Have you ever considered the power of the spoken or written word? When someone says something hurtful, it creates an offense in our hearts. A person’s words reveal the condition of their heart. Therefore, the person saying the hurtful words is also hurting from the offenses they have stored in their hearts from painful memories. This post explains how to overcome the power of offensive words and actions. But first, let’s review the power of words. Imagine how the progression below is influenced by negative words, then imagine how the progression is influenced by positive words.
Words (positive or negative) create the same thoughts.
Thoughts create feelings.
Feelings create beliefs.
Beliefs create attitudes.
Attitudes influence decisions for behavior.
Decisions directs the course of our life.
When people become offended, it is because the words or action triggered a painful memory of an unmet need or expectation. All of humanity struggles with being self-centered. For instance, someone does something to you or says something about you that was unloving; your first response is to think; that wasn’t right; I didn’t like that. Or you weren’t acknowledged for an achievement, or accepted into a group, or ignored, etc. So, when we become offended we open the door to the temptation to be angry, bitter, depressed, then to slander, gossip, and say hurtful things. Our thoughts and feelings become controlled by the offense, and we do and say hurtful things. Have you seen this happen?
The only way to overcome offensive words and actions is to forgive. I know this may sounds impossible to do, but it sets you free from the negative energy of hurtful words and the offenses in your heart. We rarely realize that we have taken an offense until hurtful or negative words spill out of our mouth. It happens to the best of us.
Sometimes though, you need to set boundaries for people who continue to spew hurtful words, after you have spoken to them about how their unloving words made you feel. You need not let their words control your thinking, feelings, beliefs, and attitude, which is hard to do, but possible when you are quick to forgive.
For example, I became offended by the words on an anniversary card my wonderful husband gave me. He did not intend to offend me, but when I explained why I was offended, he apologized and tried to make it right. Unfortunately, I allowed the offense to get into my heart and control my feelings, and I became miserable and said hurtful things. I’m sure no one else has done that.
When I had enough of feeling sorry for myself, I remembered that I needed to forgive the offense, even though it was not intentional. Then I asked God to forgive me for being hurtful, and to take the power of that memory and negative energy of the offense from my mind and heart. I felt so much better. So often relationships are ruined by hurtful words and holding onto offenses. I realized the quicker I forgave, the more love, peace, and joy I would experience, and the more love, peace, and joy others would experience when they were in my presence.
The anniversary card situation caused me to ask myself, why did that card offend me? I knew from my research that it had triggered a painful memory. So, I asked God to show me what the offense was. He showed me that I was still offended by a hurt from my first marriage. I went through the “Kindness Issues” worksheet on my website to release the offenses I was feeling. Next, I forgave my ex-husband for the hurtful words he had spoken to me, and I asked God to lose and remove the power of that memory and all negative energies from my mind and heart. I also applied the right thinking and truths from the “Joy” and “Peace Issues” worksheets to transform the feelings of hurt and anguish in my heart and mind. After going through the process of healing these negative heart issues, I felt so much peace and joy.
To learn more, please visit my site and read a short book I wrote about how I transformed many negative heart issues and discovered a new reality. 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories
Thank you for taking the time to read this post. I hope you found this helpful. May God Bless you richly.
To understand the power of forgiving, read: WHY SHOULD I FORGIVE
You may enjoy reading my next post called: WORDS HAVE POWER—PART II: Words produce death or life energy