Are you discontent, feel helpless at times, overreact, and sometimes manipulate?  If yes, you need healing for past or present self-control problems.  In fact, the negative issues listed below create offenses in your heart, that impair your ability to be self-controlled, and love others well.

You may like to read the following posts:

Self-control and Maturity

The Link Between Disappointment, Resentment, and Self-control

How to be Self-controlled in What We Say (updated)

How to transform the Helpless Belief with Self-Control

Ask God to remove the spirit of pride and any deceptive spirits that would keep you from humbling yourself and hearing from Him. Confess and seek God’s forgiveness for known sins so your prayers are not blocked.  All your prayers should include “In Jesus’ name” because John 14:14 says, “If you ask anything in my name, I will do it.”

For each negative behavior described below, ask the Holy Spirit to reveal the following things: (Write in your journal what He shows you. Be patient, you may have to wait until a picture or word comes to your mind.)

      • Related painful memory
          • past or present
          • your sin or another person’s unloving behavior
      •   Unhealthy beliefs.
      •   Word curses or vows.
      •   Your sinful reactions to the painful event that may have hurt or offended someone.
      •   Family history.

Recall the earliest or strongest memory of a time when you felt the same emotion(s) for each of the negative behaviors in the fruit focuses. It may be a memory of a general time period (i.e. birth, toddler, elementary, teens, etc.) or situation (i.e. death, sickness, divorce, etc.) in your life instead of one specific incident or actual event. Identify what is important about the time period or ongoing situation. List all the beliefs and any new feelings associated with that memory.

If you are angry at God for what happened, confess it, and ask Him to take your angry emotions and resentment from you. I was mad at God, and He still loved me, and He still loves you.

Negative Behavior

Laziness: not eager or willing to work or exert oneself. (You or someone else may have said you are lazy, which is a word curse, and it caused a wound in your soul.)

Entitlement: deserving of special treatment with no return or responsibility.

Helplessness: without power to help oneself; feeble; weak; without protection; incompetent; inefficient.

Disconnectedness: to be separated; break the connection with someone.

Overreactive or over-sensitive: out-of-control emotions.

Defensiveness: feeling insecure and more anxious than seems warranted; not feeling safe; feeling attacked, paranoid.

Manipulation: manage or control by shrewd (artful, cunning; clever) use of influence for one’s own purposes or profit.

Put off unhealthy beliefs and lies God showed you, then bind in a healthy or true belief. For example, if your unhealthy belief is, “I can’t do it.” “I’m not capable.” “Others should do it for me.” “It’s not fair,” bind on, “I can do all things with God’s help.”

Pray the example prayer below for each issue the Holy Spirit reveals. As you pray, breathe deeply to release emotional stress and remain focused on the Holy Spirit’s leading. This prayer is not a formula but a guide. Fill in the blanks with the specific facts the Holy Spirit shows you. Writing out this prayer model helps you focus on the Holy Spirit’s presence, which will reveal other false/unhealthy beliefs or memories for the issue being healed.

If the issue you are dealing with is an offense from another person’s sin or weakness then pray from your heart: Dear Lord, I forgive _(person’s name)_ for _(offense)_. I release the resentment and the power it has over me and I bind to my heart peace and joy, in Jesus’ name. Forgive me, Lord, for _(sinful response to issue)_ and remove my guilt, in Jesus’ name.

Lord, thank You for helping me by Your grace and power to overcome the negative heart issue of ___. Please remove all oppressive spirits and negative emotions attached to the memory of ____, in Jesus’ name. By Your power and authority, I put off every related wrong thinking and unhealthy belief(s) of ____, in Jesus’ name. I bind to my mind, heart, and soul the following truths (from God’s Word):____.

Lord, I am thankful for how You _(protected, rescued, helped, provided for, guided, or comforted)_ me in this painful time in my life. (Take a moment and see God comforting and loving you in your memory.)

Lord, remove generational sins, curses, or dysfunctions related to the issue of ___. Break exposed soul ties, word curses, and vows of ___.  Destroy all evil spirit attachments to _(negative issue)_, in Jesus’ name. Thank You for healing my soul and prospering me (3John 2). Amen

After praying the prayer model, think about the issue again and rate your discomfort from 0 to 10. If there isn’t an improvement, then ask the Holy Spirit to show you other facets of the issue that needs healing. Wait for a word, thought, feeling, or vision. List all the beliefs and any additional feelings associated with that memory.

SELF-CONTROL ISPray and bind/put on all the following attributes and truths to your mind and heart:

Not reactive: With God’s help, I can control my emotions, desires, actions, etc. I am stable and not easily moved emotionally.

Diligent: I make a constant and earnest effort to accomplish what needs to be done. I am persistent in exerting my body and mind to meet my goals.

Moderate: I avoid excesses or extremes.

Feeling supported: I am approved, encouraged; helped, and comforted by God; therefore, I can be self-controlled and not seek attention or approval.

Connected: I fit in with God’s family and can associate with others in love. I can be self-restrained in what I say and not push people away.

Feeling Secure: I am free from fear, care, doubt, or anxiety; not worried, troubled, or apprehensive because of Jesus Christ in me.


With God’s help, I can be self-controlled and resist temptation, and I can say no to ungodliness and worldly desires (Titus 2:12; Pr. 25:28).

When I am self-controlled, I am temperate, worthy of respect, and sound in faith, in love, and in perseverance (I do not quit) (Titus 2:2).

Self-control is one quality of the Christian life I am developing, along with faith, moral excellence, knowledge, perseverance, godliness, kindness, and love.  I will increase these qualities in my life, so I am not useless nor unfruitful in the true knowledge of Christ Jesus.  As long as I practice these things, I will never stumble (2Pet. 1:5-10).

I can trust that God is in control of every circumstance for my good, and I do not lean on my understanding, so I have healing in my body (Prov. 3:5-8).

Self-control is one characteristic of the fruit of the Spirit.  Self-control is evident in my life when I walk by the Spirit and crucify my passions and evil desires daily (Gal. 5:22-25; Luke 9:23; Rom 6:6).

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P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).