Chat – Page 29 – Hope for Complete Healing

Pt. 1: Forsaken? Betrayed? How to Trust Again.

Have you been betrayed by someone you thought you could trust? Have you experienced being forsaken by someone you love? I have. God is the only one who will always be faithful and loyal to you, then your dog and maybe UPS delivery would be next.

I am offended by those who disregarded me, so how can I trust again? You are disregarded when you are ignored, neglected, and not treated with respect. I will share later how to take those thoughts captive, so you are no longer controlled by the offenses. Each offense is like a brick in a wall. You build the wall with one offense after another to protect your heart from being hurt and disappointed again. The wall also keeps you from experiencing the benefits of trusting and loving other people. When you don’t trust you will live in fear that something bad will happen to you. Fear erodes your relationships. So, in this post, I will explain how to tear down your wall, one offense at a time so you can live in freedom and have peace and joy. See my last post for an explanation of how to have peace and joy all the time in your life. How to experience a heavenly life on earth.

For example, I trusted my father to love and cherish me, but he abused me then forsook me at 15 when he left and never contacted me again. I trusted my mother to nurture and affirm me, but she was angry and dismissive. I trusted my sisters to have my back and support me, but they were angry, violent, and self-centered. I trusted my friends at school to be loyal and encouraging, but they humiliated me. I trusted teachers and church leaders to protect me, but they looked the other way. I trusted my first husband to love and protect me, but he abused me instead. Everyone has a story of betrayal and why they can’t trust. Maybe a spouse had an affair. A co-worker lied and gossiped about you. A boss or supervisor harassed you and did not like you. The painful memories of being forsaken control how you respond to those around you today. Because of the antitrust wall around my heart, I could not give warmth and love to my family and friends.

Every human will fail you at one point or another because we all are sinners who fall short. You will fail someone who trusted you. Maybe you can’t be trusted because of the things you have done to hurt those around you. You may not have been faithful to protect the ones you were supposed to love. God wants to make you whole and trustworthy again. I will explain how to have hope for the restoration of your relationships. But first, you must STOP discounting yourself by reducing your value and thinking you don’t deserve better. You are valuable to God, and He wants to restore you and prosper you (Jeremiah 29:11, Psalm 139:17-18).

Do you have unrealistic expectations of the people in your life? Maybe you have unstated expectations, and you think they should know, so you wonder why they let you down. You may have specified your expectations, but the other person has not agreed to do what you expect. Unmet expectations lead to frustration, anger, and feeling disregarded, which then create painful memories. You then believe the person cannot be trusted, so you close your heart to them and everyone else. Is this something you can relate to? Read my short book to learn how to heal these painful memories: 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

Trust issues affect every living soul, and the painful memories need to be healed for the fruit of trust and faithfulness to grow in your life through the Holy Spirit. Only God can heal your heart and memories, so first, ask God to remove your pride and any deceptive spirits from you. I ask God to remove my pride because it always justifies why I shouldn’t trust and why I should be offended. Then, I ask God to remove deceptive spirits because they will convince you that you don’t have a problem and it is no big deal. Next, ask God to show you if you have the following unhealthy beliefs or something similar:

I cannot trust; no one can be trusted
I am awful; I have done awful things and thought awful thoughts. I can’t trust in anything except the coming punishment that I deserve.
I don’t know what it means to feel trust and probably never will.
I can’t trust anyone after what I have experienced, after what I have done, and after what I have seen.
If I trust that things will work out and get better, then the coming pain is just that much more upsetting.
I trust what I have in my own hands, in my bank account, what I own, and what I control.
It is better to realize that everyone is out for himself, including me.
I am trustworthy. The only time I do bad things is when it’s justified.

Write down the unhealthy beliefs you have relating to your trust issues. They may be some of the ones above or they may be different. Next, ask God to show you the painful memory or memories that created the unhealthy belief. Identify the vows you have made. For example, I vowed to never trust a man because they are self-centered. But, guess what, I was self-centered too. Go through the following prayer model to remove the offenses and the related unhealthy beliefs/vows.

Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal the contributors for each issue (problem, concern) such as the painful memory or memories of painful experiences or sin.

- Painful experiences could be from a trauma, a word curse, unmet expectations, betrayal, poor choices, or rejection.
- You may get an answer right away or you may have to wait a few days.
- Be conscious of the quiet voice of the Holy Spirit speaking within your soul.
- All painful memories have a negative stress-energy that needs to be removed from your mind and cells of your body.
- Sin has negative spirit attachments that need to be removed by putting them off in Jesus’ name (see John 14:13 and 16:24).
- Sin is anything you do that is not loving and valuing others or loving God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength.

Forgive those who sinned against you including yourself if necessary (see Matthew 6:14:15, Colossians 3:13, and Ephesians 4:32). WHY SHOULD I FORGIVE

- The first step in trusting others is forgiving those who broke your trust because we are all sinners in need of a savior and forgiveness.
- When you forgive, it breaks the power the offense has on your mind.
- Do not dwell on the painful memories but be quick to forgive, though you may need to grieve a loss, which is healing.
- Forgiveness releases you from the emotional control of the painful memories contributing to the issue needing healing.
- If you have a hard time forgiving, ask God to give you His grace to forgive others for their sins against you as He has forgiven your sins (see Matthew 6:12-15).

PRAY: “Dear Lord, I forgive (name of the person or persons) for causing the pain of __________.”

Replace unhealthy beliefs with truth.

- Write down the lies or unhealthy beliefs the Holy Spirit reveals that are associated with the heart issue needing transforming by the truth.
- Next, write the truths to replace the unhealthy beliefs.
- For example, you may believe, “I don’t know what it means to feel trust and probably never will.” Replace this lie with this truth, “I can trust those who are trustworthy but understand they could let me down. I know I can trust God and He will help me to forgive and be patient with those who let me down including myself.”
- To understand how to use your authority in prayer read; Four Reasons for Authority in Prayer

PRAY: “Dear Lord, I loose the unhealthy belief of __________, and bind in the truth that ________, in Jesus’ name.”

Repent of sins.

- List the sins you committed because of your wrong thinking and unhealthy beliefs and decisions related to the issue needing healing.
- Confess them to God and ask His forgiveness and to take all your guilt and resentment away (see 1 John 1:9) in Jesus’ name.

Last, write out a thank you to God for something He did to protect, provide for, or comfort you. For painful memories to heal, they need to be replaced by a positive memory.

There is hope for complete healing of trust as you tear down the wall around your heart by taking each brick of offense out of the wall. Choose to love others well knowing they are hurting people with walls and may choose to reject you. Jesus was rejected and still is.

Healthy Boundaries for Toxic Emotions and People

Being Thankful During Hardships

Relationship and World Changing Kindness

The Core Negative Heart Issue

WHY HEAL YOUR HEART AND PURIFY YOUR SOUL?

ALL THOUGHTS ARE WITHIN OUR CONTROL

HOW MEMORIES INFLUENCE OUR THINKING, EMOTIONS, AND BEHAVIOR

Hope for Lasting Peace, Love, and Victory

If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the link to my post and website with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

How to Experience a Heavenly Life on Earth.

Living a heavenly life sounds too good to be true, but you can, and I will show you how. Because I care about you, I will explain how to experience a life of flourishing growth through righteousness, peace, and joy. Romans 14:6 states, “For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.” Please join me in my journey of experiencing the kingdom of God at this present time. This does not mean you won’t have hardships, but you will experience a heavenly life that raises you above the hardships. Does this sound good to you? The key that opens the door to heavenly living is your attitude. An attitude of rejoicing always, praying without ceasing, and being thankful for everything (1Thessalonians 5:16-18).

Experiencing the Kingdom of God in this present age can only happen when you submit everything into God’s care first. Many who think they are Christians are not submitted to God and are spiritually dead because they do not have righteousness, peace, and joy. Have you been around a “Christian” who is dishonest, angry, or depressed, and an ungrateful, sour person? What I describe are signs of spiritual death. I was that kind of Christian for many years, until I discovered how to heal the painful memories of hurt and offenses to have peace and joy. Read my short book on my website to learn how to heal painful memories so you can live the heavenly life to the fullest on earth. 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

In the last post, you learned how the Spirit gives life. In this post, you will learn what the roles of righteousness, peace, and joy are in the life-giving process. Our text is Romans 8:10, which states, “But if (the Spirit of) Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness.” Read my last two posts for context: HOW TO BE IN CONTROL OF LIFE and How does the Spirit give life?

Where did spiritual death through sin come from, and what is life through righteousness?

Romans 5:17 states, “For if, because of one man’s trespass (Adam’s disobedience), death reigned through that one man, much more will those who receive the abundance of grace and the free gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man Jesus Christ.” So, through the Spirit, you can put to death the deeds of the body and let righteousness rule your spirit and live the heavenly life. Just as eternal life is a gift from God (see Ephesians 2:8 and Romans 6:23), so righteousness is a gift. The following verses verify the correlation between life and righteousness.

Psalm 119:40 states, “Behold, I long for your precepts (direction for moral conduct); in your righteousness give me life!”

Proverb 12:28 states, “In the path of righteousness is life, and in its pathway, there is no death.”

Romans 6:13 states, “Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness.”

In these verses, you learn that righteousness is the reason the Spirit is life. So, what is righteousness? According to dictionary.com, righteousness is the quality or state of being righteous, and righteous means acting in an upright, moral way (knowing right from wrong); virtuous. So, what do we have to do? 2Timothy 2:22 tells us, “So flee youthful passions (selfish thinking) and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.”

How do you pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace?

You pursue righteousness by putting your faith in Jesus Christ’s ability to help you do what is right because He is your righteousness (Romans 1:17; 3:22). Pursue faith by reading God’s Word and memorizing Scripture (Romans 10:17). Become more loving by putting off pride and forgiving those who sin against you (Matthew 6:12-14 and 1Corinthians 13:4-7). Increase in peace by giving all your problems to God, trusting Him, and being thankful (Philippians 4:6-7). If possible, you are to live peaceably with everyone (see Romans 12:18 and Hebrews 12:14). Your heart becomes pure when you purify your soul from fleshly sins and obey the truth in God’s Word, then you can love one another (1Peter 1:22).

The evidence of righteousness is holiness and peace.

When you purify your soul, you become holy, as explained in 2Corinthians 7:1. “Since we have these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from every defilement of body and spirit, bringing holiness to completion in the fear of God.” The fear of God is reverent awe and a desire to please Him, knowing He disciplines us. Hebrews 12:9-11 states, “Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? 10) For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. 11) For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” And, Isaiah 5:16b explains, “The Holy God shows himself holy in righteousness.”

Isaiah 32:17 also tells us, “And the effect of righteousness will be peace and the result of righteousness, quietness and trust forever.” Do you think peace and quietness are better than the turmoil resulting from setting your mind on your selfish desires and sinful behavior? Do you have peace and quietness in your life right now? Isaiah gives us a clue as to why you may not have peace. Isaiah 48:18 states, “Oh that you had paid attention (listened) to my commandments (instructions)! Then your peace would have been like a river, and your righteousness like the waves of the sea;” When we obey God and do what He instructs us to do, then we will have righteousness and peace. This is living a heavenly life.

To increase your righteousness and know an abundant life, you must make peace with others. James 3:18 states, “And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.” Making peace with others can be difficult. Romans 12:17 & 18 explains, “Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable (upright, moral) in the sight of all. 18) If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” And, Hebrews 12:14 encourages us to, “Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord.” Peace and holiness are essential pursuits if you want to experience the heavenly life and see the Lord in eternity. If you have a problem being at peace, work through the instructions in my book to remove past offenses that keep you from living in peace and joy.

For example, someone was throwing trash in my yard as they drove up a private dirt road that runs along my property, and in my front yard along the main road. I was losing my peace over it, and through a process of elimination, I figured out who it could have been. I began to roil inside. Then I thought, wait a minute, I am no longer living above my problems. So, I captured my thoughts and turned them into a prayer, and began to rejoice in God’s goodness and mercy and thanked him for blessing me.

I had just memorized Romans 12:17-18, so I thought about how I could bless the person throwing trash in my yard. I came home that very evening from work, and my side yard along the dirt road was all cleaned up, with no trash thrown in since. Praise the Lord. Do you see how living the heavenly life of righteousness, peace, and joy is better than revenge, worry, and anger?

There is hope for complete spiritual healing as you pursue righteousness, peace, and joy with the help of the Spirit and live a heavenly life above all hardships.

P.S.: Experiencing lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

A POWERFUL MOOD CHANGER

Can You Be Too Heavenly Minded?

Why, What, and How to Submit to God and be FREE

Victorious Thinking to Live a Successful Life

Thoughts That Create Peace Within and Without

Being Thankful During Hardships

How The Spirit Gives Life.

You might think anyone can see I am alive and not dead, so why do I need the Spirit of God to give me life? The simple answer; a person has two states, a physical state, and a spiritual state, the physical state will die, but the spiritual state will live for eternity, whether in heaven or hell. The complex answer; a person’s state of mind and soul determines if death or life defines their existence on earth. Romans 8:10 states, “But if (the Spirit of) Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness.” I will unpack the truth of how righteousness is life in the next post.

In the last blog post, you learned how you are dead because of sin and how to set your mind on the Spirit and live. Romans 8:6 tells us, “For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.” This post will attempt to explain how the Spirit gives life. Please review my last post for context: HOW TO BE IN CONTROL OF LIFE.

How does the Spirit give me life and peace when I set my mind on Him?

First, understand the mind determines what you think, perceive, feel, and believe, which then influences your decisions and behaviors. Second, the Spirit is part of the trinity which includes Jesus, the son of God, and the Father. Trinity defines the eternal God who always existed and created people to be in a relationship with Him. The all-powerful, all-knowing, eternal, holy God of justice, love, peace, mercy, and grace wants to live in you through His Spirit. Romans 8:11 explains, “If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.” You may think, I am alive without God, but in fact, you do not know what life is until you have His Spirit.

For example, you are a spirit being in a physical body, living in a physical world controlled by a Spirit World (see 1Corinthians 2:11, 14; Ephesians 2:2; 6:12; and Job 1). If this is confusing, read my blog post on Four Realities of the Spirit World. As a spirit being you have a soul. Sin contaminates your soul and separates your spirit from God, which I explain in the last post, so I won’t elaborate here. The soul is said to contain your sense of morality and conscience and is credited with the functions of thinking and willing. Your mind and soul are connected, so where you set your mind will determine what state your soul is in; death or life.

For example, when I was in sin, though I professed to be a Christian, I was very depressed and felt no hope. When I submitted my dead spirit and depressed heart to God, I felt hope and a sense of strength. I began to flourish in my spirit with joy and peace. Jesus tells us in John 10:10, “The thief (Satan) comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” As cancer destroys the body and causes death so yielding to the devil and giving into his temptations to sin destroys your soul and causes death (see 1Peter 2:11; James 4:7). The Holy Spirit of God gives life to your soul when you submit to Him and abide in His life-giving words in the Bible. Read John 15 for a fuller explanation.

So, the mind set on the Spirit believes God’s Word is the absolute truth and internalizes these truths. But, for the Spirit of God to dwell in you, you must believe and confess that Jesus is God the Son, who died to pay the debt for sin and rose from the dead and ascended into heaven. And, He forgives your sins and frees you from sins control (see John 1:29; 1 John 4:15; 1 Peter 1:18-19; Colossians 1:14; & Galatians 5:1). When you confess this with your mouth and believe with your heart, then God the Holy Spirit comes into your heart and fills you with love, life, and light (see Galatians 4:6; Ephesians 3:17; 1Corinthians 6:17; John 12:46). So, if you have not made this confession, do it now to experience life and peace (see Romans 10:9-13 & Ephesians 2:1-10).

Side note, you were told humans evolved from monkeys and monkeys evolved from what over billions of years? If this were true, then where does the spirit of a person originate? Evolution is taught as a science in school, on television, and in museums, which influences your mind to believe this lie. Science can not prove the theory of evolution and there is NO evidence. The theory of selection has been demonstrated but it does not prove the evolution of humans. The formation of complex systems, of the human body and animals, can only be by the intelligent design of God. Just as the creation of the complex workings of a clock was by intelligent design and not because it happened by chance. Evolution is taught because the secular world, controlled by evil (1John 5:19), wants to eliminate God as the source for the creation of the physical world. The Bible is the absolute truth, not science. Science can’t be absolute truth because it evolves as theories are proven and new discoveries are made through research. Believing in science as absolute truth is idolatry, and it brings death to your soul (see Romans 1:18-32).

There is hope for complete healing as the Spirit of God in you removes the cancer of sin from your soul.

I would love to know what your thoughts are so please leave a comment.

EVIL—What is it and what is the remedy?

How do you seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness?

Can You Be Too Heavenly Minded?

All verses are from the English Standard Version. If you find my posts and website helpful, please share this link with your friends and family: hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected. Please do not reproduce any part of the posts or my book without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom and this website.

My latest book is Unlocking God’s Promises, which explains 18 categories of promises that are relevant to each of our lives. It also includes the promises in Psalm 91.

If you find this website helpful, you would like to read Breaking Mental Strongholds, which expands on my website book and includes many of my posts.

Additionally, consider my book Fighting Unseen Battles, which describes the many unhealthy beliefs that control our lives and what the truths are. To learn more about this book, read the post How to Fight Unseen Battles.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com and ask for a PDF of Eight Life-Changing Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, the 23rd Psalm, and victory. I will also send you the Lord’s Prayer Model to pray effectively. Please leave your name, so I know you are a real person making the request.

Are you in control of your life?

Are you experiencing life and peace? What thoughts control sinful desires and behavior choices? You won’t realize how spiritually dead you are until you put off fleshly desires (lusts), which originate from thoughts that entice you to sin as explained in James 1:14,15. “But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.” Ask yourself, what entices me? What is sin and why does it bring death?

Webster defines sin as the disobedience of moral principles of the Bible, primarily through a willful act.
The Bible says sin is doing evil in 29 verses of the English Standard Version. Evil is doing things to harm someone or cause trouble.
The passages of 1Kings 16:19; 2Chronicals 12:14; Jeremiah 2:19 explain how we do evil when we do not seek God but seek to please ourselves.
James 4:17 tells us sin is when we know the right thing to do and do not do it.

I first want to expand on what I wrote in the blog called Three Steps to Renew Your Mind (Part Two)

“Put off fleshly desires (sin nature). “For the mind set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God” (see Romans 8:7-8). Gal 5:19-21 states, “Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.” Colossians 3:5-7 tells us to, “Put to death (crucify); therefore, what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. 6) On account of these, the wrath of God is coming. 7) In these, you too once walked, when you were living in them.” We have divine power to take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ Jesus (see 2Corinthians 10:3-5). Begin by removing one sinful, wrong thought at a time. Next, put on the corresponding characteristic of the Holy Spirit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness/meekness, faithfulness/truthfulness, and Self-control found on my website.”

Is it possible to never sin? God gave those who believe divine power to take every thought captive so we can command the tempting thoughts and desires to leave in Jesus’ Name. It works, try it. But instead of entertaining enticing thoughts, change how you think so you won’t sin. Romans 8:5,6 states, “For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. 6) For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.” So, how do you set your mind on the things of the Spirit? And, what is the Spirit? The Spirit is part of the trinity and refers to the Spirit of God and Christ. You set your mind on the Spirit by doing the next three practices:

Pray at all times (see Ephesians 6:18; Romans 12:12; and 1Thessalonians 5:17); pray for help when you are being enticed and tempted to sin. Hebrews 2:17,18 states “Therefore he (Jesus) had to be made like his brothers in every respect so that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. 18) For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.”
Praise Him and be thankful (see Hebrews 13:15; Revelation 19:5; Philippians 4:6,7; and 1Thessalonians 5:18), and
Ponder Scripture as you memorize each day (see Psalm 119:11 and Joshua 1:8).
Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; ²but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. ³He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers. (Psalm 1:1-3)

When you set your mind on the Spirit, you live by the Spirit and put to death the deeds of the flesh. Romans 8:13 states, “For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.” So, when you live according to the Spirit, you will experience life and peace because you are abiding in Christ Jesus (see John 15). But before you can set your mind on the Spirit, you must first submit your mind and life to God (see James 4:7). See the blog posts How do you seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness? and Why, What, and How to Submit to God and be FREE to learn how.

So, why does setting your mind on the flesh and sin cause death? Sin separates you from God (Isaiah 59:1,2) so you spiritually die, which leads to an eternity in hell, if you don’t repent and seek forgiveness. Romans 6:23 states, “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Dead means no life, no energy, and no growth; like a branch cut off from a tree. When you sin, you are cut off from God’s power and life force. You may become depressed, fearful, angry, feel purposeless, shame, guilt, and devoid of hope and life. Maybe you have guilt from the past when you lived in the flesh. Ask God to forgive you, then put off the fleshly desires and the guilt, receive God’s forgiveness (see 1John 1:9).

I discovered I had to ask God to heal my memories of when I gave into enticing thoughts and sinned because those memories recreate the enticement. Memories of sinful acts lead to a vicious cycle of sinning and repentance. Read my short book on my website to heal the memories from your past sinful lifestyle. 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

If you are not feeling life and peace, then read the following definitions of the various fleshly desires identified in Galatians 5:19-21 and Colossians 3:5-7. Ask God to reveal if any of them control your thoughts and behavior. To experience freedom, read the last section called “Overcoming Harmful Actions and Addictions” in the third chapter called 3–Breaking Free From Mental Strongholds to learn how to eliminate them.

Sexual immorality is sexual relations outside the limits of a biblical marriage.

Impurity or uncleanness is everything not pleasing to God, who is holy. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal any impure and unclean thoughts from watching or reading lustful or violent stories, and interests that glorify sinful desires. Remember, you are the temple of the living God, and He lives in you through the Holy Spirit. For example, a potty mouth is impure and unclean, so you must crucify it by taking the thoughts captive and putting them off.

Sensuality is a fondness for sensual pleasures such as lewd sex, drugs, and alcohol, also passions which are extreme affections or lusts.

Evil desires are longings for anything God forbids (i.e. revenge, wealth, witchcraft, selfish ambition, etc.)

Covetousness is a longing for something someone else has (i.e., you want someone else’s spouse, car, job, wealth, fame, etc.)

Greediness is an uncontrollable desire for more.

Witchcraft or sorcery is the use of evil supernatural power over people and their affairs. Includes astrology, fortune-telling, seances, charms, curses, superstition, and trying to contact spirits.

Enmity is hostility or always ready to hate someone and hold a grudge.

Strife is to quarrel, struggle, or be in conflict. This person is argumentative, rebellious, contentious, or contrary.

Jealousy is feeling resentment against someone because of that person’s rivalry, success, or advantages.

There is hope for complete freedom from the fleshly desires controlling your thoughts and immoral behavior.

Five Steps to Heal Your Heart and Purify Your Soul

Can You Be Too Heavenly Minded?

Posts on Thoughts

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My latest book is Unlocking God’s Promises, which explains 18 categories of promises that are relevant to each of our lives. It also includes the promises in Psalm 91.

If you find this website helpful, you would like to read Breaking Mental Strongholds, which expands on my website book and includes many of my posts.

Three Steps to Renew Your Mind (Part Two)

Have you seen transformation shows on TV? Isn’t it amazing how they transform people, houses, yards, and furniture? I refinished a lot of furniture in my time, and the part I hated most was stripping off the old paint. But it was worth the effort when the project was completed. Renewing your mind is a similar process. The mind determines what you think, perceive, feel, and believe, which then influences your decisions and behaviors. So, when you renew your mind you are transforming your life.

First, gather your supplies, in the case of renewing your mind, you must make sure you have God’s forgiveness and salvation through Jesus Christ. Read part one if you haven’t already; Forgiven and Saved? Now Renew Your Mind (Part One)

Next, find out what you are dealing with, ask God to search your heart and mind to show what sinful and wrong thoughts control your behavior (Jeremiah 17:10; Revelation 2:23; Psalm 139:23-24). Write them down so you know what to tackle first. To make this job easier, you need to remove pride first, read The Core Negative Heart Issue

The two tools you need are Scripture and prayer. The prayer tool is the binding and loosing principle. Matthew 16:19b and 18:18 states, “…whatever you bind (Greek meaning: knit, tie, fasten) on earth will be bound in heaven; and whatever you loose (Greek meaning: release, destroy, put off) on earth will be loosed in heaven.” You loose wrong thoughts the same way you loose and remove rust and old paint, then you bind on truthful thoughts the same way you put on a new coat of paint. To learn more about authority in prayer read; Four Reasons for Authority in Prayer

Ephesians 4:22-24 explains the instructions, “put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires (lusts), and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.” Corrupt in this passage means perverted, which deviates from what is right, natural, or true. Deceit is the act of representing as true what is false; a lie; a trick. Lust is an intense desire to gratify the senses; bodily appetite or pleasure.

Do these three exercises to renew your mind and transform your life:

Put off fleshly desires (sin nature). “For the mind set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God” (see Romans 8:7-8). Gal 5:19-21 states, “Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.” Colossians 3:5-7 tells us to, “Put to death (crucify); therefore, what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. 6) On account of these, the wrath of God is coming. 7) In these, you too once walked, when you were living in them.” We have divine power to take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ Jesus (see 2Corinthians 10:3-5). Begin by removing one sinful, wrong thought at a time. Next, put on the corresponding characteristic of the Holy Spirit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness/meekness, faithfulness/truthfulness, and Self-control found on my website.

Put on your new self, which is the image of God, righteous and holy. Review Ephesians 4:23-24 above. Colossians 3:10 also states, “put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator (Jesus).” Wow! Our new self is in the likeness and image of Jesus, and we are righteous and holy (see Eph. 4:24)! Our new self does not automatically happen in one instance, but we transform one thought at a time by renewing our minds with the truth of God’s Word.

Now live according to the Spirit by setting your mind on the things of the Spirit, which is truth. Just as you live, abide, and spend time in your home, live, abide, and spend time in God’s Word. Read my post called; Can You Be Too Heavenly Minded?

John 8:31-32 states, “So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Also, John 15:7 tells us, “If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.” What a great promise.

Romans 8:13-14 states, “For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons [and daughters] of God.”

Gal 5:16 states, “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” Live and walk according to the Spirit by showing His fruit in your life. – Galatians 5:22-24 states, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24) And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.” You keep your mind on the Spirit by turning every thought into a prayer, praising Him, and pondering Scripture.

You also need to renew your painful memories, explained in my book on my website. Also, on my website is a worksheet for each characteristic of the fruit of the Spirit. Each worksheet lists wrong thoughts, beliefs, right thoughts, and transformational truth statements.

I hope the information in this post helps you to be victorious over sin and addictions. Renewing our inner self is a day by day process. There is hope for complete healing and victory as you submit your mind to God and His truth in His Word. I appreciate your comments because I like to learn from others.

Five Steps to Heal Your Heart and Purify Your Soul

Begin reading my book: 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

My latest book is Unlocking God’s Promises, which explains 18 categories of promises that are relevant to each of our lives. It also includes the promises in Psalm 91.

If you find this website helpful, you would like to read Breaking Mental Strongholds, which expands on my website book and includes many of my posts.

Forgiven and Saved? Now Renew Your Mind (Part One)

People are like an iceberg, there is so much more under the surface than what you see. I knew I was forgiven and saved, but I struggled with wrong thinking for most of my life. I never had victory over my thoughts and emotions until I learned how to renew my mind and take my thoughts captive and heal my painful memories. Unfortunately, most people who receive forgiveness and salvation do not live in victory over their sinful thoughts, so they are hypocrites to the rest of the world who then don’t want to be forgiven and saved. In this post you will learn how to be victorious over your thoughts and sinful behavior, so you can be holy and righteous.

The following two promises define what being forgiven and saved are. God forgives all your sins and cleanses you from all unrighteousness when you confess your sins (Psalms 103:3 and 1John 1:9). And, you have salvation from sin and death and have the hope of eternal life through Jesus Christ (John 10:27, 14:6; 28; 3:16 – Romans 5:12; 6:23; 8:2; 10:9 – Ephesians 2:8 – Titus 3:4-7 – 1 John 5:13).

So, what is sin?

Webster’s dictionary defines sin as the disobedience of the moral principles of the Bible, primarily through a willful act. The definition of moral is to know the distinction between right and wrong conduct or action. The truths in Deuteronomy 9:18, 1Kings 16:19, 1 Samuel 15:23, and 2Chronicals 12:14 explain that we do evil when we do not seek the LORD with our whole heart. Evil is to harm or destroy someone. Evil people are also called wicked and depraved. When we don’t seek the LORD with our whole heart then we too will do evil. Some of the sins listed in the Bible are sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, evil desires, covetousness, greediness, witchcraft and sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, factions and divisions, dissensions, envying, drunkenness, carousing and orgies, outbursts of anger, hate, resentment, lying, stealing, and idolatry.

What is salvation?

Romans 3:23-24 explains salvation.

for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and
are justified by His grace as a gift, (see Romans 6:23 and Ephesians 2:8,9)
- Justified– just as if I did not sin. Grace – getting what I do not deserve.
through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus,
- Redemption –payment to restore a right relationship and to transform
whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood,
- Propitiation– to pay a penalty to appease and make right again (reconciliation).
to be received by faith.
- Faith is choosing to believe and trust that what God said He would do, He will do. Webster dictionary defines faith as believing something is true, real, etc., and to have confidence in a statement or promise. Though we did not see Jesus die to pay the penalty for our sins, we also do not see our justification by His grace. But by faith, we are confident we have it. We believe what is written by the Apostles because they went through the experience and witnessed the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. They saw the curtain in the temple Holy of Holies being ripped in two and the great earthquake when Jesus died for us. Then over 500 people saw Jesus ascension into heaven, where he is now making intercession for us (see Hebrews 7:25).

2Thesolonians 2:13b states you are, “saved, through sanctification by the Spirit and belief in the truth.” (The Holy Spirit is truth, see John 14:17; 15:26; 16:13; and 1John 5:6). To be sanctified is to be made holy and consecrated through belief in Jesus Christ and the truth (see John 17:17). 1Corinthians 6:11 explains that you will be “washed, sanctified, justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”

Now what?

Though you are forgiven, saved, and sanctified you now must renew your thinking to be victorious over sin. All sin begins in your mind as a temptation. Temptations are enticements based on lies that generate unhealthy, false beliefs and create thoughts of offense. So, your mind needs renewing and transformed every day by the truth of God’s Word. Romans 12:2 states to “be transformed by the renewal of your mind” and Ephesians 4:23 states we are “to be renewed in the spirit of your minds.” Titus 3:5 states, “he [Jesus] saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit” and 2Corinthians 4:16 states, “our inner self is being renewed day by day.”

Renewing your mind is removing sinful, evil desires and lusts by putting off these thoughts through prayer, then putting on the things of the Spirit; truthful thoughts found in the Bible. Ephesians 4:22-24 explains we are, “to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires (lusts), and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.” Corrupt in this passage means perverted, which deviates from what is right, natural, or true. Deceit is the act of representing as true what you know to be false; a lie; a trick. Lust is an intense desire to gratify the senses; bodily appetite or pleasure.

Next week I will explain three exercises to renew your mind and transform your life.

There is hope to be victorious over wrong thinking and out-of-control emotions.

Define Your Mission in Life

Why is a mission important to have? How does a mission statement help you achieve your heart’s desires? The following are excerpts from HABIT 2 – BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND—Principles of Personal Leadership by Stephen Covey from “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.”

Begin today with the image, picture, or paradigm of the end of your life as your frame of reference or the criterion by which you examine everything else. What do you want people to say at your funeral? (What do you want God to say when you stand before Him?) By keeping that end clearly in mind, you can make certain that whatever you do on any particular day does not violate the criteria you have defined as supremely important. Make each day contribute in a meaningful way to the vision you have of your life. Start with a clear understanding of your destination. It means to know where you’re going so you better understand where you are now. So the steps you take are always in the right direction.

A Personal Mission Statement

A personal mission statement focuses on what you want to be (character) and to do (contributions and achievements) and on the values or principles upon which being and doing are based. It becomes a personal constitution, the basis for making major, life-directing decisions, the basis for making daily decisions during the circumstances and emotions that affect our lives. Writing or reviewing a mission statement changes you because it forces you to think through your priorities deeply, carefully, and to align your behavior with your beliefs.

Identifying Roles and Goals

We each have many different roles in our lives–different areas or capacities in which we have responsibility. I may, for example, have a role as an individual, a spouse, a parent, a teacher, a church member, and a businessman. And each of these roles is important. Your mission statement will be much more balanced and easier to work with if you break it down into the specific role areas of your life and the goals you want to accomplish in each area. An effective goal focuses primarily on results rather than activity.

Mission Statement for my life and how I will accomplish it.

The guiding principle for my life is knowing that what I do has eternal value or contributes to it. My life verse is 2 Corinthians 5:10 (ESV), “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.”

I will do the following to reflect this principle.

1. I will be controlled by love and I live for Jesus Christ. 2Corinthians 5:14a,15b states, “For the love of Christ controls us,… those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.

I will do the following to show Jesus Christ’s love.

I will stay in forgiveness and pray for the people in my life.
I will be kind in what I say and do.
I will give preference to the interests and desires of other people; Philippians 2:3,4 “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4) Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others.”
I will encourage people to love God, to pursue holiness, to show love, and live in peace; Ephesians 4:2,3, “with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” And, Hebrews 12:14, “Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord.”

2. I will be heavenly minded and not worldly minded by doing the following.

I will seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness instead of being anxious.
I will seek to give to Christian efforts to grow the kingdom of God.
I will fill my mind with scripture and memorize it so I may not sin: Psalm 119:11, “I have hidden Your Word in my heart so that I might not sin against You.”
I will not look at worthless things. I will only look at things that inspire me to do good and love well (see Ps. 119:37, Ps 101:3).
I will practice 1Thessalonians 5:16-18 and;

- - Rejoice always as I think on Biblical truths—Col. 3:1-3;
  - pray without ceasing by turning every thought into a prayer;
  - give thanks in all circumstances and not grumble or complain because I am His workmanship and God has a purpose for everything—Ephesians 2:10,11 and Philippians 2:13.
I will not seek to fulfill any desires that draw me away from my devotion to God.
I will not desire worldly possessions beyond reasonable needs.

3. I will make my time count for eternity by doing the following.

Serve others as Christ did when He was on this earth (Matt. 20:28; Phil 2:3-7).
Seek and save the lost (Luke 19:10) and lead people to a saving knowledge of Christ Jesus and hand out New Testament Bibles.
Teach Biblical principles through my blog, prison ministry, and be a good witness of the love of Christ.

Can You Be Too Heavenly Minded?

Victorious Thinking to Live a Successful Life

Healthy Thinking and Behaving from Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

Abolish New Year’s Resolutions

If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

Abolish New Year’s Resolutions

Every year we resolve to change our eating style, exercise more, lose weight, get in shape, declutter the house, etc. and every year we last maybe a month or two at the most. There will be advise on how to be intentional and set goals and anything in between. There is nothing wrong with New Year’s resolutions except we don’t have the strength nor the will to see them through. I found I need God’s help to accomplish my goals.

Instead of resolutions, I can’t resolve to keep, I pick a Bible passage with a spiritual principle I want my life to reflect. Then I pray for that principle in to my life each day or at least once a week. My co-worker chooses a word to focus on like, “endure” or “revive,” etc. Dayle’s blog, called One Word, explains this well.

This past year, I picked 2 Corinthians 5:14a,15b, which states, “For the love of Christ controls us, … those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.” I chose this passage because I struggle with loving people enough to sacrifice my desires and give preference to their desires. So, I prayed I will be controlled by the love of Christ and not to live for myself but for Jesus. So, throughout the year, I prayed to be controlled by the love of Jesus. Then, I imagined being controlled by His love and what Jesus would do. Christ’s love reached out to the lost, and He had compassion for people.

So, how did I do this past year with this prayer? I could have done better. When I prayed this scripture into my life, God led me to repent of my pride and of self-centered living so His love could control me. Then, God led me to repent of self-control issues so His love can control my reactions. You can read my transformation testimonies throughout this year in the following posts.

Thoughts That Create Peace Within and Without

The Core Negative Heart Issue

Why, What, and How to Submit to God and be FREE (anxiety disorder is gone, YEA!)

Relationship and World Changing Kindness

A POWERFUL MOOD CHANGER

Self-control and Maturity

The Link Between Disappointment, Resentment, and Self-control

I will continue to practice being controlled by the love of Christ and the previous year’s verses to rejoice always, pray continually, and be thankful in everything (1Theselonians 5:16-18). In the coming year, I want to pray for God to help me memorize scripture. So, I will focus on praying Psalm 119:11, “I have hidden Your Word in my heart, so that I might not sin against You.” Knowing God’s Word is vital to fight against the unseen evil forces of the world. I will hopefully write about the many battles we fight each day and the scriptures we can use to be victorious. Plus, as I memorize scripture, I am developing right thinking which then creates healthy beliefs and behavior. According to Joshua 1:8, when I meditate on Scripture then I will be prosperous and I will have good success. Joshua 1:8 states, “This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.”

There is hope for complete healing and transforming negative heart issues. May God bless you richly in the coming year as you abide with Him and meditate on His Word.

Healthy Boundaries for Toxic Emotions and People

What is a toxic person? The answer is simple, a toxic person is someone who has no control over their emotions and thoughts. This person is controlled by subconscious painful memories. You do not have to be fearful of out-of-control people but put your trust in God. The Bible says, God has not given you a spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind (see 1 Timothy 1:7). In this post, you will learn how to have power, love, and a sound mind so you can establish healthy boundaries. In my last post, I shared a study that described how felt love improves your well-being. Read it here: Are Your Relationships Improving Your Well-Being?. Being around negative, angry, fearful, and insecure people wear down your well-being.

You can find many articles on how to set-up boundaries for out-of-control people, so I won’t teach that here. I recommend the book called Boundaries by Townsend and Cloud, which I read when I was married to an abusive ex-husband. The instructions in the Boundaries book was very helpful, but I couldn’t set healthy boundaries because I was toxic and out of control myself. Then I read a book called Why Should I Be the First to Change? by Chuck and Nancy Missler, which transformed my victim mentality. In this post, you will learn why and how to change yourself before you can set healthy boundaries.

Have healthy beliefs about yourself so you can set healthy boundaries.
Love and respect yourself so you will maintain boundaries.
Apply the truths in God’s Word to heal your toxic emotions and your toxic relationships.

You cannot change how a person behaves, you can only change yourself. As you change, your unhealthy beliefs, then you can set healthy boundaries on the destructive behavior of others. Boundaries identify the problem, consequences, and the way to reconciliation. Boundaries help the emotionally unhealthy person see their need to change. You can pray for God to intervene and change the person, but God cannot change a person’s will if they do not want to surrender their lives to Him and do what the Bible says. Romans 8:7 tells us, “For the mind that is set on the flesh (sin and pleasing yourself) is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law (love); indeed, it cannot.” God’s law is love: Romans 13:10 states, “Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.” And, Galatians 5:14 states, “For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.‘” (Also, read James 2:8.) Toxic people are focused on their on sinful, selfish desires and cannot love others well.

1. First, you must have healthy beliefs about yourself so you can set healthy boundaries.

Understand why you were attracted to a destructive person. For me, I grew up in an abusive home and had no sense of self-worth and no sense of how a healthy person thinks. When I first went to a psychologist who understood abuse and the damage it does to the soul, I learned I had an unhealthy belief that I did not deserve to be loved. And, because I did not love myself, I felt I deserved the abuse. I believed I needed to try harder. But I couldn’t because I was a toxic person as well. As a Christian, I saw my relationships were not loving according to the Bible. The Bible tells us the kind of love we are to have in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things (ESV).” Does your life or relationships reflect this kind of healthy love?

Painful memories cause people to be toxic. Painful memories generate unhealthy beliefs and wrong thinking, which shows in what we say and do. To be a healthy, loving person, you need to heal your painful memories and develop healthy beliefs about yourself, others, and even God. As your memories are healed, oppressive spirits are removed, and unhealthy beliefs are transformed by Biblical truth, then you can set healthy boundaries on your behavior and other’s behavior. I explain how to do this in my short book called, Hope for Complete Healing.

2. Love and respect yourself so you will maintain boundaries.

When I began to receive the love of God and learn to love myself, I began to see myself as valuable. I knew I needed to respect myself, but I couldn’t. So, I began to practice putting boundaries on my thoughts and emotions. But because I relied on my will-power, these boundaries only worked to a limited extent. Lasting change came when I healed my painful memories and transformed unhealthy beliefs. Desiring to love and respect myself forced me to seek God to show me my painful memories and to heal them. The Bible says I need to forgive those who sin against me as God has forgiven me. So, as I continued to forgive the unkind people in my life and focused on the things I could be thankful for, I felt peace and joy. When I saw the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, trust, and self-control in my life, then I could respect myself.

The following quote from Eleanore Roosevelt helped me in a hostile work environment, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Meaning, I can choose not to feel inferior by those who do not respect me and say unkind things. My psychologist explained that the things my ex-husband was saying about me did not represent the truth or reality. This helped me to not internalize the unkind things my ex-husband said to me. I was able to set a healthy boundary around my heart to not internalize unkind words and actions.

3. Apply the truths in God’s Word to heal your toxic emotions and toxic relationships.

Knowing Biblical truths, help you identify the problem and explain why you must set boundaries. Let the toxic person know you value them and the relationship. The person may get angry or anxious and will try to manipulate you or make you feel guilty, but don’t be afraid. Depending on God to help you is the only way to have the power to set boundaries and see lasting change. Be accountable to an older person who knows the truth of God’s Word and is secure enough to point out your wrong thinking.

Recently, I had to establish a separation boundary with a person I thought was my friend but who did not respect or honor me. This was hard to do because I thought I could help her. Helping hurting people is not a bad thing if they submit to God’s work in their hearts and minds and obey Him. Feeling the need to support and be loyal to unloving people makes a person co-dependent to that person. You can read many articles about co-dependency, so I will not cover that hot topic.

You can read how I trusted the promises of God during my divorce and custody battle in the post called Trust God to Keep His Promises.

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

OTHER RELATED POSTS:

How to be Self-controlled in What We Say (updated)

Relationship and World Changing Kindness

The Core Negative Heart Issue

Identify and Replace False Beliefs

Five Steps to Heal Your Heart and Purify Your Soul

WORDS HAVE POWER—PART II: Words Produce Death or Life Energy

Are Your Relationships Improving Your Well-Being?

So, what is well-being and how do you improve it? Dictionary.com explains it as a state (mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual) characterized by health, happiness, and prosperity. I told you in my last post, I was going to write about abusive relationships. This is a very hard topic to write, and though I have the experience, it is still very emotional and hard. Abuse destroys a person’s well-being. The opposite of abuse is love and not just love for the sake of love but felt love. I care about your well-being and the well-being of your family, which is why I have written a lot of posts on how to have a healthy relationship, see POSTS Related to Relationships. Also, read what healthy love is in Love From a Pure Heart.

So, what is felt love and how does it affect our well-being? I came across a research article about this topic, and I share it below.

Feeling loved in everyday life linked with improved well-being

Research suggests that those small, but important daily gestures of love and support may be connected with improved well-being. By Matt Swayne

November 25, 2019

UNIVERSITY PARK, Pa. — Poets and songwriters may tend to focus their artistry on passion and romance, but it may be those unsung, brief feelings of love throughout the day that are connected with psychological well-being, according to a team of researchers led by two Penn State Institute for Computational and Data Sciences (ICDS) researchers. They added that the findings could one day lead to interventions aimed at boosting well-being.

In two studies, the researchers found that people who experienced higher “felt love” — brief experiences of love and connection in everyday life — also had significantly higher levels of psychological well-being, which includes feelings of purpose and optimism, compared to those who had lower felt love scores. They also found that people with higher felt love tended to have higher extroversion personality scores, while people with lower felt love scores were more likely to show signs of neuroticism.

“We took a very broad approach when we looked at love,” said Zita Oravecz, assistant professor of human development and family studies and ICDS faculty co-hire. “Everyday felt love is conceptually much broader than romantic love. It’s those micro-moments in your life when you experience resonance with someone. For example, if you’re talking to a neighbor and they express concern for your well-being, then you might resonate with that and experience it as a feeling of love, and that might improve your well-being.”

According to the researchers, the baseline of the subjects’ felt love experiences, in general, rose throughout the study, suggesting that the nudges to recognize examples of love and connection during the study may also have gradually increased the subjects’ overall sense of being loved. Stronger experiences of felt love, in turn, are associated with improvements in psychological well-being.

“It’s something that we’ve seen in the literature on mindfulness, when people are reminded to focus attention on positive things, their overall awareness of those positive things begins to rise,” said Oravecz. “Similarly, just by paying attention to those everyday moments of felt love, we may also increase our awareness of the overall positive aspects of love in our daily lives. This effect replicates in both studies, implying that raising awareness of felt love in day-to-day life may itself be an intervention that raises levels of felt love over a longer period of time.”

The researchers, who report their findings in the current issue of Personality and Individual Differences, added that because the studies have only shown a correlation between felt love and well-being, more research would be needed to establish a causal relationship. If a firmer connection is established, the researchers said possible interventions could be designed, such as sending regular reminders to a person’s smartphone to draw attention to the felt love that they may be experiencing in that moment to raise psychological well-being. Similar interventions have been designed for mindfulness and gratitude.

The team relied on smartphone technology to gather data from participants throughout their everyday lives. In the first study, they recruited 52 people of various ages. The second study consisted of 160 undergraduate students. Participants received six random prompts throughout the day over a four-week period to assess felt love and well-being, according to Timothy Brick, assistant professor of human development and family studies and ICDS co-hire. He added that sending these messages randomly throughout the day was critical to manage the possible effects of expectation bias.

“It’s important from a research point-of-view,” said Brick. “If the participants expect a call or a text at a certain time of day, they are no longer reacting to what’s going on in their daily life but are expecting the prompt and reacting to that expectation.”

Gathering data multiple times throughout the day from more than 200 subjects over a month can produce a lot of data, said Brick. Also, these everyday experiences of love tend to fluctuate during the study, which can result in what the researchers termed “noisy” data.

“It’s often very difficult to measure psychological quantities because we don’t always have a great idea about what’s going on in our own heads,” said Brick.

Oravecz added, “But with the right statistical methods, we can start to get at questions about difficult constructs like love or compassion, and hopefully build interventions to promote them.”

To analyze this large amount of noisy data, the researchers used nuanced statistical tools. According to Oravecz, the researchers specifically used a Bayesian latent stochastic differential equations model to cut through the noise in the data and identify processes happening underneath. This method is especially suited to help scientists investigate intricate social systems, which often involve relationships that generate complex, highly variable data, she said.

According to the researchers, this statistical method may be used more as social scientists begin to gather large amounts of real-world data from sensors on wearable devices. The researchers used computational resources of ICDS’s advanced computer infrastructure for their analysis.

The team also included Jessica Dirsmith, clinical assistant professor of education, Duquesne University; Saeideh Heshmati, assistant professor of psychology, Claremont Graduate University; and Joachim Vandekerckhove, associate professor of cognitive sciences, University of California Irvine.

This research was supported by the John Templeton Foundation.