Thankfulness – Hope for Complete Healing

How to Develop Emotional Resilience

Are you naturally positive and happy from the time you were a child? If so, you have tremendous emotional resilience. Most people, however, are not emotionally resilient. You may think you don’t let hurtful people affect your thoughts, but they do. The phrase, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” is untrue. Words and actions are powerful.

So, what is emotional resilience? The article Why Emotional Resilience Is a Trait You Can Develop explains, “Those with a higher degree of emotional resilience can handle the stresses that come with daily life more effectively and calmly. They are also able to manage crises and mean people more easily.” In this post, you will learn how to develop emotional resilience in the face of most events involving disappointment, loss, and offense.

What Causes an Emotional Crisis?

Offenses, loss, and disappointments of varying degrees cause emotional crises. Some examples could be: Your parents didn’t get you something you wanted when you were a child. Guests arrive late, and your meal is ruined. Your pet dies. The store ran out of your favorite chocolate. You or your child fails an exam. You get a flat tire at night. You don’t get the promotion or job you want. A friend gossips about you. We face many disappointments, losses, and offenses throughout our lives, often daily. What is your natural reaction?

I can only speak for myself and what I have observed in others. Most people are disappointed by unmet expectations (stated or unstated) and become angry, frustrated, withdrawn, or depressed. When someone fails to meet your expectations, you may feel invalidated and not valued. Validation is the act of affirming a person or their ideas, feelings, actions, etc., as acceptable and worthy (Dictionary.com, 2025). Not feeling validated or valued creates a host of unhealthy beliefs about yourself that lead to shame and unloving behavior.

Some disappointments and offenses may never be resolved, and we need to accept them. For example, I never saw my father again after he left when I was 15 years old. It made me feel unvalued and insecure. I developed betrayal and abandonment issues and strongholds. Many years later, when I grieved that loss, forgave him, and asked God to heal the memory and release my resentment, then I had peace. Perhaps you were wronged by a friend or coworker or felt wronged. Often, people unintentionally offend us but do not mean to; they aren’t thinking and need grace.

Emotional Resilient Way to Handle Disappointment, Loss, and Offenses

Who would you rather be around? A grateful person or a constant complainer? Which are you? Focusing on what you can be thankful for creates positive emotions. The more you recount what you are disappointed or offended about, the more negative feelings and resentment you develop. Being thankful creates peace and joy.

What do you think when someone says you are overreacting? Do you get more emotional? To be emotionally resilient, you need to redirect your emotional response from the amygdala (the emotional brain center) to the prefrontal cortex (the logical, reasoning, and thinking brain center). I realize that the sooner I pray about the situation instead of stewing about it, the sooner I can control my emotions.

The first step is to recognize the progression of emotional reactions. Second, learn how to transfer the emotional response from the amygdala to the logical thinking prefrontal cortex. I initially designed this list to help me regulate my emotions better. Then, I further developed it to help a young boy who was very depressed and whose anger was off the charts. I shared this list in my county jail Bible study, which helped the girls understand how to control their anger and despairing thoughts.

Acknowledge your emotions. What are you feeling? Sad, angry, frustrated, depressed, etc. Has anyone asked you to identify your feelings using a list of faces? This is good for children. Helping children identify their emotions is the first step to teaching them to be emotionally resilient. Expressing your feelings helps you move out of the amygdala and the fight, flight, and freeze modes.
Identify the expectation that was not met. Now, you are thinking and not reacting.
Ask yourself if your expectation was unspoken, but you assumed the other person or people knew what you expected. Now, you are being logical.
If you stated your expectation, did the other person/people acknowledge or understand it, and did they agree to fulfill it? Now, you are reasoning.

Let’s say you expected the dishes to be washed and put away, and the kitchen to be clean when you got home, and you had made your expectations known. You come home after several hours, the dishes are not done, and the kitchen is not cleaned. What do you do? The following “Victory Plan” takes practice, which we get plenty of in this fallen world. Remember, everything you do is to be done in love (1 Cor. 16:14).

I want to add one more healthy practice to the Victory Plan: When you feel emotional about a situation, do not address the issue with the person at that moment. Do not send a text or email while you are emotional because you can’t take back your words. Romans 12:17-18 states, “Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. ¹⁸If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” The Apostle Paul gave this mandate to us, which seems impossible, but all things are possible with God (Matt 19:26). Continually praying will help you become emotionally healthy because as soon as you are disappointed or offended, you will give it to God before it turns into resentment.

VICTORY PLAN OVER ANGER, DEPRESSION, and ANXIETY

1. Acknowledge your disappointment. Ask, “What can I be thankful for?” Disappointment from unmet expectations can leave you feeling angry or sad, but you don’t want to ruin a relationship with your anger or silence. Recall the following truth: “I can rejoice always, pray without ceasing, and be thankful in everything for this is the will of God…” (1Thes.5:16-18). When I’m upset, I stop and ask myself what has disappointed me. I pray and surrender my hurt feelings to God, asking what I can be thankful for instead. You should talk to the person who disappointed you, so ask God to help you understand how you will manage the interaction with love. Next, I pray, “Lord, help me accept that things won’t always go as I expect. Take my disappointment. Please help me understand how to manage unmet expectations. I will be thankful for __.”

2. Capture unhealthy thoughts that lead to strong emotions. Ask, what am I thinking right now? Say to yourself, “I want to be controlled by love.” Remind yourself that love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful (1Cor. 13:4-5). Tell yourself that God will help me, I don’t have to be afraid (Heb. 13:6). Ask God how to manage the disappointment as He would. Then pray something like the following. “Lord, take my unhealthy thoughts of ___ and give me the right thoughts according to Your truth and will. Help me submit to Your standard of love and love others and value them as I love and value myself.

3. Admit your hurt feelings, such as not feeling validated or feeling unloved and rejected, and so on. Recognize you are offended and resentful. Forgive those who hurt you or who offended you. Pray for those who mistreat you (Matt 6:12 and 5:44). Be kind and tenderhearted. Forgive as Jesus has forgiven you (Eph. 4:32 & Col. 3:13). Acknowledge that you feel hurt, mad, or afraid because ___. Ask: Do I feel rejected? Unworthy? Unloved? Betrayed? Next, pray something like the following: Lord, I forgive _(person)_ for _(what they did or did not do)_. Take my hurt feelings and resentment from me. Thank You for filling me with Your love and acceptance, in Jesus’ name.

4. Identify wrong beliefs about yourself, others, or God from that disappointing situation. What do I believe about myself at this moment? What do I believe about the person or situation at this moment? Wrong beliefs control your emotions and actions, so identifying and replacing them with correct beliefs will help you transition from feeling emotions to thinking rationally. An incorrect or unhealthy belief is a lie about the true nature of reality, and we need to shine truth into our hearts to correct these lies. For example, if you believe you are not worthy of love, you believe in a lie. It is a faulty conclusion. Replace the unhealthy beliefs with these truths: I have worth, I am accepted and loved, I am complete in Christ, and I am a new creation (Col. 2:9-10; 2Cor. 5:17). I am valuable because I am made in the image of God; this makes me significant (Gen. 1:27). The person who offended me is valuable and worthy of being loved. Next, pray, Lord, remove the influence of evil spirits from my mind, which leads me to hold wrong beliefs. Remove these wrong beliefs from my mind and help me believe your truth about myself and others in Jesus’ name.

5. Confess sinful actions and hurtful behavior. The longer you think unhealthy thoughts, feel angry or sad, and believe lies about yourself and others, the greater the chance you will sin. Ask, “What did I do that hurt another person because of my unloving, out-of-control feelings?” What did I do that disobeyed God’s law of love, as defined in 1Corinthians 13:4-6?” King David said, “I confess my iniquity; I am sorry for my sins” (Psalm 38:18). The Apostle John said, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1John 1:9). Next, pray, Lord, forgive me for ___. Help me be self-controlled and love others by being at peace, kind, and patient with them, in the name of Jesus.

If you want a PDF of this Victory Plan, email me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, which helps you have a healthy mindset for healthy conflicts.

It is beneficial to journal about the things in your past, from your earliest memories of disappointment, resulting in resentments and false beliefs.
Go through this victory plan for each disappointing memory.
Be mindful to breathe deeply as you follow the victory plan and repeat the truth often.
Write down what happened, who was involved, who needs forgiveness, and how you reacted unlovingly. What unhealthy beliefs were created to reinforce wrong thinking?
To learn more about how to be free from past painful memories, read my online book at hopeforcompletehealing.com.

Check out each of my worksheets to uncover hurt feelings from disappointments and become free from their control over your thoughts and actions.

TRUST AND FAITHFULNESS Issues

MEEKNESS, HUMILITY, AND GENTLENESS Issues

SELF-CONTROL Issues

What is An Emotionally Healthy Person?

May God bless you richly as you seek His help to be completely healthy.

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All verses are from the English Standard Version. If you find my posts and website helpful, please share this link with your friends and family: hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected. Please do not reproduce any part of the posts or my book without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom and this website.

My latest book, Unlocking God’s Promises, explains 18 categories of relevant promises to each of our lives. It also includes the promises in Psalm 91.

If you find this website helpful, you would like to read Breaking Mental Strongholds, which expands on my website book and includes many of my posts.

Additionally, consider my book Fighting Unseen Battles, which describes the many unhealthy beliefs that control our lives and what the truths are. To learn more about this book, read the post How to Fight Unseen Battles.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Life-changing Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. I will also send you the Lord’s Prayer Model to pray effectively. Please leave your name, so I know you are a real person making the request.

What is An Emotionally Healthy Person?

How does a person’s mental health influence their emotional health? I never thought there was a relationship between mental health and emotional health until I began to heal my trauma memories. When my memories and resulting resentments were healed, my emotions changed. There is hope that your future can be different.

What you dwell on creates memories, either good or bad. The stronger the feelings, the stronger the memory connection. For example, think about your favorite vacation. Why was it your favorite vacation? What made that memory so strong? Strong feelings develop beliefs like “I had a great vacation because…”. Or, “I hated that vacation because…”.

For example, I hate going to the Outer Banks because of many traumatic memories from my negative perspective. How we feel is a matter of perspective. My husband loves going to the Outer Banks and didn’t understand why I was traumatized by it. I was anxious about so many things that my perspective was negative, which generated bad behavior. These negative beliefs caused me to stay home alone while my family vacationed at the Outer Banks. Being home alone was better than dealing with the trauma I felt going on that miserable vacation. Have you noticed that each family member has a different memory of the same event? Some family members are more traumatized by an event and have bad memories, which often affects their relationships in some way.

I also realized that my mental health improved when my spiritual health improved because the Bible verses I memorized changed how I processed disappointment from unmet expectations. The scripture that had the biggest effect on my mental and emotional health was 1Theselonians 5:16-18, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” So, when my expectations were not met, and I got angry, I would think, “What can I rejoice about?” Then, I would pray and give God the situation that made me angry or depressed. Next, I would think about what I can be thankful for in the situation. That discipline took me two years to master. By changing my thinking, I changed my feelings, which changed the beliefs that controlled my behavior. So, my relationships changed, and so did my future.

An emotionally healthy person does not allow a problem or disappointment to define who they are but sees themselves as separate from the problem. They can go to God with the disturbing issue and trust God to help them with it. An emotionally healthy person can self-regulate their emotions and have inner control. The following list is not an exhaustive list of what an emotionally healthy person is. As you read each one, count how many you struggle with.

Can love others without judgment.
Has a healthy self-worth and gives all shame and guilt to God.
Being able to regulate your emotions like sadness and joy.
Can give grace to messy people who frustrate them and are unaffected by their opinions.
Giving to people, not being selfish, and not expecting others to conform to their expectations.
Maintains hope in God despite life’s setbacks.
Take responsibility for their emotions and actions, and do not blame others.
Is not fearful but trusts God.
Identifies wrong beliefs and adopts God’s truth for their beliefs.
Is empathetic toward others.
Is comfortable being alone and being with people.

In the coming weeks, I will address many of these and how to identify the source of the negative feelings and traumatic memories. There is hope for complete healing. God bless you this week. Thank you for joining me today.

Are you Spiritually Healthy?

How Mentally Healthy Are You?

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My latest book, Unlocking God’s Promises, explains 18 categories of relevant promises to each of our lives. It also includes the promises in Psalm 91.

If you find this website helpful, you would like to read Breaking Mental Strongholds, which expands on my website book and includes many of my posts.

Week 26: Worship God by offering a spiritual sacrifice.

How do you offer your body as a spiritual sacrifice? Romans 12:1 states, “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.” Other versions begin this verse with “Therefore,” which means “in conclusion.” So, we need to look at the end of Romans 11. The Apostle Paul tells the believers in Romans 11:32-33; “For God has consigned [handed over] all to disobedience, that he may have mercy on all.” We may not understand why God delivers us over to disobedience, but verse 33 explains, “Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!”

We know that God is merciful, and we are disobedient because of the sinful nature we inherited. Mercy is not getting what we deserve. Now, Romans 12:1 makes sense; “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.” Verse 2 further explains how to be a living sacrifice, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

We must willingly sacrifice our sinful nature and, by God’s mercy, choose to renew our minds with the truth to know God’s will and then obey. For example, we naturally want to complain and be discontent. Being thankful is a spiritual sacrifice because we focus on being thankful instead of complaining (Ps. 50:23, 116:17; Phil 4:6; Col 4:2). It is our sinful nature to be self-centered and prideful, but being humble and giving honor to others by considering their interests is a spiritual sacrifice (Phil. 2:3-6). Forgiving others when they offend us is a spiritual sacrifice. What do you think?

Spiritual worship is focused on pleasing God by doing his will. Only He makes us holy and acceptable, so when we sacrifice our fleshly desires to obey God and serve Him, that is our living sacrifice and spiritual worship. Please leave a comment and share your thoughts about what it means to be a living sacrifice.

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WEEK 26 – June 25 – July 1

Day 176-June 25—Worship God for strongly supporting us, who are blameless toward Him.

For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to give strong support to those whose heart is blameless toward him. You have done foolishly in this, for from now on you will have wars.” –2 Chronicles 16:9

Day 177-June 26—Worship God who delights in the welfare of his servants.

Let those who delight in my righteousness shout for joy and be glad and say evermore, “Great is the LORD, who delights in the welfare of his servant!” – Psalm 35:27

Day 178-June 27—Worship God for His great love and faithfulness toward us.

Praise the LORD, all nations! Extol him, all peoples! For great is his steadfast love toward us, and the faithfulness of the LORD endures forever. Praise the LORD! – Psalm 117:1-2

Day 179-June 28—Worship God for answering our call for strength.

On the day I called, you answered me; my strength of soul you increased. – Psalm 138:3

Day 180-June 29—Worship God that He regards the lowly (humble).

All the kings of the earth shall give you thanks, O LORD, for they have heard the words of your mouth, and they shall sing of the ways of the LORD, for great is the glory of the LORD. ⁶For though the LORD is high, he regards the lowly, but the haughty he knows from afar. – Psalm 138:4-6

Day 181-June 30—Worship God that He will fulfill His purpose for you.

The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O LORD, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands. –Psalm 138:8

Day 182-July 1—Worship God that nothing is too hard for Him.

‘Ah, Lord GOD! It is you who have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you. – Jeremiah 32:17

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All verses are from the English Standard Bible. To review the previous weeks, go to the 365 Days of Worship Page. This material is copyright protected.

Week 19: Worship involves blessing.

Have you ever been blessed? Has anyone blessed you? One thing I know is how I feel blessed may not be how you feel blessed. What honors me may not honor you. I feel honored when someone does or says something kind to me. Or they acknowledge an accomplishment I did. Some people say that I am a blessing when I am helpful to them. Ask someone how you can bless them. Blessing someone shows honor.

So, what honors God? Is it adoring God as holy and glorifying Him for all his goodness, faithfulness, salvation, etc.? Or is He blessed by our obedience? Both are ways we can bless God. I also believe God is looking for sincere faith, repentance of sin, and humble adoration. 2Chronicals 16:9 states, “For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to give strong support to those whose heart is blameless toward him.”

Our focus passages this week are, “Sing to the LORD, bless his name; tell of his salvation from day to day. ³Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous works among all the peoples! ⁴For great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised; he is to be feared above all gods.” –Psalm 96:2-4 And Psalm 100:4 also tell us, “Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name!”

This Psalm passage tells us to sing to the Lord, bless His name, tell of His salvation from day to day, and give Him thanks. In the week 14 post, we discovered why worship is telling others about God’s amazing attributes and works. The week 15 post was worshiping with thanksgiving. And in week 16, we learned about worshiping by singing to the Lord. In this post, we will learn why we are to bless His name, which is explained in verse four; “For great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised; he is to be feared above all gods.”

King David tells us why we are to bless the Lord in Psalm 103:1-5. “Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name! 2) Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits,

• who forgives all your iniquity,

• who heals all your diseases,

• who redeems your life from the pit,

• who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,

• who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.”

Read my post about Psalm 103.

As you worship God this week, think of ways you can bless God with your words, actions, telling others, and obedience.

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WEEK 19 – May 7 -May 13

Day 127-May 7—Worship God for giving us His grace and eternal life.

So that, as sin reigned in death, grace also might reign through righteousness leading to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. –Romans 5:21

Day 128-May 8—Worship God because He dwells with us.

Sing and rejoice, O daughter of Zion, for behold, I come and I will dwell in your midst, declares the LORD. – Zechariah 2:10

Day 129-May 9—Worship God’s blessings.

And there you shall eat before the LORD your God, and you shall rejoice, you and your households, in all that you undertake, in which the LORD your God has blessed you. – Deuteronomy 12:7

Day 130-May 10—Worship God for all the good He has given you.

And you shall rejoice in all the good that the LORD your God has given to you and to your house. –Deuteronomy 26:11a

Day 131-May 11—Worship God for His righteousness and justice.

The LORD reigns, let the earth rejoice; let the many coastlands be glad! ² Clouds and thick darkness are all around him; righteousness and justice are the foundation of his throne. –Psalm 97:1-2

Day 132-May 12—Worship God for covering us with salvation and righteousness.

I will greatly rejoice in the LORD; my soul shall exult in my God, for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation; he has covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself like a priest with a beautiful headdress, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. –Isaiah 61:10

Day 133-May 13—Worship God for caring for His servants.

Therefore thus says the Lord GOD: “Behold, my servants shall eat, but you shall be hungry; behold, my servants shall drink, but you shall be thirsty; behold, my servants shall rejoice, but you shall be put to shame. – Isaiah 65:13

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All verses are from the English Standard Bible. To review the previous weeks, go to the 365 Days of Worship Page. This material is copyright protected.

How to Overcome Situational Depression.

Do you, or someone you know, suffer from depression? I am not an expert, but I do know that everyone experiences depression differently and for different reasons. So, what do I know about depression? I have a strong family history of depression. My great aunt had bipolar depression, which was very debilitating. My mother was depressed all the time because she could not cope with the disappointments in her life. My sisters and I were depressed because of the dysfunction of our home.

Unfortunately, all types of depression have a stigma linked to it, and many people do not want to admit they are depressed because they don’t want to be seen as weak or mentally ill. Often medication is necessary to increase the feel-good chemicals in our brains. But because of the stigma, they do not get the help they need. The worst way to cope with depression is by escaping through drinking alcohol, using drugs, shopping, excessively watching TV and movies, overeating, etc.

Biblical examples of depression.

King David was often depressed. For example, King David wrote in Psalm 31:10; “For my life is spent with sorrow, and my years with sighing; my strength fails because of my iniquity (sin), and my bones waste away.” Guilt from the wrong things we do causes depression. Repenting and asking for God’s forgiveness and forgiving yourself will help you overcome depression from guilt and shame. And, Psalms 42:5,11; “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.” Cast down means to grieve and be depressed. How David overcame his depression was to turn to God and hope in Him. God is our hope too, and He will lift us out of our depression when we turn to Him for strength and salvation.

In 2Corinthians 7:6 the Apostle Paul says, God is the comforter of the depressed, and He sent Titus to comfort Paul and his companions. Then Paul was put in prison, which would make me depressed. Many people visited him to encourage him. If you are depressed or are living with someone with depression, find someone who understands and is willing to pray with you and encourage you.

Depression is a normal reaction to loss, pain, or disappointment. We are disappointed by unmet expectations. Depression is not a sin, but it shows where your heart is hurting. The Prophet Jeremiah was known as the lamenting prophet because he was depressed by the coming loss and destruction of the nation of Judah, who refused to repent of their sins.

The Old Testament Patriarch, Job, was depressed for good reason. Satan kills all his children, causes his wealth and possessions to be taken from him, and caused boils to cover his body. He writes in Job 10:15; “If I am guilty, woe to me! If I am in the right, I cannot lift up my head, for I am filled with disgrace and look on my affliction.” Have you ever felt disgraced and your head hung down in sadness? Do the troubles you face cause you to be depressed? Psalm 121:1-3 explains how to overcome depression because of troubles; “I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth. He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber.” When I change my focus from my troubles to God and His promises, then I feel peace and joy again. You can read in http://Trust God to Keep His Promises how God helped me during my divorce and custody battle.

My life with depression and how I overcame it.

I discovered that not feeling valued as a child causes a stronghold of rejection to take hold of your mind. It keeps your focus on the negative events causing the rejection. I believe rejection leads to depression because we all want to be loved and valued. So, when this expectation is not met, I feel betrayed, angry, fearful, anxious, insecure, apathetic, or many times, pathetic. Is this something you have experienced? There is hope. I write in my book on this website about how to be free from the stronghold of rejection and many more strongholds. Begin reading with chapter one to understand the role our memories play in developing strongholds and depression. 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

My depression was the worst when I was married to my first-husband who abused me. I did not feel valued, accepted, or loved. Many of my friends said I needed to get on anti-depressants. But instead, I became a raw food vegetarian. What? My sister gave me a book called “God’s Way to Ultimate Health” by Dr. George Malkmus. The book was very compelling, but what sold me was the story of a woman who had severe depression and became free from depression by following the raw food vegetarian diet. My diet was terrible and I had a lot of other health problems, so I went all in. Within six months, I was healed of almost all my health problems, including depression and endometriosis. I found out that the hormones in the meat I was eating caused my endometriosis. I am not a raw-food vegetarian any more but 50-80% of my diet is consistently raw foods. I do eat organic meats a couple times a week.

I wonder if my depression was cured because I was no longer eating preserved junk foods and sugar products. Sugar affects the chemical balance in your brain and causes inflammation. To learn more, research how sugar affects the brain. Physical activity stimulates the release of dopamine, nor-epinephrine, and serotonin. These brain chemicals play an important part in regulating your mood.

Having a happy place helps with some types of depression because it is a distraction from the situation that is distressing you. Your happy place could be pictures, a pet, comedy shows, music, reading the Bible, etc. At the beginning of the quarantine, I got bantam chicks to help with my depression.

Another cure for depression is forgiving. For instance, I became depressed when my son would not make plans to visit with me when he came back for a wedding. Both my husband and I invited him and his wife several times for a visit, but they made up excuses. They stayed with her parents, who lived five minutes away. I let my thoughts go to every dark corner to gather up as much self-pity as my mind could find. I went to God and my happy places and could find peace or joy. Then I forgave him. Immediately the depression was gone. After calling him to see what he was up-to, I let him know how I felt (minus the self-pity) and that making time to visit would be nice. He and his wife did come over the next day before going back to their home state.

This last way to overcome depression is harder than forgiving, and that is being thankful. The Bible encourages us to always be thankful and to rejoice. I write about this in my post called http://A POWERFUL MOOD CHANGER, I encourage you to read it.

Conclusion:

Depression is different for each of us, but it often occurs when you focus on your hurt and loss. To overcome, change your focus by doing things that make you happy and finding things to be thankful for, like focusing on Jesus. Depression from the guilt of sin can be remedied by repentance and forgiveness. When you feel no hope, hope in the promises of God. Overcome depression from rejection by forgiving those who reject you and healing painful memories, which I describe how in my book. Correct depression from brain chemistry imbalance by eating a Mediterranean diet, eliminating sugar products, and exercising. But also consider an anti-depressant to correct the brain’s chemical imbalance, and that is okay. Because my depression is situational and short-term, I would take Saint Johns Wort and 5HTP to help me get through a difficult time. Whatever type of depression you have, there is hope to not let it keep you down in the pit and steal your joy.

If you know someone who is struggling, come alongside them and comfort them as Titus did for Paul. Also, learn the signs of suicide and be willing to intervene for the severely depressed person.

Please leave a comment, I would like to hear what your happy place is or how you overcome when you feel depressed.

Can You Be Too Heavenly Minded?

Thoughts That Create Peace Within and Without

WHY SHOULD I FORGIVE

WORDS HAVE POWER—PART II: Words produce death or life energy

Five Steps to Heal Your Heart and Purify Your Soul

The Link Between Disappointment, Resentment, and Self-control

Are Your Relationships Improving Your Well-Being?

Healthy Boundaries for Toxic Emotions and People

Pt. 1: Forsaken? Betrayed? How to trust again.

15 Promises We Can Trust God to Keep

HOPE: How it Motivates and Inspires BUT God’s Sovereignty…

Pt. 2: Why You Can and Cannot Trust God?

If you find my posts and website helpful, please send a link to your friends and family. Hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and may not be reproduced without permission from Joyce Hanscom. You can contact me by emailing hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com. P.S., seeing lasting change your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

What is Wrong with Fairness?

Let’s face it, everyone wants fairness. So what is fair? Fair is when you are free from bias. Bias is a feeling or opinion that is preconceived and may be unreasonable. The problem with fairness is what I think is fair may not be fair to you. Everyone perceives fairness according to their bias. A bias to abolish or defund the police is an example of an unreasonable opinion. How is it fair for those who want protection from criminals; to live in peace and not in fear? This is just one example.

Life is not fair.

When you were a child, how often did you say, “that is not fair,” and your parents said, “life is not fair”? What you think is fair may not be what someone else thinks is fair. Why is this? The reason; each of us has a bias and different expectations. I may expect my husband to dust the bedroom because it is fair that he helps out. He thinks it is not fair because he thinks it is my job. Does he have a bias that women do the housework? Why? Where do biases come from? The scenarios are endless. You can never get rid of biases. I had to go through bias training at work to help us be aware of our bias so we do not let bias control our decisions. Is this even possible?

How fairness issues affect your beliefs.

I have an unreasonable desire for fairness. For example, when I think I am doing more work than someone else, I become resentful because I believe the workload should be shared equally. The problem with this unhealthy belief or expectation is whose perception of equal is right? However, it is not unreasonable to expect other people to help out with the workload and to share the responsibility.

I am guilty of sin because I am to serve, not be served. Mark 10:45 states, “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” And Philippians 2:3-7, which states,

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant (important) than yourselves. 4) Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others. 5) Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.”

The sin of pride is the reason I don’t want to serve and consider other people’s interests because I believe my interests are more important. To overcome this wrong belief, I must first repent (crucify my pridefulness) by asking God to take the spirit of pride and the unrealistic expectation for fairness from my mind. I also, need to loose/put off the false beliefs that everything has to be fair, and my interests are more important. Next, I ask God to heal the painful memories of perceived unfair actions done against me and the offenses I harbored in my heart. Read my short book on how to heal painful memories: 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

Then, I ask God to forgive me for complaining and saying hurtful things. I apologized for my self-centered, critical attitude, and I forgave the other person for their unkind reactions. Forgiveness is a key step in healing our wounded spirit. Now, I must transform my wrong thinking with the truth of God’s Word and be thankful. Being thankful changes a resentful attitude to a winning attitude. Read my post called A POWERFUL MOOD CHANGER.

Exchange bias with truth and obey God’s instructions.

I transformed my unhealthy expectation for fairness with the truth that I am to be a servant as Jesus Christ was and consider the interests of others as more significant. Not that my interests are not significant, but I need to think less of myself and love others with agape love. Agape love is a self-sacrificial love that expects nothing in return and frees you from the bondage of fairness. Christ’s love for us is a sacrificial love. I bind/put on the truth that I will receive a reward from God for the good I do (see Galatians 6:9; Ephesians 6:8; Colossians 1:10; Titus 2:14; 3:8; Hebrews 13:16; and 1 Peter 3:16.) Read my last two posts on goodness: Part 1: How to Achieve Genuine Goodness? and Part 2: How to Overcome Evil with Good.

You cannot stop your bias thoughts by will power. But you can, by prayer, verbally take authority and loose/put off every deceptive or biased thought and replace them with truthful thoughts from God’s Word. Discipline your mind to think thoughts that are true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and worthy of praise (see Philippians 4:8). Memorizing Scripture is an effective way to put truth into your mind. Last, practice the truth by doing the instructions of God until they become part of your natural reaction that changes your bias for pleasing yourself to serving others with love. Galatians 5:13 states, “For you were called to freedom. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.”

Do you have a bent toward fairness?

Do you serve others and expect nothing in return?

How can you serve with agape love and put aside your own interests?

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How to Experience a Heavenly Life on Earth.

Living a heavenly life sounds too good to be true, but you can, and I will show you how. Because I care about you, I will explain how to experience a life of flourishing growth through righteousness, peace, and joy. Romans 14:6 states, “For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.” Please join me in my journey of experiencing the kingdom of God at this present time. This does not mean you won’t have hardships, but you will experience a heavenly life that raises you above the hardships. Does this sound good to you? The key that opens the door to heavenly living is your attitude. An attitude of rejoicing always, praying without ceasing, and being thankful for everything (1Theselonians 5:16-18).

Experiencing the Kingdom of God in this present age can only happen when you submit everything into God’s care first. Many who call themselves Christians are not submitted to God and are spiritually dead because they do not have righteousness, peace, and joy. Have you been around a “Christian” who is dishonest, angry or depressed, and an ungrateful, sour person? What I describe are signs of spiritual death. I was that kind of Christian for many years until I discovered how to heal the painful memories of hurt and offenses to have peace and joy. Read my short book on my website to learn how to heal painful memories so you can live the heavenly life to the fullest on earth. 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

In the last post, you learned how the Spirit gives life. In this post, you will learn what the role of righteousness, peace, and joy are in the life-giving process. Our text is Romans 8:10, which states, “But if (the Spirit of) Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness.” Read my last two posts for context: HOW TO BE IN CONTROL OF LIFE and How does the Spirit give life?

Where did spiritual death through sin come from and what is life through righteousness?

Romans 5:17 states, “For if, because of one man’s trespass (Adam’s disobedience), death reigned through that one man, much more will those who receive the abundance of grace and the free gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man Jesus Christ.” So, through the Spirit, you can put to death the deeds of the body and let righteousness rule your spirit and live the heavenly life. Just as eternal life is a gift from God (see Ephesians 2:8 and Romans 6:23) so righteousness is a gift. The following verses verify the correlation between life and righteousness.

Psalm 119:40 states, “Behold, I long for your precepts (direction for moral conduct); in your righteousness give me life!”

Proverb 12:28 states, “In the path of righteousness is life, and in its pathway, there is no death.”

Romans 6:13 states, “Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness.”

In these verses, you learn that righteousness is the reason the Spirit is life. So, what is righteousness? According to dictionary.com righteousness is the quality or state of being righteous and righteous means acting in an upright, moral way (knowing right from wrong); virtuous. So, what do we have to do? 2Timothy 2:22 tells us, “So flee youthful passions (selfish thinking) and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.”

How do you pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace?

You pursue righteousness by putting your faith in Jesus Christ’s ability to help you do what is right because He is your righteousness (see Romans 1:17; 3:22). Pursue faith by reading God’s Word and memorizing Scripture (see Romans 10:17). Become more loving by putting off pride and forgiving those who sin against you (see Matthew 6:12-14 and 1Corinthians 13:4-7). Increase in peace by giving all your problems to God, trusting Him, and be thankful (Philippians 4:6,7). If possible, you are to live peaceably with everyone (see Romans 12:18 and Hebrews 12:14). Your heart becomes pure when you purify your soul from fleshly sins and obey the truth in God’s Word, then you can love one another (see 1Peter 1:22).

The evidence of righteousness is holiness and peace.

When you purify your soul, you become holy as explained in 2Corinthians 7:1. “Since we have these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from every defilement of body and spirit, bringing holiness to completion in the fear of God.” The fear of God is reverent awe and a desire to please Him, knowing He disciplines us. Hebrews 12:9-11 states, “Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? 10) For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. 11) For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it”. And, Isaiah 5:16b explains, “the Holy God shows himself holy in righteousness.”

Isaiah 32:17 also tells us, “And the effect of righteousness will be peace and the result of righteousness, quietness and trust forever.” Do you think peace and quietness are better than the turmoil resulting from setting your mind on your selfish desires and sinful behavior? Do you have peace and quietness in your life right now? Isaiah gives us a clue as to why you may not have peace. Isaiah 48:18 states, “Oh that you had paid attention (listened) to my commandments (instructions)! Then your peace would have been like a river, and your righteousness like the waves of the sea;” When we obey God and do what He instructs us to do, then we will have righteousness and peace. This is living a heavenly life.

To increase your righteousness and know abundant life, you must make peace with others. James 3:18 states, “And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.” Making peace with others can be difficult. Romans 12:17 & 18 explains, “Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable (upright, moral) in the sight of all. 18) If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” And, Hebrews 12:14 encourages us to, “Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord.” Peace and holiness are essential pursuits if you want to experience the heavenly life and see the Lord in eternity. If you have a problem being at peace, work through the instructions in my book to remove past offenses that keep you from living in peace and joy.

For example, someone was throwing trash in my yard as they drove up a private dirt road that runs along my property and in my front yard along the main road. I was losing my peace over it and through a process of elimination I figured out who it could have been. I began to roil inside. Then I thought, wait a minute, I am no longer living above my problems. So, I captured my thoughts and turned them into a prayer and began to rejoice in God’s goodness and mercy and thanked him for blessing me. I had just memorized Romans 12:17&18, so I thought about how I can bless the person throwing trash in my yard. I came home that very evening from work and my side yard along the dirt road was all cleaned up and no trash has been thrown in since. Praise the Lord. Do you see how living the heavenly life of righteousness, peace, and joy is better than revenge, worry, and anger?

There is hope for complete spiritual healing as you pursue righteousness, peace, and joy with the help of the Spirit and live a heavenly life above all hardships.

If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the link to my post and website with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

A POWERFUL MOOD CHANGER

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Why, What, and How to Submit to God and be FREE

Victorious Thinking to Live a Successful Life

Thoughts That Create Peace Within and Without

Being Thankful During Hardships