Have you ever considered the power of the spoken or written word? When someone says something hurtful, it creates an offense in our hearts. A person’s words reveal the condition of their heart. Therefore, the person saying the hurtful words is also hurting from the offenses they have stored in their hearts from painful memories. This post explains how to overcome the power of offensive words and actions. But first, let’s review the power of words. Imagine how the progression below is influenced by negative words, then imagine how the progression is influenced by positive words.
Words (positive or negative) create like thoughts.
Thoughts create feelings.
Feelings create beliefs.
Beliefs create attitudes.
Attitudes influence decisions for behavior.
Decisions directs the course of our life.
Change the course of your life by changing your thoughts.
Often, when we become offended, it is because the words or action triggered a subconcious painful memory of an unmet need or expectation. Other times, we become offended because a selfish desire was not met or our pride was hurt. All of humanity struggles with being self-centered. For instance, someone does something to you or says something about you that you thought was unloving; your first response is to think; that wasn’t right; I didn’t like that. Or you weren’t acknowledged for an achievement, or accepted into a group, or ignored, etc., which hurt your pride. So, when we become offended, we open the door to the temptation to be angry, bitter, depressed, then to slander, gossip, and say hurtful things. Our thoughts and feelings become controlled by the offense, and we do and say hurtful things. To be free from the control of offenses, do the following three actions.
First, is to forgive, which may be hard to do, but it is to set you free from their control on your mind, not for them. Forgiving sets your mind free from the unseen control of negative energy from the hurtful words or actions. Forgiveness also releases the unseen control of negative energy from painful thoughts, so they don’t control our feelings and actions. Second, pray for the person who hurt you, because they are hurting. Praying generates positive energy, that gives you positive feelings and positive thoughts. And third, set your mind on the things of God by reading the Bible and transforming your thoughts to think His thoughts of love for yourself and others. The following post describes this process in detail: Thoughts That Create Peace Within and Without
Sometimes though, you need to set boundaries for people who continue to say abusive, hurtful words, after you have first spoken to them about how their unloving words affect you. You need not let their words control your thinking, feelings, beliefs, and attitude, which is hard to do, but possible when you are quick to forgive.
For example, I became offended by the words on an anniversary card my wonderful husband gave me. He did not intend to offend me, but when I explained why I was offended, he apologized and tried to make it right. Unfortunately, I allowed the offense to get into my heart and control my feelings, and I became miserable and said hurtful things. I’m sure no one else has done that.
When I had enough of feeling sorry for myself, I remembered that I needed to forgive the offense, even though it was not intentional. Then I asked God to forgive me for being hurtful, and to take the power of that memory and negative energy of the offense from my mind and heart. I felt so much better. So often relationships are ruined by hurtful words and holding onto offenses. I realized the quicker I forgave, the more love, peace, and joy I would experience, and the more love, peace, and joy others would experience when they were in my presence.
The anniversary card situation caused me to ask myself, why did that card offend me? I knew from my research that it had triggered a painful memory. So, I asked God to show me what the offense was. He showed me that I was still offended by a hurt from my first marriage. I went through the “Kindness Issues” worksheet on my website to release the offenses I was feeling. Next, I forgave my ex-husband for the hurtful words he had spoken to me, and I asked God to lose and remove the power of that memory and all negative energies from my mind and heart. I also applied the right thinking and truths from the “Joy” and “Peace Issues” worksheets to transform the feelings of hurt and anguish in my heart and mind. After going through the process of healing these negative heart issues, I felt so much peace and joy.
To learn more, please visit my site and read a short book I wrote about how I transformed many negative heart issues and discovered a new reality. 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories
Thank you for taking the time to read this post. I hope you found this helpful. May God Bless you richly.
To understand the power of forgiving, read: WHY SHOULD I FORGIVE
You may enjoy reading my next post called: WORDS HAVE POWER—PART II: Words produce death or life energy