Every living soul has wounds of rejection and will try to get their love-need met by equally wounded people. Wounded people cannot love us as God loves us. So, many of us become or have become sexually involved with a person to feel loved. Sometimes, we are so desperate for love and acceptance we will seek relationships with people we are not compatible with, and who don’t have the same beliefs. When you seek to get your needs met from a relationship instead of seeking God, that is idolatry.
The following Scripture warns against idolatrous relationships with unbelievers. 1Corinthians 15:33 states,“Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company ruins good morals.’” And, 2Corinthians 6:14 tells us, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” To be yoked is to be bound together, much like two horses are harnessed together to pull a carriage. If one horse is old and slow and the other horse is young and fast, they would be unequally yoked. Both horses will get hurt in some way.
Have you ever been unequally yoked? How did it work out? Being in a relationship with unbelievers or worldly Christians is risky because their minds are filled with the false beliefs of the world. Satan knows we are drawn away from our devotion to God and His truth when we become yoked with worldly people. For example, King Solomon’s pagan wives drew him away from his devotion to God by causing him to worship their idols.1 As a consequence, God caused King Solomon to lose his kingdom because he did evil by worshiping idols. Another consequence of being yoked is it creates soul ties.
What are soul ties?
What do you know about soul ties? The short answer, soul ties are the knitting together of two or more individuals…body, soul, and spirit. Soul ties occur in three ways, emotional, sexual, and spiritual. For an example of an emotional soul tie, read the story of David and Johnathan. 1Samual 18:1 states, “As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.” Another example of a spiritual soul tie can be seen between Jesus and Mary, Lazarus’ sister. And, sexual intercourse causes two people to become one flesh, thus creating a soul tie.2
When you have a soul tie with another person, your spirit will be affected by that person’s demonic spirit attachments. For example, I sought love from an unbelieving boyfriend in High School and he forced himself on me. The soul tie with him negatively impacted my marriage until I broke it with a prayer to loose and put it off from my spirit in Jesus’ name. When that soul tie was broken, I felt a release of an oppressive spirit. I felt love for my husband for the first time. I did this with all my past unhealthy relationships. I am now free from a host of negative spiritual, mental, and emotional issues. So, to be free from the control of evil spirits in another person’s life, then the soul ties need to be loosed and put off.
You can be friends with unbelievers and share your testimony with them without forming a soul tie. However, close friendships or partnerships with worldly people or cultural Christians will open you up to be influenced by the evil spirits influencing them. Because a person who is not devoted to Jesus Christ cannot submit to God and does not resist the devil; therefore, they will be controlled by the devil to do his will.3 The Apostle Paul explains this in his letter to the Romans:
Romans 8:5-8 states, “For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. 6) For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. 7) For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. 8) Those who are in the flesh cannot please God. ” For a better understanding of living according to the flesh, read Unseen Battle With The Secular World
How to find fully devoted Christian friends.
You need Christian friends who are fully devoted to God because if they are not, they will negatively influence your relationship with God. You might ask, how do I know if someone is submitted to God? I’m glad you asked. Use the following questions to learn if the person you may want a close relationship with is spiritually mature.
1) Do they talk about God and the Bible, or are they more interested in worldly entertainment and earthly things?
2) Do they display devotion to God, such as going to church, reading and memorizing Scriptures, sharing their faith, serving others, and praying?
3) Do they live like Christ-followers led by the Spirit, or do their lives resemble unbelievers following their sinful flesh?
4) Are they seeking to live holy and pure lives through Christ Jesus? How do they react to hurts, trials, and temptations?
5) Do they show they love God with all their heart, mind, soul, and strength by not having any idols in their lives as described in this chapter? Where are their devotions and affections (i.e. spend their time and money?)
6) Do your close friends show love for their neighbors by helping those who are in need, encouraging them with kind words, etc.?
7) Do they stay in forgiveness, or do they easily take up and hold on to offenses? This question will reveal if they are prideful and have wounds in their soul.
8) Are they thankful, or do they complain?
9) Are your close friends pursuing righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness, and peace?
10)Do they live by faith in Jesus Christ or do they proudly rely on themselves to be good enough instead of trusting in Jesus Christ.
1. King Solomon and wives: 1Kings 11:1-13.
2. Sexual ties: Ephesians 5:31 and 1Corinthians 6:16.
3. Controlled by the devil: James 4:7 and 2Timothy 2:26.
Grace and peace to you,