Pt. 1: Forsaken? Betrayed? How to Trust Again.

Have you been betrayed by someone you thought you could trust?  Have you experienced being forsaken by someone you love?  I have. God is the only one who will always be faithful and loyal to you, then your dog and maybe UPS delivery would be next.

I am offended by those who disregarded me, so how can I trust again?  You are disregarded when you are ignored, neglected, and not treated with respect. I will share later how to take those thoughts captive, so you are no longer controlled by the offenses. Each offense is like a brick in a wall. You build the wall with one offense after another to protect your heart from being hurt and disappointed again.  The wall also keeps you from experiencing the benefits of trusting and loving other people.  When you don’t trust you will live in fear that something bad will happen to you.  Fear erodes your relationships.  So, in this post, I will explain how to tear down your wall, one offense at a time so you can live in freedom and have peace and joy.  See my last post for an explanation of how to have peace and joy all the time in your life.  How to experience a heavenly life on earth.

For example, I trusted my father to love and cherish me, but he abused me then forsook me at 15 when he left and never contacted me again.  I trusted my mother to nurture and affirm me, but she was angry and dismissive.  I trusted my sisters to have my back and support me, but they were angry, violent, and self-centered.  I trusted my friends at school to be loyal and encouraging, but they humiliated me.  I trusted teachers and church leaders to protect me, but they looked the other way.  I trusted my first husband to love and protect me, but he abused me instead. Everyone has a story of betrayal and why they can’t trust.  Maybe a spouse had an affair.  A co-worker lied and gossiped about you.  A boss or supervisor harassed you and did not like you.  The painful memories of being forsaken control how you respond to those around you today.  Because of the antitrust wall around my heart, I could not give warmth and love to my family and friends.

Every human will fail you at one point or another because we all are sinners who fall short. You will fail someone who trusted you. Maybe you can’t be trusted because of the things you have done to hurt those around you.  You may not have been faithful to protect the ones you were supposed to love. God wants to make you whole and trustworthy again.  I will explain how to have hope for the restoration of your relationships. But first, you must STOP discounting yourself by reducing your value and thinking you don’t deserve better. You are valuable to God, and He wants to restore you and prosper you (Jeremiah 29:11, Psalm 139:17-18).

Do you have unrealistic expectations of the people in your life?  Maybe you have unstated expectations, and you think they should know, so you wonder why they let you down.  You may have specified your expectations, but the other person has not agreed to do what you expect.  Unmet expectations lead to frustration, anger, and feeling disregarded, which then create painful memories. You then believe the person cannot be trusted, so you close your heart to them and everyone else. Is this something you can relate to?  Read my short book to learn how to heal these painful memories: 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

Trust issues affect every living soul, and the painful memories need to be healed for the fruit of trust and faithfulness to grow in your life through the Holy Spirit.  Only God can heal your heart and memories, so first, ask God to remove your pride and any deceptive spirits from you.  I ask God to remove my pride because it always justifies why I shouldn’t trust and why I should be offended.  Then, I ask God to remove deceptive spirits because they will convince you that you don’t have a problem and it is no big deal. Next, ask God to show you if you have the following unhealthy beliefs or something similar:

  • I cannot trust; no one can be trusted
  • I am awful; I have done awful things and thought awful thoughts. I can’t trust in anything except the coming punishment that I deserve.
  • I don’t know what it means to feel trust and probably never will.
  • I can’t trust anyone after what I have experienced, after what I have done, and after what I have seen.
  • If I trust that things will work out and get better, then the coming pain is just that much more upsetting.
  • I trust what I have in my own hands, in my bank account, what I own, and what I control.
  • It is better to realize that everyone is out for himself, including me.
  • I am trustworthy. The only time I do bad things is when it’s justified.

Write down the unhealthy beliefs you have relating to your trust issues.  They may be some of the ones above or they may be different.  Next, ask God to show you the painful memory or memories that created the unhealthy belief.  Identify the vows you have made.  For example, I vowed to never trust a man because they are self-centered.  But, guess what, I was self-centered too. Go through the following prayer model to remove the offenses and the related unhealthy beliefs/vows.

  1. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal the contributors for each issue (problem, concern) such as the painful memory or memories of painful experiences or sin.
    • Painful experiences could be from a trauma, a word curse, unmet expectations, betrayal, poor choices, or rejection.
    • You may get an answer right away or you may have to wait a few days.
    • Be conscious of the quiet voice of the Holy Spirit speaking within your soul.
    • All painful memories have a negative stress-energy that needs to be removed from your mind and cells of your body.
    • Sin has negative spirit attachments that need to be removed by putting them off in Jesus’ name (see John 14:13 and 16:24).
    • Sin is anything you do that is not loving and valuing others or loving God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength.
  1. Forgive those who sinned against you including yourself if necessary (see Matthew 6:14:15, Colossians 3:13, and Ephesians 4:32).  WHY SHOULD I FORGIVE
    • The first step in trusting others is forgiving those who broke your trust because we are all sinners in need of a savior and forgiveness.
    • When you forgive, it breaks the power the offense has on your mind.
    • Do not dwell on the painful memories but be quick to forgive, though you may need to grieve a loss, which is healing.
    • Forgiveness releases you from the emotional control of the painful memories contributing to the issue needing healing.
    • If you have a hard time forgiving, ask God to give you His grace to forgive others for their sins against you as He has forgiven your sins (see Matthew 6:12-15).

PRAY: “Dear Lord, I forgive (name of the person or persons) for causing the pain of __________.”

  1. Replace unhealthy beliefs with truth.
    • Write down the lies or unhealthy beliefs the Holy Spirit reveals that are associated with the heart issue needing transforming by the truth.
    • Next, write the truths to replace the unhealthy beliefs.
    • For example, you may believe, “I don’t know what it means to feel trust and probably never will.” Replace this lie with this truth, “I can trust those who are trustworthy but understand they could let me down.  I know I can trust God and He will help me to forgive and be patient with those who let me down including myself.”
    • To understand how to use your authority in prayer read; Four Reasons for Authority in Prayer

PRAY: “Dear Lord, I loose the unhealthy belief of __________, and bind in the truth that ________, in Jesus’ name.”

  1. Repent of sins.
    • List the sins you committed because of your wrong thinking and unhealthy beliefs and decisions related to the issue needing healing.
    • Confess them to God and ask His forgiveness and to take all your guilt and resentment away (see 1 John 1:9) in Jesus’ name.
  1. Last, write out a thank you to God for something He did to protect, provide for, or comfort you. For painful memories to heal, they need to be replaced by a positive memory.

There is hope for complete healing of trust as you tear down the wall around your heart by taking each brick of offense out of the wall.  Choose to love others well knowing they are hurting people with walls and may choose to reject you.  Jesus was rejected and still is.

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Hope for Lasting Peace, Love, and Victory


If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the link to my post and website with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom. 

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

How to Experience a Heavenly Life on Earth.

Living a heavenly life sounds too good to be true, but you can, and I will show you how.  Because I care about you, I will explain how to experience a life of flourishing growth through righteousness, peace, and joy.  Romans 14:6 states, “For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.”  Please join me in my journey of experiencing the kingdom of God at this present time.  This does not mean you won’t have hardships, but you will experience a heavenly life that raises you above the hardships.  Does this sound good to you?  The key that opens the door to heavenly living is your attitude.  An attitude of rejoicing always, praying without ceasing, and being thankful for everything (1Theselonians 5:16-18).

Experiencing the Kingdom of God in this present age can only happen when you submit everything into God’s care first.  Many who call themselves Christians are not submitted to God and are spiritually dead because they do not have righteousness, peace, and joy. Have you been around a “Christian” who is dishonest, angry or depressed, and an ungrateful, sour person?  What I describe are signs of spiritual death.  I was that kind of Christian for many years until I discovered how to heal the painful memories of hurt and offenses to have peace and joy.  Read my short book on my website to learn how to heal painful memories so you can live the heavenly life to the fullest on earth. 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

In the last post, you learned how the Spirit gives life.  In this post, you will learn what the role of righteousness, peace, and joy are in the life-giving process.  Our text is Romans 8:10, which states, “But if (the Spirit of) Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness.”  Read my last two posts for context: HOW TO BE IN CONTROL OF LIFE and How does the Spirit give life?

Where did spiritual death through sin come from and what is life through righteousness? 

Romans 5:17 states, “For if, because of one man’s trespass (Adam’s disobedience), death reigned through that one man, much more will those who receive the abundance of grace and the free gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man Jesus Christ.” So, through the Spirit, you can put to death the deeds of the body and let righteousness rule your spirit and live the heavenly life.  Just as eternal life is a gift from God (see Ephesians 2:8 and Romans 6:23) so righteousness is a gift.  The following verses verify the correlation between life and righteousness.

Psalm 119:40 states, “Behold, I long for your precepts (direction for moral conduct); in your righteousness give me life!

Proverb 12:28 states, “In the path of righteousness is life, and in its pathway,  there is no death.

Romans 6:13 states, “Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness.”

In these verses, you learn that righteousness is the reason the Spirit is life.  So, what is righteousness?  According to dictionary.com righteousness is the quality or state of being righteous and righteous means acting in an upright, moral way (knowing right from wrong); virtuous. So, what do we have to do?   2Timothy 2:22 tells us, “So flee youthful passions (selfish thinking) and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.

How do you pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace?

You pursue righteousness by putting your faith in Jesus Christ’s ability to help you do what is right because He is your righteousness (see Romans 1:17; 3:22).  Pursue faith by reading God’s Word and memorizing Scripture (see Romans 10:17).  Become more loving by putting off pride and forgiving those who sin against you (see Matthew 6:12-14 and 1Corinthians 13:4-7).  Increase in peace by giving all your problems to God, trusting Him, and be thankful (Philippians 4:6,7).  If possible, you are to live peaceably with everyone (see Romans 12:18 and Hebrews 12:14).  Your heart becomes pure when you purify your soul from fleshly sins and obey the truth in God’s Word, then you can love one another (see 1Peter 1:22).

The evidence of righteousness is holiness and peace.

When you purify your soul, you become holy as explained in 2Corinthians 7:1. “Since we have these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from every defilement of body and spirit, bringing holiness to completion in the fear of God.”  The fear of God is reverent awe and a desire to please Him, knowing He disciplines us.  Hebrews 12:9-11 states, “Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? 10) For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness.  11) For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it”. And, Isaiah 5:16b explains, “the Holy God shows himself holy in righteousness.”

Isaiah 32:17 also tells us, “And the effect of righteousness will be peace and the result of righteousness, quietness and trust forever.”  Do you think peace and quietness are better than the turmoil resulting from setting your mind on your selfish desires and sinful behavior?  Do you have peace and quietness in your life right now?  Isaiah gives us a clue as to why you may not have peace.  Isaiah 48:18 states, “Oh that you had paid attention (listened) to my commandments (instructions)! Then your peace would have been like a river, and your righteousness like the waves of the sea;”  When we obey God and do what He instructs us to do, then we will have righteousness and peace.  This is living a heavenly life.

To increase your righteousness and know abundant life, you must make peace with others.  James 3:18 states, “And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.”  Making peace with others can be difficult.  Romans 12:17 & 18 explains, “Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable (upright, moral) in the sight of all. 18) If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”  And, Hebrews 12:14 encourages us to, “Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord.”  Peace and holiness are essential pursuits if you want to experience the heavenly life and see the Lord in eternity.  If you have a problem being at peace, work through the instructions in my book to remove past offenses that keep you from living in peace and joy.

For example, someone was throwing trash in my yard as they drove up a private dirt road that runs along my property and in my front yard along the main road.  I was losing my peace over it and through a process of elimination I figured out who it could have been.  I began to roil inside.  Then I thought, wait a minute, I am no longer living above my problems.  So, I captured my thoughts and turned them into a prayer and began to rejoice in God’s goodness and mercy and thanked him for blessing me.  I had just memorized Romans 12:17&18, so I thought about how I can bless the person throwing trash in my yard.  I came home that very evening from work and my side yard along the dirt road was all cleaned up and no trash has been thrown in since.  Praise the Lord.  Do you see how living the heavenly life of righteousness, peace, and joy is better than revenge, worry, and anger?

There is hope for complete spiritual healing as you pursue righteousness, peace, and joy with the help of the Spirit and live a heavenly life above all hardships.


If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the link to my post and website with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

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Thoughts That Create Peace Within and Without

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