Anger – Page 4 – Hope for Complete Healing

Minimize Memory Clutter

Do you know any minimalist? My husband and I read a book on being a minimalist. The author said that a minimalist sells, throws away, or gives away possessions they do not use or does not have sentimental value. Minimalists say that decreasing ones possessions will reduce stress and free up time. My husband wants to be an extreme minimalist and reduce our possessions to the smallest amount possible. I think he wants to get rid of my things that he thinks is unnecessary. I told him to start with his things, such as the crow decoys in the shed and hunting blinds in the basement that he never uses. Do you have an attic, basement, garage, spare room, or shed full of stuff you know longer use or need? For more information, watch the YouTube videos on being a minimalist.

So, can our memories be mental clutter that keep us from being productive and stress free? I learned from Dr. Caroline Leaf that most of our memories are in our subconscious mind and we are not even aware of how much they are controlling our thinking. It is my experience that my subconscious painful memories dominated my life and caused tremendous stress. The reason was because my memories controlled my thoughts, which often led to emotional stress and dysfunctional reactions. To learn more read: HOW MEMORIES INFLUENCE OUR THINKING, EMOTIONS, AND BEHAVIOR

So why should we minimize painful memories? First, you will think more clearly, that is, your memories will not control your thoughts. Secondly, you will be free to choose loving and kind responses during stressful situations instead of following programmed memory behavior scripts.

When to minimize memory clutter. Do you think about the painful things done or said to you? Do you feel angry, impatient, irritated, or frustrated? Do you complain? If you answered yes to any one of these questions, then you need to clean out the unloving and unkind memories that do not help you be a loving and kind person.

So how do you minimize memories? Romans 12:2 states, “… but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will.” The last blog I posted was on this topic of inner self transformation and renewing your mind. So, I will not repeat what I wrote and would encourage you to read that post to learn more. WHAT IS INNER LIFE TRANSFORMATION? My Story Also, 2 Corinthians 4:16 states, “So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.”

We minimize our memory clutter the same way we minimize our physical clutter; one item at a time. The only exception is we need God to search our minds and to bring those memories to be eliminated out of our subconscious. I explain how to do this on the pages listed on my website. 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

Reducing memory clutter of all the negative, painful, and disappointing experiences in my life freed me to enjoy my life, love others, and to be thankful.

If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

WHAT IS INNER LIFE TRANSFORMATION? My Story

When you view yourself in the mirror what do you see; a beautiful butterfly or an ugly caterpillar?

Before my life transformation, I looked in the mirror and saw a lonely, hurting, and unlovable child in an adult body. I desired to be a person who would know, feel, and show love. I wanted to be joyful and not sad and disconnected. I wanted to feel peace instead of anxiety and anger. Because of the many offenses in my heart from my abusive and dysfunctional past, I developed unhealthy beliefs and unloving thoughts that controlled my emotions. But before I continue with my story, I want to explain what the terms abusive and dysfunctional mean. And what are offenses? The following definitions are from the Webster dictionary.

Dysfunctional is to be abnormal and/or emotionally impaired. A dysfunctional person is emotionally unstable, insecure, or controlling. They are usually full of unreasonable anger and anxiety. Also, a dysfunctional person can be impaired by alcohol, drugs, mental illness, addiction, etc.

Abuse is the mistreatment of others that causes physical, emotional, and mental harm. Abuse also includes using insulting, coarse, or bad language about or to someone.

Offenses develop resentments from hurt feelings. We are offended by unfairness, mistreatment, disrespect, betrayal, nonacceptance, and being ignored.

My Story

My transformation began at eight years old, when I heard the good news about Jesus Christ and believed. After asking Him to come into my heart, I felt love and hope for the first time. I continued to live in a dysfunctional and abusive home where painful memories and the related emotional stress continued to build up. Because I didn’t feel safe, I became anxious. In addition, I was lonely and discontent, which led to different escape behaviors. And I became angry at the mistreatment. Both my parents professed to be “Christians.” But they continued to sin because of offenses in their hearts from the repressed painful memories of their dysfunctional pasts.

My first marriage was to a hurting “Christian” man, who would be abusive because of the offenses in his heart. As a result, I became depressed, even more insecure, angry, and controlling. I realized I needed to change for the sake of my children, students, and friendships. So, I went to several psychologists; read many self-help books; and attended several bible-study groups, but did not experience any change in my life. These activities only exposed the depravity of my heart. And since my repressed painful memories weren’t transformed, I continued to act out of my wounded heart. I ended up having to separate from and then divorce my first husband. Because I trusted in God, I saw many miracles as He helped me go through the divorce and custody battle. This story is in the post called: Trust God to Keep His Promises.

Because we live in a sinful world with self-centered people, not one of us can escape painful memories and negative heart issues. Therefore, we all need an inner-life transformation. Unresolved negative issues affect all our relationships and even our destiny. You can expose them by paying attention to what you think, say, and do.

I encourage you to keep a journal of your thoughts, words, and reactions for several months. In a separate journal, record as much as you know about your family as far back as you can remember. Ask your parents and grandparents to tell you what they know. Write about relationship dynamics and any dysfunctional patterns. Record any major events that shaped their lives and yours, such as a death, divorce, addiction, mental illness, disability, or a major change that was upsetting. Every detail will give you a clue about how your family dynamics were shaped and any dysfunctions that were passed down. By journaling, you will better understand your parents and their unresolved negative issues that may be affecting them, which is also affecting you.

Next, write as much as you can remember about your life, even the beginning of your life, which your mother could tell you. Record the relationship dynamics between you and your parents, siblings, and extended family. Some memories will be painful, and they need to be healed for you to be healed, which is the purpose of exposing them. Like cancer treatments or heart surgery, they are painful but necessary for healing and life. Reading my short book on my website will help you heal these memories. To learn more about memories, read HOW MEMORIES INFLUENCE OUR THINKING, EMOTIONS, AND BEHAVIOR.

Working through unresolved negative issues takes time, but it is well worth the time. I have been working on my negative heart issues for the past 20+ years, and I have seen incredible results in my life, marriage, family, and workplace relationships. After healing my memories, I am mindful of what I say and how I react. Now I can correct my behavior by changing my thinking to love from a pure heart. I refer to the “issues” worksheet pages on my website to resolve memories that create current behavior problems. I am also quicker to recognize when I become offended by other people’s negative issues, so I can forgive and remove the offense from my heart. To learn more about how our words have power read: WORDS HAVE POWER—Part I: Overcoming The Destruction of Offensive Words and WORDS HAVE POWER—PART II: Words produce death or life energy.

I was the perfect person to test what worked and what did not in transforming a hurting heart into a loving heart. With each negative issue, I asked God to show me why I reacted unlovingly and how I needed to change. God showed me how to heal the hurts and offenses in my heart with the truth in the Bible, using specific prayer requests outlined next. This process is described in detail on my website hopeforcompletehealing.com.

For each negative issue, I asked God to:

Uncover repressed painful memories that caused the offense. Then I asked Him to heal the image and to help me forgive those involved. If you struggle with forgiving, please read WHY SHOULD I FORGIVE.
Identify the unhealthy beliefs created by the painful memory that lead to wrong thinking, and replace them with the truth. For more details, read UNHEALTHY BELIEFS PART 1: What are they and where do they come from?
Reveal strongholds that protect the painful memories and unhealthy beliefs from being healed. To understand what strongholds are, read STRONGHOLDS PART I—What are they and how do they affect us?
Uncover generational curses and sins that prevent the transformation of dysfunctional patterns.
Eliminate the oppressive spirits associated with the painful memories. Oppressive spirits create negative energy and wrong beliefs, which attract more offenses and pain. I discovered that when I did not eliminate them, they rebuilt the stronghold again.

Now, I look in the mirror and see a happy, emotionally healthy, and content woman, not a hurting, lonely, and unlovable little girl. When you view yourself in the mirror, what do you want to see?

Ultimately, the Bible is the most important book to read for complete healing and transformation of our minds, hearts, and health. 2 Corinthians 4:16 states, “Do not lose heart, though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.” Ephesians 4:23 and Colossians 3:10 tell us to renew our minds to reflect the image of God, which can only happen when we read the Bible.

Furthermore, for our prayers to be effective, we need to have a right relationship with God, because it is God who ultimately heals and transforms us. If you have issues with God, I would ask that you choose to believe He wants to heal your hurts and give you a new life. This begins with spiritual healing by believing and confessing that Jesus Christ is God the Son, who died on the cross to pay the debt for sin and who forgives our sins and frees us from sins control (See Jn 1:29; 1 Jn 4:15; 1 Pet 1:18-19; Col 1:14; & Gal 5:1). When we confess this with our mouth and believe it with our heart, then God the Holy Spirit enters our hearts and fills us with the love, life, and light of Jesus (See Gal 4:6 & 1 Cor 6:17). If you have not made this confession, then do it now to begin the transformational healing process (See Rom 10:9-13 & Eph 2:1-10). Moreover, we are transformed by the love of God the Father as we stay close to Him and trust Him to transform our lives according to His truth. See John 17:17.

Our sin, especially pride, also blocks our prayers from reaching God. Psalms 66:18 states, “If I have cherished sin in my heart, the Lord will not hear.” Isaiah 59:2 states, “But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden His face from you, so that he will not hear.” To know if you have sin, ask God to search your heart and mind. Jeremiah 17:9-10 states, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? 10) ‘I the LORD search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.’” (Also see Revelations 2:23.) But we can become free from sin by confessing it to God. 1 John 1:9 tells us, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Becoming self-controlled: Self-control and Maturity and The Link Between Disappointment, Resentment, and Self-control and How to be Self-controlled in What We Say

Becoming free from anxiety disorder: Why, What, and How to Submit to God and be FREE

Becoming free from pride and negative feelings: The Core Negative Heart Issue

All verses are from the English Standard Version. If you find my posts and website helpful, please share this link with your friends and family: hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright-protected. Please do not reproduce any part of the posts or my book without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom and this website.

My latest book is Unlocking God’s Promises, which explains 18 categories of promises that are relevant to each of our lives. It also includes the promises in Psalm 91.

If you find this website helpful, you would like to read Breaking Mental Strongholds, which expands on my website book and includes many of my posts.

Additionally, consider my book Fighting Unseen Battles, which describes the many unhealthy beliefs that control our lives and what the truths are. To learn more about this book, read the post How to Fight Unseen Battles.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com and ask for a PDF of Eight Life-Changing Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, the 23rd Psalm, and victory. I will also send you the Lord’s Prayer Model to pray effectively. Please leave your name, so I know you are a real person making the request.

12 JOY Stealers

I suffered from all 12 joy stealers. In fact, I was so miserable that my husband often threatened to call me “ce” instead of Joyce (true story), which I explained in my last two posts about suffering well. For many of us, we do not suffer well. We tend to perpetuate the painful memories by reliving the pain that robs us of joy in our present lives. The links to my last two posts are: 7 Ways to Suffer Well: (Part 1) and Joseph, an Example of Suffering Well and God’s Response: Part 2 of Suffering Well

12 JOY STEALERS

Sadness: sorrow about the loss of love, honor, respect, innocence, and not being accepted. It is a feeling of dejection, which is a low spirit of depression and discouragement.

Depression: brooding on one’s problems

Apathy: absence or suppression of passion, emotion, or excitement (I don’t care attitude)

Despair: loss of hope

Discouragement: having no courage, confidence, or hope

Grief: keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss

Hopelessness: having no expectation of a favorable outcome

Despondency: being in very low spirits due to a loss of hope and a sense of futility about continuing one’s efforts

Misery: a condition of great suffering because of pain, poverty, etc.; distress

Feeling Inferior: below average; low status, rank, etc.

Feeling Worthless: without worth; of no use, importance, or value

Complaining attitude: to express dissatisfaction, pain, uneasiness, censure, resentment, or grief; find fault

I spoke with an elderly man who spent his whole life reliving his past hurts. Have you ever been around people who have to tell you how bad they had it and the terrible things that happened in their lives? How does that make you feel? Do you relive your past hurts and disappointments? I, too, suffered a lot of hurts, disappointments, abuses, rejections, betrayals, etc., which was why I had no joy and was always angry. I didn’t like living with myself, and I made everyone else miserable. My website, hopeforcompeletehealing.com, contains my story and how I discovered the secret to overcoming these 12 joy stealers, plus so much more.

I asked the elderly man what the purpose was of telling us these terrible things. He said he can’t get them out of his head. I told him the first step was to forgive each person who caused him pain, and then to ask God to take that memory out of his head. I overcame my painful memories by doing this. In fact, just today, I was complaining again. By the way, complaining is a symptom of a painful memory. So, I asked God to show me why I was complaining. I waited until God brought the memories to my mind of how my father often let me down. Next, I forgave my father and asked God to loose (untie and remove) the negative effect of each memory from my mind related to the unmet expectations and the resulting disappointment. This process is explained in detail on my website. I invite you to visit my site to learn more. https://hopeforcompletehealing.com

This man, and many people, are only focused on what they don’t like and the bad things that happened, and they remain stuck in misery. Do you see yourself stuck in the pit of depression and misery? Maybe you feel sad, humiliated, or ashamed, which is stealing your joy. See the following page to transform these negative heart issues with transformation truth: JOY Issues

You may also be interested in reading my story of Freedom from Humiliation and Mental Strongholds of Shame and Sadness

My latest book is Unlocking God’s Promises, which explains 18 categories of promises that are relevant to each of our lives. It also includes the promises in Psalm 91.

If you find this website helpful, you would like to read Breaking Mental Strongholds, which expands on my website book and includes many of my posts.

Freedom from Insecurity, which is Protected by Betrayal and Control Strongholds

We all have some measure of insecurity, whether we realize it or not, because we live with and work with sinful, hurting people who hurt others, and we are not exempt. Insecurities are revealed by the negative reactions when they are triggered by what someone says, does, or does not do. For example, if someone found fault with me or with what I did, I would have an anxiety attack, and feel they didn’t like me, and that I will never be good enough. If someone did not give me the praise for doing something, then I would feel rejected and unappreciated, etc. Another example is when I would suggest doing something or going somewhere, and I would be ignored or discounted, then I would get angry and feel sorry for myself because I didn’t feel valued so I withdrew or acted out of anger to get control. Insecurities are also revealed by the negative tapes that are automatically played out when we feel out of control or discounted. The negative tapes could be, “I’ll never be accepted because I am different,” “I’ll never be able to accomplish anything because people don’t support me,” “What is wrong with me?” etc. Have you ever heard yourself say, “I can’t do this because…,” “This is too hard,” I’m not good enough,” “People can’t be trusted,” “I need to do this myself,” etc.

The strongholds of injustice and unfairness contribute to issues of betrayal and wanting to be in control. This is not uncommon with people who have been abused or grew up in dysfunctional families. I struggled with the control stronghold for several years, even though I would continually loose and put it off. I wanted to control what people did and what they thought of me, as well as control circumstances in order to prevent being hurt, disappointed, or even annoyed. I asked God why I kept dealing with this control issue, and He showed me that there was an outer mental stronghold of betrayal that protected my need to be controlling. The betrayal stronghold was built and kept in place by negative memories of betrayal by those who should have protected and loved me. These painful memories of betrayal developed insecurities, which are basically unhealthy beliefs and lies that perpetuates anxiety about what others do, not do, or think and say. For instance, I trusted that my parents, my spouse, and friends would love me and not hurt me, or lie to me, but they did. As a result, I disassociated and disconnected because I felt that I was not able to trust them. Note, some people should not be trusted and that is okay. Dictionary.com defines betray as 2) to be unfaithful in guarding, maintaining, or fulfilling; be disloyal to.

I believe there is no greater injustice than the betrayal of one’s sexuality because it wounds the soul the deepest. I also believe that the betrayal of sexuality causes the most damage to our self-esteem and self-worth because God created sexuality to be a beautiful act of vulnerability between two married people who love each other. And because our sexuality is an intimate part of us, any childhood sexual interference such as pornography, exposure to sexual acts (even in a movie), fondling, uncomfortable affection, making a child take on the role of a spouse, adult humor, and so on, damages the very core of a child or teen’s being. This causes a person to feel confusion, shame, and humiliation, which then causes sexual violation secrets to be carefully guarded and deeply buried in the soul. These buried secrets continue to have a profound effect on how a person see’s themselves and others. I have known people who had great difficulty having a healthy marriage because of these secrets. A lot of books have been written about this topic and are a good resource if you have these buried secrets. Talking with a counselor is also very helpful but I want to caution you to be careful what counselor you choose to share your sexual violation secrets with. Not every counselor or pastor understands the damage of sexual betrayal and they may cause more confusion and betrayal.

Total healing and transformation happen only when we come to Jesus with our damaged sexuality and allow Him to restore our purity and respect. This is a supernatural act of healing that is received by faith. In fact, all painful memories of betrayal of all kinds can be healed, which in turn, heal insecurities and the need to be controlling. This can be done by going through the prayer format to destroy strongholds found on my website: hopeforcompletehealing.com

The above statements are passages from my book called “Unseen Battles for Your Mind,” which is in the editing stage, and therefore, is not to be recopied without my permission.

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

Anger Issues Protected by Pride and Judgmental Strongholds

The pride and judgmental strongholds in my life protected many issues of anger generated from the humiliation, shame, injustices, betrayals, disappointments, and rejections throughout my life. If you are unfamiliar with what mental strongholds are and my castle illustration, please read the following post first; STRONGHOLDS PART I—What are they and how do they affect us?

The reason why we need to deal with this stronghold combination is so we can love as God loves. To love well, we need to eliminate the sins of anger, bitterness, resentment, hatred, judging, and pride. These sins prevent God’s love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness (humility), faithfulness (trust), and self-control from flowing out of us to others.

People with this stronghold combination typically were either bullied or come from dysfunctional or abusive families/marriages. I experienced all the above. I found that disappointment and broken trust is the main force that generates the sin of pride and being judgmental. Broken trust comes from betrayal by those who you expected would love and protect you. My pride issues were created by damaged self-worth and low self-esteem and are often revealed by over-sensitivity and over-reaction. You can learn how to heal betrayal issues and repair your damaged self-worth by reading my short book on my website.

For example, as a teenager, I became hurt and offended when my younger sister demeaned me and put me down. I stored that hurt and offense in my heart, so every time I felt demeaned as an adult, I would explode with anger. When I asked God to show me why I was getting so angry, He revealed how my younger sister had offended me. I forgave my sister because I know she demeaned me because she was hurting too. I then confessed any sin on my part to God, which is very important for overcoming anger issues. Our sin needs forgiving because it creates stress in our bodies, and they will re-establish the painful memory. For instance, I confessed and asked for forgiveness of the sin of wanting to harm my sister and for demeaning and disgracing her in return.

The pride stronghold wall protects unhealthy beliefs such as—I am better than you. Don’t tell me I am wrong. Don’t tell me what to do but do what I want. The pride wall protects the inner judgmental wall that protects unhealthy beliefs of—I have the right to determine if you are right, wrong, or insincere. I have the right to be angry, bitter, resentful, and hateful. I don’t trust you or value you. The judgmental stronghold wall then protects the anger seat of authority, which holds all our memories of hurts, disappointments, unmet needs and desires, offenses, soul wounds, bitterness, resentments, and hatred. These memories produce unhealthy beliefs, which control our thoughts, and our thoughts dictate what we say and do.

Another reason why we need to destroy this stronghold combination is because God hates pride (Prov. 8:13; James 4:6), and anger does not achieve the righteousness of God, only peace and humility does (James 1:20; 3:18), which is why I wanted to be free. We are also instructed to not be judgmental (Matthew 7:1). I hope and pray that if you have this same issue that you too will find freedom, so you can love from a pure heart. To learn how to be free from anger and this stronghold combination, please visit my website, you will be glad you did. https://hopeforcompletehealing.com/

Anger issues are also entwined in the Impatience stronghold combination; read the following post: Freedom from Impatience and Strongholds of Injustice and Unfairness

To begin reading my book, start here: 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

Related Posts:

Why, What, and How to Submit to God

Free from Anger–County Jail Testimony and Teaching

The Core Negative Heart Issue

WHY HEAL YOUR HEART AND PURIFY YOUR SOUL?

Five Steps to Heal Your Heart and Purify Your Soul

Bondage to Unseen Controls

HOW PRIDE DESTROYS

All verses are from the English Standard Version. If you find my posts and website helpful, please share this link with your friends and family: hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected. Please do not reproduce any part of the posts or my book without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom and this website.

My latest book is Unlocking God’s Promises, which explains 18 categories of promises that are relevant to each of our lives. It also includes the promises in Psalm 91.

If you find this website helpful, you would like to read Breaking Mental Strongholds, which expands on my website book and includes many of my posts.

STRONGHOLDS—What Are They and How Do They Affect You

I knew I had a stronghold issue by the negative behavior patterns that would control my reactions to situations. Mental strongholds are unknown to our conscious mind until we seek God to reveal them. In addition, mental strongholds often come in pairs to ensure we remain in bondage to our unhealthy beliefs and wrong thinking. Also, I learned that mental strongholds protect seats of authority, much like castle walls protect a ruler’s throne. The authority seat holds beliefs that rule our lives by controlling what we think, and thoughts dictate what we say, and do. Now imagine having many double-walled castles in your heart, and each one protects a seat of authority that rules your thoughts. Go to my website to learn more about each of the following stronghold combinations and how to destroy them.

–Authority seat of anxiety is protected by the strongholds of worry and fear.
–Authority seat of insecurity is protected by the strongholds of control and betrayal.
–Authority seat of disappointment is protected by the strongholds of apathy and rejection.
–Authority seat of insignificance is protected by the strongholds of rejection and misplaced approval.
–Authority seat of humiliation is protected by the strongholds of shame and sadness.
–Authority seat of impatience is protected by the strongholds of injustice and unfairness.
–Authority seat of anger is protected by the strongholds of pride and judgment.
–Authority seat of doubt is protected by the strongholds of rebellion and independence.
–Authority seat of deception (lying) is protected by the strongholds of protection and manipulation.
–Authority seat of oppression is protected by the strongholds of irresponsibility and infirmity.
–Authority seat of escapism is protected by the strongholds of loneliness and discontentment.
–Authority seat of desire is protected by the strongholds of pleasure and addictions.

Tearing down strongholds, especially addiction strongholds, requires that we can hear from God. To hear from God, we need to be in a right relationship with God. Please visit my website to learn more about how you can be right with God and to be free from the bondage of the above stronghold combinations.

All verses are from the English Standard Version. If you find my posts and website helpful, please share this link with your friends and family: hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected. Please do not reproduce any part of the posts or my book without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom and this website.

My latest book is Unlocking God’s Promises, which explains 18 categories of promises that are relevant to each of our lives. It also includes the promises in Psalm 91.

If you find this website helpful, you would like to read Breaking Mental Strongholds, which expands on my website book and includes many of my posts.

Addiction Strongholds

Do you know that everyone has an addiction? Do you know what your addiction is? We may not be aware of our addiction, but we all have them. I found that I was addicted to the adrenaline of anger and the depressant of sadness. I explain this in greater detail on my website: www.hopeforcompletehealing.com. Addiction is a self-protective mechanism that inhibits painful feelings and memories. My book on my website explains how we can become free from our addictions and the key to breaking those strongholds. This post is not an exhaustive examination of what addictions are but an inquiry into what addictions we may have and not even realize it.

Most people think an addiction has to do with smoking, drugs, or alcohol and it does. Webster’s dictionary says that an addiction is a habit or practice, especially a bad habit. For example, are you in the habit of watching hours of TV every night, playing video games for hours, eating ice cream before going to bed, spending hours on social media, etc. These things are not necessarily bad habits in and of themselves. But they are bad in the sense that they rob the person of the freedom to not do it. Try to fast a day or even a week, something you are in the habit of doing. I feel compelled to watch the news every day, all day if I could. If I miss a day, I become distracted about what I may be missing? Do you feel the same or have a similar habit you are compelled to do?

The bad habit or practice may rob the person of quality family time, being productive, good health, strong relationships, etc. For some of us, like myself, I craved approval and if I did not get it I became depressed and angry. Some of us are addicted to worry, in which we can’t help ourselves, we just can’t stop worrying. How about shopping, eating too much, sweets, anger, pornography, sex, tobacco use, etc.? Do you see where you may have an addiction? Is there something you can’t possibly give up or you cannot stop doing? Often a person has more than one addiction.

For example, I had a serious addiction to anger. I could not control it; it controlled me, and I was very embarrassed by it. I was angry about everything, and it was destroying my family. I had to find a way to break my anger addiction. Christian people would say that anger and rage are a sin and to repent, and I would agree. But when an issue controls your behavior then you have a mental stronghold. To learn more about strongholds read: STRONGHOLDS PART I—What are they and how do they affect us?

I do want to note that I began my research with my own experience and how I recovered from many negative heart issues that controlled my behavior. I was healed of many trauma memories from abuse that lead to various addictions. I have shared my experience of freedom with many women that come to my county jail Bible study, and I have seen incredible transformations in their lives. One of the women had an addiction to lying, which caused her to extort money from people, which then landed her in the state pen. I watched her work through her issues that influenced her addiction to lying. These women have the hope of being free from their addictions and living a healthy life for the sake of their children and grandchildren.

Furthermore, all addictions have a compulsion element, a pleasure element, and a regret element. Regret is the element that indicates a person has a destructive addiction. You might say, “I wish I would not do that.” Or, “I want to stop but I can’t help myself.” What are your regretful comments? There is hope.

Begin today to read my short book about how I found freedom from many negative heart issues that lead to my addictions: 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories