Breaking Childhood Rejection and Insignificance Strongholds.

Rejection in my life began before I was born. My mother found out she was pregnant while attending nursing school, and had to quit and marry my father. Then she was alone in a navy hospital for about three months before my twin sister and I were born. No one came to visit her and my father was out to sea. Then my father was discharged from the Navy so he could take care of his new family. My mother was very unhappy with my father, because he was very irresponsible. I learned this when I found letters she wrote to my grandmother, which revealed a lot about how she was feeling and what was happening at the time I was born.

Thirteen months later another sister was born, who had a lot of health problems. Not only did I have to share my mother with my twin sister, but now I had to compete with another sibling. The spirit of rejection took a stronger hold on my mind. My classmates then rejected me because my family was very poor, and I wore hand-me-down cloths and had lunch tickets. The stronghold of loneliness took hold, and I became withdrawn and escaped into my dreams and watching TV. My mother was angry and depressed because of the spirit of rejection on her from my father and her childhood. Though my mother tried to love us, I never felt loved, which damaged my self-worth. I became dysfunctional in my ability to relate to people, and I could not love or trust other people.

The lies created by rejection and protected by the rejection stronghold.

Satan, who hates mankind and God, will cause children to feel rejected as early as he can to reinforce the stronghold of insignificance, and to keep them in bondage to insecurity. Satan knows that rejection damages our perception of ourselves, other people, and situations. For instance, have you ever felt rejected when you perceived someone excluding you but they weren’t? When you have the spirit of rejection, then you feel rejected when someone does not do what you expect, or does not agree with you, etc.

The first step to removing the spirit of rejection in our lives is to acknowledge its existence. Barbara Taylor, whose book From Rejection to Acceptance has helped many understand and cope with their feelings of being unloved. She wrote on page 48, “Until I was honest enough to admit there was a problem, I had no reason to seek help from God or man. More serious than this was the fact that until I saw the problem was with me, I was convinced that the whole world around me had the problem.” Taylor also lists five lies planted in a child’s mind, each one building on the other:

“I am not loved.”

“I must be unworthy of love.”

“I must perform to win love.”

“If I cannot properly perform, I will be ultimately rejected.”

“If I am rejected, then I must compensate for this rejection.”

?? Have you had any of these lies listed above in your heart and mind?

Damaged love tanks in marriage.

We all desire to feel significant, to be accepted and approved, and we shun rejection. When a person does not feel loved, they do not feel valued, and it damages their self-worth. So, the most painful emotions we store in our hearts are feelings of not being loved, valued, and accepted. Everyone’s love tank is damaged by unkind actions and words. God is love and He created us to love and be loved.

As adults, we expect imperfect people, who have equally damaged love tanks, to love us. So, when two people try to get love but can’t reciprocate love, then they become resentful and angry toward each other. This happened in my first marriage. Only God can love us perfectly, and only God can restore and heal our damaged love issues. The problem with this truth is when a person has a spirit of rejection on them, they also feel God is rejecting them, especially when their prayers go unanswered. So, the key to a healthy marriage is to heal our damaged love tanks and fill it with God’s love.

Getting self-worth from other people’s approval and transform unhealthy beliefs.

As an adult, when I perceived rejection in any form, whether it was rejecting something I said or did, I would become offended and say hurtful things. Even when people did not think as highly of me as I did, I felt rejected. Yes, I was prideful, and I felt I did not deserve to be rejected. This dysfunctional thinking and behavior affected my relationship with my family, and created a spirit of rejection in their lives.

The Holy Spirit showed me that it was a sin to find my significance in what I do, and my worth in people’s opinions. Satan tempts us to focus on other people’s opinions of us to keep us in bondage to getting our value from the approval of people. Our significance and worth come from God and His purpose for us. I repented and reprogram my mind to believe that it only matters what God thinks of me and not what unregenerate people thought of me. We need to understand that people’s opinions are based on their insecurities and damaged self-worth. So, if we are depending on other damaged people to give us worth, then we will remain feeling unloved and insignificant.

In prayer, I loosed and put off the unhealthy beliefs that I need approval to feel valued, and people have to accept me to give me a sense of worth. Then I put in to my heart the truth that God loves and accepts me because I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior and became a child of God, which gives me incredible worth and significance. I transformed my beliefs with the following truths. “I can be kind to people who do not value me because I know they have a damaged love tank.” (See Luke 6:35; 1 Thes. 5:15.) “I can receive God’s kindness and love and know that He will not reject me.” “I will live with God for eternity, so I will seek first His kingdom and find my self-worth in His love, peace, joy, and righteousness.” (Read Matt. 6:33; Rom. 14:17.)

Transforming unhealthy beliefs about my self-worth.

Do you believe your worth is in what you do, who you know, how much money and possessions you have, and in what others think of you? I believed the lie that I needed to be important and have significance to have worth. I believed I needed to be in control to feel important. I believed the lie that I needed to be successful to have significance, so I unknowingly rejected anyone who got in my way. In prayer, I loosed and put out of my mind these unhealthy beliefs and repented of these sins. Once my unhealthy beliefs were transformed by truth, I loosed and put off the negative emotional energy from the painful memories of rejection. After I worked through the healing process to eliminate my painful memories through forgiveness, unhealthy beliefs, and the stronghold of rejection, insignificance, and loneliness in my life, I became emotionally stable.

What I learned. The negative opinions that people have about you do not represent the truth, but reflect their damaged emotions and insecurities. When you try to get your worth from other people, from what you own, or from what you do, you will be disappointed and discouraged. Your worth is found in knowing and serving God. So, keep your mind on Jesus and what He thinks of you. Turn every disappointment in your life into a prayer, rejoicing in Jesus, and being thankful in all circumstances (1Thes. 5:16-18).

Hope in God to heal your negative heart issues. Read Psalm 139 to learn what God thinks of you. My book called “Hope for Complete Healing” explains in more detail how to be free from many other unhealthy beliefs and strongholds. 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

RELATED POSTS:

Love From a Pure Heart

WHY SHOULD I FORGIVE

Freedom from the Snares of Disrespect, Unworthiness, and Failure

WHY HEAL YOUR HEART AND PURIFY YOUR SOUL?

Five Steps to Heal Your Heart and Purify Your Soul

HOW PRIDE DESTROYS

How to Overcome Situational Depression.

HOW MEMORIES INFLUENCE OUR THINKING, EMOTIONS, AND BEHAVIOR

Posts about Prayer

WHAT IS INNER LIFE TRANSFORMATION? My Story

Escapism; Protected by Strongholds of Loneliness and Discontentment

Pt. 2: Why You Can and Cannot Trust God? 

Have you ever felt forsaken by God? Jesus has, I have.  So, why does the Bible say, “He will never leave you or forsake you?”  We feel forsaken when our expectations are not met.  This is true with our human relationships as well.  The next time you feel forsaken, asked yourself what expectations were not met.  Were they realistic expectations?  Remember, God is the only one who can be faithful and loyal to you.  My last blog post explains how to recover from broken trust, and I encourage you to read that if you haven’t: Pt. 1: Forsaken? Betrayed? How to trust again.

Maybe you feel God has abandoned you when He did not answer a prayer.  Unanswered prayer is an unmet expectation that causes an offense to form in your heart. God did not answer my prayer to heal my abusive first marriage and keep my family together. I felt forsaken and despaired as I faced divorce.  I felt abandoned by God.  I poured my heart out to Him and told Him I was going to walk away from my faith. And God answered, “What is the alternative?” I thought about it and knew that Satan would love to destroy me and my children.  So, I stayed tight with God by submitting my many troubles to Him while going through the divorce.  I do not encourage divorce but sometimes we don’t have a choice.  I experienced many miracles because God was faithful to me, which I share in the post, Trust God to Keep His Promises.

The Bible says, He will never leave you nor forsake you when you seek Him (read Deuteronomy 31:6&8 and Hebrews 13:5). This promise is for those who are followers of Jesus Christ who believe and confess Him as their Lord and Savior.  When you believe, you are promised forgiveness of your sins and are promised eternal life (see John 3:16). Read my post on the 15 Promises We Can Trust God to Keep

―Are you afraid?

What are you afraid of?  Deuteronomy 31:6,8 says you must “Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you.” Again, in verse 8 God says, “Do not fear or be dismayed.” These two verses are part of Moses’s last message to the Israelites before they enter the Promised Land (Israel). When I think about being courageous, I think of David and Goliath.  David knew he could take Goliath because he compared the size of Goliath to the size of God.  By faith, David conquered his foe with God’s help.  Hebrews 11:6 says, “And without faith, it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.” Also, read James 4:8.

Are you afraid you don’t have enough money? Hebrews 13:5 says to, “Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’”  You can trust God to provide for you, so you don’t need to be anxious about how much money you have or don’t have. Philippians 4:19 explains, “And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”  When I was a single mother with two toddlers and no job.  I began a sewing business and God provided for my every need when I trusted Him.  I was never in need of anything. Because there was a 90% chance I would marry another abusive husband, I did not date. After a time of healing, God provided an awesome husband, who is totally submitted to Him and compatible with me. God is truly good.

My favorite promise is in Isaiah 41:10, which says, “fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”  Really think about this promise and claim it when you are facing a tough situation.  Fear and worry are indicators you are not trusting God. You will have peace when you keep your mind on the Lord God through prayer, praise, and pondering scripture.  Isaiah 26:3 says, “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you because he trusts in you.”  I wrote in a previous post, how you know you are trusting God when you attain righteousness, peace, and joy.

―How do you make God your refuge in times of trouble?

      Psalm 9:9-10 states, “The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know Your name trust in You, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek You.

What do the following phrases mean?

  • The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed”?  Refuge means a place of shelter and protection from danger. The word oppressed means to feel burdened or heavy by troubles in your body, spirit, and mind.  We make the LORD (God) our refuge through prayer by giving Him all the things that burden our hearts and are heavy on our minds.
  • A stronghold in times of trouble.”  A stronghold is a strong fortress that we can run into and be safe.  Psalm 37:39, also states, “The salvation of the righteous is from the LORD; he is their stronghold in the time of trouble.”
  • Those who know Your name trust in You for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek You Are you seeking God? Jeremiah 29:13 tells us, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Also, read Matthew 7:7-11.

God can be trusted, though He may not answer all your prayers the way you want Him too.  His knowledge and ways are greater than ours, and He has a good purpose and plan for you (Jeremiah 29:11-13 and Isaiah 55:9).  You will never know His good purpose for your life until you have submitted to Him.  Submitting to God means accepting His sovereign plan for you and give Him the authority to take over.  I wrote a post on how to submit to God.  When I finally submitted, I became free from an anxiety disorder.  Read: Why, What, and How to Submit to God and be FREE


Pray the following truth statements if you find it hard to trust God. Found in TRUST AND FAITHFULNESS Issues.

It is safe to trust God and do what is good, and He will direct me. Ps. 37:3-5.

I can trust God’s faithfulness to be a shield around me as I put my trust in Him, and I will not be afraid. Ps. 91:4; 56:4,11.

Trust believes the good thing God is doing, and my heart need not be troubled, for He is my salvation.  John 14:1, Isa. 25:9.

I can be trusted, and I am faithful with what God has given me. Lk. 16:10.

I can trust and believe my life has a purpose, and God has a plan for my life, which gives me hope… Jer. 29:11-14.

As I trust in God, He is my refuge, and His unfailing love and favor surround me. Ps. 32:10; 7:1; 5:12.

When I trust and believe in Jesus, I will not be disappointed.  Rom. 9:33; I Peter 2:6b.

I will not put my hope in the uncertainty of riches but in God who richly supplies me with all things to enjoy. I Tim. 6:17; Phil 4:19.

I am blessed when I trust and hope in the Lord, and I make him my confidence.  Jer. 17:7.


There is hope for complete healing when you seek God with all your heart and trust Him. The short book on my website is the result of God healing my heart when I trusted him to show me my wounds and sin so I could repent and be healed.  1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

I am praying for you.  If you have a prayer request, I would love to pray with you, send me an email, or if you comment with a request, I will not publish your request, unless you give me permission.

RELATED POSTS

Read my posts on Psalm 91 found in Psalm 91 Posts


If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the link to my post and website with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

Patience — Freedom from Strongholds of Injustice and Unfairness

You know you have a patience problem when you get upset every time you drive on the road.  Also, do you often get frustrated with people when they do not meet your expectations?  You probably already know if you are not a patient person.  Our goal should be to love others well from a pure heart, and the first attribute of love is patience (1 Cor. 13:4).  So, when we are patient, we are loving well.  I have heard people say they pray for more patience than any other attribute of love. Why? Why are we not patient?  Only God can tell us why, because only He knows the hurt in our hearts, and only He can heal it.

So, what is patience?  The following definitions come from Webster’s dictionary.  Patience is bearing or enduring pain, trouble, inconvenience, etc. without complaint, losing self-control, making a disturbance, etc.  To be forbearing: tolerate (to put up with).  Keep oneself in check.  Refusing to be provoked or angered, as by an insult or frustration.  And, it is merciful: compassionate or kindly forbearance shown toward an offender, an enemy, or person in one’s power.  It is persevering: steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement (does not quit).  Lastly, patience is being just: living with a moral principle that determines right conduct, and fair: treating all sides alike.

Every time I read these definitions of patience I can see where I am still falling short of not loving well. This post is my testimony of how I destroyed the mental strongholds of unfairness and injustice that control my thoughts and reactions.  So, if you have not read my post on strongholds, please read it first to understand what they are. STRONGHOLDS PART I—What are they and how do they affect us?

At a young age, I developed mental strongholds of injustice and unfairness that protected the authority seat of impatience.  Impatience ruled my behavior, which explained why I over-reacted when I perceived something was unfair or unjust.  I had an unhealthy belief that trials, or difficulties were unfair, wrongful actions against me, and I needed to fight against them and the people involved.  But, in fact, trials and difficulties strengthen our ability to be patient, that is, practice makes perfect.  I also had the unhealthy belief, if I didn’t get what I needed, wanted, or what I expected, I would become frustrated and angry, which happened often.

How often do you hear a child say, “That’s not fair?”  Have you said it?  Because I thought my parents were unfair, I couldn’t trust them.  This stronghold combination prevents us from being submissive since we do not trust those in authority to be fair. So, when a person doesn’t think they can trust someone or submit to them, then they become rebellious.  Also, not being able to trust and submit our self-focused wills has adverse effects in all areas of our life (i.e. work, family, social, spiritual, etc.).

When I became free from this stronghold combination, I could then control my thoughts and emotions.  To be honest, it took some time to transform all my wrong thinking and unhealthy beliefs, that triggered automatic response programming from my childhood.  To eliminate this stronghold combination, I asked God to show me the memories of the offenses I thought were unfair from the time I was a child until the present time. Note, if a situation is fair, but you don’t think it is, this still creates an offense, just look at our political landscape.

Here is one example of many, I was responsible for doing all the dishes for a month for five members of my family, and each month my sisters and I would take turns.  I thought this was so unfair, and I had issues of doing the dishes for many years.  This memory caused many needless conflicts with my children and husband.  The key is to overcoming is to stay mindful of the goal to love others well and not be self-centered.

The need to heal issues of frustration became clear after eliminating this stronghold combination.  So, I transformed the memories of my mother’s frustration by eliminating the negative energy and forgiving her.  I also had to forgive myself for being frustrated with my children and husband.  Next, I transformed the unhealthy belief that I have to control circumstances and what people do, with the truth that I can only control myself.  Then I applied to my heart and mind the positive attributes found in the “Patience Issues” prayer focus on my website.  A truth statement I chose to believe was that I can be humble, gentle, and patient and show tolerance for others in love (Ephesians 4:2).

If you identify with what I have written, and you want to eliminate the power of offenses then go to my website: hopeforcompletehealing.com and learn how to be free to live a new reality.


If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

How is your blood? Mother Earth News Fair at Seven Springs Ski Resort

blood picAt the fair, I decided to see what the health of my blood was, so I visited Dr. Misak’s booth, from Pittsburgh Alternative Health (website: pittsburghalternativehealth.com). He took a drop of my blood and displayed it for me to see the individual components. The picture above shows some of what I saw. He explained what the problems were, and what I needed to do about it. Pretty cool stuff. You can learn more about this process at www.biomedx.com. Would you like to know a way to examine our behavior and reactions? For example, the GPS directed us to a closed road, and it would not recalculate. We had no idea how to get to the ski resort. I panicked and became very anxious. Why? The book I wrote called “Hope for Complete Healing” explains how to examine our reactions to determine the why. You can read my book on my website hopeforcompletehealing.com.

I rate this fair at 5 stars. 100+ workshops taught everything from living off-the-grid, installing solar, organic gardening, growing mushrooms, keeping bees, animal husbandry, prepping, natural health, and homesteading. You could take classes on making your own mead, coconut milk, cheese, bread, bacon, fermented foods, makeup, and medicine. There even was a class on how to build mud/straw structures. About 240 vendors were willing to help you with all your health needs, gardening problems, farm supplies, cooking utensils, and so much more. They even had a mushroom walk in the woods to identify different mushrooms. If any of these topics interest you, then check out the Mother Earth News website to see where and when the next fair is.

My husband went to a workshop by “Happy Leaf,” about how to grow an indoor garden. He took me to their booth, and I saw the beautiful plants they produced with their special LED Grow lights. As a gardener, I was very impressed. See the picture below of their passive hydroponics starter kit. You can learn more at http://happyleafled.com/

LED Grow Lights

I went to a workshop on how to make your own makeup hosted by Maria Rayma. Her website is http://humblebeeandme.com/, which is a fabulous must-see website. The last workshop we attended was called “Prepping 101.” This speaker talked about how to prepare for a catastrophe. I do agree that we all should have at least two weeks of food and water in the event you lose power from a natural disaster. I also agree you should have alternative energy and heat sources during and after a natural disaster. Therefore, be prepared for the unexpected but don’t be controlled by an irrational fear. Irrational fear is a stronghold that keeps you believing wrong things, so you do crazy things to prepare. I know people who are doing this. If you feel you are being controlled by irrational fear or you know someone who is, please go to my website hopeforcompletehealing.com. You will learn how to become free from strongholds and unhealthy beliefs.

Freedom from the Snares of Disrespect, Unworthiness, and Failure

Have you been disrespected, demeaned, and feel like a failure?  Do you feel unworthy to be respected?  Do you find yourself being disrespectful when others fail to meet your expectations or know someone who is disrespectful to you when you fail? Do you bad mouth people and treat them as lower than yourself? Do you feel unworthy of respect, or are you treating others as unworthy of respect? All bad behavior has a source. So, don’t make excuses, but ask God, “Why am I behaving this way?” “What is the root or source behind my behavior?” “Why am I being disrespected and am I attracting disrespectful behavior?

The following example shows the connection between disrespect, unworthiness, and failure.  If my husband or anyone else did not meet my expectations, then I would demean them, which is not godly behavior. To be godly is basically to be like God.  And, God wants us to value others and to honor them; therefore, being disrespectful is not loving and is a sin. So, I asked God to show me the root of why I was being irritated. He revealed that I had unresolved painful memories of not being valued as a child or by my first husband.  God showed me that I had disdain for my first husband because of his abusiveness. Additionally, I was influenced by my mother’s disrespect and contempt for my father. Therefore, I developed unhealthy beliefs and wrong thinking that caused my sinful behavior of disrespect.

God also revealed that I felt like a failure as a child, especially with schoolwork and reading. I was told I should have been in special education classes, but my mother fought against it. I’m sure, you can think of the times when you failed, and others may have treated you as unworthy and disrespected you as well. Failure was the outer mental stronghold that reinforced the inner stronghold of unworthiness. Both mental strongholds protected the authority seat of disrespect, which held the memories of the offenses I had of disdain, dishonor, and rude behaviors. I also realized that disrespect was a generational sin because I observed the same responses in other family members.  To understand the role of strongholds and authority seats read this post: STRONGHOLDS PART I—What are they and how do they affect us?

The following are some of the unhealthy beliefs I had. “I am not worthy of respect, and no one else is worthy of my respect.” “I am inferior to others and deserve to be treated as inferior.” “I have no value and what I have to say is not valued.” “Men are not worthy of respect because they fail to meet expectations.” There are many other unhealthy beliefs associated with these two strongholds.  I replaced these unhealthy beliefs with the truths found in the section on my website called MEEKNESS/HUMILITY ISSUES.  Can you see the connection now between failure, feeling unworthy, and disrespect for yourself and others?

There is hope for complete healing and transformation, please read the pages on my website to learn how.  1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories


If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).