picture, her career (her troubling issue) took off like a rocket.
Neuroscientist Dr. Caroline Leaf discovered in her research that what we consciously think, say, and do comes from the information and memory images in the unconscious mind that have been accumulating since our birth. These memories form the perceptual base through which we see life and react to stressful situations. This healing guide will help you transform your wrong perceptions. The healing process is an ongoing life-long process of resolving negative memories, past and present offenses, and the resulting unhealthy beliefs and emotions in your heart and mind.
Conscious and subconscious painful memories produce wrong thoughts and unhealthy beliefs that control our emotions and behavior. For example, I often found myself getting angry with the kindest person ever. She never said anything mean to me, so why did I get exasperated with her? This anger went on for several years until finally, I went to God in prayer and asked Him to show me why I would get infuriated with her when I had absolutely no reason to be angry. I waited for God to speak to my mind. He dropped the word “irresponsibility” in my mind. I asked Him to show me why I would be angry about this. I waited again, and then God brought up the repressed traumatic memory of my father’s irresponsibility that I had taken offense to, and I didn’t even know it. My friend had triggered this unseen hurt and anger. So I forgave my father for each of the memories that God brought up from my subconscious. I was healed by verbally putting off the offenses stored in my heart along with all the negative energies tied to the traumatic memories. Next, I also sought God’s forgiveness for my anger. When I completed this prayer time, I was no longer angry with that person. I explain this emotional healing process throughout the rest of this healing guide.
God often reveals repressed issues through dreams. I often dreamed of things that were in my subconscious mind or things God wanted to heal. Karen Mains, author of The Key to a Loving Heart, believes we should pay careful attention to our dreams, negative emotions, and speech because they reveal subconscious heart issues. She suggested keeping a notebook by our beds to record our dreams. The main point of her book is that forgiveness is the key that unlocks a loving heart. Kati Sousa also taught about the importance of dreams in her “Healing Soul Wounds” CD, in which she believes our dreams often show us our next healing issue. She also suggested asking God to “shine His glory light” into our souls to reveal our soul wounds, which we all have. Subsequently, she suggested we know we are healed when we have peace and contentment when we think of the offense.
God often reveals repressed issues through dreams. I often dreamed of things that were in my subconscious mind or things God wanted to heal. Pay attention to negative emotions and speech because they also reveal subconscious heart issues. Present negative issues trigger past resentments. If you have peace and contentment when you think of the offense, you know you are healed.
For example, I had a negative reaction to a situation at work. I thought I had prayed through the related issues God showed me. But, I still did not feel peace, and I couldn’t shake it. Several days later, I had a dream about having a conflict over the same issue. I asked God to show me why, and He revealed that I had not healed the negative emotions from the original disagreement shown in the dream. When I dealt with the initial negative emotions, I had peace and no feelings of ill will.
One thing to note, as God healed my toxic memories, beliefs, and emotions, I had physical detox reactions of feeling tired and sick. There are many ways to overcome this detoxing effect, such as drinking a lot of water and detox teas, exercising, and taking Epsom salt baths for one hour (2 C Epsom salt and 1 C baking soda). You can find more ideas for detoxing by doing an internet search.
For example, I thought I had prayed through the issues God showed me that had influenced my adverse reaction to a situation at work. But, I still did not feel peace, and I couldn’t shake it. Several days later, I had a dream about having a conflict over the same issue. I asked God to show me why, and He revealed that I had not healed the negative emotions from the original disagreement shown in the dream. When I dealt with the initial negative emotions, I had peace and no feelings of ill will.
One thing to note, as my toxic memories, beliefs, and emotions were healed, I had physical detox reactions of feeling tired and sick. There are many ways to overcome this detoxing effect, such as drinking a lot of water and detox teas, exercising, and taking Epson salt baths for one hour (2C Epson Salt and 1 C Baking Soda). You can find more ideas for detoxing by doing an internet search.
DON’T GIVE UP. HEALING IS WORTH IT!
God led me to discover three very effective, specific prayers to heal unresolved negative issues in our lives. Frustration and irritations reveal the harmful problem of resentment in our hearts. I explain the three prayer models and their sources in the next section.
In the book, Shattering Your Strongholds by Liberty Savard, I learned how to pray by faith and become free from unhealthy beliefs and the mental strongholds that protect my unhealthy beliefs. I then learned to replace the lies I believed with the truth. These prayers helped me eliminate many mental strongholds, negative thoughts, and harmful beliefs that controlled my behavior. But I didn’t see lasting transformation until I read The Healing Code, book and manual (HCM) by Dr. Alexander Loyd, Ph.D., ND, with Dr. Ben Johnson, MD, DO, NMD. They explained the importance of healing painful memories and offenses that cause unhealthy beliefs and physiological stress. I do not endorse the Healing Code’s methods as I discovered that only Biblical truth transforms and heals.
I still could not break the subconscious mental and emotional programming that controlled my actions. Then, I discovered a third prayer model from the Seven Prayers that Heal the Heart CD by Pastor Mark Virkler. These prayers transform generational issues, soul ties, negative beliefs, vows, word curses, traumatic memories, and demonic attachments.
I learned how to change my wrong thinking and unhealthy reactions to stress from the book called Switch on Your Brain by Dr. Caroline Leaf. In her research, she discovered that what we consciously think and what we say and do comes from the information and memory images in the subconscious mind. And, in my quest to understand how a healthy person should think and act, I read Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. I have included an adapted summary of this book at the end of this healing guide.
Ultimately, the Bible is the most important book to read for complete healing and transformation of our minds, hearts, and health. I turned many Bible truths into transforming prayers. Most verses in this guide are from the New American Standard Bible (NAS) and some from the New International Version (NIV). For the prayers in this guide to be effective, we need to have the right relationship with God because He is our healer.
Spiritual healing is the first step toward complete healing. Make sure you believe and confess that Jesus Christ is God the Son, who died to pay the debt for your sin and rose from the dead. Believe that He forgives your sins and frees you from sin’s control (See Jn. 1:29; 1Jn. 4:15; 1Pet. 1:18-19; Col. 1:14; & Gal. 5:1). When you confess this with your mouth and believe it with your heart, then God the Holy Spirit comes into your heart and fills you with love, life, and light (See Rom. 10:9-13; Gal. 4:6; Eph. 3:17; 1Cor. 6:17; Jn. 12:46). If you have not made this commitment, then do it now to begin your healing process (Eph. 2:1-10). The love of God the Father transforms you as you stay with Him and trust Him. 2Corinthians 13:14 states, “The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.”
Prayer is most effective for healing because most of what controls our thinking, behavior, and physical issues are in our subconscious mind, making it impossible to change. Only God knows our repressed memories and can show us through prayer. So, when we get a new life (are born again) through faith in Jesus Christ (see 1Jn. 5:1 & Jn. 1:12), traumatic memories, unhealthy beliefs, and wrong thinking from our “old life” are not instantly changed. We are transformed (sanctified) by prayer and the truth of God’s Word; (see Rom. 12:2; John 17:17; and 1Pet. 1:22).
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