How The Church Prepares You to Meet God

How many reasons come to your mind as to why people leave the church? In my last post, I talked about why we need to go to church. If you need to leave the church because of life changes, find a Bible teaching, missions/service-oriented, God worshiping church. Remember, no church is perfect because people are not perfect. So why do people leave the church and never return?

The Number One Reason People Leave the Church Is Being Offended.

Have you been offended by someone or something in the church? What was your natural response when you became offended? Most offended people simply leave the church and lose their faith, which is Satan’s goal for all of us. Like I said in my last post, people are messy, and so is the church. Jesus said in Luke 5:32, “I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance.”

We know that sin separates us from God. And we all know Romans 3:23, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” That is true, but that is not the final word. If that is all there is, then we will live defeated lives. Romans 3:24-25 explains the remedy for our messy sin, “And are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, 25whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God’s righteousness because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins.” We receive the gift of redemption (which is salvation from sin and God’s wrath) by the grace of God through faith. “And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9not a result of works, so that no one may boast. 10For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them (Ephesians 3:8-10).” A work in progress is not perfect, nor is it pretty, so we need to be patient with each other and encourage one another to love and good deeds (Hebrews 10:24).

How Should We React to Offensive People?

We need to see each other as saved sinners who are being made holy as God is Holy. Hebrews 12:14 states, “Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. 15See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.” When we become offended, we often become depressed or contentious, then bitter. Note that verse 14 says that no one will see the Lord without holiness. Becoming holy is the process of transforming sinful thinking with the truth of God’s Word (Romans 12:2). This is why you need to stay in church, so you can practice being holy and transform your sinful thoughts, not only with your church family but also with your family at home.

Being holy is living an obedient life that strives to please God, knowing we will stand before Him to give an account of our actions. 2Corinthians 5:9-10 states, “So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him. 10For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.” 

We won’t live holy lives all the time, because inevitably, we will react from our sinful nature and offend someone from time to time. Being offended by other Christians is nothing new. The Apostle Paul wrote to the Colossian church about what to do when they became offended. Colossians 3:13-15 states, “Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 15And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.” Peace and thankfulness go a long way. Being forgiving and thankful saved my marriage many times because you can’t be offended when you choose to live in love and peace by forgiving and being thankful. Does the peace of God rule in your heart? If not, you may have a past offense that needs to be forgiven. My book on my website helps you work through the many offenses in our hearts.

Excuses Why People Get Offended and Leave The Church

People do not want to tithe.

Don’t like the worship.

Don’t like the Pastor’s wife.

The pastor or music director had an affair.

Don’t like the changes.

The Pastor is boring (sometimes valid).

The people in the church are hypocrites.

The church doesn’t use King James Version.

The Pastor didn’t come to visit me when I missed one Sunday.

The list can be a lot longer, but you get the idea. Notice that being offended is focusing on the things you do not like and can’t control. I have to confess that I left several churches because the music was too loud, and I felt like I was at a rock concert. To me, that is not worship. Some people are drawn to that kind of worship, don’t know why. I can’t imagine God rocking out (just dated myself).

My point is that there are many different kinds of churches with various worship styles, ministries, and preaching styles. My second husband and I changed churches so our sons could go to a robust youth group with a dynamic youth pastor. We were their youth leaders, and we were failing. I have known families leave the church because of a change in the mission statement. If a family leaves the church, I recommend checking on them to see if they found another church home. Encourage those who leave for whatever reason to persevere in their faith and remind them that they will stand before God. Encourage them in their salvation and the need to nurture a holy life so they will spend eternity with God.

John 3:36 states, “Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life; whoever does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God remains on him.”

And, Romans 6:22  “But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life.

RELATED POSTS:

Freedom from the Spirit of Jealousy

WORDS HAVE POWER—Part I: Overcoming The Destruction of Offensive Words

How to Dig up the Unforgiving Belief to Grow in Love

#1 Destroyer of All Relationships and the Solution

All verses are from the English Standard Bible. If you find my posts and website helpful, please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected, and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Check out my first book on Amazon. I would love to hear what you think.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. I will also send you the Lord’s Prayer Model to pray effectively. Please leave your name, so I know you are a real person making the request.

How to Dig up the Unforgiving Belief to Grow in Love

Is there someone who hurt you that you can’t bring yourself to forgive from your heart? Do you know someone who can’t forgive?” Do you believe the person who wronged you does not deserve forgiveness? I have come to realize that not forgiving is hatred. My website is about changing unhealthy beliefs to experience a new reality. What we think and say comes from what we believe, and what we believe directs our behavior, and our choices determine our destiny. In this series of posts, I will expose the unhealthy beliefs that control our lives and how to transform them with the truth to experience a new reality.

Where Does the Unforgiving Belief Come From?

The root of unforgiveness is resentment. I was offended by the hurtful words and actions of my mother, father, sisters, friends, and so on, which wounded my soul. The wounds began to fester, and resentment grew. When resentment grows, it becomes bitterness and hate.

Have you known an older person who was bitter because of the wounds from their past? We tend to relive the hurts to justify why we can’t forgive, and we give them the power to control our thoughts. As I said earlier, unforgiveness is hatred toward the person who you feel wronged you. Sometimes we are wronged by someone who did not intentionally want to hurt us, but we take offense by something they said or did or something they did not say or do. Does this make sense? Then there are those we thought loved us yet betrayed us. Betrayal creates a deep wound, and the person who betrayed us is the hardest to forgive.

As I seek God to heal the wounds of my soul, He shows me my resentment toward that person or persons whom I have not forgiven. It may be an offense I have forgotten about, but it grew into resentment that controlled my thoughts. The resentment that kept me in bondage was perceived unfair treatment. I say perceived because I felt something was unfair that may not have been unfair. If I thought my sisters had something I didn’t or got to do something I couldn’t, I would become jealous and think it was unfair.

An example could be that your sibling got a gift you liked. Instead of being happy for them, you became envious and thought it was unfair, especially if they didn’t share their gift with you. Resentment begins to take root. Years later, you wonder why your sibling irritates you. Go to God in prayer and ask Him to show you. You don’t need to forgive your sibling or parents because it was their gift, and they didn’t have to share. But you were offended when they did not share, so you still need to forgive them for not sharing.

Another source of unforgiveness is pride. We often don’t want to forgive because we think that forgiving is excusing them, and we would rather punish them. Unfortunately, we are hurting ourselves more by not forgiving because we give the person who hurt us the power to continue to hurt us through our memories. Sometimes we arrogantly think they don’t deserve to be forgiven. The parable of the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18:21-35 is an example of how pride keeps you from forgiving and what the consequence is. Jesus tells the parable when Peter asks, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times (Matthew 18:21-22). When we don’t show mercy and forgive as the servant didn’t, we will remain in bondage until we do forgive. Mathew 18:35 states,  “So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.” 

What Is the Truth That Transforms this Unhealthy Belief?

When we forgive, the power of the offense that controls our thoughts and behavior is removed. You may never forget the painful event, but the memory of that event won’t have power over your thoughts and feelings. You will be free to love and not be in bondage and controlled by hate.

The most important truth is that God forgives us of our sins, so we must forgive others. Otherwise, He will not forgive us. Matthew 6:14-15 states, “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” We are commanded to forgive, so if we don’t, it becomes a sin. If we are not forgiven of our sins, then we risk losing our place in heaven.

Know that Jesus suffered many wrongs and lies, yet He forgave even those who beat and whipped Him and then crucified Him (Luke 23:34). 1Peter 2:21-25 states, “For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. 22 He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. 23 When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. 24 He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.” God wants to heal the wounds of your soul from the hurt you suffered at the hands of sinners. Aso, ask God to show you how you have sinned against someone and hurt them because of the hurt in your heart.

How To Change Unhealthy Beliefs

1. To transform unhealthy beliefs, recognize you have them. Listen to what you are saying and pay attention to your thoughts.

2. Submit the wrong thinking to God and ask Him to show you the truth.

3. Ask God to show you if there is a painful memory controlling your thoughts and decisions.

4. Pray and put off the unhealthy belief controlling your thoughts and put on the truth God shows you from His Word.

I first loosed the false beliefs that God showed me and replaced it with scripture truths like the following:

  • I believe in Jesus and receive His forgiveness, and I believe He will help me forgive others who have sinned against me. Acts 10:43
  • I can forgive for my own sake, and I receive God’s love and put my trust in Jesus, who forgave me and gave me eternal life. John 3:16
  • I can forgive others who sinned against me, and I accept forgiveness from God for my sins. Matt. 6:14-15
  • Forgiving heals my heart so that I can be kind and tenderhearted. Eph. 4:31-32
  • Forgiveness sets me free from painful memories and opens my heart to love. Col. 3:12-14
  • I surrender my desire to punish, fill my heart with Your love so I can bless those who hurt me. Rom. 12:14
  • I can control how I respond to every situation. I choose to have compassion for myself and others. Col. 3:12-14

Conclusion:

Resentment grows into hate and bitterness, where unforgiveness is. I learned that forgiving those who mistreated me or did not meet my expectations helped me overcome my hatred and resentment. The key is to acknowledge you have the resentful feeling quickly, ask God to expose the wrong thinking, then put it off. Next, forgive if you need to and put on the truth. The freedom from the power of my painful memories has allowed me to love others from a pure heart. I can write a lot more, but you understand because everyone has experienced the feeling of resentment from an offense. I would love to hear how you overcame this unhealthy belief.

RELATED POSTS

1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

Anger Issues Protected by Pride and Judgmental Strongholds

Freedom from the Spirit of Jealousy

Hope for Lasting Peace, Love, and Victory

#1 Destroyer of All Relationships and the Solution

WHY HEAL YOUR HEART AND PURIFY YOUR SOUL?

How to Recognize and Eliminate Emotional Cancer


All verses are from the English Standard Bible unless otherwise indicated. If you find my posts and website helpful, please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected. No part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom and this website. 

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Life-Changing Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, salvation for non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a person making the request.

The End Will Come: Part Four—Be Ready in Love.

1Thessalonians 5:2 states, “For you yourselves are fully aware that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night.” How should we be ready for Christ’s return? In  Part One, I explained why the New Testament writers thought the end was close. In Part Two, I describe how the Apostle Peter thought we are to suffer for the sake of Jesus Christ and how to complete our life’s race in victory. Part Three clarifies why you are to stay alert and sober-minded for the purpose of prayer until Christ’s return. This post explains why love identifies a real Child of God and how love covers many sins.

Matthew 24:44 states, “Therefore, you also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.” How should we be ready for Christ’s return? 1Peter 4:7-10 tells us what we must be doing when Christ returns.

1Peter 4:7-10 (NIV) states, The end of all things is near.

―Therefore, be alert (ESV says, be self-controlled; NAS says, be of sound judgment) and

―of sober mind so that you may pray.

Above all, love each other deeply (fervently; earnestly) because love covers over a multitude of sins.

―Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.

―Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.

What does it mean to love each other deeply?

To love each other deeply is to love like God. He sent His only Son to be like us in every way and suffer the same temptations so He can help us endure and escape (see Hebrews 2:17-18; 4:14-16; and 1Corinthians 10:13.) God loves us so fervently that He asked His son to pay the penalty for our sin by being the perfect lamb and die on the cross for all humanity’s sins. John 1:29 states, “Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!”  Because God made us in His image, we can love as He does. But we can’t, why not?

How are we to love deeply and fervently?

When you love fervently, you love with great intensity of spirit, feeling, and enthusiasm. How many people do you know that love like this? I know I don’t. Why don’t I and most of humanity love others deeply? I can speak for myself that I don’t love with great intensity because of my soul’s wounds. I have put a guard up around my heart because I endured a lot of hurt from sinful people. Yet, when Jesus comes back, He is looking for people who love others fervently. Why? Because love covers a multitude of sins.

Sin is doing evil when we forsake God and disobey His loving, protective commands. He commands us to love (Luke 10:27 and Matthew 22:37-49.) 1Corinthians 13:3-7 tells us, “If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. 4) Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. 7) Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” The only way we can love as God loves is to purify our hearts from the hurt and offenses imposed on us by those who did not love us and sinned against us. I wrote a post on how to love from a pure heart called Love From a Pure Heart. I also wrote two posts on why and how to purify your heart WHY HEAL YOUR HEART AND PURIFY YOUR SOUL? and Five Steps to Heal Your Heart and Purify Your Soul.

Why do we sin, and how does love cover sin?

Genesis 4:7, “sin is crouching at the door, and its desire is toward you, but you must rule over it.” God is telling Cain to rule over or master his thoughts of anger and jealousy, but he didn’t and killed his brother Able.

Anger is not a sin because God gets angry, and He is perfect.1 Anger indicates you are offended by a perceived unfairness or unmet expectation. The term offended means to feel irritated, annoyed, or displeased because of someone’s sin, negligence, or disregard. Ephesians 4:26-27 states, “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.” We, too, must master our angry thoughts so we don’t act on the sinful desire to punish. More than that, we must master angry thoughts, so Satan does not influence our thinking. All sin begins in your mind as a temptation to give in to fleshly desires or to seek justice for an offense.2 LOVE COVERS SINS BY FORGIVING AND NOT HOLDING AN OFFENSE AGAINST THE OTHER PERSON. Proverbs10:12 states, “Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.” And Proverbs 17:9 states, “Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.” God’s love forgives our sins so that we can forgive others their sins and cover them with love. Read my post called WHY MUST YOU FORGIVE.

Conclusion:

When Christ returns, will He find you loving people by forgiving them and not taking up an offense against them? Love is challenging because it involves sacrificing our right to punish when we think we have been mistreated. 1John 4:8 states, “Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.” God will know only those who love Him and loves other people. Read my short book on this website to begin transforming painful memories that prevent you from loving with fervency, 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories.



1. God’s anger: Numbers 22:22; Judges 2:12; and Revelations 14:10.

2. Hanscom, Joyce, Unseen Battles For Your Mind-not yet in published.


All verses are from the English Standard Bible. If you find my posts and website helpful, please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected, and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom. 

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, salvation for non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name, so I know you are a real person making the request.

How to Overcome Situational Depression.

Do you, or someone you know, suffer from depression? I am not an expert, but I do know that everyone experiences depression differently and for different reasons. So, what do I know about depression? I have a strong family history of depression. My great aunt had bipolar depression, which was very debilitating. My mother was depressed all the time because she could not cope with the disappointments in her life. My sisters and I were depressed because of the dysfunction of our home.

Unfortunately, all types of depression have a stigma linked to it, and many people do not want to admit they are depressed because they don’t want to be seen as weak or mentally ill. Often medication is necessary to increase the feel-good chemicals in our brains. But because of the stigma, they do not get the help they need. The worst way to cope with depression is by escaping through drinking alcohol, using drugs, shopping, excessively watching TV and movies, overeating, etc.

Biblical examples of depression.

King David was often depressed. For example, King David wrote in Psalm 31:10; “For my life is spent with sorrow, and my years with sighing; my strength fails because of my iniquity (sin), and my bones waste away.” Guilt from the wrong things we do causes depression. Repenting and asking for God’s forgiveness and forgiving yourself will help you overcome depression from guilt and shame. And, Psalms 42:5,11; “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.” Cast down means to grieve and be depressed. How David overcame his depression was to turn to God and hope in Him. God is our hope too, and He will lift us out of our depression when we turn to Him for strength and salvation.

In 2Corinthians 7:6 the Apostle Paul says, God is the comforter of the depressed, and He sent Titus to comfort Paul and his companions. Then Paul was put in prison, which would make me depressed. Many people visited him to encourage him. If you are depressed or are living with someone with depression, find someone who understands and is willing to pray with you and encourage you.

Depression is a normal reaction to loss, pain, or disappointment. We are disappointed by unmet expectations. Depression is not a sin, but it shows where your heart is hurting. The Prophet Jeremiah was known as the lamenting prophet because he was depressed by the coming loss and destruction of the nation of Judah, who refused to repent of their sins.

The Old Testament Patriarch, Job, was depressed for good reason. Satan kills all his children, causes his wealth and possessions to be taken from him, and caused boils to cover his body. He writes in Job 10:15; “If I am guilty, woe to me! If I am in the right, I cannot lift up my head, for I am filled with disgrace and look on my affliction.” Have you ever felt disgraced and your head hung down in sadness? Do the troubles you face cause you to be depressed? Psalm 121:1-3 explains how to overcome depression because of troubles; “I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth. He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber.” When I change my focus from my troubles to God and His promises, then I feel peace and joy again. You can read in http://Trust God to Keep His Promises how God helped me during my divorce and custody battle.

My life with depression and how I overcame it.

I discovered that not feeling valued as a child causes a stronghold of rejection to take hold of your mind. It keeps your focus on the negative events causing the rejection. I believe rejection leads to depression because we all want to be loved and valued. So, when this expectation is not met, I feel betrayed, angry, fearful, anxious, insecure, apathetic, or many times, pathetic. Is this something you have experienced? There is hope. I write in my book on this website about how to be free from the stronghold of rejection and many more strongholds. Begin reading with chapter one to understand the role our memories play in developing strongholds and depression. 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

My depression was the worst when I was married to my first-husband who abused me. I did not feel valued, accepted, or loved. Many of my friends said I needed to get on anti-depressants. But instead, I became a raw food vegetarian. What? My sister gave me a book called “God’s Way to Ultimate Health” by Dr. George Malkmus. The book was very compelling, but what sold me was the story of a woman who had severe depression and became free from depression by following the raw food vegetarian diet. My diet was terrible and I had a lot of other health problems, so I went all in. Within six months, I was healed of almost all my health problems, including depression and endometriosis. I found out that the hormones in the meat I was eating caused my endometriosis. I am not a raw-food vegetarian any more but 50-80% of my diet is consistently raw foods. I do eat organic meats a couple times a week.

I wonder if my depression was cured because I was no longer eating preserved junk foods and sugar products. Sugar affects the chemical balance in your brain and causes inflammation. To learn more, research how sugar affects the brain. Physical activity stimulates the release of dopamine, nor-epinephrine, and serotonin. These brain chemicals play an important part in regulating your mood.

Having a happy place helps with some types of depression because it is a distraction from the situation that is distressing you. Your happy place could be pictures, a pet, comedy shows, music, reading the Bible, etc. At the beginning of the quarantine, I got bantam chicks to help with my depression.

Another cure for depression is forgiving. For instance, I became depressed when my son would not make plans to visit with me when he came back for a wedding. Both my husband and I invited him and his wife several times for a visit, but they made up excuses. They stayed with her parents, who lived five minutes away. I let my thoughts go to every dark corner to gather up as much self-pity as my mind could find. I went to God and my happy places and could find peace or joy. Then I forgave him. Immediately the depression was gone. After calling him to see what he was up-to, I let him know how I felt (minus the self-pity) and that making time to visit would be nice. He and his wife did come over the next day before going back to their home state.

This last way to overcome depression is harder than forgiving, and that is being thankful. The Bible encourages us to always be thankful and to rejoice. I write about this in my post called http://A POWERFUL MOOD CHANGER, I encourage you to read it.

Conclusion:

Depression is different for each of us, but it often occurs when you focus on your hurt and loss. To overcome, change your focus by doing things that make you happy and finding things to be thankful for, like focusing on Jesus. Depression from the guilt of sin can be remedied by repentance and forgiveness. When you feel no hope, hope in the promises of God. Overcome depression from rejection by forgiving those who reject you and healing painful memories, which I describe how in my book. Correct depression from brain chemistry imbalance by eating a Mediterranean diet, eliminating sugar products, and exercising. But also consider an anti-depressant to correct the brain’s chemical imbalance, and that is okay. Because my depression is situational and short-term, I would take Saint Johns Wort and 5HTP to help me get through a difficult time. Whatever type of depression you have, there is hope to not let it keep you down in the pit and steal your joy.

If you know someone who is struggling, come alongside them and comfort them as Titus did for Paul. Also, learn the signs of suicide and be willing to intervene for the severely depressed person.

Please leave a comment, I would like to hear what your happy place is or how you overcome when you feel depressed.

RELATED POSTS:

Joseph, an Example of Suffering Well and God’s Response: Part 2 of Suffering Well

Can You Be Too Heavenly Minded?

Thoughts That Create Peace Within and Without

WHY SHOULD I FORGIVE

WORDS HAVE POWER—PART II: Words produce death or life energy

Five Steps to Heal Your Heart and Purify Your Soul

The Link Between Disappointment, Resentment, and Self-control

Are Your Relationships Improving Your Well-Being?

Healthy Boundaries for Toxic Emotions and People

Pt. 1: Forsaken? Betrayed? How to trust again.

15 Promises We Can Trust God to Keep

HOPE: How it Motivates and Inspires BUT God’s Sovereignty…

Pt. 2: Why You Can and Cannot Trust God? 

If you find my posts and website helpful, please send a link to your friends and family. Hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and may not be reproduced without permission from Joyce Hanscom.  You can contact me by emailing hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com.  P.S., seeing lasting change your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

Unanswered Prayer? Are You Presentable?

If you were to appear before a King or Ruler of a Nation and given the chance to ask him or her to do something, how would you dress and act? Take a moment and visualize it. Would you be humbled, cleaned up, neat, polite, be conscious of customs as not to offend, etc.? Now, how is that different than coming before the King of the Universe in prayer? Do you think you can go before Him in pride and with an unrepentant, filthy heart and demand Him to give you what you want?

To continue the simple illustration of electricity. Suppose prayer is the power cord, and faith is the action of plugging into the power source. In that case, hope is the expectation the power source will deliver results. If a lamp is plugged in but does not turn on, you need to look for the reason. Prayer connects you to God through the Holy Spirit that dwells in you when we believe in Jesus Christ and receives forgiveness for our sins. Unrepentant sin short-circuits the power of your prayers.

Reason Four: Unrepentant Sin short-circuits our prayers.

We cannot approach a Holy God in prayer if we are not presentable by having unrepentant sin in our lives. What is sin? Sin is disobedience to God’s instructions to love Him by keeping His commands and loving one another. Sin is knowing the right thing to do and not doing it (James 4:17). The following verses explain why unrepentant sin prevents your prayers from being answered.

Psalms 66:18 states, “If I regard wickedness (sin) in my heart, the Lord will not hear;”

Isaiah 59:1,2 states, “Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear.  2) But your iniquities (sin) have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden His face from you so that He will not hear.

1Peter 3:12 also says, “For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

Psalms 34:14-18 explains, “Turn away from evil (to harm) and do good; seek peace and pursue it. 15) The eyes of the LORD are toward the righteous and his ears toward their cry. 16) The face of the LORD is against those who do evil, to cut off the memory of them from the earth. 17) When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. 18) The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

Unrepentant sin includes not forgiving those who sinned against you because God instructs us to forgive. Matthew 5:23, 24, states, “So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First, be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” If you struggle forgiving those who did evil against you, please read my post on why we should forgive.

Wayne Jackson writes in “6 Reasons Why Some Prayers Are Never Answered” on ChristianCourier.com. “If you know that someone has a legitimate grievance against you, how can you sincerely approach God in prayer? Uncorrected problems with brethren are extremely detrimental. Peter certainly stressed that discordant home relationships could hinder prayers (1 Pet. 3:7). Where domestic wrangling and bitterness prevail, prayer can never be effective.” What do you think? Would you agree?

Solve the problem of sin through repentance and the work of Christ on the cross.

1John 1:9 states, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Pastor Darryl Baker writes in “Abiding in the Word” blog, “Because of what Christ did in bearing our sin and the punishment of our sin, we no longer need to live fearful of approaching our heavenly Father. The sin that separated us is gone and we can now approach God with complete confidence. So as a believer we should daily draw near to Him and He will draw near to us. Don’t ever run from God, run to Him. If you have sinned repent, and run back to the Father for He awaits with arms open wide to help you get back on your feet again.” And he writes, “It is the devil who tries to keep us from approaching God by making us afraid to do so through wrong thoughts. Scripture teaches us to come boldly to the throne of grace, to find grace and help in our time of need. God is waiting to help us overcome whatever we may be dealing with in life, but we must draw near to Him to get that help. The door is open so don’t ever run from Him. He is your answer, He is your deliverer, He wants to help you; and most importantly He wants you to know Him.”  I agree, but we need to come before Him with a repentant and humble spirit.

Hebrews 4:14-16 states, “Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession.

15) For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. 

16) Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

James 4:6-8 says, “But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.‘ 7) Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8) Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.”

These verses are the theme verses for my county jail Bible study. I have the women memorize them. One inmate return because her roommate had alcohol in the apartment which meant she broke her probation. When she came to the Bible Study, she was excited to still be able to quote the verses above from memory. I encourage you to memorize Hebrews 4:14-16 and James 4:6-8.

Conclusion:

God is loving, merciful, gracious, and slow to anger. Psalm 103:8 states, “The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.” He is also Holy and Just; Isaiah 5:16 says, “But the LORD of hosts is exalted in justice, and the Holy God shows Himself holy in righteousness.” So, we need to approach Him with humility and with repentance if we want him to hear our petitions.

RELATED POSTS

HOW TO PRAY USING THE LORD’S PRAYER AS A MODEL

Reasons One and Two Why Prayer Is Not Answered

Unanswered Prayer—Reason Three

How to Recognize and Eliminate Emotional Cancer


All verses are from the English Standard Bible.  If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S., experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

Yet Another Layoff—How to Rise Above Worry, Anger, Insecurity, and Grief

Tragic news sucks the life out of you, so how do you accept it and move on in hopes of a better future?

I am getting laid off because of the COVID19 pandemic. My husband found out, he is now furloughed with no guarantee he will return to work. Am I concerned, yes. Concern though is another word for worry and fear, but it sounds more sophisticated. Worry and fear are a trap, and when you get caught in it, it’s hard to get free. Grieving and anger are also a trap that keeps you longer than you want, and may even cripple you emotionally and spiritually. Since I have been through two other layoffs, I know God is faithful and will provide for all my needs.

Why does terrible news suck the life out of you?

You can’t help but worry, be fearful of the future, be angry, feel insecure, and grieve the loss. When you receive unpleasant news, your mind goes in every direction but on God’s promises. And if you are like me, you crave consistency, security, and routine. I hate change, especially losing relationships. And if our identity is in what we do, then we will become insecure. Losing a job is humbling, for some, humiliating. Layoffs take a mental, emotional, and physical toll in our lives and sap our strength when our minds focus on negative thinking. It is okay to not be okay when your world is changed.  It is natural to grieve a loss or losses and be angry at those who caused your loss. But if you stay there you will lose your life of peace and joy.  To change negative thoughts into positive thoughts, do the following three things.

Three positive ways to respond to tragic news.

First, recount God’s past miracles. God was faithful and helped me through many difficult days. My last lay off was no fault on my part but was because my new supervisor did not like me and wanted a staff change. I was devastated because I was the only one working full time and my son would lose his tuition break, plus I carried the health benefits. But God miraculously changed my husband’s job from part-time to full-time by the first day of the semester so my son could get the tuition break and to provide health benefits. Praise the Lord. Now, I need to practice my life verses in 1Theselonians 5:16-18 to “rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus.

Second, forgive those who caused your loss, even if it you are not at fault, you still get angry and offended for one reason or another. I may need to forgive China for not controlling the virus in their country and for letting their citizens fly to other countries to spread the virus, which caused my hardships and resulting layoff. Forgiveness releases the power of the offense you feel and prevents it from controlling your beliefs and actions.

For example, I woke up in the middle of the night ruminating over the fact that the Department Head assured everyone that no one would lose their job and the department is okay financially. She said she cared about everyone in her department and that everyone mattered. So, why am I being laid-off? Did she lie? My husband gently reminded me to forgive her. When I forgave her and took the negative thoughts captive and put them out of my mind, then I could go back to sleep. I woke up the next morning with the thought that I am a child of the King of the Universe. Why do I need to be concerned? John 16:33 Jesus says, “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

Third, trust God to keep His promises. Promise five of the 15 Promises post is God’s plans for you are for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11). I have written many blog posts on keeping your thoughts on the things of God so you can have peace and joy. To be honest, I was taking the anger and worry bait but reminded myself to take my negative thoughts captive and think about those things that are true and good, etc. Read these posts to learn more:

How do you seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness?

Psalm 91:1–How to Dwell in Heaven Now

Being Thankful During Hardships

ALL THOUGHTS ARE WITHIN OUR CONTROL

Thoughts That Create Peace Within and Without

Hope will help you get to the other side of awful news?

God wants to give you a future and a hope. 2Chronicles 16:9a tells us, “For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to give strong support to those whose heart is blameless toward him.” God wants to support us through the sad times, but we have to trust and obey Him. Also, an often-quoted verse that comforts us during hard times is Romans 8:28. “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” When we put our hope in God’s promises and purpose, then we will have strength, peace, and joy. The Webster dictionary says hope is a feeling that what is wanted will happen; desire accompanied by anticipation or expectation. Hope in God’s promises. The Bible says faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see (see Hebrews 11:1). I have written a post on hope that goes well with this post, you can read it here and Hope for Lasting Peace, Love, and Victory.

Conclusion:

You can choose to think negative thoughts and allow awful news to suck the life out of you, or you can turn your thoughts toward the promises of God and have peace and joy. There is hope only in God’s promises. Choose a promise and hold on to it and remind yourself of it and stay in peace and joy.  When I was going through my divorce I held onto the promises in Isaiah 61:7, “Instead of your shame there shall be a double portion; instead of dishonor they shall rejoice in their lot; therefore in their land they shall possess a double portion; they shall have everlasting joy. ” God fulfilled this promise in my life. He will be faithful to his promises you hope in as well.

Photo by nikko macaspac


If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the link to my post and website with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

RELATED POSTS

How the Devil Causes Hardships

How We Know God Will Never Forsake Us?

HOW FEAR CONTROLS YOU!

How to Embrace the Challenge of Change with Grace

CAUTION – HOW TO GET OUT OF THE PIT

Pt. 2: Why You Can and Cannot Trust God? 

How do you seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness?

Can You Be Too Heavenly Minded?

Why, What, and How to Submit to God and be FREE

A POWERFUL MOOD CHANGER

Do you wake-up grumpy or maybe dread going to work? Are you upset by what people do? Are you depressed and worried? Do you want to be joyful and positive? Our mood reflects the level we are offended by unmet expectations. The more offended we are the more despaired or angry our mood is. You may have a good reason to be upset, like when you go through an ugly fight, a divorce, or job loss. I’ve been there, I know. But, allowing those negative thoughts to control your life is not healthy, nor is it good for other relationships. The number one way to change your negative thoughts and negative mood is to be thankful.

You may be thinking, no way, I can’t do that.  Being thankful may be hard and sometimes impossible but with God all things are possible. Jesus said in Matthew 19:26, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Also read Mark 9:23 and Mark 10:27. And, 2Corinthians 15:57 states, “But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” Also read 2Corinthians 2:14.

How thankfulness changes a negative mood

When someone says thank you or doesn’t say thank you, how does that make you feel? If someone sends you a thank-you card, or you send a thank-you card. Do you feel positive or negative? The act of being thankful takes the focus off yourself and onto something positive. Have you noticed the more you focus on yourself, the more miserable you feel? My last post describes how sub-conscious negative thoughts affect our relationships and how to change your relationships and the world with one simple act. You can read it here if you haven’t read it yet: Relationship and World Changing Kindness

I was a depressed, miserable, angry, anxious person for a long time before I discovered the power of forgiveness, transforming painful memories, and being thankful. I discovered in my research that every thought has a life energy (positive) and a death energy (negative). Being thankful transforms a negative mindset into a positive mindset. A positive mindset makes you feel happy and at peace with yourself and your world. It is amazing how powerful thankfulness is in your life or circumstance. Being thankful is difficult to do at times because we tend to gravitate toward misery and resentment for some strange reason. I struggled being thankful my whole life.

What prevents a thankful heart?

First, PRIDE prevents us from being thankful people because a prideful person is only focused on getting their needs and expectations met! I was so focused on myself and having my expectations met, I couldn’t be thankful.  Not appreciating the things my husband did put a strain on our marriage.  Every person wants to be appreciated.  I wrote about how I became free from this roadblock to happiness in my blog called The Core Negative Heart Issue.

Second, painful memories prevent a thankful heart. Conscious and sub-conscious painful memories dictate our thoughts, feelings, beliefs, behaviors, and destiny. Read the following post to learn more: HOW MEMORIES INFLUENCE OUR THINKING, EMOTIONS, AND BEHAVIOR. Growing up in an abusive and dysfunctional home created a host of negative issues in my life. Read my post on how I transformed these painful memories: WHAT IS INNER LIFE TRANSFORMATION? My Story.  I also wrote a post on how I overcame the negative effects of a sadistic divorce and job loss: Trust God to Keep His Promises.

And third, unforgiveness keeps our mind focused on the negative, hurtful action that offended us and prevents us from being thankful. To learn why and how to forgive read: WHY MUST I FORGIVE.

How to be thankful

My husband heard we should think of two things we can be thankful for when annoyed or frustrated. Thinking a thankful thought instantly changes a negative mood. Try it. Think of something that is irritating you right now. Now think of two things related to the situation you can be thankful for. For example, if you are having issues with your co-worker. Think of two positive things about your co-worker and think thankful thoughts about those positives. Keep in mind, everyone has negative issues and trash thoughts that spills out of their mouth, that comes from painful memories or focusing on self-interests. If slow traffic annoys you, be thankful you don’t have to walk, you are comfortable, and you have extra time to pray and worship God. Upset with your partner? Find two to three positive traits or actions and be thankful for them.

(Take a few minutes and try this exercise.) How do you feel?  Sometimes I have to keep reminding myself to be thankful and for what.

Be sure to tell your partner or co-worker what the positive things you are thankful for in them. Telling someone what you are thankful for will powerfully and positively change attitudes. For a while my husband and I kept a little note pad around and we randomly wrote thankful or kind things about the other person. It was so much fun to see what my husband wrote, and I enjoyed writing thankful and kind things about him. It powerfully and positively changed our marriage. Try it.  It was recommended to keep the thankfulness notepad in the bathroom, so they can read it before going to bed.

Scriptural command to be thankful

The following are Scripture texts commanding us to be thankful and give thanks. Remember, when you disobey God’s commands, you are in sin and will suffer the consequences of unthankfulness, which allows misery and despair.  God knew focusing only on ourselves was self-destructive. He commands us to be thankful so we can experience joy and peace.

Ephesians 5:20-21 state, “Giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, 21) submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.” How would your life, marriage/partnership, friendships, and work environment change if you gave thanks all the time and for everything? 1Theselonians 5:18 states, “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Giving thanks in all circumstances is difficult, especially if you are diagnosed with cancer. The people who can find something to thank God for, are the most content and joyful people.  I heard a missionary to China say how joyful the Chinese Christians are despite risking the loss of their homes and being put in prison.

Ephesians 5:4 states, “Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.” Does the conversation at your family get-togethers digresses into gossip, foolish talk, and so on?  Next time, ask them what they are thankful for.  Other ways you can prompt wholesome conversations can be found in this post: Thoughts That Create Peace Within and Without

Philippians 4:6 states, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” When I am thankful for God’s love, provision, mercy, and grace and trust Him to take care of my problems, I feel peace and joy. When I begin to focus on the negative issue, I became anxious and stressed again.

Colossians 3:15, 16 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. 16) Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.” When I memorize Scripture, then I can teach and encourage others, and I can use those Scriptures to give thanks in my prayers. See my post on the things we can thank God for in Psalms 103: County Jail Study on Psalms 103. Also read, Who God is — Daily A-C-T-S Prayers Colossians 4:2 also states, Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.

The Old Testament gives us other reasons to give thanks to God:

1Chronicals 16:34 Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever! (Also see, 1Chronicals 16:41; 2Chronicals 7:3,6; 20:21, Ezra 3:11; Psalm 106:1; 107:1,8; 118:1,29; 136:1-3.)

Psalm 9:1 A Psalm of David. I will give thanks to the LORD with my whole heart; I will recount all of your wonderful deeds.” (Also see Psalm 86:12; Psalm 105:1.) Many times, I was so angry with a situation that the only thing I could be thankful for was the wonderful things God did for me in the past and will do in my current situation. By keeping my mind focused on Him, I was not focused on the negative situation or circumstance.

Psalm 116:17 I will offer to you the sacrifice of thanksgiving and call on the name of the LORD.” (Also see Ps. 50:14, 23; 107:22; Amos 4:5.) Sometimes we must give a sacrifice of thanksgiving even when we don’t feel like it. God is pleased with this sacrifice and will give you joy instead of misery.

Conclusion

Thankfulness is like guardrails that prevents your car from going over a cliff. So, thankfulness prevents your mind from crashing down the cliff of despair. Now, God commands us to be thankful so when we are not, we sin. Ask Him to help you be thankful when it is hard, and He will help you. You can be more than a conquer over negative issues in your life (see Romans 8:31-39), these verses also produce a thankful heart.

I wrote a short book called “Hope for Complete Healing.”  I describe how to transform negative issues in your life by taking the offending thoughts captive and loosing them from your mind.  Then to transform the associated negative, painful memories with truth to render them powerless. Transforming painful memories involves thankfulness to change negative thoughts into positive thoughts.  I describe this process in my book and in this blog post: Five Steps to Heal Your Heart and Purify Your Soul. I made this book available on my website and I can send you a paper copy. If you want me to send a copy of my booklet, please contact me and let me know.

There is hope to change a negative mood into a positive mood through thankfulness.

Other Related Posts:

POSTS Related to Relationships

POSTS on Thoughts


If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

The Core Negative Heart Issue

Why do I become offended?  Why don’t I consider the interests of others?  Why do I want to control what other people do or don’t do to satisfy my interests?  Why do I find it hard to do what the Apostle Paul writes in Philippians 2:3-7 (ESV)?

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.  NIV – Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,  KJV – Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.  NASV – Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;

4) Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. NIV – not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.  KJV – Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. NASV – do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.

5) Have this mind (attitude) among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.

Why is it hard to value others as more important or significant than ourselves? God put His finger on the core issue of my heart. PRIDE. When someone doesn’t do or say what we want, then we get hurt or angry. Why?  According to verse 3, we may not value others as more important than ourself.   When God does not answer my prayers the way I want, I get hurt and angry.  Pride says, “What I want is more important than you or what you want.” The fact is, pride fuels every negative thought and emotion we have. To learn more about pride read: HOW PRIDE DESTROYS.

You know you are free from pride when you consistently do what the Apostle Paul exhorted the Philippians to do in Chapter 2, verses 3-4. The Apostle Paul says we are to do nothing from selfish ambition, selfishness, strife, or conceit. HELP. James tells us in Chapter 3, verses 13-18 that selfish ambition is earthly, nonspiritual, and demonic. YIKES. I need to repent.

James 3:13-18 state, Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness (humility, gentleness) of wisdom.

14) But if you have bitter jealousy (envy) and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth.

15) This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual (sensual), demonic.

16) For where jealousy (envy) and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile (evil) practice.

17) But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.

18) And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

Are you a person who is pure, peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial, and sincere? Pridefulness prevents us from being wise.  We need to put off our pride if we are to have the same attitude as Christ. We are born self-centered beings, which only gets worse. So, what is the remedy? Since pride generates negative heart issue and is a sin, go through the five steps to heal your heart and purify your soul.  Remember, sin is doing evil by not loving and valuing others and God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength.


I know I am being vulnerable when I share my prayer of repentance, but I want to demonstrate how to purify your soul. As I was asking God to show me the things I needed to put off, I wrote them down. This was not an easy prayer to pray and I was visibly shaking because pride had such a grip on my mind. It is through our pride that evil spirits control our thoughts and emotions, so it needs to go. I use the name of Jesus because we are commanded to in John 14:13, 16:24, and other Scripture passages.

Read, Four Reasons for Authority in Prayer

Lord Jesus, I confess the contributing issue to not loving others well, and not considering the interests of others, or seeing them as more significant than me is the sin of pride. I loose and put off the sin of pride out of my soul and the evil spirit attachments in Jesus’ name. Lord, forgive me for being prideful and not seeing others as more significant than myself.

Forgive me for wanting others to serve me instead of me serving others in love. I bind in your attitude of humility and servitude into my heart and mind in Jesus’ name. Lord, help me to focus on doing what pleases You and not on the negative issues of (I prayed through the various issues God brought to my mind.)

Lord, I loose and put off the unhealthy belief that my interests are more important, and people should do what I want. I bind in the spirit of humility to every cell of my body, so I can have the wisdom from above that is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere, in Jesus’ name. I loose and put off all selfish ambition from my mind and heart, in Jesus’ name. Forgive me for insisting that things are done my way and becoming ugly and saying unkind things. Loose and put off the negative emotional energy I put into my family because of my prideful attitude and the unkind things I said, in Jesus’ name.

Remove the guilt of being prideful from my heart and mind. Lord, loose and destroy the generational sin of pride from my genetics and the genetics of my children, in Jesus’s name. I thank You, Lord, for helping me in my weakness when I focus on my needs to focus instead on You through praise, prayer, and pondering the Scriptures. Thank you for cleansing me from all unrighteousness and for making me a more loving person.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Related Posts:

Love From a Pure Heart

Hope for Lasting Peace, Love, and Victory

Thoughts That Create Peace Within and Without

Wise Thoughts vs. Foolish Thoughts

Bondage to Unseen Controls

WHY HEAL YOUR HEART AND PURIFY YOUR SOUL?


If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

Five Steps to Heal Your Heart and Purify Your Soul

Before you can heal the negative issues in your heart, you first must acknowledge you have them. Second, you must want to be healed. And third, you must seek God to help show you the painful memories and unhealthy beliefs that need to be healed.  If you haven’t read the previous post, please do so to understand the reason for healing your heart and purifying your soul: WHY HEAL YOUR HEART AND PURIFY YOUR SOUL?

The negative issue I want to heal is being anxious, upset, and judgmental concerning vacations to the Outer Banks. Every time I think about the Outer Banks, I am consumed with negative beliefs and thoughts. I want to be free from the consuming negative reaction every time it is mentioned.

To realize what issues in your life need healing, journal the events of your life from conception to the present.  Title each section with age titles, such as 1-2, 2-3, or a general time frame such as before elementary school.  You may need to ask relatives for the details. Even a death in the family or other tragedies, such as a job loss, affects our beliefs at a young age because we react to the strong feelings of those around us. For example, when I was about 6 or 7 years old, one of my cousins was in a car accident and his whole body was in a cast. The memory of that image left an impression on my young mind that developed into a fear that needed healing. Also, if you grew up with someone who was angry and unpredictable, you will become insecure and anxious.  Read my transformational testimony for an example: WHAT IS INNER LIFE TRANSFORMATION? My Story

Read my short book describing the research and prayer methods I used for my healing from an abusive childhood. In my book are examples and worksheets that will help you find the painful memories that need healing. Only God can heal because He only knows what is in our minds and heart. So, make sure you are rightly related to Him by believing He sent His Son Jesus Christ to die for your sins. Ask Him to forgive your sins and come into your heart to help you overcome the sin in your life that has damaged your soul. And to heal the hurt in your heart from people’s sins against you. 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

List the current issues, problem, or concerns in your life. This is not a quick process, but one that is well worth your effort. Also, look for issues that control your life, such as addictions, anger, worry, and depression.  You can take my quiz to discover childhood issues that may need healing: DISCOVER UNRESOLVED NEGATIVE HEART ISSUES QUIZ

To understand how to pray with authority, read Four Reasons for Authority in Prayer

  1. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal the contributors for each issue (problem, concern) such as the painful memory or memories of painful experiences or sin.  Painful experiences could be from a trauma, a word curse, unmet needs, betrayal, poor choices, or rejection. You may get an answer right away or you may have to wait a few days.  Be conscious of the quiet voice of the Holy Spirit speaking within your soul.  All painful memories have a negative stress energy that also needs to be removed  from our mind and body.  Sin has negative spirit attachments that needs to be removed by putting them off in Jesus’ name (see John 14:13 and 16:24.  Sin is anything you do that is not loving and valuing others and God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength.  It is helpful to review the following worksheets on my website and read Chapter Five of my book for guidance:

LOVE Issues,  JOY IssuesPEACE IssuesPATIENCE Issues

KINDNESS Issues, GOODNESS Issues, TRUST AND FAITHFULNESS Issues,

MEEKNESS, HUMILITY, AND GENTLENESS Issues, SELF-CONTROL Issues

  1. Forgive those who sinned against you (see Matthew 6:14:15, Colossians 3:13, and Ephesians 4:32). Do not dwell on the painful memories but be quick to forgive, though you may need to grieve a loss, which is healing.  Remember, forgiveness releases you from the emotional control of the painful memories contributing to the issue needing healed.  PRAY: “Dear Lord, I forgive (name of the person or persons) for causing the pain of __________.”   To learn more read WHY SHOULD I FORGIVE
  2. Replace unhealthy beliefs with truth. Write down the lies or unhealthy beliefs the Holy Spirit reveals that are associated with the heart issue needing transformed by the truth. Next, write the truths to replace the unhealthy beliefs. Look at each of the Spirit Characteristics Worksheets listed in step one to find the truth to replace the lies you are believing.
  3. Repent of sins. List the sins you committed because of your wrong thinking and unhealthy beliefs and decisions related to the issue needing healed. Confess them to God and ask His forgiveness and to then take all your guilt and resentment away (see 1 John 1:9).
  4. Write a thanks to God for something He did to protect, provide for, or comfort you.

AN EXAMPLE FROM MY LIFE

The following is my journal entry and prayers concerning negative issues related to vacations at the Outer Banks.

The contributors to my negative Outer Banks issue are painful memories of hurricanes and the terror of rip tides.  I became very upset when rip tides were tearing the beach up and my husband and his sister decided to walk the beach at night with the small children.  I did not go because I knew the danger but could not convince them of the danger.  My anxiety was so high, and I became very angry at how stupid they were to put themselves and the children in danger.

I PRAY: Dear Lord, I forgive my husband and sister-in-law for risking their lives and my children’s lives when they walked the beach at night while rip tides were tearing up the beach.  Loose the negative stress energy painful memory from my mind and from every cell in my body.  Forgive me for being anxious, angry, and not trusting You. I loose the wrong belief that my husband and sister-in-law are stupid and careless. I bind into my mind the truth that You were protecting my family despite the danger. I loose the unhealthy belief that my anger can control my husband’s behavior to do what I think is right. I bind in the truth that I can practice self-control over my emotions and trust God with the decisions of others. Loose this negative stress energy of the unhealthy beliefs from my mind and every cell of my body. In Jesus’ name. (There were many other unhealthy beliefs I had to loose and bind in the corresponding truth to replace the unhealthy belief.)

During another vacation the waves were so huge that when I attempted to go in the ocean, I lost my dignity and the children will never be the same.  This and many other painful experiences caused me extreme anxiety, so I stopped going on those family vacations.  My husband went without me, which caused me to worry if he would die.  I PRAY:  Lord, forgive me for not trusting you to keep my husband safe.  Loose and remove the negative energy from this unhealthy belief. In Jesus’ name.

One year my father-in-law became very ill and the family did not take him to urgent care.  I PRAY:  Lord, I forgive my husband and his family for not getting my Father-in-law to see a doctor when he became very ill.  I loose the wrong belief that they did not care about him and did not want to take the time from their vacation to take him to the doctor. Loose this negative stress energy from my mind and every cell of my body. In Jesus’ name.

My painful memories are many, and they caused me to hate everything about the Outer Banks. I PRAY: Heavenly Father, loose and remove each bad memory related to the Outer Banks and the negative stress energy from every cell of my body they created in my heart and mind. And, loose the negative feeling of hate from my heart. In Jesus’ name.  And, Lord, loose and remove the unhealthy belief that the Outer Banks is a terrible and stressful vacation.  Loose and remove the wrong belief I must be in control and things must go my way. In Jesus’ name.  I bind into my mind the truth that there were good times and good memories of the fun things we did.  I bind in the truth that I can get along with my husband’s family through Your love and help. I bind in the truth that Your Word says I should give preference to the desires of others.  I bind in the truth that I do not have to be in control and things do not have to go my way for me to be happy.  I bind in the truth that I can serve others in love. In Jesus’ name.

I PRAY:  Lord, I confess and ask Your forgiveness when I became angry and anxious and sinned by not trusting You and praying about the things that concerned me. Forgive me for throwing anger fits when things did not go my way or when I became frustrated.  Forgive me for complaining instead of being thankful.  Forgive me for being judgmental and critical of the actions of my family.  Loose the guilt and negative stress energy my anger and anxiety created from my mind and every cell of my body. In Jesus’ name.

I PRAY: Thank you Lord for keeping my family safe during the hurricanes we vacationed in and protecting my family from drowning in rip tides. Thank you for the good times we had and help me focus on the positive things I experienced while on vacation at the Outer Banks. In Jesus’ name.

Now when I think about vacations at the Outer Banks, I do not have any negative feelings.


Examine your family history, if you see the same pattern of negative issues, then assume the issue is generational. Ask God to then loose and remove genetics and DNA markers for that issue from every cell in your body. Ask God if the issue is a curse that has passed down to you, if so, ask Him to break the curse from your life and the lives of your children, in Jesus’ name.

Next, ask God to show you if you have a stronghold protecting your painful memories and unhealthy beliefs. You may use the stronghold combinations I have identified in Chapter Three of my short book—though your memories, offenses, and unhealthy beliefs may differ from the ones I have identified.  3–Breaking Free From Mental Strongholds

I am praying for you as you take this journey of healing.


If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom. 

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

Victorious Thinking to Live a Successful Life

The girls in my county jail Bible study struggle to live successful lives.  Most of their problems and troubles result from their wrong thoughts.  The progression of thoughts to results is as follows.  What we think affects our emotions.  Our emotions control our behavior.  And, our behavior directs the events of our lives.

For example, destructive thoughts come from thinking of things that offend you, which causes you to be angry, fearful, or sad. When you are fearful, angry, or sad, you will act out these emotions in aggressive or passive-aggressive ways. Passive-aggressive behavior varies but can be silence, avoidance, harming yourself by cutting, using drugs, turning to alcohol, etc.   When you act on your negative emotions, then there will be strife in yourself and with others.  Strife destroys relationships in partnerships, jobs, churches, etc., which will negatively affect your life and the lives of your family.  Review my post on the one thing that destroys relationships.

To be healthy emotionally; think positive and thankful thoughts.  When you think positive thoughts, then you will act or behave with kindness and grace.   Showing gratitude and grace will strengthen your relationships.   Showing grace is saying a kind word or forgiving someone when they may not deserve it.  See my post on A POWERFUL MOOD CHANGERThoughts That Create Peace Within and Without.

The first step to victorious, successful living is to be spiritually healed.  Spiritual healing begins by confessing we are sinners in need of a savior.  Then believing Jesus Christ is God the Son, who died and rose again, forgives our sins, and frees us from sins control (See Jn 1:29; 1 Jn 4:15; 1 Pet 1:18-19; Col 1:14; & Gal 5:1). When we confess this with our mouth and believe it with our heart, then God the Holy Spirit and His love, life, and light enter our hearts (See Gal 4:6 & 1 Cor 6:17). If you have not made this confession, then do it now to experience spiritual healing (See Rom 10:9-13 & Eph 2:1-10).  Next, practice the following actions to live a victorious and successful life.

1)  Live through Christ Jesus: See 1 John 4:9-12, 17; 2 Cor 13:4; Gal 2:20.  Live through Christ by doing the following actions.

  • Keep your mind on Him and transform your thinking: See Col 3:1-4; Is 26:3; James 1:21; Rom 12:2; Phil 4:8
  • Seek His help when you struggle with temptations and wrong thinking: See Heb 2:17-18; 4:15-16; 1 Cor 10:13
  • Abide (stay; dwell) with Him, and His words abide in you: See Jn 15:1-8; 1 John 2:24; Jam 1:21-25; 4:6-8; Matt 7:24-26
  • Forgive as He forgave (key to successful relationships): See Matt 6:12-15; 18:21-35; Col 3:13; Mark 11:25
  • Be humble as He is: See Phil. 2:3-11; Matthew 11:29; 1 Peter 5:5
  • Love as He Loved: See John 15:9-14; 1 Cor. 13:4-7; 16:14

2)  Rely on the Holy Spirit as your Helper:  See John 14:26 and John 15:26. To renew us See Titus 3:3-7 & 1 Cor 6:11. To put off your old life and put on a new life: See Eph 4:22-24; Col 3:5-15; 2 Cor 5:17

3)  Die to sin and be free from its control, then do what is right by setting your mind on the things of the Spirit:  See 1 Peter 2:24; Rom 6:10-14; 8:4-11; 1 John 1:7; 3:5-8, 14; Col 3:5-17, Eph 4:17-32; 5:8; 1 John 1:9; Hebrews 12:1-2; 1 Pet. 2:11; James 1:21; Gal 5:22-25. Deny your fleshly desires (sin/evil) and avoid the consequences:  See James 1:13-15; Gal 5:16-21; 6:7-8; 1 Cor 6:9-10; Rom 8:7-8, 13-14; Mark 7:20-23; Rev 21:8

4)  Pray continually: See Phil 4:6-7; Rom 12:12; 1 Thes 5:17–Turn every wrong, sinful thought into a prayer of repentance and renewal immediately.  The longer you think wrong thoughts the further down the wrong path you will go (1 John 1:9; 3:21-24).

5)  Submit to God and stand firm against the enemy of your mind and faith:  See James 4:7,8; Gal 5:1; Eph 6:10-17; 1 Peter 5:6-10; Heb 11:1, 6; 12:1-3; 1 John 5:4-5

6)  Persevere through trials; trusting God is at work, and put your hope in Him: See John 16:33; 1 Peter 1:6-9; 4:12-14, 19; Matt 6:33-34; 8:28; James 1:2-4, 12; 5:11; Heb 10:36-39; 12:5-7; Rom 5:2-4; 8:18; Lam 3:21-25; Is 30:18; Ps 62:5-8; 147:11; Luke 6:22; 2 Cor 4:17-18; 12:10

7)  Do the will of God, found in the Word of God:  See James 1:21-25; 1 Peter 4:2; Matt 3:35; Rom 12:2; 1 Thes 4:3; 5:12-18; 1 Pet 2:15; 1 John 2:17; 5:14-15

8) Each day, put on the armor of God:

  1. Believe the truth of God’s Word (your spiritual belt). See John 8:32; 14:6; and 17:17.
  2. Be righteous through Christ (your spiritual breastplate). See Romans 8:7-10; 10:3; Philippians 1:11; and 3:9.
  3. Spread peace and share the Gospel message (your spiritual shoes). See Mark 8:35; Acts 10:36; Romans 1:16; and 5:1.
  4. By faith, trust God to deliver you from all your troubles (your spiritual shield). See Psalm 91.
  5. Know your salvation is sure and renew your mind (your spiritual helmet). See Acts 4:12; Ephesians 4:17-24; Philippians 2:12; 1Thesolonians 5:9; and Hebrews 5:9.
  6. Study and memorize God’s Word and rely on the Holy Spirit to lead you (your spiritual sword). See John 14:26; Hebrews 4:12.

There is hope for complete healing only in Jesus Christ and living a victorious life through Him.


If you find my posts and website helpful, please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).