Freedom from the Snares of Disrespect, Unworthiness, and Failure

Have you been disrespected, demeaned, and feel like a failure?  Do you feel unworthy to be respected?  Do you find yourself being disrespectful when others fail to meet your expectations or know someone who is disrespectful to you when you fail? Do you bad mouth people and treat them as lower than yourself? Do you feel unworthy of respect, or are you treating others as unworthy of respect? All bad behavior has a source. So, don’t make excuses, but ask God, “Why am I behaving this way?” “What is the root or source behind my behavior?” “Why am I being disrespected and am I attracting disrespectful behavior?

The following my testimony of the connection between disrespect, unworthiness, and failure. For example, if my husband did not meet my expectations, then I would demean him, which is not godly behavior. God wants us to value others and to honor them; therefore, being disrespectful is not loving and is a sin. So, I asked God to show me the root of why I was being irritated. He revealed that I had painful memories of not being valued as a child or by my first husband. I also had disdain for my first husband because of his abusiveness. Additionally, I was influenced by my mother’s disrespect and contempt for my father. Therefore, I developed unhealthy beliefs and wrong thinking that caused my sinful behavior of disrespect.

God also revealed that I felt like a failure as a child, especially with schoolwork and reading. I was told I should have been in special education classes, but my mother fought against it. I’m sure, you can think of the times when you failed, and others may have treated you as unworthy and disrespected you as well. Failure was the outer mental stronghold that reinforced the inner stronghold of unworthiness. Both mental strongholds protected the authority seat of disrespect, which held the memories of the offenses I had of disdain, dishonor, and rude behaviors. I also realized that disrespect was a generational sin because I observed the same responses in other family members.

The following is the definition of mental strongholds for those who are just learning about them.  You can also find many examples on my website. Mental strongholds are the mental fortresses that would look like castle walls if they had a physical form.  Bad memories build these mental strongholds to protect us from more hurt. But in fact, they keep us from experiencing life and love. Strongholds are usually built to protect an unhealthy belief or beliefs generated by bad experiences that we have often forgotten about but still control us. Visit my website for more details about the many unhealthy beliefs we can have. Authority seats are like thrones within a fortified castle. A ruler builds a fortress to protect his or her interests and authority to rule. Our mental strongholds need to be torn down so they can stop controlling our reactions and decisions.

The following are some of the unhealthy beliefs I had. “I am not worthy of respect, and no one else is worthy of my respect.” “I am inferior to others and deserve to be treated as inferior.” “I have no value and what I have to say is not valued.” “Men are not worthy of respect because they fail to meet expectations.” There are many other unhealthy beliefs associated with these two strongholds.  I replaced these unhealthy beliefs with the truths found in the section on my website called MEEKNESS/HUMILITY ISSUES.  Can you see the connection now between failure, feeling unworthy, and disrespect for yourself and others?

There is hope for complete healing and transformation, please read the pages on my website to learn how.

 

Author: Joyce Holzman Hanscom

I am working with the women in the county jail to transform their painful memories and negative heart issues so they can make good decisions. I am also a Sunday School and Bible teacher, trained initially as a computer science teacher.

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