#1 Destroyer of All Relationships and the Solution
Let’s explore the reasons people break off a relationship, quite a job, or divorce. When we know a cause then we can find a solution.
WORDS HAVE POWER—Part I: Overcoming The Destruction of Offensive Words
Have you ever considered the power of the spoken or written word? When someone says something hurtful, it creates an offense in our hearts.
WORDS HAVE POWER—PART II: Words produce death or life energy
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21a). The subject of words having power is not a new idea, but so often we forget that our words have power. What happens when someone says hurtful things to you? How do you respond? How about when someone encourages you? How does that make you feel? Words can cripple us or help us soar and accomplish great things.
HOW MEMORIES INFLUENCE OUR THINKING, EMOTIONS, AND BEHAVIOR
Dr. Caroline Leaf wrote the book, “Switch on Your Brain.” She researches how the brain works; you can YouTube her lectures. She discovered what we consciously think and what we say and do comes from the information and memory images in the unconscious mind that has been accumulating since our birth. These memories form the perceptual base through which we see life and react to stressful situations. She explained how we can change our thinking, and ultimately our reactions to stress.
HOW PRIDE DESTROYS
So why is pride a destructive force? Pride is more than feeling good when we accomplish something great. Arrogant or conceited pride keeps us from loving others well.
Freedom from the Spirit of Jealousy
Can a spirit control us? I say yes, based on my experience and observation. So, do we have an excuse for atrocious behavior or making wrong choices? No, because we still need to love God, others, and ourselves from a pure heart! So, if we have unloving behavior, then we need to look for the source.
Freedom from the Snares of Disrespect, Unworthiness, and Failure
Have you been disrespected, demeaned, and feel like a failure? Do you feel unworthy to be respected? Do you find yourself being disrespectful when others fail to meet your expectations or know someone who is disrespectful to you when you fail? Do you bad mouth people and treat them as lower than yourself? Do you feel unworthy of respect, or are you treating others as unworthy of respect? All bad behavior has a source.
PEACE—A Parenting and Marital Goal
What would it be like if our children lived in peace with each other and we had a peaceful marriage? Let us take a moment to imagine that the people in our lives are serene, tranquil, calm, undisturbed, friendly, kind, and helpful. How does this make you feel? Does this make you feel relaxed? Does this describe how you relate to people? Consider, with me, three causes that deprive us of peace and how to restore peace.
Minimize Memory Clutter
So, can our memories be mental clutter that keep us from being productive and stress free? I learned from Dr. Caroline Leaf that most of our memories are in our subconscious mind and we are not even aware of how much they are controlling our thinking.
DISCOVER UNRESOLVED NEGATIVE HEART ISSUES QUIZ
We all have unresolved childhood and negative heart issues because we live in an imperfect world. We are self-centered, and we live with self-centered people. So, we don’t know how to love well. Our negative heart issues are created by our perception of what others have done to hurt us and what we have done to hurt others.
Why is it hard to value others as more important or significant than ourselves? God put His finger on the core issue of my heart.
Healing our heart and purifying our soul has the following benefits.
- Allows us to make right and good moral choices.
- Allows us to seek God with a pure heart and be in right fellowship with Him.
- Reduces the negative stress on our bodies to allow physical healing.
- We will love others well.
List the current issues, problem, or concerns in your life. This is not a quick process, but one that is well worth your effort. Also, look for issues that control your life, such as addictions, anger, worry, and depression. You can take my quiz to discover childhood issues that may need healing: DISCOVER UNRESOLVED NEGATIVE HEART ISSUES QUIZ
What does kindness look like in action? God brought me back to the phrase, “grace in kindness.” Grace is getting what we don’t deserve and is demonstrated by God’s kindness towards us. Grace involves forgiveness.
The number one way to change your negative thoughts and negative mood is to be thankful. You may be thinking, no way, I can’t do that. Being thankful may be hard and sometimes impossible but with God all things are possible.
Most of our self-control issues stem from immaturity. Maturity is to be fully developed, perfected, and able to control our thoughts, emotions, and desires. To be mature, we must put away our childish thinking and childish ways.
When we become depressed and pouty, or angry and unkind, it is because we have become offended by a disappointment. Disappointment creates an offense when there is a real or perceived sense of unfairness, and you feel wounded. Dealing with disappointment in a healthy way will prevent becoming offended and resentful. So, if you currently become offended by disappointment when someone or something does not do what you want, it shows self-centered immaturity.
Abuse destroys a person’s well-being. The opposite of abuse is love and not just love for the sake of love but felt love. I care about your well-being and the well-being of your family, which is why I have written a lot of posts on how to have a healthy relationship.
In this post, you will learn why and how to change yourself before you can set healthy boundaries.