10 Ways to be Proactive Instead of Reactive

How reactive are you to events that don’t go as planned, to other people’s inconsideration, when people don’t keep their promises? My reaction level was off the charts, so when I separated from my abusive husband, I wanted to know what a mentally healthy person should act like. I read Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. The first habit was being proactive. What does proactive mean? According to Dictionary.com (2025), proactive means to prepare for, intervene in, or control an expected occurrence or situation, especially a negative or challenging one; anticipatory.

How To Control Your Feelings

Knowing you will act in anger or frustration, you can mentally prepare. What you think controls what you feel, what you believe, and how you act. So, stay in prayer mode, so you respond with kindness or patience. Self-control begins in the mind. Visit my web page on how to develop self-control to learn more. Being proactive requires self-control.

In my last post, I explained a church situation that made me angry and how I prayed through the Victory Plan from my post, “How to Develop Emotional Resilience.” I resolved to be kind and let the situation I could not control go. The following Sunday, the custodian came up to me, with his wife present, and said he loved me and gave me a hug. I eliminated stress by being proactive in how I dealt with the situation, even though I felt wronged.

If you know driving raises your stress level because you get frustrated and angry at how other drivers drive, you can say to yourself, “Getting upset and yelling at other drivers does not help, and it makes me tense and anxious; I will be thankful I don’t have to ride a donkey.” Try it, it works. You can also say, “I can be patient as I would want other drivers to be patient with me.” If you know attending a family function will upset you, you can pray for God to give you grace and kindness toward the difficult family members. Remember, people want to know they have worth and are loved as much as you do. Often, people act out because they have low self-worth and feel angry because they don’t feel loved, which is frequently related to their childhood.

10 Proactive Habits.

In my online book, I wrote the right thinking I need to practice for each of Stephen Covey’s seven habits. This is what I wrote for Habit 1—Be Proactive.

1. I can choose my response.
2. I am driven by values and truth, and I am not reactive.
3. I will not let the weaknesses of others control me.
4. I take the initiative and am responsible for making things happen.
5. I will use proactive language: “I choose.” “I control my own feelings.” “Let’s look at the alternatives.”
6. I will work on what I can do something about, which is in my circle of influence.
7. I will BE more ……….. To change from the inside-out, to be different.
8. I choose to be thankful.
9. I will acknowledge mistakes instantly and correct them.
10. I will make and keep commitments and promises.

Change Unhealthy Beliefs and Discover a New Reality

The article in Psychology Today “Why Proactivity Is the Superpower You Can and Should Develop,” says that “proaction is worth viewing as a superpower because it is the “possible you” that 1) spots and prevents problems, 2) identifies, pursues, and captures opportunities, and 3) creates a new, personally-chosen, desired future through a strategic change of trajectory.” This article provided valuable tips.

My life was controlled by my past trauma. I continued to live out of my emotional programming and unhealthy beliefs about myself and my capability. I married my first husband because of unhealthy beliefs and wrong thoughts. I allowed people to define me and limit my ability. Being proactive about healing my past soul wounds changed the trajectory of my life, and it can change yours. Read my online book about how I changed my destiny.

In the following posts, I will continue to explain these ten ways to be proactive. If you would like a PDF of my Victory Plan to Overcome Anger, Depression, and Anxiety, email me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com.

Continue to learn how to apply the other ways to be proactive in the next post.

May God bless you richly as you think proactively.

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All verses are from the English Standard Version. If you find my posts and website helpful, please share this link with your friends and family: hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected. Please do not reproduce any part of the posts or my book without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom and this website. 

My latest book is Unlocking God’s Promises, which explains 18 categories of promises that are relevant to each of our lives. It also includes the promises in Psalm 91.  

If you find this website helpful, you would like to read Breaking Mental Strongholds, which expands on my website book and includes many of my posts. 

Additionally, consider my book Fighting Unseen Battles, which describes the many unhealthy beliefs that control our lives and what the truths are. To learn more about this book, read the post How to Fight Unseen Battles.  

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com and ask for a PDF of Eight Life-Changing Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, the 23rd Psalm, and victory. I will also send you the Lord’s Prayer Model to pray effectively. Please leave your name, so I know you are a real person making the request.