Have you experienced rejection, abandonment, hurt, criticisms, etc.? If yes, then you may need healing for past and present kindness issues. In fact, all negative heart issues are rooted in real or perceived unkind words and actions. Unkind words and actions cause offenses in our hearts, which then prevents us from being kind and loving to others.
Post you may be interested in reading are:
Relationship and World Changing Kindness
#1 Destroyer of All Relationships and the Solution
WORDS HAVE POWER—Part I: Overcoming The Destruction of Offensive Words
WORDS HAVE POWER—PART II: Words Produce Death or Life Energy
Ask God to remove pride and deceptive spirits that would keep you from humbling yourself and hearing from Him. Also, repent of your sins so your prayers are not blocked. All your prayers are to include “In Jesus’ name” because John 14:14 says, “If you ask anything in my name, I will do it.”
For each negative behavior described below, ask the Holy Spirit to reveal the following things: (Write in your journal what He shows you. Be patient, you may have to wait until a picture or word comes to your mind.)
- Related painful memory
- past or present
- your sin or another person’s unloving behavior
- Unhealthy beliefs.
- Word curses or vows.
- Your sinful reactions to the painful event that upset someone.
- Family history.
- Related painful memory
Recall the earliest or strongest memory of a time when you felt the same emotion(s) for each of the negative behaviors in the fruit focuses. It may be a memory of a general time-period (i.e. birth, toddler, elementary, teens, etc.) or situation (i.e. death, sickness, divorce, etc.) in your life instead of one specific incident or actual event. Identify what is important about the time-period or ongoing situation. List all the beliefs and any new feelings associated with that memory.
If you are angry at God for what happened, confess it and ask Him to take your angry emotions and resentment from you. I was mad at God and He still loved me, and He still loves you.
Rejection: to refuse to accept someone or something; rebuff
Abandonment: to leave completely and finally; forsake utterly; desert
Hurt: to harm or damage in some way; cause mental distress or pain
Aggression: an unprovoked attack
Antagonism: active opposition
Destructiveness: tearing down; criticism
Roughness: harsh; rude; unmannerly
Meanness: offensive, selfish, or unaccommodating; nasty; malicious
Vengefulness: return an injury for an injury
Neglect: not care for or attend to
Selfishness: devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one’s own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others
Criticism: to judge disapprovingly
Ostracism: banish, bar, shut out, etc.
Loose UNHEALTHY BELIEFS AND LIES and bind in the opposite
People will take advantage of my kindness. (Bind/put on the truth, “Kindness wins the favor of God and man.”)
Pray the example prescribed prayer below for each issue the Holy Spirit reveals. As you pray, breathe deeply to releases emotional stress and to remain focused on the the Holy Spirit’s flow. This prayer is not a formula but a guide. Fill in the blanks with the specific facts the Holy Spirit shows you. Writing out this prayer model helps you focus on the Holy Spirit flow, which will reveal other false/unhealthy beliefs or memories for the issue being healed.
If the issue you are dealing with is an offense from another person’s sin or weakness then pray from your heart:
Dear Lord, I forgive _(person’s name)_ for _(offense)_. Loose/put off the resentment and the power it has over me, in Jesus’ name. Forgive me. Lord, for _(sinful response to issue)_ and remove my guilt, in Jesus’ name.
Lord, thank You for helping me by Your grace and power to overcome the negative heart issue of ___. By the authority of Jesus Christ, loose and remove all oppressive spirits and negative emotions attached to the memory of ____, in Jesus’ name. By Your power and authority, I loose every related wrong thinking and unhealthy belief(s) of ____, in Jesus’ name. I put on/bind to my mind, heart, and soul the following truths:____.
Lord, I am thankful for how You _(protected, rescued, helped, provided for, guided, or comforted)_ me in this painful time in my life. Replace this painful memory with the vision of You loving me. (Take a moment and see God shielding you and holding you in your memory.)
Lord, loose and remove DNA markers for generational sins, curses, or dysfunctions related to the issue of ___. Break exposed soul ties, word curses, and vows of ___. And, destroy all evil spirit attachments to _(negative issue)_. In Jesus’ name. Amen
After you have prayed the prayer model, think about the issue again, and rate your discomfort from 0 to 10. If there isn’t an improvement, then ask the Holy Spirit to show you other facets of the issue that also needs healing. Wait for a word, thought, feeling, or vision. List all the beliefs and any other feelings associated with that memory.
KINDNESS IS… Pray and bind/put on all the following attributes and truths to your mind and heart:
Gentle: kindly; amiable; not severe, rough, or violent; mild
Empathetic: the identification with feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another
Friendly: like a friend; kind; helpful
Sympathetic: enter into another person’s mental state, feelings, emotions, etc.; pity or compassion
Generous: readiness or liberality in giving
Appreciative: to be grateful or thankful for
I can be kind to all and not quarrelsome, able to teach, patient when wronged, and not resentful. 2 Tim. 2:24
As God is kind to ungrateful and evil people, so can I. My reward will be great. Luke 6:35; 1 Thes. 5:15
I can act with brotherly kindness and love. 2 Pet. 1:7
I can be kind to others, tender-hearted, and forgiving others, just as God in Christ also has forgiven me. Eph. 4:32
I will be blessed when I am kind and gracious to the needy because it honors God, and He will repay/reward me for what I do. Prov. 14:21,31; 19:17
God is rich in mercy; because of His great love for me, He shows me the surpassing riches of His grace in His kindness to me. Eph. 2:4-7
Those who have been harsh with me were treated that way themselves. I choose to forgive them and begin a cycle of kindness and compassion. Eph 4:32
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P.S.: Experiencing lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).