Freedom from Humiliation and Mental Strongholds of Shame and Sadness

Have you been humiliated? Do you feel shame for the things that were done to you or that you have done? Do you feel sad, especially when you are alone with your self? I think we all can answer yes to one or more of those questions. Here is my story. After I wrote in my journal about my birth and my mother’s mental state at the time (learned from letters I had found) I had a dream that night that was very perplexing. The dream was words being spoken to me that said, “shame and humiliation in a box” over and over again until I woke up. I began to pray and ask God what the meaning was. I did not receive an answer until that evening when God showed me that the shame and humiliation my mother was feeling and experiencing, translated into me and my sister while we were being formed in her womb (the box). So I looked up the words shame and humiliation in the dictionary, which gave me greater insight.

** Shame is a painful feeling of guilt, incompetence, indecency, or blameworthiness. It is a feeling of dishonor and disgrace, which may have come from the things you have done for which you need to forgive yourself for. Shame could also be put on you by other people’s unloving actions for which you need to forgive them. God showed me that shame was the inner stronghold that protected the humiliation seat, which held all the bad memories of humiliation and the wrong beliefs that I am a melancholy, depressed person and I am unable to feel joy or happiness.  God showed me that I also had a tremendous amount of guilt from the destructive things I did, which I share on my website if you are interested in knowing how I freed myself.

** Humiliation happens when our dignity is lowered and we are caused to feel foolish or contemptible (to be scorned and made to feel worthless.) We feel humiliation when we are degraded and our honor is taken away from us. We feel humiliation when we are shown disdain, or being despised and looked down on, or disgraced; that is, a loss of favor and respect. This then opens us up to be prideful, which covers up our feelings of humiliation so in turn we humiliate others.

This is how my life began, and as I continued to journal my life I could see these two issues throughout my whole life. We all want to be valued and accepted so I realized that this was one of the reasons I was so angry and destructive, which brought more shame and humiliation into my life.  God showed me that shame was the inner stronghold that protected my painful memories of humiliation.  In order to understand mental strongholds, see my blog on strongholds or my website.  I knew strongholds came in pairs to make sure the unhealthy beliefs and negative emotions remained to keep us in bondage, so I asked the Spirit of truth to show me what the second stronghold was. The next day I had a heavy sense of sadness, and I could see the sadness in the things that I wrote in my journal. The outer sadness stronghold had been keeping me from feeling true happiness and joy in life, in my relationships, and with God.

** Sadness is sorrow about the loss of love, honor, respect, innocence, and not being accepted. It is a feeling of dejection, which is a low spirit of depression and discouragement. Depression is brooding on one’s problems. Also, sadness is despondency, which is the loss of courage, confidence, and hope. A year later, God revealed that I was addicted to the feeling of sadness. I found this out because my mind would compulsively conjure up vain imaginations of things that would make me sad, like death or a loss of some kind. You can see how a lot of wrong and unhealthy beliefs can be developed from the memories of sadness that would also fortify the mental stronghold of sadness.

When I prayed through the specific stronghold deliverance prayer that I describe on my website, I felt greater confidence and joy, and I no longer had this cloud of sadness swirling in my mind because of the memories of humiliation.  I also broke my addiction to the feeling of sadness through specific prayer. If you can identify with what I have written about and would like to be free from this mental stronghold combination then please visit my website to learn how.

The above statements are passages from my book called “Unseen Battles for Your Mind,” which is in the editing stage, and therefore, is not to be recopied without my permission.

Anger Issues Protected by Pride and Judgmental Strongholds

The pride and judgmental strongholds in my life protected many issues of anger generated from the humiliation, shame, injustices, betrayals, disappointments, and rejections throughout my life.  If you are unfamiliar with what mental strongholds are and my castle illustration, please read the following post first; STRONGHOLDS PART I—What are they and how do they affect us?

The reason why we need to deal with this stronghold combination is to love as God loves. To love well, we need to eliminate the sins of anger, bitterness, resentment, hatred, judging, and pride.  These sins prevent God’s love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness (humility), faithfulness (trust), and self-control from flowing out of us to others.

People with this stronghold combination typically were either bullied or come from dysfunctional or abusive families/marriages.  I experienced all the above.  I found that broken trust is the main force that generates pride and being judgmental.  Broken trust comes from betrayal by those who you expected would love and protect you.  My pride issues were created by damaged self-worth and low self-esteem and are often revealed by over-sensitivity and over-reaction.   You can learn how to heal betrayal issues and repair your damaged self-worth by reading my short book on my website.

For example, I was hurt and offended when my younger sister demeaned me and put me down continually as we were growing up. I stored that hurt and offense in my heart, and every time I was demeaned or felt demeaned as an adult, I would become angry. When I asked God to show me why I was getting so angry, He showed me how my younger sister had offended me. I then forgave my sister, because I know she demeaned me because she was hurting too. I then confessed any sin on my part to God, which is very important for overcoming anger issues.  Our sin needs forgiving because it has negative, oppressive, stress energy and will re-establish the offenses.  For instance, I confessed and asked for forgiveness of the sin of wanting to harm my sister and for demeaning and disgracing her in return.

The pride stronghold wall protects unhealthy beliefs such as—I am better than you. Don’t tell me I am wrong. Don’t tell me what to do but do what I want.  The pride wall protects the inner judgmental wall that protects unhealthy beliefs of—I have the right to determine if you are right, wrong, or insincere. I have the right to be angry, bitter, resentful, and hateful. I don’t trust you or value you. The judgmental stronghold wall then protects the anger seat of authority, which holds all our memories of hurts, disappointments, unmet needs and desires, offenses, soul wounds, bitterness, resentments, and hatred.  These memories produce unhealthy beliefs, which control our thoughts, and our thoughts dictate what we say and do.

Another reason why we need to deal with this stronghold is because God hates pride (Prov. 8:13; James 4:6), and anger does not achieve the righteousness of God, only peace and humility does (James 1:20; 3:18), which is why I wanted to be free.  We are also instructed to not be judgmental (Matthew 7:1).  I hope and pray that if you have this same issue that you too will find freedom, so you can love from a pure heart.  To learn how to be free from anger and this stronghold combination, please visit my website, you will be glad you did.  https://hopeforcompletehealing.com/

Anger issues are also entwined in the Impatience stronghold combination;  read the following post: Freedom from Impatience and Strongholds of Injustice and Unfairness

To begin reading my book, start here: 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

Related Posts:

Why, What, and How to Submit to God

Free from Anger–County Jail Testimony and Teaching

The Core Negative Heart Issue

WHY HEAL YOUR HEART AND PURIFY YOUR SOUL?

Five Steps to Heal Your Heart and Purify Your Soul

Bondage to Unseen Controls

HOW PRIDE DESTROYS

Escapism; protected by Strongholds of Loneliness and Discontentment

When we don’t feel loved, we feel lonely.  Every living person has felt lonely at one time in their lives. Some of us feel lonely all the time. It is my experience and observation that loneliness comes from a love deficit, both in receiving love and giving love, but more than that, it is a lack of felt love.  The loss of felt love often happens when there is a death or divorce.  It also happens when a person is in or from a dysfunctional or abusive home that lacked felt love.  Moreover, we were created by God to be loved and to love, and when love is missing, we feel empty and alone, like an empty building, and we want to escape.

Loneliness is often accompanied by depression, which is a feeling of sadness and dejection.  Many married couples feel lonely because they do not know how to love well.  More often than not, one or both partners have not experienced a healthy love, which carries over into their marriage, and is passed down to their children. We marry looking to feel loved but when one or both have no love to give, therein lies the beginning of a dysfunctional relationship and a dysfunctional family.  The unmet desire to be unconditionally loved makes us want to isolate ourselves and to suppress our desire. We often isolate ourselves by escaping into drugs, alcohol, work, shopping, entertainment, sports, etc.

If you have not experienced healthy love, you may have a stronghold of loneliness that keeps you in bondage to unhappiness and depression. The stronghold of loneliness also protects the stronghold of discontentment.   If you are unfamiliar with double strongholds, please read the following post first: STRONGHOLDS PART I—What are they and how do they affect us?

Discontentment, according to Webster, is to lack contentment; to be dissatisfied; to have a restless desire for something more or different. To be content is to be satisfied with what one has and is not disturbed by a desire for something more or different.  Discontentment also happens when we have unrealistic expectations. The stronghold of discontentment protects the authority seat of escapism; that is, the desire to escape from our loneliness and discontentment through many different means. Some of the means of escape are: drinking alcohol, using drugs, watching TV, spending hours on social media, working long hours, playing video games, uncontrollable daydreaming, buying things, etc.

The following are the unhealthy beliefs this stronghold combination protects. The loneliness stronghold protects the following unhealthy beliefs: First, “I am alone because I am unlovable.” Second, “I need to isolate myself because I don’t trust that I won’t get hurt or I will be let down.” Third, “I am alone because I am different and unaccepted.” Some of the unhealthy beliefs, protected by the discontentment stronghold are: First, “ I need more because what I have is not enough.” Second, “I need to have something different (i.e., life, car, house, furniture, spouse, job, etc., [different for each of us]).” Discontentment has many facets, but the remedy is thankfulness and trusting God to provide the things we need (and sometimes want).

Next, evaluate what is on the escapism seat of authority (the throne) that controls your choices. I found that I needed to be busy all the time to not feel my loneliness or discontentment. I also found that I would daydream to escape the discontentment and boredom of life. Most times my thoughts were unproductive, futile, unprofitable, and empty musing. The escape mechanisms you choose may be different than mine.  Also, our escape mechanism often becomes an addiction that controls our thoughts. Please visit my website to learn how I overcame this stronghold combination and addictions with the help of God, and how you can as well. https://hopeforcompletehealing.com/

STRONGHOLDS PART I—What are they and how do they affect us?

I knew I had a stronghold issue by the negative behavior patterns that would control my reactions to situations.  Mental strongholds are unknown to our conscious mind until we seek God to reveal them.  In addition, mental strongholds often come in pairs to ensure we remain in bondage to our unhealthy beliefs and wrong thinking.  Also, I learned that mental strongholds protect seats of authority, much like castle walls protect a ruler’s throne.  The authority seat holds beliefs that rule our lives by controlling what we think, and thoughts dictate what we say, and do.  Now imagine having many double-walled castles in your heart, and each one protects a seat of authority that rules your thoughts.   Go to my website to learn more about each of the following stronghold combinations and how to destroy them.

–Authority seat of anxiety is protected by the strongholds of worry and fear.
–Authority seat of insecurity is protected by the strongholds of control and betrayal.
–Authority seat of disappointment is protected by the strongholds of apathy and rejection.
–Authority seat of insignificance is protected by the strongholds of rejection and misplaced approval.
–Authority seat of humiliation is protected by the strongholds of shame and sadness.
–Authority seat of impatience is protected by the strongholds of injustice and unfairness.
–Authority seat of anger is protected by the strongholds of pride and judgment.
–Authority seat of doubt is protected by the strongholds of rebellion and independence.
–Authority seat of deception (lying) is protected by the strongholds of protection and manipulation.
–Authority seat of oppression is protected by the strongholds of irresponsibility and infirmity.
–Authority seat of escapism is protected by the strongholds of loneliness and discontentment.
–Authority seat of desire is protected by the strongholds of pleasure and addictions.

Tearing down strongholds, especially addiction strongholds, requires that we can hear from God.  To hear from God, we need to be in a right relationship with God. Please visit my website to learn more about how you can be right with God and to be free from the bondage of the above stronghold combinations.

UNHEALTHY BELIEFS: What are they and where do they come from?

 A false or unhealthy belief is a lie about the true nature of reality about ourselves, life, and God. For example, if you believe you are not worthy of love, you believe a lie. These lies come from words spoken over us and from memories of offenses done against us. For example, I grew up in a very dysfunctional angry “Christian” home, and I developed a lot of unhealthy beliefs about myself, other people, life, and God. I share my story in more detail in the following post: My Story.

The following nine categories of unhealthy, destructive beliefs distort the way we view everything in life.

1. I am unlovable. I am insignificant. I am flawed.

2. I am hopeless. I am worthless. Life is hopeless.

3. Something bad will happen. The future will be like the past. I’m not OK.

4. Something must change right now for me to be OK.

5. People will take advantage of me. People are too sensitive.

6. I am bad. I am not good enough. I am unforgivable.

7. People are out to get me. I must be in control. It’s not fair.

8. People must think well of me for me to be OK.

9. I can’t do it. I am not capable. Others should do it for me. It’s not fair.

The Healing Codes Manual by Loyd and Johnson, p. 55

We internalize these unhealthy, false beliefs at a subconscious level.  And, they cause us to live in self-destructive ways. There are many self-destructive behaviors, such as, cutting, alcohol and drug abuse, uncontrollable anger, self-debasing comments, anxiety, etc.  The above mentioned beliefs may result in addictions to cover over the painful feelings.  Learn more about addiction, read my post called Addiction Strongholds. Unhealthy beliefs also create stress in our bodies that lead to illness and disease.

Do the following to uncover your unhealthy beliefs.  First, pay attention to your thoughts and reactions and write down strong emotional reactions. Second, ask God to show you the unhealthy belief(s) that is generating your wrong thinking.  Third, trace backward from negative fruit in your life, and prayerfully ask God to show you the answer to the following question, “what is the root of this fruit?”

Wrong thinking creates negative feelings, which directs unloving, destructive behavior so ask God to show you the link.  Also, look for a link to a trauma memory, offense, and word curses because they also create unhealthy belief(s).  Some examples of word curses are: “I will probably fail. I will most likely end up in divorce. Nobody likes me. All politicians are evil. A godly person can’t succeed in business.” Have you thought these?  He will show you so you can then remove it through prayer and repentance, which I explain how on my website, 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

Reading self-help books will also reveal unhealthy beliefs and wrong thinking.  I especially like the book called “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey.  I encourage you to read my adapted summary of the right beliefs and thoughts we should have according to Mr. Covey.  Healthy Thinking and Behaving from Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

Read each of the Issues Worksheets to learn about other subconscious unhealthy beliefs we can have and the truth to replace these unhealthy beliefs.  LOVE Issues, JOY Issues, PEACE Issues, PATIENCE Issues, KINDNESS Issues, GOODNESS Issues, TRUST AND FAITHFULNESS Issues, MEEKNESS, HUMILITY, AND GENTLENESS Issues, and SELF-CONTROL Issues.

Read, who God is and what you can be thankful for to replace the lies you believe about God and yourself.

Addiction Strongholds

Do you know that everyone has an addiction?  Do you know what your addiction is?    We may not be aware of our addiction, but we all have them.  I found that I was addicted to the adrenaline of anger and the depresant of sadness.  I explain this in greater detail on my website:  www.hopeforcompletehealing.com. Addiction is a self-protective mechanism that inhibits painful feelings and memories.  My book on my website explains how we can become free from our addictions and the key to breaking those strongholds.  This post is not an exhaustive examination of what addictions are but an inquiry into what addictions we may have and not even realize it.

Most people think an addiction has to do with smoking, drugs, or alcohol and it does.  Webster’s dictionary says that an addiction is a habit or practice, especially a bad habit.  For example, are you in the habit of watching hours of TV every night, playing video games for hours, eating ice cream before going to bed, spending hours on social media, etc. These things are not necessarily bad habits in and of themselves.  But they are bad in the sense that they rob the person of the freedom to not do it.  Try to fast a day or even a week, something you are in the habit of doing.  I feel compelled to watch the news every day, all day if I could.  If I miss a day, I become distracted about what I may be missing?  Do you feel the same or have a similar habit you are compelled to do?

The bad habit or practice may rob the person of quality family time, being productive, good health, strong relationships, etc. For some of us, like myself, I craved approval and if I did not get it I became depressed and angry. Some of us are addicted to worry, in which we can’t help ourselves, we just can’t stop worrying. How about shopping, eating too much, sweets, anger, pornography, sex, tobacco use, etc.? Do you see where you may have an addiction? Is there something you can’t possibly give up or you cannot stop doing? Often a person has more than one addiction.

For example, I had a serious addiction to anger. I could not control it; it controlled me, and I was very embarrased by it. I was angry about everything, and it was destroying my family.  I had to find a way to break my anger addiction.  Christian people would say that anger and rage are a sin and to repent, and I would agree.   But when an issue controls your behavior then you have a mental stronghold.  To learn more about strongholds read:  STRONGHOLDS PART I—What are they and how do they affect us?

I do want to note that I began my research with my own experience and how I recovered from many negative heart issues that controlled my behavior.   I was healed of many trauma memories from abuse that lead to various addictions. I have shared my experience of freedom with many women that come to my county jail Bible study, and I have seen incredible transformations in their lives.  One of the women had an addiction to lying, which caused her to extort money from people, which then landed her in the state pen. I watched her work through her issues that influenced her addiction to lying.  These women have the hope of being free from their addictions and living a healthy life for the sake of their children and grandchildren.

Furthermore, all addictions have a compulsion element, a pleasure element, and a regret element.  Regret is the element that indicates a person has a destructive addiction. You might say, “I wish I would not do that.” Or, “I want to stop but I can’t help myself.” What are your regretful comments? There is hope.

Begin today to read my short book about how I found freedom from many negative heart issues that lead to my addictions: 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories