Relationship and World Changing Kindness

What ever happened to kindness?  Most of my hurts and painful memories come from unkindness, beginning with my childhood to the present.  I would venture to guess that everyone has painful memories from unkind people.  These painful memories affect our thinking and beliefs, and they prevent us from being kind. We know being patient is hard, but have you considered your struggle to be kind?

For instance, I was not being kind to my husband, though he was being patient with me. Later, he said, if I treated my friends like I treat him, I would have no friends. OUCH! The next day, my husband asked if I was mad at him. I said, “I don’t think so.” So, I went to God and asked Him to show me why I was disrespecting my husband. The next day, as I was memorizing Ephesians 2:1-7, I read verse seven,so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.” God quickened my mind when I read “grace in kindness.” And He revealed I was angry at my husband for what I perceived as his unkindness towards me. I had repressed my offense and was being unkind in return.

I began to think deeply about grace and kindness. What does kindness look like in action? God brought me back to the phrase, “grace in kindness.” Grace is getting what we don’t deserve and is demonstrated by God’s kindness towards us. Grace involves forgiveness. Ephesians 1:7,8 states, “In him (Jesus) we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight.” I asked God to give me insight whether I was holding a grudge?  I know when we hold onto an offense, we can’t show grace to the person who offended us. Do you agree?

If God is willing to forgive our sins, then we can forgive the sins of others (see Matthew 6:12). Please note, God’s grace is immeasurable which He lavishes on us richly. This is hard to comprehend.  How much better the world will be if we each lavished grace and forgiveness on those who don’t deserve it? If we can comprehend the immeasurable grace God has for us, how grateful we will be. Trying to wrap my mind around this kind of grace has made me realize how ungrateful I am.

For example, in Luke 10:25-37, Jesus tells a parable of a man who was beaten and robbed, then left naked on the road. Three men came upon the naked man, the two religious leaders walk by and the third man, a Samaritan, who is despised by the Jews, showed mercy and compassion and help the man. Jesus asked, “Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?” (Luke 10:36).  The good Samaritan was not selfish with his time and money.  He went out of his way to take the man to an Inn, and then paid for the man’s stay and care.  It is hard to be kind and show mercy to those who are not kind to us, but that is the love God wants us to show to the world.  Remember, love is patient and kind… (1 Corinthians 13:4a).

1 John 3:17-18 also says,  But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? 18 Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.  Love focuses on the needs of others.  But if our thoughts are only about meeting our own needs and expectations, then we will not be patient or kind, and we will not love others well. To love well and show kindness we must transform our self-centered thoughts and beliefs to reflect God’s immeasurable grace.

Yes, I was not kind to my husband because I became offended when my demands were not met. My thoughts of being offended created a false belief my husband did not love me, and I can’t depend on him. My false beliefs caused me to feel disrespected and disrespectful. My unkindness to my husband was the result of my wrong thoughts and false beliefs. To learn more read #1 Destroyer of All Relationships and the Solution.

The wrong thinking that my husband should serve me was transformed by a blog I read by healingmission, The Christian Healing Mission Daily Blog.  The author encouraged her readers to serve as Jesus served.  This truth is found in Matthew 20:28, which states, “the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”  I was convicted of my sinful desire to be treated like a Queen and to be served.  I expected my husband to be my servant, for which he was not a willing participant. Satan wants us to live self-centered and selfish lives to keep us in bondage to misery.  Jesus wants us to follow His example and serve others in love.

I took out my “Hope for Complete Healing” booklet and looked up “Kindness Issues.” Using the list of offenses in the “Kindness Issues” worksheet, I prayed and asked God to show me why I was offended. He showed me I felt rejected when my husband didn’t do what I expected him to do. And, I was offended by how rough he spoke to me. I then went through the “Five Steps to Heal Your Heart and Purify Your Soul.

Next, I prayed and bound to my heart and mind the positive attributes of kindness and the transformation truths found on the worksheet. God then showed me I had painful memories of my mother speaking roughly to me, which triggered my response to my husband’s roughness. I went through the five steps of healing again to transform that painful memory.

I remind myself, I can only ask God to change my heart and correct my thoughts. And, I cannot expect God to change my husband because he has a will to choose how he behaves. Read the following post to know what is and is not our Authority in Prayer, Four Reasons Why We Have Authority in Prayer.

If you find you identify with my struggle to love well, then please go to God and receive healing and His immeasurable grace and forgiveness. Begin reading my short booklet today for guidance. 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

There is hope for complete healing as we receive God’s grace and forgiveness, then show grace in kindness.

If you want a paper copy of the booklet on my website, contact me by email. I can mail a copy of my booklet for a small donation to cover the cost of printing and mailing.

Related Posts:

Love From a Pure Heart

WHY SHOULD I FORGIVE

The Core Negative Heart Issue

POSTS Related to Relationships

POSTS on Thoughts

Victorious Thinking to Live a Successful Life

The girls in my county jail Bible study struggle to live successful lives.  Most of their problems and troubles result from their wrong thoughts.  The progression of thoughts to results are as follows.  What we think affects our emotions.  Our emotions control our behavior.  And, our behavior directs the events of our lives.

For example, destructive thinking is to think of things that offend you, which causes you to be angry, fearful, or sad. When you are fearful, angry, or sad, you will act out these emotions in aggressive or passive-aggressive ways. Passive-aggressive behavior varies, but can be silence, avoidance, harming yourself by cutting, using drugs, turning to alcohol, etc.   When you act on your negative emotions, then there will be strife in yourself and with others.  Strife destroys relationships in partnerships, jobs, churches, etc., which will often negatively affect your life and the lives of your family.  Review my post on the one thing that destroys relationships.

To be healthy emotionally, think positive and thankful thoughts.  When you think positive thoughts, then you will act or behave with kindness and grace.   Showing gratitude and grace will strengthen your relationships.   Showing grace is saying a kind word or forgiving someone when they may not deserve it.  See my post on A POWERFUL MOOD CHANGERThoughts That Create Peace Within and Without.

The first step to victorious, successful living is to be spiritually healed.  Spiritual healing begins by confessing we are sinners in need of a savior.  Then believing Jesus Christ is God the Son, who died and rose again, forgives our sins, and frees us from sins control (See Jn 1:29; 1 Jn 4:15; 1 Pet 1:18-19; Col 1:14; & Gal 5:1). When we confess this with our mouth and believe it with our heart, then God the Holy Spirit and His love, life, and light enter our hearts (See Gal 4:6 & 1 Cor 6:17). If you have not made this confession, then do it now to experience spiritual healing (See Rom 10:9-13 & Eph 2:1-10).  Next, practice the following actions to live a victorious and successful life.

1)  Live through Christ Jesus: See 1 John 4:9-12, 17; 2 Cor 13:4; Gal 2:20.  Live through Christ by doing the following actions.

  • Keep your mind on Him and transform your thinking: See Col 3:1-4; Is 26:3; James 1:21; Rom 12:2; Phil 4:8
  • Seek His help when you struggle with temptations and wrong thinking: See Heb 2:17-18; 4:15-16; 1 Cor 10:13
  • Abide (stay; dwell) with Him, and His words abide in you: See Jn 15:1-8; 1 John 2:24; Jam 1:21-25; 4:6-8; Matt 7:24-26
  • Forgive as He forgave (key to successful relationships): See Matt 6:12-15; 18:21-35; Col 3:13; Mark 11:25
  • Be humble as He is: See Phil. 2:3-11; Matthew 11:29; 1 Peter 5:5
  • Love as He Loved: See John 15:9-14; 1 Cor. 13:4-7; 16:14

2)  Rely on the Holy Spirit as your Helper:  See John 14:26 and John 15:26. To renew us See Titus 3:3-7 & 1 Cor 6:11. To put off your old life and put on a new life: See Eph 4:22-24; Col 3:5-15; 2 Cor 5:17

3)  Die to sin and be free from its control, then do what is right by setting your mind on the things of the Spirit:  See 1 Peter 2:24; Rom 6:10-14; 8:4-11; 1 John 1:7; 3:5-8, 14; Col 3:5-17, Eph 4:17-32; 5:8; 1 John 1:9; Hebrews 12:1-2; 1 Pet. 2:11; James 1:21; Gal 5:22-25. Deny your fleshly desires (sin/evil) and avoid the consequences:  See James 1:13-15; Gal 5:16-21; 6:7-8; 1 Cor 6:9-10; Rom 8:7-8, 13-14; Mark 7:20-23; Rev 21:8

4)  Pray continually: See Phil 4:6-7; Rom 12:12; 1 Thes 5:17 –Turn every wrong, sinful thought into a prayer of repentance and renewal immediately.  The longer we think wrong thoughts the further down the wrong path we will go (1 John 1:9; 3:21-24).

5)  Submit to God and stand firm against the enemy of your mind and your faith:  See James 4:7,8; Gal 5:1; Eph 6:10-17; 1 Peter 5:6-10; Heb 11:1, 6; 12:1-3; 1 John 5:4-5

6)  Persevere through trials; trusting God is at work, and put your hope in Him: See John 16:33; 1 Peter 1:6-9; 4:12-14, 19; Matt 6:33-34; 8:28; James 1:2-4, 12; 5:11; Heb 10:36-39; 12:5-7; Rom 5:2-4; 8:18; Lam 3:21-25; Is 30:18; Ps 62:5-8; 147:11; Luke 6:22; 2 Cor 4:17-18; 12:10

7)  Do the Will of God, found in the Word of God:  See James 1:21-25; 1 Peter 4:2; Matt 3:35; Rom 12:2; 1 Thes 4:3; 5:12-18; 1 Pet 2:15; 1 John 2:17; 5:14-15

There is hope for complete healing only in Jesus Christ and living a victorious life through Him.

Be Blessed or Be Cursed

How can we be a blessing to someone or be a curse to someone?  Do our words encourage or discourage?  Do you want to be blessed by God or be cursed by God?

Being blessed is being encouraged and made joyful with good things.  We are blessed when someone is kind to us or is patient and gives us grace when we screw up.  The Bible says we are blessed when we remain in the presence of God (see John 15).  We are also blessed when we trust and obey God.   We will be blessed even in our trials and distresses, because He is with us.  The word blessed occurs 306 times in the English Standard Version (ESV).

To be cursed is to be made miserable and destitute because of our own sin or the sin of other people.  So, what is sin?  The short answer, sin is disobedience to the truth and commands in the Bible (i.e., love others, be kind, patient, etc.).  We are also cursed when we do not trust and obey God and when we turn our hearts away from Him.  The word cursed occurs 74 times in the ESV.  Our words are the most common way we curse God and each other.  Read my post called: WORDS HAVE POWER—Part I: Overcoming The Destruction of Offensive Words

Meditate on and journal your answers for the following Scripture:

Jeremiah 17:5-8 states, “Thus says the LORD: ‘Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the LORD. 6) He is like a shrub in the desert and shall not see any good come. He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness, in an uninhabited salt land.’  7) ‘Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose trust is the LORD.  8) He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.‘”

??  How are we cursed when we trust in man and find strength in our flesh (verse 5)?

??  What happens when we turn our hearts away from the LORD (verse 6)?  Does your life feel like this?

??  What happens when we trust the LORD (verse 8)?  In what areas of your life can you trust God more?

Deuteronomy 28 also defines how we will be blessed or cursed if we choose to obey or not.

All these BLESSINGS will come upon you and accompany you
If you OBEY the LORD your God:

1. Your children will be blessed.
2. Your land and livestock will be productive (e.g., your life work will be successful.)
3. Your basket and your kneading trough will be blessed (e.g., you’ll have plenty to eat.)
4. You will be blessed when you come in and blessed when you go out.
5.  Your enemies will be defeated before you.  They will come at you from one direction but flee from you in seven.
6. The LORD will send a blessing on your barns (wealth) and on everything you put your hand to.
7. The LORD will establish you as his holy people…
8. The LORD will grant you abundant prosperity…
9. The LORD will open the heavens, the storehouse of his bounty, to send rain on your land in season and to bless all the work of your hands.
10. The LORD will make you the head, not the tail IF you pay attention to the commands of the LORD your God… you will always be at the top, never at the bottom.

Also, read the Beatitudes in Matthew chapter 5 and Luke chapter 6 to learn more on how to be blessed.

However, IF you do NOT obey the LORD your God…
ALL these CURSES will come upon you and overtake you.

1. Wherever you go, you will be cursed.
2. Your basket and your kneading trough will be cursed (e.g., you will not have enough to eat.)
3. Your children will be cursed.
4. Your land and livestock will be cursed (e.g., your life work will fail.)
5. You will be cursed when you come in and cursed when you go out.
6. The LORD will send on you curses, confusion and rebuke in everything you put your hand to until you are destroyed and come to sudden ruin because of the evil you have done in forsaking him. (2 Chronicles 12:14 states, “He did evil, for he did not set his heart to seek the LORD.”)
7. The LORD will plague you with diseases… with a wasting disease, with fever and inflammation, with scorching heat and drought, with blight and mildew…
8. The LORD will turn the rain of your country into dust and powder…
9. The LORD will cause you to be defeated before your enemies…
10. The LORD will afflict you with the boils of Egypt and with tumors, festering sores and the itch, from which you cannot be cured.
11. The LORD will afflict you with madness, blindness and confusion of mind.
12. You will be unsuccessful in everything you do…

There are 17 more curses listed in this passage. Would you not agree that it is better to obey God than disobey?  To know more about what evil is, please read the following post: EVIL—What is it and what is the remedy?

?? How do the verses in Jeremiah compare with these verses in Deuteronomy?

?? Are you experiencing any of the above curses? If you are, then seek God to show you the sin of disobedience that is blocking God’s blessings.

??  What changes do you need to make to be blessed?

To learn how you can live a blessed life read: Living a Victorious Life

Another type of curse that causes misery are word curses put on us by family members, teachers, and those who hate us.  We also put word curses on ourselves.  I became free from many curses, and I encourage you to read my short book on my website to know what word curses are and how you can become free too. Many times, we bring curses on ourselves when we do not trust and obey God. If you struggle to trust God, you may have false beliefs that prevent you from trusting God. I encourage you to read my short book to be free from these unhealthy beliefs. Go to Hopeforcompletehealing.com

?? Do you want to be blessed or cursed?

?? What do you need to do to be blessed?

Sick and Tired? Change Your Destiny! Be Free From the Infirmity Stronghold

Changing your destiny is as simple as changing your thinking. For example, were you ever told that your illness is all in your head?  Many illnesses can be healed by changing our thinking. Let me explain. When someone suffers from illnesses, they are said to be infirm. Infirmity is defined as weakness and frailness in our minds and bodies. Have you heard of  infirmaries, also called hospitals and medical facilities for those who are sick. When infirmity is chronic, then it is most likely a stronghold that we develop when we are told we are weak and prone to sicknesses and then we believe this, and it becomes a reality, our destiny.

Some people have the subconscious wrong belief that being sick gets them the attention they so desperately want, which was the case with several people I knew. One of the girls recognized it after going through my book called “Hope for Complete Healing.” The infirmity stronghold also protects the wrong thinking that you have weak genes; therefore, you may say, “I am going to get cancer because my grandmother had cancer,” or “I am going to get diabetes because my uncle has it,” or whatever. For example, my family’s generational history is plagued with mental illnesses, cancer, obesity, and joint problems; should I then believe that I too will have these same problems?

The following explanation of mental strongholds is a reminder for those who are just learning about them. Many examples are on my website. Mental strongholds are the mental fortresses that would look like castle walls if they had a physical form.  Bad memories build strongholds to protect us. But in fact, they keep us from experiencing life and love. Mental strongholds are usually built to protect an unhealthy belief or beliefs generated by bad experiences that we have often forgotten about but are in our subconscious and still control us. Visit my website for more details about the many unhealthy beliefs we can have. Authority seats are like thrones within fortified castles. A ruler builds a fortress to protect his or her interests and authority to rule. Our mental strongholds need to be torn down so they can stop controlling our reactions and decisions.

I have discovered that the stronghold of infirmity protects the authority seat of oppression, which holds many illnesses, distresses, diseases, sicknesses, etc. Oppression is a feeling of being weighed down or being physically or mentally distressed. When Jesus healed people, He often commanded the spirit that was oppressing the person to be gone, and then they were healed. Acts 10:38 states, “…how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and with power. He went about doing good and healing all who were oppressed by the devil, for God was with him. Also, see Matthew. 4:24; 8:16; 9:32; 12:22; 15:22; Mark 1:32; Luke 4:18; and John 10:21.

Often a person feels they have no responsibility for what happens to them because they feel they have no control. The unhealthy beliefs could be: “I am incapable of taking care of myself.” “It does not matter what I do or eat; I will have this illness because of my genetics.” “Cancer, diabetes, heart disease, arthritis all run in my family, and I have no control.” As I explained previously, our unhealthy beliefs control our decisions and behaviors and ultimately our destiny, so if we believe we have no control over what happens to us, then we will not believe we can be responsible and trust God to heal us. I know this firsthand because it was my life for many years until I changed my unhealthy beliefs and took responsibility for my physical and mental health.

God led me to read the book called God’s Way to Ultimate Health by Dr. George Malkmus.  I could not put the book down until I read it to the end.  In this book, I read a testimony about a woman who suffered for years with depression and was completely healed when she followed the principles in this book—I was sold.  I immediately began to follow the raw food diet principles in the book and was healed of many of my illnesses, including depression and endometriosis.  I was not, however, healed of degenerative joint disease, yet I refused to give in to the unhealthy belief that I could not be healed of that too

The truth is that when God created humans, He put them in a garden and said, “Every seed-bearing plant on the face of the earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it, they will be yours for food” (Gen. 1:29, NAS). Then after the flood in Gen. 9:3 God added to this diet and said, “Every moving thing that is alive shall be food for you; I give all to you, as I gave the green plant. Only you shall not eat flesh with its life (blood) (NAS). Satan may have put the lie into your mind that you don’t like vegetables, so you think, “I don’t like vegetables,” which then becomes a reality and you won’t eat the very food God created as good for man. Replace this unhealthy belief with the truth that you like vegetables because they are good for your body so you can be strong and healthy. The closer we eat to the way God instructed, and the closer the food looks to the way God created it, the healthier we will be. You may think that the overly processed food you are eating will not harm you, that is an unhealthy belief. Do not believe it. I understand that natural degeneration and suffering comes with aging because we live in a decaying world and our bodies are decaying.  But we can delay premature decay and mitigate many inevitable diseases if we take care of our bodies, which is the temple of God (see 1 Corinthians 3:16-17; 6:19-20).

Our health is a result of what we eat, so I kept on seeking God to help me overcome the degenerative joint disease issue. God led me to the book called Live Right for (4) Your Type by Peter J. D’Adamo, ND. In this book, I learned about how “lectins” in certain foods will cause degeneration. A lectin is a specialized protein in foods which have the potential to cause inflammation and cell damage and may initiate a cascade of immune and autoimmune events leading to cell death. (Sullivan, 2013) D’Adamo recommends that certain foods should be avoided by people with certain blood types. All blood types are to avoid wheat, corn, and pork because of the lectin reaction in everyone’s body. When I avoid all products containing these three food items, I have no problems with  back or joint pain. When I do eat foods with these ingredients, then I have a lot of pain and suffering until my body repairs the damaged cells.

I currently struggle with fibromyalgia, and I know that one day I will resolve this painful condition as well.  I do know that fibromyalgia is a physical reaction related to stress because when I pray about a stressful situation, my pain subsides.  A researcher told me that many who have been abused as children have the highest incidents of fibromyalgia diagnoses.  Read more about my life story here.  As I heal past physiological stress related to painful memories, my fibromyalgia has improved.  I came up with the following progression from thoughts to destiny, which is similar to other progressions.

Watch your thinking.
What you think creates feelings;
Feelings create beliefs (true or false);
Beliefs create behaviors (good or bad);
Behaviors create habits;
Habits create character;
Character creates destiny.
Change your destiny by changing your thinking.

Example of a wrong thought: I think I have no control over my bad health.  So, I feel sad and depressed.  My depression leads me to believe there is no hope.  Because I have no hope, I continue to eat a sugar-filled diet, which I know this behavior is bad for my health.  I become addicted to sugar. Because of my addiction to sugar, I become apathetic.  Apathy destroys my destiny for better health.

Example of a right thought: I think I can overcome my bad health.  So, I feel happy and optimistic.  I believe there is hope.  Because I have hope, I make the right lifestyle changes to improve my health.  I get into a regular exercise and healthy eating habit.  My good habits increase my optimism, and I see change.

If you see infirmity and oppression ruling your life, then go through the chapters on my website to understand the neuroscience factors of painful memories and how to change your brain’s reactions. Renew your thinking with the following truth statements.

TRUTH STATEMENTS

• God wants to give me health and healing. (Jer. 33:6)

• As I heal my negative heart issues, then my soul will prosper, and all will be well with me, and I will be in good health (3 John 1:2).

• When I fear the Lord and turn from evil, then I will experience healing of my body and refreshing of my bones (Prov. 3:7,8; Psalms 38:3; Mal. 4:2).

• By my faith in Jesus’ power to heal, I will be healed (Luke 7:7-10; Matt. 5:34; Matt. 8:13; Matt. 15:28).

• God wants to deliver me from evil spirit attachments and heal all my infirmities (Luke 8:2; Matt. 17:18; Matt. 8:16).

• By the wounds of Jesus, I have been healed (1 Peter. 2:24).

The above statements are passages from my book called Unseen Battles of Your Mind, which is in the editing stage; and therefore, is not to be recopied without my permission.