Breaking Childhood Rejection and Insignificance Strongholds.

Rejection in my life began before I was born. My mother found out she was pregnant while attending nursing school, and had to quit and marry my father. Then she was alone in a navy hospital for about three months before my twin sister and I were born. No one came to visit her and my father was out to sea. Then my father was discharged from the Navy so he could take care of his new family. My mother was very unhappy with my father, because he was very irresponsible. I learned this when I found letters she wrote to my grandmother, which revealed a lot about how she was feeling and what was happening at the time I was born.

Thirteen months later another sister was born, who had a lot of health problems. Not only did I have to share my mother with my twin sister, but now I had to compete with another sibling. The spirit of rejection took a stronger hold on my mind. My classmates then rejected me because my family was very poor, and I wore hand-me-down cloths and had lunch tickets. The stronghold of loneliness took hold, and I became withdrawn and escaped into my dreams and watching TV. My mother was angry and depressed because of the spirit of rejection on her from my father and her childhood. Though my mother tried to love us, I never felt loved, which damaged my self-worth. I became dysfunctional in my ability to relate to people, and I could not love or trust other people.

The lies created by rejection and protected by the rejection stronghold.

Satan, who hates mankind and God, will cause children to feel rejected as early as he can to reinforce the stronghold of insignificance, and to keep them in bondage to insecurity. Satan knows that rejection damages our perception of ourselves, other people, and situations. For instance, have you ever felt rejected when you perceived someone excluding you but they weren’t? When you have the spirit of rejection, then you feel rejected when someone does not do what you expect, or does not agree with you, etc.

The first step to removing the spirit of rejection in our lives is to acknowledge its existence. Barbara Taylor, whose book From Rejection to Acceptance has helped many understand and cope with their feelings of being unloved. She wrote on page 48, “Until I was honest enough to admit there was a problem, I had no reason to seek help from God or man. More serious than this was the fact that until I saw the problem was with me, I was convinced that the whole world around me had the problem.” Taylor also lists five lies planted in a child’s mind, each one building on the other:

“I am not loved.”

“I must be unworthy of love.”

“I must perform to win love.”

“If I cannot properly perform, I will be ultimately rejected.”

“If I am rejected, then I must compensate for this rejection.”

?? Have you had any of these lies listed above in your heart and mind?

Damaged love tanks in marriage.

We all desire to feel significant, to be accepted and approved, and we shun rejection. When a person does not feel loved, they do not feel valued, and it damages their self-worth. So, the most painful emotions we store in our hearts are feelings of not being loved, valued, and accepted. Everyone’s love tank is damaged by unkind actions and words. God is love and He created us to love and be loved.

As adults, we expect imperfect people, who have equally damaged love tanks, to love us. So, when two people try to get love but can’t reciprocate love, then they become resentful and angry toward each other. This happened in my first marriage. Only God can love us perfectly, and only God can restore and heal our damaged love issues. The problem with this truth is when a person has a spirit of rejection on them, they also feel God is rejecting them, especially when their prayers go unanswered. So, the key to a healthy marriage is to heal our damaged love tanks and fill it with God’s love.

Getting self-worth from other people’s approval and transform unhealthy beliefs.

As an adult, when I perceived rejection in any form, whether it was rejecting something I said or did, I would become offended and say hurtful things. Even when people did not think as highly of me as I did, I felt rejected. Yes, I was prideful, and I felt I did not deserve to be rejected. This dysfunctional thinking and behavior affected my relationship with my family, and created a spirit of rejection in their lives.

The Holy Spirit showed me that it was a sin to find my significance in what I do, and my worth in people’s opinions. Satan tempts us to focus on other people’s opinions of us to keep us in bondage to getting our value from the approval of people. Our significance and worth come from God and His purpose for us. I repented and reprogram my mind to believe that it only matters what God thinks of me and not what unregenerate people thought of me. We need to understand that people’s opinions are based on their insecurities and damaged self-worth. So, if we are depending on other damaged people to give us worth, then we will remain feeling unloved and insignificant.

In prayer, I loosed and put off the unhealthy beliefs that I need approval to feel valued, and people have to accept me to give me a sense of worth. Then I put in to my heart the truth that God loves and accepts me because I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior and became a child of God, which gives me incredible worth and significance. I transformed my beliefs with the following truths. “I can be kind to people who do not value me because I know they have a damaged love tank.” (See Luke 6:35; 1 Thes. 5:15.) “I can receive God’s kindness and love and know that He will not reject me.” “I will live with God for eternity, so I will seek first His kingdom and find my self-worth in His love, peace, joy, and righteousness.” (Read Matt. 6:33; Rom. 14:17.)

Transforming unhealthy beliefs about my self-worth.

Do you believe your worth is in what you do, who you know, how much money and possessions you have, and in what others think of you? I believed the lie that I needed to be important and have significance to have worth. I believed I needed to be in control to feel important. I believed the lie that I needed to be successful to have significance, so I unknowingly rejected anyone who got in my way. In prayer, I loosed and put out of my mind these unhealthy beliefs and repented of these sins. Once my unhealthy beliefs were transformed by truth, I loosed and put off the negative emotional energy from the painful memories of rejection. After I worked through the healing process to eliminate my painful memories through forgiveness, unhealthy beliefs, and the stronghold of rejection, insignificance, and loneliness in my life, I became emotionally stable.

What I learned. The negative opinions that people have about you do not represent the truth, but reflect their damaged emotions and insecurities. When you try to get your worth from other people, from what you own, or from what you do, you will be disappointed and discouraged. Your worth is found in knowing and serving God. So, keep your mind on Jesus and what He thinks of you. Turn every disappointment in your life into a prayer, rejoicing in Jesus, and being thankful in all circumstances (1Thes. 5:16-18).

Hope in God to heal your negative heart issues. Read Psalm 139 to learn what God thinks of you. My book called “Hope for Complete Healing” explains in more detail how to be free from many other unhealthy beliefs and strongholds. 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

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How You May Be an Enemy of God.

These are very strong words. I do not want to be an enemy of God because I know what God can do to His enemies, and I want to be on His blessing side, do you? James 4:4 explains how we can become an enemy of God;

You adulterous (unfaithful) people!

Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God?

Therefore, whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.

Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”?

Do you want to be an enemy of God?

We all know how adultery destroys a marriage. So adultery with the world destroys your relationship with God. Friendship with the world looks different for each of us. Nonetheless, friendship with the world is when you desire the pleasures of the world to please yourself more than you desire the presence of God and to please Him. To know if you are worldly-minded, pray and put off pride, humbly draw near to God, and ask Him to show you. Also, read Unseen Battle With The Secular World.

You can’t love the world, or the things of the world and love God as described in James 4:4. There is no middle ground; you are either humbly submitted to God or pridefully submitted to the world. You cannot stand firm in your faith if you continue to do the things of the world and think worldly thoughts. Galatians 5:17 states, “For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for they are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.” And, Romans 8:7-8, explains, “For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. 8) Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.” The one thing that pleases God is faith. Hebrews 11:6 states, “And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.”

How does our faith please God?

By faith, we believe and seek first what God wants, just as a soldier believes in his commander and wants to do what pleases them. 2Timothy 2:4 states, “No soldier gets entangled in civilian pursuits since his aim is to please the one who enlisted him.” To be entangled means to twist together, so that disengagement is difficult. To avoid getting entangled we are to do what Jesus encourages us to in Matthew 6:33Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness.” Seeking the kingdom of God is not easy as explained in Matthew 7:13-14 which says, “Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. 14) For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.” As Christians, we are to be single-minded and focused on our pursuit to stay on the narrow path and please God. The world’s enticements lead you down the wide path to destruction. The Apostle John tells us in 1John 2:17, “And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.”

What are the world’s enticements?

The world’s enticements most often come from the media. You must guard your mind against viewing, reading, and listening to media that glorify evil. The next two verses are good to pray and resolve to do. Psalms 119:37 states, “Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things (vanity); and give me life in Your ways.” Something worthless is useless and without value. Vanity is having no real value or significance. Psalms 101:3-4 states, “I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless (vile). I hate the work of those who fall away; it shall not cling to me. 4) A perverse heart shall be far from me; I will know nothing of evil.”

In the MKJV, it states, “I will set no wicked thing before my eyes. I have hated the work of those who turn aside; it shall not hold on to me. 4) A perverse heart will depart from me; I will not know the wicked.

In the NAS, it states, “I will set no worthless thing before my eyes; I hate the work of those who fall away; It shall not fasten its grip on me. 4) A perverse heart shall depart from me; I will know no evil.”

Mark 12:30 states, “And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” If you love God this way, would you allow anything vile (evil; wicked; depraved; sinful; repulsive; disgusting) and perverse (not considered right or acceptable) to enter your mind? Do you love God to the point where you will know nothing of evil? Remember, evil is something morally wrong and wicked that causes pain or trouble. Evil is compared with death and good is compared with life in Deuteronomy 30:15, which states “See, I have set before you today life and good, death and evil.” This tells me, I can choose life and good and not death and evil. Romans 12:19b states “Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.” Psalm 34:14, also states, “Turn away from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.” 3John 1:11 states, “Beloved, do not imitate evil but imitate good. Whoever does good is from God; whoever does evil has not seen God.” So, it makes sense that those who do evil have not seen God because God is good and when we invite Him into our hearts, we will naturally want to be good. Would you agree?

After reading Deuteronomy 30:15, I realize I need to choose life by choosing good things that benefit me and bring glory to God. When you allow worthless, vile, and evil things into your mind, it will stain your conscience and cause death by separating you from God, who gives life. James 1:27b says to “keep oneself unstained from the world.” All forms of ungodly media entice believers to conform to the world’s standards of deception, revenge, sexual immorality, hate, etc. I challenge you to make a mental note of the worldly messages you receive from video games, advertisements, TV shows (especially soap-operas), movies, or the internet. Do the messages glorify God? Do the messages entice you to glorify yourself? Or do the messages glorify the world’s standards of ungodliness?

Think for a moment. If the people creating the entertainment have not submitted their minds to God to bring Him glory, then their foolish, evil thoughts are directing their actions and creativity. Worldly entertainment deceives you into thinking that foolishness and evil are acceptable when the goal is to enslave you in sinful thoughts and actions. Ask yourself, is what I’m taking into my mind drawing me closer to God or drawing me closer to vain worldly thinking and sin?

Are you an enemy of God in your thinking and actions?

Do you seek and love God or do you seek and love the things of the world?

Is your focus on living by faith and pleasing God or would you rather have the pleasures of the world?

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What is Wrong with Fairness?

Let’s face it, everyone wants fairness. So what is fair? Fair is when you are free from bias. Bias is a feeling or opinion that is preconceived and may be unreasonable. The problem with fairness is what I think is fair may not be fair to you. Everyone perceives fairness according to their bias. A bias to abolish or defund the police is an example of an unreasonable opinion.  How is it fair for those who want protection from criminals; to live in peace and not in fear?  This is just one example.

Life is not fair.

When you were a child, how often did you say, “that is not fair,” and your parents said, “life is not fair”? What you think is fair may not be what someone else thinks is fair. Why is this? The reason; each of us has a bias and different expectations. I may expect my husband to dust the bedroom because it is fair that he helps out. He thinks it is not fair because he thinks it is my job. Does he have a bias that women do the housework? Why? Where do biases come from? The scenarios are endless. You can never get rid of biases. I had to go through bias training at work to help us be aware of our bias so we do not let bias control our decisions. Is this even possible?

How fairness issues affect your beliefs.

I have an unreasonable desire for fairness. For example, when I think I am doing more work than someone else, I become resentful because I believe the workload should be shared equally. The problem with this unhealthy belief or expectation is whose perception of equal is right? However, it is not unreasonable to expect other people to help out with the workload and to share the responsibility.

I am guilty of sin because I am to serve, not be served. Mark 10:45 states, “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” And Philippians 2:3-7, which states,

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant (important) than yourselves. 4) Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others. 5) Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.”

The sin of pride is the reason I don’t want to serve and consider other people’s interests because I believe my interests are more important. To overcome this wrong belief, I must first repent (crucify my pridefulness) by asking God to take the spirit of pride and the unrealistic expectation for fairness from my mind. I also, need to loose/put off the false beliefs that everything has to be fair, and my interests are more important. Next, I ask God to heal the painful memories of perceived unfair actions done against me and the offenses I harbored in my heart. Read my short book on how to heal painful memories: 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

Then, I ask God to forgive me for complaining and saying hurtful things. I apologized for my self-centered, critical attitude, and I forgave the other person for their unkind reactions. Forgiveness is a key step in healing our wounded spirit. Now, I must transform my wrong thinking with the truth of God’s Word and be thankful. Being thankful changes a resentful attitude to a winning attitude. Read my post called A POWERFUL MOOD CHANGER.

Exchange bias with truth and obey God’s instructions.

I transformed my unhealthy expectation for fairness with the truth that I am to be a servant as Jesus Christ was and consider the interests of others as more significant. Not that my interests are not significant, but I need to think less of myself and love others with agape love. Agape love is a self-sacrificial love that expects nothing in return and frees you from the bondage of fairness. Christ’s love for us is a sacrificial love. I bind/put on the truth that I will receive a reward from God for the good I do (see Galatians 6:9; Ephesians 6:8; Colossians 1:10; Titus 2:14; 3:8; Hebrews 13:16; and 1 Peter 3:16.) Read my last two posts on goodness: Part 1: How to Achieve Genuine Goodness? and Part 2: How to Overcome Evil with Good.

You cannot stop your bias thoughts by will power. But you can, by prayer, verbally take authority and loose/put off every deceptive or biased thought and replace them with truthful thoughts from God’s Word. Discipline your mind to think thoughts that are true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and worthy of praise (see Philippians 4:8). Memorizing Scripture is an effective way to put truth into your mind. Last, practice the truth by doing the instructions of God until they become part of your natural reaction that changes your bias for pleasing yourself to serving others with love. Galatians 5:13 states, “For you were called to freedom. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.”

Do you have a bent toward fairness?

Do you serve others and expect nothing in return?

How can you serve with agape love and put aside your own interests?

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Part 2: How to Overcome Evil with Good.

In my last post, we learned about what it means to be good.  In this post, you will learn how to overcome the evil that prevents you from being and doing good. So what is evil?  According to Webster, the term evil means bad; wicked; depraved (corrupt; perverted) and causing pain or trouble. Evil causes damage to every human being’s soul. People who are influenced by evil spirits are all around us, and they are bent on destruction, especially toward vulnerable children.  We can overcome the evil done to us with good. Romans 12:21 states, “Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good.”

Why are people evil?

What is the origin of evil?  To understand the origin, first know we coexist within an unseen spirit world, which comprises of Almighty God, ministering angels, the lying devil (ruler of demons), and destructive demons (evil spirits). God is the all-powerful, omnipotent, omniscient Spirit (see John 4:24 and 2 Cor. 3:17) who is good, loving, just, gracious, merciful, and the creator of all that we see. He called all that He created good (see Genesis 1; Nehemiah 9:6; and Isaiah 40:28).  Though we don’t see God because He is a spirit, the evidence of His existence is all around us in beauty and power.  To learn more read my post called, Four Realities of the Spirit World.

The devil tries to pervert all that God said is good. In John 10:10 Jesus states, “The thief [Satan] comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” Satan is the great enemy of man and goodness. He is called the deceiver (see Rev. 12:9-12), father of lies and a murderer (see John 8:44).  He is the destroyer called Abaddon in Hebrew and Apollyon in Greek, which translates as “destroyer or to destroy” (see Rev. 9:11). Webster dictionary says the devil is a slanderer; the chief evil spirit, a supernatural being subordinate to, and the foe of God and the tempter of man.

The Apostle Paul wrote to the Ephesian church in Ephesians 6:12For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood [humans], but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” These evil forces want to harm us and draw us away from the truth of God’s Word.  They also want to destroy love because God is love. The spiritual forces of evil put wrong thoughts, doubts, and unhealthy beliefs into our minds (see Isaiah 55:6-7), which are lies about ourselves, others, and God.  These wrong thoughts cause us to act in evil ways.  And they tempt us to sin, which then separates us from God (see Isaiah 59:1-3).

So, what is sin? Sin is the breaking of a moral (right and pure) principles of the Bible, especially through a willful act of disobedience. For example, Deuteronomy 9:18, 1 Kings 16:19, and 1 Samuel 15:23 explain how sin is doing evil, and that evil is rebellion toward God.  Also, 2 Chronicles 12:14 states, “And he did evil, for he did not set his heart to seek the LORD.” Therefore, seeking the Lord God and being in right standing with Him through Jesus Christ is the only way to overcome evil, and the evil done to us. So, doing good is to obey the instructions of God (Deuteronomy 12:28) through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Painful memories of evil keep people from doing or being good?

  • Memories of shame for the wrong things done.
  • Memories of guilt for hurting others or doing wrong.
  • Memories of the unfair actions done against you that still make you feel angry.
  • Memories of people or yourself being self-centered keeps you focused on meeting your own needs instead of being helpful to others or sharing with those in need.

Painful memories keep you stuck in hurtful patterns of behavior. A man who went to jail for molesting his sons said he couldn’t help it because he was molested when he was a boy.  Unfortunately, the man claimed to be a Christian, but because of his painful memories, his heart was filled with the evil done against him. Jesus said to the religious people in Matthew 12:34-35, “You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. 35) The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil.”  Are your speech and actions hurtful or helpful? Are your thoughts focused on good things or things you do not like? If you are honest, your answer will reveal the condition of your heart.  To learn more about your thoughts visit, POSTS on Thoughts.

The book on my website helps you find your painful memories and unhealthy beliefs so you can be healed and love well. If you do not heal these painful memories, then they will control your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and behavior. Only God can heal our memories, but we have to humbly submit them to Him and allow Him to transform them. God will help you remove anger, shame, and guilt from your heart so the goodness of God can overcome the unseen evil of your heart.

How can we overcome evil and do good?

  1. Watch what you put in your mind. The mind determines what you think, perceive, feel, and believe, which then influences your decisions and behaviors. Evil fills our hearts when we take in evil actions from secular media (TV, movies, books, magazines, internet sites, etc.), that glorify evil such as harming people, causing trouble, death, and sexual immorality.  These evil images and words cause impure thoughts. that encourages evil actions.  So to overcome evil thoughts from secular media, ask God to remove them and then fill your mind with good thoughts of helping and serving others or improving the lives of those around you.
  2. Renew your mind. Renewing your mind is the process of putting off your old way of thinking that wants to please your selfish desires and putting on the new way of thinking that seeks to help and serve other people.  Romans 8:5-6 states, “For those who live according to the flesh (sin nature) set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. 6) For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.” To learn more about this process read, Forgiven and Saved? Now Renew Your Mind (Part One) and Three Steps to Renew Your Mind (Part Two)
  3. Daily yield your mind to God’s love and goodness so the devil will not tempt you to do evil. God’s will for you is merciful, good, and perfect. When we submit to God and obey Him, the devil will flee from us (see James 4:7-8). And, when we are submitted to God and draw near to Him, then we can do good, otherwise, the devil will have his way in our lives, and we will do evil. We will either do the good work God prepared for us or the evil work the devil wants us to do.  To learn how I submitted to God read: Why, What, and How to Submit to God and be FREE

Conclusion

Only God is good, and we can only be good by the power of the Holy Spirit, which I explain in my last post Part 1: How to Achieve Genuine Goodness?.  When God heals the painful memories of the evil done against you, He will fill your heart with love and goodness. Then you can do good works to help others with no alternative motive. Keep in mind that we coexist with evil spirits all around us, who also influences our minds to think evil thoughts through secular media.  What you submit your mind to is the path you will walk.

If you would like to know my story and how I overcame my wounds from evil done against me, read: WHAT IS INNER LIFE TRANSFORMATION? My Story

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1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

 

 

Unanswered Prayer? Are You Presentable?

If you were to appear before a King or Ruler of a Nation and was given the chance to ask him or her to do something, how would you dress and act? Take a moment and visualize it. Would you be humbled, cleaned up, neat, polite, be conscious of customs as to not offend, etc.? Now, how is that different than coming before the King of the Universe in prayer? Do you think you can come before Him in pride and with an unrepentant, filthy heart and demand Him to give you what you want?

To continue the simple illustration of electricity. If prayer is the power cord and faith is the action of plugging into the power source, then hope is the expectation the power source will deliver results. So, if a lamp is plugged in but does not turn on, then you need to look for the reason. We know we are plugged into God through the Holy Spirit that dwells in us when we believe in Jesus Christ and received forgiveness of our sins.  One way our prayers are short-circuited is from unrepentant sin.

Reason Four: Unrepentant Sin short-circuits our prayers.

We cannot approach a Holy God in prayer if we are not presentable by having unrepented sin in our lives. What is sin? Sin is disobedience to the commands of God to love Him by keeping His commands and to love one another. Sin is knowing the right thing to do and not doing it (James 4:17). The following verses explain why prayers are not answered because of unrepentant sin.

Psalms 66:18 states, “If I regard wickedness (sin) in my heart, the Lord will not hear;”

Isaiah 59:1,2 states, “Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear.  2) But your iniquities (sin) have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden His face from you so that He will not hear.

1Peter 3:12 also says, “For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

Psalms 34:14-18 explains, “Turn away from evil (to harm) and do good; seek peace and pursue it. 15) The eyes of the LORD are toward the righteous and his ears toward their cry. 16) The face of the LORD is against those who do evil, to cut off the memory of them from the earth. 17) When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. 18) The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

Unrepentant sin includes not forgiving those who sinned against you because God instructs us to forgive. Matthew 5:23, 24, states, “So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First, be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” If you struggle forgiving those who did evil against you, please read my post on why we should forgive.

Wayne Jackson writes in “6 Reasons Why Some Prayers Are Never Answered” on ChristianCourier.com. “If you know that someone has a legitimate grievance against you, how can you sincerely approach God in prayer? Uncorrected problems with brethren are extremely detrimental. Peter certainly stressed that discordant home relationships could hinder prayers (1 Pet. 3:7). Where domestic wrangling and bitterness prevail, prayer can never be effective.” What do you think? Would you agree?

Solve the problem of sin through repentance and the work of Christ on the cross.

1John 1:9 states, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Pastor Darryl Baker writes in “Abiding in the Word” blog, “Because of what Christ did in bearing our sin and the punishment of our sin, we no longer need to live fearful of approaching our heavenly Father. The sin that separated us is gone and we can now approach God with complete confidence. So as a believer we should daily draw near to Him and He will draw near to us. Don’t ever run from God, run to Him. If you have sinned repent, and run back to the Father for He awaits with arms open wide to help you get back on your feet again.” And he writes, “It is the devil who tries to keep us from approaching God by making us afraid to do so through wrong thoughts. Scripture teaches us to come boldly to the throne of grace, to find grace and help in our time of need. God is waiting to help us overcome whatever we may be dealing with in life, but we must draw near to Him to get that help. The door is open so don’t ever run from Him. He is your answer, He is your deliverer, He wants to help you; and most importantly He wants you to know Him.”  I agree, but we need to come before Him with a repentant and humble spirit.

Hebrews 4:14-16 states, “Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession.

15) For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. 

16) Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

James 4:6-8 says, “But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.‘ 7) Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8) Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.”

These verses are the theme verses for my county jail Bible study. I have the women memorize them. One inmate return because her roommate had alcohol in the apartment which meant she broke her probation. When she came to the Bible Study, she was excited to still be able to quote the verses above from memory. I encourage you to memorize Hebrews 4:14-16 and James 4:6-8.

Conclusion:

God is loving, merciful, gracious, and slow to anger. Psalm 103:8 states, “The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.” He is also Holy and Just, Isaiah 5:16 states, “But the LORD of hosts is exalted in justice, and the Holy God shows Himself holy in righteousness.” So, we need to approach Him with humility and with repentance if we want him to hear our petitions.

RELATED POSTS

HOW TO PRAY USING THE LORD’S PRAYER AS A MODEL

Reasons One and Two Why Prayer Is Not Answered

Unanswered Prayer—Reason Three

How to Recognize and Eliminate Emotional Cancer


All verses are from the English Standard Bible.  If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S., experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

Unanswered Prayer? Are You Connected?

Nothing is more discouraging to our faith than not getting what we pray or hope for. The first two reasons why God may not give what you ask for are: 1) God may not be your Father and 2) what you are asking for may not be good.  Read Reasons One and Two Why Prayer Is Not Answered.

Now, if you know for certain that God is your Father, and you believe what you are asking for is good in the sight of God, then do you only pray when you are desperate or need something? Humans were created for relationships, and because we are made in the image of God, He wants a relationship with us.  A healthy relationship requires spending time and talking with those we love. So, the third reason why you may not be getting results from your prayers is not being in a  healthy relationship with God.

For example, if a lamp is not plugged into a power source the lamp will not produce light. By faith, you plug in a lamp to an outlet and expect the light to come on.  For the light to work, it needs to stay connected to the power source. Staying connected to God is to remain in Him. Are you always plugged into God and the Bible?

John 15:7 states, “If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.”

  1. Are you abiding in God and are His words abiding in you?

Abide means to remain in something. We abide in God in the same way we rest in a place of shelter. When we abide in God, we trust He will protect us and provide for us. We remain in the shelter of God by faith through continual prayer with thanksgiving, praise, and pondering Scriptural truths.

Psalm 91:1 states, “He who dwells in the shelter (secret place) of the Most High will abide (rest) in the shadow of the Almighty.” Read my post called Psalm 91:1–How to Dwell in Heaven Now to learn more about how to abide in heaven with God.

When we pray with thanksgiving, praising God, and ponder Scripture, then our spirit draws near to Him, and He promises to draw near to us (see James 4:8). Do you only pray to Him and read your Bible in church on Sunday morning and maybe Wednesday night service?  Do you say a nightly prayer after spending the day worrying or doing and thinking about worldly things?  If your answer is yes, then you are not abiding in God.

Do you abide in God’s Word by reading it every day and memorizing it? If not, resolve to begin today.  The mornings are the best time to read the Bible so you can meditate on what you read throughout the day.  Writing out a key verse and reviewing it throughout the day will help you stay connected to God. 2 John 1:9 states, “Everyone who goes on ahead and does not abide in the teaching of Christ does not have God (in their hearts). Whoever abides in the teaching has both the Father and the Son.”

How do I know if I am abiding in God?

1John 3:18-24 explains how you know if you are abiding in God.

18) Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.

19) By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him;

20) for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything.

21) Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God;

22) and whatever we ask we receive from him because we keep his commandments and do what pleases him.

23) And this is his commandment, that we believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us.

24) Whoever keeps his commandments abides in God, and God in him. And by this, we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit whom he has given us.

Do you love your brothers and sisters in Christ?  Do you want to know if you have resentment towards anyone, then read How to Recognize and Eliminate Emotional Cancer.

If you have a hard time loving people, then read Love From a Pure Heart to become free to love others well.  1Corinthians 13:13 states, “So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” 1John 3:17 explains, “But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees a brother (Christian brother or sister) in need, yet closes his heart against them, how does God’s love abide in him?

Conclusion

Prayer is our connection to the living, almighty God, and is the channel through which we receive power, wisdom, direction, and healing. Prayer is not only asking for things. You must remain in connection with God through continual prayer with thanksgiving by faith, reading His Word, and loving your brothers and sisters in Christ. If your heart does not condemn you then you have the confidence to be connected to God. Ephesians 3:11and 12 states, “This was according to the eternal purpose that he has realized in Christ Jesus our Lord, in whom we have boldness and access with confidence through our faith in him.

RELATED POSTS:

How We Know God Will Never Forsake Us?

HOW TO PRAY USING THE LORD’S PRAYER AS A MODEL

If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

 

How to Recognize and Eliminate Emotional Cancer

Emotional cancer stays hidden deep in your heart even when you think you are okay. It is infectious and spreads into other areas of your life, and it destroys your peace, joy, and righteousness (spiritual right thinking). God gave me this revelation last week when it was triggered by an email. It was hidden, and I didn’t realize I had it until it was triggered.

How did I discover I had emotional cancer?

Last week I received a layoff notice. I accept that I am getting laid off because of the hardship placed on the University from the COVID-19 pandemic, and I have a peace that God will provide for my needs and lead me to another job. In my last post, I describe how I was processing this difficult news and how I felt betrayed by the Department Head because she told us that all our jobs are secure and that everyone matters to her. So when I received an email from her, wanting to know when she could chat (her words), I became anxious, and for a lack of a better word, I felt this unsettling “grrrrr” inside my soul. I felt like the cat on my home page. Do you know that feeling?

I had forgiven her and put off my negative beliefs and turned it over to God, and I was doing good. So I thought. So, I read two of my blogs called “Being Thankful During Hard Times” and “Caution—How to Get Out of The Pit,” and they both helped me change my wrong thinking and refocus again on God’s promises. I didn’t know why I felt offended when I saw her email until I read a blog post about grief where the writer wrote about the need to tell your story and not to allow your grief to turn into resentment. As soon as I read the word “resentment,” I realized why I was still upset, it was resentment for being, well, betrayed.

What is resentment and how do we develop this emotional cancer?

The dictionary defines resentment as a feeling of indignation and showing displeasure toward a person, from a sense of being injured or offended by some act, remark, insult, etc. I felt injured by my Department Head and became offended. A person who has resentment will show anger and ill will for any real or perceived wrong or injury, which they believe is unfair. Resentments build up and grow in your heart throughout your life. These painful memories cause negative thinking and false beliefs, which continue to feed our resentment. When this emotional cancer is not exposed and healed, it leads to bitterness and hate. Job 7:11 states, “Therefore I will not restrain my mouth; I will speak in the anguish of my spirit; I will complain in the bitterness of my soul.” A bitter person only focuses on their pain and it prevents them from maturing. Have you noticed that the older a person gets, the more bitter they become? When my mother got dementia and could not remember her painful memories, she became a very pleasant, peaceful person for the first time in her life. Read, “Hope for Lasting Peace, Love, and Victory” to learn more.

How to know you have resentment.

Read the following questions. If you answer yes to any one of them, you have hidden resentment.

  • Do you complain about someone or something?
  • Do you dread being around a certain person?
  • When you hear a person’s name do you feel irritated with that person?
  • Do you feel something is unfair or someone was unfair to you?
  • Do you become depressed and pouty, or angry and unkind when you are disappointed?
  • Do you feel jealous or envious of someone because of that person’s rivalry, success, or advantages?
  • Do you feel hurt by something someone did or said?
  • Do you recognize you do not have peace, joy, and right thinking?

Why is feeling offended a sign you have the emotional cancer of resentment?

Most people do not realize they have offenses in their hearts. So be mindful of how you answer the questions in the previous section. When you experience emotional pain and displeasure from an unkind act, unfairness, mistreatment, disrespect, betrayal, unacceptance, and being ignored it creates a painful memory and an offense in your heart. Disappointment also creates a painful memory and causes us to be offended because we are not getting what we want and we feel it is unfair. Once you are offended, the seed of resentment is planted. We will always have disappointment, so resolving to maintain a forgiving and thankful attitude will prevent us from becoming offended and resentful. This is why it is essential to discipline your mind to stay on heavenly promises. Read how to develop heavenly thinking in the posts called Can You Be Too Heavenly Minded? and How to experience a heavenly life on earth.

Recall your last argument or the last time you were frustrated or disappointed. Using the definition of an offense, can you identify what you or the other person was offended about? Once you discover the cause of the offense, then you can work to solve it and heal the emotional cancer of resentment. My book called “Hope for Complete Healing” on my website identifies many causes for offense and the solution. I encourage you to read it so you can love well and have peace, joy, and right thinking. Also, read, “#1 Destroyer of All Relationships and the Solution” for a better understanding of how destructive being offended is.

How do I eliminate resentment?

I recommend the following actions. First, capture the offending thoughts by acknowledging they exist. The evidence is not feeling peace, joy, and thinking the right thoughts. Second, once you acknowledge you are offended, then ask God to show you why you are offended. Third, forgive the person or persons involved. You may have to accept the situation you are disappointed by and trust God’s promises. Fourth, ask God to remove the wrong thinking and false beliefs about the situation and then to take out the seed of resentment sown in your heart. You don’t know you have resentment until it sprouts and takes root in your heart. So as soon as you realize you are offended by a perceived unfairness that causes disappointment, then immediately ask God to remove the seed of resentment before it causes problems.  If resentment is left go, it will become bitterness and hate, at which point, the emotional cancer is at stage 4. Hebrews12:15 tells us to “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.” Please read the Five Steps to Heal Your Heart and Purify Your Soul for the prayer model, you can pray to eliminate offenses and resentments.

Conclusion:

You now know that emotional cancer is resentment and how it develops in your heart. I ask some questions to help you uncover the hidden resentments you may have. The key indicator you have this cancer is feeling offended. Eliminating emotional cancer is not easy but is necessary so it does not spread and affect your decisions and relationships. There is hope for healing resentment in your life, but you first need to ask God to expose it for Him to heal it. Jeremiah 17:9-10 says, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? 10) I the LORD search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.


If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the link to my post and website with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

RELATED POSTS

Love from a Pure Heart

WHY HEAL YOUR HEART AND PURIFY YOUR SOUL?

The Link Between Disappointment, Resentment, and Self-control

Why Should I Forgive?

How Patience is a Sign of Maturity

Did you pray for patience, then went through difficulties? Or, do frustrating things happen all the time, but now you realize you need more patience?  So, why is patience so hard and why do difficulties increase patience? You can determine your level of patience by making a note of how you react to other drivers on the road.  I was over-reactive and impatient with everyone, including myself. And driving was very stressful for me.  This post explains why you can’t be patient, why you should be patient, and how you can be patient.

I learned that mature people are patient because they are not self-centered.  They know that getting upset when something doesn’t go as planned does not change anything, except create stress.  And mature people understand life is not fair so they accept it and choose to live in peace.

When we can’t be patient.

  1. You can’t be patient when you believe something is unfair, especially when suffering an unjust wrong. Can you remember a time when you protested that something was unfair? When you felt this, you developed an offense to the unfair treatment or event. It could be a discipline you felt was unfair, the death of someone close to you, not getting what you asked for, etc.  That offense created a painful memory you may have forgotten about.  The painful memory still exists and has created unhealthy beliefs that cause you to over-react or become frustrated and irritated when an event happens that triggers unhealthy beliefs.  To heal those painful memories, read my short book on my website: 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories
  2. You can’t be patient when you are not at peace with yourself or others because you are offended.  Read: Hope for Lasting Peace, Love, and Victory
  3. You can’t be patient if you are self-centered? Pride thwarts patience because pride wants to be in control of what happens.  Prideful people do not think they have to wait, be inconvenienced, or endure hardships.  Read my posts on pride to learn more: The Core Negative Heart Issue and HOW PRIDE DESTROYS

Why be Patient?

  1. Be patient to reduce stress in your life and stress in those around you. Have you been around an impatient person?  Did you feel stress?  For example, waiting in a long line or waiting in a traffic jam can test your patience.  If you get upset and frustrated, will that help the line move faster?  No, it only increases your blood pressure and the blood pressure of those waiting in the same line. Stress causes health problems in you and the surrounding people.
  2. Be patient and hopeful and do not worry because you know God will act on your behalf and do miracles. When you get impatient because something is not happening fast enough, you become anxious, which causes physiological stress that then affects your health.
  3. Be patient and eliminate strife. When you are not patient, you will say and do unkind things.  Read: Relationship and World Changing Kindness
  4. Be patient because love is patient (see 1Corinthians 13:4). When you are patient with other people, it shows you love them. God tells us to love others as Jesus loves them and as we would want them to love us.  Ephesians 4:2 states, “with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,”  Notice, being patient means we bear with others.  When you bear with others, you are self-controlled when subjected to annoyance or provocation, which requires humility and gentleness.  Read my posts on self-control to learn more: Self-control and Maturity and How to be Self-controlled in What We Say
  5. Patience is the fruit of the Spirit. Therefore, patience is a sign of a mature Christian who yields to the work of the Holy Spirit through the trials and hardships of life.  Thankfulness is evidence of patience.  Read: Being Thankful During Hardships
  6. Be patient because Jesus is patient. 1Timothy 1:16 states, “But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life.” So, we too are called to be patient (see Romans 12:12; 1Theselonians 5:14; James 5:7; and James 5:8 states, “You also, be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand.

How to be Patient.

  1. Webster defines being patient as the bearing (enduring) of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, or irritation. Are you patient according to this definition? If not, go through the Patience Issues Worksheet and the chapter called “Finding Painful Memories” to heal the painful memories and unhealthy beliefs, so you can be mature and patient.
  2. Acknowledge you are prideful and ask God to take it from you and then give you His humility and gentleness towards other people’s issues.  Work through MEEKNESS, HUMILITY, AND GENTLENESS Issues
  3. Do you have a hard time waiting? Hope helps you wait with patience. Romans 8:25 states, “But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.Romans 12:12 states, “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulations, and be constant in prayer.”  Doing this will help you wait with patience.
  4. Ask God to show you the painful memories of offenses of when people were not patient with you or you were not patient. Then go through the healing described in “5 Steps to Heal the Soul.” Painful memories and unhealthy beliefs prevent the fruit of patience from manifesting in your life. As I have healed the painful memories of unfair treatments and disappointments, I have been much more patient and calmer than ever before. Since my painful memories were healed, I have stopped over-reacting and being controlled by my emotions.
  5. Put on patience and love. Colossians 3:12&13 states, “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” Slowly, read this verse again.  You are chosen.  You are holy.  You are beloved.  Another sign of patience is forgiving someone when you feel offended.  If this is hard for you to do read: WHY SHOULD I FORGIVE
  6. You develop patience by going through hardships, to become strong and complete. James 1:3-5 states, “for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness (patience, endurance). 4) And let steadfastness (patience) have its full effect (perfect work), that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” 

Conclusion

You don’t want to pray for patience, but developing patience is necessary to be mature and complete.  To become patient, you practice being patient during difficult and trying circumstances.  Just like you have to practice an instrument or a sport to be good at it. Practicing is hard work and often not pleasant.

You also need to put off pride and painful memories so the fruit of the spirit of patience can grow in your life.  Just like getting the rocks and weeds out of your garden allows your flowers and vegetables to grow.  Last, you are to be patient because Jesus is patient with you.  Having peace, being forgiving, and being kind is the evidence of being patient.

I would love to hear your thoughts, so please leave a comment.

RELATED POSTS:

7 Ways to Suffer Well: (Part 1)

Example of Suffering Well and God’s Response: Part 2 of Suffering Well

Patience — Freedom from Strongholds of Injustice and Unfairness


If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the link to my post and website with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom. 

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

Pt. 3: Seven Markers of a Trustworthy Person

What makes a person trustworthy?  Why do you need to be trustworthy?  The Bible says a trustworthy person will be successful and find favor with God and others in their life. Is this something you would like? Do you want to have the favor of God, your boss, or others in authority? Proverbs 3:3&4  states, “Let not steadfast love (mercy, KJV; kindness; NAS) and faithfulness (truth) forsake you; bind (tie) them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart. 4) So, you will find favor and good success (understanding, KJV; good reputation/name; NIV) in the sight of God and man.

For instance, if you were merciful and faithful to protect the confidence and reputation of those around you, then you won’t gossip or share secrets. Proverbs 11:13 states, “Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy (faithful, KJV) in spirit keeps a thing covered.”  Do you see how gossiping or slandering not only hurts the person involved but also makes you look bad and ruins your reputation?  When you talk bad about another person or lie, the one listening is wondering if you also talk bad about them, so they will not trust you. Also, consider Proverbs 14:22, which states, “Do not those who think (plot, devise) evil go astray? But mercy (kindness, love) and truth shall be to those who think of (devise, plot) good.” (MKJV).

Do you know people who have gone astray because they thought evil thoughts to harm others or themselves? Notice, how you think determines if you do evil or good.  If you think truthful and good thoughts, you feel good.  If you feel good, then you believe good things.  If you believe you are to be faithful and trustworthy, then you will act according to those good beliefs.  The same progression applies to evil thoughts, which lead you astray.  On the other hand, good thoughts lead to love and truth. I have written many posts on the power of thoughts; I encourage you to read them here.

The end of Proverbs 3:3b says to “bind (tie) them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart.” If you put something around your neck, you won’t forget it, and if you write something down and memorize it, you will live by it.  The thoughts and beliefs in your mind and heart dictate how you speak and act.

In Pt. 1: Forsaken? Betrayed? How to trust again, I covered how to heal broken trust and offenses from when you felt betrayed and forsaken by someone.  In Pt. 2: Why You Can and Cannot Trust God, I explain how you can trust God and why you don’t trust Him. This post exposes areas where someone may not be trustworthy and how to be free from the guilt of not being faithful.

A person who is trustworthy shows the love and faithfulness of God to others.  To be faithful is to be reliable, trusted, or believed. Rather than being worked up over other people’s failures, I want to look at how I have failed because I can only change myself.  Can others say you can be trusted and do they have confidence you are telling the truth and are dependable?  Rate yourself, how you think other people would rate you: 1-10 (1 being the lowest score).

____ Honest: you do not lie (white lies or exaggeration), cheat, or steal.

____ Dependable: you keep your word and people can rely on you.

____ Faithful:  people can trust and depend on you.

____ Loyal: you are faithful to a person, church, government, work, cause, duty, etc.

____ Reliable: people can depend on you to keep your word because you have integrity.

____ Fidelity: you are faithful and devoted to your obligations or vows and you are loyal.

____ Submissive: you are able to yield to the actions, control, and power of those in authority.

If you scored 1-7 in one or more areas in the list above.  Do the following for each area you scored low in to transform your life in that area.

  1. Ask God to show you the earliest memory of when you failed in that area.
  2. Ask the Holy Spirit to remove the negative stress-energy from that memory and forgive yourself or someone else.
  3. Pray to loose the power of the memory so it does not control your feelings and actions.
  4. Loose all the unhealthy beliefs created by the painful memory (ies) being healed.
  5. Bind in the truth of God’s Word, and the positive actions that you are honest, loyal, reliable, faithful, dependable, and submissive.
  6. If you feel guilt, ask God to remove the guilt related to the time you have lied or were unfaithful.
  7. Do this for all memories associated with the area you scored low in.
  8. Also, ask God to show you the painful memories where others have not been faithful or trustworthy to you.  See Pt. 1: Forsaken? Betrayed? How to trust again to heal those memories.

Guilt keeps you in bondage to your failures and sins.  God showed me how guilt from my sins, kept me from loving myself, which caused me to not love others.  I write about how to be free from guilt in the following posts:

Freedom from Humiliation and Mental Strongholds of Shame and Sadness.

WHY HEAL YOUR HEART AND PURIFY YOUR SOUL?

To find favor with God and those you associate with, be kind, merciful, faithful, and truthful.  To be successful and understanding, seek God to heal the painful memories that control your ability to be faithful and truthful.  Think good and truthful things to be faithful and trustworthy.


If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the link to my post and website with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

Pt. 2: Why You Can and Cannot Trust God? 

Have you ever felt forsaken by God? Jesus has, I have.  So, why does the Bible say, “He will never leave you or forsake you?”  We feel forsaken when our expectations are not met.  This is true with our human relationships as well.  The next time you feel forsaken, asked yourself what expectations were not met.  Were they realistic expectations?  Remember, God is the only one who can be faithful and loyal to you.  My last blog post explains how to recover from broken trust, and I encourage you to read that if you haven’t: Pt. 1: Forsaken? Betrayed? How to trust again.

Maybe you feel God has abandoned you when He did not answer a prayer.  Unanswered prayer is an unmet expectation that causes an offense to form in your heart. God did not answer my prayer to heal my abusive first marriage and keep my family together. I felt forsaken and despaired as I faced divorce.  I felt abandoned by God.  I poured my heart out to Him and told Him I was going to walk away from my faith. And God answered, “What is the alternative?” I thought about it and knew that Satan would love to destroy me and my children.  So, I stayed tight with God by submitting my many troubles to Him while going through the divorce.  I do not encourage divorce but sometimes we don’t have a choice.  I experienced many miracles because God was faithful to me, which I share in the post, Trust God to Keep His Promises.

The Bible says, He will never leave you nor forsake you when you seek Him (read Deuteronomy 31:6&8 and Hebrews 13:5). This promise is for those who are followers of Jesus Christ who believe and confess Him as their Lord and Savior.  When you believe, you are promised forgiveness of your sins and are promised eternal life (see John 3:16). Read my post on the 15 Promises We Can Trust God to Keep

―Are you afraid?

What are you afraid of?  Deuteronomy 31:6,8 says you must “Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you.” Again, in verse 8 God says, “Do not fear or be dismayed.” These two verses are part of Moses’s last message to the Israelites before they enter the Promised Land (Israel). When I think about being courageous, I think of David and Goliath.  David knew he could take Goliath because he compared the size of Goliath to the size of God.  By faith, David conquered his foe with God’s help.  Hebrews 11:6 says, “And without faith, it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.” Also, read James 4:8.

Are you afraid you don’t have enough money? Hebrews 13:5 says to, “Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’”  You can trust God to provide for you, so you don’t need to be anxious about how much money you have or don’t have. Philippians 4:19 explains, “And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”  When I was a single mother with two toddlers and no job.  I began a sewing business and God provided for my every need when I trusted Him.  I was never in need of anything. Because there was a 90% chance I would marry another abusive husband, I did not date. After a time of healing, God provided an awesome husband, who is totally submitted to Him and compatible with me. God is truly good.

My favorite promise is in Isaiah 41:10, which says, “fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”  Really think about this promise and claim it when you are facing a tough situation.  Fear and worry are indicators you are not trusting God. You will have peace when you keep your mind on the Lord God through prayer, praise, and pondering scripture.  Isaiah 26:3 says, “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you because he trusts in you.”  I wrote in a previous post, how you know you are trusting God when you attain righteousness, peace, and joy.

―How do you make God your refuge in times of trouble?

      Psalm 9:9-10 states, “The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know Your name trust in You, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek You.

What do the following phrases mean?

  • The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed”?  Refuge means a place of shelter and protection from danger. The word oppressed means to feel burdened or heavy by troubles in your body, spirit, and mind.  We make the LORD (God) our refuge through prayer by giving Him all the things that burden our hearts and are heavy on our minds.
  • A stronghold in times of trouble.”  A stronghold is a strong fortress that we can run into and be safe.  Psalm 37:39, also states, “The salvation of the righteous is from the LORD; he is their stronghold in the time of trouble.”
  • Those who know Your name trust in You for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek You Are you seeking God? Jeremiah 29:13 tells us, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Also, read Matthew 7:7-11.

God can be trusted, though He may not answer all your prayers the way you want Him too.  His knowledge and ways are greater than ours, and He has a good purpose and plan for you (Jeremiah 29:11-13 and Isaiah 55:9).  You will never know His good purpose for your life until you have submitted to Him.  Submitting to God means accepting His sovereign plan for you and give Him the authority to take over.  I wrote a post on how to submit to God.  When I finally submitted, I became free from an anxiety disorder.  Read: Why, What, and How to Submit to God and be FREE


Pray the following truth statements if you find it hard to trust God. Found in TRUST AND FAITHFULNESS Issues.

It is safe to trust God and do what is good, and He will direct me. Ps. 37:3-5.

I can trust God’s faithfulness to be a shield around me as I put my trust in Him, and I will not be afraid. Ps. 91:4; 56:4,11.

Trust believes the good thing God is doing, and my heart need not be troubled, for He is my salvation.  John 14:1, Isa. 25:9.

I can be trusted, and I am faithful with what God has given me. Lk. 16:10.

I can trust and believe my life has a purpose, and God has a plan for my life, which gives me hope… Jer. 29:11-14.

As I trust in God, He is my refuge, and His unfailing love and favor surround me. Ps. 32:10; 7:1; 5:12.

When I trust and believe in Jesus, I will not be disappointed.  Rom. 9:33; I Peter 2:6b.

I will not put my hope in the uncertainty of riches but in God who richly supplies me with all things to enjoy. I Tim. 6:17; Phil 4:19.

I am blessed when I trust and hope in the Lord, and I make him my confidence.  Jer. 17:7.


There is hope for complete healing when you seek God with all your heart and trust Him. The short book on my website is the result of God healing my heart when I trusted him to show me my wounds and sin so I could repent and be healed.  1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

I am praying for you.  If you have a prayer request, I would love to pray with you, send me an email, or if you comment with a request, I will not publish your request, unless you give me permission.

RELATED POSTS

Read my posts on Psalm 91 found in Psalm 91 Posts


If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the link to my post and website with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).