Thinking and Beliefs – Page 6 – Hope for Complete Healing

How to Diminish the Distrust Belief to Enlarge Trust

Do you distrust people or just certain people? Do you distrust God? Why? In this post, you will learn why you distrust and then learn how to diminish the distrust belief. Because my first marriage was abusive, I had to learn to trust again. I didn’t even trust myself because I lacked self-control, but more on that in another post. When I began dating my present husband, I wanted to test his sincerity, so I set a boundary of no kissing. I wanted to know if he respected boundaries and respected me. I also did not want to become sexually involved, which kissing usually leads to. We dated for a year and did not kiss one time, and then he asked me to marry him. My response was, “Well, you haven’t given me a reason to say no.” What a way to say “yes.”

My website is about changing unhealthy beliefs to experience a new reality. What we think and say comes from what we believe, and what we believe directs our behavior. Our choices determine how healthy our relationships will be. In this series of posts, I will expose the unhealthy beliefs that control our lives and how to transform them with the truth to experience a new reality.

What is Trust to Understand the Distrust Belief

Trust is to have confidence in and be able to rely on someone else, especially in God. An honest person does not lie, cheat, or steal. A trustworthy person is someone who is loyal and will be faithful and dependable. A dependable person can be relied on and is predictable. We all want fidelity in our relationships, which is a faithful devotion to duty or one’s obligations or vows. We are more likely to be submissive (yield to the actions, control, power, and so on) when we trust those in authority over us. Also, peace and love thrive in a trusting environment.

As you read the above paragraph about trust, a few painful memories may have been triggered, reinforcing the distrust belief. I have written several posts on this subject that you will find helpful.

Pt. 1: Forsaken ? Betrayed? How to Trust Again.

Pt. 3: Seven Markers of a Trustworthy Person

TRUST Leads to PEACE

Where Does the Distrust Belief Come From?

Children naturally want to trust people. They believe what they are told is the truth until they feel betrayed when their expectations are not met. Unhealthy beliefs develop in childhood when we go through a painful experience. The painful experience could be not getting something we wanted, so we develop the unhealthy belief that we are not loved. As adults, we still resort to the same false belief when our self-centered expectations go unmet. When our expectations are not met, then we develop distrust because we can’t trust the person to do what we expect.

As human beings created in the image of God, we possess the same emotions and expectations as God. We feel love and give love in an emotionally healthy environment that is free from sin. Unfortunately, we were also born with a sinful nature that causes us instinctively to be self-centered individuals. As sinners, we seek to please our fleshly desires. So, a child will love their parents when they feel loved as their needs and wants are met. But, when a child does not get their sinful desire, wants, or expectations met, they lash out in anger or other sinful behaviors. Immature adults do the same because of unhealthy beliefs.

As adults, we expect our friends and spouses to be loyal, faithful, and truthful. We desire to feel secure in our relationships. But when our loved one lies to us, gossips, slanders, is abusive (physically, emotionally, or mentally), or cheats on us, we feel betrayed and develop justifiable mistrust. No one likes to confront a person for sinful behavior that is ruining the relationship. Still, it is necessary to remove the source of emotional pain and forgive for the relationship to heal.

The distrust belief causes us not to trust God. I wrote several posts on this topic as well that will be helpful to read.

Pt. 2: Why You Can a nd Cannot Trust God?

Trust God to Keep His Promises

15 Promises We Can Trust God to Keep

HOPE: How it Motivates and Inspires BUT God’s Sovereignty…

How To Change Unhealthy Beliefs

1. To transform unhealthy beliefs, recognize you have them. Listen to what you are saying and pay attention to your thoughts and feelings.

2. Submit the wrong thinking to God and ask Him to show you the truth and give you the grace and courage to transform them.

3. Ask God to show you if there is a painful memory controlling your thoughts and decisions.

4. Pray and put off the unhealthy belief controlling your thoughts and put on the truth God shows you from His Word.

I first loosed the wrong thinking that God showed me and replaced it with scripture truths like the following:

It is safe to trust God and do what is good, and He will direct me. Ps. 37:3-5
I can trust God’s faithfulness to be a shield around me as I put my trust in Him, and I will not be afraid. Ps. 91:4; 56:4,11
Trust believes God does good things, and I don’t need to be troubled, for He is my salvation. John 14:1; Isa. 25:9
I can be trusted, and I am faithful with what God has given me. Lk. 16:10
I can trust and believe my life has a purpose, and God has a plan for my life, which gives me hope. Jer. 29:11-14
As I trust in God, He is my refuge, and His unfailing love and favor surround me. Ps. 32:10; 7:1; 5:12
When I trust and believe in Jesus, I will not be disappointed. Rom. 9:33; I Peter 2:6b
I will not put my hope in the uncertainty of riches but in God, who richly supplies me with all things to enjoy. I Tim. 6:17; Phil 4:19
I am blessed when I trust and hope in the Lord, and I make Him my confidence. Jer. 17:7

HOW MEMORIES INFLUENCE OUR THINKING, EMOTIONS, AND BEHAVIOR

All verses are from the English Standard Bible unless otherwise indicated. If you find my posts and website helpful, please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected. No part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom and this website.

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Diminish the “Self-centered” Belief to Expand Goodness (Other-centered)

Being self-centered looks different for each person. According to my experience, a self-centered person is concerned more about themselves and lacks empathy for others. Someone who complains and argues and criticizes is self-centered. Addicts and criminals are classic examples of being self-centered; they have no concern for those they hurt. Even shy and depressed people are self-centered because they are focused on themselves and their shame, guilt, inadequacies, and feeling devalued. I learned that narcissism falls under self-centeredness.

Self-centered people find it difficult to give or share with others, in-other-words, be good to people and value their interests. They are good at controlling and manipulating people to get them to do what they want. For example, when I didn’t get what I thought I needed or wanted, I would become angry and destructive to get what I wanted. As God has been transforming my mind by His Word, and as I submit my will to Him and put off arrogant pride, I have become less self-centered and able to value the needs of others. If everyone were honest, they would acknowledge they struggle with being self-centered and with selfishness. If you want to learn more, read this article: https://drmichaelmcgee.com/self-centeredness/. Dr. McGee is part of the Well Mind Community. Though this article is not Christ-focused, it does give another perspective.

What is Goodness?

Goodness is humbly considering others’ interests and needs, as well as your own. Goodness is the desire to help others and often sacrificially help others, even those you think do not deserve it. Good people do what is right and honorable in all situations and are morally excellent. You can only be truly good when you love others as Christ loves them. Many people think they are good people when they compare themselves with other people who do bad things.

Those who grew up in dysfunctional homes with self-centered, sinful people did not learn goodness by example. If goodness does not come naturally to you, seek God to show you the painful memories of past hurts and humiliations because those memories control your thoughts, beliefs, and behavior. Painful memories develop self-protective beliefs discussed in the last post. Self-centeredness is a form of self-protection because you don’t believe others have your best interest in mind.

The story about the good Samaritan demonstrates goodness (Luke 10:25-34). To learn more about goodness, please read Part 1: How to Achieve Genuine Goodness.

How To Change Unhealthy Beliefs

1. To transform unhealthy beliefs, recognize you have them. Listen to what you are saying and pay attention to your thoughts. Being mindful of your thoughts helps you acknowledge and let go of negative ruminations about the past and anxious thoughts about the future. Meditate instead on how to solve your problems or submit them to God if they are outside your control

2. Submit the wrong thinking to God and ask Him to show you the truth.

3. Ask God to show you if there is a painful memory controlling your thoughts and decisions.

4. Pray and put off the unhealthy belief controlling your thoughts and put on the truth God shows you from His Word.

I first loosed the wrong thinking that God showed me and replaced it with scripture truths like the following:

When I do what is good, I will receive glory, honor, and peace. Rom. 2:10; 13:3b

Because of God’s goodness to and in me, I can be good to those who mistreat or hate me. Luke 6:27; Matt. 5:44; Ps. 25:4-7; 31:19

I can look out for other people’s interests above my own (Phil. 2:14) and please others for their good. Rom. 15:2

I am ready for every good deed, to malign no one, be peaceable, gentle, and show every consideration (true humility) for everyone. Titus 3:1,2

I can give a blessing instead of returning evil for evil and seek to do good to all people. 1 Pet. 3:9; 1 Thes. 5:15

After I received Jesus as my Savior (saved from sin and God’s wrath); He began a good work in me, and He will complete it (Phil. 1:6). I am His workmanship, created for good works. Eph. 2:10; Phil. 2:12b,13

I know I have goodness when my mouth speaks what is good (Matt. 12:34b,35), which is the fruit of the Spirit and Light in me (Gal. 5:22) along with righteousness and truth (Eph. 5:7-10). I am known by my fruit (Matt. 7:20) and engage in good deeds to meet pressing needs. Titus 3:14

I will not lose heart in doing good, knowing I will be rewarded. When I have the opportunity, I will be good to all people, especially to those belonging to the family of God. Gal. 6:9,10; Eh. 6:7,8

HOW MEMORIES INFLUENCE OUR THINKING, EMOTIONS, AND BEHAVIOR

WHY HEAL YOUR HEART AND PURIFY YOUR SOUL?

Five Steps to Heal Your Heart and Purify Your Soul

How to Weed out the Protection Belief and Grow Kindness

Why do we have a strong urge to protect ourselves? What are some things we are protecting? For example, most of us want to protect our reputations, physical comfort, egos, heart, and so on. But, if you are in a physically abusive situation, you need to protect yourself and seek a safe place to go. Often, we do not help someone because we fear for our safety, especially in a high-crime area. That kind of protection is reasonable. Unhealthy protection develops because of emotional pain. When we set up walls to protect our hearts, it also prevents us from showing kindness, and I will explain why.

Every experience we have in life affects our perspective going forward. Our perspectives create healthy and unhealthy beliefs. For example, if someone wearing a black ski hat robs you, that will change how you view everyone wearing a black ski hat. Do you see what I mean? My website is about changing unhealthy beliefs to experience a new reality. What we think and say comes from what we believe, which directs our attitudes and behaviors. Our choices determine how healthy our relationships will be. In this series of posts, I will expose the unhealthy beliefs that control our lives and how to transform them with the truth to experience a new reality.

What is the purpose of protective beliefs?

I can only speak for myself, but my experience should be similar to many others if I am like the typical human. My unhealthy protection belief began very early because I grew up in a volatile, unstable home, so I had to protect myself to survive my childhood. I will not discuss the many ways we protect ourselves because there are many ways. Let God show you and ask Him to heal the painful memories that developed your protective behaviors.

Protecting our hurting hearts is similar to putting a cast on a broken arm. The cast protects the arm so it can heal. But once the arm mends, the cast has to come off; otherwise, your arm can’t grow normally because of the restriction. In the same way, we need protection while our hearts heal, but if we don’t remove those protections, it will cripple our ability to show love and kindness.

The biblical truths I share in this post are difficult to apply in our strength, especially when we are hurting from an evil done against us. We need to depend on Christ’s strength through His Spirit in us. Ephesians 3:16 states, “According to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being.” Applying these truths through Christ Jesus’s strength and power will remove the restrictive protection beliefs so you can be free to love and be kind.

Where Does the Protection Belief Come From and What is the Truth that Transforms it?

When you are in an unfriendly environment (i.e., work, home, school, and so on), you feel the need to set up boundaries to protect yourself, which may be necessary. We often avoid the unfriendly person or hide, so we do not have to interact with the unkind or hostile person. You may not see the unkind person as an enemy, but dictionary.com (11/06/2021) defines an enemy as “a person who feels hatred for, fosters harmful designs against, or engages in antagonistic activities against another; an adversary or opponent.” Read my post about how to set healthy boundaries: Healthy Boundaries for Toxic Emotions and People.

The truth: Luke 6:35-36 states, “But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. ³⁶Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.”

Fear causes us to develop an unhealthy protection belief, especially irrational fear like prepping, which is preparing for something that may never happen. I have to confess, I have a touch of that myself, especially with the fear that Biden’s vax-mandate will crash our economy when essential workers walk off the job, then we can’t buy food or other essentials (irrational fear, I know). But will my fear prevent me from showing kindness to my neighbor who is hungry and needs food? To learn how to overcome fear, read HOW FEAR CONTROLS YOU! – ANXIETY: Protected by Worry and Fear Strongholds

The truth: Hebrews 13:16 states, “Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.” And Philippians 4:5-7 states, “Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Betrayal causes us to protect ourselves. I feel betrayed when the people I thought should have loved and protected me are unkind and cruel. We protect our hearts to prevent being betrayed again. Sexual abuse and adultery, I believe, are the worst kind of betrayals. Being betrayed leads to trust and anger issues, which are forms of protection to keep people at a distance. Read my post about how to overcome betrayal: Pt. 1: Forsaken? Betrayed? How to Trust Again.

The truth: Ephesians 4:31-32 states, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. ³²Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

The protection belief generates trust issues. When you are hurt or offended by an unkind word, a breakup, an unfair action, ostracized from a group, criticism, and so on, you naturally protect your heart from being hurt again. This type of protection often results in passive-aggressive behaviors and depression. Unfortunately, we live in an evil world of hurting people who do evil to others. Ask God to show you the ways you were or are hurtful. One of the definitions of evil is being harmful or detrimental (dictionary.com). You can read my post on overcoming trust issues here.

The truth: 1Peter 3:9-11 states, “Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. ¹⁰For ‘Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it.’” And Romans 12:17-18 states, “Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. ¹⁸If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”

A person spreading gossip or who is lying about you produces self-protection reactions. Anytime there is lying, it destroys reputations and relationships. A person who lies, gossips, or slanders has insecurity issues and is easily controlled by the devil. You can learn how to overcome insecurity by reading this post: Freedom from Insecurity, which is Protected by Betrayal and Control Strongholds

The truth: 2Timothy 2:24-26 states, “And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.”

Conclusion:

All the situations described above cause painful memories and protection beliefs. These painful memories reinforce our need to protect ourselves for years to come. The protection beliefs prevent us from showing genuine kindness to people, especially to those we feel don’t deserve it. Only through the strength and power of the Holy Spirit in us can we overcome and transform the protective strongholds in our lives. The e-book on my website will help you overcome painful memories and unhealthy beliefs. Begin reading 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

How To Change Unhealthy Beliefs

1. To transform unhealthy beliefs, recognize you have them. Listen to what you are saying and pay attention to your thoughts. Ask God to search your heart and mind to reveal your unhealthy beliefs.

2. Submit the wrong thinking to God and ask Him to show you the truth.

3. Ask God to show you if there is a painful memory controlling your thoughts and decisions.

4. Pray and put off the unhealthy belief controlling your thoughts and put on the truth God shows you from His Word.

KINDNESS Issues

How to Decrease Fairness Belief to Increase Patience

“They are not doing their fair share (whine).” When you think of fairness, what comes to your mind? Fairness can be equality, impartiality, justice, and doing what is right. The problem with the unhealthy belief that everything should be fair is that each person has a different perspective of what is a just and equitable action or behavior. What I think is equal, impartial, or fair may not be what you think. So, patience is necessary for those times when your expectation of what you think is fair is not realized. The only one who is truly just is God, yet many people do not trust that He is fair because of this harmful belief. God is righteous and will always do what is right according to His holiness, though we may not understand it.

“Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne; steadfast love and faithfulness go before you.” – Psalm 89:14

“The LORD works righteousness and justice for all who are oppressed.” – Psalm 103:6

“Blessed are they who observe justice, who do righteousness at all times!” – Psalm 106:3

“To do righteousness and justice is more acceptable to the LORD than sacrifice.” – Proverbs 21:3

“Evil men do not understand justice, but those who seek the LORD understand it completely.” – Proverbs 28:5

Where Does the Unhealthy Fairness Belief Come From?

Let’s look at our opening statement. “They are not doing their fair share (whine).” Or “They are not pulling their fair share of the work.” Can you hear the judgmental whine? I’m not making fun because I have said that plenty of times. So, the source of the fairness belief begins with comparison and thinking we are doing more than someone else, or have less than someone else, and so on. For example, if you have a liberal mindset, you think the conservatives are not being just and impartial. The conservatives think that the views of the liberals are unjust and not right. It is all a matter of point of view or bias.

Another source is unmet expectations. When we expect that the workload will be shared, yet we think we are doing more work than the other person, they may be thinking they are doing more work than you. You might think you are not getting a fair price, but the other person thinks they are giving you a fair deal. So, fairness is a matter of perspective, which is often based on our self-centered pride. Again, we see the ugly head of pride in yet another unhealthy belief. Pride demands justice and fairness especially when it benefits our self-centered desires. Only when we are humble can we be patient when our standard of fairness and justice is not achievable.

A complaining attitude instead of a thankful attitude also breeds the unhealthy fairness belief of inequality. So, be grateful instead of comparing yourself with someone else and what they are doing or not doing or have that you don’t have.

So, why should we be patient when we feel wronged, and what is patience?

Patience is the evidence of love (1Cor.13:4). When we love others, we are right with God because we love as He loves. John 15:12-14 states, “This is my commandment that you love one another as I have loved you. ¹³ Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life [selfish pride] for his friends. ¹⁴ You are my friends if you do what I command you.” Also, 1John 4:8 states, “Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.”

The following definitions of patience come from Webster’s dictionary. Patience is bearing or enduring pain, trouble, inconvenience, etc., without complaint, losing self-control, making a disturbance, etc. To be forbearing: tolerate (to put up with). Keep oneself in check. It is refusing to be provoked or angered, as by an insult or frustration. And, it is merciful: compassionate or kindly forbearance shown toward an offender, an enemy, or person in one’s power. Lastly, patience is being just: living with a moral principle that determines right conduct and fairness by treating all sides alike.

The Truth That Transforms the Unhealthy Fairness Belief

First, accept that life is not fair, and fairness is arbitrary, which is why we need to be humble and patient with one another.

Second, ask God to reveal if you have resentment toward an unfair action in your past that is related to the offense you have taken in your current situation. For example, when I was a teenager, I felt it was unfair that I had to spend hours doing the dishes that everyone piled up. I became resentful of my sisters because I felt they were dirtying too many dishes. Fast forward to a few years ago; I still resented having to do the dishes. I had my sons take turns doing the dishes, and then they moved out. I talked to my husband about my resentment and asked if he would help, which he did reluctantly, but he often wouldn’t help at all. The truth that set me free from my irrational fairness belief was that I am called to serve others in love as Jesus came to serve.

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. ⁴ Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. ⁵ Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, ⁶who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, ⁷but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.” – Philippians 2:3-7

“For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh [selfish-pride], but through love serve one another.” – Galatians 5:13

Third, instead of stewing about something you feel is unfair, talk to the person involved in the comparison. Calmly state your observation or point of view, then ask for the other person’s point of view on the situation with a humble attitude. Ask if you can work out a more equitable situation to reduce frustration for both of you. If the other person does not see your perspective, then be patient with them.

How To Change Unhealthy Beliefs

1. To transform unhealthy beliefs, recognize you have them. Listen to what you are saying and pay attention to your thoughts.

2. Submit the wrong thinking to God and ask Him to show you the truth.

3. Ask God to show you if you have a painful memory or resentment controlling your thoughts and decisions.

4. Pray and put off the unhealthy belief controlling your thoughts and put on the truth God shows you from His Word.

I first loosed the wrong thinking that God showed me and replaced it with scripture truths like the following:

Being patient shows wisdom. It is to my glory to overlook an offense and not be prideful and arrogant. Prov. 19:11; Eccl. 7:8b
Being patient calms a quarrel, but anger stirs up strife, so I put off my anger and wanting things my way. Prov 15:18
I can be patient with everyone and accept them. And not complain about them but to forgive them as Christ is patient with me and forgives me. 1 Thes. 5:14b; Col. 3:12b,13
I trust God to give me what I truly need in His perfect, divine timing. Phil. 4:19; Luke 12:22-34
I can be humble, gentle, patient, and show tolerance for others in love. Eph. 4:2

A POWERFUL MOOD CHANGER

What is Wrong with Fairness?

How Patience is a Sign of Maturity

WHY HEAL YOUR HEART AND PURIFY YOUR SOUL?

Love From a Pure Heart

How to Eliminate the “My Way is Better” Belief to Sustain Peace

Have you ever thought, “My way is the better way,” or do you associate with someone who insists their way is the only way? Any time someone thinks that their idea or belief is better, there will be strife. This thought comes from the unhealthy belief that you are better than the other person, often making the other person tense and annoyed. The evidence is everywhere, especially in our political climate, where the liberals think their way is best and the conservative thinks their way is better. Can you spell conflict. I have come to realize that I am arrogant when I insist on my way. Peace can only be sustained when we humbly listen to each other, seek to be wiser, and value the other person we disagree with.

Where does the “My Way is Better” Belief Come From?

As I write this post, I feel I need to be transparent with you. I had a severe problem with the “It’s my way or the highway” false belief, which caused strife in my family and in myself. Thankfully, I have overcome this unhealthy belief, and now I live in peace with myself and my family. I expected my family to do everything my way, and if they didn’t, I punished them with my anger. I learned that love does not insist on its own way. 1Corinthians 13:4-5 states, “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful.” Before my heart transformation, I could not meet these expectations of love. You can read about my transformation in the post called WHAT IS INNER LIFE TRANSFORMATION? My Story

The root cause of this unhealthy belief is self-centered pride, which stems from not feeling loved in your formative years. Because I did not feel loved, I developed a self-centered pride, which served me well when I wanted to accomplish a goal but not with relationships. And I could not handle criticism because I thought I did the best work, and my ideas were the best. Then, I was very defensive when someone didn’t like my idea or what I did, which caused strife. Do you see this in your life?

Because we live in a sinful, self-centered world with other self-centered people, not one of us can escape painful memories and negative heart issues from not feeling loved. Therefore, we all need an inner life transformation. Unresolved negative issues affect all our relationships and even our destiny. You can expose them by paying attention to what you think, say, and do.

Another source for this unhealthy belief is not trusting that the other person can or will do things the way you want them to be done. Not trusting comes from past disappointments, betrayal, and, again, not feeling loved. When you don’t get the things you want or when things are not done as you expect, you feel disappointed, which then causes anger, or you worry that your needs will not be met, or you won’t get what you want.

An unsuspecting source for this arrogant belief is ungratefulness, which is a sign of self-centered pride. Being thankful requires that we value others and the things they do or say. But when you don’t feel valued or have peace within yourself, you can’t show sincere thankfulness for what others do. Unthankful people are often critical and only see how they can do it better, which destroys peace.

What Is the Truth That Transforms this Unhealthy Belief?

The truth is that we can take every wrong thought and false belief captive and ask God to take it from us. Suppose you want to sustain peace in your relationships and within yourself. In that case, you need to forgive those who did not show you the love you needed or desired, then ask God to put His love into your heart.

Next, ask God to take the self-centered pride from your heart and give you the heart to serve others and value others as more important. Philippians 2:3-5 states, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. ⁴Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. ⁵Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus.” Pray something like this:

Dear Lord, I put off my selfish pride and wanting things my way, and I put on the attitude and belief that I will do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit. I put on Christ’s attitude of humility and count others as more significant than myself. Lord, forgive me for looking to only satisfy my interests at the cost of creating strife and destroying relationships. Please help me not only to look to fulfill my interests but also to value the interests of others.

The truth is that when you want your way and think it is the best way, you don’t care about the other person and their needs and desires. You become jealous when someone gets their way and prevents you from getting what you want or expect. James 3:16-17 states, “For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile (evil; sinful) practice.¹⁷But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.” Therefore, a person who seeks to be wise is also at peace with themselves and those around them. So strive to be humble and sincerely open to reason and other people’s ideas and desires. I can only imagine what the world would be like if everyone in the world would get rid of their self-centered pride and arrogance and humbly value others as more important than themselves.

How To Change Unhealthy Beliefs

1. To transform unhealthy beliefs, recognize you have them. Listen to what you are saying and pay attention to your thoughts.

2. Submit the wrong thinking to God and ask Him to show you the truth.

3. Ask God to show you if there is a painful memory controlling your thoughts and decisions.

4. Pray and put off the unhealthy belief controlling your thoughts and put on the truth God shows you from His Word.

I first loosed the wrong thinking that God showed me and replaced it with scripture truths like the following:

The peace of Christ rules in my heart, and I am thankful. Col. 3:15

I can be at peace with everyone and do good. Rom. 12:18; Heb. 12:14; 1 Pet. 3:11

I can be peaceable, gentle, showing every consideration for others. Titus 3:2

When I make peace, I will be blessed and be called a child of God. Matt. 5:9

I do not think of myself more highly than others, but in humility, I will regard others as more important than myself. Rom. 12:3; Phil. 2:3

The Core Negative Heart Issue

HOW PRIDE DESTROYS

ALL THOUGHTS ARE WITHIN OUR CONTROL

Can You Be Too Heavenly Minded?

The Link Between Disappointment, Resentment, and Self-control

Spiritual Warfare 3: HOW TO BATTLE FOR PEACE

Thoughts That Create Peace Within and Without

Pt. 1: Forsaken? Betrayed? How to trust again.

How to Dig up the Unforgiving Belief to Grow in Love

Is there someone who hurt you that you can’t bring yourself to forgive from your heart? Do you know someone who can’t forgive?” Do you believe the person who wronged you does not deserve forgiveness? I have come to realize that not forgiving is hatred. My website is about changing unhealthy beliefs to experience a new reality. What we think and say comes from what we believe, and what we believe directs our behavior, and our choices determine our destiny. In this series of posts, I will expose the unhealthy beliefs that control our lives and how to transform them with the truth to experience a new reality.

Where Does the Unforgiving Belief Come From?

The root of unforgiveness is resentment. I was offended by the hurtful words and actions of my mother, father, sisters, friends, and so on, which wounded my soul. The wounds began to fester, and resentment grew. When resentment grows, it becomes bitterness and hate.

Have you known an older person who was bitter because of the wounds from their past? We tend to relive the hurts to justify why we can’t forgive, and we give them the power to control our thoughts. As I said earlier, unforgiveness is hatred toward the person who you feel wronged you. Sometimes we are wronged by someone who did not intentionally want to hurt us, but we take offense by something they said or did or something they did not say or do. Does this make sense? Then there are those we thought loved us yet betrayed us. Betrayal creates a deep wound, and the person who betrayed us is the hardest to forgive.

As I seek God to heal the wounds of my soul, He shows me my resentment toward that person or persons whom I have not forgiven. It may be an offense I have forgotten about, but it grew into resentment that controlled my thoughts. The resentment that kept me in bondage was perceived unfair treatment. I say perceived because I felt something was unfair that may not have been unfair. If I thought my sisters had something I didn’t or got to do something I couldn’t, I would become jealous and think it was unfair.

An example could be that your sibling got a gift you liked. Instead of being happy for them, you became envious and thought it was unfair, especially if they didn’t share their gift with you. Resentment begins to take root. Years later, you wonder why your sibling irritates you. Go to God in prayer and ask Him to show you. You don’t need to forgive your sibling or parents because it was their gift, and they didn’t have to share. But you were offended when they did not share, so you still need to forgive them for not sharing.

Another source of unforgiveness is pride. We often don’t want to forgive because we think that forgiving is excusing them, and we would rather punish them. Unfortunately, we are hurting ourselves more by not forgiving because we give the person who hurt us the power to continue to hurt us through our memories. Sometimes we arrogantly think they don’t deserve to be forgiven. The parable of the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18:21-35 is an example of how pride keeps you from forgiving and what the consequence is. Jesus tells the parable when Peter asks, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times (Matthew 18:21-22). When we don’t show mercy and forgive as the servant didn’t, we will remain in bondage until we do forgive. Mathew 18:35 states, “So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”

What Is the Truth That Transforms this Unhealthy Belief?

When we forgive, the power of the offense that controls our thoughts and behavior is removed. You may never forget the painful event, but the memory of that event won’t have power over your thoughts and feelings. You will be free to love and not be in bondage and controlled by hate.

The most important truth is that God forgives us of our sins, so we must forgive others. Otherwise, He will not forgive us. Matthew 6:14-15 states, “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” We are commanded to forgive, so if we don’t, it becomes a sin. If we are not forgiven of our sins, then we risk losing our place in heaven.

Know that Jesus suffered many wrongs and lies, yet He forgave even those who beat and whipped Him and then crucified Him (Luke 23:34). 1Peter 2:21-25 states, “For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. ²² He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. ²³ When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. ²⁴ He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.” God wants to heal the wounds of your soul from the hurt you suffered at the hands of sinners. Aso, ask God to show you how you have sinned against someone and hurt them because of the hurt in your heart.

How To Change Unhealthy Beliefs

1. To transform unhealthy beliefs, recognize you have them. Listen to what you are saying and pay attention to your thoughts.

2. Submit the wrong thinking to God and ask Him to show you the truth.

3. Ask God to show you if there is a painful memory controlling your thoughts and decisions.

4. Pray and put off the unhealthy belief controlling your thoughts and put on the truth God shows you from His Word.

I first loosed the false beliefs that God showed me and replaced it with scripture truths like the following:

I believe in Jesus and receive His forgiveness, and I believe He will help me forgive others who have sinned against me. Acts 10:43
I can forgive for my own sake, and I receive God’s love and put my trust in Jesus, who forgave me and gave me eternal life. John 3:16
I can forgive others who sinned against me, and I accept forgiveness from God for my sins. Matt. 6:14-15
Forgiving heals my heart so that I can be kind and tenderhearted. Eph. 4:31-32
Forgiveness sets me free from painful memories and opens my heart to love. Col. 3:12-14
I surrender my desire to punish, fill my heart with Your love so I can bless those who hurt me. Rom. 12:14
I can control how I respond to every situation. I choose to have compassion for myself and others. Col. 3:12-14

Conclusion:

Resentment grows into hate and bitterness, where unforgiveness is. I learned that forgiving those who mistreated me or did not meet my expectations helped me overcome my hatred and resentment. The key is to acknowledge you have the resentful feeling quickly, ask God to expose the wrong thinking, then put it off. Next, forgive if you need to and put on the truth. The freedom from the power of my painful memories has allowed me to love others from a pure heart. I can write a lot more, but you understand because everyone has experienced the feeling of resentment from an offense. I would love to hear how you overcame this unhealthy belief.

Anger Issues Protected by Pride and Judgmental Strongholds

Freedom from the Spirit of Jealousy

Hope for Lasting Peace, Love, and Victory

#1 Destroyer of All Relationships and the Solution

WHY HEAL YOUR HEART AND PURIFY YOUR SOUL?

How to Recognize and Eliminate Emotional Cancer

How to Eliminate the “Unworthy” Belief to Have Joy

Have you ever thought, “I have no worth?” This unhealthy belief is one of the many false beliefs that alters reality. My website is about changing unhealthy beliefs to experience a new reality. What we think and say comes from what we believe, and what we believe directs our behavior, and our choices determine our destiny. In this series of posts, I will expose the unhealthy beliefs that control our lives and how to transform them with the truth to experience a new reality. Today’s post will help you learn how to transform the “unworthy” belief that makes you sad and depressed so you can have true joy.

Where Does the Unworthy Belief Come From?

The feelings of being unworthy to be loved and valued were the hardest unhealthy belief to transform. This harmful belief is developed in our formative years when our expectations were not met. As a child, you may think that your parents do not value you or love you because they didn’t let you play with so and so, or get you that toy you wanted, or didn’t come to your school event, and so on. You may have forgotten about the disappointment, but the memory still controls your thoughts and beliefs. Remember when you were a pre-teenager? Those were my worst years. It didn’t help that I had learning difficulties, and my family was very poor, so I didn’t have nice clothing like the other girls. I was so insecure and awkward that I didn’t have many friends. I sat alone most days in the lunchroom and on the bus. Then as a young adult and beginning to date, I won’t go there, you know what I mean. The object of your crush has the power to destroy your sense of worth.

What Is the Truth That Replaces the “Unworthy” Unhealthy Belief?

The unhealthy belief of “I’m unworthy…” can be replaced with different truths depending on the source of rejection or disappointment. When you feel unworthy, you have no joy. I was sad and depressed most of my life, even when I was a Christian. My transformation happened when I asked God to show me why I was so sad. He brought to my mind the memories of unfairness and mistreatment by my parents so I could forgive them and receive His healing. I explain this process in my book on my website. God also transformed my many insecurities from feeling unworthy. Most of the time, our sense of unworthiness comes from our wrong thinking about ourselves. We are our own worst enemy when it comes to feeling unworthy of love and being valued.

I transformed the “unworthy” belief with the truth of what God thinks of me. He sees me as holy and beloved. Colossians 3:12-14 states, “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. ¹⁴ And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” Not feeling loved as a child, pre-teen, teen, or adult because of other people’s unkindness and impatience prevent us from loving others well. My book explains how to put off unhealthy beliefs and put on the truth.

God’s chosen are those who believe that Jesus is His Son and paid the debt for our sin to save us from His wrath for sin. God loved us and sent his Son to the earth to experience the pain and temptations we do. Because Jesus did not sin, He became the perfect sacrifice, and He willingly laid down His life for us so we can be forgiven of our sins and have hope for eternal life.

How To Change Unhealthy Beliefs

1. To transforming unhealthy beliefs, recognize you have them. Listen to what you are saying and pay attention to your thoughts.

2. Take it to God and ask Him to show you the truth.

3. Ask God to show you if there is a painful memory controlling your thoughts and decisions.

4. Pray and put off the unhealthy belief and put on the truth God shows you from His Word.

I first loosed the wrong thinking that God showed me and replaced them with scripture truths like the following:

** I am worthy of being loved because I have been made complete in Christ, and I am a new creation. Col. 2:10; 2 Cor. 5:7

** I am valuable because I am made in the image of God; this makes me significant. Gen. 1:27

** My future is full of hope because God has begun a good work in me, and He will complete it (Phil. 1:6). I am His workmanship created for good work. Eph. 2:10; Phil. 2:12b,13

** I am okay because, by God’s mercy, I am being regenerated in my thinking and renewed in my spirit by the Holy Spirit. Titus 3:5b

** I choose to stay focused on God and receive His love and joy. John 17:13; 15:11

** Nothing has power over me unless I allow it. I choose to rejoice always and not be anxious about anything but continually give my concerns to God with thanksgiving. Phil. 4:4-7

** I am a beautiful work of God, and I am valuable, and I will value myself. Eph. 2:10; Ps. 139:14

** God is love, and God loves me. Nothing in the universe can separate me from the love of God. Rom. 8:39

Conclusion:

The reasons we feel unworthy are many. I learned that forgiving those who had mistreated me or did not meet my expectations helped me overcome my sense of unworthiness. I still struggle with insecurity when my expectations are not met. The key is to acknowledge you have the feeling quickly, find the wrong thinking, put it off, and then forgive if you need to and put on the truth. The experiences in my life showed me that transforming the “unworthy” belief has allowed me to experience joy, God’s love for me, and to love others better. I can write a lot more, but you understand because everyone has experienced the feeling of not being loved and valued. I would love to hear how you overcame this unhealthy belief.

WORDS HAVE POWER—PART II: Words Produce Death or Life Energy

Freedom from the Snares of Disrespect, Unworthiness, and Failure

Breaking Childhood Rejection and Insignificance Strongholds.

12 JOY Stealers

JOY Issues

How to Remove the “I Can’t” Belief to Change Your Destiny

Have you ever said or heard someone say, “I can’t do that?” This unhealthy belief is one of the many false beliefs that determine our destiny. In this series of posts, I will expose the unhealthy beliefs that control our lives and how to transform them with the truth to experience a new reality. What we think and say comes from what we believe, and what we believe directs our behavior, and our choices determine our destiny.

Where Does The Unhealthy Belief That We Can’t Do Something Come From?

The belief that we can’t do something can be based on reality. For example, I can’t play the piano. I took piano lessons and practiced, but my brain is not wired to play the piano. Yet God has given us gifts and abilities. So I recommend taking different personality tests and gift tests to see where you excel. With that said, the false belief that we can’t do something can be based on word curses spoken over us, such as, “You will never be good at….” Or “You can’t do that because you are….” Often, this unhealthy belief comes from past failures. You may have made a vow that you will never try out for a team sport (or something else) because you do not want to be humiliated, so you believe you can’t play sports.

I went out for gymnastics, went to every practice, tried every event, and practiced at my home. But, when the coach selected the competition team, I did not make the cut. I was so mad that I quit and didn’t try another sport. Sometimes we need to try different things to see what we can excel at. For example, I learned to play tennis and read tennis books to learn proper techniques, then I went out for the tennis team and did well. I even played on my college tennis team. Don’t be afraid to try different things to see what you excel at. Fear of failure creates the unhealthy belief that you can’t do something. Not wanting to be compared to someone else prevents us from trying and doing our personal best.

Speaking of college, I wanted to go to Penn State to be a teacher. When I told my mother I was applying, she said I was too stupid. The word curse and painful memory of that encounter are etched in my memory. I forgave her for speaking that word curse, but in reality, she was right, but I was determined, so I took the SATs, applied, and was accepted. My mother did not encourage or support me, so I had to do everything on my own, even drive to the college and move into the dorm by myself. I worked hard to get good grades, plus I had to work a job to make money to pay my expenses. I determined to stay focused on getting my degree and not date anyone, so I wasn’t distracted by a fight or a break-up.

What Is The Truth That Replaces The “I Can’t” Unhealthy Belief?

The unhealthy belief of “I can’t” can be replaced with many truths depending on your situation. I am sure many truths come to your mind. For example, the truth I believed when my mother told me that I was too stupid to go to college is “I will never know I can do it unless I try.” So I came up with a plan, trusted God to help me; though I was not walking close to Him, He was still directing my steps. It turns out my brain was short-circuited by the toxic environment I grew up in; once I left, I could focus and learn. When my children said “I can’t clean my room” or whatever I asked them to do, I told them that “I can’t” means “I certainly am not trying.”

Another truth is that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13). This truth helped me overcome the “I can’t” unhealthy belief when I became a single mother. Knowing God was helping me kept me from despair. The truth that God will provide for all that I needed according to His riches (Philippians 4:19) helped me depend on Him. He did provide all that I needed. You can read my story in the post called Trust God to Keep His Promises.

When God directed me to take graduate classes, I said, “I can’t because it has been 30 years since I got my bachelor’s degree, and I can’t write well.” How many excuses do you make for why you can’t do something. The truth that changed my destiny was realizing I have the mind of Christ (1Corinthians 2:16). I had no confidence in my ability, but I knew Jesus was the creator of the Universe and was all-knowing, and I had His mind. So, I signed up for graduate classes in Distance Education and earned A’s in the four classes I took. Though they were writing-intensive, God provided an excellent writing coach for me. I could not continue taking classes because I was laid off from my job, which paid for my classes. Taking these classes forced me to learn how to write because God directed me to write a book during my lay off. I did not know what He wanted me to write about, and I didn’t know where to begin. With His help, I wrote two books. I hope to publish the first one soon.

How To Change Our Unhealthy Beliefs

1. To transforming unhealthy beliefs, recognize you have them. Listen to what you are saying and pay attention to your thoughts.

2. Take it to God and ask Him to show you the truth.

3. Ask God to show you if there is a painful memory controlling your thoughts and decisions.

4. Pray and put off the unhealthy belief and put on the truth God shows you from His Word.

5. If you fail, then try again. Put your trust in God, and He will direct you and enable you (Proverbs 3:5-6 and 16:9; Psalm 32:8 and 37:23-24).

Conclusion:

The reasons we can’t do something are many, but we can do what we put our minds to when we replace the unhealthy belief that we can’t. You may struggle to do things that others can do well, but try anyway and ask for God’s help, then do your best. I have to confess that I struggled to understand algebra, statistics, and physics, but I did my best and was happy with the grade I achieved even if it was a C. The experiences in my life showed me that transforming the “I can’t” belief allowed me to experience all that God had for me. I can write a lot more, but you understand because everyone has experienced the paralyzing effect of the “I can’t” unhealthy belief. Please leave a comment and share how you overcame the unhealthy belief of “I can’t.”

Addiction Strongholds

WORDS HAVE POWER—PART II: Words Produce Death or Life Energy

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Life Changing Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, salvation for non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name, so I know you are a person making the request.

How to Use God’s Divine Power

I have been doing a deep dive study into godliness and godly thinking. To read my previous posts about godliness, go to Posts About Godliness. Today, I want to explore God’s divine power and how to use His divine power to be godly. 2Peter 1:3 states, “His divine power has granted to us all things [everything we need] that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence.” God gives us His divine power to be godly when we know Him and His promises. Ponder for a moment that you were called to share in God’s glory and excellence. I can only partake of God’s glory and excellence through His divine power to think godly thoughts.

Knowing God Gives us His Divine Power

Knowing God is the same thing as knowing everything about your best friend. You learn to trust when you know someone cares for you and will be faithful to protect you. When we know God intimately, we know we can trust Him and not be ashamed to ask for His divine power to live a godly life and not return to our futile lifestyle of sin. Galatians 4:9 states, “But now that you have come to know God, or rather to be known by God, how can you turn back again to the weak and worthless elementary principles of the world, whose slaves you want to be once more?” And, 1Thessalonians 4:3-5 states, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God.” Also, Titus 1:16 states, “They profess to know God, but they deny him by their works. They are detestable, disobedient, unfit for any good work.”

Everyone I know who knew God and His promises and then went back to the corrupt world and their sinful desires, did not prosper or have peace and joy. Another way to know if you know God is whether you love people, even difficult people. 1John 4:8 states, “Anyone who does not love does not know God because God is love.” Do you love people as God loves them?

Meditating On God’s Word Helps You Know God

If you don’t read your Bible and meditate on its truths, how will you know God and His promises, and how can you claim His promises by faith to activate His divine power. 2Peter 1:4 states, “By which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire.” Through claiming His promises by faith, we gain His divine nature that helps us be godly and overcome our sinful desires. Read how God did many miracles in my life in the post called: Trust God to Keep His Promises

Faith Activates God’s Promises and Power

Our faith activates God’s power in our lives. His power then guards our hearts until we see His salvation. 1Peter 1:5 states, “Who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.” The NASB translates this verse as, “Who are protected by the power of God through faith.” And NIV translates it as, “Who through faith are shielded by God’s power.” We activate God’s power by putting off our pride and humbly praying and seeking Him for grace and help to think pure thoughts so we can live a godly life. James 4:6 states, “But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’”

God’s Divine Power Can Destroy Strongholds

The Bible also tells us we have divine power for spiritual warfare. 2Corinthians 10:4 states, “For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds.” I explain how to use God’s divine power to destroy strongholds in my e-book called “Hope for Complete Healing” on my website. I also did a series of posts on using God’s divine armor to defeat our unseen enemy. You can read them here.

Conclusion

Isn’t it great that we don’t have to make an effort to be godly because we have God’s divine power when we know Him? The way to know someone is to spend time with them and do things with them and for them. Knowing God is easy because we only need to read our Bibles and claim His promises by faith. Our faith in Him activates His power for any situation we may face. When was the last time you put your faith in God to help you in your time of need? Sometimes he does not answer our prayers the way we want Him to, which you can read about in my posts on why God may not answer our prayers.

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All verses are from the English Standard Version. If you find my posts and website helpful, please share this link with your friends and family: hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected. Please do not reproduce any part of the posts or my book without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom and this website.

My latest book is Unlocking God’s Promises, which explains 18 categories of promises that are relevant to each of our lives. It also includes the promises in Psalm 91.

If you find this website helpful, you would like to read Breaking Mental Strongholds, which expands on my website book and includes many of my posts.

Additionally, consider my book Fighting Unseen Battles, which describes the many unhealthy beliefs that control our lives and what the truths are. To learn more about this book, read the post How to Fight Unseen Battles.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, salvation for non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name, so I know you are a real person making the request.

How a Pure Heart is a Godly Heart

What is a pure heart, and how does a pure heart contribute to living a godly life? Psalm 119:9(ESV) states, “How can a young man keep his way pure [stay on the path of purity]? By guarding it [living] according to your word.” [NIV in brackets] NAS says, “By keeping it according to Your Word.” The pronoun “it” refers to our way, journey, or life.

How do you guard your way or live according to God’s Word?

The only way to keep our way pure is to have a pure heart. To have a pure heart, you need pure thoughts. Heart means inner man, mind, and will, which also refers to the soul. The Webster dictionary says the soul is also our mind, emotions, and will. Some people credit the soul as containing our sense of morality and conscience with the functions of thinking and willing.

Pure thoughts could be thinking good about people, even those we disagree with or do not particularly like. Think pure thoughts about the opposite sex instead of obscene imaginations. 2Timothy 2:22 states, “So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.” How are you pursuing righteousness, faith, love, and peace? I covered this in my last post called How to Pursue and Achieve Godly Character.

Pure thoughts lead to godly life choices. For example, godly people choose to view movies and TV shows or read material that generates pure thoughts. In Psalms 101:3a, King David said, “I will set no worthless thing before my eyes;” Make this verse your priority to protect your mind from wicked and evil words and images because when your thoughts are pure, then your heart will be pure. Matthew 15:19-20a states, “For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. These are what defile a person.” Therefore, if you want to live a pure and godly life, fill your mind with God’s Word and live according to what you know is God’s will.

For example, if you think an unkind thought about someone or you want to complain, it will inevitably come out of your mouth. Purify wrong thinking using God’s Word. Colossians 3:13 states, “[Bear] with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” So I ask God to forgive me for my critical attitude, complaining, and not bearing with those who irritate me. Then I obey the command to forbear, forgive, and find something to be thankful about.

Only as we obey biblical truth and put off our old self with its wrong thinking and false beliefs then put on a new self in the righteousness and holiness of God can we have godly thoughts and love others well (see Ephesians 4:17-32 and Colossians 3:5-17). 1Peter 1:22-23 states, “Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart, since you have been born again, not of perishable seed but of imperishable, through the living and abiding word of God.” The living and abiding Word of God is Jesus. John 1:1-2, 14 states, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. 14) And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.” When we are born again of the Spirit (John 3:3-6), we receive the Holy Spirit of Jesus and get a new life. Only through Jesus Christ’s divine power in us can we love from a pure heart and live godly lives, which I covered extensively in my last post.

What blocks us from loving with a pure heart?

Something pure has no contaminates. A pure gem has no marks or imperfections. The number one contaminate of our hearts is resentment from unfair and unkind words and actions done against us. Read my related post called How to Recognize and Eliminate Emotional Cancer. Pride is another contaminate. Read the related post called #1 Destroyer of All Relationships and the Solution. Other contaminates in our hearts can be offenses, unforgiveness, guilt, fear, fleshly desires, worldliness, etc. I wrote a post on how to love from a pure heart called Love from a Pure Heart. I also wrote two posts on why and how to purify your heart Why Heal Your Heart and Purify Your Soul? and Five Steps to Heal Your Heart and Purify Your Soul. You also might like to read Three Steps to Renew Your Mind (Part Two)

If our hearts are contaminated by sin and worldliness, then we can’t seek God with all our hearts. Psalm 119:10 states, “With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments [Word]! What keeps us from seeking God with all our heart and soul? The answer is basically anything that distracts us from obeying God’s Word. It could be worldly activities, TV, sin, grief, unforgiveness, curses, wrong thoughts, false beliefs, worries, etc. We need to remove the blocks in our heart before we can seek God with all our hearts. To learn how to remove blocks in your heart, read my short book on my website called Hope For Complete Healing.

Conclusion

Why should we have a pure heart and live godly lives? We will be blessed. Psalm 119:2-3 states, “Blessed are those who keep his testimonies, who seek him with their whole heart, who also do no wrong, but walk in his ways!” One of the best ways to purify your soul and live a godly life is to memorize scripture and practice them. Psalm 119:11 states, “I have stored [hidden] up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.” On the one hand, we know what we need to do; on the other hand, what is our plan to achieve the task of storing God’s Word in our hearts?

My latest book is Unlocking God’s Promises, which explains 18 categories of promises that are relevant to each of our lives. It also includes the promises in Psalm 91.

If you find this website helpful, you would like to read Breaking Mental Strongholds, which expands on my website book and includes many of my posts.