Because we live in a sin-cursed world, we will accumulate painful memories that control our thoughts and emotions. In this healing guide, I describe my healing journey by transforming my conscious and subconscious painful memories. My relationships are also transforming because of this healing. I invite you to go on this transformational healing journey with me.
MY NEED FOR HEALING
I grew up in a dysfunctional “Christian” home. Because of the anger and abuse, I became handicapped in my ability to feel, show, or receive love. My memories were suppressed for many years. Then, at eight years old, I heard the good news of salvation in Jesus, and I believed and asked Him into my heart. After making this decision, I felt alive, and I did not feel alone and unloved anymore. I learned that Satan works to destroy us, but Jesus gives us life, love, and hope (see John 10:10). I still had to live in an abusive home, where painful memories and the related physiological and emotional stress continued to build up in my heart. Then, my first marriage was to an abusive, dysfunctional “Christian” who was emotionally wounded and had painful memories from his dysfunctional home.
So, what does dysfunctional and abuse mean? Dysfunctional is to be impaired in some way (by alcohol, drugs, mental illness, addictions, etc.) and abnormal (not stable, secure, peaceful, etc.). Abuse is to mistreat others to the point of injuring them (physically, emotionally, mentally, and sexually). Abuse is also using insulting, coarse, or bad language about or to someone. Because we live in an imperfect world with imperfect people controlled by sin and painful memories, we will have to endure emotional pain.
My painful memories influenced how I thought and behaved, which caused problems in my relationships and parenting. And, even though I believed in God, repented of my sinful behavior, and tried to do what the Bible said, I still struggled with controlling my thoughts and emotions. I went to several psychologists and read many self-help books, but they only showed how dysfunctional I was. My life changed when I discovered the transformational power of healing the negative stress-energy from my painful memories and unhealthy beliefs. I was the perfect person to test what worked and did not work for restoring hope, love, peace, and joy. Now that I know how painful memories and sin influence unloving behavior, including my parents’ behavior, help me to forgive, which is the key to healing and loving others well. I can now be patient with other Christian believers when they behavior poorly instead of judging them as hypocrites.
Read the following post for a more detailed description of my transformational testimony: WHAT IS INNER LIFE TRANSFORMATION- My Story?
In my research, I learned that everyone is programmed by subconscious memories that have accumulated since their birth. My life was programed by years of anger and abuse, and the painful memories from my subconscious mind controlled my emotions. I also, learned our subconscious painful memories cause physiological stress that weakens the body making it susceptible to illnesses. Physiological and emotional stress is negative energy that is attached to painful memories and false beliefs. This negative energy is not New Age thinking but is a part of the science of quantum physics. I explain this in greater detail later in this guide. So, the source of our problems is subconscious at least 90% of the time, which makes it near impossible to heal the cause of our physical, emotional, and mental issues. But nothing is impossible with God (see Matthew 19:26), and He knows everything in our subconscious mind (see Ps. 139).
Painful memories are created by offenses from unloving and unjust actions, which damages your emotions and wounds your soul. Offenses occur when you store in your heart the real or perceived unloving acts and words, of friends, family, teachers, co-workers, bosses, neighbors, church family, etc., and even God that you felt was unfair. Sin, negative words and wrong thoughts from unhealthy beliefs also create offenses, which blocks genuine love. These offenses control the hurtful things you think, believe, and do.
For example, your parents didn’t do something you wanted, so you feel they don’t love you, and you believe you are not worthy to be loved. Both are lies, and an offense is created. You may vow, “If I don’t ask for anything or expect it, then I won’t be hurt again.” As an adult, you may have forgotten the original offense, but the wrong thoughts and unhealthy beliefs remain in your subconscious mind. Therefore, complete healing requires removing these hidden offenses and related unhealthy beliefs.
Other trauma memories that increase physiological stress from negative energy can come from what you watched on TV or in the movies. For example, I found myself being fearful, almost obsessed, with the thought of being abducted and tortured. I could not shake the fear. When I pondered why I was so fearful, I realized I acquired the fear from a movie I had watched. Other destructive images can come from pornography and even video games. Also, consider what negative images, unhealthy beliefs, and wrong thinking come from what you read or heard. Consider how these sources program your thinking and beliefs. The prayers in this healing guide will transform these images, programming, and wrong beliefs.
Drs. Loyd and Johnson explained in their book (The Healing Codes, pgs. 125-126) how trauma memories and associated unhealthy beliefs affect our lives. They suggested that sometimes, the unconscious doesn’t always interpret events the same way our conscious mind does. So, a picture you remember may not seem, to your adult self, to be a big deal even though it was a huge deal at age five. For example, one client felt her entire life had been negatively affected by her relationship with her mother. The main picture she kept remembering was at five years old when her mother gave her sister a popsicle but would not give her one. Her mother even said, ‘Your sister has already had lunch. When you have lunch, you can have a popsicle too.’ It doesn’t seem to make sense in our rational adult thinking that her problems could stem from this event—but they did!
At five years old she had interpreted her mother’s actions as meaning her mother did not love her as much as her sister. And if that were true, it must mean something was wrong with her, and if that were true, then others would probably not love her either. When she healed the popsicle memory picture, her career (her troubling issue/problem) took off like a rocket.
Dr. Leaf discovered in her research that what we consciously think, say, and do comes from the information and memory images in the unconscious mind that has been accumulating since our birth. These memories form the perceptual base through which we see life and react to stressful situations. This healing guide will help you transform your wrong perceptions. The healing process is an ongoing life-long process of resolving negative memories, past and present offenses, and the resulting unhealthy beliefs and emotions in your heart and mind.
Conscious and subconscious painful memories produce wrong thoughts and unhealthy beliefs that control our emotions and behavior. For example, I often found myself getting angry with the kindest person ever, who had never said anything mean or unkind to me, so why would I get irate with her? This anger went on for several years until finally I went to God in prayer and asked Him to show me why I would get infuriated with her when I had absolutely no reason to be angry. I waited for God to speak to my mind. He dropped the word “irresponsibility” in my mind. I asked Him to show me why I would be angry about this. I waited again, and then God brought up the repressed trauma memory of my father’s irresponsibility that I had taken offense to, and I didn’t even know it. My friend had triggered the unseen hurt and anger. I went through the forgiveness process for each of the trauma memories that God brought up from my subconscious. I was healed by verbally losing and putting off the offenses stored in my heart along with all the negative energies tied to the trauma memories. I also sought forgiveness from God for my anger. When I completed this process, I was no longer angry with that person. I explain this process throughout the rest of this website.
God often reveals repressed issues through dreams. Many times, I dreamed of things that were in my subconscious mind or things God wanted to heal. Karen Mains, author of The Key to a Loving Heart, believes we should pay careful attention to our dreams, negative emotions, and speech because they reveal subconscious heart issues. She suggested keeping a notebook by our beds to record our dreams. The main point of her book is that forgiveness is the key that unlocks a loving heart. Kati Sousa also taught about the importance of dreams in her “Healing Soul Wounds” CD in which she believes our dreams often show us our next healing issue. She also suggested asking God to “shine His glory light” into our souls to reveal our soul wounds, which we all have. Subsequently, she suggested we know we are healed when we have peace and contentment when we think of the offense.
For example, I thought I had prayed through the issues God showed me that had influenced my negative reaction to a situation at work. But, I still did not feel peace, and I couldn’t shake it. Several days later, I had a dream about having a conflict over the same issue. I asked God to show me why, and He revealed that I had not healed the negative emotions from the original conflict revealed in the dream. When I dealt with the original negative emotions, I had peace and no feelings of ill will.
One thing to note, as my toxic memories, beliefs, and emotions were healed, I had physical detox reactions of feeling tired and sick. There are many ways to overcome this detoxing effect, such as drinking a lot of water and detox teas, exercising, as well as taking Epson salt baths for one hour (2C Epson Salt and 1 C Baking Soda). You can find more ideas for detoxing by doing an internet search.
DON’T GIVE UP, IT IS WORTH IT!
God led me to discover three very effective, specific prayers to heal unresolved negative issues in our lives. Negative issues in your heart are revealed through trials and hardships. I explain the three prayer models and their sources in the next section.
In the book, Shattering Your Strongholds by Liberty Savard, I learned how to pray by faith and become free from unhealthy beliefs and mental strongholds that protect my unhealthy beliefs. I then learned to replace the lies I believed with the truth. These prayers helped me eliminate many mental strongholds, negative thoughts, and harmful beliefs that controlled my behavior. But I didn’t see lasting transformation until I read The Healing Codes book and manual (HCM), by Dr. Alexander Loyd, Ph.D., ND with Dr. Ben Johnson, MD, DO, NMD. They explained the importance of healing painful memories and offenses that cause unhealthy beliefs and physiological stress. I do not endorse the Healing Codes methods as I discovered that only Biblical truth transforms our lives.
I did what Dr. Johnson and Dr. Loyd recommended and my life began to transform, but I could not break the subconscious mental and emotional programming that controlled my behavior. Then, I discovered a third prayer model from the “Seven Prayers that Heal the Heart” CD by Pastor Mark Verkler. These prayers transform generational issues, soul ties, negative beliefs, vows, word curses, trauma memories, and demonic attachments. I also learned from Kati Souza’s teaching CD’s on “Healing Soul Wounds” to address similar areas of healing. Her life experiences were wild and out of control, which led to incarceration.
I learned how I could change my wrong thinking and unhealthy reactions to stress from the book called Switch on Your Brain by Dr. Caroline Leaf. In her research, she discovered that what we consciously think and what we say and do comes from the information and memory images in the subconscious mind. And, in my quest to understand how a healthy person should think and act, I read Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. At the end of this guide, I have included an adapted summary of this book.
Ultimately, the Bible is the most important book to read for complete healing and transformation of our minds, hearts, and health. I turned many Bible truths into transforming prayers. Most verses are from the New American Standard Bible (NAS) and some from the New International Version (NIV). For the prayers in this guide to be effective, we need to have a right relationship with God, because He ultimately heals us.
Spiritual healing is the first step toward complete healing. Make sure you believe and confess that Jesus Christ is God the Son, who died to pay the debt for sin and forgives your sins and frees you from sins control (See Jn 1:29; 1 Jn 4:15; 1 Pet 1:18-19; Col 1:14; & Gal 5:1). When you confess this with your mouth and believe with your heart, then God the Holy Spirit comes into your heart and fills you with the love, life, and light of Jesus (See Gal 4:6 & 1 Cor 6:17). If you have not made this confession, then do it now to begin the healing process (See Rom 10:9-13 & Eph 2:1-10). The love of God the Father transforms you as you stay with Him and trust Him.
The reason the prayer models presented in this guide are effective is that much of what controls our thinking, behavior, and physical issues are in our subconscious mind, making it impossible to change. The cause, for which only God knows and can show us through prayer. This makes sense because when you get a new life (born again) through faith in Jesus Christ (1 Jn 5:1 & Jn 1:12), your trauma memories, unhealthy beliefs, and wrong thinking from your “old life” are not magically changed but are transformed (sanctified) by prayer and the truth of God’s Word; see Rom. 12:2; John 17:17; and I Peter 1:22.