Author: Joyce Holzman Hanscom

I am a certified Mental Health Coach through Light University. An author. A Bible teacher for Good News Clubs and incarcerated women in the county jail. I teach about how to discover a new reality through memory transformation. Discovering a new reality is achieved when you heal emotions from painful memories and transform negative heart issues. When false beliefs are transformed by truth, then you can love from a pure heart and make wise decisions. There is hope for complete healing.

Three Great Ways to Increase Dopamine and Feel Good

What makes you feel good, happy, and secure? Depression is the top mental health issue around the world. It can be treated with medication, but it can also be treated by increasing the hormone and neurotransmitter dopamine in the brain. Dopamine gives you pleasure and regulates your mood. It helps us focus, work towards goals, and find things interesting. Warning: dopamine is the root precipitator for all addictions.

Achieving Goals

How do you feel after you accomplish a goal? When you achieve a goal, does it make you feel rewarded and good? That is because accomplishments increase the feel-good hormone dopamine in your brain. At one time, I was addicted to the dopamine hit from reaching goals, and I became a workaholic. I would make lists of goals I wanted to accomplish, and with each achievement, I would feel a sense of satisfaction. I used achieving goals to cover my mental health problems, to forget about my past. Once I healed my past issues through prayer and memory healing, I was no longer addicted to achieving goals, though I still like the reward I feel when I do achieve a goal.

Exercising

As we enter a new year, most of us have a goal of exercising more and losing weight. Exercising every day is the best way to increase dopamine in your brain. Exercise not only increases your quality of life but also reduces dementia risk, increases energy, and improves your mood and sleep. There are many articles written about the benefits of exercise, so I encourage you to read them, write down the benefits, and review them every day to remind you why you need to exercise. I don’t know about you, but the older I get, the less I feel like exercising, even though I know it is more important now than ever before.

Do you know people who are addicted to exercise? They exercise for hours a day. This is because they seek the dopamine highs. I never had this problem. Some people are addicted to food because it gives them the same dopamine hit. I will blame my grandparents for feeding me candy and cookies when I went to their house. I became addicted to sugar-laden treats for the feel-good dopamine high it gave me. If you think you are addicted to increasing the dopamine hormone response, then please seek professional counseling. Recently, Jelly Roll was in the news talking about his 300 lb weight loss. Yikes, what an accomplishment. In the article, he admitted to having a food addiction that he got therapy for. Most addictions cover up the effects of painful memories. So, healing painful memories is important to overcome addiction. See my onlinebook to learn how I overcame my addictions.

Helping Others

The third way to increase dopamine is to help other people, especially if they can’t return any benefit to you. Here is an excellent article called “The Surprise Science Behind Why Helping Others Helps You.” I love to help others, now I know why.

I had a long list of goals when I retired, and one of them was to finish a 43-hour Child and Youth Mental Health Coaching program from Light University. I finished the program on December 31, 2025, after two years. I learned how to coach parents to understand their children and help them build emotional resilience. I wanted to equip myself with the knowledge I needed to be the most help to hurting people. Do you find you don’t want to be around messy, dysfunctional people? But they are the ones who need the most help. I love to read how my website has helped people and given them hope. This makes me feel good.

With each class I took on Youth Mental Health Coaching, I learned how dysfunctional my family was and how messed up I was as a child and a parent. I also realized that by the grace of God and His healing power, I am now emotionally resilient and secure. There is hope, which is why I developed the Hope for Complete Healing website and wrote the book with the same name.

Mental Health Coaching Programs

If you are interested in enrolling, go to LightUniversity.com and select Mental Health Coaching. I wrote about the first Mental Health Coaching program I completed in this post. Here are some of the great topics you will learn about in the Youth Mental Health Coaching program.

Childhood Trauma and Adverse Childhood Experiences – Shannae Anderson, Ph.D.

Managing Stress and Anxiety in Children and Teens – Gregory L. Jantz, Ph.D.

Moody: Understanding Depression and Mood Disorders – Gregory L. Jantz, Ph.D.

Battling Loneliness and Bullying – Mark Mayfield, Ph.D.

Buzzed: Winning the Alcohol and Substance Abuse War – John Eklund, M.S.W.

A New Normal: Helping Kids and Teens through Grief and Loss – Jennifer Ellers, M.A.

Anger, Defiance, Rebellion, and Violence: When Kids Go Awry – Gary Sibcy, Ph.D.

Pornography, Sex, Sexting and Sexuality – Jim Cress, M.A.

Walking a Thin Line: Health, Diets, and Eating Disorders – Amy Feigel, M.A.

Guidance and Support for Children with Developmental Disabilities – Stephanie Holmes, Ed.D.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), and Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD): Behavior Patterns, Issues and Intervention – E. John Kuhnley, M.D.

Everything is Changing: Brain Health, Hormones and the Neurobiology of Youth and Development – Gary Sibcy, Ph.D.

The Use of Psychiatric Medication in the Mental Health Treatment of Children and Adolescents – E. John Kuhnley, M.D.

Love and Limits: Parenting, Boundaries and Structure – Mercy Connors, Ph.D.

Emotion Coaching and Regulation for Children and Adolescents – Gary Sibcy, Ph.D.

Connecting with Kids through the World of Play – Daniel Sweeney, Ph.D.

Decisions and Consequences: Making Wise Choices When It Counts – Karl Benzio, M.D.

Conflict Management and Resolution – Karl Benzio, M.D.

Cultural Identity – Mark Crear, Ph.D.

Performance, Pressure, and Identity: Managing Sports, Academics, and Life – Zach Clinton, M.A.

The Wired Generation: Technology, The Brain, Social Media and Behavior – Mark Mayfield, Ph.D.

Helping Parents Teach Their Youth About Healthy Sexuality – Jim Burns, Ph.D.

Gender Identity and Ideologies: Helping Parents and Families When Youth Come Out as LGBTQ – Kathy Koch, Ph.D.

Family Systems: Understanding Generational Patterns – John Eklund, M.S.W.

Childhood and Adolescent Development: An Attachment Perspective – Anita Kuhnley, Ph.D.

Prodigal Children: Helping Parents Stand Strong and Trust God in the Midst of Heartache and Brokenness – Mark Mayfield, Ph.D.

Divorce and Living in Blended Families – Jay Daughtry, M.A., and Tammy Daughtry, M.A.

Family Strong: Helping Families Survive and Thrive in the Storms of Life – Shannae Anderson, Ph.D., and Mercy Connors, Ph.D.

There is hope for complete healing. Reach out to me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com if you have questions or need free mental health coaching.

How to Successfully Navigate the Seasons of Life

Do you like change? How about the change of seasons? Each season has beauty and challenges. But all seasons bring change. What season of life are you in? You may be in a difficult season of sickness, a relaxing retirement, or a busy season with many demands. Whatever the season you are in, God is with you, so don’t forget about Him. He is there to help you and to give you peace, strength, and wisdom.

When Multiple Seasons Coincide

I am still in the season of caring for my handicapped mother since 2012, who has dementia. For many years, I cared for her in her home, which was a three-hour drive; now she is in a local Nursing home. This season was challenging because it coincided with working full-time, attending grad school part-time, and attending endless sporting events my youngest teenage son was involved in. At the same time, my oldest son was a drug addict for ten years. I say all this to encourage you, that God is my help, and He sustained me through it all. God will sustain you as well. 2Chronicals 16:9a (NIV) states, “For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.” Is your heart fully committed to God?

My favorite uplifting scripture is Isaiah 46:3b-4 (NIV), “Listen to me, …, you whom I have upheld since your birth, and have carried since you were born. Even to your old age and gray hairs, I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you, and I will rescue you.” Sustain means to support, provide for, hold up, to keep (a person, the mind, the spirits, etc.) from giving way, as under trial or affliction. Sustain also means to supply with food, drink, and other necessities of life (Dictionary.com 2025). Psalm 55:22 states, “Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.” Also, Isaiah 50:4 states, “The Lord GOD has given me the tongue of those who are taught, that I may know how to sustain with a word him who is weary.” I pray that this post offers words of hope and encouragement to sustain you in your seasons of change.

Enduring Difficult Seasons

You can trust and rely on God when you are in or facing a season of difficulty, even if you feel overwhelmed and can’t sense God’s nearness. He is there, carrying you whether you are aware of it or not. God (the “I am”) promises to sustain you and even rescue you. Read over Isaiah 43:4 again. Note the phrase “I will.” These are promises. You can trust God to keep His promises. I have written about many of God’s promises in my book “Unlocking God’s promises.” Jesus promised to give you peace in John 16:33, “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world, you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” 1John 5:4 explains, “For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith.” And Hebrews 11:6 states, “And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.”

Transitioning to a New Season

I am entering a new season of change and uncertainty, but aren’t all seasons like that? This is why we need to hold onto God to help us navigate each season of our lives. I retired about six months ago, which was a breeze. I loved it. I got so many projects done. Retirement is great, but my husband is retiring next month, which will drastically change my retirement season. I like to be in control of what, when, and how I do things. I also pace myself throughout the day to get everything done. Having him home all day will be difficult, as he will want me to be part of his agenda. I am already getting very stressed about it. But remember, all thoughts are in my control, and I will take every thought captive. I may not be able write posts as often as I have in the last eight years, but everyone who reads my posts is in my prayers.

Here are ways to navigate life’s seasonal changes with grace.

Find something praiseworthy to focus on.
Embrace the changes and know that you will find a new normal.
Discuss common interests and potential conflicts, and how to mitigate them.
Talk about expectations and concerns. The more you understand each other’s expectations and concerns, the easier the transition will be. For example, when I began working full-time, I would not have time to do all the housework. So my husband and I worked out a way to split the chores.
Commit all your frustrations to the Lord, and seek His wisdom to overcome problems that inevitably occur in any season you are in.

To help with the transition of having my husband around every day and all day, I suggested we buy a van and turn it into a camper van, then take short trips around the US while we still have our health. This will give us a common goal rather than being annoyed with each other for interrupting our individual agendas. Does this make sense? If you have any other suggestions, I would love to hear them. Please leave a comment. I understand that this plan can backfire, and other issues will sneak up. Gary’s parents are old, and so are my mother and my aunt, so they could die or suffer a major health crisis, which will bring in a new season. The key is to trust God and rely on Him to sustain you and help you.

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All verses are from the English Standard Version. If you find my posts and website helpful, please share this link with your friends and family: hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright-protected. Please do not reproduce any part of the posts or my book without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom and this website.

My latest book, Unlocking God’s Promises, explains 18 categories of promises relevant to each of our lives. It also includes the promises in Psalm 91.

If you find this website helpful, you would like to read Breaking Mental Strongholds, which expands on my website book and includes many of my posts.

Additionally, consider my book Fighting Unseen Battles, which describes the many unhealthy beliefs that control our lives and the truths behind them. To learn more about this book, read the post How to Fight Unseen Battles. Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com and ask for a PDF of Eight Life-Changing Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, the 23rd Psalm, and victory. I will also send you the Lord’s Prayer Model to pray effectively. Please leave your name, so I know you are a real person making the request.

14 Mental Health Indicators

If you had to rate your mental health from one to ten, what would it be? I learned to manage disappointment more effectively, to accept what I cannot control and to trust God, and to gently correct others’ offenses. My marriage improved because I stopped speaking negative words over it and replaced negative thinking with gratitude. I have spent the last year exploring ways to improve my mental and spiritual health. I was amazed by how much it affects our psychological and physical health. There is so much more to learn. The key takeaway from my research is that mental health and spiritual health are interrelated and directly affect your physical health. Therefore, the more spiritually healthy you are, the more mentally healthy you will be, and the more mentally healthy you are, the more physically healthy you will be. Read “Why Be Physically Healthy?“

Mental Health Rating.

I created the following summary in the post titled “How Mentally Healthy Are You?” published on January 11, 2025. When I read various articles about mental health, including my Mental Health coaching instructions with Light University, I learn that there are many perspectives on what a mentally healthy person is. The following list summarizes people’s views of what a mentally healthy person looks like. Rate yourself from one to ten for each category. How well are you doing?

Aware of negative thinking but not obsessed with it. 1 —–5—– 10

(Thinking creates feelings, which build beliefs that affect emotions and behavior. Read “All Thoughts are Within Our Control.”)

Identifies and accepts disappointment but does not discount it. 1 —–5—– 10

(Acknowledge the unmet expectations and process resulting disappointment through prayer. Read “How to Develop Emotional Resilience.”)

Forgive those who offend me. 1 —–5—– 10

(God requires forgiveness, and it removes the power of the offence from influencing your thoughts, emotions, and behavior. Read “Why Must You Forgive.”)

You are realistically thankful about something even when expectations are not met.

1- –5 — 10 (Thankfulness changes the negative thought and emotion into a positive thought. Read “Being Thankful During Hardships.”)

Humbly consider others’ needs and desires. 1 —–5—– 10

(Loving others requires humility and consideration. Read “How to Build Trust with Win/Win Agreements.”)

Understands boundaries and uses them. 1 —–5—– 10

(Boundaries create healthy interactions. Read “HOW TO BE PROACTIVE: cont.”)

See possibilities and positives in hardships, and don’t obsess over unrealistic worst-case scenarios. 1 —–5—– 10

(Hardships are part of life, Jesus said He will give you peace. Read “Thoughts That Create Peace Within and Without.”)

Proactive and not defensive. You receive criticism and use it for positive change, and do not get defensive or become depressed. 1 —–5—– 10

(Very difficult to do. Read “How to Respond to Criticism.”)

Do not get into futile arguments to prove your right. 1 —–5—– 10

(This requires wisdom and a sound mind. Read “How to Have a Healthy Argument or Conflict.”)

You know you can only control your own thoughts and actions, not what others think or do. 1 —–5—– 10 (Read “10 Ways to be Proactive Instead of Reactive.”)
You are content yet persevere toward positive goals. 1 —–5—– 10

(Being envious and anxious steals you peace; contentment gives you a sound mind. Read “TWELVE WAYS TO ACHIEVE HEALTHY GOALS.”)

Do not need validation from others to feel good about yourself. 1 —–5—– 10

(Read “Eliminate Depression with Self-love and God’s Love.”)

Do not relinquish your power to external influences. 1 —–5—– 10

(Do you allow others’ flawed opinions to influence how you think and believe? Read “What is An Emotionally Healthy Person?”)

Do you take your sad thoughts to God and rejoice in His help, provision, and wisdom?

1 —–5—– 10 (You can take every thought captive and focus on Jesus as your source of joy. Read “HOW TO REPLACE SADNESS WITH REJOICING” and “Purpose, Sadness, and Loneliness.”)

Conclusion

How did you do? if you need to improve in one or more areas, there is hope. Read “Eight Ways to Rewire Negative Responses.” Your mental health is critical for living your best and most prosperous life. You cannot have healthy relationships without healthy emotions. You can’t face life’s hardships without a strong spiritual life. I pray you grow more mentally healthy as you also strengthen your spiritual and physical health. To read all my mental health posts, go to the Mental Health Posts page.

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My latest book, Unlocking God’s Promises, explains 18 categories of promises relevant to each of our lives. It also includes the promises in Psalm 91.

If you find this website helpful, you would like to read Breaking Mental Strongholds, which expands on my website book and includes many of my posts.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com and ask for a PDF of Eight Life-Changing Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, the 23rd Psalm, and victory. I will also send you the Lord’s Prayer Model to pray effectively. Please leave your name, so I know you are a real person making the request.

How To Overcome Holiday Stress

For many, the holidays are not a happy time and are full of stress. You may be one of the fortunate ones who has never experienced disappointment during the holidays; that is great. In this post, you will learn how to mitigate stress and change your perspectives, expectations, and focus to find joy and peace.

Do you remember a time you really wanted something for Christmas, and you didn’t get it? Does that memory steal your joy during the Christmas season? Do you feel sad because a family member died or there was a divorce? It is okay to feel sad about a loss. We will always have disappointments that make us sad or angry. I grew up poor, and when my father left, I never heard from him again, so the holidays were not joyous.

I have to confess that last year I became depressed because my children weren’t coming home for Thanksgiving or Christmas. They just had a baby and didn’t want to travel down from Syracuse. That is understandable, but I was still sad. It helped me develop compassion for others who lack family and will spend the holidays alone.

Stop Stressing About Gift-Giving.

Gift-giving is a tradition begun by the wise men who brought gifts for baby Jesus. Giving gifts shows honor to the person receiving the gift. Gift-giving became stressful when it became a competition on who could give the most. We were poor and could not give as many gifts. Buying gifts is a challenge for me and very stressful. So, I stopped making gift-giving the central theme of Christmas. Most of my family understood because they could all buy what they wanted, when they wanted. Most people don’t need anything. My husband’s family agreed to stop buying presents for the adults. So we only buy for the children.

My sister refuses to stop buying gifts and expects me to get her gifts. She is very wealthy, but I am not, so she would always compare the gifts she gave me with the ones I gave her, which was very humiliating. Do you see why gift-giving is so stressful for me? I came up with the idea of giving her gifts of service, which she appreciated more than a gift. I also make things for her, which she likes. This year, I am making her a unique raincoat. We picked out the pattern together, and she picked out the fabric.

I live with my husband, and I still cannot come up with a gift for him because he gets everything he needs or wants. Plus, we have the same bank account, so he would know everything I bought him, so there is no surprise. I did start making chocolate-covered peanut butter and coconut candy, which he loves. I also give them as gifts to my children, but not to my sister. For a few years, I gave my husband ten cards that he could redeem for a massage. He loved that. Please leave a comment with other gift ideas. We have so much, and we don’t need more stuff. I don’t need more stuff.

Change Your Focus.

Holidays are focused on family gatherings, which is good. But not every family is mentally healthy, and not everyone has a family. Change happens every year. A family member may die, get sick, move away, get married, or experience a job loss, and so on. There will always be disappointment around Christmas time. I found joy by focusing on the wonderful gift that God gave us in the birth of Jesus, the actual reason for the season. I look for opportunities to share the good news of salvation that came with the birth of Jesus, along with hope (Rom. 15:13), peace (John 16:33), joy (John 15:11), and love.

Start new traditions that focus on the real reason we celebrate Christmas. When I had children at home, we read the Christmas story and talked about the gifts God gives us. I also had them do a scavenger hunt for baby Jesus. I gave each child a clue, and they raced to find the next clue and see who could be the first to find something made of gold, then find myrrh, then frankincense, and the last clue was where baby Jesus was hidden. The kids loved that tradition. I would love to hear your ideas.

Reach Out to Those Who Are Alone.

Look for ways to encourage widows, take them a lunch, and spend time with them. Many will spend the holiday alone. Going to a Nursing home to visit those who have no one to see them. Singing carols with those in the Nursing Home gives them great joy. If there is an orphanage in your area, take time to give to them. James 1:27 states, “Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” Volunteering at a soup kitchen to feed the homeless will also make you feel good and show honor to someone who cannot give back.

One year, I could not go home for Christmas because of a snowstorm. A person I knew learned of my situation, came by my apartment, and took me to her house for Christmas dinner. I will never, ever, forget that Christmas, which was over 40 years ago. Her mother and father made room for me at the dinner table and gave me a bag of M&Ms as a gift. Whenever I see M&Ms, I am reminded of their kindness. So I encourage you to reach out to those who will spend Christmas alone.

Invite the people around you to church, take them a plate of cookies, or invite them to dinner. One year, our church encouraged the members to invite international students to their homes for a holiday meal. Many students cannot go home for the holidays. Inviting them to your home would be a memory you and they would never forget. Showing kindness to someone will boost your mental health.

Jesus gave an example in Luke 14:12-14: “He said also to the man who had invited him, ‘When you give a dinner or a banquet, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, lest they also invite you in return and you be repaid. 13) But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you. For you will be repaid at the resurrection of the just.’”

Conclusion

I hope this post was encouraging and helps give you ways to make the holidays less stressful. Giving gifts of service to those who have everything, not more stuff. Focus on the real reason for Christmas or Thanksgiving and start new traditions. Invite those who will spend the holiday alone to your home. Give to those who can’t give back. Be a blessing. I know there is so much more I could have shared, but I would love to hear your ideas, which would also encourage others who read this post. I pray God bless you richly as you focus on Him and share love with others.

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My latest book, Unlocking God’s Promises, explains 18 categories of promises relevant to each of our lives. It also includes the promises in Psalm 91.

If you find this website helpful, you would like to read Breaking Mental Strongholds, which expands on my website book and includes many of my posts.

FIVE WAYS TO TAME YOUR IMAGINATION

Have you ever caught yourself getting all worked up imagining a worst-case scenario that may never happen? It is unwise to let your imagination go down a dark path, because your emotions and behavior follow your thoughts, and you will often act foolishly. For example, my sister accused my husband of cheating in a game we were playing. She let her imagination fuel her assumption, and her emotions followed. She said many unkind words. I tried to reason with her, but she kept believing the lie that my husband was trying to do her in. My husband was not cheating, and he will no longer play games with her. Her foolish imagination and controlling behavior ruined her relationship with my husband. Has your imagination caused you to act foolishly?

What Stimulates Your Imagination?

Stories, TV shows, and movies are often make-believe scenarios to entertain you, but those images influence thoughts, which stimulate your imagination. For example, I became interested in the van-life movement, and I found their van creations and travel experiences very interesting. Watching these YouTube videos has inspired me to want to do the same thing. My husband is shocked because I am a homebody, and he loves to travel. Talking to people can stimulate good or bad thoughts and imagination.

Problems stimulate either creative thoughts or destructive thoughts. If you have a problem you need to solve, you can use your imagination to come up with a solution. For example, I had a problem with one of my chickens that always wanted to fight. I had to separate her from the flock because the other chickens would nearly kill her. My husband did not want to kill her, so I had to come up with a solution to keep her separate, protected from predators, and not a burden to care for her. It took me about a month to come up with a viable, though not perfect, solution. On the other hand, if you are having problems with your family, you may imagine it would be better to get a divorce, turn to alcohol or drugs, go to the bar instead of going home, and so on.

For a long time, as I was healing from the trauma of my past, I was caught up in a world of make-belief to escape the struggles of my life. As a child, I spent hours completely dissociated from reality, living in a make-believe world in my mind. Since I healed my trauma memories, I no longer struggle with dissociation. To learn more about how I healed my memories, read my website book called “Hope for Complete Healing.”

Unhealthy beliefs will stimulate your imagination to go down a dark road of make-believe that robs your life and sometimes your finances. If you have insecurity issues, you may have the unhealthy belief that someone doesn’t like you. Your imagination will come up with many scenarios of why they don’t want you, which feeds your unhealthy belief that you are unworthy. Some people have the harmful belief that they must prepare for some catastrophe that may never happen. Many people are caught up in the prepping phenomenon because of TV shows, YouTube videos, and prepping books. My sister is totally controlled by the prepping phenomenon, spending a vast amount of money and time on it.

What Does the Bible Say?

God writes a lot about our thoughts, which I explain in the page called “Posts on Thoughts.” I found two verses concerning imaginations.

Proverbs 18:11 states, “A rich man’s wealth is his strong city, and like a high wall in his imagination.”

Act 17:29 states, “Being then God’s offspring, we ought not to think that the divine being is like gold or silver or stone, an image formed by the art and imagination of man.”

How to Tame Your Imagination.

A person’s imagination can be good when used to create beautiful works of art, engineering feats, or great inventions. But most of the time, imaginations are fueled by unhealthy beliefs and unrealistic fears. I explain this in a post called “How Fear Controls You.” In this post, I want to explain how to tame your imagination. Your thoughts direct your imagination, and you can control what you think.

Recognize (be mindful of) your thoughts and feelings. Note, God is aware of all your thoughts (Ps. 139:1-4).
Ask yourself, is what I am thinking the truth? Did the situation happen, and is there a real threat or problem that needs to be mitigated?
Take the unhealthy belief captive and tell it to be gone in Jesus’ name (2Cor. 10:5 and John 14:14).
Apply a truth to your mind and dwell on what is true (Phil. 4:8).
Let your mind dwell on God’s word (Ps. 1:1-3 and Joshua 1:8) when you become worried or fearful.

Conclusion

The quality of your mental health depends on what your mind dwells on. Understanding external influences on your mind and imagination will help you determine whether what you believe is the truth or a lie. Take captive all thoughts that stimulate feelings of anger, hate, malice, manipulation, sadness, fear, envy, impurity, sensuality, and so on. Don’t let your imagination cause you to sin. Set your mind on the things of God to stay in the will of God and to worship Him continually. Colossians 3:1-3 states, “If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. ²Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. ³For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.” And Romans 12:2 states, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

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My latest book, Unlocking God’s Promises, explains 18 categories of promises relevant to each of our lives. It also includes the promises in Psalm 91.

If you find this website helpful, you would like to read Breaking Mental Strongholds, which expands on my website book and includes many of my posts.

Putting Together the 3-D Puzzle of Life

Have you ever heard the term “life is a puzzle?” Have you thought about how all the events of your life brought you to the place where you are now? Some events were bad, and some were good. The family you were born into is part of the puzzle for which you had no control. Listen to anyone’s autobiography, and you will see the puzzle pieces of their life. Each person you meet or work with is part of your puzzle. The problem with the puzzle of life is that you had no control over the pieces in your childhood, and that every decision you make changes the picture of your life. This is a 3-D puzzle because you are a puzzle piece for many other people’s puzzles, and they are pieces of your puzzle. So how do you put a 3-D puzzle of life together, and why?

Mental Health Puzzle pieces?

I don’t know of anyone who has not had some type of mental health issue because we live in a sinful world with hurtful people. Resentment toward those who hurt you causes mental dis-ease. Even our perceptions can cause mental health issues. For some people, you mention the T****p word, and they have a visceral reaction. Even political events that affect us are part of our puzzle. Read this post to learn what a mentally healthy person looks like. How Mentally Healthy Are You?

I have spent 2025 writing about many types of mental health problems and what solutions to work through to resolve them. Every day presents new challenges that threaten to pop our control bubbles. To review the list, read “List of Mental Illnesses” by Very Well Health. I have good news: these don’t have to define you, and you can overcome them. There is hope for complete healing.

As I prayed about what God would have me write about, I couldn’t help but realize the impact of a decision I made at eight years old. At eight, I chose to believe and receive Jesus Christ as the Savior of my life (John 1:12), which dramatically changed my mental health issues. In college, I made Jesus the Lord of my life (Jude 1:25) and chose to follow and obey Him, which forever changed my puzzle and destiny. I am fully convinced that the mental health crisis is made worse when you don’t submit your life and will to God and trust Him. Let me know in the comments if you disagree and what you think is the reason for the current mental health crisis.

Why is it Necessary to Put My Life’s Puzzle together?

From experience, when I put my life’s puzzle together, I was able to come to grips with my past and heal my memories. Seeing the puzzle picture of your past put together allows you to rewire the wrong programming created by the various broken pieces. I explained how to rewire your brain in my last post. Also, seeing the puzzle pieces put together helps you create new pieces to change the future picture of your life. Seeing the life patterns of you and your parents enables you to identify and change the patterns you don’t want to continue.

I saw a pattern of victimhood and poverty throughout my childhood. I did not want that for my future, so I decided to apply for college. When I told my mother, she said I was too dumb. WOW! What a blow. I refused to let her words define the next puzzle piece in my life. I had a vision of what I wanted my future to look like, so I focused on that. Words have the power to create pieces of the puzzle. Remember, you can take every thought captive (2Cor. 10:5). With God’s help, I graduated from college. Though I was poor while in college and for some time before I started my teaching career, I have been doing very well ever since.

How to Put Your Puzzle Together.

To begin putting your puzzle together, do the following.

Journal your mother’s and fathers’s history. Talk with Aunts and Uncles to get their perspective because each person retains memories differently and has a different view of traumatic events.
For each parent, write down the trauma pieces that affected their lives and how they altered their destiny. For example, my mother was getting her nursing degree when she became pregnant out of wedlock with my sister and me. She lost her dream of becoming a nurse and had to marry a very irresponsible man. All three events changed my mother’s destiny and greatly affected her mental health, which affected my puzzle.
Record patterns of sin or dysfunction that were passed down (i.e., poverty, alcoholism, mental health issues, pride, gambling, etc.)
Journal all the things you see as significant in your parents’ puzzle and how it affected your puzzle. I hope this makes sense. Once you start your journal, you will get into a flow. Always begin by asking God to show you the significance of the event and any wrong beliefs that were developed and passed down to you. I talked to older relatives who gave me my great-grandparents’ history, which explained why my mother and her family were so angry. I learned why my father was irresponsible. All this helps you forgive, overcome resentment, and adopt new thinking and belief patterns that lead to better decisions.
Continue putting the pieces together from your birth to the present. Record all events that significantly affected your life, such as the birth of a sibling, divorce, moves, etc.
Now go through my webbook called “Hope for Complete Healing” to create beautiful pieces to fit the misfitting pieces created by trauma or bad memories.
Write your perceptions and the unhealthy beliefs you internalize with each memory.

Conclusion

I am a testament to successfully creating a beautiful puzzle of life with God’s help from the broken pieces of my past. My life is not over, and I have more opportunities to create beautiful puzzle pieces for my life, my family, and my friends. To learn how I transformed my life, read WHAT IS INNER LIFE TRANSFORMATION? My Story

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My latest book, Unlocking God’sPromises, explains 18 categories of promises relevant to each of our lives. It also includes the promises in Psalm 91.

If you find this website helpful, you would like to read Breaking Mental Strongholds, which expands on my website book and includes many of my posts.

Eight Ways to Rewire Negative Responses

I am often sad. I asked God why? He brought to my attention that my neurological pathways are wired for sad feelings. My family makes fun of me for my self-pity bouts. It makes sense that my brain is wired or programmed for sadness because I experienced a lot of rejection and trauma for many years of my life. Some people worry constantly, are angry, or complain all the time. When a negative emotion is persistent, it is because of the neurological programming or wiring of your brain. The good news is that we can rewire our brains due to neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity is the brain’s ability to change response pathways. You can rewire your brain for addictive issues as well.

I know that neuroplasticity is legitimate because I have experienced significant changes in my brain through healing bad memories and unhealthy beliefs. I am still in the process of reprogramming automatic responses to stress. You can read about how to change your brain in my free book on my website. I also wrote “Breaking Mental Strongholds.” My strongholds are destroyed, and most of my bad memories are healed, but I still have some rewiring to do. Some people say reprogramming, but you get the idea.

Here are the steps I use to rewire my emotional responses.

Be aware of my emotions, even ambivalence.
Ask myself, “Why am I feeling this way?”
When in my past have I felt this feeling, and why?
Is the situation triggering a resentment or painful memory? If so, ask God to show me. Read my website book to learn how I resolve resentment and painful memories.
Am I disappointed? Why am I disappointed? What expectation was not met, even unspoken ones? Accept that I am not in control of how other people respond, but I can only control how I react and feel. To learn more, read How to Develop Emotional Resilience.
What unhealthy belief triggered this emotion? What is a healthy belief instead?
Have I given someone or a situation power to control my thoughts? Why?
What can I be thankful for?

Writing the answers to these questions is insightful, and they will help you train your brain to recognize and process negative emotions and remain in control. Though I tend to feel sad, I don’t need to let it control my thoughts. Changing my emotional response is improving as I change my thinking, which is a form of neuroplasticity. I am getting quicker at going through the eight steps when I experience a negative response.

Keep in mind that negative emotions increase the stress hormone cortisol, which triggers your body’s fight-or-flight response. I wrote about this in The Best Way to Manage Stress. When you think good or thankful thoughts, it triggers the feel-good neurotransmitter dopamine. The key is to recognize negative feelings and address them promptly, without ignoring them. Ignoring them does not change your ability to manage your emotions or stress in healthy way.

Here are several good articles. Rewiring the Traumatized Brain for Positivity

Discover evidence-based interventions to reduce chronic negative thinking.

From Triggered to Empowered: Rewiring Your Emotional Responses.

May God bless you as you grow a healthy response.

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My latest book is Unlocking God’s Promises, which explains 18 categories of promises that are relevant to each of our lives. It also includes the promises in Psalm 91.

If you find this website helpful, you would like to read Breaking Mental Strongholds, which expands on my website book and includes many of my posts.

Additionally, consider my book Fighting Unseen Battles, which describes the many unhealthy beliefs that control our lives and what the truths are. To learn more about this book, read the post How to Fight Unseen Battles.

Purpose, Sadness, and Loneliness

Do you have a sense of purpose for your life? Do you see how sadness is related to a lack of purpose? How do you know what your purpose is? To learn more, read my post called Know Your Purpose? In this post, we will explore why having a sense of purpose diminishes or eliminates sadness and loneliness. Webster’s dictionary defines purpose as to aim, intend, or resolve to do something good or achieve a goal.

Focusing on achieving a goal or doing something good takes your mind off what makes you sad or lonely. Having a purpose can diminish and even eliminate sadness when the source is feeling hopeless and despondent. Let’s face it, most of the time we feel sad, and it is most often about how we have been wronged. Yes, grieving is healthy sadness, but when you become sad because of a wrong, this can be diminished or eliminated. Often, when we suffer a loss, we also lose our sense of purpose. You will learn how to find another purpose despite the loss. Loneliness makes us feel sad because we don’t feel connected to others.

How Trials and Afflictions Make You Sad But Give You Purpose

I can give many examples, but here is one: when I was going through a difficult trial at work many years ago, I focused on earning a post-baccalaureate certificate and on writing my testimony in Hope For Complete Healing. Achieving goals helped me not feel despondent about the unfairness. I had to battle anxiety since I was the only one with a full-time job, and helping my son with his college tuition. At the very last minute (God’s timing), my husband was given a full-time job, which also helped my son with his tuition. God is faithful, and we can trust Him. God also gave me a new purpose for when I would be laid off: to write my first book and start my Hope for Complete Healing ministry.

The trials in my life prepared me for my purpose. Romans 8:28 states, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.” The condition is to love God and be called according to His purpose. His main purpose is for you to be conformed to the image of God. Verse 29a says, “For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son.” God foreknew everyone who would love Him. We are conformed to His image through affliction (James 1:2-4). King David said in Psalm 119:50, “This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life.” Knowing God’s promises comforts us and lifts our sadness. Afflictions contribute to depression, so knowing God’s promises and trusting Him will give you hope and a feeling of life. I wrote a book called Unlocking God’s Promises. I encourage you to get a copy to know God’s promises.

Where Does Our Purpose Come From?

Our emotions are complex, but know that you are made in the image of God, who has all the same emotions. Even in the midst of your suffering and sadness, you can find purpose. Consider the following purposes that God shows us in the Bible. A sense of purpose breaks the stronghold of loneliness as well.

Show others love as you would want to be loved.
Be kind to someone, even the person or people who are troubling or ignoring you.
Be patient when things don’t go as you want.
Be gentle when annoyed.
Spread joy by encouraging others, even when you feel discouraged.
Ease a burden for someone.
Seek peace with others and don’t argue.
Be faithful to your family and employer.
Be trustworthy and not lie.
Be self-controlled and do not indulge your unhealthy feelings or desires.
Be thankful for something, even that you are not a leper in India.
Pray for someone who is struggling.
Minister to widows and orphans by visiting or helping them.
Show hospitality.
Use your gifts to serve others.

All the above actions help you focus on others and not yourself. I learned that sadness is self-focused on what I think is unfair and on my wants and feelings. Loneliness is also self-focused. When you focus on others or achieving a goal, it gets your focus off yourself and your troubles. Try it, and tell me how you feel afterwards. As soon as you begin to think about “poor me” and how you are being wronged, or whatever it is, then choose something on the list above and focus on accomplishing that instead. Make a habit of focusing on others, and you will feel as if you have a purpose.

Conclusion

Here are a few, but not exhaustive, ways to overcome sadness.

Being sad is an emotional response to living in a sinful world with sinful people. Stay in prayer and forgiveness so you aren’t filled with toxic sadness and hopelessness.
Acknowledge that you are sad, which is okay, forgive, and look for ways to avoid focusing on how you or others were wronged.
Let the wrong define your purpose. If a friend’s husband leaves her for another woman, you can feel sad for her, but you now have an opportunity to serve and help her in her time of need. When I was going through a divorce and was a single mother, many people helped me. I have the purpose to help other single mothers who are struggling.
We will always be offended or feel hurt by someone. Forgive and don’t let the other person’s weakness steal your joy and peace. Pray for them.
Don’t make excuses that you were born melancholy; that is a non-biblical label and not how God intended you to exist. See yourself as God sees you, which you can read in my post called How Does God See You?.

May God bless you richly as you seek Him and become more like Him.

Related Posts:

HOW TO REPLACE SADNESS WITH REJOICING

Prevent Suicide and Addictions with Hope

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My latest book, Unlocking God’s Promises, explains 18 categories of promises that are relevant to each of our lives. It also includes the promises in Psalm 91.

If you find this website helpful, you would like to read Breaking Mental Strongholds, which expands on my website book and includes many of my posts.

Ten Ways to Overcome a Critical Spirit

Where does a Critical Spirit come from? We all tend to see how others can do better or be better, so we feel the need to tell them. This is not bad if it is done in love and received as being loving. Being criticized often feels like being judged. The problem is, we don’t like to be told what is wrong with what we did. When we feel criticized, we feel rejected, and we don’t want to be with the person who criticizes us. Has this ever happened to you? How did it make you feel? How is your relationship with the person who criticized you?

Why Are People Critical?

I was a very critical person for many years. The Lord showed me that I had low self-esteem, so I would criticize others to make myself look better. I had a judgmental stronghold that was built by a critical mother, and I felt like I could never be good enough. The critical spirit is fueled by anger. So the first way to overcome a critical spirit is to work through all the bad memories of when someone criticized you and you felt rejected. First, ask God to show you the earliest memory or strongest memory of when you felt judged or criticized (Psalm 139:23-24). Don’t relive the experience and don’t talk about it. Immediately forgive the person for what they said to you and ask God to release and heal the resentment, rejection, and anger you felt and still feel. Then ask God to remove the spirit attachment to that memory. Next, ask God to show you the next painful memory of criticism, then forgive, release, and remove the attached spirit. To learn more about how and why healing your memories changes your life, read my online book at hopeforcompletehealing.com.

How Do I Change My Heart From Critical to Caring?

The remaining nine ways to overcome a critical spirit are adapted from Counseling Through Your Bible Handbook by June Hunt.

Humble your heart to see your sin and your immense need for God’s mercy. Next, see others’ significance in God’s eyes, and when you criticize them, you hurt God. Pray and ask God to help you show the same grace to others that He shows you (James 4:11 and 2:13)
Put on and practice showing compassion for others (Col. 3:12). Look closely at the life of Christ to learn His compassionate way of confronting the truth. Pray that you will be controlled by Christ’s love for others (1Cor. 16:14 and 1John 4:7) .
Draw out the heartfelt needs of others (Prov. 20:5). Pray that God will give you a discerning spirit as you seek to draw others out and encourage them with what they are doing right.
Offer acceptance to others (Rom. 15:7). Realize that everyone has an innate fear of rejection and a deep yearning for acceptance. Pray and ask God to be a channel through which He extends His grace and values others.
See the God-given worth in others (Luke 12:6-7). Ask God to help you treat every person, especially the one most problematic to you, as someone with God-given worth. And pray that the Lord will not allow you to despise anyone whom He created and loves. If you despise someone, ask God to show you why, forgive them if they have hurt or disappointed you, then ask God to give you mercy toward that person.
Praise the positives in others (Phil. 4:8). Ask God to help you see the positive and right things people are doing, and be thankful. Also, ask Him to help you see others as He sees them and value them as He values them.
Refuse to wound others with words (Col. 3:16 and Eph. 4:29). Prayerfully consider the possibility that what you are criticizing in someone may be something God wants to deal with you about. Before speaking words of criticism, ask a wise friend to evaluate the content and tone of your words. Realize that after critical words are spoken, you can never take them back. If you need to share how someone has hurt you, ask God for the right words as His instrument for good, and pray that the other person will receive what you have to say.
See the unmet needs of others (Phil. 4:19). Instead of judging the inappropriate actions of others, seek to understand the need behind each action. If someone is critical of you, realize that their words reveal that they have unmet inner needs (for love, significance, or security). Realize that people don’t always mean what they say, nor understand their own deepest needs.
Rely on God’s Word and God’s Spirit for wisdom (Heb. 4:12). Memorize James 3:13-18 about what the wisdom from above is and is not. Pray that God’s Spirit will teach you spiritual truths and lead you to speak these truths in love (1Cor. 2:13).

Conclusion:

A criticism begins as a thought, which is in your control. Ask God if it is necessary for you to address the issue; if so, ask God how you should address the issue in love. For example, our church was practicing for the Christmas program. The choir director got mean with the children’s program director. I witnessed it and knew it needed to be addressed because the other person is easily offended. I prayed about how to address the critical words spoken by the choir director and asked God to direct my words. I called her, and when I described what I witnessed, she immediately saw her sin and repented. She called the children’s program director and apologized. The next Sunday morning, she apologized to the whole church. Since that time, I have noticed that she is more careful with her words. But the damage is done.

Jesus explains in His first sermon how we are to act as His followers. Matthew 7:12 “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.” Jesus also said in Matthew 22:37-40, “And he said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38) This is the great and first commandment. 39) And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. 40) On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.’” Let everything you do be done in love. Before you can love others well, you need to fix your love issues. See my page on resolving love issues.

Love From a Pure Heart

How to Respond to Criticism

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My latest book, Unlocking God’s Promises, explains 18 categories of promises that are relevant to each of our lives. It also includes the promises in Psalm 91.

If you find this website helpful, you would like to read Breaking Mental Strongholds, which expands on my website book and includes many of my posts.

The Best Way to Manage Stress

Would you agree that fear and powerlessness cause the greatest stress? For something to be stressful, it has to trigger an emotional response from the amygdala, the emotional part of your brain. When your amygdala is activated, it raises your cortisol levels, which is your stress hormone, and you have a physical reaction: either fight, flee, or freeze. The longer you remain in this stress reaction, the more adverse physical symptoms you will have. There are many articles about the effects of Cortisol and how to reduce stress, which I linked below. In this post, I want to share my experience on the best way to manage stress.

How to Overcome Stress – https://hopeforcompletehealing.com/2025/02/02/how-to-overcome-stress/

20 Ways to Relieve Stress – https://health.clevelandclinic.org/how-to-relieve-stress

Trauma and Cortisol: Their Impact on Mental Health – https://integratingpulse.com/articles/trauma-and-cortisol-mental-health-implications/

Managing Stress With Prayer

Friday nights, I go to the County Jail to lead a Bible Study with a co-teacher, Sandy. An inmate, who never went to church or read the Bible, asked if overcoming her addiction was as simple as praying. I said, “Yes.” So I put together a Bible study on prayer —why and how it works. During the next Bible study, a stressful situation happened to one of the inmates. But before I tell you about it, I need to share some of my Bible study so you understand how I helped the woman overcome the overwhelming stress.

I knew something was wrong because she turned red, was breathing faster, and looked terrified. I asked her what was wrong, and she said, “The CO (Correction Officer) was carrying reds.” I asked her what “reds” meant. She said you are put in a red uniform when you are in lockdown, and everything is taken from you. She felt she was going to be put in reds because of a verbal altercation she had with another member of the Bible Study, who then refused to come. The fear that the red uniform was for her sent her into a panic. I was on the spot to prove that prayer works.

How Prayer Works: Outline.

What is prayer? – It is our power connection (find an electric outlet). It’s useless unless you plug into it, but it is available when you need it. Prayer is useless until you plug into God, but you must be connected to Him through believing. (1Cor. 2:5, Rom. 1:6, 1Cor. 1:18).

What is faith? – It is our connection to God as we trust Him. Faith is our power cord that connects our spirit to God, the Almighty Spirit. He is our power source that we access through faith (Heb. 11:1 & verse 6, Gal. 5:5).

What is submission? – To yield to the authority, control, and power of another, also called surrendering. Submission turns on the power and allows God’s power to work in your life. If you are prideful and want to stay in control, then your prayer does not turn the power on. Submitting to God’s will allows His power to flow in your life and make changes.

What is sin? – It is disobedience to God, and it separates us from God, so our prayers are not effective until we repent and submit to God’s will. Sin causes power outages that need to be fixed so power can flow again. Sin separates you from God (Is. 5 9:1-2 and Ps. 66:18). Repair the break through confessing and repenting (1John 1:9, Acts 3:19, 8:22).

To learn more about prayer, please see my page called “Posts about Prayer.”

Why Prayer Works: Outline

I then explained to the girls the four realities of the Spirit world to understand why prayer works. Read my post called “Four Realities of the Spirit World” for complete details.

Reality one: We are spiritual beings in a physical body living in a spirit world within a physical world. (Jm. 2:26, Lk 23:46, Acts 7:59).

Reality two: God is an eternal Spirit being, which means He has always existed. He is also an all-powerful Spirit-being that is present everywhere. (Rev. 1:8, 1Cor. 2:11, John 4:24, 2Cor 3:17).

God’s desire from the beginning of time is to be in a loving fellowship with mankind. Fellowship also means companionship, and some call it a relationship. (1Cor. 1:9, 1John 1:3, and Isaiah 41:10-13 tell us that God holds our hand through our spiritual being.

Reality three: The devil and demons are evil spirits who are fallen angels. These evil spirits want to keep us from being in fellowship with God. And they will deceive and tempt us to please our sinful, fleshly desires and live independently of God. (1Peter 5:8-9, Matt. 4:1-11). James 4:7-8; “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8) Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.”

Reality four: God the Holy Spirit replaces our sin-corrupted spirits and gives us a new life, and we become born again spiritually (see 1Peter 1:3 & 1 Cor 6:17). We get this new life when we believe with our heart and confess out loud that Jesus Christ is God the Son, who died to pay the debt for sin, forgives our sins, and frees us from sin’s control (see John 1:29; 1John 4:15; 1Peter 1:18-19; Colossians 1:14; & Galatians 5:1).

Conclusion:

Because God is our power source, and prayer is how we access His power, this makes prayer the best way to manage our stress and also become free from addictions and habitual sin. So, when Amanda had the stress reaction, I had her practice praying and giving her fearful thoughts to God and to bring in His peace and joy, and if she were put into reds and locked down, that God had a purpose for it. Rather than letting Satan steal your peace and joy, take the fearful thoughts captive, command them to be gone, and then focus on praising God. She immediately calmed down. I told her that it is okay to be upset when something bad happens, but dwelling on it will give fear power over your emotions and behavior. Praying causes you to focus on God’s power to help you. Where you allow your mind to focus will be the direction you go. Do you want to live in fear and anxiety or in peace and joy? Prayer is the best way to manage stress.

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My latest book, Unlocking God’s Promises, explains 18 categories of promises that are relevant to each of our lives. It also includes the promises in Psalm 91.

If you find this website helpful, you would like to read Breaking Mental Strongholds, which expands on my website book and includes many of my posts.