Relationship – Page 5 – Hope for Complete Healing

How to Weed out the Protection Belief and Grow Kindness

Why do we have a strong urge to protect ourselves? What are some things we are protecting? For example, most of us want to protect our reputations, physical comfort, egos, heart, and so on. But, if you are in a physically abusive situation, you need to protect yourself and seek a safe place to go. Often, we do not help someone because we fear for our safety, especially in a high-crime area. That kind of protection is reasonable. Unhealthy protection develops because of emotional pain. When we set up walls to protect our hearts, it also prevents us from showing kindness, and I will explain why.

Every experience we have in life affects our perspective going forward. Our perspectives create healthy and unhealthy beliefs. For example, if someone wearing a black ski hat robs you, that will change how you view everyone wearing a black ski hat. Do you see what I mean? My website is about changing unhealthy beliefs to experience a new reality. What we think and say comes from what we believe, which directs our attitudes and behaviors. Our choices determine how healthy our relationships will be. In this series of posts, I will expose the unhealthy beliefs that control our lives and how to transform them with the truth to experience a new reality.

What is the purpose of protective beliefs?

I can only speak for myself, but my experience should be similar to many others if I am like the typical human. My unhealthy protection belief began very early because I grew up in a volatile, unstable home, so I had to protect myself to survive my childhood. I will not discuss the many ways we protect ourselves because there are many ways. Let God show you and ask Him to heal the painful memories that developed your protective behaviors.

Protecting our hurting hearts is similar to putting a cast on a broken arm. The cast protects the arm so it can heal. But once the arm mends, the cast has to come off; otherwise, your arm can’t grow normally because of the restriction. In the same way, we need protection while our hearts heal, but if we don’t remove those protections, it will cripple our ability to show love and kindness.

The biblical truths I share in this post are difficult to apply in our strength, especially when we are hurting from an evil done against us. We need to depend on Christ’s strength through His Spirit in us. Ephesians 3:16 states, “According to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being.” Applying these truths through Christ Jesus’s strength and power will remove the restrictive protection beliefs so you can be free to love and be kind.

Where Does the Protection Belief Come From and What is the Truth that Transforms it?

When you are in an unfriendly environment (i.e., work, home, school, and so on), you feel the need to set up boundaries to protect yourself, which may be necessary. We often avoid the unfriendly person or hide, so we do not have to interact with the unkind or hostile person. You may not see the unkind person as an enemy, but dictionary.com (11/06/2021) defines an enemy as “a person who feels hatred for, fosters harmful designs against, or engages in antagonistic activities against another; an adversary or opponent.” Read my post about how to set healthy boundaries: Healthy Boundaries for Toxic Emotions and People.

The truth: Luke 6:35-36 states, “But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. ³⁶Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.”

Fear causes us to develop an unhealthy protection belief, especially irrational fear like prepping, which is preparing for something that may never happen. I have to confess, I have a touch of that myself, especially with the fear that Biden’s vax-mandate will crash our economy when essential workers walk off the job, then we can’t buy food or other essentials (irrational fear, I know). But will my fear prevent me from showing kindness to my neighbor who is hungry and needs food? To learn how to overcome fear, read HOW FEAR CONTROLS YOU! – ANXIETY: Protected by Worry and Fear Strongholds

The truth: Hebrews 13:16 states, “Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.” And Philippians 4:5-7 states, “Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Betrayal causes us to protect ourselves. I feel betrayed when the people I thought should have loved and protected me are unkind and cruel. We protect our hearts to prevent being betrayed again. Sexual abuse and adultery, I believe, are the worst kind of betrayals. Being betrayed leads to trust and anger issues, which are forms of protection to keep people at a distance. Read my post about how to overcome betrayal: Pt. 1: Forsaken? Betrayed? How to Trust Again.

The truth: Ephesians 4:31-32 states, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. ³²Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

The protection belief generates trust issues. When you are hurt or offended by an unkind word, a breakup, an unfair action, ostracized from a group, criticism, and so on, you naturally protect your heart from being hurt again. This type of protection often results in passive-aggressive behaviors and depression. Unfortunately, we live in an evil world of hurting people who do evil to others. Ask God to show you the ways you were or are hurtful. One of the definitions of evil is being harmful or detrimental (dictionary.com). You can read my post on overcoming trust issues here.

The truth: 1Peter 3:9-11 states, “Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. ¹⁰For ‘Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it.’” And Romans 12:17-18 states, “Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. ¹⁸If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”

A person spreading gossip or who is lying about you produces self-protection reactions. Anytime there is lying, it destroys reputations and relationships. A person who lies, gossips, or slanders has insecurity issues and is easily controlled by the devil. You can learn how to overcome insecurity by reading this post: Freedom from Insecurity, which is Protected by Betrayal and Control Strongholds

The truth: 2Timothy 2:24-26 states, “And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.”

Conclusion:

All the situations described above cause painful memories and protection beliefs. These painful memories reinforce our need to protect ourselves for years to come. The protection beliefs prevent us from showing genuine kindness to people, especially to those we feel don’t deserve it. Only through the strength and power of the Holy Spirit in us can we overcome and transform the protective strongholds in our lives. The e-book on my website will help you overcome painful memories and unhealthy beliefs. Begin reading 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

How To Change Unhealthy Beliefs

1. To transform unhealthy beliefs, recognize you have them. Listen to what you are saying and pay attention to your thoughts. Ask God to search your heart and mind to reveal your unhealthy beliefs.

2. Submit the wrong thinking to God and ask Him to show you the truth.

3. Ask God to show you if there is a painful memory controlling your thoughts and decisions.

4. Pray and put off the unhealthy belief controlling your thoughts and put on the truth God shows you from His Word.

KINDNESS Issues

All verses are from the English Standard Bible unless otherwise indicated. If you find my posts and website helpful, please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected. No part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom and this website.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Life-Changing Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, salvation for non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a person making the request.

How to Decrease Fairness Belief to Increase Patience

“They are not doing their fair share (whine).” When you think of fairness, what comes to your mind? Fairness can be equality, impartiality, justice, and doing what is right. The problem with the unhealthy belief that everything should be fair is that each person has a different perspective of what is a just and equitable action or behavior. What I think is equal, impartial, or fair may not be what you think. So, patience is necessary for those times when your expectation of what you think is fair is not realized. The only one who is truly just is God, yet many people do not trust that He is fair because of this harmful belief. God is righteous and will always do what is right according to His holiness, though we may not understand it.

“Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne; steadfast love and faithfulness go before you.” – Psalm 89:14

“The LORD works righteousness and justice for all who are oppressed.” – Psalm 103:6

“Blessed are they who observe justice, who do righteousness at all times!” – Psalm 106:3

“To do righteousness and justice is more acceptable to the LORD than sacrifice.” – Proverbs 21:3

“Evil men do not understand justice, but those who seek the LORD understand it completely.” – Proverbs 28:5

My website is about changing unhealthy beliefs to experience a new reality. What we think and say comes from what we believe, and what we believe directs our behavior. Our choices determine how healthy our relationships will be. In this series of posts, I will expose the unhealthy beliefs that control our lives and how to transform them with the truth to experience a new reality.

Where Does the Unhealthy Fairness Belief Come From?

Let’s look at our opening statement. “They are not doing their fair share (whine).” Or “They are not pulling their fair share of the work.” Can you hear the judgmental whine? I’m not making fun because I have said that plenty of times. So, the source of the fairness belief begins with comparison and thinking we are doing more than someone else, or have less than someone else, and so on. For example, if you have a liberal mindset, you think the conservatives are not being just and impartial. The conservatives think that the views of the liberals are unjust and not right. It is all a matter of point of view or bias.

Another source is unmet expectations. When we expect that the workload will be shared, yet we think we are doing more work than the other person, they may be thinking they are doing more work than you. You might think you are not getting a fair price, but the other person thinks they are giving you a fair deal. So, fairness is a matter of perspective, which is often based on our self-centered pride. Again, we see the ugly head of pride in yet another unhealthy belief. Pride demands justice and fairness especially when it benefits our self-centered desires. Only when we are humble can we be patient when our standard of fairness and justice is not achievable.

A complaining attitude instead of a thankful attitude also breeds the unhealthy fairness belief of inequality. So, be grateful instead of comparing yourself with someone else and what they are doing or not doing or have that you don’t have.

So, why should we be patient when we feel wronged, and what is patience?

Patience is the evidence of love (1Cor.13:4). When we love others, we are right with God because we love as He loves. John 15:12-14 states, “This is my commandment that you love one another as I have loved you. ¹³ Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life [selfish pride] for his friends. ¹⁴ You are my friends if you do what I command you.” Also, 1John 4:8 states, “Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.”

The following definitions of patience come from Webster’s dictionary. Patience is bearing or enduring pain, trouble, inconvenience, etc., without complaint, losing self-control, making a disturbance, etc. To be forbearing: tolerate (to put up with). Keep oneself in check. It is refusing to be provoked or angered, as by an insult or frustration. And, it is merciful: compassionate or kindly forbearance shown toward an offender, an enemy, or person in one’s power. Lastly, patience is being just: living with a moral principle that determines right conduct and fairness by treating all sides alike.

The Truth That Transforms the Unhealthy Fairness Belief

First, accept that life is not fair, and fairness is arbitrary, which is why we need to be humble and patient with one another.

Second, ask God to reveal if you have resentment toward an unfair action in your past that is related to the offense you have taken in your current situation. For example, when I was a teenager, I felt it was unfair that I had to spend hours doing the dishes that everyone piled up. I became resentful of my sisters because I felt they were dirtying too many dishes. Fast forward to a few years ago; I still resented having to do the dishes. I had my sons take turns doing the dishes, and then they moved out. I talked to my husband about my resentment and asked if he would help, which he did reluctantly, but he often wouldn’t help at all. The truth that set me free from my irrational fairness belief was that I am called to serve others in love as Jesus came to serve.

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. ⁴ Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. ⁵ Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, ⁶who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, ⁷but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.” – Philippians 2:3-7

“For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh [selfish-pride], but through love serve one another.” – Galatians 5:13

Third, instead of stewing about something you feel is unfair, talk to the person involved in the comparison. Calmly state your observation or point of view, then ask for the other person’s point of view on the situation with a humble attitude. Ask if you can work out a more equitable situation to reduce frustration for both of you. If the other person does not see your perspective, then be patient with them.

How To Change Unhealthy Beliefs

1. To transform unhealthy beliefs, recognize you have them. Listen to what you are saying and pay attention to your thoughts.

2. Submit the wrong thinking to God and ask Him to show you the truth.

3. Ask God to show you if you have a painful memory or resentment controlling your thoughts and decisions.

4. Pray and put off the unhealthy belief controlling your thoughts and put on the truth God shows you from His Word.

I first loosed the wrong thinking that God showed me and replaced it with scripture truths like the following:

Being patient shows wisdom. It is to my glory to overlook an offense and not be prideful and arrogant. Prov. 19:11; Eccl. 7:8b
Being patient calms a quarrel, but anger stirs up strife, so I put off my anger and wanting things my way. Prov 15:18
I can be patient with everyone and accept them. And not complain about them but to forgive them as Christ is patient with me and forgives me. 1 Thes. 5:14b; Col. 3:12b,13
I trust God to give me what I truly need in His perfect, divine timing. Phil. 4:19; Luke 12:22-34
I can be humble, gentle, patient, and show tolerance for others in love. Eph. 4:2

A POWERFUL MOOD CHANGER

What is Wrong with Fairness?

How Patience is a Sign of Maturity

WHY HEAL YOUR HEART AND PURIFY YOUR SOUL?

Love From a Pure Heart

How to Eliminate the “My Way is Better” Belief to Sustain Peace

Have you ever thought, “My way is the better way,” or do you associate with someone who insists their way is the only way? Any time someone thinks that their idea or belief is better, there will be strife. This thought comes from the unhealthy belief that you are better than the other person, often making the other person tense and annoyed. The evidence is everywhere, especially in our political climate, where the liberals think their way is best and the conservative thinks their way is better. Can you spell conflict. I have come to realize that I am arrogant when I insist on my way. Peace can only be sustained when we humbly listen to each other, seek to be wiser, and value the other person we disagree with.

Where does the “My Way is Better” Belief Come From?

As I write this post, I feel I need to be transparent with you. I had a severe problem with the “It’s my way or the highway” false belief, which caused strife in my family and in myself. Thankfully, I have overcome this unhealthy belief, and now I live in peace with myself and my family. I expected my family to do everything my way, and if they didn’t, I punished them with my anger. I learned that love does not insist on its own way. 1Corinthians 13:4-5 states, “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful.” Before my heart transformation, I could not meet these expectations of love. You can read about my transformation in the post called WHAT IS INNER LIFE TRANSFORMATION? My Story

The root cause of this unhealthy belief is self-centered pride, which stems from not feeling loved in your formative years. Because I did not feel loved, I developed a self-centered pride, which served me well when I wanted to accomplish a goal but not with relationships. And I could not handle criticism because I thought I did the best work, and my ideas were the best. Then, I was very defensive when someone didn’t like my idea or what I did, which caused strife. Do you see this in your life?

Because we live in a sinful, self-centered world with other self-centered people, not one of us can escape painful memories and negative heart issues from not feeling loved. Therefore, we all need an inner life transformation. Unresolved negative issues affect all our relationships and even our destiny. You can expose them by paying attention to what you think, say, and do.

Another source for this unhealthy belief is not trusting that the other person can or will do things the way you want them to be done. Not trusting comes from past disappointments, betrayal, and, again, not feeling loved. When you don’t get the things you want or when things are not done as you expect, you feel disappointed, which then causes anger, or you worry that your needs will not be met, or you won’t get what you want.

An unsuspecting source for this arrogant belief is ungratefulness, which is a sign of self-centered pride. Being thankful requires that we value others and the things they do or say. But when you don’t feel valued or have peace within yourself, you can’t show sincere thankfulness for what others do. Unthankful people are often critical and only see how they can do it better, which destroys peace.

What Is the Truth That Transforms this Unhealthy Belief?

The truth is that we can take every wrong thought and false belief captive and ask God to take it from us. Suppose you want to sustain peace in your relationships and within yourself. In that case, you need to forgive those who did not show you the love you needed or desired, then ask God to put His love into your heart.

Next, ask God to take the self-centered pride from your heart and give you the heart to serve others and value others as more important. Philippians 2:3-5 states, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. ⁴Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. ⁵Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus.” Pray something like this:

Dear Lord, I put off my selfish pride and wanting things my way, and I put on the attitude and belief that I will do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit. I put on Christ’s attitude of humility and count others as more significant than myself. Lord, forgive me for looking to only satisfy my interests at the cost of creating strife and destroying relationships. Please help me not only to look to fulfill my interests but also to value the interests of others.

The truth is that when you want your way and think it is the best way, you don’t care about the other person and their needs and desires. You become jealous when someone gets their way and prevents you from getting what you want or expect. James 3:16-17 states, “For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile (evil; sinful) practice.¹⁷But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.” Therefore, a person who seeks to be wise is also at peace with themselves and those around them. So strive to be humble and sincerely open to reason and other people’s ideas and desires. I can only imagine what the world would be like if everyone in the world would get rid of their self-centered pride and arrogance and humbly value others as more important than themselves.

How To Change Unhealthy Beliefs

1. To transform unhealthy beliefs, recognize you have them. Listen to what you are saying and pay attention to your thoughts.

2. Submit the wrong thinking to God and ask Him to show you the truth.

3. Ask God to show you if there is a painful memory controlling your thoughts and decisions.

4. Pray and put off the unhealthy belief controlling your thoughts and put on the truth God shows you from His Word.

I first loosed the wrong thinking that God showed me and replaced it with scripture truths like the following:

The peace of Christ rules in my heart, and I am thankful. Col. 3:15

I can be at peace with everyone and do good. Rom. 12:18; Heb. 12:14; 1 Pet. 3:11

I can be peaceable, gentle, showing every consideration for others. Titus 3:2

When I make peace, I will be blessed and be called a child of God. Matt. 5:9

I do not think of myself more highly than others, but in humility, I will regard others as more important than myself. Rom. 12:3; Phil. 2:3

The Core Negative Heart Issue

HOW PRIDE DESTROYS

ALL THOUGHTS ARE WITHIN OUR CONTROL

Can You Be Too Heavenly Minded?

The Link Between Disappointment, Resentment, and Self-control

Spiritual Warfare 3: HOW TO BATTLE FOR PEACE

Thoughts That Create Peace Within and Without

Pt. 1: Forsaken? Betrayed? How to trust again.

How a Pure Heart is a Godly Heart

What is a pure heart, and how does a pure heart contribute to living a godly life? Psalm 119:9(ESV) states, “How can a young man keep his way pure [stay on the path of purity]? By guarding it [living] according to your word.” [NIV in brackets] NAS says, “By keeping it according to Your Word.” The pronoun “it” refers to our way, journey, or life.

How do you guard your way or live according to God’s Word?

The only way to keep our way pure is to have a pure heart. To have a pure heart, you need pure thoughts. Heart means inner man, mind, and will, which also refers to the soul. The Webster dictionary says the soul is also our mind, emotions, and will. Some people credit the soul as containing our sense of morality and conscience with the functions of thinking and willing.

Pure thoughts could be thinking good about people, even those we disagree with or do not particularly like. Think pure thoughts about the opposite sex instead of obscene imaginations. 2Timothy 2:22 states, “So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.” How are you pursuing righteousness, faith, love, and peace? I covered this in my last post called How to Pursue and Achieve Godly Character.

Pure thoughts lead to godly life choices. For example, godly people choose to view movies and TV shows or read material that generates pure thoughts. In Psalms 101:3a, King David said, “I will set no worthless thing before my eyes;” Make this verse your priority to protect your mind from wicked and evil words and images because when your thoughts are pure, then your heart will be pure. Matthew 15:19-20a states, “For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. These are what defile a person.” Therefore, if you want to live a pure and godly life, fill your mind with God’s Word and live according to what you know is God’s will.

For example, if you think an unkind thought about someone or you want to complain, it will inevitably come out of your mouth. Purify wrong thinking using God’s Word. Colossians 3:13 states, “[Bear] with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” So I ask God to forgive me for my critical attitude, complaining, and not bearing with those who irritate me. Then I obey the command to forbear, forgive, and find something to be thankful about.

Only as we obey biblical truth and put off our old self with its wrong thinking and false beliefs then put on a new self in the righteousness and holiness of God can we have godly thoughts and love others well (see Ephesians 4:17-32 and Colossians 3:5-17). 1Peter 1:22-23 states, “Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart, since you have been born again, not of perishable seed but of imperishable, through the living and abiding word of God.” The living and abiding Word of God is Jesus. John 1:1-2, 14 states, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. 14) And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.” When we are born again of the Spirit (John 3:3-6), we receive the Holy Spirit of Jesus and get a new life. Only through Jesus Christ’s divine power in us can we love from a pure heart and live godly lives, which I covered extensively in my last post.

What blocks us from loving with a pure heart?

Something pure has no contaminates. A pure gem has no marks or imperfections. The number one contaminate of our hearts is resentment from unfair and unkind words and actions done against us. Read my related post called How to Recognize and Eliminate Emotional Cancer. Pride is another contaminate. Read the related post called #1 Destroyer of All Relationships and the Solution. Other contaminates in our hearts can be offenses, unforgiveness, guilt, fear, fleshly desires, worldliness, etc. I wrote a post on how to love from a pure heart called Love from a Pure Heart. I also wrote two posts on why and how to purify your heart Why Heal Your Heart and Purify Your Soul? and Five Steps to Heal Your Heart and Purify Your Soul. You also might like to read Three Steps to Renew Your Mind (Part Two)

If our hearts are contaminated by sin and worldliness, then we can’t seek God with all our hearts. Psalm 119:10 states, “With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments [Word]! What keeps us from seeking God with all our heart and soul? The answer is basically anything that distracts us from obeying God’s Word. It could be worldly activities, TV, sin, grief, unforgiveness, curses, wrong thoughts, false beliefs, worries, etc. We need to remove the blocks in our heart before we can seek God with all our hearts. To learn how to remove blocks in your heart, read my short book on my website called Hope For Complete Healing.

Conclusion

Why should we have a pure heart and live godly lives? We will be blessed. Psalm 119:2-3 states, “Blessed are those who keep his testimonies, who seek him with their whole heart, who also do no wrong, but walk in his ways!” One of the best ways to purify your soul and live a godly life is to memorize scripture and practice them. Psalm 119:11 states, “I have stored [hidden] up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.” On the one hand, we know what we need to do; on the other hand, what is our plan to achieve the task of storing God’s Word in our hearts?

All verses are from the English Standard Version. If you find my posts and website helpful, please share this link with your friends and family: hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected. Please do not reproduce any part of the posts or my book without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom and this website.

My latest book is Unlocking God’s Promises, which explains 18 categories of promises that are relevant to each of our lives. It also includes the promises in Psalm 91.

If you find this website helpful, you would like to read Breaking Mental Strongholds, which expands on my website book and includes many of my posts.

Additionally, consider my book Fighting Unseen Battles, which describes the many unhealthy beliefs that control our lives and what the truths are. To learn more about this book, read the post How to Fight Unseen Battles.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, salvation for non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name, so I know you are a real person making the request.

The End is Coming Soon: Part Five—Why Practice Hospitality?

Revelations 22:6-7 “And he said to me, “These words are trustworthy and true. And the Lord, the God of the spirits of the prophets, has sent his angel to show his servants what must soon take place.” 7) “And behold, I am coming soon. Blessed is the one who keeps the words of the prophecy of this book.”

In Part One, I explained why the New Testament writers thought the end was close. In Part Two, I describe how the Apostle Peter thought we are to suffer for the sake of Jesus Christ and how to complete our life’s race in victory. Part Three clarifies why you are to stay alert and sober-minded for the purpose of prayer until Christ’s return. I explain in Part Four why love identifies a real Child of God and how love covers many sins. This post will demonstrate how showing hospitality is keeping the words of the Bible’s prophecy described in Revelations 22:7. Keeping the Bible’s prophecies is doing God’s instructions.

Matthew 24:44 states, “Therefore, you also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.” How should we be ready for Christ’s return? 1Peter 4:7-10 tells us what we must do until Christ returns.

1Peter 4:7-10 (NIV) states, The end of all things is near.

―Therefore, be alert (ESV says, be self-controlled; NAS says, be of sound judgment) and

―of sober mind so that you may pray.

―Above all, love each other deeply (fervently; earnestly) because love covers over a multitude of sins.

―Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.

―Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.

What does it mean to show hospitality?

Dictionary.com says hospitality is the friendly reception and treatment of guests or strangers. Synonyms for hospitality are welcoming, goodwill, generosity, kindness, and friendliness. Many people think that showing hospitality is entertaining people in your home, but can it also mean our church and our lives? Many people have closed their hearts and do not let anyone get close because they do not trust. If this is you, you’re not alone; God wants to heal your heart and give you the courage to trust others and love them as He loves them. I have written several posts on this topic, Pt. 1: Forsaken? Betrayed? How to Trust Again. and Pt. 2: Why You Can and Cannot Trust God? and Pt. 3: Seven Markers of a Trustworthy Person.

Because we don’t trust, we don’t let people into our homes for fear they will judge us. We mostly don’t let strangers in our homes because we fear they will hurt our family or steal from us. What are some other reasons we don’t show hospitality? Please leave a comment.

What does the Bible say about hospitality?

Romans12:13 says, “Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.”

1Timothy 5:10a says, “and having a reputation for good works: … has shown hospitality….”

Hebrews 13:2 says, “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.”

1Peter 4:9 says, “Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.”

1Peter 4:9 says to show hospitality without grumbling. Most everyone knows what it means to grumble. But for clarification, grumbling is an expression of discontent, complaint, or unhappy murmuring. I don’t know about you, but I complain when I am inconvenienced or have to do something I don’t want to do or am forced to do. Why would Peter admonish the believers to not grumble when showing hospitality?

What was hospitality in the first century?

When the Apostle Peter wrote his first letter, hospitality was not the same as we know it. According to https://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/hospitality: “In ancient Israel, hospitality was not merely a question of good manners, but a moral institution which grew out of the harsh desert and nomadic existence led by the people of Israel. The biblical customs of welcoming the weary traveler and receiving the stranger in one’s midst were the matrix out of which hospitality and all its tributary aspects developed into a highly esteemed virtue in Jewish tradition. Biblical law specifically sanctified hospitality toward the ger (“stranger”) who was to be made particularly welcome “for you were strangers in a strange land” (Lev. 19:34 and see Ex. 12:49). Foreign travelers, although not protected by law (Deut. 15:3; 23:21), could count on the custom of hospitality.”

In William MacDonald’s “Believer’s Bible Commentary,” he said that we might need to harbor other Christians in need of shelter and food during the end of times. We may face arrest and imprisonment during this time of persecution, if not death itself, for helping other saints in need. Are you prepared to share food and necessary supplies with your neighbor? Jesus said in Matthew 25:40, “And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’” MacDonald said, “No matter how slight the kindness, it will be rewarded handsomely; even a cup of cold water given in the Lord’s name will be rewarded (Matt. 10:42).” What are some ways you are showing kindness to strangers or fellow believers? Please share in the comments section so others can learn and be encouraged.

Remember the story of the good Samaritan in Luke 10:25-37? Jesus asked in verse 36, “Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers? A despised foreigner spent his time and money to show love to a stranger in need. Can you see yourself doing the same?

How does your church show hospitality? How can your church do better?

When Jesus comes back, will He find you showing hospitality to the saints and your neighbor?

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All verses are from the English Standard Bible. If you find my posts and website helpful, please share my website link with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected, and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom and this website.

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

The End Will Come: Part Four—Be Ready in Love.

1Thessalonians 5:2 states, “For you yourselves are fully aware that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night.” How should we be ready for Christ’s return? In Part One, I explained why the New Testament writers thought the end was close. In Part Two, I describe how the Apostle Peter thought we are to suffer for the sake of Jesus Christ and how to complete our life’s race in victory. Part Three clarifies why you are to stay alert and sober-minded for the purpose of prayer until Christ’s return. This post explains why love identifies a real Child of God and how love covers many sins.

1Peter 4:7-10 (NIV) states, The end of all things is near.

―Therefore, be alert (ESV says, be self-controlled; NAS says, be of sound judgment) and

―of sober mind so that you may pray.

―Above all, love each other deeply (fervently; earnestly) because love covers over a multitude of sins.

―Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.

―Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.

What does it mean to love each other deeply?

To love each other deeply is to love like God. He sent His only Son to be like us in every way and suffer the same temptations so He can help us endure and escape (see Hebrews 2:17-18; 4:14-16; and 1Corinthians 10:13.) God loves us so fervently that He asked His son to pay the penalty for our sin by being the perfect lamb and die on the cross for all humanity’s sins. John 1:29 states, “Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!” Because God made us in His image, we can love as He does. But we can’t, why not?

How are we to love deeply and fervently?

When you love fervently, you love with great intensity of spirit, feeling, and enthusiasm. How many people do you know that love like this? I know I don’t. Why don’t I and most of humanity love others deeply? I can speak for myself that I don’t love with great intensity because of my soul’s wounds. I have put a guard up around my heart because I endured a lot of hurt from sinful people. Yet, when Jesus comes back, He is looking for people who love others fervently. Why? Because love covers a multitude of sins.

Sin is doing evil when we forsake God and disobey His loving, protective commands. He commands us to love (Luke 10:27 and Matthew 22:37-49.) 1Corinthians 13:3-7 tells us, “If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. 4) Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. 7) Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” The only way we can love as God loves is to purify our hearts from the hurt and offenses imposed on us by those who did not love us and sinned against us. I wrote a post on how to love from a pure heart called Love From a Pure Heart. I also wrote two posts on why and how to purify your heart WHY HEAL YOUR HEART AND PURIFY YOUR SOUL? and Five Steps to Heal Your Heart and Purify Your Soul.

Why do we sin, and how does love cover sin?

Genesis 4:7, “sin is crouching at the door, and its desire is toward you, but you must rule over it.” God is telling Cain to rule over or master his thoughts of anger and jealousy, but he didn’t and killed his brother Able.

Anger is not a sin because God gets angry, and He is perfect.¹ Anger indicates you are offended by a perceived unfairness or unmet expectation. The term offended means to feel irritated, annoyed, or displeased because of someone’s sin, negligence, or disregard. Ephesians 4:26-27 states, “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.” We, too, must master our angry thoughts so we don’t act on the sinful desire to punish. More than that, we must master angry thoughts, so Satan does not influence our thinking. All sin begins in your mind as a temptation to give in to fleshly desires or to seek justice for an offense.² LOVE COVERS SINS BY FORGIVING AND NOT HOLDING AN OFFENSE AGAINST THE OTHER PERSON. Proverbs10:12 states, “Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.” And Proverbs 17:9 states, “Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.” God’s love forgives our sins so that we can forgive others their sins and cover them with love. Read my post called WHY MUST YOU FORGIVE.

Conclusion:

When Christ returns, will He find you loving people by forgiving them and not taking up an offense against them? Love is challenging because it involves sacrificing our right to punish when we think we have been mistreated. 1John 4:8 states, “Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.” God will know only those who love Him and loves other people. Read my short book on this website to begin transforming painful memories that prevent you from loving with fervency, 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories.

1. God’s anger: Numbers 22:22; Judges 2:12; and Revelations 14:10.

2. Hanscom, Joyce, Unseen Battles For Your Mind-not yet in published.

All verses are from the English Standard Bible. If you find my posts and website helpful, please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected, and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Idolatry and Soul Ties

Dear Friends,

Every living soul has wounds of rejection and will try to get their love-need met by equally wounded people. Wounded people cannot love us as God loves us. So, many of us become or have become sexually involved with a person to feel loved. Sometimes, we are so desperate for love and acceptance we will seek relationships with people we are not compatible with, and who don’t have the same beliefs. When you seek to get your needs met from a relationship instead of seeking God, that is idolatry.

The following Scripture warns against idolatrous relationships with unbelievers. 1Corinthians 15:33 states,“Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company ruins good morals.’” And, 2Corinthians 6:14 tells us, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” To be yoked is to be bound together, much like two horses are harnessed together to pull a carriage. If one horse is old and slow and the other horse is young and fast, they would be unequally yoked. Both horses will get hurt in some way.

Have you ever been unequally yoked? How did it work out? Being in a relationship with unbelievers or worldly Christians is risky because their minds are filled with the false beliefs of the world. Satan knows we are drawn away from our devotion to God and His truth when we become yoked with worldly people. For example, King Solomon’s pagan wives drew him away from his devotion to God by causing him to worship their idols.¹ As a consequence, God caused King Solomon to lose his kingdom because he did evil by worshiping idols. Another consequence of being yoked is it creates soul ties.

What are soul ties?

What do you know about soul ties? The short answer, soul ties, is the knitting of two or more individuals in body, soul, and spirit. Soul ties occur in three ways, emotional, sexual, and spiritual. For an example of an emotional soul tie, read the story of David and Johnathan. 1Samual 18:1 states, “As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.” The relationship between Jesus and Mary, Lazarus’ sister, is another example of a spiritual soul tie. And, sexual intercourse causes two people to become one flesh, thus creating a soul tie.²

When you have a soul tie with another person, your spirit will be affected by that person’s demonic spirit attachments. For example, I sought love from an unbelieving boyfriend in High School and he forced himself on me. The soul tie with him negatively impacted my marriage to other men until I broke it with a prayer to loose and put it off from my spirit in Jesus’ name. When that soul tie was broken, I felt a release of an oppressive spirit. I felt love for my husband for the first time. I did this with all my past unhealthy relationships. I am now free from a host of negative spiritual, mental, and emotional issues. So, to be free from the control of evil spirits in another person’s life, then the soul ties need to be loosed and put off.

You can be friends with unbelievers and share your testimony with them without forming a soul tie. However, close friendships or partnerships with worldly people or cultural Christians will open you to be influenced by the evil spirits influencing them. For instance, a person who is not devoted to Jesus Christ cannot submit to God and does not resist the devil. So, the devil will control them to do his will, which will negatively impact your life.³ The Apostle Paul explains this in his letter to the Romans:

Romans 8:5-8 states, “For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. 6) For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. 7) For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. 8) Those who are in the flesh cannot please God. ” For a better understanding of living according to the flesh, read Unseen Battle With The Secular World

How to find fully devoted Christian friends.

You need Christian friends who are fully devoted to God because if they are not, they will negatively influence your relationship with God. You might ask, how do I know if someone is submitted to God? I’m glad you asked. Use the following questions to learn if the person you may want a close relationship with is spiritually mature.

1) Do they talk about God and the Bible, or are they more interested in worldly entertainment and earthly things?

2) Do they display devotion to God, such as going to church, reading and memorizing Scriptures, sharing their faith, serving others, and praying?

3) Do they live like Christ-followers led by the Spirit, or do their lives resemble unbelievers following their sinful flesh?

4) Are they seeking to live holy and pure lives through Christ Jesus? How do they react to hurts, trials, and temptations?

5) Do they show they love God with all their heart, mind, soul, and strength by not having any idols in their lives as described in this chapter? Where are their devotions and affections (i.e., spend their time and money?)

6) Do your close friends show love for their neighbors by helping those in need, encouraging them with kind words, etc.?

7) Do they stay in forgiveness, or do they easily take up and hold on to offenses? This question will reveal if they are prideful and have wounds in their soul.

8) Are they thankful, or do they complain?

9) Are your close friends pursuing righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness, and peace?

10)Do they live by faith in Jesus Christ, or do they proudly rely on themselves to be good enough instead of trusting in Jesus Christ?

1. King Solomon and wives: 1Kings 11:1-13.

2. Sexual ties: Ephesians 5:31 and 1Corinthians 6:16.

3. Controlled by the devil: James 4:7 and 2Timothy 2:26.

Grace and peace to you,

Joyce

RELATED POSTS:

Fear God, Not People

Breaking Childhood Rejection and Insignificance Strongholds.

Are Your Relationships Improving Your Well-Being?

Healthy Boundaries for Toxic Emotions and People

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All verses are from the English Standard Bible. If you find my posts and website helpful, please share this link with your friends and family; hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected. Please do not reproduce any part of the posts or my book without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom and this website.

Check out my latest book Breaking Mental Strongholds, which you can order on Amazon. To learn more about it, read my post called Breaking Mental Strongholds Book. Also, check out Fighting Unseen Battles on Amazon. To learn more about this book, read: How to Fight Unseen Battles.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. I will also send you the Lord’s Prayer Model to pray effectively. Please leave your name, so I know you are a real person making the request.

Are You a Sheep or a Goat?

Our current political environment is separating out the goats and the sheep? Read Matthew 25:31-46 for an example of who God says are the sheep and the goats. Hatred and intolerance abounds within the church, schools, universities, and communities. Why is this? The devil is working hard to sow division, dissension, destruction, and deception in our hearts. Where you see these things, you see the devil at work. Read more in Part 1: How to Achieve Genuine Goodness? and Part 2: How to Overcome Evil with Good.

People who identify as a “Christian,” do not always display the character of Jesus Christ. The character of Jesus and God is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. How does your thinking, actions, and words line-up with these characteristics? Ephesians 4:22-24 states, “to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.” No one is perfect, so we should daily renew our minds to line up with the character of God. Your mind determines what you think, perceive, feel, and believe, which then influences your decisions and behaviors. My book on my website will help you find the hurt and offenses in your life that block your ability to be like Jesus. 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories.

So how can you know who the true Christian’s are?

Though, no one knows the heart of another person except God, the Bible says in John 13:35 “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” Also, 1John 3:10 states, “By this it is evident who are the children of God, and who are the children of the devil: whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is the one who does not love his brother.” It does not matter what church you go to or what political party you are affiliated with, if you do not love you do not know God, nor can you give grace to a person you disagree with. 1John 4:8 states, “Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.” I claimed to be a Christian for years but could not love because of the offenses in my heart. It is my life’s goal to purify my heart and be like Christ.

Here is the test. If you believe you love like a true Christian, rate your reaction to the following terms: Trump, Liberal, unborn baby, Antifa, Trump supporter, Nancy Pelosi. Do you feel hate, love, disgust, or anger? Someone said, President Trump (hard to say) claims to be a Christian, I cannot judge, and it is irrelevant, we all will stand before God and give an account for how well we love. 2 Corinthians 5:10 states, “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.”

What is the role of a Christian in Politics?

As I said already, no one is perfect, and you will not be in perfect agreement with everyone, which is why God gave us grace, so we can give it to others. Politicians are far from perfect because they all stretch the truth or evade parts of the truth to create their own narrative to get us to believe what they want us to believe. On the other hand, a true Christian is an ambassador of the Kingdom of heaven. 2 Corinthians 5:20 states, “Then we are ambassadors on behalf of Christ, as God exhorting through us, we beseech you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.” And, Ephesians 2:19 explains, “So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God,” The first allegiance of a true Christian is to God and to obey Him. Second, we are to love each other and do what is right in God’s sight. Third, we are to care for those in the church, the orphans, widows, and those in need. Last, true Christians support the politician that seeks to advance the love of God and country we are ambassadors in.

The most important thing true Christians can do is pray. 1 Timothy 2:1-4 states, “First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people (even enemies), for kings (presidents) and all who are in high positions (government officials), that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. 3) This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.” Let us pray for the salvation of those who are not leading peaceful and quiet lives, and who are not godly and dignified in every way.

Grace and Peace to you,

Joyce

RELATED POSTS

How To Pray From The Answer

Walking With Christ In Social Relationships, Part 1 – The Bible And Slavery: Reformation From Inside-Out — pastorterryjdavis

What Controls Your Thoughts?

Thoughts That Create Peace Within and Without

Can You Be Too Heavenly Minded?

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My latest book is Unlocking God’s Promises, which explains 18 categories of promises that are relevant to each of our lives. It also includes the promises in Psalm 91.

If you find this website helpful, you would like to read Breaking Mental Strongholds, which expands on my website book and includes many of my posts.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com and ask for a PDF of Eight Life-Changing Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, the 23rd Psalm, and victory. I will also send you the Lord’s Prayer Model to pray effectively. Please leave your name, so I know you are a real person making the request.

Breaking Childhood Rejection and Insignificance Strongholds.

Rejection in my life began before I was born. My mother found out she was pregnant while attending nursing school, and had to quit and marry my father. Then she was alone in a navy hospital for about three months before my twin sister and I were born. No one came to visit her and my father was out to sea. Then my father was discharged from the Navy so he could take care of his new family. My mother was very unhappy with my father, because he was very irresponsible. I learned this when I found letters she wrote to my grandmother, which revealed a lot about how she was feeling and what was happening at the time I was born.

Thirteen months later another sister was born, who had a lot of health problems. Not only did I have to share my mother with my twin sister, but now I had to compete with another sibling. The spirit of rejection took a stronger hold on my mind. My classmates then rejected me because my family was very poor, and I wore hand-me-down cloths and had lunch tickets. The stronghold of loneliness took hold, and I became withdrawn and escaped into my dreams and watching TV. My mother was angry and depressed because of the spirit of rejection on her from my father and her childhood. Though my mother tried to love us, I never felt loved, which damaged my self-worth. I became dysfunctional in my ability to relate to people, and I could not love or trust other people.

The lies created by rejection and protected by the rejection stronghold.

Satan, who hates mankind and God, will cause children to feel rejected as early as he can to reinforce the stronghold of insignificance, and to keep them in bondage to insecurity. Satan knows that rejection damages our perception of ourselves, other people, and situations. For instance, have you ever felt rejected when you perceived someone excluding you but they weren’t? When you have the spirit of rejection, then you feel rejected when someone does not do what you expect, or does not agree with you, etc.

The first step to removing the spirit of rejection in our lives is to acknowledge its existence. Barbara Taylor, whose book From Rejection to Acceptance has helped many understand and cope with their feelings of being unloved. She wrote on page 48, “Until I was honest enough to admit there was a problem, I had no reason to seek help from God or man. More serious than this was the fact that until I saw the problem was with me, I was convinced that the whole world around me had the problem.” Taylor also lists five lies planted in a child’s mind, each one building on the other:

“I am not loved.”

“I must be unworthy of love.”

“I must perform to win love.”

“If I cannot properly perform, I will be ultimately rejected.”

“If I am rejected, then I must compensate for this rejection.”

?? Have you had any of these lies listed above in your heart and mind?

Damaged love tanks in marriage.

We all desire to feel significant, to be accepted and approved, and we shun rejection. When a person does not feel loved, they do not feel valued, and it damages their self-worth. So, the most painful emotions we store in our hearts are feelings of not being loved, valued, and accepted. Everyone’s love tank is damaged by unkind actions and words. God is love and He created us to love and be loved.

As adults, we expect imperfect people, who have equally damaged love tanks, to love us. So, when two people try to get love but can’t reciprocate love, then they become resentful and angry toward each other. This happened in my first marriage. Only God can love us perfectly, and only God can restore and heal our damaged love issues. The problem with this truth is when a person has a spirit of rejection on them, they also feel God is rejecting them, especially when their prayers go unanswered. So, the key to a healthy marriage is to heal our damaged love tanks and fill it with God’s love.

Getting self-worth from other people’s approval and transform unhealthy beliefs.

As an adult, when I perceived rejection in any form, whether it was rejecting something I said or did, I would become offended and say hurtful things. Even when people did not think as highly of me as I did, I felt rejected. Yes, I was prideful, and I felt I did not deserve to be rejected. This dysfunctional thinking and behavior affected my relationship with my family, and created a spirit of rejection in their lives.

The Holy Spirit showed me that it was a sin to find my significance in what I do, and my worth in people’s opinions. Satan tempts us to focus on other people’s opinions of us to keep us in bondage to getting our value from the approval of people. Our significance and worth come from God and His purpose for us. I repented and reprogram my mind to believe that it only matters what God thinks of me and not what unregenerate people thought of me. We need to understand that people’s opinions are based on their insecurities and damaged self-worth. So, if we are depending on other damaged people to give us worth, then we will remain feeling unloved and insignificant.

In prayer, I loosed and put off the unhealthy beliefs that I need approval to feel valued, and people have to accept me to give me a sense of worth. Then I put in to my heart the truth that God loves and accepts me because I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior and became a child of God, which gives me incredible worth and significance. I transformed my beliefs with the following truths. “I can be kind to people who do not value me because I know they have a damaged love tank.” (See Luke 6:35; 1 Thes. 5:15.) “I can receive God’s kindness and love and know that He will not reject me.” “I will live with God for eternity, so I will seek first His kingdom and find my self-worth in His love, peace, joy, and righteousness.” (Read Matt. 6:33; Rom. 14:17.)

Transforming unhealthy beliefs about my self-worth.

Do you believe your worth is in what you do, who you know, how much money and possessions you have, and in what others think of you? I believed the lie that I needed to be important and have significance to have worth. I believed I needed to be in control to feel important. I believed the lie that I needed to be successful to have significance, so I unknowingly rejected anyone who got in my way. In prayer, I loosed and put out of my mind these unhealthy beliefs and repented of these sins. Once my unhealthy beliefs were transformed by truth, I loosed and put off the negative emotional energy from the painful memories of rejection. After I worked through the healing process to eliminate my painful memories through forgiveness, unhealthy beliefs, and the stronghold of rejection, insignificance, and loneliness in my life, I became emotionally stable.

What I learned. The negative opinions that people have about you do not represent the truth, but reflect their damaged emotions and insecurities. When you try to get your worth from other people, from what you own, or from what you do, you will be disappointed and discouraged. Your worth is found in knowing and serving God. So, keep your mind on Jesus and what He thinks of you. Turn every disappointment in your life into a prayer, rejoicing in Jesus, and being thankful in all circumstances (1Thes. 5:16-18).

Hope in God to heal your negative heart issues. Read Psalm 139 to learn what God thinks of you. My book called “Hope for Complete Healing” explains in more detail how to be free from many other unhealthy beliefs and strongholds. 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

RELATED POSTS:

Love From a Pure Heart

WHY SHOULD I FORGIVE

Freedom from the Snares of Disrespect, Unworthiness, and Failure

WHY HEAL YOUR HEART AND PURIFY YOUR SOUL?

Five Steps to Heal Your Heart and Purify Your Soul

HOW PRIDE DESTROYS

How to Overcome Situational Depression.

HOW MEMORIES INFLUENCE OUR THINKING, EMOTIONS, AND BEHAVIOR

Posts about Prayer

WHAT IS INNER LIFE TRANSFORMATION? My Story

Escapism; Protected by Strongholds of Loneliness and Discontentment

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My latest book is Unlocking God’s Promises, which explains 18 categories of promises that are relevant to each of our lives. It also includes the promises in Psalm 91.

If you find this website helpful, you would like to read Breaking Mental Strongholds, which expands on my website book and includes many of my posts.

How You May Be an Enemy of God.

These are very strong words. I do not want to be an enemy of God because I know what God can do to His enemies, and I want to be on His blessing side, do you? James 4:4 explains how we can become an enemy of God;

You adulterous (unfaithful) people!

Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God?

Therefore, whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.

Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”?

Do you want to be an enemy of God?

We all know how adultery destroys a marriage. So adultery with the world destroys your relationship with God. Friendship with the world looks different for each of us. Nonetheless, friendship with the world is when you desire the pleasures of the world to please yourself more than you desire the presence of God and to please Him. To know if you are worldly-minded, pray and put off pride, humbly draw near to God, and ask Him to show you. Also, read Unseen Battle With The Secular World.

You can’t love the world, or the things of the world and love God as described in James 4:4. There is no middle ground; you are either humbly submitted to God or pridefully submitted to the world. You cannot stand firm in your faith if you continue to do the things of the world and think worldly thoughts. Galatians 5:17 states, “For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for they are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.” And, Romans 8:7-8, explains, “For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. 8) Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.” The one thing that pleases God is faith. Hebrews 11:6 states, “And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.”

How does our faith please God?

By faith, we believe and seek first what God wants, just as a soldier believes in his commander and wants to do what pleases them. 2Timothy 2:4 states, “No soldier gets entangled in civilian pursuits since his aim is to please the one who enlisted him.” To be entangled means to twist together, so that disengagement is difficult. To avoid getting entangled we are to do what Jesus encourages us to in Matthew 6:33 “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness.” Seeking the kingdom of God is not easy as explained in Matthew 7:13-14 which says, “Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. 14) For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.” As Christians, we are to be single-minded and focused on our pursuit to stay on the narrow path and please God. The world’s enticements lead you down the wide path to destruction. The Apostle John tells us in 1John 2:17, “And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.”

What are the world’s enticements?

The world’s enticements most often come from the media. You must guard your mind against viewing, reading, and listening to media that glorify evil. The next two verses are good to pray and resolve to do. Psalms 119:37 states, “Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things (vanity); and give me life in Your ways.” Something worthless is useless and without value. Vanity is having no real value or significance. Psalms 101:3-4 states, “I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless (vile). I hate the work of those who fall away; it shall not cling to me. 4) A perverse heart shall be far from me; I will know nothing of evil.”

In the MKJV, it states, “I will set no wicked thing before my eyes. I have hated the work of those who turn aside; it shall not hold on to me. 4) A perverse heart will depart from me; I will not know the wicked.”

In the NAS, it states, “I will set no worthless thing before my eyes; I hate the work of those who fall away; It shall not fasten its grip on me. 4) A perverse heart shall depart from me; I will know no evil.”

Mark 12:30 states, “And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” If you love God this way, would you allow anything vile (evil; wicked; depraved; sinful; repulsive; disgusting) and perverse (not considered right or acceptable) to enter your mind? Do you love God to the point where you will know nothing of evil? Remember, evil is something morally wrong and wicked that causes pain or trouble. Evil is compared with death and good is compared with life in Deuteronomy 30:15, which states “See, I have set before you today life and good, death and evil.” This tells me, I can choose life and good and not death and evil. Romans 12:19b states “Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.” Psalm 34:14, also states, “Turn away from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.” 3John 1:11 states, “Beloved, do not imitate evil but imitate good. Whoever does good is from God; whoever does evil has not seen God.” So, it makes sense that those who do evil have not seen God because God is good and when we invite Him into our hearts, we will naturally want to be good. Would you agree?

After reading Deuteronomy 30:15, I realize I need to choose life by choosing good things that benefit me and bring glory to God. When you allow worthless, vile, and evil things into your mind, it will stain your conscience and cause death by separating you from God, who gives life. James 1:27b says to “keep oneself unstained from the world.” All forms of ungodly media entice believers to conform to the world’s standards of deception, revenge, sexual immorality, hate, etc. I challenge you to make a mental note of the worldly messages you receive from video games, advertisements, TV shows (especially soap-operas), movies, or the internet. Do the messages glorify God? Do the messages entice you to glorify yourself? Or do the messages glorify the world’s standards of ungodliness?

Think for a moment. If the people creating the entertainment have not submitted their minds to God to bring Him glory, then their foolish, evil thoughts are directing their actions and creativity. Worldly entertainment deceives you into thinking that foolishness and evil are acceptable when the goal is to enslave you in sinful thoughts and actions. Ask yourself, is what I’m taking into my mind drawing me closer to God or drawing me closer to vain worldly thinking and sin?

Are you an enemy of God in your thinking and actions?

Do you seek and love God or do you seek and love the things of the world?

Is your focus on living by faith and pleasing God or would you rather have the pleasures of the world?

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