We all have unresolved childhood and negative heart issues because we live in an imperfect world. We are self-centered, and we live with self-centered people. So, we don’t know how to love well. Our negative heart issues are created by our perception of what others have done to hurt us and what we have done to hurt others.
For example, I realized I felt disconnected from my friends and family, so I thought about my childhood and realized that both my father and mother had disconnected emotionally from me and from each other. Their emotional disconnection from me made me feel unloved, so I emotionally disconnect from them to block the pain of feeling unloved. This reaction carried over into all my relationships, including my relationship with God. I went through the steps for resolving negative heart issues, and I now feel more emotionally connected to my husband, family, and friends. I am now able to mentally process disappointment when my husband does not do what I expect. I am also aware of emotional disconnection issues with other relationships that also need to be resolved.
The following questions will help you discover your unresolved childhood and negative heart issues that have created negative heart issues.
1. Do you have uncontrollable angry outbursts when people do things you don’t like (i.e., people don’t drive correctly or someone does not meet your expectation)?
2. Do you crave acceptance and feel you are a people pleaser and need people’s approval?
3. Do you have feelings of guilt for things you have done and do not like yourself?
4. Are you jealous or envious of someone’s advantage or position in the family or at work?
5. Do you insist on having things your way or live with someone who insists on having things their way?
6. Do you have feelings of displeasure or indignation at some act, remark, or person?
7. Are you sad and feel despair most of the time?
8. Do you find yourself often doing things to escape loneliness and discontentment?
9. Do you have low expectations of people; that is, you are despondent and feel no hope?
10. Do you feel like you have no worth because others have treated you or still do treat you as not having worth?
11. Do you complain and express dissatisfaction often or have you been the recipient?
12. Do you feel humiliation and shame?
13. Are you often anxious and worried?
14. Are you immobilized by fear that prevents you from being able to reason logically?
15. Do you feel tense and nervous in certain situations and around certain people?
16. Do you feel agitated with someone because they offended you by something they did, did not do, said, or did not say?
17. Have you experienced strife?
18. Do unfair actions upset you?
19. Are you frustrated or impatient when your expectations are not met or is someone frustrated or impatient with you?
20. Do you have unrealistic expectations or does someone have unrealistic expectations of you?
21. Do you find yourself irritated a lot or is someone often irritated with you?
22. Have you been neglected, abandoned, or rejected or have you done the same to someone?
23. Have you been hurt by someone who was mean, rude, or rough toward you or have you been mean, rude, or rough to someone?
24. Have you been vengeful or has someone been vindictive toward you?
25. Do you tend to judge people and circumstances?
26. Do you feel guilt from the things you have done?
27. Has someone made you feel inadequate and devalued or have you done the same to someone.
28. Do you find yourself being self-centered and do not want to sacrifice for others?
29. Do you feel disappointed when your desires are not met and feel no one cares?
30. Do you find you need to lie sometimes to protect yourself or to manipulate the desired outcome and what people think?
31. Have you been a recipient of someone who has lied about you?
32. Do you feel betrayed, victimized, or deceived or have you done this to someone?
33. Are you defiant or sometimes resist or challenge authority?
34. Do you feel you cannot trust others or place your confidence in others?
35. Do you have chronic health problems and mental distresses?
36. Have you been known to brag and dismiss people because you feel better than them or has this been done to you?
37. Do you sometimes condemn others by strongly disapproving or has someone done this to you?
38. Do you sometimes feel foolish or contemptible and have no dignity?
39. Are you rough and impatient at times or has someone been rough and impatient with you?
40. Are you sensitive when people let you down and do you want to control people and situations?
41. Do you like your harmful desire(s) and action(s) too much, even though they are destructive?
42. Do you feel disconnected with family and friends?
43. Are you not willing to work or exert yourself and feel you deserve special treatment or has someone told this to you?
44. Do you overreact during stressful circumstances?
45. Do you try to control and manipulate people and situations or has this been done to you?
If you answered “yes” to even ONE of these questions, then you have unresolved childhood issues in that area. To begin discovering a new reality for your life start here: 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories