Tag: Forgiveness

Example of Suffering Well and God’s Response: Part 2 of Suffering Well

Have you ever thought about being molded by God?  Have you ever considered how the outcome of trials and sufferings mold us into vessels that God can use? Isaiah 64:8 states, “But now, O LORD, you are our Father; we are the clay, and You are our potter; we are all the work of Your hand.”  God uses experiences and imperfect people to shape us into vessels of honor.  For example, a potter kneads the clay to get the air pockets out.  He then forms the clay ball into a desired vessel by pinching it into the shape he wants. Next, he puts it into a hot kiln for many hours. In the same way, God uses trying circumstances and imperfect people to shape us and to make us more like Christ. No one will say they like suffering but when we keep our eyes on Jesus and trust Him, He will strongly support us.  Sometimes though, we cause our own suffering because of our own wrong choices, even so, God can still use it for good if we allow Him to.  For example, if you tell your boss off and you lose your job, well, that suffering could have been avoided.  Even so, God can mold you into a more patient person.

Rom 8:28, 29a states, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. 29) For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son,…”

One of my favorite stories on suffering well and God’s response is the story of Joseph in Genesis, chapters 37-50.  Joseph had an understanding of the eternal perspective of God’s plan and purpose.  I encourage you to read this whole story.  The following is a very short overview of his story and some reflective questions. As you read, imagine if you were him.

Joseph was the second youngest in a family of 12 sons.  His brothers were jealous of him because their father favored him.   His brothers dislike him even more when he told them about dreams he had and how they were bowing down to him.  After some time had past, his father sent him to check on his brothers in the fields. They desired to kill him but one of the brothers, who had compassion, convinced them to put him in a dry well instead.  He suggested this because he wanted to get him out later and send him away to safety. When a band of Egyptian traders came along, the other brothers sold him to be a slave.  

?? How do you think Joseph must have felt, not knowing what will happen to him or if he would ever see his family again?  How would you feel if you were him?

Joseph behaved well and accept his fate and God blessed him by causing everyone to give him favor.  His first owner made him head over his entire household.  In the meantime, his owner’s wife wanted Joseph to sleep with her.  But he refused because of his faith in, and fear of, God.  One day, she grabbed his coat as he fled and she then lied to her husband and said that Joseph tried to rape her.  As a result, his owner sent him to jail.  Once again, Joseph behaved well, even when suffering an injustice, so God gave him favor with the head jailer.  Then God provided an opportunity for Joseph to interpret the dreams for two of Pharaoh’s servants.  He then asked them to remember him to Pharaoh when they got out of prison so he could get out too.  But, the servants forgot Joseph.  

?? Did Joseph have the right to be bitter, resentful, and angry at his brothers or the servants who forgot him, or his master’s wife who lied? Would you have if you were Joseph?

?? Is there a situation in your life that you are bitter and resentful about? If you answered yes, then please visit my website, hopeforcompletehealing.com, to learn how to work through the issues that have caused you to be resentful.

One day, Pharaoh had a dream which no one could interpret. One of his servants remembered that Joseph had interpreted his dream in prison and told Pharaoh, who then sent for Joseph.  Joseph interpreted the dream which was about seven years of abundant crops followed by a seven-year famine. God caused Pharaoh to make Joseph second in command of Egypt to prepare for the seven years of famine. Now that is a promotion. During the famine, Joseph’s brothers come to Egypt to buy food for their families. They did not recognize Joseph, but he recognized them as they were bowing before him. Remember his dreams? Not only did Joseph give them food, but he also gave their money back, by putting it into the grain bags. He forgave them and blessed them.

?? Did Joseph have the right to be prideful and rub his success in his brother’s faces instead of blessing them? Would you have?

?? Is there someone who has humiliated, dishonored, or wronged you and you are still struggling with the painful memory and offense? Again, I encourage you to visit my website to help you overcome these painful memories.

Genesis 50:20 records Josephs confession to his brothers, “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.” What a fabulous attitude. I want to have that same attitude, how about you? Please read the rest of the story in Genesis to see how he saved his family and the nation of Israel.

?? How will the choices you make affect the outcome of your life or the lives of others?

The following is an example in the Apostle Peter’s life:

Luke 22:31-32 Jesus said, “Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you , that he might sift you like wheat, 32) but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.”

Remember, Jesus is also interceding for each of us (see Romans 8:34) that our faith does not fail. Therefore, one of the purposes of going through trials and sufferings is to encourage and strengthen others when they are in the same or similar trial. See my blog on “7 ways to suffer well.”

7 Ways to Suffer Well: (Part 1)

Why do we have to suffer?  Suffering is inevitable in this world. Having gone through much suffering myself, I can make seven suggestions for how to suffer well.

1.  Accept that suffering happens to everyone in the world, and we can’t control when, how, or what happens to us.  We can only control how we react to it, so acceptance is the first step to suffering well. The reason for suffering is because we live in an imperfect and unpredictable world with imperfect people. Often we cause our own suffering from the wrong choices we make.  Suffering can be called a trial, a tribulation, or an affliction.

1 Peter 4:12-14 states, “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery (painful; NIV) trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. 13) But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when His glory is revealed.” Also read Romans 8:17&18.

2. Allow suffering to strengthen you and to make you more compassionate. For instance, when you endure afflictions well, then you can support and comfort others going through the same affliction. My friends, who had been through similar difficulties, have supported, encouraged, and helped me. Their encouragement gave me strength to go through my troubles.  Now, I am able to comfort and support others who are going through similar difficulties.

3.  Don’t take it personally. Embrace suffering as a part of life.  Allow your difficulties to expose your character flaws, so you can remove them so the fruit of the spirit can grow.  Personality flaws are often the result of painful memories, which generate unhealthy beliefs, that then control your negative reactions.  My website, hopeforcompletehealing.com, explains how to discover, transform, and reprogram painful memories and unhealthy beliefs, so you can deal with difficulties in a healthy way.

4. Forgiving is the key to suffering well. Forgiving those who cause or have caused your suffering is the only way to keep your peace and joy. When you don’t forgive, then you become angry, bitter, and resentful because you are self-absorbed and focused on the injustice of the suffering. For example, I could have resented my ex-husband for allowing my son to go down the wrong path of drugs and alcohol but, I realize my son is responsible for the wrong choices he makes. I could have resented my son for making wrong choices, and bringing embarrassment and shame to the family but, I realize I am no one special and I am not alone. My point is not to take offense, because of another person’s weakness or sin. Be quick to forgive and practice the truths in the Word of God. Refer to my post on forgiveness WHY SHOULD I FORGIVE.

5. Turn your suffering over to God and allow Him to work in your life. Difficulties perfect you, strengthen your faith, and increases your ability to endure. Submit the outcome of the trial or difficulty to God and don’t lose His peace and joy. Remember, you cannot control what, when, or how difficulties happen, but you can control what you do when they come.

James 1:2-4 – “Count it all joy, when you meet trials of various kinds, 3) for you know that the testing of your faith produces1 steadfastness2 (endurance; patience). 4) And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect3 and complete4, lacking in nothing.” (ESV)

** 1) Produce means to bring forth; create; bear (as a plant bears fruit and seed); etc..

** 2) Steadfastness means firm, fixed, settled, or established. 2. Constant; not changing.

** 3) Perfect means complete in all respects; without defect.

** 4) Complete means lacking none of the parts; to make entire, thorough, or perfect

** 5) Endurance means the ability to last, continue, or remain b) ability to stand pain, distress, fatigue, etc.

** 6) Patience means the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, or irritation.

?? Why is it important to test our faith?

Testing your faith reveals what you really believe. Testing also strengthens and purifies your faith. Trials and suffering give you the opportunity to practice the truths in God’s Word, which strengthen your faith and transform your thinking, attitudes, and character.

Romans 5:2-4 states, “Through Him, we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3) Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4) and endurance produces character, and character produces hope,” (ESV)

6. Stay focused on the truths and promises of God’s Word and do what it says.  When you do this, then you avoid the depression that often accompanies suffering.  Grief is healthy, but depression is not. Depression is inner anger, caused by focusing on what you don’t want. Looking up and finding the rainbow, and maintaining a positive view, helps you suffer well. The Bible says to “be thankful in everything, pray without ceasing, and rejoice always” (1 Thes. 5:16-18). This sounds hard to do, but with God’s help, all things are possible.

Philippians 4:6-7 states, “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7) And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” And, 4:13 “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.”

7. Stay humble. Suffering will often lead to pride because we think we didn’t or don’t deserve it. So suffering well is to humbly seek God’s help and strength to endure and overcome. Remember, Satan also causes afflictions to draw us away from God; read the story of Job. Satan wants you to become angry and depressed, which is why you need to resist him and draw near to God.

James 4:6-8 states, “But he gives more grace. Therefore it states, ‘God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.’ 7) Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8) Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.”

None of us likes suffering, but it happens. What you do during times of suffering will either make you stronger or miserable; it is your choice to suffer well or not. Also, keep suffering in proper perspective. I often say, “This too shall pass.”

Romans 8:18 states, “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.”

2 Corinthians 4:17-18 states, “For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, 18) as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”

Read about how Joseph suffered well: Joseph, an Example of Suffering Well and God’s Response: Part 2 of Suffering Well

Anger Issues Protected by Pride and Judgmental Strongholds

The pride and judgmental strongholds in my life protected many issues of anger generated from the humiliation, shame, injustices, betrayals, disappointments, and rejections throughout my life.  If you are unfamiliar with what mental strongholds are and my castle illustration, please read the following post first; STRONGHOLDS PART I—What are they and how do they affect us?

The reason why we need to deal with this stronghold combination is so we can love as God loves. To love well, we need to eliminate the sins of anger, bitterness, resentment, hatred, judging, and pride.  These sins prevent God’s love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness (humility), faithfulness (trust), and self-control from flowing out of us to others.

People with this stronghold combination typically were either bullied or come from dysfunctional or abusive families/marriages.  I experienced all the above.  I found that disappointment and broken trust is the main force that generates the sin of pride and being judgmental. Broken trust comes from betrayal by those who you expected would love and protect you.  My pride issues were created by damaged self-worth and low self-esteem and are often revealed by over-sensitivity and over-reaction.   You can learn how to heal betrayal issues and repair your damaged self-worth by reading my short book on my website.

For example, as a teenager, I became hurt and offended when my younger sister demeaned me and put me down. I stored that hurt and offense in my heart, so every time I felt demeaned as an adult, I would explode with anger. When I asked God to show me why I was getting so angry, He revealed how my younger sister had offended me. I forgave my sister because I know she demeaned me because she was hurting too. I then confessed any sin on my part to God, which is very important for overcoming anger issues.  Our sin needs forgiving because it creates stress in our bodies, and they will re-establish the painful memory.  For instance, I confessed and asked for forgiveness of the sin of wanting to harm my sister and for demeaning and disgracing her in return.

The pride stronghold wall protects unhealthy beliefs such as—I am better than you. Don’t tell me I am wrong. Don’t tell me what to do but do what I want.  The pride wall protects the inner judgmental wall that protects unhealthy beliefs of—I have the right to determine if you are right, wrong, or insincere. I have the right to be angry, bitter, resentful, and hateful. I don’t trust you or value you. The judgmental stronghold wall then protects the anger seat of authority, which holds all our memories of hurts, disappointments, unmet needs and desires, offenses, soul wounds, bitterness, resentments, and hatred.  These memories produce unhealthy beliefs, which control our thoughts, and our thoughts dictate what we say and do.

Another reason why we need to destroy this stronghold combination is because God hates pride (Prov. 8:13; James 4:6), and anger does not achieve the righteousness of God, only peace and humility does (James 1:20; 3:18), which is why I wanted to be free.  We are also instructed to not be judgmental (Matthew 7:1).  I hope and pray that if you have this same issue that you too will find freedom, so you can love from a pure heart.  To learn how to be free from anger and this stronghold combination, please visit my website, you will be glad you did.  https://hopeforcompletehealing.com/

Anger issues are also entwined in the Impatience stronghold combination;  read the following post: Freedom from Impatience and Strongholds of Injustice and Unfairness

To begin reading my book, start here: 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

Related Posts:

Why, What, and How to Submit to God

Free from Anger–County Jail Testimony and Teaching

The Core Negative Heart Issue

WHY HEAL YOUR HEART AND PURIFY YOUR SOUL?

Five Steps to Heal Your Heart and Purify Your Soul

Bondage to Unseen Controls

HOW PRIDE DESTROYS

If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

WHY MUST YOU FORGIVE

1. Forgiveness frees you to experience love and joy.

Do you have love and joy in your life? If not, you have a hurtful memory controlling your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and actions. Forgiving is hard to do but with God’s help, you can do it.  When you don’t forgive, the negative feelings of the hurt keep you in bondage to the offense.  So, what does it mean to forgive? Dictionary.com says, forgiving is to cease to feel resentment against, and to grant a pardon to the person who hurt you.  Resentment is the feeling of displeasure or indignation at some act, remark, person, etc., regarded as causing injury or insult.  You know you need to forgive when you feel resentment. Resentment keeps you from loving others and feeling joy.

Each time you are tempted to take up an offense immediately forgive so that the offense does not get a hold of your mind and cause you to sin with your words and actions. When I don’t forgive an offense and begin to think about it, then I become angry, resentful, and then I sinned by being unkind and impatient. So, it is best to forgive right away. This does not replace setting up boundaries if someone is being destructive or bringing the offense to the other person’s attention. Most times the person who is being offensive does not realize it, because they may have subconscious offenses controlling their minds and choices.

2. Forgiveness protects you from the devil’s devices.

Another reason we need to forgive is to not give the devil an advantage in our life. In 2Corinthians 2:10, Paul tells Christians to forgive, then in verse 11 he explains why. 2Corinthians 2:11 states in the King James, “that no advantage may be gained over us by Satan: for we are not ignorant of his devices.” What are some of the devil’s devices? The devices of the devil are many, some are to

  • Keep you in bondage to your painful memories
  • Make accusations that are lies to amplify your pain
  • Cause you to hate instead of love
  • Tempt you to escape your pain through drugs, alcohol, sexual immorality, shopping, gaming, etc.
  • Isolate you away from the church and other Christian believers

In Shattering Your Strongholds, Liberty Savard advised: “not to replay your inner tapes of anger and guilt over painful memories, failures, humiliations, and the sins of others against you.” In prayer, forgive those who have hurt you in what they said, did not say, did, or did not do that caused you to become offended and resentful.  I had to forgive myself and seek God’s forgiveness for my sinful reactions and the stupid decisions I made, that I now regret. So, you may need to forgive yourself and seek God’s forgiveness too.  Next, verbally “put off” resentment and the power those painful memories have on your mind, feelings, beliefs, and actions. Then ask God to show you the false/unhealthy beliefs related to the painful memory, so you can put them off from your mind and heart.  Be thankful for something, rejoice in the Lord, and give the rest to God in prayer (1Theselonians 5:16-18).

3. Forgiveness heals your mind, emotions, and body.

Forgiveness is essential for healing because it releases us from the power of a wrongful action or offense. You could not control what happened to you, but you can stop it from continuing to control your thoughts and reactions. Forgiving someone does not excuse their wrong actions but sets us free to heal and love others as Jesus does.

Painful memories of offenses cause you to feel stress.  Stress causes the cells of your body to degenerate.  I can testify that many of my physical issues were healed when I forgave those who hurt me, both present and in the past. My book on my website explains this well. Read, 4-Physical Healing

I was healed of many painful memories that controlled my reaction to stressful situations. Read my transformation testimony and begin reading my book to learn how to heal your painful memories.  1-Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

4. The Biblical reason why you must forgive.

Perhaps the greatest demonstration of supernatural forgiveness in all of history is when Jesus prayed to His Father as He hung on the cross to pay the penalty for the sins of all of mankind, “Forgive them; for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). Ponder the following Scriptures on forgiveness, and if you need to repent of being unforgiving, then this is a very good time to do so. Matthew 6:14-15 states, “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, 15) but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Mark 11:25 states, “And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”  In Matthew 18:21-35, Jesus explains what happens when we do not forgive.  Verse 35 sums up his teaching, “So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”

Interestingly, Jeremiah also wrote under the inspiration of God the following in Jeremiah 31:34b; “For I [God] will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more.” Also, Hebrews 8:12 states, “For I [God] will be merciful toward their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more.”  Isaiah 43:25 and Hebrews 10:17 restate the same thing. If God can forget our sins when He forgives us, then we too can forget the sins of those who hurt us when we forgive. Furthermore, when we forgive the sins done against us, then those sins no longer can control our emotions and subsequently our behavior. If you struggle with forgiveness and you want to be free from the controlling power of the hurt in your heart and painful memories, then please read my short book called “Hope for Complete Healing” on my website: https://hopeforcompletehealing.com/

Quote from Colin Elmhurst

Remember that if you forgive with the waiting expectation that the other person will change or make reparative action – then you aren’t forgiving at all and you’re just using forgiveness as a pretense for control. When you really forgive, you have to be totally willing to let go of your right to keep a record of wrong – and that’s not easy to do.

All verses are from the English Standard Bible. If you find my posts and website helpful, please share this link with your friends and family; hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected. Please do not reproduce any part of the posts or my book without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom and this website.

Check out my latest book Breaking Mental Strongholds which you can order on Amazon. To learn more about it, read my post called Breaking Mental Strongholds Book. Also, check out Fighting Unseen Battles on Amazon. To learn more about this book, read: How to Fight Unseen Battles.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Life-changing Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. I will also send you the Lord’s Prayer Model to pray effectively. Please leave your name, so I know you are a real person making the request.