Transforming Painful Memories to Heal Heart Issues
Healthy Thinking and Behaving from Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
Adapted Summary of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey
HABIT 1―Be Proactive
I can choose my response.
I am driven by values and truth, and I am not reactive.
I will not let the weaknesses of others control me.
I take the initiative and am responsible for making things happen.
I will use proactive language: “I choose.” “I control my own feelings.” “Let’s look at the alternatives.”
I will work on the things I can do something about, which is in my circle of influence.
I will BE more ……….. To change from the inside-out—to be different.
I choose to be thankful.
I will acknowledge mistakes instantly and correct them.
I will make and keep commitments and promises.
HABIT 2―Begin with the End in Mind
I will keep the end of my life clearly in my mind. What do I want others to say at my funeral.
I will make sure my life contributes each day in a meaningful way to the vision of my life.
I will use my unique human capacities of self-awareness, imagination, and conscience to examine old scripts and write new ones.
I will determine if my ladder is leaning against the right wall.
I will live out of my imagination instead of my memory.
I will tie myself to my limitless potential instead of my limiting past.
I will develop and use a personal mission statement which is based on correct principles.
I will be principle-centerednot spouse-centered, family-centered, money centered, work-centered, possession centered, pleasure-centered, friend centered, enemy centered, church-centered, or self-centered.
As a principle-centered person, I will try to stand apart from the emotion of the situation and from other factors that would act on me, and evaluate the options.
I will imagine myself practicing my personal mission statement.
I will define goals for each of my roles according to the principles in my mission statement to achieve a balance.
I will develop and use a family mission statement to improve my family and our response to crisis.
HABIT 3―Put First Things First
I will organize and execute around priorities.
I will not be problem-minded but opportunity-minded.
I will not react to the urgent but unimportant priorities of other people in Quadrant III or the pleasure of escaping to Quadrant IV.
I will think effectiveness with people and efficiency with things.
I will define my roles and goals for the week, then schedule those goals at the beginning of each week.
I will use stewardship delegation and focus on results instead of methods, or gofer delegation.
Building the Emotional Bank Account
I will make deposits into people’s emotional bank account through courtesy, kindness, honesty, and keeping my commitments.
I will listen and seek to understand.
I will let you feel my concern and acceptance.
I will show understanding and make deposits accordingly.
I will attend to the little things that are important.
I will keep my commitments and promises.
I will clarify expectations about roles and goals.
I will show personal integrity by being honest, keeping promises, being loyal to those present, and avoiding unwholesome speech.
I will apologize sincerely when I make a withdrawal.
I will see my children’s or people’s problems as an opportunity to build relationship instead of a negative, burdensome irritation.
HABIT 4―Think Win/Win
I will constantly seek mutual win/win benefits in all human interactions.
I will build my character through integrity, maturity, and abundance mentality, in which there is plenty out there for everybody.
I will be mature by expressing my feelings and convictions with courage, balanced with consideration for the feelings and convictions of others.
I will develop trust in my relationships with people by building up their emotional bank accounts.
I will write clear agreements that give definition and direction to a win/win situation. I will define the desired results, guidelines, resources, accountability, and consequences.
I will align all the supporting systems for win/win with the goals and values of my mission statement.
I will seek to understand, then give expression to the needs and concerns of the other party, as well as or better than they can themselves.
I will try to identify the key issues and concerns involved.
I will try to determine what results would constitute a fully acceptable solution. I will try to identify possible new options to achieve those results.
HABIT 5―Seek First To Understand, Then Be Understood
I will listen with the intent to understand and not reply.
I will try not to read my autobiography into other people’s lives.
I will get into the other person’s frame of reference, to see the world the way they see it and understand how they feel and thus give them “psychological air.”
I will not evaluate by either agreeing or disagreeing.
I will not probe with questions from my own frame of reference.
I will not advise or give counsel based on my own experience.
I will not interpret by trying to figure people out, to explain their motives, their behavior, based on my own motives and behavior.
I will rephrase the content and reflect the feeling.
I will value differences—to respect them, build on strengths, and compensate for weaknesses.
To create the ideal environment for synergy; I will build a high emotional bank account, think win/win, and seek first to understand.
I will appreciate the rich resources available through interaction with the hearts and minds of other human beings.
HABIT 7―Sharpen The Saw
I will find physical renewal by eating single ingredient foods (e.g. vegetables, nuts/seeds, beans, fruit, organic protein sources), getting sufficient rest and relaxation, and exercising on a regular basis.
I will find spiritual renewal in daily prayerful meditation.
I will find mental renewal as I read and educate myself. I will also write in a journal of my thoughts, experiences, insights, and learn to promote mental clarity, exactness, and context.
I will find social/emotional renewal by interacting with integrity toward the people around me. I will invest in their emotional bank accounts.