Are there people who make you miserable? Do you have a hard time living in peace with family members, co-workers, or even church members? Are you triggered when someone challenges you or disrespects you?
Peace is a hallmark of someone who does not let people and situations affect them emotionally. How can someone do that? I admire those who stay calm and can be rational with those who are angry and dysfunctional. I have always reacted negatively to those who were mean to me, which is human nature. I often become anxious when situations are outside my control. In this post, you will learn the ten ways to stay above chaotic people and situations that affect your mental health.
I grew up in a very angry home, where fights were the norm every day. I never had peace or joy in my life, even when I lived alone, because my mental health was affected by the chaos of my past. Then I married an abusive man, who antagonized me with constant threats and put-downs. The fights were horrendous because my old tapes replayed in my mind. I desperately wanted to feel valued and loved. Have you ever noticed that where there is love in the home, there is also peace and joy? Where there is respect, there is peace and cooperation.
First, Deal With Your Own Peace Issues.
You can’t live in peace with others if your mind and heart are filled with conflicting emotions from past trauma and painful memories. When I worked through my peace issues, I became emotionally stable. I am a completely different person today, and as I continue to work through peace issues, I can now separate myself from the emotions of another person and not let them bother me. For example, a woman who is contentious came up to me on several occasions and spoke in an unkind way. I was able to smile and listen to her and not react out of my past insecurity tapes. That is when I knew I had victory and could live in peace with anyone. The other way you know you are living in peace is if you don’t repeat the matter and gossip. Not being triggered by other people’s weaknesses is the victory we are to strive for.
Peace is as big an issue as love is to God. Matthew 5:9 states, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.” Peacemakers are not people pleasers, but they make peace with those who are controversial. And Hebrews 12:14 states, “Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord.” Striving means to work hard for. People who make an effort to live in peace with those around them are also holy. Holiness is having a pure heart and living in perfect, harmonious union with God and people. Holiness is a huge topic that I will not cover in this post. Please read my posts about why and how to purify your heart and soul. WHY HEAL YOUR HEART AND PURIFY YOUR SOUL? and Five Steps to Heal Your Heart and Purify Your Soul.
Second, Give the Circumstances to God and be Thankful.
It is hard to have peace when the world around you is falling apart, or your health is falling apart, or your family is falling apart. God wants you to cast your cares and anxieties on Him because He cares for you (1Peter 5:7). The devil is looking for a chance to steal your peace and joy, through chaos. Overcome the devil by keeping your faith and eyes on Jesus (1Peter 5:8-9). In John 16:33, Jesus says, “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.”
Being thankful is another way to keep peace in your heart despite your circumstances (Phil. 4:6-7 and 1Thes. 5:16-18). For example, you get a flat tire and you are late for an appointment. Before you get upset, thank God for his protection and for giving you a sound mind to know what to do. Ask God to help you and keep your mind on God’s perfect will being accomplished in the situation. It is amazing how being thankful helps you maintain a sound mind.
How to Respond to Those in Opposition.
I came across Second Timothy 2:22-26, which offers insight into how to live in peace with difficult people. In today’s politically divided world, we have ample opportunity to practice living in peace. Romans 12:18 states, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”
22) So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. When we were young, we would take everything personally. If someone didn’t do what we wanted, we would get angry. If they snubbed us, we would get angry, and so on. Now we are to put away our youthful passions and childish thinking and love others (1Cor. 13:4-11). We must now pursue (strive for) righteousness, faith, love, and peace.
23) Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. We are all familiar with foolish, ignorant controversies, so I won’t describe them here. If you know an issue is controversial, do not become emotionally engaged with it. As I said earlier, when you are at peace in your own mind, then you will be at peace with others. No one ever wins a quarrel, which is why Satan baits us to quarrel with each other. The definition of quarrel is a cause of dispute, complaint, or hostile feeling (dictionary.com 2025). Quarreling destroys relationships.
24-26) And the Lord’s servant must
A. not be quarrelsome
B. (be) kind to everyone,
C. able to teach,
D. patiently enduring evil (trouble, Rom 12:12),
E. correcting his (or her) opponents with gentleness.
God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.
Conclusion
The ten ways to live in peace are:
- Deal with your peace issues to eliminate the triggers that cause emotional upset from other people’s rude unkindness.
- Pray and give all your troubles and concerns to God.
- Be thankful in every circumstance, even those that are stressful.
- Strive for and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace.
- Do not quarrel.
- Show kindness.
- Teach the truth.
- Be patient.
- Gently correct those in opposition.
- Set your mind on the things of God and purify your heart.
1Thessalonians 5:23 states, “Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
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