Tag: Insecurity

HOW PRIDE DESTROYS

So why is pride a destructive force? Pride is more than feeling good when we accomplish something great.  Arrogant or conceited pride keeps us from loving others well.  Second, pride prevents us from seeing the sin of thinking more highly of ourselves than we ought.  Last, pride justifies self-centered behavior that erodes relationships.  Not only is pride destructive, but God hates pride and will oppose anyone who is prideful, which is explained at the end of this post.  So, if we don’t want God opposing us, then we need to seriously seek to get rid of pride.

A humble person exhibits acts of selflessness, kindness, patience, and gentleness.  They are not self-asserting or boastful but are more concerned about others.  Humble people are meek and not inclined to anger or resentment from insults and offenses.  Meekness shows incredible strength.  Humble people are merciful, polite, and respectful.  People like being around those who are humble because they feel loved and safe, and never judged.

Every person has pride problems because the sinful human nature is self-centered, wanting only to please itself.  Also, a self-centered person does not desire to seek God or to do His will.  On the other hand, Christianity is about being Christ-like and other-centered.  Pride is often revealed by what we say about other people and situations, especially when we compare ourselves favorably. For example, I demeaned my husband by saying I was a harder worker than him. Because of my pride, I thought I could do things better than other people, and they should recognize that. So, if you sincerely want to know your pride issues, you can ask one of your loved ones, but humbly be prepared to accept what they have to say. Being easily offended shows pridefulness.

How to free from the sin of pride.

When you ask God to show you your sin, wait quietly for the Holy Spirit flow by keeping your mind tuned to flowing pictures/visions and emotions. I learned this from Mark Virkler in his CD called “Seven Prayers that Heal the Heart.” Dr. Virkler said if you neglect this, your prayers will come from your head, and will not heal your heart. Ask the Holy Spirit to open your eyes to see your pride issues as you read the following questions.

  • Do I have a high or undue opinion of my own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority and expect other people to cater to my every wish and want?
  • Do I have an exaggerated self-esteem with a higher opinion of myself than is held by others? If someone does not have the same opinion of my worth, do I become offended?
  • Am I conceited because of my achievements and look down on others?
  • Am I haughty and judgemental by showing disdain, contempt, or scorn for others who are not like me?
  • Do I want to control what people do and think and get angry if I can’t?

Prayerfully ask God to expose your wrong thinking, unhealthy beliefs, offenses, and resentments. As the Holy Spirit shows them to you, write them down, then pray the following prayer model. When I prayed this prayer to get rid of my pride, it became hard for me to breath because the spirit of pride did not want to give up control of my heart and mind.

Lord, I confess I have sinful pride in my heart. I can see where pride hurts my relationships and _(list other things the Holy Spirit showed you)_, and I ask You to forgive and cleanse me of the sin of pride.

I loose/put off my prideful attitude and the spirit of pride from my heart. I loose/put off wrong thinking and unhealthy belief(s) of _(list wrong thinking and unhealthy beliefs)_ in Jesus’ name. Next, I loose and destroy all oppressive spirit attachments and generational sins and markers from my DNA related to pride in Jesus’ name. And, I loose _(offense/resentment)_ I have harbored in my heart and the oppressive spirit attachments.

I bind in the truths that humility is realizing everything I have, including my abilities, is a gift from God (see Deuteronomy. 8:17-18). And I don’t think of myself more highly than others, but in humility, I will regard others as more important than myself (see Romans 12:3 and Philippians 2:3). Amen.

After learning these truths, I now take my angry, impatient, and controlling thoughts captive and walk them back by consciously stopping the reactive thought then thinking a truthful thought.  I can live in peace with everyone as far as it depends on me.  In the New International Version, Hebrews 12:14 states, “Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy, without holiness no one will see the Lord.”

I also put into my mind and heart the truths that humility is realizing that everything I have, including my abilities, is a gift from God (Deut. 8:17-18).  And I don’t think of myself more highly than others, but in humility, I will regard others as more important than myself (see Romans 12:3; Philippians 2:3).

The more we transform our thinking with the truth found in the Bible (see Romans 12:2) and are renewed by the Holy Spirit, the more like God we will be (see Ephesians 4:23), which is loving, patient, kind, peaceful, faithful, humble, full of joy, and self-controlled.  To learn how I became free to live a transformed and renewed life and how you can be free to live a new reality, visit my website: https://hopeforcompletehealing.com/.

Ponder the following Scriptures to learn how pride will destroy you.

2 Chronicles 26:16 states, “But when he was strong, he grew proud, to his destruction. For he was unfaithful to the LORD his God ….”

     ??  Why are we unfaithful to God when we become strong?

     ??  How do you think pride destroys us when we become strong?

     ??  Think about a time when pride brought destruction in your life or someone else’s life.

2 Chronicles 32:25 states, “… for his heart was proud. Therefore wrath came upon him ….”

     ??  Why does a proud heart deserve the wrath of God? (see Romans 2:5-8; 5:9; 13:5; Ephesians 5:6; and Colossians 3:6)

Psalms 10:4 states, “In the pride of his face the wicked does not seek Him; all his thoughts are, ‘There is no God.’”

     ??  Why doesn’t a proud person seek God? 

Psalms 31:23 states, “Love the LORD, all you his saints! The LORD preserves the faithful but abundantly repays the one who acts in pride.”

     ??  What is the difference between the faithful and the proud person?

Psalms 59:12 states, “For the sin of their mouths, the words of their lips, let them be trapped in their pride.  For the cursing and lies that they utter,”

     ??  How do the words of the proud trap them?

     ??  How is lying a sign of pride?

Proverbs 11:2 states, “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom.”

     ??  Why would the humble be wise, and the proud be disgraced?

Proverbs 16:18 states, “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.”

      ??  What causes a haughty person to fall?

Proverbs 21:24 states, “‘Scoffer’ is the name of the arrogant, haughty man who acts with arrogant pride.”

     ??  Why do the arrogant scoff (an expression of mocking contempt, scorn; jeer)?

Proverbs 29:23 states, “One’s pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor.”

     ??  How does pride bring a person low and how do the lowly obtain honor?

Ecclesiastes 7:8 states, “Better is the end of a thing than its beginning, and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit.”

        ??  Why is a proud person not patient?

Obadiah 1:3a states, “The pride (arrogance) of your heart has deceived you, …”

     ??  How does pride deceive us?

Romans 11:20, 23 states, “That is true. They were broken off because of their unbelief, but you stand fast through faith. So do not become proud (conceited), but fear. 23) And even they, if they do not continue in their unbelief, will be grafted in, for God has the power to graft them in again.”

     ??  How does standing fast in your faith and fearing God keep you from becoming prideful?

James 4:6 states, “But he gives more grace. Therefore, it says, ‘God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.’” (Also see 1 Peter 5:5.)

     ??  Why does God oppose the proud?

Understand, God hates pride.  Proverbs 8:13 states, “The fear of the LORD is hatred of evil.  Pride and arrogance and the way of evil (sinful behavior) and perverted speech I [God] hate.”  Also, look-up the seven things God hates in Proverbs 6:16-19.   Not only does God hate pride and arrogance, but He also hates evil behavior, which is morally bad and depraved.  He also hates perverted speech, which is speech that deviates from what is good or true (i.e. lying).  To be sure, a proud heart will not humbly submit to God or others and do what is right (see Romans 8:7).

Read my other posts about Pride:

How I became free from pride:  The Core Negative Heart Issue

Anger Issues Protected by Pride and Judgmental Strongholds

Freedom from Impatience and Strongholds of Injustice and Unfairness

All Scripture is from the English Standard Version. If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

If you find this website helpful, you will benefit from the latest book. You can order Breaking Mental Strongholds on Amazon.

Also, check out my book called Fighting Unseen Battles on Amazon. I would love to hear what you think. To learn more about my book, read: How to Fight Unseen Battles.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. I will also send you the Lord’s Prayer Model to pray effectively. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

Love From a Pure Heart

How do you want to be loved?  What keeps you from loving others as you want to be loved?

We should first look at the gold standard for how we should love other people, according to the Bible.  1 Corinthians 13 (ESV) is the love chapter: “4) Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. 5) It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6) it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.”  Wouldn’t it be great if everyone in the world loved like this?  How about if our family members love us like this?  What prevents us from loving like this?

When we don’t love as described above, it creates hurt and offenses in our heart and wounds in our soul.  An offense is an act of creating resentment, hurt feelings, displeasure, etc.  The painful memories we store come from offenses of not being loved, valued, and accepted.  Children are most vulnerable to the influence of love or the lack-there-of and are easily hurt when these three desires are unmet.  When felt love is with-held, we develop insecurities and control issues.  Insecurity creates unhealthy beliefs, which are lies about life, ourselves, others, and God, that are carried into adulthood.  Because of these painful memories from childhood, we are tempted to get involved in relationships that would continue the pain of not getting these same needs met.  I was one of those people, and my first marriage ended in divorce.

When people’s hearts are empty of love, they try to get their need for love, value, and acceptance through other insecure people with empty hearts.  Unfortunately, many people have hurts and offenses in their hearts so they cannot give the love, value, and acceptance we want and they also want.  This leaves each person feeling rejected, resentful, angry, sad, depressed, hurt, frustrated, betrayed, disconnected, etc., which block our ability to love from a pure heart.  The fact is, only God can perfectly meet our need for love, value, and acceptance.

Since the Bible is the authority on what love is, it is also the authority on God’s love: 1 John 4:8 & 16a says that God is love; and we are made in His image and likeness (see Gen. 1:26); therefore, we are created to love and be loved but because of evil and sin in the world, we become void of genuine love and the ability to love from a pure heart.  In fact, the bible says that God abounds in steadfast love and faithfulness—Psalms 86:15 says, “But You, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious (compassionate), slow to anger and abounding in steadfast (unfailing, abundant) love and faithfulness (truth).”  God also said this same thing about himself in Ex. 34:6.  The words “steadfast love” is recorded 398 times in the English Standard Version of the Bible, which is closely translated from the original texts.  Additionally, God loves us sacrificially (see 1 John 4:10, 16-21; Rom. 5:8; John 15:13; 1 John 3:16-18; John 3:16).  In return, we are to love God with all our hearts, minds, and souls (see Deut. 6:5; 10:12; 11:13; 13:3; 30:6; Joshua 22:5; Matt. 22.37; Mark 12:30), which we cannot do when our hearts are full of offenses and hate.  Not only are we to love God, but we are to love others (see 1 John 4:7-11,12; Lev. 19:18; Matt. 22:39; Mark 12:32; John 13:34; Rom. 13:9).  In fact, loving others is the fulfillment of the law (see James 2:8; Rom. 13:8,10; Gal. 5:14).

How can we love from a pure heart: 1 Peter 1:22 & 23 says, “Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth (found in the Bible) for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart, 23) since you have been born again (1 Pet. 1:3), not of perishable seed but of imperishable, through the living and abiding Word of God.”  (also see Heb. 4:12, which says, “the Word of God is living and active…“)  1Timothy 1:5 says, “The aim of our charge (goal of our instruction; NAS) is love that comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere (genuine) faith.”  2 Timothy 2:22 also says, “So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.”  To learn how to love from a pure heart, please visit my website, hopeforcompletehealing.com where you will find research and examples of how to purify your heart and mind from the many offenses you have stored up over your lifetime.  These methods have been tried and are incredibly successful.

If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

Freedom from Insecurity, which is Protected by Betrayal and Control Strongholds

We all have some measure of insecurity, whether we realize it or not, because we live with and work with sinful, hurting people who hurt others, and we are not exempt. Insecurities are revealed by the negative reactions when they are triggered by what someone says, does, or does not do. For example, if someone found fault with me or with what I did, I would have an anxiety attack, and feel they didn’t like me, and that I will never be good enough. If someone did not give me the praise for doing something, then I would feel rejected and unappreciated, etc. Another example is when I would suggest doing something or going somewhere, and I would be ignored or discounted, then I would get angry and feel sorry for myself because I didn’t feel valued so I withdrew or acted out of anger to get control. Insecurities are also revealed by the negative tapes that are automatically played out when we feel out of control or discounted. The negative tapes could be, “I’ll never be accepted because I am different,” “I’ll never be able to accomplish anything because people don’t support me,” “What is wrong with me?” etc. Have you ever heard yourself say, “I can’t do this because…,” “This is too hard,” I’m not good enough,” “People can’t be trusted,” “I need to do this myself,” etc.

The strongholds of injustice and unfairness contribute to issues of betrayal and wanting to be in control. This is not uncommon with people who have been abused or grew up in dysfunctional families. I struggled with the control stronghold for several years, even though I would continually loose and put it off. I wanted to control what people did and what they thought of me, as well as control circumstances in order to prevent being hurt, disappointed, or even annoyed. I asked God why I kept dealing with this control issue, and He showed me that there was an outer mental stronghold of betrayal that protected my need to be controlling. The betrayal stronghold was built and kept in place by negative memories of betrayal by those who should have protected and loved me. These painful memories of betrayal developed insecurities, which are basically unhealthy beliefs and lies that perpetuates anxiety about what others do, not do, or think and say. For instance, I trusted that my parents, my spouse, and friends would love me and not hurt me, or lie to me, but they did. As a result, I disassociated and disconnected because I felt that I was not able to trust them. Note, some people should not be trusted and that is okay. Dictionary.com defines betray as 2) to be unfaithful in guarding, maintaining, or fulfilling; be disloyal to.

I believe there is no greater injustice than the betrayal of one’s sexuality because it wounds the soul the deepest. I also believe that the betrayal of sexuality causes the most damage to our self-esteem and self-worth because God created sexuality to be a beautiful act of vulnerability between two married people who love each other. And because our sexuality is an intimate part of us, any childhood sexual interference such as pornography, exposure to sexual acts (even in a movie), fondling, uncomfortable affection, making a child take on the role of a spouse, adult humor, and so on,  damages the very core of a child or teen’s being. This causes a person to feel confusion, shame, and humiliation, which then causes sexual violation secrets to be carefully guarded and deeply buried in the soul. These buried secrets continue to have a profound effect on how a person see’s themselves and others. I have known people who had great difficulty having a healthy marriage because of these secrets. A lot of books have been written about this topic and are a good resource if you have these buried secrets. Talking with a counselor is also very helpful but I want to caution you to be careful what counselor you choose to share your sexual violation secrets with. Not every counselor or pastor understands the damage of sexual betrayal and they may cause more confusion and betrayal.

Total healing and transformation happen only when we come to Jesus with our damaged sexuality and allow Him to restore our purity and respect. This is a supernatural act of healing that is received by faith. In fact, all painful memories of betrayal of all kinds can be healed, which in turn, heal insecurities and the need to be controlling.  This can be done by going through the prayer format to destroy strongholds found on my website: hopeforcompletehealing.com

The above statements are passages from my book called “Unseen Battles for Your Mind,” which is in the editing stage, and therefore, is not to be recopied without my permission.

If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).