Do you find yourself being sad a lot or feeling humiliation and shame?

Do you find yourself overreacting or being impatient a lot?

Do you find yourself being anxious and worried a lot?

Are you sensitive when people let you down or do you want to control people and situations?

Do you feel disappointed a lot and feel no one cares?

Do you crave acceptance and feel you are a people pleaser and need people’s approval?

Do you tend to judge people and circumstances?

Do you have uncontrollable angry outbursts?

Do you find yourself often doing things to escape loneliness and discontentment?

Do you have feelings of guilt and not liking yourself?

Do you like your harmful desire(s) and action(s) too much, even though they are destructive?

Do you find you need to lie sometimes to protect yourself or to manipulate a desired outcome?

Do you find yourself having a lot of health problems and mental distresses?

Do you find yourself being immobilized by fear that prevents you from being able to reason logically?

If you answered “yes” to even ONE of these questions, then you have unresolved childhood issues in that area. Unresolved childhood issues affect all of our relationships, and you know if they exist by paying attention to your thoughts and reactions. I encourage you to keep a diary of your thoughts and reactions for one month. Then in a chart, break out the different negative thoughts you had so you can see them plainly. In another chart, break out the negative behaviors you recorded, like “…angry with my husband for not putting the dishes away” or “was impatient with my co-worker when she made a mistake,” etc. Next, read each chapter of my healing book in this website, so you understand why we have unresolved childhood issues and how to resolve them. Working through your unresolved childhood issues will take time, but it is well worth the time. I have seen incredible results in my life, marriage, family, and workplace relationships. I am constantly referring to the “issues” work pages in this website to resolve the negative issues from my past when I see their effect in my present life. For example, I realized I felt disconnected from my friends and family, so I thought about my childhood and realized that both my father and mother had disconnected emotionally from me. Their emotional disconnection from me made me feel unloved so I emotionally disconnect from them to block the pain of feeling unloved. This reaction carried over into all my relationships, including my relationship with God. I went through the steps for resolving issues, and I now feel more emotionally connected to my husband, and I was able to mentally process disappointment when he did not do what I expected. I am also aware of emotional disconnection issues with other relationships that also need to be resolved. Resolving childhood issues takes time, but you do it so you can love with a pure heart.

Author: Joyce Holzman Hanscom

I am working with the women in the county jail to transform their painful memories and negative heart issues so they can make good decisions. I am also a Sunday School and Bible teacher, trained initially as a computer science teacher.

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