How to Recognize and Eliminate Emotional Cancer

Emotional cancer stays hidden deep in your heart even when you think you are okay. It is infectious and spreads into other areas of your life, and it destroys your peace, joy, and righteousness (spiritual right thinking). God gave me this revelation last week when it was triggered by an email. It was hidden, and I didn’t realize I had it until it was triggered.

How did I discover I had emotional cancer?

Last week I received a layoff notice. I accept that I am getting laid off because of the hardship placed on the University from the COVID-19 pandemic, and I have a peace that God will provide for my needs and lead me to another job. In my last post, I describe how I was processing this difficult news and how I felt betrayed by the Department Head because she told us that all our jobs are secure and that everyone matters to her. So when I received an email from her, wanting to know when she could chat (her words), I became anxious, and for a lack of a better word, I felt this unsettling “grrrrr” inside my soul. I felt like the cat on my home page. Do you know that feeling?

I had forgiven her and put off my negative beliefs and turned it over to God, and I was doing good. So I thought. So, I read two of my blogs called “Being Thankful During Hard Times” and “Caution—How to Get Out of The Pit,” and they both helped me change my wrong thinking and refocus again on God’s promises. I didn’t know why I felt offended when I saw her email until I read a blog post about grief where the writer wrote about the need to tell your story and not to allow your grief to turn into resentment. As soon as I read the word “resentment,” I realized why I was still upset, it was resentment for being, well, betrayed.

What is resentment and how do we develop this emotional cancer?

The dictionary defines resentment as a feeling of indignation and showing displeasure toward a person, from a sense of being injured or offended by some act, remark, insult, etc. I felt injured by my Department Head and became offended. A person who has resentment will show anger and ill will for any real or perceived wrong or injury, which they believe is unfair. Resentments build up and grow in your heart throughout your life. These painful memories cause negative thinking and false beliefs, which continue to feed our resentment. When this emotional cancer is not exposed and healed, it leads to bitterness and hate. Job 7:11 states, “Therefore I will not restrain my mouth; I will speak in the anguish of my spirit; I will complain in the bitterness of my soul.” A bitter person only focuses on their pain and it prevents them from maturing. Have you noticed that the older a person gets, the more bitter they become? When my mother got dementia and could not remember her painful memories, she became a very pleasant, peaceful person for the first time in her life. Read, “Hope for Lasting Peace, Love, and Victory” to learn more.

How to know you have resentment.

Read the following questions. If you answer yes to any one of them, you have hidden resentment.

  • Do you complain about someone or something?
  • Do you dread being around a certain person?
  • When you hear a person’s name do you feel irritated with that person?
  • Do you feel something is unfair or someone was unfair to you?
  • Do you become depressed and pouty, or angry and unkind when you are disappointed?
  • Do you feel jealous or envious of someone because of that person’s rivalry, success, or advantages?
  • Do you feel hurt by something someone did or said?
  • Do you recognize you do not have peace, joy, and right thinking?

Why is feeling offended a sign you have the emotional cancer of resentment?

Most people do not realize they have offenses in their hearts. So be mindful of how you answer the questions in the previous section. When you experience emotional pain and displeasure from an unkind act, unfairness, mistreatment, disrespect, betrayal, unacceptance, and being ignored it creates a painful memory and an offense in your heart. Disappointment also creates a painful memory and causes us to be offended because we are not getting what we want and we feel it is unfair. Once you are offended, the seed of resentment is planted. We will always have disappointment, so resolving to maintain a forgiving and thankful attitude will prevent us from becoming offended and resentful. This is why it is essential to discipline your mind to stay on heavenly promises. Read how to develop heavenly thinking in the posts called Can You Be Too Heavenly Minded? and How to experience a heavenly life on earth.

Recall your last argument or the last time you were frustrated or disappointed. Using the definition of an offense, can you identify what you or the other person was offended about? Once you discover the cause of the offense, then you can work to solve it and heal the emotional cancer of resentment. My book called “Hope for Complete Healing” on my website identifies many causes for offense and the solution. I encourage you to read it so you can love well and have peace, joy, and right thinking. Also, read, “#1 Destroyer of All Relationships and the Solution” for a better understanding of how destructive being offended is.

How do I eliminate resentment?

I recommend the following actions. First, capture the offending thoughts by acknowledging they exist. The evidence is not feeling peace, joy, and thinking the right thoughts. Second, once you acknowledge you are offended, then ask God to show you why you are offended. Third, forgive the person or persons involved. You may have to accept the situation you are disappointed by and trust God’s promises. Fourth, ask God to remove the wrong thinking and false beliefs about the situation and then to take out the seed of resentment sown in your heart. You don’t know you have resentment until it sprouts and takes root in your heart. So as soon as you realize you are offended by a perceived unfairness that causes disappointment, then immediately ask God to remove the seed of resentment before it causes problems.  If resentment is left go, it will become bitterness and hate, at which point, the emotional cancer is at stage 4. Hebrews12:15 tells us to “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.” Please read the Five Steps to Heal Your Heart and Purify Your Soul for the prayer model, you can pray to eliminate offenses and resentments.

Conclusion:

You now know that emotional cancer is resentment and how it develops in your heart. I ask some questions to help you uncover the hidden resentments you may have. The key indicator you have this cancer is feeling offended. Eliminating emotional cancer is not easy but is necessary so it does not spread and affect your decisions and relationships. There is hope for healing resentment in your life, but you first need to ask God to expose it for Him to heal it. Jeremiah 17:9-10 says, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? 10) I the LORD search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.


If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the link to my post and website with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

RELATED POSTS

Love from a Pure Heart

WHY HEAL YOUR HEART AND PURIFY YOUR SOUL?

The Link Between Disappointment, Resentment, and Self-control

Why Should I Forgive?

Yet Another Layoff—How to Rise Above Worry, Anger, Insecurity, and Grief

Tragic news sucks the life out of you, so how do you accept it and move on in hopes of a better future?

I am getting laid off because of the COVID19 pandemic. My husband found out, he is now furloughed with no guarantee he will return to work. Am I concerned, yes. Concern though is another word for worry and fear, but it sounds more sophisticated. Worry and fear are a trap, and when you get caught in it, it’s hard to get free. Grieving and anger are also a trap that keeps you longer than you want, and may even cripple you emotionally and spiritually. Since I have been through two other layoffs, I know God is faithful and will provide for all my needs.

Why does terrible news suck the life out of you?

You can’t help but worry, be fearful of the future, be angry, feel insecure, and grieve the loss. When you receive unpleasant news, your mind goes in every direction but on God’s promises. And if you are like me, you crave consistency, security, and routine. I hate change, especially losing relationships. And if our identity is in what we do, then we will become insecure. Losing a job is humbling, for some, humiliating. Layoffs take a mental, emotional, and physical toll in our lives and sap our strength when our minds focus on negative thinking. It is okay to not be okay when your world is changed.  It is natural to grieve a loss or losses and be angry at those who caused your loss. But if you stay there you will lose your life of peace and joy.  To change negative thoughts into positive thoughts, do the following three things.

Three positive ways to respond to tragic news.

First, recount God’s past miracles. God was faithful and helped me through many difficult days. My last lay off was no fault on my part but was because my new supervisor did not like me and wanted a staff change. I was devastated because I was the only one working full time and my son would lose his tuition break, plus I carried the health benefits. But God miraculously changed my husband’s job from part-time to full-time by the first day of the semester so my son could get the tuition break and to provide health benefits. Praise the Lord. Now, I need to practice my life verses in 1Theselonians 5:16-18 to “rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus.

Second, forgive those who caused your loss, even if it you are not at fault, you still get angry and offended for one reason or another. I may need to forgive China for not controlling the virus in their country and for letting their citizens fly to other countries to spread the virus, which caused my hardships and resulting layoff. Forgiveness releases the power of the offense you feel and prevents it from controlling your beliefs and actions.

For example, I woke up in the middle of the night ruminating over the fact that the Department Head assured everyone that no one would lose their job and the department is okay financially. She said she cared about everyone in her department and that everyone mattered. So, why am I being laid-off? Did she lie? My husband gently reminded me to forgive her. When I forgave her and took the negative thoughts captive and put them out of my mind, then I could go back to sleep. I woke up the next morning with the thought that I am a child of the King of the Universe. Why do I need to be concerned? John 16:33 Jesus says, “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

Third, trust God to keep His promises. Promise five of the 15 Promises post is God’s plans for you are for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11). I have written many blog posts on keeping your thoughts on the things of God so you can have peace and joy. To be honest, I was taking the anger and worry bait but reminded myself to take my negative thoughts captive and think about those things that are true and good, etc. Read these posts to learn more:

How do you seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness?

Psalm 91:1–How to Dwell in Heaven Now

Being Thankful During Hardships

ALL THOUGHTS ARE WITHIN OUR CONTROL

Thoughts That Create Peace Within and Without

Hope will help you get to the other side of awful news?

God wants to give you a future and a hope. 2Chronicles 16:9a tells us, “For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to give strong support to those whose heart is blameless toward him.” God wants to support us through the sad times, but we have to trust and obey Him. Also, an often-quoted verse that comforts us during hard times is Romans 8:28. “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” When we put our hope in God’s promises and purpose, then we will have strength, peace, and joy. The Webster dictionary says hope is a feeling that what is wanted will happen; desire accompanied by anticipation or expectation. Hope in God’s promises. The Bible says faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see (see Hebrews 11:1). I have written a post on hope that goes well with this post, you can read it here and Hope for Lasting Peace, Love, and Victory.

Conclusion:

You can choose to think negative thoughts and allow awful news to suck the life out of you, or you can turn your thoughts toward the promises of God and have peace and joy. There is hope only in God’s promises. Choose a promise and hold on to it and remind yourself of it and stay in peace and joy.  When I was going through my divorce I held onto the promises in Isaiah 61:7, “Instead of your shame there shall be a double portion; instead of dishonor they shall rejoice in their lot; therefore in their land they shall possess a double portion; they shall have everlasting joy. ” God fulfilled this promise in my life. He will be faithful to his promises you hope in as well.

Photo by nikko macaspac


If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the link to my post and website with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

RELATED POSTS

How the Devil Causes Hardships

How We Know God Will Never Forsake Us?

HOW FEAR CONTROLS YOU!

How to Embrace the Challenge of Change with Grace

CAUTION – HOW TO GET OUT OF THE PIT

Pt. 2: Why You Can and Cannot Trust God? 

How do you seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness?

Can You Be Too Heavenly Minded?

Why, What, and How to Submit to God and be FREE

How the Devil Causes Trouble

Can the devil and demons cause us trouble? The quick answer, yes. The long answer, yes, but God sets limits and promises to be with you, and restore you. God also promises to rescue those who fear and love Him from all their troubles. Psalms 91:14 tells us, “Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him because he knows my name.” For more details, see my blog post called Psalm 91:14-16 — RESCUED FROM TROUBLES. Psalm 34:7 states, “The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and delivers them.

Example of a demon afflicting the Apostle Paul.

The Apostle Paul describes how a demon afflicted him in 2Corinthians 12:7-9,

So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. 8) Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. 9) But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

God’s grace is enough for us when we suffer hardships. God’s grace is His power in your life. No one knows what the thorn in the flesh was, but Paul did not like it and pleaded with God to remove it. In 2Corinthians 12:10 Paul stated, “For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” Also, in Philippians 4:11 Paul said, “Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.”

An example in the Apostle Peter’s life.

In Luke 22:31-32 Jesus said, “Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you (demanded permission), that he might sift you like wheat, 32) but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.Your faith will be tested, so expect it. During the test, turn your eyes on God in prayer and receive His comfort.

Paul states in 2Corinthians 1:3-4, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” God knows hardships are inevitable, so comfort others with the same comfort you received from Him. Jesus comforted Peter after Satan tested his faith (see John 21:15-17), so Peter could have compassion for those whose faith is being tested and can comfort them.

Example in the Christian church.

Jesus says in Revelation 2:10, “Do not fear what you are about to suffer. Behold, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and for ten days you will have tribulation. Be faithful unto death, and I will give you the crown of life.” Know that God is with you no matter what the hardship is, and you can trust Him to keep His promises to deliver you from all your troubles. Jesus tells us in John 16:33,  “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world, you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”  And the reason why we have tribulations is explained in 1John 5:19b, which states, “the whole world lies in the power of the evil one.”

Only as you stay in prayer, trusting God to strengthen your faith as you endure the hardship, will you be victorious. 1John 4:4 tells us, “Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.” Jesus is greater than Satan, so you can endure in Christ’s strength as Paul tells us in Philippians 4:13I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

To clear up any confusion you may have, I am not saying all hardships come from the devil.  Many hardships come through our self-centered, sinful, choices.  This concept will be fleshed out in the next blog post.

The example of Job.

We can’t forget about Job (sounds like robe) and the hardships Satan caused. He was very wealthy and devoted to God. But with God’s permission, Satan caused Job’s children to die, lose his wealth, and tormented him with boils over his entire body. Job 1:8-12, states,

And the LORD said to Satan, ‘Have you considered my servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, who fears God and turns away from evil?’ 9) Then Satan answered the LORD and said, ‘Does Job fear God for no reason? 10) Have you not put a hedge around him and his house and all that he has on every side? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in the land. 11) But stretch out your hand and touch all that he has, and he will curse you to your face.’ 12) And the LORD said to Satan, ‘Behold, all that he has is in your hand. Only against him do not stretch out your hand.’ So Satan went out from the presence of the LORD.

Many truths can be found in the book of Job. Job never curses God, and at the end of the story, God gives Job twice as much as he had before (see Job 42:10-17). Could Job’s fear have opened him up to his hardships? Job 3:25 states, “For the thing that I fear comes upon me, and what I dread befalls me.” The Hebrew literal interpretation is “I feared a fear, and it came upon me.”

Fear comes when you stop trusting in God’s protection and focus on the what-ifs that may never happen. Job’s fears opened the door to allow Satan to bring destruction into his life. Many people have unrealistic fears that cause them to become “preppers” (people who stockpile food and goods) for something that may never happen. Some people have a debilitating fear of germs or disease, which entraps them in restrictive behavior. God says in Isaiah 41:10, “fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Put off the wrong thoughts that lead to fear and pride and bind in the truth, God is your protection and your provider. Read my post on how fear controls you and that God will not forsake you.

There is hope when you look to Jesus to strengthen you and to deliver you from your hardships.  I am praying for you. Please leave a comment, I like to hear what your thoughts are.


If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the link to my post and website with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

OTHER RELATED POSTS:

Psalm 91 Posts

How We Know God Will Never Forsake Us?

You can know God will never forsake you, though you may sometimes feel God has forsaken you because of unanswered prayers and sinful behavior. Psalm 9:9-10  states,

The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed,

a stronghold in times of trouble.

Those who know Your name trust in You,

for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek You.

We know because this promise is for those who seek Him. How do you seek God? You seek Him through continual prayer. This isn’t just on your knees praying, it is a conversation with God throughout the day wherever you may be. When you seek Him, you want to be close to Him and when you are close to Him, you won’t be afraid.

Why should we trust God? 

We live in uncertain times and we have a lot to be afraid of. If we do not trust God then we will give in to fear and anxiety. Deuteronomy 31:6&8 states, “Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them (enemy or the unknown), for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” Verse 8 states, “It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”  This promise comes with the command to be strong and courageous and to not fear or be dismayed. I will be honest, not being afraid or dismayed is hard to do during times of uncertainty. I know I am not afraid when my focus is on God’s words of truth and not on my circumstances. When you seek God in prayer, you turn your focus on Him for help and comfort. Therefore, God’s Word says to pray without ceasing in 1Theselonians 5:17. Read through the Psalms and mark all the verses that encourage you to trust God’s promises for protection and help and turn them into a prayer.

To be honest, I did not trust God because of the painful memories of being forsaken by my parents. I had to heal those painful memories before I could trust God. You may have similar painful experiences, so I encourage you to read my short book on my website. 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

But I feel God forsook me when He did not answer my prayers.

When God does not give us what we pray for, we feel forsaken. Understand, God’s ways are higher than our ways and He knows the future. God did not answer my prayer to heal my first marriage. I felt forsaken, afraid, and despaired as I faced divorce. I don’t know why He did not answer my prayers, but I know that my first husband would not humbly submit to God, so how could God change our situation.

I was angry with God for many years and did not believe He loved me. When I felt abandoned by God, I poured my heart out to Him and told Him I wanted to walk away from my faith in Him. And God answered, “What is the alternative?” I thought about it and knew that Satan would love to destroy me. So, I stayed tight with God through prayer, praise, and pondering scripture, and I experienced many miracles, which I share in the post called, Trust God to Keep His Promises. I continued to seek God, and He was with me.

How can we not be afraid?

When you are close to God in prayer, then you are confident He is with you and will help you. Isaiah 41:10 states,

fear not, for I am with you;

be not dismayed, for I am your God;

I will strengthen you,

I will help you,

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Memorize this verse, so when something bad happens, you can remind yourself of these promises, and not be afraid. Also, memorize Psalm 23, 103, and 139.  Hebrews 13:6 states, “So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?

Why do we sometimes feel God has forsaken us?

The Bible says our unconfessed sins block God from hearing our prayers. Isaiah 59:2 states, “but your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden his face from you so that he does not hear.” You may feel forsaken by God when you sin because sin separates you from Him.  Psalm 107:9-17 states,

9) For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things.

10) Some sat in darkness and in the shadow of death, prisoners in affliction and in irons, for they had rebelled against the words of God, and spurned the counsel of the Most High.

12) So, he bowed their hearts down with hard labor; they fell down, with none to help.

13) Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress.

14) He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death, and burst their bonds apart.

15) Let them thank the LORD for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man!

16) For he shatters the doors of bronze and cuts in two the bars of iron.

17) Some were fools through their sinful ways, and because of their iniquities suffered affliction;

What did you learn from this scripture passage?  I learned that God is merciful, but He requires obedience. God wants to help you, but first, you must confess your sins and seek the Lord for forgiveness.  1John 1:9 states, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Conclusion:

We know God promises to not forsake those who seek and trust Him.  We know we don’t have to be afraid or dismayed during an uncertain future because God promises to go with us and help us. We know God may not answer our prayers the way we want, but we know He loves us and will be with us and be our refuge and stronghold in times of trouble. We know that sin separates us from God, but when we confess our sins He is faithful to forgive us and to help us in our time of need (Hebrews 4:14-16). Seek God and trust Him to keep His promises.


If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the link to my post and website with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

RELATED POSTS

HOW FEAR CONTROLS YOU!

CAUTION – HOW TO GET OUT OF THE PIT

Pt. 2: Why You Can and Cannot Trust God? 

County Jail Study on Psalms 103

Psalm 91 Posts

DISCOVER UNRESOLVED NEGATIVE HEART ISSUES

Do you know if you have unresolved childhood and negative heart issues? Because we live in an imperfect world with selfish people, we will be hurt and a negative heart issue begins.  Negative heart issues are created by our perception of what others have done to hurt us and what we have done to hurt others.  If these issues are not resolved then they control your thoughts, feelings, and reactions.  To begin discovering a new reality for your life start here: 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

For example, I realized I felt disconnected from my friends and family, so I thought about my childhood and realized that both my father and mother had disconnected emotionally from me and from each other. Their emotional disconnection from me made me feel unloved, so I emotionally disconnect from them to block the pain of feeling unloved. This reaction carried over into all my relationships, including my relationship with God. I went through the steps for resolving negative heart issues, and I now feel more emotionally connected to my husband, family, and friends.  I am now able to mentally process disappointment when my husband does not do what I expect. I am also aware of emotional disconnection issues with other relationships that also need to be resolved.

To begin discovering a new reality for your life start here: 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

The following questions will help you discover your unresolved childhood and negative heart issues that you still have to this day.

1. Do you have angry outbursts when people do things you don’t like (i.e. people don’t drive correctly, or someone does not meet your expectation)?

2. Do you crave acceptance and feel you are a people pleaser and need people’s approval?

3. Do you have feelings of guilt for things you have done or didn’t do to those you should have loved?

4. Are you jealous or envious of someone’s advantage or position in the family or at work?

5.  Do you insist on having things your way or live with someone who insists on having things their way?

6.  Do you have feelings of displeasure or indignation at some act, remark, or person?

If you answered yes to one of these questions then work through the LOVE Issues worksheet.


7. Are you sad and feel despair most of the time?

8. Do you find yourself often doing things to escape loneliness and discontentment?

9. Do you have low expectations of people; that is, you are despondent and feel no hope?

10.  Do you feel like you have no worth because others have treated you or still do treat you as not having worth?

11.  Do you complain and express dissatisfaction often or have you been the recipient?

12.  Do you feel humiliation and shame?

If you answered yes to one of these questions then work through the JOY Issues worksheet.


13. Are you often anxious and worried?

14. Are you immobilized by fear that prevents you from being able to reason logically?

15.  Do you feel tense and nervous in certain situations and around certain people?

16.  Do you feel agitated with someone because they offended you by something they did, did not do; said, or did not say?

17. Have you experienced strife?

If you answered yes to one of these questions then work through the PEACE Issues worksheet.


18. Do unfair actions upset you?

19.  Are you frustrated or impatient when your expectations are not met or is someone frustrated or impatient with you?

20.  Do you have unrealistic expectations or does someone have unrealistic expectations of you?

21.  Do you find yourself irritated a lot or is someone often irritated with you?

If you answered yes to one of these questions then work through the PATIENCE Issues worksheet.


22. Have you been neglected, abandoned, or rejected or have you done the same thing to someone?

23.  Have you been hurt by someone who was mean, rude, or rough toward you or have you been mean, rude, or rough to someone?

24.  Have you been vengeful or has someone been vindictive toward you?

If you answered yes to one of these questions then work through the KINDNESS Issues worksheet.


25. Do you tend to judge people and circumstances?

26. Do you feel guilt from the things you have done?

27. Has someone made you feel inadequate and devalued or have you done the same to someone.

28. Do you find yourself being self-centered and do not want to sacrifice for others?

If you answered yes to one of these questions then work through the GOODNESS Issues worksheet.


29. Do you feel disappointed when your desires are not met and feel no one cares?

30. Do you find you need to lie sometimes to protect yourself or to manipulate the desired outcome and what people think?

31.  Have you been a recipient of someone who has lied about you?

32.  Do you feel betrayed, victimized, or deceived or have you done this to someone?

33.  Are you defiant or sometimes resist or challenge authority?

34.  Do you feel you cannot trust others or place your confidence in others?

If you answered yes to one of these questions then work through the TRUST AND FAITHFULNESS Issues worksheet.


35. Do you have chronic health problems and mental distresses?

36. Have you been known to brag and dismiss people because you feel better than them or has this been done to you?

37.  Do you sometimes condemn others by strongly disapproving or has someone done this to you?

38. Do you sometimes feel foolish or contemptible and have no dignity?

39.  Are you rough and impatient at times or has someone been rough and impatient with you?

If you answered yes to one of these questions then work through the MEEKNESS, HUMILITY, AND GENTLENESS Issues worksheet.


40. Are you sensitive when people let you down, and do you want to control people and situations?

41. Do you like your harmful desire(s) and action(s) too much, even though they are destructive?

42. Do you feel disconnected from family and friends?

43.  Are you not willing to work or exert yourself and feel you deserve special treatment or has someone told this to you?

44.  Do you overreact during stressful circumstances?

45.  Do you try to control and manipulate people and situations or has this been done to you?

If you answered yes to one of these questions then work through the SELF-CONTROL Issues worksheet.

RELATED POSTS:

WHY HEAL YOUR HEART AND PURIFY YOUR SOUL?

Five Steps to Heal Your Heart and Purify Your Soul

HOW MEMORIES INFLUENCE OUR THINKING, EMOTIONS, AND BEHAVIOR


If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the link to my post and website with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

HOW FEAR CONTROLS YOU!

What should you fear? What is fear? Fear is a thought that controls your beliefs and decisions.  We mostly fear the unknown. If you are afraid of germs or the virus, then you will protect yourself.  If you are afraid of snakes, spiders, or mice, then you will scream and run away or try to kill them.  There are many fears a person can have, and some are irrational fears.  Have you seen the movie “What About Bob?” starring Bill Murry and Richard Dreyfus?  This movie depicts how irrational fear controls the life of Bob, played by Bill Murry.

Irrational Fears.

Many fears are irrational thoughts that can be overwhelming but can be overcome. Most fears usually originate from a bad experience, your imagination, or from what you watch on TV (i.e. news) or in the movies, and what you read.  For the life of me, I do not understand how people can watch horror shows. Fearful images remain in your memory and cause stress in your body, which leads to illnesses.  Traumatic memories that trigger fears can be healed so the fear no longer controls you.  To heal traumatic memories read my short book.

For example, irrational fear controls people who are preparing for the worst disasters that may never happen. Of all things, we are experiencing a pandemic and are told to stay in isolation, so everyone is buying up all the toilet paper, cleaners, hand sanitizers, etc. You should have at least 1-3 months of necessities on hand to help you get through  most difficult times.  I am glad I have three months of toilet paper in my what-if storage shelf because we can’t find it anywhere.

You can transform fear into peace, by replacing the fearful thoughts with reassuring thoughts of protection.  Read through all the Psalms and note every passage related to protection, deliverance from troubles, and God as your refuge. Write key verses out that help you feel peaceful and review them. This exercise will greatly encourage you and strengthen your faith.  Read my blog series on Psalm 91 – Psalm 91 Posts

What should you fear?

You should fear God.  Not in an irrational way but because you want to stay in a right relationship with Him by not sinning. The fear of God is to be in awe of His mighty power and love, which causes you to turn away from doing evil. When you sin you do evil because evil is disobeying God and doing and saying things to harm or cause trouble for other people (Webster dictionary also see Romans 6). Proverbs 3:7 states, “Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil.” And Proverbs 8:13 states, “The fear of the LORD is hatred of evil. Pride and arrogance and the way of evil and perverted speech I hate.” Believe and know, God strongly supports you when your heart is completely His and you are submitted to Him. 2Chronicals 16:9 states, “For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to give strong support to those whose heart is blameless toward him.

Pride keeps you in fear of the wrong things, like the fear of man instead of God.  Fear of rejection causes you to do anything to not be rejected, even if it is sin.  Pride keeps you from being in awe of God and submitting to His authority and turning from your sin. Proverbs 22:4 states, “The reward for humility and fear of the LORD is riches and honor and life.” Is this something you would like? Read “How Pride Destroys

What are the benefits of fearing God?

  1. God’s angel protects you, and you will be blessed, and you will lack nothing. Psalms 34:7-9 states, “The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and delivers them. 8) Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! 9) Oh, fear the LORD, you his saints, for those who fear him have no lack!
  2. God will help you and shield you from all harm. Psalm 115:11 states, “You who fear the LORD, trust in the LORD! He is their help and their shield.Proverbs 19:23The fear of the LORD leads to life, and whoever has it rests satisfied; he will not be visited by harm.
  3. You will have confidence and you will feel safe. Proverb 14:26 states, “In the fear of the LORD is strong confidence: and His children shall have a place of refuge.
  4. You will have wisdom and know what to do. Psalms 111:10 states, “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; all those who practice it have a good understanding.
  5. You will have a long life. Proverbs 10:27The fear of the LORD prolongs life, but the years of the wicked will be short.

Conclusion:

Being fearful is our natural inclination.  But it is better to fear God and be under His protection and provision than to fear the things going on around you or to fear people and what they may do or think.  To keep your peace and not be afraid, claim the promises in your Bible, especially the Psalms, and stay away from the things that put fear into your mind. If you have an irrational fear that is controlling your life, please seek help or read my short book on my website.

I hope this post has helped you, and I am praying for you.

RELATED POSTS:

How to Embrace the Challenge of Change with Grace

Bondage to Unseen Controls

Thoughts That Create Peace Within and Without

What Controls Your Thoughts?

Identify and Replace False Beliefs

TRUST Leads to PEACE


If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the link to my post and website with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom. 

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

How to Embrace the Challenge of Change with Grace

Do you look for opportunities when there is an unexpected change in your life?  Or do you become depressed? I have to admit; I dislike change. With all change comes the challenge to adapt, learn and apply new skills, and look for new opportunities.  But when you let your thoughts dwell on the uncertainties, what-ifs, and what you don’t like, you become depressed.  When I think of life-changing situations that were challenging, I think about Joseph and Daniel.

Joseph was from a very wealthy family and was 13-16 years old when His brothers sold him to Egyptian traders to be a slave.  That would make anyone depressed.  Read my post called Example of Suffering Well and God’s Response: Part 2 of Suffering Well to learn how Joseph adapted with grace to the challenges of change in his life and how God blessed him.

In this post, we will look at the major life changes Daniel faced and how he kept his focus on his faith and not the things he didn’t like going on around him. When he was between the ages of 12-15, the Babylonians took him and others captive.  But, because he was from a family of nobility, he was trained in the Chaldean culture and groomed to be an administrator over the other enslaved Jews.  How would you react to being taken to a foreign country as a captive? Would you adapt to the change with grace?

What held Daniel together was the principles he learned from his Jewish faith.  He kept his focus on pleasing God. He resolved, with the other Jewish boys, to avoid conforming to the habits of idolaters and “polluting” themselves by customs forbidden by their religion.  So, Daniel implored the chief Eunuch to only feed them vegetables and water.  God blessed them with better health and strength than the other captives in training who ate the King’s special food and wine.  Will you resolve not to defile your body with processed foods that cause weakness?  Read why in my post on being free from infirmity strongholds.

Daniel resolved to obey God and embraced the challenges of change with grace.  God blessed him with great wisdom, which caused four different Kings from four empire changes to keep Daniel as their advisor and head administrator. From the time they took him captive, he stayed focused on his mission to pray three times a day for his nation. He kept his thoughts on God’s deliverance and grace. When he was set-up by jealous men and thrown into a lion’s den, he trusted God, and an angel shut the lion’s mouths.  Will you trust God and keep your mind stayed on Him during the hardships and changes in your life?

Daniel lived according to the principles of God during adversity, and he succeeded. Do you have principles you have resolved to live by no matter what changes or hardships you might have to endure? Read my post on how to develop a mission statement for your life.

What principles guide your life and help you meet the challenges of change with grace?

RELATED POSTS

Can You Be Too Heavenly Minded?

Victorious Thinking to Live a Successful Life

Healthy Thinking and Behaving from Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

Know your Purpose?


If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the link to my post and website with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom. 

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

CAUTION – HOW TO GET OUT OF THE PIT

Have you ever fallen into the pit of despair, feeling deep sadness and hopelessness?  Have you ever dug a pit of despair? Are you in one now because of the pandemic? Thoughts of despair lead to depression and illness.  I remember when I found out my brilliant son was a heroin and meth addict.  My heart was broken beyond despair. The emotional anguish caused me to become crippled from muscle cramps.

I am reminded of the scene in the movie, “The Princess Bride,” when Wesley is taken to the pit of despair by the albino (you can Youtube the scene). Have you ever felt stretched beyond what you could bear, and your life was being sucked out of you from the stress of loss and hardships? What were you thinking?  To learn more about the power of thoughts, read What Controls Your Thoughts? and Thoughts That Create Peace Within and Without

How do you dig a pit of despair?

In my last post, I explained how difficulties and hardships are inevitable throughout our lives and maybe every day.  Hardships are supposed to make us stronger and increase our ability to persevere through hardships, thus, making us more patient and mature. Romans 5:3&4 states, “but we rejoice in our sufferings (tribulations, afflictions), knowing that suffering produces endurance (patience), and endurance produces (prove) character, and character produces hope.”  Ironically, we are to be happy for hardships because they create hope.  But instead, we think about what we don’t like and what is unfair, and we lose the hope for what we desire. So, we dig the mental pit of despair and writhe in the mud of sadness. The pit is where many people will commit suicide, so look out for those who are in despair, and give them hope.  Read my post about how to have hope:  HOPE: How it Motivates and Inspires BUT God’s Sovereignty….

Why do you fall into the pit of despair?

  1. Negative thinking helps you dig the pit of despair in your mind and will keep you there. Change your thoughts from negative to positive and you will see your way out of the pit.  POSTS on Thoughts
  2. You fall in the pit because of disappointment when you think you will never get what you want.
  3. Focusing on your loss blinds you, and you fall into the pit and remain there until you begin to claim the promises of God. 15 Promises We Can Trust God to Keep

How do you avoid the pit of despair?

You already know—change your thinking. The best way to change your thinking is to replace your false beliefs with the truth of God’s Word.  Read the following Scriptures and record in your journal what mental changes you will make when going through hardships and you find yourself in the pit. Identify wrong thinking and false beliefs you may have in your particular hardship that needs to be loosed/put off from your mind. And then write out the truths in these Scripture passages to bind/put on to your heart and mind, to transform your wrong thinking and false beliefs.  To learn how to replace your thoughts, read Five Steps to Heal Your Heart and Purify Your Soul.

Matthew 6:33-34 states, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. 34) Therefore, do not be anxious (worry) about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”  (Read my post called, How do you seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness?)

1Peter 5:6-7 states, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you.”  (Pride keeps us in the pit because we have the false beliefs we have the right to be anxious and deserve to be miserable.)

Philippians 4:6-7 states, “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7) And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Isaiah 26:3 states, “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You because he trusts in You.

Romans 8:18 states, “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.”

2Corinthians 4:17-18 states, “For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, 18) as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

Trusting God’s promises help you triumph over the hopeless thinking that comes with every hardship. The demonic world uses hardships to cause you to doubt God and pridefully live independently of Him. Everyone battles a prideful, self-centered, sinful nature. Hardships expose your pride, wrong thinking, and false beliefs.  To learn more about pride, read HOW PRIDE DESTROYS.

Conclusion:

The pit of despair and deep sadness is easy to fall into, so don’t beat yourself up if you find yourself in one. Your thoughts control how you feel, believe, and behave, so changing your thinking will keep and get you out of the pit. Instead of thinking negative thoughts, think on the positive truth found in God’s Word.  I remained in the pit of despair and depression over my son’s addiction problem for over a year. I got out of the pit when I changed my thinking and put my son in God’s care and prayed for Him to fulfill His purpose for my son’s life.  I had a positive vision of Jesus being with my son as He leads him out of the pit of addiction.  When looked up to God and changed my thinking, I was no longer crippled by muscle cramping.  What thoughts do you need to change?  What lies do you believe that is keeping you in the pit of despair? Look up and seek God’s help.

You have hope for complete healing as you transform your thinking and painful memories.  1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

RELATED POSTS:

Pt. 2: Why You Can and Cannot Trust God? 

How to experience a heavenly life on earth.

Are you in control of your life?

Being Thankful During Hardships


If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the link to my post and website with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

How Patience is a Sign of Maturity

Did you pray for patience, then went through difficulties? Or, do frustrating things happen all the time, but now you realize you need more patience?  So, why is patience so hard and why do difficulties increase patience? You can determine your level of patience by making a note of how you react to other drivers on the road.  I was over-reactive and impatient with everyone, including myself. And driving was very stressful for me.  This post explains why you can’t be patient, why you should be patient, and how you can be patient.

I learned that mature people are patient because they are not self-centered.  They know that getting upset when something doesn’t go as planned does not change anything, except create stress.  And mature people understand life is not fair so they accept it and choose to live in peace.

When we can’t be patient.

  1. You can’t be patient when you believe something is unfair, especially when suffering an unjust wrong. Can you remember a time when you protested that something was unfair? When you felt this, you developed an offense to the unfair treatment or event. It could be a discipline you felt was unfair, the death of someone close to you, not getting what you asked for, etc.  That offense created a painful memory you may have forgotten about.  The painful memory still exists and has created unhealthy beliefs that cause you to over-react or become frustrated and irritated when an event happens that triggers unhealthy beliefs.  To heal those painful memories, read my short book on my website: 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories
  2. You can’t be patient when you are not at peace with yourself or others because you are offended.  Read: Hope for Lasting Peace, Love, and Victory
  3. You can’t be patient if you are self-centered? Pride thwarts patience because pride wants to be in control of what happens.  Prideful people do not think they have to wait, be inconvenienced, or endure hardships.  Read my posts on pride to learn more: The Core Negative Heart Issue and HOW PRIDE DESTROYS

Why be Patient?

  1. Be patient to reduce stress in your life and stress in those around you. Have you been around an impatient person?  Did you feel stress?  For example, waiting in a long line or waiting in a traffic jam can test your patience.  If you get upset and frustrated, will that help the line move faster?  No, it only increases your blood pressure and the blood pressure of those waiting in the same line. Stress causes health problems in you and the surrounding people.
  2. Be patient and hopeful and do not worry because you know God will act on your behalf and do miracles. When you get impatient because something is not happening fast enough, you become anxious, which causes physiological stress that then affects your health.
  3. Be patient and eliminate strife. When you are not patient, you will say and do unkind things.  Read: Relationship and World Changing Kindness
  4. Be patient because love is patient (see 1Corinthians 13:4). When you are patient with other people, it shows you love them. God tells us to love others as Jesus loves them and as we would want them to love us.  Ephesians 4:2 states, “with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,”  Notice, being patient means we bear with others.  When you bear with others, you are self-controlled when subjected to annoyance or provocation, which requires humility and gentleness.  Read my posts on self-control to learn more: Self-control and Maturity and How to be Self-controlled in What We Say
  5. Patience is the fruit of the Spirit. Therefore, patience is a sign of a mature Christian who yields to the work of the Holy Spirit through the trials and hardships of life.  Thankfulness is evidence of patience.  Read: Being Thankful During Hardships
  6. Be patient because Jesus is patient. 1Timothy 1:16 states, “But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life.” So, we too are called to be patient (see Romans 12:12; 1Theselonians 5:14; James 5:7; and James 5:8 states, “You also, be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand.

How to be Patient.

  1. Webster defines being patient as the bearing (enduring) of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, or irritation. Are you patient according to this definition? If not, go through the Patience Issues Worksheet and the chapter called “Finding Painful Memories” to heal the painful memories and unhealthy beliefs, so you can be mature and patient.
  2. Acknowledge you are prideful and ask God to take it from you and then give you His humility and gentleness towards other people’s issues.  Work through MEEKNESS, HUMILITY, AND GENTLENESS Issues
  3. Do you have a hard time waiting? Hope helps you wait with patience. Romans 8:25 states, “But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.Romans 12:12 states, “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulations, and be constant in prayer.”  Doing this will help you wait with patience.
  4. Ask God to show you the painful memories of offenses of when people were not patient with you or you were not patient. Then go through the healing described in “5 Steps to Heal the Soul.” Painful memories and unhealthy beliefs prevent the fruit of patience from manifesting in your life. As I have healed the painful memories of unfair treatments and disappointments, I have been much more patient and calmer than ever before. Since my painful memories were healed, I have stopped over-reacting and being controlled by my emotions.
  5. Put on patience and love. Colossians 3:12&13 states, “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” Slowly, read this verse again.  You are chosen.  You are holy.  You are beloved.  Another sign of patience is forgiving someone when you feel offended.  If this is hard for you to do read: WHY SHOULD I FORGIVE
  6. You develop patience by going through hardships, to become strong and complete. James 1:3-5 states, “for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness (patience, endurance). 4) And let steadfastness (patience) have its full effect (perfect work), that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” 

Conclusion

You don’t want to pray for patience, but developing patience is necessary to be mature and complete.  To become patient, you practice being patient during difficult and trying circumstances.  Just like you have to practice an instrument or a sport to be good at it. Practicing is hard work and often not pleasant.

You also need to put off pride and painful memories so the fruit of the spirit of patience can grow in your life.  Just like getting the rocks and weeds out of your garden allows your flowers and vegetables to grow.  Last, you are to be patient because Jesus is patient with you.  Having peace, being forgiving, and being kind is the evidence of being patient.

I would love to hear your thoughts, so please leave a comment.

RELATED POSTS:

7 Ways to Suffer Well: (Part 1)

Example of Suffering Well and God’s Response: Part 2 of Suffering Well

Patience — Freedom from Strongholds of Injustice and Unfairness


If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the link to my post and website with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom. 

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

Pt. 3: Seven Markers of a Trustworthy Person

What makes a person trustworthy?  Why do you need to be trustworthy?  The Bible says a trustworthy person will be successful and find favor with God and others in their life. Is this something you would like? Do you want to have the favor of God, your boss, or others in authority? Proverbs 3:3&4  states, “Let not steadfast love (mercy, KJV; kindness; NAS) and faithfulness (truth) forsake you; bind (tie) them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart. 4) So, you will find favor and good success (understanding, KJV; good reputation/name; NIV) in the sight of God and man.

For instance, if you were merciful and faithful to protect the confidence and reputation of those around you, then you won’t gossip or share secrets. Proverbs 11:13 states, “Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy (faithful, KJV) in spirit keeps a thing covered.”  Do you see how gossiping or slandering not only hurts the person involved but also makes you look bad and ruins your reputation?  When you talk bad about another person or lie, the one listening is wondering if you also talk bad about them, so they will not trust you. Also, consider Proverbs 14:22, which states, “Do not those who think (plot, devise) evil go astray? But mercy (kindness, love) and truth shall be to those who think of (devise, plot) good.” (MKJV).

Do you know people who have gone astray because they thought evil thoughts to harm others or themselves? Notice, how you think determines if you do evil or good.  If you think truthful and good thoughts, you feel good.  If you feel good, then you believe good things.  If you believe you are to be faithful and trustworthy, then you will act according to those good beliefs.  The same progression applies to evil thoughts, which lead you astray.  On the other hand, good thoughts lead to love and truth. I have written many posts on the power of thoughts; I encourage you to read them here.

The end of Proverbs 3:3b says to “bind (tie) them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart.” If you put something around your neck, you won’t forget it, and if you write something down and memorize it, you will live by it.  The thoughts and beliefs in your mind and heart dictate how you speak and act.

In Pt. 1: Forsaken? Betrayed? How to trust again, I covered how to heal broken trust and offenses from when you felt betrayed and forsaken by someone.  In Pt. 2: Why You Can and Cannot Trust God, I explain how you can trust God and why you don’t trust Him. This post exposes areas where someone may not be trustworthy and how to be free from the guilt of not being faithful.

A person who is trustworthy shows the love and faithfulness of God to others.  To be faithful is to be reliable, trusted, or believed. Rather than being worked up over other people’s failures, I want to look at how I have failed because I can only change myself.  Can others say you can be trusted and do they have confidence you are telling the truth and are dependable?  Rate yourself, how you think other people would rate you: 1-10 (1 being the lowest score).

____ Honest: you do not lie (white lies or exaggeration), cheat, or steal.

____ Dependable: you keep your word and people can rely on you.

____ Faithful:  people can trust and depend on you.

____ Loyal: you are faithful to a person, church, government, work, cause, duty, etc.

____ Reliable: people can depend on you to keep your word because you have integrity.

____ Fidelity: you are faithful and devoted to your obligations or vows and you are loyal.

____ Submissive: you are able to yield to the actions, control, and power of those in authority.

If you scored 1-7 in one or more areas in the list above.  Do the following for each area you scored low in to transform your life in that area.

  1. Ask God to show you the earliest memory of when you failed in that area.
  2. Ask the Holy Spirit to remove the negative stress-energy from that memory and forgive yourself or someone else.
  3. Pray to loose the power of the memory so it does not control your feelings and actions.
  4. Loose all the unhealthy beliefs created by the painful memory (ies) being healed.
  5. Bind in the truth of God’s Word, and the positive actions that you are honest, loyal, reliable, faithful, dependable, and submissive.
  6. If you feel guilt, ask God to remove the guilt related to the time you have lied or were unfaithful.
  7. Do this for all memories associated with the area you scored low in.
  8. Also, ask God to show you the painful memories where others have not been faithful or trustworthy to you.  See Pt. 1: Forsaken? Betrayed? How to trust again to heal those memories.

Guilt keeps you in bondage to your failures and sins.  God showed me how guilt from my sins, kept me from loving myself, which caused me to not love others.  I write about how to be free from guilt in the following posts:

Freedom from Humiliation and Mental Strongholds of Shame and Sadness.

WHY HEAL YOUR HEART AND PURIFY YOUR SOUL?

To find favor with God and those you associate with, be kind, merciful, faithful, and truthful.  To be successful and understanding, seek God to heal the painful memories that control your ability to be faithful and truthful.  Think good and truthful things to be faithful and trustworthy.


If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the link to my post and website with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).