Escapism, which is protected by the Strongholds of Loneliness and Discontentment

Every living person has felt lonely at one time in their lives. Some of us feel lonely all the time. It is my experience and observation that loneliness comes from a love deficit, both in receiving love and giving love, but more than that, it is a lack of felt love.  This often happens when there is a death.  It also happens if a person was raised in a dysfunctional or abusive home that lacked felt love.  Loneliness is most often accompanied by depression, in which we feel empty, alone, and unwanted. Loneliness and depression exist when we don’t experience unconditional love, which often leads to addictions.  Additionally, I found that the unmet desire to be unconditionally loved makes us want to isolate ourselves in order to suppress this unmet desire. We often isolate ourselves by escaping into drugs, alcohol, work, entertainment, sports, etc.  Moreover, we were created by God to be loved and to love and when that is not fulfilled we feel empty and alone, like an empty building.

Many married couples are very lonely and isolated because of dysfunctional or absence of love from their past that carried over into their marriage and is now being passed down to their children? We marry looking for love but when both have none to give, there in lies the beginning of a dysfunctional relationship and a dysfunctional family.  Many of us have a stronghold of loneliness that keeps us in bondage to unhappiness and depression. The stronghold of loneliness also protects the stronghold of discontentment.  Discontentment, according to Webster, is to lack contentment; to be dissatisfied; to have a restless desire for something more or different. To be content is to be satisfied with what one has and is not disturbed by a desire for something more or different.  We should make sure, though, that we do not have unrealistic expectations, which is also a source of discontentment. The stronghold of discontentment protects the authority seat of escapism; that is, the desire to escape from our loneliness and discontentment through many different means. Some of the means of escape are: drinking alcohol, doing drugs, watching TV, spending hours on social media, working long hours, playing video games, uncontrollable daydreaming, buying things, etc.

The following are the unhealthy beliefs this stronghold combination protects. The loneliness stronghold protects the following unhealthy beliefs: First, “I am alone because I am unlovable.” Second, “I need to isolate myself because I don’t trust that I won’t get hurt or I will be let down.” Third, “I am alone because I am different and unaccepted.” The unhealthy beliefs, protected by the discontentment stronghold are: First, “ I need more because what I have is not enough.” Second, “I need to have something different (i.e., life, car, house, furniture, spouse, job, etc., [different for each of us]).” Discontentment has many facets, but the remedy is thankfulness and trusting God to provide the things we need.

Next, evaluate what is on the escapism seat of authority (the throne within the protection of the strongholds) that is controlling your choices. I found that I needed to be busy all the time so I did not feel my loneliness or discontentment. I also found that I would daydream a lot to escape the mundaneness and boredom of life. Most times my thoughts were unproductive, futile, unprofitable, and empty musing. The escape mechanisms you have may be different, many times our escape mechanism is an addiction. Please visit my website to learn how I overcame this stronghold combination and addictions with the help of God, and how you can as well.

The above statements are passages from my book called “Unseen Battles for Your Mind,” which is in the editing stage, and therefore, is not to be recopied without my permission.

Author: Joyce Holzman Hanscom

I am working with the women in the county jail to transform their painful memories and negative heart issues so they can make good decisions. I am also a Sunday School and Bible teacher, trained initially as a computer science teacher.

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