Relationship – Page 3 – Hope for Complete Healing

How Patience is a Sign of Maturity

Did you pray for patience, then went through difficulties? Or, do frustrating things happen all the time, but now you realize you need more patience? So, why is patience so hard and why do difficulties increase patience? You can determine your level of patience by making a note of how you react to other drivers on the road. I was over-reactive and impatient with everyone, including myself. And driving was very stressful for me. This post explains why you can’t be patient, why you should be patient, and how you can be patient.

I learned that mature people are patient because they are not self-centered. They know that getting upset when something doesn’t go as planned does not change anything, except create stress. And mature people understand life is not fair so they accept it and choose to live in peace.

When we can’t be patient.

You can’t be patient when you believe something is unfair, especially when suffering an unjust wrong. Can you remember a time when you protested that something was unfair? When you felt this, you developed an offense to the unfair treatment or event. It could be a discipline you felt was unfair, the death of someone close to you, not getting what you asked for, etc. That offense created a painful memory you may have forgotten about. The painful memory still exists and has created unhealthy beliefs that cause you to over-react or become frustrated and irritated when an event happens that triggers unhealthy beliefs. To heal those painful memories, read my short book on my website: 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories
You can’t be patient when you are not at peace with yourself or others because you are offended. Read: Hope for Lasting Peace, Love, and Victory
You can’t be patient if you are self-centered? Pride thwarts patience because pride wants to be in control of what happens. Prideful people do not think they have to wait, be inconvenienced, or endure hardships. Read my posts on pride to learn more: The Core Negative Heart Issue and HOW PRIDE DESTROYS

Why be Patient?

Be patient to reduce stress in your life and stress in those around you. Have you been around an impatient person? Did you feel stress? For example, waiting in a long line or waiting in a traffic jam can test your patience. If you get upset and frustrated, will that help the line move faster? No, it only increases your blood pressure and the blood pressure of those waiting in the same line. Stress causes health problems in you and the surrounding people.
Be patient and hopeful and do not worry because you know God will act on your behalf and do miracles. When you get impatient because something is not happening fast enough, you become anxious, which causes physiological stress that then affects your health.
Be patient and eliminate strife. When you are not patient, you will say and do unkind things. Read: Relationship and World Changing Kindness
Be patient because love is patient (see 1Corinthians 13:4). When you are patient with other people, it shows you love them. God tells us to love others as Jesus loves them and as we would want them to love us. Ephesians 4:2 states, “with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,” Notice, being patient means we bear with others. When you bear with others, you are self-controlled when subjected to annoyance or provocation, which requires humility and gentleness. Read my posts on self-control to learn more: Self-control and Maturity and How to be Self-controlled in What We Say
Patience is the fruit of the Spirit. Therefore, patience is a sign of a mature Christian who yields to the work of the Holy Spirit through the trials and hardships of life. Thankfulness is evidence of patience. Read: Being Thankful During Hardships
Be patient because Jesus is patient. 1Timothy 1:16 states, “But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life.” So, we too are called to be patient (see Romans 12:12; 1Theselonians 5:14; James 5:7; and James 5:8 states, “You also, be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand.”

How to be Patient.

Webster defines being patient as the bearing (enduring) of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, or irritation. Are you patient according to this definition? If not, go through the Patience Issues Worksheet and the chapter called “Finding Painful Memories” to heal the painful memories and unhealthy beliefs, so you can be mature and patient.
Acknowledge you are prideful and ask God to take it from you and then give you His humility and gentleness towards other people’s issues. Work through MEEKNESS, HUMILITY, AND GENTLENESS Issues
Do you have a hard time waiting? Hope helps you wait with patience. Romans 8:25 states, “But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.” Romans 12:12 states, “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulations, and be constant in prayer.” Doing this will help you wait with patience.
Ask God to show you the painful memories of offenses of when people were not patient with you or you were not patient. Then go through the healing described in “5 Steps to Heal the Soul.” Painful memories and unhealthy beliefs prevent the fruit of patience from manifesting in your life. As I have healed the painful memories of unfair treatments and disappointments, I have been much more patient and calmer than ever before. Since my painful memories were healed, I have stopped over-reacting and being controlled by my emotions.
Put on patience and love. Colossians 3:12&13 states, “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” Slowly, read this verse again. You are chosen. You are holy. You are beloved. Another sign of patience is forgiving someone when you feel offended. If this is hard for you to do read: WHY SHOULD I FORGIVE
You develop patience by going through hardships, to become strong and complete. James 1:3-5 states, “for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness (patience, endurance). 4) And let steadfastness (patience) have its full effect (perfect work), that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”

Conclusion

You don’t want to pray for patience, but developing patience is necessary to be mature and complete. To become patient, you practice being patient during difficult and trying circumstances. Just like you have to practice an instrument or a sport to be good at it. Practicing is hard work and often not pleasant.

You also need to put off pride and painful memories so the fruit of the spirit of patience can grow in your life. Just like getting the rocks and weeds out of your garden allows your flowers and vegetables to grow. Last, you are to be patient because Jesus is patient with you. Having peace, being forgiving, and being kind is the evidence of being patient.

I would love to hear your thoughts, so please leave a comment.

RELATED POSTS:

7 Ways to Suffer Well: (Part 1)

Example of Suffering Well and God’s Response: Part 2 of Suffering Well

Patience — Freedom from Strongholds of Injustice and Unfairness

If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the link to my post and website with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

If you find this website helpful, you will benefit from the latest book. You can order Breaking Mental Strongholds on Amazon.

Also, check out my book called Fighting Unseen Battles on Amazon. I would love to hear what you think. To learn more about my book, read: How to Fight Unseen Battles.

Pt. 3: Seven Markers of a Trustworthy Person

What makes a person trustworthy? Why do you need to be trustworthy? The Bible says a trustworthy person will be successful and find favor with God and others in their life. Is this something you would like? Do you want to have the favor of God, your boss, or others in authority? Proverbs 3:3&4 states, “Let not steadfast love (mercy, KJV; kindness; NAS) and faithfulness (truth) forsake you; bind (tie) them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart. 4) So, you will find favor and good success (understanding, KJV; good reputation/name; NIV) in the sight of God and man.”

For instance, if you were merciful and faithful to protect the confidence and reputation of those around you, then you won’t gossip or share secrets. Proverbs 11:13 states, “Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy (faithful, KJV) in spirit keeps a thing covered.” Do you see how gossiping or slandering not only hurts the person involved but also makes you look bad and ruins your reputation? When you talk bad about another person or lie, the one listening is wondering if you also talk bad about them, so they will not trust you. Also, consider Proverbs 14:22, which states, “Do not those who think (plot, devise) evil go astray? But mercy (kindness, love) and truth shall be to those who think of (devise, plot) good.” (MKJV).

Do you know people who have gone astray because they thought evil thoughts to harm others or themselves? Notice, how you think determines if you do evil or good. If you think truthful and good thoughts, you feel good. If you feel good, then you believe good things. If you believe you are to be faithful and trustworthy, then you will act according to those good beliefs. The same progression applies to evil thoughts, which lead you astray. On the other hand, good thoughts lead to love and truth. I have written many posts on the power of thoughts; I encourage you to read them here.

The end of Proverbs 3:3b says to “bind (tie) them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart.” If you put something around your neck, you won’t forget it, and if you write something down and memorize it, you will live by it. The thoughts and beliefs in your mind and heart dictate how you speak and act.

In Pt. 1: Forsaken? Betrayed? How to trust again, I covered how to heal broken trust and offenses from when you felt betrayed and forsaken by someone. In Pt. 2: Why You Can and Cannot Trust God, I explain how you can trust God and why you don’t trust Him. This post exposes areas where someone may not be trustworthy and how to be free from the guilt of not being faithful.

A person who is trustworthy shows the love and faithfulness of God to others. To be faithful is to be reliable, trusted, or believed. Rather than being worked up over other people’s failures, I want to look at how I have failed because I can only change myself. Can others say you can be trusted and do they have confidence you are telling the truth and are dependable? Rate yourself, how you think other people would rate you: 1-10 (1 being the lowest score).

____ Honest: you do not lie (white lies or exaggeration), cheat, or steal.

____ Dependable: you keep your word and people can rely on you.

____ Faithful: people can trust and depend on you.

____ Loyal: you are faithful to a person, church, government, work, cause, duty, etc.

____ Reliable: people can depend on you to keep your word because you have integrity.

____ Fidelity: you are faithful and devoted to your obligations or vows and you are loyal.

____ Submissive: you are able to yield to the actions, control, and power of those in authority.

If you scored 1-7 in one or more areas in the list above. Do the following for each area you scored low in to transform your life in that area.

Ask God to show you the earliest memory of when you failed in that area.
Ask the Holy Spirit to remove the negative stress-energy from that memory and forgive yourself or someone else.
Pray to loose the power of the memory so it does not control your feelings and actions.
Loose all the unhealthy beliefs created by the painful memory (ies) being healed.
Bind in the truth of God’s Word, and the positive actions that you are honest, loyal, reliable, faithful, dependable, and submissive.
If you feel guilt, ask God to remove the guilt related to the time you have lied or were unfaithful.
Do this for all memories associated with the area you scored low in.
Also, ask God to show you the painful memories where others have not been faithful or trustworthy to you. See Pt. 1: Forsaken? Betrayed? How to trust again to heal those memories.

Guilt keeps you in bondage to your failures and sins. God showed me how guilt from my sins, kept me from loving myself, which caused me to not love others. I write about how to be free from guilt in the following posts:

Freedom from Humiliation and Mental Strongholds of Shame and Sadness.

WHY HEAL YOUR HEART AND PURIFY YOUR SOUL?

To find favor with God and those you associate with, be kind, merciful, faithful, and truthful. To be successful and understanding, seek God to heal the painful memories that control your ability to be faithful and truthful. Think good and truthful things to be faithful and trustworthy.

P.S.: Experiencing lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

Pt. 2: Why You Can and Cannot Trust God?

Have you ever felt forsaken by God? Jesus has, I have. So, why does the Bible say, “He will never leave you or forsake you?” We feel forsaken when our expectations are not met. This is true with our human relationships as well. The next time you feel forsaken, asked yourself what expectations were not met. Were they realistic expectations? Remember, God is the only one who can be faithful and loyal to you. My last blog post explains how to recover from broken trust, and I encourage you to read that if you haven’t: Pt. 1: Forsaken? Betrayed? How to trust again.

Maybe you feel God has abandoned you when He did not answer a prayer. Unanswered prayer is an unmet expectation that causes an offense to form in your heart. God did not answer my prayer to heal my abusive first marriage and keep my family together. I felt forsaken and despaired as I faced divorce. I felt abandoned by God. I poured my heart out to Him and told Him I was going to walk away from my faith. And God answered, “What is the alternative?” I thought about it and knew that Satan would love to destroy me and my children. So, I stayed tight with God by submitting my many troubles to Him while going through the divorce. I do not encourage divorce but sometimes we don’t have a choice. I experienced many miracles because God was faithful to me, which I share in the post, Trust God to Keep His Promises.

The Bible says, He will never leave you nor forsake you when you seek Him (read Deuteronomy 31:6&8 and Hebrews 13:5). This promise is for those who are followers of Jesus Christ who believe and confess Him as their Lord and Savior. When you believe, you are promised forgiveness of your sins and are promised eternal life (see John 3:16). Read my post on the 15 Promises We Can Trust God to Keep

―Are you afraid?

What are you afraid of? Deuteronomy 31:6,8 says you must “Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you.” Again, in verse 8 God says, “Do not fear or be dismayed.” These two verses are part of Moses’s last message to the Israelites before they enter the Promised Land (Israel). When I think about being courageous, I think of David and Goliath. David knew he could take Goliath because he compared the size of Goliath to the size of God. By faith, David conquered his foe with God’s help. Hebrews 11:6 says, “And without faith, it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.” Also, read James 4:8.

Are you afraid you don’t have enough money? Hebrews 13:5 says to, “Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’” You can trust God to provide for you, so you don’t need to be anxious about how much money you have or don’t have. Philippians 4:19 explains, “And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” When I was a single mother with two toddlers and no job. I began a sewing business and God provided for my every need when I trusted Him. I was never in need of anything. Because there was a 90% chance I would marry another abusive husband, I did not date. After a time of healing, God provided an awesome husband, who is totally submitted to Him and compatible with me. God is truly good.

My favorite promise is in Isaiah 41:10, which says, “fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Really think about this promise and claim it when you are facing a tough situation. Fear and worry are indicators you are not trusting God. You will have peace when you keep your mind on the Lord God through prayer, praise, and pondering scripture. Isaiah 26:3 says, “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you because he trusts in you.” I wrote in a previous post, how you know you are trusting God when you attain righteousness, peace, and joy.

―How do you make God your refuge in times of trouble?

Psalm 9:9-10 states, “The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know Your name trust in You, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek You.”

What do the following phrases mean?

“The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed”? Refuge means a place of shelter and protection from danger. The word oppressed means to feel burdened or heavy by troubles in your body, spirit, and mind. We make the LORD (God) our refuge through prayer by giving Him all the things that burden our hearts and are heavy on our minds.
“A stronghold in times of trouble.” A stronghold is a strong fortress that we can run into and be safe. Psalm 37:39, also states, “The salvation of the righteous is from the LORD; he is their stronghold in the time of trouble.”
Those who know Your name trust in You for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek You. Are you seeking God? Jeremiah 29:13 tells us, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Also, read Matthew 7:7-11.

God can be trusted, though He may not answer all your prayers the way you want Him too. His knowledge and ways are greater than ours, and He has a good purpose and plan for you (Jeremiah 29:11-13 and Isaiah 55:9). You will never know His good purpose for your life until you have submitted to Him. Submitting to God means accepting His sovereign plan for you and give Him the authority to take over. I wrote a post on how to submit to God. When I finally submitted, I became free from an anxiety disorder. Read: Why, What, and How to Submit to God and be FREE

Pray the following truth statements if you find it hard to trust God. Found in TRUST AND FAITHFULNESS Issues.

It is safe to trust God and do what is good, and He will direct me. Ps. 37:3-5.

I can trust God’s faithfulness to be a shield around me as I put my trust in Him, and I will not be afraid. Ps. 91:4; 56:4,11.

Trust believes the good thing God is doing, and my heart need not be troubled, for He is my salvation. John 14:1, Isa. 25:9.

I can be trusted, and I am faithful with what God has given me. Lk. 16:10.

I can trust and believe my life has a purpose, and God has a plan for my life, which gives me hope… Jer. 29:11-14.

As I trust in God, He is my refuge, and His unfailing love and favor surround me. Ps. 32:10; 7:1; 5:12.

When I trust and believe in Jesus, I will not be disappointed. Rom. 9:33; I Peter 2:6b.

I will not put my hope in the uncertainty of riches but in God who richly supplies me with all things to enjoy. I Tim. 6:17; Phil 4:19.

I am blessed when I trust and hope in the Lord, and I make him my confidence. Jer. 17:7.

There is hope for complete healing when you seek God with all your heart and trust Him. The short book on my website is the result of God healing my heart when I trusted him to show me my wounds and sin so I could repent and be healed. 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

I am praying for you. If you have a prayer request, I would love to pray with you, send me an email, or if you comment with a request, I will not publish your request, unless you give me permission.

RELATED POSTS

Read my posts on Psalm 91 found in Psalm 91 Posts

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

Pt. 1: Forsaken? Betrayed? How to Trust Again.

Have you been betrayed by someone you thought you could trust? Have you experienced being forsaken by someone you love? I have. God is the only one who will always be faithful and loyal to you, then your dog and maybe UPS delivery would be next.

I am offended by those who disregarded me, so how can I trust again? You are disregarded when you are ignored, neglected, and not treated with respect. I will share later how to take those thoughts captive, so you are no longer controlled by the offenses. Each offense is like a brick in a wall. You build the wall with one offense after another to protect your heart from being hurt and disappointed again. The wall also keeps you from experiencing the benefits of trusting and loving other people. When you don’t trust you will live in fear that something bad will happen to you. Fear erodes your relationships. So, in this post, I will explain how to tear down your wall, one offense at a time so you can live in freedom and have peace and joy. See my last post for an explanation of how to have peace and joy all the time in your life. How to experience a heavenly life on earth.

For example, I trusted my father to love and cherish me, but he abused me then forsook me at 15 when he left and never contacted me again. I trusted my mother to nurture and affirm me, but she was angry and dismissive. I trusted my sisters to have my back and support me, but they were angry, violent, and self-centered. I trusted my friends at school to be loyal and encouraging, but they humiliated me. I trusted teachers and church leaders to protect me, but they looked the other way. I trusted my first husband to love and protect me, but he abused me instead. Everyone has a story of betrayal and why they can’t trust. Maybe a spouse had an affair. A co-worker lied and gossiped about you. A boss or supervisor harassed you and did not like you. The painful memories of being forsaken control how you respond to those around you today. Because of the antitrust wall around my heart, I could not give warmth and love to my family and friends.

Every human will fail you at one point or another because we all are sinners who fall short. You will fail someone who trusted you. Maybe you can’t be trusted because of the things you have done to hurt those around you. You may not have been faithful to protect the ones you were supposed to love. God wants to make you whole and trustworthy again. I will explain how to have hope for the restoration of your relationships. But first, you must STOP discounting yourself by reducing your value and thinking you don’t deserve better. You are valuable to God, and He wants to restore you and prosper you (Jeremiah 29:11, Psalm 139:17-18).

Do you have unrealistic expectations of the people in your life? Maybe you have unstated expectations, and you think they should know, so you wonder why they let you down. You may have specified your expectations, but the other person has not agreed to do what you expect. Unmet expectations lead to frustration, anger, and feeling disregarded, which then create painful memories. You then believe the person cannot be trusted, so you close your heart to them and everyone else. Is this something you can relate to? Read my short book to learn how to heal these painful memories: 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

Trust issues affect every living soul, and the painful memories need to be healed for the fruit of trust and faithfulness to grow in your life through the Holy Spirit. Only God can heal your heart and memories, so first, ask God to remove your pride and any deceptive spirits from you. I ask God to remove my pride because it always justifies why I shouldn’t trust and why I should be offended. Then, I ask God to remove deceptive spirits because they will convince you that you don’t have a problem and it is no big deal. Next, ask God to show you if you have the following unhealthy beliefs or something similar:

I cannot trust; no one can be trusted
I am awful; I have done awful things and thought awful thoughts. I can’t trust in anything except the coming punishment that I deserve.
I don’t know what it means to feel trust and probably never will.
I can’t trust anyone after what I have experienced, after what I have done, and after what I have seen.
If I trust that things will work out and get better, then the coming pain is just that much more upsetting.
I trust what I have in my own hands, in my bank account, what I own, and what I control.
It is better to realize that everyone is out for himself, including me.
I am trustworthy. The only time I do bad things is when it’s justified.

Write down the unhealthy beliefs you have relating to your trust issues. They may be some of the ones above or they may be different. Next, ask God to show you the painful memory or memories that created the unhealthy belief. Identify the vows you have made. For example, I vowed to never trust a man because they are self-centered. But, guess what, I was self-centered too. Go through the following prayer model to remove the offenses and the related unhealthy beliefs/vows.

Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal the contributors for each issue (problem, concern) such as the painful memory or memories of painful experiences or sin.

- Painful experiences could be from a trauma, a word curse, unmet expectations, betrayal, poor choices, or rejection.
- You may get an answer right away or you may have to wait a few days.
- Be conscious of the quiet voice of the Holy Spirit speaking within your soul.
- All painful memories have a negative stress-energy that needs to be removed from your mind and cells of your body.
- Sin has negative spirit attachments that need to be removed by putting them off in Jesus’ name (see John 14:13 and 16:24).
- Sin is anything you do that is not loving and valuing others or loving God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength.

Forgive those who sinned against you including yourself if necessary (see Matthew 6:14:15, Colossians 3:13, and Ephesians 4:32). WHY SHOULD I FORGIVE

- The first step in trusting others is forgiving those who broke your trust because we are all sinners in need of a savior and forgiveness.
- When you forgive, it breaks the power the offense has on your mind.
- Do not dwell on the painful memories but be quick to forgive, though you may need to grieve a loss, which is healing.
- Forgiveness releases you from the emotional control of the painful memories contributing to the issue needing healing.
- If you have a hard time forgiving, ask God to give you His grace to forgive others for their sins against you as He has forgiven your sins (see Matthew 6:12-15).

PRAY: “Dear Lord, I forgive (name of the person or persons) for causing the pain of __________.”

Replace unhealthy beliefs with truth.

- Write down the lies or unhealthy beliefs the Holy Spirit reveals that are associated with the heart issue needing transforming by the truth.
- Next, write the truths to replace the unhealthy beliefs.
- For example, you may believe, “I don’t know what it means to feel trust and probably never will.” Replace this lie with this truth, “I can trust those who are trustworthy but understand they could let me down. I know I can trust God and He will help me to forgive and be patient with those who let me down including myself.”
- To understand how to use your authority in prayer read; Four Reasons for Authority in Prayer

PRAY: “Dear Lord, I loose the unhealthy belief of __________, and bind in the truth that ________, in Jesus’ name.”

Repent of sins.

- List the sins you committed because of your wrong thinking and unhealthy beliefs and decisions related to the issue needing healing.
- Confess them to God and ask His forgiveness and to take all your guilt and resentment away (see 1 John 1:9) in Jesus’ name.

Last, write out a thank you to God for something He did to protect, provide for, or comfort you. For painful memories to heal, they need to be replaced by a positive memory.

There is hope for complete healing of trust as you tear down the wall around your heart by taking each brick of offense out of the wall. Choose to love others well knowing they are hurting people with walls and may choose to reject you. Jesus was rejected and still is.

Healthy Boundaries for Toxic Emotions and People

Being Thankful During Hardships

Relationship and World Changing Kindness

The Core Negative Heart Issue

WHY HEAL YOUR HEART AND PURIFY YOUR SOUL?

ALL THOUGHTS ARE WITHIN OUR CONTROL

HOW MEMORIES INFLUENCE OUR THINKING, EMOTIONS, AND BEHAVIOR

Hope for Lasting Peace, Love, and Victory

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).