Can a spirit control us? I say yes, based on my experience and observation. So, do we have an excuse for atrocious behavior or making wrong choices? No, because we still need to love God, others, and ourselves from a pure heart! So, if we have unloving behavior, then we need to look for the source. For example, at a family gathering, I became emotional because I felt discounted and said things I should not have said. I was embarrassed by my reaction, so I asked God to reveal the source of why I became emotional. He showed me I had a spirit of jealousy (Numbers 5:13, 30; Ezekiel 8:3). I discovered that corrupt spirits attach themselves to memories of being offended by unloving actions or unkind words. In my case, God revealed I was jealous of my younger sister. I cannot remember specific memories as I was to young, but I do remember being angry with her our entire childhood.
Being a twin meant I already had to share my parent’s attention and care. Then, thirteen months later, my second sister was born, which meant I had to share my parent’s love and attention with two other needy beings. Unfortunately, my new sister was born with a disorder and was hospitalized often. This meant that she received more attention than I did. Even babies and toddlers can be offended when their perceived needs are not met, especially for love and attention. Humans have a natural need to love and to be loved. So, because I had to share my parents attention with my two sisters, I understand how I became offended and how the spirit of jealousy attached to my soul. This spirit controlled my reactions when I thought I was being discounted. Have you ever felt discounted?
Furthermore, on my website (chapter 3 of my book), I describe how I became free from the mental strongholds of injustice and unfairness and how they protected the wrong beliefs and behavior of being impatient. Consider the following, when something unfair happens to us as a result of another person’s advantage over us, then jealousy naturally occurs. As a result, we become resentful towards that person, which displays itself through anger. For example, someone gets VIP treatment because of their high position in the company, and you are sent to the back of the line. Or, someone gets a better parking space because they have more money. Or, your spouse gives their attention to someone else. Have you ever experienced this? The next time you get irritated, ask God why you are getting irritated. You may have a jealous spirit. I never thought I had a jealous spirit until God showed it to me.
Thankfully, God is all knowing and knows everything about us, and He alone can reveal repressed memories and unhealthy beliefs. God showed me I had developed the unhealthy belief that my sister was the favorite and received preferential treatment. Because of my resentment towards my sister’s advantage over me, I mistreated her, which caused her to fight back, which then lead to my punishment. So, I believed I was being unfairly punished for things she did or instigated, which caused me to resent my sister more. Another unhealthy belief was being unlovable and feeling worthless. Consequently, from early childhood, I tried to earn my parents attention and love by working hard and doing things for them, such as, cleaning the basement and garage. In the same way, doing work for people’s attention and approval carried into my adulthood. Therefore, my sense of worth was based on what I did and what people thought of the quality of my work. I was freed from this mental stronghold as well. Do you feel you have to please people to get their love and attention and to feel accepted and wanted? Do you have a sibling you feel was favored, maybe they were a better athlete or had better grades? Do you have a co-worker that receives more privileges because they are favored by the boss?
After learning the source of my jealousy, I asked God to lose and remove the memories of being offended (not getting the love and attention I wanted) and to remove the spirit of jealousy from my soul. I then replaced my wrong beliefs with the truth. For example, the truth is my mother did love me, but it was overwhelming to take care of my sick sister. Another reality was the fact that it was not my sister’s will to be sick, she could not help it, and I can show her compassion. Then, I sought forgiveness for my spiteful behavior. Now when I think of the current situation that revealed my jealous spirit, I no longer get upset. You can learn more about how to heal memories and transform unhealthy beliefs with truth by reading my short transformation testimony book on my website, hopeforcompletehealing.com.