Have you experienced rejection, abandonment, hurt, criticisms, etc.?  If yes, then you may need healing for past and present kindness issues.  In fact, all negative heart issues are rooted in real or perceived unkind words and actions.  Unkind words and actions cause offenses in our hearts, which then prevents us from being kind and loving to others. 

Post you may be interested in reading are:
Relationship and World Changing Kindness
#1 Destroyer of All Relationships and the Solution
WORDS HAVE POWER—Part I: Overcoming The Destruction of Offensive Words
WORDS HAVE POWER—PART II: Words Produce Death or Life Energy

Ask God to remove the spirit of pride and any deceptive spirits that would keep you from humbling yourself and hearing from Him. Confess and seek God’s forgivness for known sins so your prayers are not blocked.  All your prayers should include “In Jesus’ name” because John 14:14 says, “If you ask anything in my name, I will do it.”

For each negative behavior described below, ask the Holy Spirit to reveal the following things: (Write in your journal what He shows you. Be patient, you may have to wait until a picture or word comes to your mind.)

      • Related painful memory
          • past or present
          • your sin or another person’s unloving behavior
      •   Unhealthy beliefs.
      •   Word curses or vows.
      •   Your sinful reactions to the painful event that may have hurt or offended someone.
      •   Family history.

Recall the earliest or strongest memory of a time when you felt the same emotion(s) for each of the negative behaviors in the fruit focuses. It may be a memory of a general time period (i.e. birth, toddler, elementary, teens, etc.) or situation (i.e. death, sickness, divorce, etc.) in your life instead of one specific incident or actual event. Identify what is important about the time period or ongoing situation. List all the beliefs and any new feelings associated with that memory.

If you are angry at God for what happened, confess it and ask Him to take your angry emotions and resentment from you. I was mad at God and He still loved me, and He still loves you.

Negative Behavior

Rejection: to refuse to accept someone or something; rebuff.

Abandonment: to leave completely and finally; forsake utterly; desert.

Hurt: to harm or damage in some way; cause mental distress or pain.

Aggression:  an unprovoked attack.

Antagonism: active opposition.

Destructiveness: tearing down; criticism.

Roughness: harsh; rude; unmannerly.

Meanness: offensive, selfish, or unaccommodating; nasty; malicious.

Vengeful: return an injury for an injury.

Neglect: to not care for or attend to.

Selfishness: devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one’s own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.

Criticism: to judge disapprovingly.

Ostracism: banish, bar, shut out, etc.

Put off unhealthy beliefs and lies God shows you, then bind in a healthy or true belief. For example, if your unhealthy belief is, “People will take advantage of my kindness,” bind on a truth such as, “Kindness wins the favor of God and man. Love is kind and God wants me to love others.”

Pray the example prayer below for each issue the Holy Spirit reveals. As you pray, breathe deeply to release emotional stress and remain focused on the Holy Spirit’s presence. This prayer is not a formula but a guide. Fill in the blanks with the specific facts the Holy Spirit shows you. Writing out this prayer model helps you focus on the Holy Spirit’s leading, which will reveal other false/unhealthy beliefs or memories for the issue being healed.

If the issue you are dealing with is an offense from another person’s sin or weakness then pray from your heart:

Dear Lord, I forgive _(person’s name)_ for _(offense)_. I release the resentment and the power it has over me, in Jesus’ name. Forgive me. Lord, for _(sinful response to issue)_ and remove my guilt, in Jesus’ name.

Lord, thank You for helping me by Your grace and power to overcome the negative heart issue of ___. Please remove all oppressive spirits and negative emotions attached to the memory of ____, in Jesus’ name. By Your power and authority, I put off every related wrong thinking and unhealthy belief(s) of ____, in Jesus’ name. I bind to my mind, heart, and soul the following truths (from God’s Word):____.

Lord, I am thankful for how You _(protected, rescued, helped, provided for, guided, or comforted)_ me in this painful time in my life.

Lord, remove all generational sins, curses, or dysfunctions related to the issue of ___. Break exposed soul ties, word curses, and vows of ___.  Destroy all evil spirit attachments to _(negative issue)_, in Jesus’ name. Thank You for healing my soul and prospering me (3John 2). Amen

After you have prayed the prayer model, think about the issue again, and rate your discomfort from 0 to 10. If there isn’t an improvement, then ask the Holy Spirit to show you other facets of the issue that also needs healing. Wait for a word, thought, feeling, or vision. List all the beliefs and any other feelings associated with that memory.

KINDNESS ISPray and bind/put on all the following attributes and truths to your mind and heart:

Gentle:  kindly; amiable; not severe, rough, or violent; mild

Gentle: I am not harsh, demanding, or rude with anyone but kind and patient.

Empathetic: I can identify with the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.

Friendly: I am a friend to the unlovely; always kind and helpful.

Sympathetic: I can enter another person’s mental state, feelings, emotions, etc.; and show compassion.

Generous: I liberally give to others in need.

Appreciative: I am always thankful.


I can be kind to all, not quarrelsome, able to teach, patient when wronged, and not resentful (2Tim. 2:24).

God is kind to ungrateful and evil people, and so can I be kind to them.  And my reward will be great (Luke 6:35; 1Thes. 5:15).

I can act with brotherly kindness and love (2Pet. 1:7).

I can be kind to others, tender-hearted, and forgiving others, just as God in Christ also has forgiven me (Eph. 4:32).

I will be blessed when I am kind and gracious to the needy because it honors God, and He will repay/reward me for what I do (Prov. 14:21, 31; 19:17).

God is rich in mercy; because of His great love for me, He shows me the surpassing riches of His grace in His kindness to me (Eph. 2:4-7).

Those who have been harsh with me were treated that way themselves.  I choose to forgive them and begin a cycle of kindness and compassion (Eph. 4:32).

Copyright 2015

If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the link to my post and website with your friends and family, The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).