Do you distrust people or just certain people? Do you distrust God? Why? In this post, you will learn why you distrust and then learn how to diminish the distrust belief. Because my first marriage was abusive, I had to learn to trust again. I didn’t even trust myself because I lacked self-control, but more on that in another post. When I began dating my present husband, I wanted to test his sincerity, so I set a boundary of no kissing. I wanted to know if he respected boundaries and respected me. I also did not want to become sexually involved, which kissing usually leads to. We dated for a year and did not kiss one time, and then he asked me to marry him. My response was, “Well, you haven’t given me a reason to say no.” What a way to say “yes.”
My website is about changing unhealthy beliefs to experience a new reality. What we think and say comes from what we believe, and what we believe directs our behavior. Our choices determine how healthy our relationships will be. In this series of posts, I will expose the unhealthy beliefs that control our lives and how to transform them with the truth to experience a new reality.
What is Trust to Understand the Distrust Belief
Trust is to have confidence in and be able to rely on someone else, especially in God. An honest person does not lie, cheat, or steal. A trustworthy person is someone who is loyal and will be faithful and dependable. A dependable person can be relied on and is predictable. We all want fidelity in our relationships, which is a faithful devotion to duty or one’s obligations or vows. We are more likely to be submissive (yield to the actions, control, power, and so on) when we trust those in authority over us. Also, peace and love thrive in a trusting environment.
As you read the above paragraph about trust, a few painful memories may have been triggered, reinforcing the distrust belief. I have written several posts on this subject that you will find helpful.
Pt. 1: Forsaken? Betrayed? How to Trust Again.
Pt. 3: Seven Markers of a Trustworthy Person
Where Does the Distrust Belief Come From?
Children naturally want to trust people. They believe what they are told is the truth until they feel betrayed when their expectations are not met. Unhealthy beliefs develop in childhood when we go through a painful experience. The painful experience could be not getting something we wanted, so we develop the unhealthy belief that we are not loved. As adults, we still resort to the same false belief when our self-centered expectations go unmet. When our expectations are not met, then we develop distrust because we can’t trust the person to do what we expect.
As human beings created in the image of God, we possess the same emotions and expectations as God. We feel love and give love in an emotionally healthy environment that is free from sin. Unfortunately, we were also born with a sinful nature that causes us instinctively to be self-centered individuals. As sinners, we seek to please our fleshly desires. So, a child will love their parents when they feel loved as their needs and wants are met. But, when a child does not get their sinful desire, wants, or expectations met, they lash out in anger or other sinful behaviors. Immature adults do the same because of unhealthy beliefs.
As adults, we expect our friends and spouses to be loyal, faithful, and truthful. We desire to feel secure in our relationships. But when our loved one lies to us, gossips, slanders, is abusive (physically, emotionally, or mentally), or cheats on us, we feel betrayed and develop justifiable mistrust. No one likes to confront a person for sinful behavior that is ruining the relationship. Still, it is necessary to remove the source of emotional pain and forgive for the relationship to heal.
The distrust belief causes us not to trust God. I wrote several posts on this topic as well that will be helpful to read.
Pt. 2: Why You Can and Cannot Trust God?
Trust God to Keep His Promises
15 Promises We Can Trust God to Keep
HOPE: How it Motivates and Inspires BUT God’s Sovereignty…
How To Change Unhealthy Beliefs
1. To transform unhealthy beliefs, recognize you have them. Listen to what you are saying and pay attention to your thoughts and feelings.
2. Submit the wrong thinking to God and ask Him to show you the truth and give you the grace and courage to transform them.
3. Ask God to show you if there is a painful memory controlling your thoughts and decisions.
4. Pray and put off the unhealthy belief controlling your thoughts and put on the truth God shows you from His Word.
I first loosed the wrong thinking that God showed me and replaced it with scripture truths like the following:
- It is safe to trust God and do what is good, and He will direct me. Ps. 37:3-5
- I can trust God’s faithfulness to be a shield around me as I put my trust in Him, and I will not be afraid. Ps. 91:4; 56:4,11
- Trust believes God does good things, and I don’t need to be troubled, for He is my salvation. John 14:1; Isa. 25:9
- I can be trusted, and I am faithful with what God has given me. Lk. 16:10
- I can trust and believe my life has a purpose, and God has a plan for my life, which gives me hope. Jer. 29:11-14
- As I trust in God, He is my refuge, and His unfailing love and favor surround me. Ps. 32:10; 7:1; 5:12
- When I trust and believe in Jesus, I will not be disappointed. Rom. 9:33; I Peter 2:6b
- I will not put my hope in the uncertainty of riches but in God, who richly supplies me with all things to enjoy. I Tim. 6:17; Phil 4:19
- I am blessed when I trust and hope in the Lord, and I make Him my confidence. Jer. 17:7
RELATED POSTS
1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories
HOW MEMORIES INFLUENCE OUR THINKING, EMOTIONS, AND BEHAVIOR
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