Words – Hope for Complete Healing

Three Steps to Renew Your Mind (Part Two)

Have you seen transformation shows on TV? Isn’t it amazing how they transform people, houses, yards, and furniture? I refinished a lot of furniture in my time, and the part I hated most was stripping off the old paint. But it was worth the effort when the project was completed. Renewing your mind is a similar process. The mind determines what you think, perceive, feel, and believe, which then influences your decisions and behaviors. So, when you renew your mind you are transforming your life.

First, gather your supplies, in the case of renewing your mind, you must make sure you have God’s forgiveness and salvation through Jesus Christ. Read part one if you haven’t already; Forgiven and Saved? Now Renew Your Mind (Part One)

Next, find out what you are dealing with, ask God to search your heart and mind to show what sinful and wrong thoughts control your behavior (Jeremiah 17:10; Revelation 2:23; Psalm 139:23-24). Write them down so you know what to tackle first. To make this job easier, you need to remove pride first, read The Core Negative Heart Issue

The two tools you need are Scripture and prayer. The prayer tool is the binding and loosing principle. Matthew 16:19b and 18:18 states, “…whatever you bind (Greek meaning: knit, tie, fasten) on earth will be bound in heaven; and whatever you loose (Greek meaning: release, destroy, put off) on earth will be loosed in heaven.” You loose wrong thoughts the same way you loose and remove rust and old paint, then you bind on truthful thoughts the same way you put on a new coat of paint. To learn more about authority in prayer read; Four Reasons for Authority in Prayer

Ephesians 4:22-24 explains the instructions, “put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires (lusts), and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.” Corrupt in this passage means perverted, which deviates from what is right, natural, or true. Deceit is the act of representing as true what is false; a lie; a trick. Lust is an intense desire to gratify the senses; bodily appetite or pleasure.

Do these three exercises to renew your mind and transform your life:

Put off fleshly desires (sin nature). “For the mind set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God” (see Romans 8:7-8). Gal 5:19-21 states, “Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.” Colossians 3:5-7 tells us to, “Put to death (crucify); therefore, what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. 6) On account of these, the wrath of God is coming. 7) In these, you too once walked, when you were living in them.” We have divine power to take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ Jesus (see 2Corinthians 10:3-5). Begin by removing one sinful, wrong thought at a time. Next, put on the corresponding characteristic of the Holy Spirit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness/meekness, faithfulness/truthfulness, and Self-control found on my website.

Put on your new self, which is the image of God, righteous and holy. Review Ephesians 4:23-24 above. Colossians 3:10 also states, “put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator (Jesus).” Wow! Our new self is in the likeness and image of Jesus, and we are righteous and holy (see Eph. 4:24)! Our new self does not automatically happen in one instance, but we transform one thought at a time by renewing our minds with the truth of God’s Word.

Now live according to the Spirit by setting your mind on the things of the Spirit, which is truth. Just as you live, abide, and spend time in your home, live, abide, and spend time in God’s Word. Read my post called; Can You Be Too Heavenly Minded?

John 8:31-32 states, “So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Also, John 15:7 tells us, “If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.” What a great promise.

Romans 8:13-14 states, “For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons [and daughters] of God.”

Gal 5:16 states, “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” Live and walk according to the Spirit by showing His fruit in your life. – Galatians 5:22-24 states, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24) And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.” You keep your mind on the Spirit by turning every thought into a prayer, praising Him, and pondering Scripture.

You also need to renew your painful memories, explained in my book on my website. Also, on my website is a worksheet for each characteristic of the fruit of the Spirit. Each worksheet lists wrong thoughts, beliefs, right thoughts, and transformational truth statements.

I hope the information in this post helps you to be victorious over sin and addictions. Renewing our inner self is a day by day process. There is hope for complete healing and victory as you submit your mind to God and His truth in His Word. I appreciate your comments because I like to learn from others.

Five Steps to Heal Your Heart and Purify Your Soul

Begin reading my book: 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

Psalm 91:7-10 — PROTECTED FROM EVIL AND HARM

In verses five and six, we learned that we do not have to fear unseen evil if we stay under the protection of the wings of God’s truth and faithfulness (vs. 4). The next two verses are hard to understand if we do not have the vantage point of dwelling by faith in the secret place of God (verses one and two).

Psalm 91:7-8 states, “A thousand may fall at your side and ten thousand [myriad] at your right hand, but it will not come near you. 8) You will only look with your eyes and see the recompense (reward) of the wicked.”

[!] What comes to your mind when you read these two verses?

These two verses are a promise of deliverance and protection from the recompense or repayment of evil. We do not have to fear the calamity God sends on the wicked when we take refuge in Him and trust Him to protect us. Remember, the wicked are those who do evil by harming people instead of loving them. Many who claim to be Christians are wicked because they do not love God by obeying Him and love others as He loves. See post called: EVIL—What is it and what is the remedy?

I was in many situations where I was being wronged and I had to trust God. I claimed Isaiah 54:17 which says, “no weapon formed against me will prosper!” I also claimed Isaiah 41:10 which states “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed (anxiously look about), for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” I used the power of my words, and I claimed these verses over my situations, and I had perfect peace.

The following passage explains why focusing on God keep us from being afraid. Psalms 112:7-8 states, “He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm (steadfast), trusting in the Lord. 8) His heart is steady (secure); he will not be afraid until he looks in triumph on his adversaries.”

The next two verses summarize the first eight verses. In verse ten, the word “evil” is interpreted as threatening or bringing misfortune and disaster.

Psalm 91:9-10 states, “Because you have made the Lord your dwelling (refuge), the Most High who is my refuge (dwelling place). 10) No evil (harm) will be allowed to befall you, nor will any plague (disaster) come near your tent (dwelling).”

[!] What does it look like to spiritually and mentally dwell with the Lord?

As our earthly dwellings are our physical refuge from wild animals, the cold, heat, rain, and storms, so we spiritually dwell in the shelter of God through our spirits and minds through continual praise and prayer. Continual praise and prayer protect us from the storms of life by taking our focus off the storm and putting it onto God, who is our protector. For example, a Christian family trusted God to protect their home during a terrible hurricane. When the hurricane past, their house was the only one standing, sustaining very little damage.

There were many times I had to trust God for protection. One of those times was during a great wind storm. I became fearful because many huge trees surround my house. I had peace when I prayed verses nine and ten over my property, that no trees would come down and no harm would come to my home. After the storm, my neighbors all had more than one tree come down, but no trees on my property came down. What was more amazing was that four trees fell all in a line, just on the other side of my property line. God answers prayer, so we do not have to be afraid. Note, Psalms 91:10 also includes protection for everyone in your dwelling.

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

Psalm 91:5-6 – DO NOT FEAR THE UNSEEN

When we find refuge under the wings of God’s truth and faithfulness, we do not have to fear the unseen. To fear is to feel anxious or agitated by the presence or nearness of real or imagined danger, evil, pain, etc.

Psalms 91:5-6 states, “You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day; 6) nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness, nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.”

Albert Barnes wrote in his commentary that the Septuagint (one of the first Bible translations) and the Latin Vulgate interpret verse six as “Nor of mischance and the demon of noonday.” Mischance means an unfortunate accident or bad luck. I believe the earlier translations are closer to the original text because I see this Psalm describing how we are protected from the demonic spirits that attack our minds. Also, I interpret the terror of the night as bad dreams and discomforts Satan puts on us while we sleep. The next two testimonies illustrate this.

Mark Brubeck believes that many afflictions are from demonic attacks. In his book, The Adversary, he wrote the following account. His daughter was 11 years old when she became afflicted by fears, physical nausea, and colitis symptoms at bedtime, which became progressively worse as the night went on. Medical professionals could not help her. Mark and his wife suspected demons were to blame. So, they prayed over her commanding the demon(s) causing the fear, nausea, colitis, destruction, and deception to come out of her. The demon(s) left her, and she had no more fear and digestive issues during the night. Brubeck believes Satan will use every opportunity we give him to claim ground against us. Fear opens our mind to allow demons to access our emotions and physical health. So, we should verbally pronounce God’s protection over our minds.

Maxwell Whyte shared the following incident in his book, Demons & Deliverance, of a demonic attack that happened to him and his wife. One night, he felt his life was being choked out of him to the point of near death. He wrote that he cried “the blood” three times, and a demon departed. The next night the same thing happened to his wife, and she called on the blood of Christ. Whyte believes no demon can afflict those who apply by faith the blood of Christ and testify of God’s protection (see Revelations 12:11). Remember, our words have power, especially when we use the name of Jesus and the authority, we have in Him. I explain this in greater detail in the book listed on this website. 2–Removing Blocks to Healing

I interpret the arrow that flies by day as the lies and accusations Satan shoots into our minds (see Ephesians 6:14-17). He also puts false beliefs into our minds that do not line up with the truth of God’s Word. The pestilence that stalks in darkness is the shameful allurements Satan uses to cause us to want to sin. Remember, all actions begin with a thought, which we can take captive and make it obey Christ Jesus. We don’t see deception coming, but if we continually hide in the shelter of God through prayer, praise, pondering, and believing the truth, then we won’t fear because we will be under His protection.

Fear should alert us that we are not praying and trusting God. Fear is believing and confessing wrong thoughts and false beliefs. 2 Corinthians 5:7 states, “for we walk by faith, not by sight.” Faith is the opposite of fear. Faith finds refuge in the promises and truths of God. On the other hand, fear focuses on the problem which makes us vulnerable to being wounded in our souls.

For example, David did not deny the existence of the giant (see 1 Samuel 17). He compared the size of the giant to the size of God. By faith David chose to believe the promises of God and defeated the giant. In the same way, Satan attempts to paralyze us with fear so that we lose our confidence in God. The story of David and Goliath is a classic example of being paralyzed by fear. Goliath used the power of his words to intimidate and inflict terror on the Israeli army, which immobilized them.

The prophet Elijah was paralyzed by fear when Jezebel vowed to kill him after he had slaughtered the Baal prophets on Mt. Carmel (see 1 Kings 18). Ironically, he became fearful after God demonstrated His power on Mt. Carmel. What did he fear? Did he not believe God could deliver him from the hand of Jezebel? Words have power, and they create thoughts in our minds which then control our emotions and actions. We can take those thoughts captive by loosing them and binding in the truths found in the Word of God.

[!] Do you find yourself being immobilized by a fear that prevents you from being able to reason normally?

Fears can be overwhelming. Most fears, especially irrational fears, originating from what we watch on TV or in the movies, or what we read. For example, irrational fear controls the decisions of people who are preparing for the worst disasters that may never happen.

!! Ask God to show you any words spoken or things you have seen that cause you to fear.

!! Use the power of your words to loose the memory of these words or images from your mind.

Read through all the Psalms and note every passage related to protection, deliverance from troubles, and God as our refuge. This exercise will greatly encourage you and strengthen your faith.

Related Posts:

Four Realities of the Spirit World

Thoughts That Create Peace Within and Without

ANXIETY: Protected by Worry and Fear Strongholds

ALL THOUGHTS ARE WITHIN OUR CONTROL

15 Promises We Can Trust God to Keep

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

Psalm 91:2–TRUST FOR HEAVENLY PROTECTION

Psalms 91:2 states, “I will say to the Lord, ‘my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.’”

Our words have power because words create thoughts; thoughts create feelings and beliefs; beliefs produce behavior that influences our destiny. To proclaim the Lord is your refuge is to claim that He is your protection from danger or difficulty and is a place of safety. A fortress is a secure place that offers protection or a place of defense. So, when we dwell in the shelter of God through prayer, praise, and pondering Scripture, then we will be protected from evil and temptations. God wants us to trust Him by believing and having confidence in His protection. To know more about trusting God, read these blogs: 15 Promises We Can Trust God to Keep and Trust God to Keep His Promises

What keeps us from seeking shelter in God?

One reason we don’t seek the shelter of God is because we are focused on our problems instead of giving our problems to God. Many times, we try to solve our problems without God, which does not work out well. Sometimes we seek the pleasures of this world instead of seeking God. Also, pride and sinfulness keep many of us from seeking God because we think we don’t need Him. Often, we don’t think to pray and trust God. And, we think we can take care of our problems or trust in others or the government to help us. My friend, Mary Fisher, shared with me that “Some people let guilt and feelings of unworthiness keep them from seeking God. We need to realize we are never worthy of going before God, even when we think we’ve been good. And we are never un-welcome if we come with humble and repentant hearts. Coming before God honestly is hard because we must face up to our sins. But He wants to forgive us and for us to leave our sins at the cross.”

What are the benefits of going to God for our protection and trusting Him to help us?

Meditate (think deeply about; reflect; ponder) on the following Scriptures about trusting God. Identify the benefits of trusting Him.

Psalm 9:10 states, “And those who know Your name put their trust in You, for You, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek You.”

Psalm 56:3 states, “When I am afraid, I put my trust in You.”

Psalm 56:11 states, “In God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can man do to me?”

Psalms 62:8 states, “Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. “

Psalm 115:11 states, “You who fear the LORD, trust in the LORD! He is their help and their shield.” Proverb 14:26 also states, “In the fear of the LORD is strong confidence: and His children shall have a place of refuge.”

Psalm 118:8 states, “It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man.”

Psalm 118:9 states, “It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in princes.”

Proverb 3:5 states, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.”

Remember, words have power, so claim the following verses by personalizing them and praying with thankfulness. If you are keeping a journal then write out two prayers per Scripture passage beginning with “I will say, I…” and “Thank you Lord for….”

Joel 3:10b states, “Let the weak say, ‘I am strong; NIV, a warrior; ESV, a mighty man; NAS.’”

Psalm 27:1 David states, “The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

Psalm 142:5 David states, “I cry to You, O LORD; I say;’ You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living.’”

Isaiah 41:13 states, “For I, the LORD your God, holds your right hand; it is I who say to you, ‘Fear not, I am the one who helps you.’”

Psalm 46:1 states, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.”

Psalm 18:2 states, “The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.”

Psalm 31:19 states, “Oh, how abundant is Your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear You and worked for those who take refuge in You, …”

Proverb 18:10 states, “The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous runs into it and are safe.”

Psalm 124:7,8 states, “We have escaped like a bird from the snare of the fowlers (demons); the snare is broken, and we have escaped! Our help is in the name of the Lord, who made heaven and earth.”

What does it mean to take refuge?

What would seeking refuge in God look like in your life according to these verses?

How would the name of the Lord be a strong tower, and what would it mean to run into it and be safe?

How can a Spirit be a fortress, a strong tower, or a rock in which we can take refuge?

When you think of a fortress you think of something strong that protects you. We can trust God to protect us from Satan’s unseen schemes, and troubles from demonic forces of darkness because God is stronger and mightier than the devil and demons of this world. Just think, He parted the Red Sea to save over a million people, who crossed on dry ground to escape the Egyptian army (see Exodus 14:13-31). Archeologists have now discovered Egyptian chariots at the bottom of the Red Sea. Furthermore, God caused the walls of Jericho to fall except the part of the wall where Rahab the harlot lived, because she trusted and believed God would protect her and her family. She also helped the Israelite spies escape and asked God to save her and her family (see Joshua 6:1-27).

God performed hundreds of miracles of protection and deliverance for people just like you and me, which are recorded throughout the Bible. How can we not trust Him? Remember, “Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world” (see 1 John 4:4b). I highly recommend reading missionary biographies to see that God continues to do miracles on behalf of those who put their trust in Him. I highly recommend reading George Muller’s biography to see how God miraculously answered his prayers of faith.

Why do we doubt that God can be our refuge?

By saying, “the Lord is my refuge and fortress,” we are placing our mind and spirits under the protection of the Spirit of God our Lord. When we turn to God to shield and protect us, then the evil spirits flee (see James 4:7). Unless we draw near to God, repent of sin, and continually think of Him and His truths, we will be vulnerable to the lies and temptations that demons use to entrap and harm us.

Read my other related posts:

Four Realities of the Spirit World

HOW PRIDE DESTROYS

WORDS HAVE POWER—Part I: Overcoming The Destruction of Offensive Words

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

Thoughts That Create Peace Within and Without

We learned in the last two posts that our thoughts control our destiny, and we can control our thoughts. Please read my previous two posts if you haven’t already. In this post, I want to share more specifically how to control your thoughts. In the post called ALL THOUGHTS ARE WITHIN OUR CONTROL, I explained how I tend to let my thinking go to extremes of anger, and then to worry. I use the truths in the Bible for my inspiration because it is the authority for how we should think. How we think dictates how well we love.

To break my negative thought cycles, I would consciously choose to “rejoice always, pray without ceasing, and in everything give thanks for this is God’s will” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). To rejoice always is to choose to focus your thoughts continually on things that make you glad, happy, or delighted. Rejoice in Jesus and how you are forgiven and free from the control of sin, etc. Rejoice in the fact that God is faithful, and nothing is impossible with Him.

Next, pray without ceasing by turning every thought into a prayer. If you think of someone, pray for them. If you are upset about something, ask God to help you forgive or whatever you need God to do. If you are tempted to give in to your fleshly desires, pray for help to resist. By praying we are practicing the presence of God in our lives as Brother Lawrence teaches.

In everything give thanks, which does not leave anything out. Have an attitude of gratitude. Imagine, if you rejoice, pray, and be thankful all the time, you would never be depressed, miserable, angry, etc. When I focus my thoughts on these three things, I feel peaceful, so I don’t act miserably and make others miserable. Breaking negative thought cycles takes work and discipline, but it is well worth it.

The Apostle Paul also taught the Philippians how to safeguard their minds. In Philippians 4:4-8 he lays out four ways to create a healthy thought life.

Have an attitude of praise and gratitude. “Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again: Rejoice!” (Phil. 4:4 NIV) – To rejoice in the Lord always is to worship the Lord and all He is with thanksgiving. Philippians 3:1 also states, “Finally, my brethren, rejoice in the Lord. …it is a safeguard for you.” A safeguard is a protective stipulation. Rejoicing protects our minds from destructive thoughts of anger, malice, envy, worry, fear, etc. Things to rejoice and be glad for, and be thankful for, can be found in Who God is — Daily A-C-T-S Prayers, I encourage you to add this page to your favorite list and visit this page daily.
Let prayer occupy your thoughts all the time, especially during times of emotional stress. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” (Phil. 4:6 NIV). Also, Ephesians 6:18 states, “And pray in the Spirit on all occasions (all the time) with all kinds of prayers and requests.” So, how do we pray in the Spirit all the time? It is our spirit with the Holy Spirit in us that prays through our minds to God. Read Four Realities of the Spirit World to learn about the interactions of the spirit world. You can also pray in the spirit through a spiritual language you receive when you pray for the power of the Holy Spirit to fill you (see Acts 19:6 and 1 Corinthians 14:2&14). Prayer with thanksgiving is a way to productively channel your emotional energy. If you tend to worry or be angry, then read the following posts to learn how to be free to choose different thoughts and break the cycle: Anger Issues Protected by Pride and Judgmental Strongholds and ANXIETY: Protected by Worry and Fear Strongholds
Choose where you let your thoughts dwell. You have control of your thoughts, so use that control to your benefit and the benefit of others. “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble (honorable), whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” (Phil. 4:8 NIV emphasis added) – Be proactive about your thought life! Choose to think true and positive thoughts described in this verse. Write down an example for each type of thought that would pertain to your life. For example:

True thoughts are based on what you read in the Bible, so focus on scriptural truths about yourself, others, God, and the world around you. My short book on this website has over 100 true thoughts to think on.
Noble or honorable thoughts could be thoughts about what you can do to help others or to show kindness to a crabby person, or show love to someone who is difficult to love, etc.
Right thoughts could be thoughts about what is good and what you like about a person or something. For example, I must walk a ½ mile to my office building from where I park. When the weather is crappy, it is hard to have right thoughts. Right thoughts are to think of the good exercise I am getting that I wouldn’t get otherwise, the fresh air I am breathing to detoxify my lungs and body, more time to pray, etc.
Pure thoughts could be thinking good about people and not judgmental thoughts. Choose to think pure thoughts about the opposite sex, instead of obscene thoughts. Choose to view movies and TV shows or read material that generate pure thoughts. In Psalms 101:3a, King David said, “I will set no worthless thing before my eyes;” Make this verse your priority to protect your mind from wicked and evil words and images, so your thoughts remain pure.
Lovely thoughts could be thinking about someone you love or thinking about how much God loves you that He would send His son to die and atone for our sin. And how His son, Jesus, would willingly do this for ungrateful people who reject Him.
Admirable thoughts could be thoughts that marvel at God’s creation, goodness, and mercy. Or, think about things that are done excellently, like a beautiful garden or some other good works.

Your thoughts determine the beliefs and attitudes of your heart. When you practice thinking the thoughts listed above your mind is at peace, and you will be at peace with others and life. “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 4:7 NIV) – This verse is conditional and is based on following the previous principles of thinking. So, when you rejoice, pray, be thankful, and think good thoughts, you are inviting God into your thought life and valuing yourself and others.

Thoughts come from all directions. Thoughts come from our experiences and the words we read and hear. I wrote two posts about the power of our words and how they influence us.

WORDS HAVE POWER—Part I: Overcoming The Destruction of Offensive Words

WORDS HAVE POWER—PART II: Words produce death or life energy

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

#1 Destroyer of All Relationships and the Solution

Let’s explore the reasons people break off a relationship, quite a job, or divorce. When we know a cause then we can find a solution. I was the kind of person that was upset about everything though I wanted peace. I was quick to get angry. Why? After many years of research and thinking deeply of possible causes, I figured out the solution. After trying the solution, I can testify it works. I chose the picture above as an example of what is destroying relationships today; offenses from political differences.

Think back to a time you were upset about something. Why were you upset? What caused you to get upset? Does the picture of this post upset you? In this post I want to challenge you to think deeply about what causes arguments and strife. It is helpful to journal your thoughts concerning causes for strife in your relationships.

Let’s begin our exploration with the following understanding. Most of us are self-centered people, and we live and work with self-centered people, who want our own way. And, we don’t know how to love well. Would you agree?

Whatever the reasons for strife, it always comes down to someone becoming offended, then getting upset. An offense is a resentment, hurt feeling, or displeasure from unfairness, mistreatment, disrespect, betrayal, being ignored or not getting what they want. Becoming offended can happen many times a day, especially when you have to share the road with other drivers or space with another person or watching the news. So, be mindful of the times you are annoyed, angry, miffed, irritated, frustrated, etc. Why? Really think about why. Why do you think you got offended?

A major cause of strife is pride. Pride caused me to be offended most of the time. I would think the following thoughts: “How dare someone (fill in the blank).” “They had no right to do that.” “Who do they think they are?” If you were honest as to why you get upset, you too would recognize a pride issue. Please read my post on pride to learn more: HOW PRIDE DESTROYS

Another cause for strife is when someone says something hurtful that creates an offense in our hearts. Often words hurt our pride. A person’s words reveal the condition of their heart. Therefore, the person saying the hurtful words is also hurting from offenses they have stored in their hearts. Read the following posts for a better understanding: WORDS HAVE POWER—Part I: Overcoming The Destruction of Offensive Words and WORDS HAVE POWER—PART II: Words produce death or life energy

Another cause for strife is unrealistic expectations. For example, I became upset with my husband because he did not take care of me when I was sick like his father takes care of his mother. This is an unrealistic expectation because my husband is not like his father, and it is not reasonable for me to expect him to be. Once I realized why I was offended, then I could deal with it rationally. But before I rationally thought through why I was irritated with my husband, I said a hurtful things to him. My hurtful words caused him to become offended, then he said hurtful things back. Do you see how this situation could escalate quickly and dissolve the relationship?

Unresolved negative issues also cause strife. For example, I became offended by the words on an anniversary card my wonderful husband gave me. The card reminded me of an unresolved painful issue with my first husband. Unfortunately, I allowed the offense to get into my heart and control my feelings, and I became miserable and said hurtful things. When I dealt with the negative issue with my first husband that caused me to be offended, then I could resolve my offense and live in peace. To become free from the control of our past negative heart issues and painful memories, I invite you to visit my website and read my short book: 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

As soon as we recognize we do not have peace, we should ask if we are offended. When we become offended, we enter the fight-or-flight mode. The fight-or-flight stress response stimulates the lower brain and we enter survival mode. Survival mode stops us from thinking rationally about the situation, which is why relationships dissolve quickly. You know you are in survival mode when you become upset when a goal or expectation is not met. If you see yourself losing control of your emotions, walk back your emotions and ask, why am I upset? Why is this important to me? What is my part in this disagreement or unexpected negative situation? What solution do I need for a win/win? What am I willing or not willing to do? Consider if the concern causing you to lose peace is within your circle of influence. If it is not, then let it go or pray about it. These are only suggested questions to help you think rationally and not reactively.

Think about the last argument you were in or the last time you were frustrated. Using the definition of an offense, which is a resentment, hurt feeling, or displeasure from (fill in the blank), can you identify what you or the other person was offended about? As you may have already figured out, being offended is the single most destructive force in any relationship. But once you discover the cause of the offense then you can work to solve it. My short book called “Hope for Complete Healing” on my website identifies many causes for offense and the solution. I encourage you to read it so you can love well and have stronger relationships.

Follow these seven actions for a great relationship, or eight for SUPER GREAT!

1) Always stay in forgiveness and do not hold grudges. Expect that your partner/spouse/friend will let you down and may not meet your expectations from time to time. Being offended blocks love, kindness, peace, joy, and patience.
2) Be thankful for strengths and abilities and focus on these. It is easy to focus on what you don’t like and tell them about it.
3) Be committed. Genuine commitment is to be wholly focused on what is best and what will strengthen the relationship.
4) Communicate complete thoughts. Don’t assume the other person heard you or understands. Have a respectful discussion to help you convey your meaning and expectations. Don’t mind read and make assumptions. Seek to understand what the other person is thinking without being critical.
5) Resolve conflicts using the “pen method.” The person holding the pen explains their perspective and logic. Then hand the pen to the other person, and they reflect on what they heard you say and explains their perspective and rationale. Go back and forth until you come to a win/win for both people.
6) Create a relationship vision or mission statement. Ask yourself and each other this question: “How do I want our relationship to be in 5, 10, 15, or 30 years. Write out a plan to accomplish your vision or mission.
7) Work through past issues, so your reactions and expectations are not controlled by your past.
8) Make the Lord and the Word of God a priority in your life and relationships. The Bible says the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, so if you want to be wise, then God needs to be your source.

If you ever get a chance, go to a Mark Gungor marriage seminar called “Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage.” He is funny and to the point. Go to https://markgungor.com/. On this website is a test that determines what motivates you the most. He calls it the Flag Page, because it determines what country you are from: Control, Perfect, Peace, or Fun. Finding out what motivated me was very helpful to understand why I do what I do. It was also very helpful to know what motivates my husband.

To learn healthy behaviors for a healthy relationship, I encourage you to read the adapted summary of “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey. Healthy Thinking and Behaving from Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

All verses are from the English Standard Bible. If you find my posts and website helpful, please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected, and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Check out my first book on Amazon. I would love to hear what you think.

If you read my book and find it helpful, please leave a review. Also, if you want to do a Bible study with it, email me and ask for a free PDF of the leader’s guide. The PDF will have suggested discussion questions after each section. Quick links to all the scriptures in the endnotes for you to review or to copy and paste into your notes. Website links to review supporting material. Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. I will also send you the Lord’s Prayer Model to pray effectively. Please leave your name, so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

WORDS HAVE POWER—PART II: Words Produce Death or Life Energy

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21a). The subject of words having power is not a new idea, but so often we forget that our words have power. What happens when someone says hurtful things to you? How do you respond? How about when someone encourages you? How does that make you feel? Words can cripple us or help us soar and accomplish great things.

Consider the following; anytime we speak an unloving, hurtful word to someone, we are wounding the other person and bringing death to that relationship. Would you agree? Also, anytime we speak a negative word about ourselves and our ability; it produces death to our potential. For example, when I believe and say, “I cannot do this;” well then, I won’t be able to do it. If I believe and say, “I’m too stupid,” “I’ll never get this;” well then, I have destroyed my potential ability.

For example, when I told my mother I was going to college, she told me I was too stupid. This comment affected me for several decades. I went to college anyway and graduated. I struggled, but I more than compensated with my other abilities and God’s help. Thirty years later, I contemplated taking graduate-level classes. I was speaking death into my ability because of the words my mother spoke over me many years earlier. First, I forgave her and asked God to take that word curse off me. Second, I was encouraged by the truth in 1 Corinthians 2:16b which states, “But we have the mind of Christ.” This encouragement gave me hope, and I immediately said, yes, I can go to graduate school because with Christ’s mind I could do it. I spoke this truth and it changed my thinking, which affected the course of my life. I applied to graduate school and was accepted. And, because I relied on Christ’s ability and not my insecurity, I did very well.

Can our words bring literal death to a person? I believe it could, especially when we speak words like, I wish you were dead, or it would be better if you would be gone. If you are struggling with these types of word curses, please visit my website to learn how to overcome them. Often these people, who hear these words, commit suicide because of the spirit of rejection is so heavy on them. We need words of encouragement that give hope and empowerment. The Word of God is full of encouragement and words of hope. Read through the nine “Issues Worksheets” on my website to fill your mind with empowering truth and hope. Go to hopeforcompletehealing.com

Furthermore, we all want to be loved and to love. So, when you speak destructive words of rejection to or about someone, you release the negative energy of that word. For example, one inmate in my bible study said that she was told she would be a failure. Being adopted, she already felt rejection, then her adopted mother who believed in her died when she was young. She believed she would be a failure and the feelings of rejection influenced her to make many wrong decisions, which ultimately caused her to end up in jail. Once she became aware of the curses put on her, she forgave the people and put off the curses. She transformed right in front of me, and I saw a tremendous peace and joy come over her. Once we become aware of curses spoken to us by others, we too can verbally loose and put them off and then bind in the truth of God’s Word.

Remember the saying “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” This saying is a lie. Hurt people, who have been offended by unloving words and deeds, continue to hurt people. My first husband would speak words of death over me all the time, and I became very depressed and suicidal. My psychologist told me that his opinion was not the truth. My ex-husband was a hurting little boy from an alcoholic family, who had many painful memories. Therefore, his opinion was shaped by the hurt in his heart, which came out of his mouth and created death energy in my soul.

The following verses explain the connection between our thoughts, heart, and words.

Matthew 15:18-19 states, “But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. 19) For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander.”

Luke 6:45 states, “The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”

The first step to change an evil heart is to change our negative heart issues generated from painful memories. Ask God to show you why you are having negative issues, which come from being offended when we are not loved as we want to be loved. Being offended opens the door to the temptation to be angry, bitter, depressed, then to slander, gossip, and do hurtful things. If you hear yourself saying unloving things or unloving things have been said to you, then please visit my website and read how you can discover a new reality for your life. 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

If you haven’t read my first post on the power of our words, I invite you to read it now: WORDS HAVE POWER—Part I: Overcoming The Power of Offensive Words

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

WORDS HAVE POWER—Part I: Overcoming The Destruction of Offensive Words

Have you ever considered the power of the spoken or written word? When someone says something hurtful, it creates an offense in our hearts. A person’s words reveal the condition of their heart. Therefore, the person saying the hurtful words is also hurting from the offenses they have stored in their hearts from painful memories. This post explains how to overcome the power of offensive words and actions. But first, let’s review the power of words. Imagine how the progression below is influenced by negative words, then imagine how the progression is influenced by positive words.

Words (positive or negative) create like thoughts.

Thoughts create feelings.

Feelings create beliefs.

Beliefs create attitudes.

Attitudes influence decisions for behavior.

Decisions directs the course of our life.

Change the course of your life by changing your thoughts.

Often, when we become offended, it is because the words or action triggered a subconscious painful memory of an unmet need or expectation. Other times, we become offended because a selfish desire was not met, or our pride was hurt. All of humanity struggles with being self-centered. For instance, someone does something to you or says something about you that you thought was unloving; your first response is to think; that wasn’t right; I didn’t like that. Or you weren’t acknowledged for an achievement, or accepted into a group, or ignored, etc., which hurt your pride. So, when we become offended, we open the door to the temptation to be angry, bitter, depressed, then to slander, gossip, and say hurtful things. Our thoughts and feelings become controlled by the offense, and we do and say hurtful things. To be free from the control of offenses, do the following three actions.

First, is to forgive, which may be hard to do, but it is to set you free from their control on your mind, not for them. Forgiving sets your mind free from the unseen control of negative energy from the hurtful words or actions. Forgiveness also releases the unseen control of negative energy from painful thoughts, so they don’t control our feelings and actions. Second, pray for the person who hurt you, because they are hurting. Praying generates positive energy, that gives you positive feelings and positive thoughts. And third, set your mind on the things of God by reading the Bible and transforming your thoughts to think His thoughts of love for yourself and others. The following post describes this process in detail: Thoughts That Create Peace Within and Without

Sometimes though, you need to set boundaries for people who continue to say abusive, hurtful words, after you have first spoken to them about how their unloving words affect you. You need not let their words control your thinking, feelings, beliefs, and attitude, which is hard to do, but possible when you are quick to forgive.

For example, I became offended by the words on an anniversary card my wonderful husband gave me. He did not intend to offend me, but when I explained why I was offended, he apologized and tried to make it right. Unfortunately, I allowed the offense to get into my heart and control my feelings, and I became miserable and said hurtful things. I’m sure no one else has done that.

When I had enough of feeling sorry for myself, I remembered that I needed to forgive the offense, even though it was not intentional. Then I asked God to forgive me for being hurtful, and to take the power of that memory and negative energy of the offense from my mind and heart. I felt so much better. So often relationships are ruined by hurtful words and holding onto offenses. I realized the quicker I forgave, the more love, peace, and joy I would experience, and the more love, peace, and joy others would experience when they were in my presence.

The anniversary card situation caused me to ask myself, why did that card offend me? I knew from my research that it had triggered a painful memory. So, I asked God to show me what the offense was. He showed me that I was still offended by a hurt from my first marriage. I went through the “Kindness Issues” worksheet on my website to release the offenses I was feeling. Next, I forgave my ex-husband for the hurtful words he had spoken to me, and I asked God to lose and remove the power of that memory and all negative energies from my mind and heart. I also applied the right thinking and truths from the “Joy” and “Peace Issues” worksheets to transform the feelings of hurt and anguish in my heart and mind. After going through the process of healing these negative heart issues, I felt so much peace and joy.

To learn more, please visit my site and read a short book I wrote about how I transformed many negative heart issues and discovered a new reality. 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. I hope you found this helpful. May God Bless you richly.

To understand the power of forgiving, read: WHY SHOULD I FORGIVE

You may enjoy reading my next post called: WORDS HAVE POWER—PART II: Words produce death or life energy

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

Freedom from the Snares of Disrespect, Unworthiness, and Failure

Have you been disrespected, demeaned, and feel like a failure? Do you feel unworthy to be respected? Do you find yourself being disrespectful when others fail to meet your expectations or know someone who is disrespectful to you when you fail? Do you bad mouth people and treat them as lower than yourself? Do you feel unworthy of respect, or are you treating others as unworthy of respect? All bad behavior has a source. So, don’t make excuses, but ask God, “Why am I behaving this way?” “What is the root or source behind my behavior?” “Why am I being disrespected and am I attracting disrespectful behavior?

The following example shows the connection between disrespect, unworthiness, and failure. If my husband or anyone else did not meet my expectations, then I would demean them, which is not godly behavior. To be godly is basically to be like God. And, God wants us to value others and to honor them; therefore, being disrespectful is not loving and is a sin. So, I asked God to show me the root of why I was being irritated. He revealed that I had unresolved painful memories of not being valued as a child or by my first husband. God showed me that I had disdain for my first husband because of his abusiveness. Additionally, I was influenced by my mother’s disrespect and contempt for my father. Therefore, I developed unhealthy beliefs and wrong thinking that caused my sinful behavior of disrespect.

God also revealed that I felt like a failure as a child, especially with schoolwork and reading. I was told I should have been in special education classes, but my mother fought against it. I’m sure, you can think of the times when you failed, and others may have treated you as unworthy and disrespected you as well. Failure was the outer mental stronghold that reinforced the inner stronghold of unworthiness. Both mental strongholds protected the authority seat of disrespect, which held the memories of the offenses I had of disdain, dishonor, and rude behaviors. I also realized that disrespect was a generational sin because I observed the same responses in other family members. To understand the role of strongholds and authority seats read this post: STRONGHOLDS PART I—What are they and how do they affect us?

The following are some of the unhealthy beliefs I had. “I am not worthy of respect, and no one else is worthy of my respect.” “I am inferior to others and deserve to be treated as inferior.” “I have no value and what I have to say is not valued.” “Men are not worthy of respect because they fail to meet expectations.” There are many other unhealthy beliefs associated with these two strongholds. I replaced these unhealthy beliefs with the truths found in the section on my website called MEEKNESS/HUMILITY ISSUES. Can you see the connection now between failure, feeling unworthy, and disrespect for yourself and others?

There is hope for complete healing and transformation, please read the pages on my website to learn how. 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

Anger Issues Protected by Pride and Judgmental Strongholds

The pride and judgmental strongholds in my life protected many issues of anger generated from the humiliation, shame, injustices, betrayals, disappointments, and rejections throughout my life. If you are unfamiliar with what mental strongholds are and my castle illustration, please read the following post first; STRONGHOLDS PART I—What are they and how do they affect us?

The reason why we need to deal with this stronghold combination is so we can love as God loves. To love well, we need to eliminate the sins of anger, bitterness, resentment, hatred, judging, and pride. These sins prevent God’s love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness (humility), faithfulness (trust), and self-control from flowing out of us to others.

People with this stronghold combination typically were either bullied or come from dysfunctional or abusive families/marriages. I experienced all the above. I found that disappointment and broken trust is the main force that generates the sin of pride and being judgmental. Broken trust comes from betrayal by those who you expected would love and protect you. My pride issues were created by damaged self-worth and low self-esteem and are often revealed by over-sensitivity and over-reaction. You can learn how to heal betrayal issues and repair your damaged self-worth by reading my short book on my website.

For example, as a teenager, I became hurt and offended when my younger sister demeaned me and put me down. I stored that hurt and offense in my heart, so every time I felt demeaned as an adult, I would explode with anger. When I asked God to show me why I was getting so angry, He revealed how my younger sister had offended me. I forgave my sister because I know she demeaned me because she was hurting too. I then confessed any sin on my part to God, which is very important for overcoming anger issues. Our sin needs forgiving because it creates stress in our bodies, and they will re-establish the painful memory. For instance, I confessed and asked for forgiveness of the sin of wanting to harm my sister and for demeaning and disgracing her in return.

The pride stronghold wall protects unhealthy beliefs such as—I am better than you. Don’t tell me I am wrong. Don’t tell me what to do but do what I want. The pride wall protects the inner judgmental wall that protects unhealthy beliefs of—I have the right to determine if you are right, wrong, or insincere. I have the right to be angry, bitter, resentful, and hateful. I don’t trust you or value you. The judgmental stronghold wall then protects the anger seat of authority, which holds all our memories of hurts, disappointments, unmet needs and desires, offenses, soul wounds, bitterness, resentments, and hatred. These memories produce unhealthy beliefs, which control our thoughts, and our thoughts dictate what we say and do.

Another reason why we need to destroy this stronghold combination is because God hates pride (Prov. 8:13; James 4:6), and anger does not achieve the righteousness of God, only peace and humility does (James 1:20; 3:18), which is why I wanted to be free. We are also instructed to not be judgmental (Matthew 7:1). I hope and pray that if you have this same issue that you too will find freedom, so you can love from a pure heart. To learn how to be free from anger and this stronghold combination, please visit my website, you will be glad you did. https://hopeforcompletehealing.com/

Anger issues are also entwined in the Impatience stronghold combination; read the following post: Freedom from Impatience and Strongholds of Injustice and Unfairness

To begin reading my book, start here: 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

Related Posts:

Why, What, and How to Submit to God

Free from Anger–County Jail Testimony and Teaching

The Core Negative Heart Issue

WHY HEAL YOUR HEART AND PURIFY YOUR SOUL?

Five Steps to Heal Your Heart and Purify Your Soul

Bondage to Unseen Controls

HOW PRIDE DESTROYS

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).