Tag: Hate

17—Believers Can’t Be Separated from God’s Love 

Have you noticed the huge deficit of love in our world? Hate seems to dominate our politics and our families. Why? The answer is simple, Satan kills, steals, and destroys all that God called good. Because God is love, and we are made in His image, we need love in our lives. Satan causes dysfunction, abuse, discord, and separation in families to destroy love. Many of us grew up in homes where love was not shown or if it was shown, it was selfish. As children, we develop the wrong belief that we must earn love or be a certain way to be loved. This false belief affects our view of God’s love for us. We get married, wanting to be loved sacrificially but not knowing how to give sacrificial love. Often, we marry equally wounded people and then pass on our unhealthy beliefs about love to our children. God’s love is perfect.

Trying to grasp how much God loves us is like trying to understand how He made the Universe. God’s love is so vast and immeasurable, yet 1John 4:12 states, “No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.” This post is not about how to love but how we display the love of God to others. I have written many posts on love because love is the holy grail of Christianity. If you are interested to learn more, read LOVE Issues.

Love is why God sent His only Son into the world to die for our sins and to give us liberty from our sinful nature. Ephesians 3:17-19 states, “So that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.” How awesome is that? And Romans 8:38-39 states, “For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Satan may put wrong thoughts in your mind like, “If God loved you, you wouldn’t be going through this,” or “What kind of Father would let his child go through something this hard?” “God doesn’t love you because you disappoint Him.” When we question God’s love, we can’t trust that He has our best interest in mind. Isaiah 54:10 states, “For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,” says the LORD, who has compassion on you.:”  God lets us go through hard things, to refine our hearts and strengthen our faith. Read my posts called Being Thankful During Hardships and 2— God Promises to Deliver Us from Our Troubles.

God’s Love Is Everlasting and Steadfast

But the steadfast love of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him, and his righteousness to children’s children. ̶̶̶ Psalm 103:17

In overflowing anger for a moment I hid my face from you, but with everlasting love I will have compassion on you,” says the LORD, your Redeemer. ̶̶̶ Isaiah 54:8

The LORD appeared to him from far away. I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you. ̶̶̶ Jeremiah 31:3

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. ̶̶̶ Lamentations 3:22-23

But the LORD was with Joseph and showed him steadfast love and gave him favor in the sight of the keeper of the prison. ̶̶̶ Genesis 39:21

Know therefore that the LORD your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations.  ̶̶̶Deuteronomy 7:9

Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever!  ̶̶̶ 1Chronicals 16:34

They refused to obey and were not mindful of the wonders that you performed among them, but they stiffened their neck and appointed a leader to return to their slavery in Egypt. But you are a God ready to forgive, gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and did not forsake them. ̶̶̶ Nehemiah 9:17

Remember not the sins of my youth or my transgressions; according to your steadfast love remember me, for the sake of your goodness, O LORD!  ̶̶̶ Psalm 25:7

Your steadfast love, O LORD, extends to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds. ̶̶̶ Psalm 36:5 

The English Standard Version records God’s steadfast love in 193 verses. We can trust God’s love has no end. The Apostle John said in 1John 4:8 that “Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.” How is your love toward those around you? 1John 4:11 states, “Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” We know we are abiding in God by how we love those around us. 1John 4:16-17 states, “So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. 17By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world.” Never forget that there will be a judgment, and we will have to give an account of all we did while in the flesh, whether good or evil (2Cor. 5:10).

Conclusion

Love is the central theme of God and Christianity. How do you rate on the love scale? Are you patient with everyone? Are you kind to the unkind? Are you gentle with the harsh? Are you self-controlled when tempted? If you struggle with loving others as God loves them, please read my website book; it will help you identify what controls your unloving thoughts and actions. We can trust that nothing will separate us from God’s love, but nowhere in the Bible does it say His love is unconditional. I will explore that truth in my next post.

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All verses are from the English Standard Bible. If you find my posts and website helpful, please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected, and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom and this website.

Check out my first book called Fighting Unseen Battles on Amazon. I would love to hear what you think. To learn more about my book, read: How to Fight Unseen Battles.

How to Dig up the Unforgiving Belief to Grow in Love

Is there someone who hurt you that you can’t bring yourself to forgive from your heart? Do you know someone who can’t forgive?” Do you believe the person who wronged you does not deserve forgiveness? I have come to realize that not forgiving is hatred. My website is about changing unhealthy beliefs to experience a new reality. What we think and say comes from what we believe, and what we believe directs our behavior, and our choices determine our destiny. In this series of posts, I will expose the unhealthy beliefs that control our lives and how to transform them with the truth to experience a new reality.

Where Does the Unforgiving Belief Come From?

The root of unforgiveness is resentment. I was offended by the hurtful words and actions of my mother, father, sisters, friends, and so on, which wounded my soul. The wounds began to fester, and resentment grew. When resentment grows, it becomes bitterness and hate.

Have you known an older person who was bitter because of the wounds from their past? We tend to relive the hurts to justify why we can’t forgive, and we give them the power to control our thoughts. As I said earlier, unforgiveness is hatred toward the person who you feel wronged you. Sometimes we are wronged by someone who did not intentionally want to hurt us, but we take offense by something they said or did or something they did not say or do. Does this make sense? Then there are those we thought loved us yet betrayed us. Betrayal creates a deep wound, and the person who betrayed us is the hardest to forgive.

As I seek God to heal the wounds of my soul, He shows me my resentment toward that person or persons whom I have not forgiven. It may be an offense I have forgotten about, but it grew into resentment that controlled my thoughts. The resentment that kept me in bondage was perceived unfair treatment. I say perceived because I felt something was unfair that may not have been unfair. If I thought my sisters had something I didn’t or got to do something I couldn’t, I would become jealous and think it was unfair.

An example could be that your sibling got a gift you liked. Instead of being happy for them, you became envious and thought it was unfair, especially if they didn’t share their gift with you. Resentment begins to take root. Years later, you wonder why your sibling irritates you. Go to God in prayer and ask Him to show you. You don’t need to forgive your sibling or parents because it was their gift, and they didn’t have to share. But you were offended when they did not share, so you still need to forgive them for not sharing.

Another source of unforgiveness is pride. We often don’t want to forgive because we think that forgiving is excusing them, and we would rather punish them. Unfortunately, we are hurting ourselves more by not forgiving because we give the person who hurt us the power to continue to hurt us through our memories. Sometimes we arrogantly think they don’t deserve to be forgiven. The parable of the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18:21-35 is an example of how pride keeps you from forgiving and what the consequence is. Jesus tells the parable when Peter asks, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times (Matthew 18:21-22). When we don’t show mercy and forgive as the servant didn’t, we will remain in bondage until we do forgive. Mathew 18:35 states,  “So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.” 

What Is the Truth That Transforms this Unhealthy Belief?

When we forgive, the power of the offense that controls our thoughts and behavior is removed. You may never forget the painful event, but the memory of that event won’t have power over your thoughts and feelings. You will be free to love and not be in bondage and controlled by hate.

The most important truth is that God forgives us of our sins, so we must forgive others. Otherwise, He will not forgive us. Matthew 6:14-15 states, “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” We are commanded to forgive, so if we don’t, it becomes a sin. If we are not forgiven of our sins, then we risk losing our place in heaven.

Know that Jesus suffered many wrongs and lies, yet He forgave even those who beat and whipped Him and then crucified Him (Luke 23:34). 1Peter 2:21-25 states, “For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. 22 He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. 23 When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. 24 He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.” God wants to heal the wounds of your soul from the hurt you suffered at the hands of sinners. Aso, ask God to show you how you have sinned against someone and hurt them because of the hurt in your heart.

How To Change Unhealthy Beliefs

1. To transform unhealthy beliefs, recognize you have them. Listen to what you are saying and pay attention to your thoughts.

2. Submit the wrong thinking to God and ask Him to show you the truth.

3. Ask God to show you if there is a painful memory controlling your thoughts and decisions.

4. Pray and put off the unhealthy belief controlling your thoughts and put on the truth God shows you from His Word.

I first loosed the false beliefs that God showed me and replaced it with scripture truths like the following:

  • I believe in Jesus and receive His forgiveness, and I believe He will help me forgive others who have sinned against me. Acts 10:43
  • I can forgive for my own sake, and I receive God’s love and put my trust in Jesus, who forgave me and gave me eternal life. John 3:16
  • I can forgive others who sinned against me, and I accept forgiveness from God for my sins. Matt. 6:14-15
  • Forgiving heals my heart so that I can be kind and tenderhearted. Eph. 4:31-32
  • Forgiveness sets me free from painful memories and opens my heart to love. Col. 3:12-14
  • I surrender my desire to punish, fill my heart with Your love so I can bless those who hurt me. Rom. 12:14
  • I can control how I respond to every situation. I choose to have compassion for myself and others. Col. 3:12-14

Conclusion:

Resentment grows into hate and bitterness, where unforgiveness is. I learned that forgiving those who mistreated me or did not meet my expectations helped me overcome my hatred and resentment. The key is to acknowledge you have the resentful feeling quickly, ask God to expose the wrong thinking, then put it off. Next, forgive if you need to and put on the truth. The freedom from the power of my painful memories has allowed me to love others from a pure heart. I can write a lot more, but you understand because everyone has experienced the feeling of resentment from an offense. I would love to hear how you overcame this unhealthy belief.

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All verses are from the English Standard Bible unless otherwise indicated. If you find my posts and website helpful, please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected. No part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom and this website. 

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Life-Changing Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, salvation for non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a person making the request.