Have you experienced rejection, abandonment, hurt, criticisms, etc.?  If yes, then you need healing for past and present kindness issues.  In fact, unkind actions cause offenses in our hearts, which prevents us from being kind and loving others well. 

Read through the list below.If any of the negative issues, unhealthy beliefs, or behaviors on this list evokes a negative emotion, go back to 5–Finding Painful Memories and Healing Issues to identify the related painful memories.  Be sure to loose/put off the oppressive energies and spirits attached to each painful memory.  It is helpful to keep a prayer journal to track your healing.

Rejection: to refuse to accept someone or something; rebuff

Abandonment: to leave completely and finally; forsake utterly; desert

Hurt: to harm or damage in some way; cause mental distress or pain

Aggression:  an unprovoked attack

Antagonism: active opposition

Destructiveness: tearing down; criticism

Roughness: harsh; rude; unmannerly

Meanness: offensive, selfish, or unaccommodating; nasty; malicious

Vengefulness: return an injury for an injury

Neglect: not care for or attend to

Selfishness: devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one’s own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others

Criticism: to judge disapprovingly

Ostracism: banish, bar, shut out, etc.

Loose UNHEALTHY BELIEFS AND LIES—bind in the opposite

People will take advantage of me.  People are too sensitive.

If they knew me, they would hate me.  I don’t deserve kindness or anything else other than punishment and scorn.

Seeking kindness is like chasing my shadow.  I can’t catch it no matter what I do.  Unkindness, on the other hand, finds me automatically.

People who should have been kind to me weren’t.  I didn’t learn to be kind to myself or others.  I had lots of times when I could have been kind, but they don’t deserve it.

My fears are supposed to keep me safe, but they seal me off from receiving the kindness of others.

I must manipulate people into being kind to me.  I need their kindness, but I can’t share it with them.


Pray and bind/put on all the following attributes and truths to your mind and heart:

Gentle:  kindly; amiable; not severe, rough, or violent; mild

Empathetic: the identification with feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another

Friendly: like a friend; kind; helpful

Sympathetic: enter into another person’s mental state, feelings, emotions, etc.; pity or compassion

Generous: readiness or liberality in giving

Appreciative: to be grateful or thankful for


I can be kind to all and not quarrelsome, able to teach, patient when wronged, and not resentful.  2 Tim. 2:24

As God is kind to ungrateful and evil people so can I and my reward will be great. Luke 6:35; 1 Thes. 5:15

I can act with brotherly kindness and love.  2 Pet. 1:7

I can be kind to others, tender-hearted, and forgiving others, just as God in Christ also has forgiven me. Eph. 4:32

I will be blessed when I am kind and gracious to the needy, because it honors God, and He will repay/reward me for what I do. Prov. 14:21,31; 19:17

God is rich in mercy; because of His great love for me, He shows me the surpassing riches of His grace in His kindness to me. Eph. 2:4-7

Those who have been harsh with me were treated that way themselves.  I choose to forgive them and begin a cycle of kindness and compassion. Eph 4:32

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