You know you have a patience problem when you get upset every time you drive on the road. Also, do you often get frustrated with people when they do not meet your expectations? You probably already know if you are not a patient person. Our goal should be to love others well from a pure heart, and the first attribute of love is patience (1 Cor. 13:4). So, when we are patient, we are loving well. I have heard people say they pray for more patience than any other attribute of love. Why? Why are we not patient? Only God can tell us why, because only He knows the hurt in our hearts, and only He can heal it.
So, what is patience? The following definitions come from Webster’s dictionary. Patience is bearing or enduring pain, trouble, inconvenience, etc. without complaint, losing self-control, making a disturbance, etc. To be forbearing: tolerate (to put up with). Keep oneself in check. Refusing to be provoked or angered, as by an insult or frustration. And, it is merciful: compassionate or kindly forbearance shown toward an offender, an enemy, or person in one’s power. It is persevering: steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement (does not quit). Lastly, patience is being just: living with a moral principle that determines right conduct, and fair: treating all sides alike.
Every time I read these definitions of patience I can see where I am still falling short of not loving well. This post is my testimony of how I destroyed the mental strongholds of unfairness and injustice that control my thoughts and reactions. So, if you have not read my post on strongholds, please read it first to understand what they are. STRONGHOLDS PART I—What are they and how do they affect us?
At a young age, I developed mental strongholds of injustice and unfairness that protected the authority seat of impatience. Impatience ruled my behavior, which explained why I over-reacted when I perceived something was unfair or unjust. I had an unhealthy belief that trials, or difficulties were unfair, wrongful actions against me, and I needed to fight against them and the people involved. But, in fact, trials and difficulties strengthen our ability to be patient, that is, practice makes perfect. I also had the unhealthy belief, if I didn’t get what I needed, wanted, or what I expected, I would become frustrated and angry, which happened often.
How often do you hear a child say, “That’s not fair?” Have you said it? Because I thought my parents were unfair, I couldn’t trust them. This stronghold combination prevents us from being submissive since we do not trust those in authority to be fair. So, when a person doesn’t think they can trust someone or submit to them, then they become rebellious. Also, not being able to trust and submit our self-focused wills has adverse effects in all areas of our life (i.e., work, family, social, spiritual, etc.).
When I became free from this stronghold combination, I could then control my thoughts and emotions. To be honest, it took some time to transform all my wrong thinking and unhealthy beliefs, that triggered automatic response programming from my childhood. To eliminate this stronghold combination, I asked God to show me the memories of offense of what I thought was unfair. Memories include childhood to this moment. Note, if a situation is fair, but you don’t think it is, this still creates an offense, just look at our political landscape.
Here is one example of many, I was responsible for doing all the dishes for a month for five members of my family, and each month my sisters and I would take turns. I thought this was so unfair, and I had issues of doing the dishes for many years. This memory caused many needless conflicts with my children and husband. Eliminating the power of the memories of offense and unhealthy beliefs from our hearts and minds, frees us from the control of stronghold combinations. The key is to overcoming is to stay mindful of the goal to love others well and not be self-centered, even toward other drivers.
The need to heal issues of frustration became clear after eliminating this stronghold combination. So, I transformed the memories of my mother’s frustration by eliminating the negative energy and forgiving her. I also had to forgive myself for being frustrated with my children and husband. Next, I transformed the unhealthy belief that I have to control circumstances and what people do, with the truth that I can only control myself. Then I applied to my heart and mind the positive attributes found in the “Patience Issues” prayer focus on my website. A truth statement I chose to believe was that I can be humble, gentle, and patient and show tolerance for others in love (Ephesians 4:2).
If you identify with what I have written, and you want to eliminate the power of offenses then go to my website: hopeforcompletehealing.com and learn how to be free to live a new reality.