HOW PRIDE DESTROYS

So why is pride a destructive force? Pride is more than feeling good when we accomplish something great.  Arrogant or conceited pride keeps us from loving others well.  Second, pride prevents us from seeing the sin of thinking more highly of ourselves than we ought.  Last, pride justifies self-centered behavior that erodes relationships.  Not only is pride destructive, but God hates pride and will oppose anyone who is prideful, which is explained at the end of this post.  So, if we don’t want God opposing us, then we need to seriously seek to get rid of pride.

You see, pride caused Lucifer, the most beautiful angel, to be thrown out of heaven and to the earth with a 1/3 of the angels who were also prideful.  Lucifer is renamed Satan or the devil, which means destroyer (see Isaiah 14:12-14; Revelations 9:11; and John 10:10a) and the fallen angels are now called demons.  So, pride is the one unseen battle for our minds that satan will tempt us with again and again because he knows pride is destructive.

Every person has pride problems because the sinful human nature is self-centered, wanting only to please itself.  Also, a self-centered person does not desire to seek God or to do His will.  On the other hand, Christianity is about being Christ-like and other-centered.

Read over the following definition of pride and humility and sincerely ask God to show you what your pride issues are. Be sensitive to the voice of the Holy Spirit.  When you discover your pride issue, ask God for forgiveness and to take the specific pride issue from you, and then to give you His humility and love for others.  When I asked God to take the spirit of pride out of my heart and mind, I felt a huge difference when it left.  Keep in mind, pride will always creep back in, so be watchful.

Pride is a high or inordinate opinion of one’s own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, also known as exaggerated self-esteem or arrogance.  Prideful people think they are better than other people and will display contempt toward those who don’t value them or their abilities.  Prideful people will show disdain, contempt, or scorn for others who they think is beneath them or who disagrees with them.  They are judgemental and condemning of others and do not show mercy.

Pridefulness is exposed by what we say, especially when we speak more favorably of ourselves. For example, I would demean my husband by saying I was a harder worker than him; this is pride.  And, I pridefully believed I did things better, and others should recognize it and praise me.   Pride is evident when we try to control everything because we think we can do things better.  Also, getting angry when something does not go your way shows an impatient spirit, controlled by pride. Prideful people are also insecure and judgmental.  We display our pride in different ways, and it does not matter what form it takes, it still is a destructive sin.

A humble person exhibits acts of selflessness, kindness, patience, and gentleness.  They are not self-asserting or boastful but are more concerned about others.  Humble people are meek and not inclined to anger or resentment from insults and offenses.  Meekness shows incredible strength.  Humble people are merciful, polite, and respectful.  People like being around those who are humble because they feel loved and safe, and never judged.

After learning these truths, I now take my angry, impatient, and controlling thoughts captive and walk them back by consciously stopping the reactive thought and thinking a truthful thought.   The truth is that I can live in peace with everyone as far as it depends on me.  In the New International Version, Hebrews 12:14 states, “Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy, without holiness no one will see the Lord.”    I also put into my mind and heart the truths that humility is realizing that everything I have, including my abilities, is a gift from God (Deut. 8:17-18).  And I don’t think of myself more highly than others, but in humility, I will regard others as more important than myself (see Romans 12:3; Philippians 2:3).  The more we transform our thinking with truth found in the Word of God (see Romans 12:2) and are renewed by the Holy Spirit, the more like God we will be (see Ephesians 4:23), which is loving, patient, kind, peaceful, faithful, humble, full of joy, and self-controlled.  To learn how I became free to live a transformed and renewed life and how you can be free to live a new reality, visit my website: https://hopeforcompletehealing.com/.

To get a better understanding of what God thinks of pride, read the following Scriptures and write out your reflections to help you internalize these truths.


2 Chronicles 26:16 states, “But when he was strong, he grew proud, to his destruction. For he was unfaithful to the LORD his God ….”

     ??  Why would we be unfaithful to God when be become strong?

     ??  How do you think pride destroys us?

     ??  Think about a time when pride brought destruction in your life or someone else’s life.


2 Chronicles 32:25 states, “… for his heart was proud. Therefore wrath came upon him ….”

     ??  Why would a proud heart deserve the wrath of God?


Psalms 10:4 states, “In the pride of his face the wicked does not seek Him; all his thoughts are, ‘There is no God.’”

     ??  Why doesn’t a  proud person seek God? 

     ??  And why would a proud man say, “There is no God.?”


Psalms 31:23 states, “Love the LORD, all you his saints! The LORD preserves the faithful but abundantly repays the one who acts in pride.

     ??  What is the difference between the faithful and the proud person?

     ??  How do you think God preserves faithful people, and repays prideful people?


Psalms 59:12 states, “For the sin of their mouths, the words of their lips, let them be trapped in their pride.  For the cursing and lies that they utter,

     ??  How do the words of the proud trap them?

     ??  How is lying a sign of pride?


Proverbs 11:2 states, “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom.”

     ??  Why would the humble be wise, and the proud be disgraced?


Proverbs 16:18 states, “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.”

     ??  Why would pride bring destruction?  Give an example.

     ??  What would cause a haughty person to fall?


Proverbs 21:24 states, “’Scoffer’ is the name of the arrogant, haughty man who acts with arrogant pride.”

     ??  Why do the arrogant scoff (an expression of mocking contempt, scorn; jeer)?


Proverbs 29:23 states, “One’s pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor.”

     ??  How does pride bring a person low and how do the lowly obtain honor?


Ecclesiastes 7:8 states, “Better is the end of a thing than its beginning, and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit.

     ??  Why is a patient spirit better than a proud spirit?

     ??  Why is a proud person not patient?


Obadiah 1:3a states, “The pride (arrogance) of your heart has deceived you, …”

     ??  Why does pride deceive us?


Romans 11:20, 23 states, “That is true. They were broken off because of their unbelief, but you stand fast through faith. So do not become proud (conceited), but fear. 23) And even they, if they do not continue in their unbelief, will be grafted in, for God has the power to graft them in again.

     ??  How does standing fast in our faith and fearing God keep us from becoming prideful?


James 4:6 states, “But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, ‘God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.’” (Also see 1 Peter 5:5.)

     ??  Why does God oppose the proud?


Understand, God hates pride.  Proverbs 8:13 states, “The fear of the LORD is hatred of evil.  Pride and arrogance and the way of evil (evil behavior) and perverted speech I hate.”  Also, look-up the seven things God hates; Proverbs 6:16-19.   Not only does God hate pride and arrogance, but He also hates evil behavior, which is morally bad and depraved.  He also hates perverted speech, which is speech that deviates from what is good or true,  i.e., lying.  To be sure, a proud heart will not humbly submit to God or others and do what is right.

??  Would it be better to remain prideful or to humble ourselves and submit to God.  Why?

Read my other posts about Pride: Anger Issues Protected by Pride and Judgmental Strongholds and Freedom from Impatience and Strongholds of Injustice and Unfairness

Love From a Pure Heart

How do you want to be loved?  What keeps you from loving others as you want to be loved?

We should first look at the gold standard for how we should love other people, which is according to the Bible.  1 Corinthians 13 is the love chapter and it says in the following verses: “4) Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. 5) It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6) it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.” (English Standard Version)  Wouldn’t it be great if all the people of the world would love like this?  How about if our family members would love us like this?  Can we each love like this?

People certainly do not love as described above, which creates hurt and offenses in our hearts and wounds in our souls.  An offense is an act of creating resentment, hurt feelings, displeasure, etc.  The most painful memories we store as offenses are memories of not being loved, valued, and accepted.  Children are very vulnerable and are easily hurt when these three desires are unmet.  As a result children develop insecurities, which are lies about life and themselves, that are carried into adulthood.  Because of these painful memories from childhood, we are tempted to get involved in relationships that would continue the pain of not getting these same needs met.  I was one of those people, and my marriage ended in divorce.

People with empty love buckets try to get their need for love, value, and acceptance through other insecure people who are equally trying to get these same unmet childhood needs to be met.  Unfortunately, these people have so much hurt and offense in their hearts that they cannot give the love, value, and acceptance they also desperately want.  This leaves each person feeling rejected, resentful, angry, sad, depressed, hurt, frustrated, betrayed, disconnected, etc., which block our ability to love from a pure heart.  The fact is, only God can meet our need for love, value, and acceptance perfectly.

Since the Bible is the authority on what love is, it is also the authority on God’s love: 1 John 4:8 & 16a says that God is love; and we are made in His image and likeness (see Gen. 1:26); therefore, we are created to love and be loved but because of evil and sin in the world, we become void of genuine love and the ability to love from a pure heart.  In fact, the bible says that God abounds in steadfast love and faithfulnessPsalms 86:15 says, “But You, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious (compassionate), slow to anger and abounding in steadfast (unfailing, abundant) love and faithfulness (truth).”  God also said this same thing about himself in Ex. 34:6.  The words “steadfast love” is recorded 398 times in the English Standard Version of the Bible, which is closely translated from the original texts.  Additionally, God loves us sacrificially (see 1 John 4:10, 16-21; Rom. 5:8; John 15:13; 1 John 3:16-18; John 3:16).  In return, we are to love God with all our hearts, minds, and souls (see Deut. 6:5; 10:12; 11:13; 13:3; 30:6; Joshua 22:5; Matt. 22.37; Mark 12:30), which we cannot do when our hearts are full of offenses and hate.  Not only are we to love God, but we are to love others (see 1 John 4:7-11,12; Lev. 19:18; Matt. 22:39; Mark 12:32; John 13:34; Rom. 13:9).  In fact, loving others is the fulfillment of the law (see James 2:8; Rom. 13:8,10; Gal. 5:14).

How can we love from a pure heart: 1 Peter 1:22 & 23 says, “Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth (found in the Bible) for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart, 23) since you have been born again (1 Pet. 1:3), not of perishable seed but of imperishable, through the living and abiding Word of God.”  (also see Heb. 4:12, which says, “the Word of God is living and active“)  1Timothy 1:5 says, “The aim of our charge (goal of our instruction; NAS) is love that comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere (genuine) faith.”  2 Timothy 2:22 also says, “So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.”  To learn how to love from a pure heart, please visit my website, hopeforcompletehealing.com where you will find research and examples of how to purify your heart and mind from the many offenses you have stored up over your lifetime.  These methods have been tried and are incredibly successful.

Freedom from Insecurity, which is Protected by Betrayal and Control Strongholds

We all have some measure of insecurity, whether we realize it or not, because we live with and work with sinful, hurting people who hurt others, and we are not exempt. Insecurities are revealed by the negative reactions when they are triggered by what someone says, does, or does not do. For example, if someone found fault with me or with what I did, I would have an anxiety attack, and feel they didn’t like me, and that I will never be good enough. If someone did not give me the praise for doing something, then I would feel rejected and unappreciated, etc. Another example is when I would suggest doing something or going somewhere, and I would be ignored or discounted, then I would get angry and feel sorry for myself because I didn’t feel valued so I withdrew or acted out of anger to get control. Insecurities are also revealed by the negative tapes that are automatically played out when we feel out of control or discounted. The negative tapes could be, “I’ll never be accepted because I am different,” “I’ll never be able to accomplish anything because people don’t support me,” “What is wrong with me?” etc. Have you ever heard yourself say, “I can’t do this because…,” “This is too hard,” I’m not good enough,” “People can’t be trusted,” “I need to do this myself,” etc.

The strongholds of injustice and unfairness contribute to issues of betrayal and wanting to be in control. This is not uncommon with people who have been abused or grew up in dysfunctional families. I struggled with the control stronghold for several years, even though I would continually loose and put it off. I wanted to control what people did and what they thought of me, as well as control circumstances in order to prevent being hurt, disappointed, or even annoyed. I asked God why I kept dealing with this control issue, and He showed me that there was an outer mental stronghold of betrayal that protected my need to be controlling. The betrayal stronghold was built and kept in place by negative memories of betrayal by those who should have protected and loved me. These painful memories of betrayal developed insecurities, which are basically unhealthy beliefs and lies that perpetuates anxiety about what others do, not do, or think and say. For instance, I trusted that my parents, my spouse, and friends would love me and not hurt me, or lie to me, but they did. As a result, I disassociated and disconnected because I felt that I was not able to trust them. Note, some people should not be trusted and that is okay. Dictionary.com defines betray as 2) to be unfaithful in guarding, maintaining, or fulfilling; be disloyal to.

I believe there is no greater injustice than the betrayal of one’s sexuality because it wounds the soul the deepest. I also believe that the betrayal of sexuality causes the most damage to our self-esteem and self-worth because God created sexuality to be a beautiful act of vulnerability between two married people who love each other. And because our sexuality is an intimate part of us, any childhood sexual interference such as pornography, exposure to sexual acts (even in a movie), fondling, uncomfortable affection, making a child take on the role of a spouse, adult humor, and so on,  damages the very core of a child or teen’s being. This causes a person to feel confusion, shame, and humiliation, which then causes sexual violation secrets to be carefully guarded and deeply buried in the soul. These buried secrets continue to have a profound effect on how a person see’s themselves and others. I have known people who had great difficulty having a healthy marriage because of these secrets. A lot of books have been written about this topic and are a good resource if you have these buried secrets. Talking with a counselor is also very helpful but I want to caution you to be careful what counselor you choose to share your sexual violation secrets with. Not every counselor or pastor understands the damage of sexual betrayal and they may cause more confusion and betrayal.

Total healing and transformation happen only when we come to Jesus with our damaged sexuality and allow Him to restore our purity and respect. This is a supernatural act of healing that is received by faith. In fact, all painful memories of betrayal of all kinds can be healed, which in turn, heal insecurities and the need to be controlling.  This can be done by going through the prayer format to destroy strongholds found on my website: hopeforcompletehealing.com

The above statements are passages from my book called “Unseen Battles for Your Mind,” which is in the editing stage, and therefore, is not to be recopied without my permission.