Tag: Blessing

THE DOWNSIDE OF LISTENING EMPATHETICALLY

When you emphatically listen and understand the perspective of the other person, does it drain you? Are you tempted to judge the other person because they think and feel differently from you? Or do you take on their pain and burdens? These are the downsides of empathetic listening. We build trust when we make the other person feel valued and understood. But you may need to set boundaries when the person only wants to be understood and does not want to understand your perspective. Or the other person just wants to unload their emotional garbage on you. If that is the case, you will need to kindly set boundaries and help them seek the assistance of a professional counselor. 

Read my last post on how to empathetically listen to develop win/win agreements. Some people want you to understand them, but do not want to have a win/win agreement with you. Being able to express your feelings gives you psychological air, but it may be overwhelming to the other person. Also, if you are the person who feels they are not understood or valued, ask God why you have that need. It could be that you need to work through painful memories of not being understood as a child or teenager. If that is the case, then read my online book to resolve those painful memories first. 

If you are the person who demands to be understood, that is not healthy because you depend on another person for validation instead of turning to God for help with your problems. Meditate on the following Scripture: Jeremiah 17:5-8 states, “Thus says the LORD: ‘Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the LORD. 6) He is like a shrub in the desert and shall not see any good come. He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness, in an uninhabited salt land.’  7) ‘Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose trust is the LORD.  8) He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.‘” Only God can truly meet your need to be understood and validated. He knows every detail about your life, and He wants you to cast your cares on Him, and He will cause it to be for your good (Rom. 8:27-28). 

The Purpose of Empathy. 

Empathetic listening is only effective when both parties are working towards a win-win agreement and are both mentally healthy seeking mutual benefits. If you are the type of person who cares too much and then becomes burdened by empathetic listening, put the cares of the other person into your God’s got-it box, and lose it from your memory. You may become offended and judge the people who hurt your loved one or friend; forgive them and put your resentment into your God’s got it box.  Be cautious not to judge others and say hurtful things. Empathy is supposed to develop compassion, not judgement. Jesus showed empathy and compassion to those around Him, and He blessed them.  

Jesus told the parable about the Samaritan man who came across a man who had been robbed and beaten. The religious people judged him and passed by him, but the Samaritan had compassion and helped him (Luke 10:29-37). Sometimes the people we work with, or family members are messy and mentally beat up. They need our compassion. Matthew 9:36 states, “When he [Jesus] saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.” And Matthew 14:14 states, “When he went ashore he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion on them and healed their sick.” 

Do you Bless or Curse When You Understand. 

How can we be a blessing to someone or be a curse?  Do our words encourage or discourage? Listening with empathy is a blessing to the person with whom you want to have a healthy relationship. Being blessed is being encouraged and made joyful.  We are blessed when someone is kind to us or is patient and gives us grace when we need it.  To be cursed is to be made miserable and rejected by the hurtful, judgmental words of other people who should have loved you. So, you close your heart, so it won’t be hurt again. Closing your heart is a mental health problem because you are also closing out meaningful and loving relationships. Our words are the most common way we bless or curse God and each other. Read my post called: WORDS HAVE POWER—Part I: Overcoming The Destruction of Offensive Words 

Another type of curse that causes misery are word curses put on us by family members, teachers, and those who hate us. Word curses are negative directives, such as you will never succeed. Or you lack discipline and will never be able to lose weight. We also put word curses on ourselves. I became free from many curses, and I encourage you to read my short book on my website to know what word curses are and how you can become free, too. Many times, we bring curses on ourselves when we do not trust and obey God. If you struggle to trust God, you may have false beliefs that prevent you from trusting God. I encourage you to read my short book to be free from these unhealthy beliefs. Go to Hopeforcompletehealing.com 

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All verses are from the English Standard Version. If you find my posts and website helpful, please share this link with your friends and family: hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected. Please do not reproduce any part of the posts or my book without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom and this website. 

My latest book, Unlocking God’s Promises, explains 18 categories of relevant promises to each of our lives. It also includes the promises in Psalm 91.

If you find this website helpful, you will like to read Breaking Mental Strongholds, available on Amazon. 

Additionally, consider my book Fighting Unseen Battles, found on Amazon.  To learn more about my book, read: How to Fight Unseen Battles. I would love to hear what you think so please leave a review. 

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com and ask for a PDF of Eight Life-Changing Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, the 23rd Psalm, and victory. I will also send you the Lord’s Prayer Model to pray effectively. Please leave your name, so I know you are a real person making the request. 

THE MYSTERY OF WISDOM—PART 2

What is the correlation between wisdom and the fear of God? Can a worldly person who does not fear God be wise? In the last post, we learned that wisdom is a mystery. We also learned that it is better to have wisdom than gold, silver, and jewels and we need to seek it by seeking God because He is the one that gives wisdom. Lastly, we learned the difference between a wise and worldly person.

As I prayed and asked God to give me a greater understanding of wisdom, I saw in scripture that wisdom is linked with the fear of God and understanding. Why? Here are a few scriptures that outline the relationship between wisdom, understanding, knowledge, and the fear of God.

First, what is the fear of God?

The fear of the Lord is to have deep respect, love, and awe for God that you want to do the following:

1. Praise Him. Psalms 22:23 states, “You who fear the Lord, praise Him! …glorify Him, and stand in awe of Him, …”

2.  Serve Him. 1 Samuel 12:24 states, “Only fear the Lord and serve Him faithfully with all your heart. For consider what great things He has done for you.”

3. Trust Him. Psalms 115:11 also states; “You who fear the LORD, trust in the LORD! He is their help and their shield.”

4. Obey Him. Deuteronomy 10:12-13 states, “And now, Israel, what does the LORD your God require of you, but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, 13and to keep [obey] the commandments and statutes of the LORD, which I am commanding you today for your good?”

5. Turn from evil. Proverbs 8:13 states, “The fear of the LORD is hatred of evil. Pride and arrogance and the way of evil and perverted speech I hate.” When you sin, you do evil because sin is disobeying God. God commands us to love others as He loves them. Evil people do not love others, but they do and say things to harm or cause trouble for people (Webster

Correlation between fear of God, wisdom, understanding, and knowledge.

Psalm 111:10 states, “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; all those who practice it have a good understanding. His praise endures forever!” We need to practice, that is do something over and over to become good at it. Understanding means several things. Dictionary.com (2022) says understanding is a mental process of a person who comprehends; has a superior power of discernment; enlightened intelligence, etc. Job 28:28 states, “And he [God] said to man, ‘Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom, and to turn away from evil is understanding.’”

Proverbs 1:7 states, “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge [of God]; fools despise wisdom and instruction.” And, Psalm 14:1 states, “The fool says in his heart, ‘There is no God.’ They are corrupt, they do abominable deeds; there is none who does good.” Based on these last two verses, a worldly person, who does not fear God, cannot be wise because their hearts are evil and not good. Because Proverbs 9:10-12 states, “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight. 11For by me [God] your days will be multiplied, and years will be added to your life.

What are the benefits of fearing God?

  1. God’s angel protects you, and you will be blessed, and you will lack nothing. Psalms 34:7-9 states, “The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and delivers them. 8) Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! 9) Oh, fear the LORD, you his saints, for those who fear him have no lack!”
  2. God will help you and shield you from all harm. Psalm 115:11 states, “You who fear the LORD, trust in the LORD! He is their help and their shield.” Proverbs 19:23 “The fear of the LORD leads to life, and whoever has it rests satisfied; he will not be visited by harm.”
  3. You will have confidence and you will feel safe. Proverb 14:26 states, “In the fear of the LORD is strong confidence: and His children shall have a place of refuge.”
  4. You will have wisdom and know what to do. Psalms 111:10 states, “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; all those who practice it have a good understanding.”
  5. You will have a long life. Proverbs 10:27 “The fear of the LORD prolongs life, but the years of the wicked will be short.”
  6. You will have healing. Proverbs 3:7-8 states, “Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil. 8) It will be healing to your flesh (body; NAS) and refreshment to your bones.”
  7. You will be blessed. Proverbs 28:14 states, “Blessed is the one who fears the LORD always, but whoever hardens his heart will fall into calamity (the pit).”
  8. It will go well with you. 1Samual 12:14 states, “If you will fear the LORD and serve him and obey his voice and not rebel against the commandment of the LORD, and if both you and the king who reigns over you will follow the LORD your God, it will be well.”
  9. You will have riches, honor, and life. Proverbs 22:4 states, “The reward for humility and fear of the LORD is riches and honor and life.” Is this something you would like? Read “How Pride Destroys” Pride keeps you from being in awe of God and submitting to His authority and turning from your sin.

Fearing God is easy when you keep your mind focused on seeking first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. See the blog post called How do you seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness? for more details. Job 12:13 states, “With God are wisdom and might; he has counsel and understanding.”

Conclusion:

Proverbs 2:1-5 sums up this post, “My son [daughter], if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, 2making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; 3yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, 4if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, 5then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God. The key to getting wisdom is to intentionally seek it. You need the fear of God to have wisdom, understanding, and to know God, but you won’t understand the fear of God and find knowledge until you seek to understand and desire wisdom. Do you fear God by obeying Him and turning from your evil desires (lusts)? Are you praising God and trusting Him to give you wisdom?

Mystery of Wisdom–Part 3

All verses are from the English Standard Bible. If you find my posts and website helpful, please share this link with your friends and family; hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected, and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom and this website.

Check out my second book called Fighting Unseen Battles on Amazon. I would love to hear what you think. To learn more about my book, read: How to Fight Unseen Battles.