Category: Relationship

The End Will Come: Part Four—Be Ready in Love.

1Thessalonians 5:2 states, “For you yourselves are fully aware that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night.” How should we be ready for Christ’s return? In  Part One, I explained why the New Testament writers thought the end was close. In Part Two, I describe how the Apostle Peter thought we are to suffer for the sake of Jesus Christ and how to complete our life’s race in victory. Part Three clarifies why you are to stay alert and sober-minded for the purpose of prayer until Christ’s return. This post explains why love identifies a real Child of God and how love covers many sins.

Matthew 24:44 states, “Therefore, you also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.” How should we be ready for Christ’s return? 1Peter 4:7-10 tells us what we must be doing when Christ returns.

1Peter 4:7-10 (NIV) states, The end of all things is near.

―Therefore, be alert (ESV says, be self-controlled; NAS says, be of sound judgment) and

―of sober mind so that you may pray.

―Above all, love each other deeply (fervently; earnestly) because love covers over a multitude of sins.

―Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.

―Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.

What does it mean to love each other deeply?

To love each other deeply is to love like God. He sent His only Son to be like us in every way and suffer the same temptations so He can help us endure and escape (see Hebrews 2:17-18; 4:14-16; and 1Corinthians 10:13.) God loves us so fervently that He asked His son to pay the penalty for our sin by being the perfect lamb and die on the cross for all humanity’s sins. John 1:29 states, “Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!”  Because God made us in His image, we can love as He does. But we can’t, why not?

How are we to love deeply and fervently?

When you love fervently, you love with great intensity of spirit, feeling, and enthusiasm. How many people do you know that love like this? I know I don’t. Why don’t I and most of humanity love others deeply? I can speak for myself that I don’t love with great intensity because of my soul’s wounds. I have put a guard up around my heart because I endured a lot of hurt from sinful people. Yet, when Jesus comes back, He is looking for people who love others fervently. Why? Because love covers a multitude of sins.

Sin is doing evil when we forsake God and disobey His loving, protective commands. He commands us to love (Luke 10:27 and Matthew 22:37-49.) 1Corinthians 13:3-7 tells us, “If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. 4) Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. 7) Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” The only way we can love as God loves is to purify our hearts from the hurt and offenses imposed on us by those who did not love us and sinned against us. I wrote a post on how to love from a pure heart called Love From a Pure Heart. I also wrote two posts on why and how to purify your heart WHY HEAL YOUR HEART AND PURIFY YOUR SOUL? and Five Steps to Heal Your Heart and Purify Your Soul.

Why do we sin, and how does love cover sin?

Genesis 4:7, “sin is crouching at the door, and its desire is toward you, but you must rule over it.” God is telling Cain to rule over or master his thoughts of anger and jealousy, but he didn’t and killed his brother Able.

Anger is not a sin because God gets angry, and He is perfect.1 Anger indicates you are offended by a perceived unfairness or unmet expectation. The term offended means to feel irritated, annoyed, or displeased because of someone’s sin, negligence, or disregard. Ephesians 4:26-27 states, “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.” We, too, must master our angry thoughts so we don’t act on the sinful desire to punish. More than that, we must master angry thoughts, so Satan does not influence our thinking. All sin begins in your mind as a temptation to give in to fleshly desires or to seek justice for an offense.2 LOVE COVERS SINS BY FORGIVING AND NOT HOLDING AN OFFENSE AGAINST THE OTHER PERSON. Proverbs10:12 states, “Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.” And Proverbs 17:9 states, “Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.” God’s love forgives our sins so that we can forgive others their sins and cover them with love. Read my post called WHY MUST YOU FORGIVE.

Conclusion:

When Christ returns, will He find you loving people by forgiving them and not taking up an offense against them? Love is challenging because it involves sacrificing our right to punish when we think we have been mistreated. 1John 4:8 states, “Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.” God will know only those who love Him and loves other people. Read my short book on this website to begin transforming painful memories that prevent you from loving with fervency, 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories.

1. God’s anger: Numbers 22:22; Judges 2:12; and Revelations 14:10.

2. Hanscom, Joyce, Unseen Battles For Your Mind-not yet in published.

All verses are from the English Standard Bible. If you find my posts and website helpful, please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected, and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom. 

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, salvation for non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name, so I know you are a real person making the request.

Idolatry and Soul Ties

Dear Friends,

Every living soul has wounds of rejection and will try to get their love-need met by equally wounded people. Wounded people cannot love us as God loves us. So, many of us become or have become sexually involved with a person to feel loved. Sometimes, we are so desperate for love and acceptance we will seek relationships with people we are not compatible with, and who don’t have the same beliefs. When you seek to get your needs met from a relationship instead of seeking God, that is idolatry.

The following Scripture warns against idolatrous relationships with unbelievers. 1Corinthians 15:33 states,“Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company ruins good morals.’” And, 2Corinthians 6:14 tells us, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” To be yoked is to be bound together, much like two horses are harnessed together to pull a carriage. If one horse is old and slow and the other horse is young and fast, they would be unequally yoked. Both horses will get hurt in some way.

Have you ever been unequally yoked? How did it work out? Being in a relationship with unbelievers or worldly Christians is risky because their minds are filled with the false beliefs of the world. Satan knows we are drawn away from our devotion to God and His truth when we become yoked with worldly people. For example, King Solomon’s pagan wives drew him away from his devotion to God by causing him to worship their idols.1 As a consequence, God caused King Solomon to lose his kingdom because he did evil by worshiping idols. Another consequence of being yoked is it creates soul ties.

What are soul ties?

What do you know about soul ties?  The short answer, soul ties, is the knitting of two or more individuals in body, soul, and spirit. Soul ties occur in three ways, emotional, sexual, and spiritual. For an example of an emotional soul tie, read the story of David and Johnathan. 1Samual 18:1 states, “As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.” The relationship between Jesus and Mary, Lazarus’ sister, is another example of a spiritual soul tie. And, sexual intercourse causes two people to become one flesh, thus creating a soul tie.2

When you have a soul tie with another person, your spirit will be affected by that person’s demonic spirit attachments. For example, I sought love from an unbelieving boyfriend in High School and he forced himself on me. The soul tie with him negatively impacted my marriage to other men until I broke it with a prayer to loose and put it off from my spirit in Jesus’ name. When that soul tie was broken, I felt a release of an oppressive spirit. I felt love for my husband for the first time. I did this with all my past unhealthy relationships. I am now free from a host of negative spiritual, mental, and emotional issues. So, to be free from the control of evil spirits in another person’s life, then the soul ties need to be loosed and put off.

You can be friends with unbelievers and share your testimony with them without forming a soul tie. However, close friendships or partnerships with worldly people or cultural Christians will open you to be influenced by the evil spirits influencing them. For instance, a person who is not devoted to Jesus Christ cannot submit to God and does not resist the devil. So, the devil will control them to do his will, which will negatively impact your life.3 The Apostle Paul explains this in his letter to the Romans:

Romans 8:5-8 states, “For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. 6) For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. 7) For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. 8) Those who are in the flesh cannot please God. ” For a better understanding of living according to the flesh, read Unseen Battle With The Secular World

How to find fully devoted Christian friends.

You need Christian friends who are fully devoted to God because if they are not, they will negatively influence your relationship with God. You might ask, how do I know if someone is submitted to God? I’m glad you asked. Use the following questions to learn if the person you may want a close relationship with is spiritually mature.

1) Do they talk about God and the Bible, or are they more interested in worldly entertainment and earthly things?

2) Do they display devotion to God, such as going to church, reading and memorizing Scriptures, sharing their faith, serving others, and praying?

3) Do they live like Christ-followers led by the Spirit, or do their lives resemble unbelievers following their sinful flesh?

4) Are they seeking to live holy and pure lives through Christ Jesus? How do they react to hurts, trials, and temptations?

5) Do they show they love God with all their heart, mind, soul, and strength by not having any idols in their lives as described in this chapter? Where are their devotions and affections (i.e., spend their time and money?)

6) Do your close friends show love for their neighbors by helping those in need, encouraging them with kind words, etc.?

7) Do they stay in forgiveness, or do they easily take up and hold on to offenses? This question will reveal if they are prideful and have wounds in their soul.

8) Are they thankful, or do they complain?

9) Are your close friends pursuing righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness, and peace?

10)Do they live by faith in Jesus Christ, or do they proudly rely on themselves to be good enough instead of trusting in Jesus Christ?

1. King Solomon and wives: 1Kings 11:1-13.

2. Sexual ties: Ephesians 5:31 and 1Corinthians 6:16.

3. Controlled by the devil: James 4:7 and 2Timothy 2:26.

Grace and peace to you,

Joyce

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All verses are from the English Standard Bible. If you find my posts and website helpful, please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected, and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Check out my first book on Amazon. I would love to hear what you think.

If you read my book and find it helpful, please leave a review. Also, if you want to do a Bible study with it, email me and ask for a free PDF of the leader’s guide. The PDF will have suggested discussion questions after each section. Quick links to all the scriptures in the endnotes for you to review or to copy and paste into your notes. Website links to review supporting material. Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. I will also send you the Lord’s Prayer Model to pray effectively. Please leave your name, so I know you are a real person making the request.

Are You a Sheep or a Goat?

Our current political environment is separating out the goats and the sheep? Read Matthew 25:31-46 for an example of who God says are the sheep and the goats. Hatred and intolerance abounds within the church, schools, universities, and communities. Why is this? The devil is working hard to sow division, dissension, destruction, and deception in our hearts. Where you see these things, you see the devil at work. Read more in Part 1: How to Achieve Genuine Goodness? and Part 2: How to Overcome Evil with Good.

People who identify as a “Christian,” do not always display the character of Jesus Christ. The character of Jesus and God is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. How does your thinking, actions, and words line-up with these characteristics? Ephesians 4:22-24 states, “to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.” No one is perfect, so we should daily renew our minds to line up with the character of God. Your mind determines what you think, perceive, feel, and believe, which then influences your decisions and behaviors. My book on my website will help you find the hurt and offenses in your life that block your ability to be like Jesus. 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories.

So how can you know who the true Christian’s are?

Though, no one knows the heart of another person except God, the Bible says in John 13:35 “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” Also, 1John 3:10 states, “By this it is evident who are the children of God, and who are the children of the devil: whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is the one who does not love his brother.” It does not matter what church you go to or what political party you are affiliated with, if you do not love you do not know God, nor can you give grace to a person you disagree with. 1John 4:8 states, “Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.”  I claimed to be a Christian for years but could not love because of the offenses in my heart. It is my life’s goal to purify my heart and be like Christ.

Here is the test. If you believe you love like a true Christian, rate your reaction to the following terms: Trump, Liberal, unborn baby, Antifa, Trump supporter, Nancy Pelosi. Do you feel hate, love, disgust, or anger? Someone said, President Trump (hard to say) claims to be a Christian, I cannot judge, and it is irrelevant, we all will stand before God and give an account for how well we love. 2 Corinthians 5:10 states, “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.”

What is the role of a Christian in Politics?

As I said already, no one is perfect, and you will not be in perfect agreement with everyone, which is why God gave us grace, so we can give it to others. Politicians are far from perfect because they all stretch the truth or evade parts of the truth to create their own narrative to get us to believe what they want us to believe. On the other hand, a true Christian is an ambassador of the Kingdom of heaven. 2 Corinthians 5:20 states, “Then we are ambassadors on behalf of Christ, as God exhorting through us, we beseech you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.” And, Ephesians 2:19 explains, “So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God,” The first allegiance of a true Christian is to God and to obey Him. Second, we are to love each other and do what is right in God’s sight. Third, we are to care for those in the church, the orphans, widows, and those in need. Last, true Christians support the politician that seeks to advance the love of God and country we are ambassadors in.

The most important thing true Christians can do is pray. 1 Timothy 2:1-4 states, “First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people (even enemies), for kings (presidents) and all who are in high positions (government officials), that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. 3)  This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.” Let us pray for the salvation of those who are not leading peaceful and quiet lives, and who are not godly and dignified in every way.

Grace and Peace to you,

Joyce

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Breaking Childhood Rejection and Insignificance Strongholds.

Rejection in my life began before I was born. My mother found out she was pregnant while attending nursing school, and had to quit and marry my father. Then she was alone in a navy hospital for about three months before my twin sister and I were born. No one came to visit her and my father was out to sea. Then my father was discharged from the Navy so he could take care of his new family. My mother was very unhappy with my father, because he was very irresponsible. I learned this when I found letters she wrote to my grandmother, which revealed a lot about how she was feeling and what was happening at the time I was born.

Thirteen months later another sister was born, who had a lot of health problems. Not only did I have to share my mother with my twin sister, but now I had to compete with another sibling. The spirit of rejection took a stronger hold on my mind. My classmates then rejected me because my family was very poor, and I wore hand-me-down cloths and had lunch tickets. The stronghold of loneliness took hold, and I became withdrawn and escaped into my dreams and watching TV. My mother was angry and depressed because of the spirit of rejection on her from my father and her childhood. Though my mother tried to love us, I never felt loved, which damaged my self-worth. I became dysfunctional in my ability to relate to people, and I could not love or trust other people.

The lies created by rejection and protected by the rejection stronghold.

Satan, who hates mankind and God, will cause children to feel rejected as early as he can to reinforce the stronghold of insignificance, and to keep them in bondage to insecurity. Satan knows that rejection damages our perception of ourselves, other people, and situations. For instance, have you ever felt rejected when you perceived someone excluding you but they weren’t? When you have the spirit of rejection, then you feel rejected when someone does not do what you expect, or does not agree with you, etc.

The first step to removing the spirit of rejection in our lives is to acknowledge its existence. Barbara Taylor, whose book From Rejection to Acceptance has helped many understand and cope with their feelings of being unloved. She wrote on page 48, “Until I was honest enough to admit there was a problem, I had no reason to seek help from God or man. More serious than this was the fact that until I saw the problem was with me, I was convinced that the whole world around me had the problem.” Taylor also lists five lies planted in a child’s mind, each one building on the other:

“I am not loved.”

“I must be unworthy of love.”

“I must perform to win love.”

“If I cannot properly perform, I will be ultimately rejected.”

“If I am rejected, then I must compensate for this rejection.”

?? Have you had any of these lies listed above in your heart and mind?

Damaged love tanks in marriage.

We all desire to feel significant, to be accepted and approved, and we shun rejection. When a person does not feel loved, they do not feel valued, and it damages their self-worth. So, the most painful emotions we store in our hearts are feelings of not being loved, valued, and accepted. Everyone’s love tank is damaged by unkind actions and words. God is love and He created us to love and be loved.

As adults, we expect imperfect people, who have equally damaged love tanks, to love us. So, when two people try to get love but can’t reciprocate love, then they become resentful and angry toward each other. This happened in my first marriage. Only God can love us perfectly, and only God can restore and heal our damaged love issues. The problem with this truth is when a person has a spirit of rejection on them, they also feel God is rejecting them, especially when their prayers go unanswered. So, the key to a healthy marriage is to heal our damaged love tanks and fill it with God’s love.

Getting self-worth from other people’s approval and transform unhealthy beliefs.

As an adult, when I perceived rejection in any form, whether it was rejecting something I said or did, I would become offended and say hurtful things. Even when people did not think as highly of me as I did, I felt rejected. Yes, I was prideful, and I felt I did not deserve to be rejected. This dysfunctional thinking and behavior affected my relationship with my family, and created a spirit of rejection in their lives.

The Holy Spirit showed me that it was a sin to find my significance in what I do, and my worth in people’s opinions. Satan tempts us to focus on other people’s opinions of us to keep us in bondage to getting our value from the approval of people. Our significance and worth come from God and His purpose for us. I repented and reprogram my mind to believe that it only matters what God thinks of me and not what unregenerate people thought of me. We need to understand that people’s opinions are based on their insecurities and damaged self-worth. So, if we are depending on other damaged people to give us worth, then we will remain feeling unloved and insignificant.

In prayer, I loosed and put off the unhealthy beliefs that I need approval to feel valued, and people have to accept me to give me a sense of worth. Then I put in to my heart the truth that God loves and accepts me because I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior and became a child of God, which gives me incredible worth and significance. I transformed my beliefs with the following truths. “I can be kind to people who do not value me because I know they have a damaged love tank.” (See Luke 6:35; 1 Thes. 5:15.) “I can receive God’s kindness and love and know that He will not reject me.” “I will live with God for eternity, so I will seek first His kingdom and find my self-worth in His love, peace, joy, and righteousness.” (Read Matt. 6:33; Rom. 14:17.)

Transforming unhealthy beliefs about my self-worth.

Do you believe your worth is in what you do, who you know, how much money and possessions you have, and in what others think of you? I believed the lie that I needed to be important and have significance to have worth. I believed I needed to be in control to feel important. I believed the lie that I needed to be successful to have significance, so I unknowingly rejected anyone who got in my way. In prayer, I loosed and put out of my mind these unhealthy beliefs and repented of these sins. Once my unhealthy beliefs were transformed by truth, I loosed and put off the negative emotional energy from the painful memories of rejection. After I worked through the healing process to eliminate my painful memories through forgiveness, unhealthy beliefs, and the stronghold of rejection, insignificance, and loneliness in my life, I became emotionally stable.

What I learned. The negative opinions that people have about you do not represent the truth, but reflect their damaged emotions and insecurities. When you try to get your worth from other people, from what you own, or from what you do, you will be disappointed and discouraged. Your worth is found in knowing and serving God. So, keep your mind on Jesus and what He thinks of you. Turn every disappointment in your life into a prayer, rejoicing in Jesus, and being thankful in all circumstances (1Thes. 5:16-18).

Hope in God to heal your negative heart issues. Read Psalm 139 to learn what God thinks of you. My book called “Hope for Complete Healing” explains in more detail how to be free from many other unhealthy beliefs and strongholds. 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

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How You May Be an Enemy of God.

These are very strong words. I do not want to be an enemy of God because I know what God can do to His enemies, and I want to be on His blessing side, do you? James 4:4 explains how we can become an enemy of God;

You adulterous (unfaithful) people!

Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God?

Therefore, whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.

Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”?

Do you want to be an enemy of God?

We all know how adultery destroys a marriage. So adultery with the world destroys your relationship with God. Friendship with the world looks different for each of us. Nonetheless, friendship with the world is when you desire the pleasures of the world to please yourself more than you desire the presence of God and to please Him. To know if you are worldly-minded, pray and put off pride, humbly draw near to God, and ask Him to show you. Also, read Unseen Battle With The Secular World.

You can’t love the world, or the things of the world and love God as described in James 4:4. There is no middle ground; you are either humbly submitted to God or pridefully submitted to the world. You cannot stand firm in your faith if you continue to do the things of the world and think worldly thoughts. Galatians 5:17 states, “For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for they are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.” And, Romans 8:7-8, explains, “For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. 8) Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.” The one thing that pleases God is faith. Hebrews 11:6 states, “And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.”

How does our faith please God?

By faith, we believe and seek first what God wants, just as a soldier believes in his commander and wants to do what pleases them. 2Timothy 2:4 states, “No soldier gets entangled in civilian pursuits since his aim is to please the one who enlisted him.” To be entangled means to twist together, so that disengagement is difficult. To avoid getting entangled we are to do what Jesus encourages us to in Matthew 6:33 “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness.” Seeking the kingdom of God is not easy as explained in Matthew 7:13-14 which says, “Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. 14) For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.” As Christians, we are to be single-minded and focused on our pursuit to stay on the narrow path and please God. The world’s enticements lead you down the wide path to destruction. The Apostle John tells us in 1John 2:17, “And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.”

What are the world’s enticements?

The world’s enticements most often come from the media. You must guard your mind against viewing, reading, and listening to media that glorify evil. The next two verses are good to pray and resolve to do. Psalms 119:37 states, “Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things (vanity); and give me life in Your ways.” Something worthless is useless and without value. Vanity is having no real value or significance. Psalms 101:3-4 states, “I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless (vile). I hate the work of those who fall away; it shall not cling to me. 4) A perverse heart shall be far from me; I will know nothing of evil.”

In the MKJV, it states, “I will set no wicked thing before my eyes. I have hated the work of those who turn aside; it shall not hold on to me. 4) A perverse heart will depart from me; I will not know the wicked.”

In the NAS, it states, “I will set no worthless thing before my eyes; I hate the work of those who fall away; It shall not fasten its grip on me. 4) A perverse heart shall depart from me; I will know no evil.”

Mark 12:30 states, “And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” If you love God this way, would you allow anything vile (evil; wicked; depraved; sinful; repulsive; disgusting) and perverse (not considered right or acceptable) to enter your mind? Do you love God to the point where you will know nothing of evil? Remember, evil is something morally wrong and wicked that causes pain or trouble. Evil is compared with death and good is compared with life in Deuteronomy 30:15, which states “See, I have set before you today life and good, death and evil.” This tells me, I can choose life and good and not death and evil. Romans 12:19b states “Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.” Psalm 34:14, also states, “Turn away from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.” 3John 1:11 states, “Beloved, do not imitate evil but imitate good. Whoever does good is from God; whoever does evil has not seen God.” So, it makes sense that those who do evil have not seen God because God is good and when we invite Him into our hearts, we will naturally want to be good. Would you agree?

After reading Deuteronomy 30:15, I realize I need to choose life by choosing good things that benefit me and bring glory to God. When you allow worthless, vile, and evil things into your mind, it will stain your conscience and cause death by separating you from God, who gives life. James 1:27b says to “keep oneself unstained from the world.” All forms of ungodly media entice believers to conform to the world’s standards of deception, revenge, sexual immorality, hate, etc. I challenge you to make a mental note of the worldly messages you receive from video games, advertisements, TV shows (especially soap-operas), movies, or the internet. Do the messages glorify God? Do the messages entice you to glorify yourself? Or do the messages glorify the world’s standards of ungodliness?

Think for a moment. If the people creating the entertainment have not submitted their minds to God to bring Him glory, then their foolish, evil thoughts are directing their actions and creativity. Worldly entertainment deceives you into thinking that foolishness and evil are acceptable when the goal is to enslave you in sinful thoughts and actions. Ask yourself, is what I’m taking into my mind drawing me closer to God or drawing me closer to vain worldly thinking and sin?

Are you an enemy of God in your thinking and actions?

Do you seek and love God or do you seek and love the things of the world?

Is your focus on living by faith and pleasing God or would you rather have the pleasures of the world?

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Can You Be Too Heavenly Minded?

 

What is Wrong with Fairness?

Let’s face it, everyone wants fairness. So what is fair? Fair is when you are free from bias. Bias is a feeling or opinion that is preconceived and may be unreasonable. The problem with fairness is what I think is fair may not be fair to you. Everyone perceives fairness according to their bias. A bias to abolish or defund the police is an example of an unreasonable opinion.  How is it fair for those who want protection from criminals; to live in peace and not in fear?  This is just one example.

Life is not fair.

When you were a child, how often did you say, “that is not fair,” and your parents said, “life is not fair”? What you think is fair may not be what someone else thinks is fair. Why is this? The reason; each of us has a bias and different expectations. I may expect my husband to dust the bedroom because it is fair that he helps out. He thinks it is not fair because he thinks it is my job. Does he have a bias that women do the housework? Why? Where do biases come from? The scenarios are endless. You can never get rid of biases. I had to go through bias training at work to help us be aware of our bias so we do not let bias control our decisions. Is this even possible?

How fairness issues affect your beliefs.

I have an unreasonable desire for fairness. For example, when I think I am doing more work than someone else, I become resentful because I believe the workload should be shared equally. The problem with this unhealthy belief or expectation is whose perception of equal is right? However, it is not unreasonable to expect other people to help out with the workload and to share the responsibility.

I am guilty of sin because I am to serve, not be served. Mark 10:45 states, “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” And Philippians 2:3-7, which states,

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant (important) than yourselves. 4) Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others. 5) Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.”

The sin of pride is the reason I don’t want to serve and consider other people’s interests because I believe my interests are more important. To overcome this wrong belief, I must first repent (crucify my pridefulness) by asking God to take the spirit of pride and the unrealistic expectation for fairness from my mind. I also, need to loose/put off the false beliefs that everything has to be fair, and my interests are more important. Next, I ask God to heal the painful memories of perceived unfair actions done against me and the offenses I harbored in my heart. Read my short book on how to heal painful memories: 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

Then, I ask God to forgive me for complaining and saying hurtful things. I apologized for my self-centered, critical attitude, and I forgave the other person for their unkind reactions. Forgiveness is a key step in healing our wounded spirit. Now, I must transform my wrong thinking with the truth of God’s Word and be thankful. Being thankful changes a resentful attitude to a winning attitude. Read my post called A POWERFUL MOOD CHANGER.

Exchange bias with truth and obey God’s instructions.

I transformed my unhealthy expectation for fairness with the truth that I am to be a servant as Jesus Christ was and consider the interests of others as more significant. Not that my interests are not significant, but I need to think less of myself and love others with agape love. Agape love is a self-sacrificial love that expects nothing in return and frees you from the bondage of fairness. Christ’s love for us is a sacrificial love. I bind/put on the truth that I will receive a reward from God for the good I do (see Galatians 6:9; Ephesians 6:8; Colossians 1:10; Titus 2:14; 3:8; Hebrews 13:16; and 1 Peter 3:16.) Read my last two posts on goodness: Part 1: How to Achieve Genuine Goodness? and Part 2: How to Overcome Evil with Good.

You cannot stop your bias thoughts by will power. But you can, by prayer, verbally take authority and loose/put off every deceptive or biased thought and replace them with truthful thoughts from God’s Word. Discipline your mind to think thoughts that are true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and worthy of praise (see Philippians 4:8). Memorizing Scripture is an effective way to put truth into your mind. Last, practice the truth by doing the instructions of God until they become part of your natural reaction that changes your bias for pleasing yourself to serving others with love. Galatians 5:13 states, “For you were called to freedom. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.”

Do you have a bent toward fairness?

Do you serve others and expect nothing in return?

How can you serve with agape love and put aside your own interests?

RELATED POSTS

Four Reasons for Authority in Prayer

Thoughts That Create Peace Within and Without

WHY SHOULD I FORGIVE

HOW PRIDE DESTROYS

Part 2: How to Overcome Evil with Good.

In my last post, we learned about what it means to be good.  In this post, you will learn how to overcome the evil that prevents you from being and doing good. So what is evil?  According to Webster, the term evil means bad; wicked; depraved (corrupt; perverted) and causing pain or trouble. Evil causes damage to every human being’s soul. People who are influenced by evil spirits are all around us, and they are bent on destruction, especially toward vulnerable children.  We can overcome the evil done to us with good. Romans 12:21 states, “Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good.”

Why are people evil?

What is the origin of evil?  To understand the origin, first know we coexist within an unseen spirit world, which comprises of Almighty God, ministering angels, the lying devil (ruler of demons), and destructive demons (evil spirits). God is the all-powerful, omnipotent, omniscient Spirit (see John 4:24 and 2 Cor. 3:17) who is good, loving, just, gracious, merciful, and the creator of all that we see. He called all that He created good (see Genesis 1; Nehemiah 9:6; and Isaiah 40:28).  Though we don’t see God because He is a spirit, the evidence of His existence is all around us in beauty and power.  To learn more read my post called, Four Realities of the Spirit World.

The devil tries to pervert all that God said is good. In John 10:10 Jesus states, “The thief [Satan] comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” Satan is the great enemy of man and goodness. He is called the deceiver (see Rev. 12:9-12), father of lies and a murderer (see John 8:44).  He is the destroyer called Abaddon in Hebrew and Apollyon in Greek, which translates as “destroyer or to destroy” (see Rev. 9:11). Webster dictionary says the devil is a slanderer; the chief evil spirit, a supernatural being subordinate to, and the foe of God and the tempter of man.

The Apostle Paul wrote to the Ephesian church in Ephesians 6:12 “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood [humans], but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” These evil forces want to harm us and draw us away from the truth of God’s Word.  They also want to destroy love because God is love. The spiritual forces of evil put wrong thoughts, doubts, and unhealthy beliefs into our minds (see Isaiah 55:6-7), which are lies about ourselves, others, and God.  These wrong thoughts cause us to act in evil ways.  And they tempt us to sin, which then separates us from God (see Isaiah 59:1-3).

So, what is sin? Sin is the breaking of a moral (right and pure) principles of the Bible, especially through a willful act of disobedience. For example, Deuteronomy 9:18, 1 Kings 16:19, and 1 Samuel 15:23 explain how sin is doing evil, and that evil is rebellion toward God.  Also, 2 Chronicles 12:14 states, “And he did evil, for he did not set his heart to seek the LORD.” Therefore, seeking the Lord God and being in right standing with Him through Jesus Christ is the only way to overcome evil, and the evil done to us. So, doing good is to obey the instructions of God (Deuteronomy 12:28) through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Painful memories of evil keep people from doing or being good?

  • Memories of shame for the wrong things done.
  • Memories of guilt for hurting others or doing wrong.
  • Memories of the unfair actions done against you that still make you feel angry.
  • Memories of people or yourself being self-centered keeps you focused on meeting your own needs instead of being helpful to others or sharing with those in need.

Painful memories keep you stuck in hurtful patterns of behavior. A man who went to jail for molesting his sons said he couldn’t help it because he was molested when he was a boy.  Unfortunately, the man claimed to be a Christian, but because of his painful memories, his heart was filled with the evil done against him. Jesus said to the religious people in Matthew 12:34-35, “You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. 35) The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil.”  Are your speech and actions hurtful or helpful? Are your thoughts focused on good things or things you do not like? If you are honest, your answer will reveal the condition of your heart.  To learn more about your thoughts visit, POSTS on Thoughts.

The book on my website helps you find your painful memories and unhealthy beliefs so you can be healed and love well. If you do not heal these painful memories, then they will control your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and behavior. Only God can heal our memories, but we have to humbly submit them to Him and allow Him to transform them. God will help you remove anger, shame, and guilt from your heart so the goodness of God can overcome the unseen evil of your heart.

How can we overcome evil and do good?

  1. Watch what you put in your mind. The mind determines what you think, perceive, feel, and believe, which then influences your decisions and behaviors. Evil fills our hearts when we take in evil actions from secular media (TV, movies, books, magazines, internet sites, etc.), that glorify evil such as harming people, causing trouble, death, and sexual immorality.  These evil images and words cause impure thoughts. that encourages evil actions.  So to overcome evil thoughts from secular media, ask God to remove them and then fill your mind with good thoughts of helping and serving others or improving the lives of those around you.
  2. Renew your mind. Renewing your mind is the process of putting off your old way of thinking that wants to please your selfish desires and putting on the new way of thinking that seeks to help and serve other people.  Romans 8:5-6 states, “For those who live according to the flesh (sin nature) set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. 6) For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.” To learn more about this process read, Forgiven and Saved? Now Renew Your Mind (Part One) and Three Steps to Renew Your Mind (Part Two)
  3. Daily yield your mind to God’s love and goodness so the devil will not tempt you to do evil. God’s will for you is merciful, good, and perfect. When we submit to God and obey Him, the devil will flee from us (see James 4:7-8). And, when we are submitted to God and draw near to Him, then we can do good, otherwise, the devil will have his way in our lives, and we will do evil. We will either do the good work God prepared for us or the evil work the devil wants us to do.  To learn how I submitted to God read: Why, What, and How to Submit to God and be FREE

Conclusion

Only God is good, and we can only be good by the power of the Holy Spirit, which I explain in my last post Part 1: How to Achieve Genuine Goodness?.  When God heals the painful memories of the evil done against you, He will fill your heart with love and goodness. Then you can do good works to help others with no alternative motive. Keep in mind that we coexist with evil spirits all around us, who also influences our minds to think evil thoughts through secular media.  What you submit your mind to is the path you will walk.

If you would like to know my story and how I overcame my wounds from evil done against me, read: WHAT IS INNER LIFE TRANSFORMATION? My Story

RELATED POSTS:

Freedom from Humiliation and Mental Strongholds of Shame and Sadness

Freedom from the Snares of Disrespect, Unworthiness, and Failure

Four Realities of the Spirit World

Hope for Lasting Peace, Love, and Victory

1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

 

 

Unanswered Prayer? Are You Presentable?

If you were to appear before a King or Ruler of a Nation and given the chance to ask him or her to do something, how would you dress and act? Take a moment and visualize it. Would you be humbled, cleaned up, neat, polite, be conscious of customs as not to offend, etc.? Now, how is that different than coming before the King of the Universe in prayer? Do you think you can go before Him in pride and with an unrepentant, filthy heart and demand Him to give you what you want?

To continue the simple illustration of electricity. Suppose prayer is the power cord, and faith is the action of plugging into the power source. In that case, hope is the expectation the power source will deliver results. If a lamp is plugged in but does not turn on, you need to look for the reason. Prayer connects you to God through the Holy Spirit that dwells in you when we believe in Jesus Christ and receives forgiveness for our sins. Unrepentant sin short-circuits the power of your prayers.

Reason Four: Unrepentant Sin short-circuits our prayers.

We cannot approach a Holy God in prayer if we are not presentable by having unrepentant sin in our lives. What is sin? Sin is disobedience to God’s instructions to love Him by keeping His commands and loving one another. Sin is knowing the right thing to do and not doing it (James 4:17). The following verses explain why unrepentant sin prevents your prayers from being answered.

Psalms 66:18 states, “If I regard wickedness (sin) in my heart, the Lord will not hear;”

Isaiah 59:1,2 states, “Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear.  2) But your iniquities (sin) have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden His face from you so that He will not hear.”

1Peter 3:12 also says, “For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

Psalms 34:14-18 explains, “Turn away from evil (to harm) and do good; seek peace and pursue it. 15) The eyes of the LORD are toward the righteous and his ears toward their cry. 16) The face of the LORD is against those who do evil, to cut off the memory of them from the earth. 17) When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. 18) The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

Unrepentant sin includes not forgiving those who sinned against you because God instructs us to forgive. Matthew 5:23, 24, states, “So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First, be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” If you struggle forgiving those who did evil against you, please read my post on why we should forgive.

Wayne Jackson writes in “6 Reasons Why Some Prayers Are Never Answered” on ChristianCourier.com. “If you know that someone has a legitimate grievance against you, how can you sincerely approach God in prayer? Uncorrected problems with brethren are extremely detrimental. Peter certainly stressed that discordant home relationships could hinder prayers (1 Pet. 3:7). Where domestic wrangling and bitterness prevail, prayer can never be effective.” What do you think? Would you agree?

Solve the problem of sin through repentance and the work of Christ on the cross.

1John 1:9 states, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Pastor Darryl Baker writes in “Abiding in the Word” blog, “Because of what Christ did in bearing our sin and the punishment of our sin, we no longer need to live fearful of approaching our heavenly Father. The sin that separated us is gone and we can now approach God with complete confidence. So as a believer we should daily draw near to Him and He will draw near to us. Don’t ever run from God, run to Him. If you have sinned repent, and run back to the Father for He awaits with arms open wide to help you get back on your feet again.” And he writes, “It is the devil who tries to keep us from approaching God by making us afraid to do so through wrong thoughts. Scripture teaches us to come boldly to the throne of grace, to find grace and help in our time of need. God is waiting to help us overcome whatever we may be dealing with in life, but we must draw near to Him to get that help. The door is open so don’t ever run from Him. He is your answer, He is your deliverer, He wants to help you; and most importantly He wants you to know Him.”  I agree, but we need to come before Him with a repentant and humble spirit.

Hebrews 4:14-16 states, “Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession.

15) For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. 

16) Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

James 4:6-8 says, “But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.‘ 7) Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8) Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.”

These verses are the theme verses for my county jail Bible study. I have the women memorize them. One inmate return because her roommate had alcohol in the apartment which meant she broke her probation. When she came to the Bible Study, she was excited to still be able to quote the verses above from memory. I encourage you to memorize Hebrews 4:14-16 and James 4:6-8.

Conclusion:

God is loving, merciful, gracious, and slow to anger. Psalm 103:8 states, “The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.” He is also Holy and Just; Isaiah 5:16 says, “But the LORD of hosts is exalted in justice, and the Holy God shows Himself holy in righteousness.” So, we need to approach Him with humility and with repentance if we want him to hear our petitions.

RELATED POSTS

HOW TO PRAY USING THE LORD’S PRAYER AS A MODEL

Reasons One and Two Why Prayer Is Not Answered

Unanswered Prayer—Reason Three

How to Recognize and Eliminate Emotional Cancer

All verses are from the English Standard Bible.  If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S., experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

Unanswered Prayer? Are You Connected?

Nothing is more discouraging to our faith than not getting what we pray or hope for. The first two reasons why God may not give what you ask for are: 1) God may not be your Father and 2) what you are asking for may not be good.  Read Reasons One and Two Why Prayer Is Not Answered.

Now, if you know for certain that God is your Father, and you believe what you are asking for is according to His will, then do you only pray when you are desperate or need something? God created us to be in relationships with others and especially with Himself. A healthy relationship requires spending time and talking with those we love. So, the third reason why you feel your prayers are hitting the ceiling is not being in the right relationship with God.

For example, if a lamp is not plugged into a power source, the lamp will not produce light. By faith, you expect the lamp to light when you plug it into an electric outlet, and as long as it stays plugged in, it will light. The power to the outlet comes from outside the building, just like our power source is from God. And as long as we remain connected to God, we will have power. Are you always plugged into God and the Bible?

John 15:7 states, “If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.”

  1. Are you abiding in God and are His words abiding in you?

Abide means to remain in something. We abide in God in the same way we rest in a place of shelter. When we abide in God, we trust He will protect us and provide for us. We remain in the shelter of God by faith through continual prayer with thanksgiving, praise, and pondering Scriptural truths.

Psalm 91:1 states, “He who dwells in the shelter (secret place) of the Most High will abide (rest) in the shadow of the Almighty.” Read my post called Psalm 91:1–How to Dwell in Heaven Now to learn more about how to abide in heaven with God.

When we pray with thanksgiving, praising God, and ponder Scripture, then our spirit draws near to Him, and He promises to draw near to us (see James 4:8). Do you only pray to Him and read your Bible in church on Sunday morning and maybe Wednesday night service?  Do you say a nightly prayer after spending the day worrying or doing and thinking about worldly things?  If your answer is yes, then you are not abiding in God.

Do you abide in God’s Word by reading it every day and memorizing it? If not, resolve to begin today.  The mornings are the best time to read the Bible so you can meditate on what you read throughout the day.  Writing out a key verse and reviewing it throughout the day will help you stay connected to God. 2 John 1:9 states, “Everyone who goes on ahead and does not abide in the teaching of Christ does not have God (in their hearts). Whoever abides in the teaching has both the Father and the Son.”

How do I know if I am abiding in God?

1John 3:18-24 explains how you know if you are staying connected to God.

18) Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.

19) By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him;

20) for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything.

21) Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God;

22) and whatever we ask we receive from him because we keep his commandments and do what pleases him.

23) And this is his commandment, that we believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us.

24) Whoever keeps his commandments abides in God, and God in him. And by this, we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit whom he has given us.

Do you love your brothers and sisters in Christ?  Do you want to know if you have resentment towards anyone, then read How to Recognize and Eliminate Emotional Cancer.

If you have a hard time loving people, then read Love From a Pure Heart to become free to love others well.  1Corinthians 13:13 states, “So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” 1John 3:17 explains, “But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees a brother (Christian brother or sister) in need, yet closes his heart against them, how does God’s love abide in him?”

Conclusion

Prayer is our connection to the living, almighty God, and is the channel through which we receive power, wisdom, direction, and healing. Prayer is not only asking for things. You must remain in connection with God through continual prayer with thanksgiving by faith, reading His Word, and loving your brothers and sisters in Christ. If your heart does not condemn you, then you have the confidence to be connected to God. Ephesians 3:11and 12 states, “This was according to the eternal purpose that he has realized in Christ Jesus our Lord, in whom we have boldness and access with confidence through our faith in him.”

RELATED POSTS:

How We Know God Will Never Forsake Us?

HOW TO PRAY USING THE LORD’S PRAYER AS A MODEL

If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

How to Recognize and Eliminate Emotional Cancer

Emotional cancer stays hidden deep in your heart even when you think you are okay. It is infectious and spreads into other areas of your life, and it destroys your peace, joy, and righteousness (spiritual right thinking). God gave me this revelation last week when it was triggered by an email. It was hidden, and I didn’t realize I had it until it was triggered.

How did I discover I had emotional cancer?

Last week I received a layoff notice. I accept that I am getting laid off because of the hardship placed on the University from the COVID-19 pandemic, and I have a peace that God will provide for my needs and lead me to another job. In my last post, I describe how I was processing this difficult news and how I felt betrayed by the Department Head because she told us that all our jobs are secure and that everyone matters to her. So when I received an email from her, wanting to know when she could chat (her words), I became anxious, and for a lack of a better word, I felt this unsettling “grrrrr” inside my soul. I felt like the cat on my home page. Do you know that feeling?

I had forgiven her and put off my negative beliefs and turned it over to God, and I was doing good. So I thought. So, I read two of my blogs called “Being Thankful During Hard Times” and “Caution—How to Get Out of The Pit,” and they both helped me change my wrong thinking and refocus again on God’s promises. I didn’t know why I felt offended when I saw her email until I read a blog post about grief where the writer wrote about the need to tell your story and not to allow your grief to turn into resentment. As soon as I read the word “resentment,” I realized why I was still upset, it was resentment for being, well, betrayed.

What is resentment and how do we develop this emotional cancer?

The dictionary defines resentment as a feeling of indignation and showing displeasure toward a person, from a sense of being injured or offended by some act, remark, insult, etc. I felt injured by my Department Head and became offended. A person who has resentment will show anger and ill will for any real or perceived wrong or injury, which they believe is unfair. Resentments build up and grow in your heart throughout your life. These painful memories cause negative thinking and false beliefs, which continue to feed our resentment. When this emotional cancer is not exposed and healed, it leads to bitterness and hate. Job 7:11 states, “Therefore I will not restrain my mouth; I will speak in the anguish of my spirit; I will complain in the bitterness of my soul.” A bitter person only focuses on their pain and it prevents them from maturing. Have you noticed that the older a person gets, the more bitter they become? When my mother got dementia and could not remember her painful memories, she became a very pleasant, peaceful person for the first time in her life. Read, “Hope for Lasting Peace, Love, and Victory” to learn more.

How to know you have resentment.

Read the following questions. If you answer yes to any one of them, you have hidden resentment.

  • Do you complain about someone or something?
  • Do you dread being around a certain person?
  • When you hear a person’s name do you feel irritated with that person?
  • Do you feel something is unfair or someone was unfair to you?
  • Do you become depressed and pouty, or angry and unkind when you are disappointed?
  • Do you feel jealous or envious of someone because of that person’s rivalry, success, or advantages?
  • Do you feel hurt by something someone did or said?
  • Do you recognize you do not have peace, joy, and right thinking?

Why is feeling offended a sign you have the emotional cancer of resentment?

Most people do not realize they have offenses in their hearts. So be mindful of how you answer the questions in the previous section. When you experience emotional pain and displeasure from an unkind act, unfairness, mistreatment, disrespect, betrayal, unacceptance, and being ignored it creates a painful memory and an offense in your heart. Disappointment also creates a painful memory and causes us to be offended because we are not getting what we want and we feel it is unfair. Once you are offended, the seed of resentment is planted. We will always have disappointment, so resolving to maintain a forgiving and thankful attitude will prevent us from becoming offended and resentful. This is why it is essential to discipline your mind to stay on heavenly promises. Read how to develop heavenly thinking in the posts called Can You Be Too Heavenly Minded? and How to experience a heavenly life on earth.

Recall your last argument or the last time you were frustrated or disappointed. Using the definition of an offense, can you identify what you or the other person was offended about? Once you discover the cause of the offense, then you can work to solve it and heal the emotional cancer of resentment. My book called “Hope for Complete Healing” on my website identifies many causes for offense and the solution. I encourage you to read it so you can love well and have peace, joy, and right thinking. Also, read, “#1 Destroyer of All Relationships and the Solution” for a better understanding of how destructive being offended is.

How do I eliminate resentment?

I recommend the following actions. First, capture the offending thoughts by acknowledging they exist. The evidence is not feeling peace, joy, and thinking the right thoughts. Second, once you acknowledge you are offended, then ask God to show you why you are offended. Third, forgive the person or persons involved. You may have to accept the situation you are disappointed by and trust God’s promises. Fourth, ask God to remove the wrong thinking and false beliefs about the situation and then to take out the seed of resentment sown in your heart. You don’t know you have resentment until it sprouts and takes root in your heart. So as soon as you realize you are offended by a perceived unfairness that causes disappointment, then immediately ask God to remove the seed of resentment before it causes problems.  If resentment is left go, it will become bitterness and hate, at which point, the emotional cancer is at stage 4. Hebrews12:15 tells us to “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.” Please read the Five Steps to Heal Your Heart and Purify Your Soul for the prayer model, you can pray to eliminate offenses and resentments.

Conclusion:

You now know that emotional cancer is resentment and how it develops in your heart. I ask some questions to help you uncover the hidden resentments you may have. The key indicator you have this cancer is feeling offended. Eliminating emotional cancer is not easy but is necessary so it does not spread and affect your decisions and relationships. There is hope for healing resentment in your life, but you first need to ask God to expose it for Him to heal it. Jeremiah 17:9-10 says, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? 10) I the LORD search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.”

RELATED POSTS

Love from a Pure Heart

WHY HEAL YOUR HEART AND PURIFY YOUR SOUL?

The Link Between Disappointment, Resentment, and Self-control

Why Should I Forgive?

All verses are from the English Standard Bible. If you find my posts and website helpful, please share this link with your friends and family; hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected. Please do not reproduce any part of the posts or my book without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom and this website.

If you find this website helpful, you will benefit from the latest book. You can order Breaking Mental Strongholds on Amazon.

Also, check out my book called Fighting Unseen Battles on Amazon. I would love to hear what you think. To learn more about my book, read: How to Fight Unseen Battles.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Life-changing Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. I will also send you the Lord’s Prayer Model to pray effectively. Please leave your name, so I know you are a real person making the request.