Hope for Lasting Peace, Love, and Victory

Many of the women I minister to feel there is no hope for overcoming their situations. And sadly, I often meet women who are put in jail right after having a baby that tested hot for drugs. Equally sad are the women whose children have been taken away from them, which drives them to use drugs and alcohol to escape that emotional pain. These women feel defeated and hopeless. When I asked them why they use, 99% of them say it is to avoid feeling emotional pain. They know the drugs and alcohol takes them further away from the life they desire. But they feel they have no inner strength to stop using drugs or drinking alcohol. Their hearts are full of emotional pain from unloving acts from those who should have loved them. Unfortunately, most people do not realize they have a love hunger that they are trying to satisfy with everything but the true source of love.

You may not have a drug or alcohol problem, but if you are honest, you also have some mechanism for escaping inner pain (e.g., binge eating, shopping, watching TV/movies, workaholism, etc.) For example, I was a workaholic, and my accomplishments helped me feel good, which concealed the pain in my heart. I also felt helpless to control my anger when I was offended. As a result, I believed I was unlovable and worthless. I have good news; with God’s help, I was able to transform my unhealthy beliefs and wrong thoughts with His truth.  Read about my transformation here.

The following five facts have helped the women in jail have hope to achieve lasting peace, love, and victory.  I pray they help you as well:

1. Know the source of offenses that steal your peace, love, and sense of worth.

a) Taking an offense to something is when you feel resentment for something done or said which often causes hurt feelings or displeasure. These resentments build up in our hearts throughout our lives.

b) The demonic powers around us are destructive forces in our lives. In Ephesians 6:12 it says, “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” Also see Eph. 2:2; 2Cor. 4:4.

c) The Bible says that the devil is the father of lies (John 8:44). The lies we believe cause us to be offended, which results in resentment and hate. For example, my oldest son believed the lie that I hated him because I disciplined him. He believed the lie that my discipline was abusive, therefore, he says he hates me. I can’t change what he believes because resentment is consuming, and the demons keep it stirred up in him to keep him in bondage to these destructive thoughts.

d) The demons want to keep you defeated by destroying your peace, self-worth, and ability to feel loved. Children are their favorite target because they are so vulnerable, then as adults we wonder why we have so many offenses in our hearts, also called unresolved childhood issues. Feeling unloved and offended can lead to various destructive actions and addictions, which result in feeling more defeated.

For instance, when I am offended and get upset, I desire to binge eat, especially chocolate, or I get angry and tell the person off. Both responses are destructive; binge eating is destructive to my body and anger destroys my relationships. We can choose to respond with peace and love, which may sound impossible. Choosing a non-destructive action requires us to constantly check our thoughts and control them, though I still need to improve. Awareness of how we are offended is the first step.

2. Know your source of help to resist the demonic attempts to destroy you.

a) Jesus knows what it is like to suffer demonic attacks and temptations. He overcame the devil and defeated the enemy of our souls and can help us overcome (see Hebrews 2:17&18; Heb. 4:15&16; and 1 John 3:8).

b) To receive this help, we need to put off the pride of being self-focused and the lie that we don’t need Jesus.  Then, humbly ask Him by faith to transform our lives. When we do this, then we will be rooted and grounded in His love and nothing can separate us from His love (see Ephesians 3:17; 1 John 4:9-10; and Romans 8:35-39). Also, we will be filled with the Holy Spirit who is our helper (see John 14:26; 15:26; and Romans 8:24-27).  To learn more about pride, read: HOW PRIDE DESTROYS

c) After receiving Jesus into our hearts and submitting to God, which is to obey Him, then we will have all the divine promises in Christ Jesus. We will also have his divine nature and power to have lasting victory over all our issues and addictions. 2 Peter 1:3-4 says, “seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence. 4) For by these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust.” We tap into this divine power by faith through prayer and believing. We do not see the divine power in us, but we know it is there by faith and that it is ours through prayer.

3. Know the true source of love, peace, and victory.

a) God will always love us, and He gives us His worth. (See Colossians 3:12). He is our only source of love; not our parents, not our boy/girlfriends, not our family, not our spouse; no one can love us as God does. Our love is flawed because each of us has wounds and hurts (offenses) from the sins and weaknesses of those around us.

b) God is our only source of peace. Isaiah 26:3 says “You keep him/her in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he/she trusts in You.” Jesus said in John 16:33, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (Also see 1 John 5:4) The key to lasting peace is to keep our minds on God through continual prayer.

c) God is our only source of victory over the demonic world; James 4:7,8 says, “Submit yourselves, therefore, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8) Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.” Victory occurs when we submit to God and resist the devil through prayer and standing firm in our faith.  Victory also requires that we remove sin from our lives. Also see 1 Peter 5:8,9a.

4. Know the truth and pray the truth to stay in perfect peace, love, and victory.

a) Our responsibility is to keep our minds on the truths of the Word of God and remain with Him through prayer. As we stay in prayer, we will be victorious over the many temptations to believe the devil’s lies and become offended (see John 15 and Colossians 3:1-3). But first, we need to humbly confess our sins through prayer and seek God for forgiveness (see 1 John 1:9). You see, sin blocks our prayers and God will not hear our prayers because He is Holy (see Is. 59:2).

b) If we keep our minds on our problems and what we don’t like, then we will be worried, fearful, angry, depressed, etc. So, when you find yourself focused on a problem or an offense, then turn it into a prayer of repentance and submission to regain your peace, love, and victory. For example, we can get upset with a family member for the things they did or said or how they said it, and it can consume us. But when we turn the problem over to God and trust Him with it, then we will be filled with peace and love again. I have also found that being thankful keeps me in peace. As you know, when you don’t feel peace in yourself, you are not at peace with others around you.

c) Our prayers and words have power and we can take every thought captive in the name of Jesus and command them to be gone. 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 says, “For though we walk in the flesh (live in the world, NIV), we do not war according to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh (this world), but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses (strongholds). We are destroying speculations (arguments) and every lofty thing (pretensions) raised up against the knowledge of God (truth), and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.” Taking our thoughts captive is critical to have lasting victory over our destructive emotions and actions.

5. Lastly, remove the many offenses in our hearts through prayer and forgiving.

a) Offenses hinder love but purifying out hearts by removing offenses allows us to feel love and to love others. Purifying our hearts begins with obeying the Word of God, that is, to do what it says. 1 Peter 1:22 states, Having purified your souls (heart, mind, and conscience) by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart.” We can love with a pure heart when our soul wounds are healed as outlined in my healing booklet found in my website (hopeforcompletehealing.com).

b) One of the truths we need to obey to be victorious over offenses is to forgive those who offended us. Then to put off the lies we believed. (See Matthew 6:12; Colossians 3:13; Ephesians 4:32). Our unforgiveness perpetuates the inner pain we feel and keeps us in bondage to it. We will never have lasting peace, love, or victory if we do not forgive.  If you find it hard to forgive, read: WHY SHOULD I FORGIVE

I hope you found these five facts helpful and know that lasting peace, love, and victory is possible. In my website, I list many truths concerning key character traits to help you replace the devil’s lies with truth. I encourage you to  look at these and be blessed.

Related Posts:

Escapism; Protected by Strongholds of Loneliness and Discontentment

#1 Destroyer of All Relationships and the Solution

 

 

Four Realities of the Spirit World

The one frustration the girls had in my county jail Bible study was not being able to withstand the temptations to return to their old friends and lifestyle. Why?  Not being able to stand firm in our faith involves many factors. One factor is to understand the spirit world and the unseen spiritual battles that wage war against our soul.  Knowing the truth about the spirit world will help us be mindful of their influence. When I shared the following four spiritual realities, the inmates all said it was very helpful, and I hope you find it helpful too.

Reality one: We are spirit beings in a physical body living in a spirit world within a physical world. The following scriptures prove this reality:

  • James 2:26 “The body apart from the spirit is dead,…”
  • Luke 23:46 “Then Jesus, calling out with a loud voice, said, “Father, into your hands, I commit my spirit!” And having said this, he breathed his last.”
  • Acts 7:59 “And as they were stoning Stephen, he called out, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.”
  • 2Timothy 4:22 “The Lord be with your spirit.”

?? What happens to our spirits when we die? Read the story of Lazareth and the rich man in Luke 16:19-31.
?? Where did Lazareth go, and where was the rich man go?
?? Why could the rich man see, hear, speak, and feel thirsty if he was dead?
This account explains another reality that there is a heaven and a hell.

?? If you were to die today, where will you spend eternity?

Reality two: God is an eternal Spirit being, which means He always existed. He is also an all-powerful Spirit-being that is present everywhere. Revelations 1:8 states, ‘I am the Alpha and the Omega,’ says the Lord God, ‘Who is and Who was and Who is to come, the Almighty.‘” Read the book of Exodus to get a better understanding of the power of God. The following scriptures also confirm this reality.

  • 1Corinthians 2:11 “For who knows a person’s thoughts except for the spirit of that person, which is in him? So also no one comprehends the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God.” (Our Spirit communicates with God through prayer. And God, who is a Spirit, reveals His thoughts to our spirit and gives us an understanding of His Word found in the Holy Bible.)
  • John 4:24 “God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.
  • 2Corinthians 3:17 “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”

God’s desire from the beginning of time is to be in a loving fellowship with mankind. Fellowship also means companionship, and some call it a relationship. Look up the following verses in different versions.

  • 1Corinthians 1:9 God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.”
  • 1John 1:3 that which we have seen and heard we also proclaim to you, so that you too may have fellowship with us; and indeed, our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ.”
  • Isaiah 41:10-13 tells us that God holds our hand, through our spiritual being.

The following are examples of Old Testament men who walked and fellowshipped with God.

  • Genesis 5:24 Enoch walked with God, and he was not, for God took him.”
  • Genesis 6:9 These are the generations of Noah. Noah was a righteous man, blameless in his generation. Noah walked with God.”

?? When you walk with someone, do you talk to them?  So, if God is a spirit, how do you think they walked with God?

Reality three: The devil and demons are evil spirits, who are fallen angels. These evil spirits want to keep us from being in fellowship with God. And they will deceive and tempt us to please our sinful fleshly desires and live independent of God.

The devil is a created spirit being also called Satan.  He is the great enemy of man and of goodness; usually identified with Lucifer, the chief of the fallen angels. Lucifer became prideful and wanted to set himself above his creator, God. However, God threw him down to earth along with a third of the angels who followed him (see Is. 14:12-14). He is also called the deceiver (see Rev. 12:9-12), father of lies and murderer (see John 8:44), and the destroyer or Abaddon in Hebrew and Apollyon in Greek, which is translated as “destroyer or to destroy” (see Rev. 9:11 and John 10:10a).  Webster defines “devil” as the slanderer; the chief evil spirit, a supernatural-being subordinate to, and the foe of God.  He is also the foe and tempter of man.  To be evil is to be morally bad or wrong; wicked; depraved.  Someone who is evil causes pain or trouble and does harm.  Satan and demons are not present in all places nor do they know all things, and they do not know our thoughts as God does (see Ps. 139:1-10). The Bible also says the following about Satan.

  • John 10:10 The thief (Satan) comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I (Jesus) came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”
  • 1Peter 5:8-9 Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9) Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.” Note: Jesus also suffered.
  • Hebrews 2:18 For because he himself (Jesus) has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.”

Jesus was tempted by the devil to sin (see Matthew chapter 4).  We too are being tempted every day to think wrong thoughts and to sin.  But, Jesus did not give in to the temptation and He never sinned.  Because He was victorious over the devil’s temptations, He will help us not to give in, but only if we have invited Him into our lives to be with us (see Revelations 3:20). When we are being tempted to sin, all we need to do is to take the thought captive and turn it into a prayer for help (see Hebrews 4:15-16).

 The Bible says the following in James 4:7-8; Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8) Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. The result will be that the devil will flee; which is to run away or escape from danger; disappear; vanish.
    ?? What are some situations in your life that you would like to see the devil flee?

Therefore, if we are to stand firm against temptations and send the devil running, we need to do three actions: 1) Humble ourselves by putting aside our desire for self-fulfillment, self-sufficiency, and independence from God.  2) Submit to God; which is, to surrender control of our lives to Him.  3) Draw near to God.  But first we need to cleanse our hands and purify our hearts by confessing and repenting of any sins of the flesh and the spirit.  Then seek forgiveness for our sins; 1 John 1:9 states, If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (purifies us from all unrighteousness; NIV).” We cannot approach a Holy God in prayer if there is sin in our lives. The pages on my website on the right-hand margin will help you to identify many types of sins.

You see, sin happens when we give in to the temptation to be prideful and live independent of God and His good and perfect instructions.  Our sin separates our spirit from the Spirit of God. Isaiah 59:1-3 states, “Behold, the LORD’s hand is not shortened, that it cannot save, or His ear dull, that it cannot hear; 2) but your iniquities [wickedness; sins] have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden His face from you so that he does not hear. 3) For your hands are defiled with blood and your fingers with iniquity; your lips have spoken lies; your tongue mutters wickedness.”

Reality four: God the Holy Spirit replaces our sin-corrupted spirits and gives us a new life and we become born again spiritually (see 1Peter 1:3 & 1 Cor 6:17). We get this new life when we believe with our heart and confess out loud that Jesus Christ is God the Son, who died to pay the debt for sin; forgives our sins and frees us from sins control (see John 1:29; 1 John 4:15; 1 Peter 1:18-19; Colossians 1:14; & Galatians 5:1). The Bible says the following about the role of the Holy Spirit.

  • John 14:26 But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.”
  • John 16:13When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come.”
  • 1Corinthians 2:10-12 these things God has revealed to us through the Spirit. For the Spirit searches everything, even the depths of God. 11) For who knows a person’s thoughts except for the spirit of that person, which is in him? So also no one comprehends the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. 12) Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might understand the things freely given us by God.”
  • 1Corinthians 3:16 “Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you?” (Also see 1Corinthians 6:19.)

   ?? What is our responsibility? Do you think the Holy Spirit just takes over and we are instantly changed?

First, we must renew our minds with the truth of God’s Word (the Bible), which is outlined in my website (see Rom. 12:2). Second, we are to set our minds on the things of the Spirit through prayer and pondering Scriptures (see Colossians 3:1-2).  The following verses explain this principle.

  • Romans 8:5-6 For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. 6) For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.”
  • Romans 8:9-10 You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. 10) But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness.”
  • Romans 8:13-16 For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. 14) For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. 15) For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father! (Also see Gal 4:6. ) 16) The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God.”
  • Galatians 5:16-17 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17) For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.”
  • Galatians 6:8 For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.”
  • 2Corinthians 7:1 “Once we have these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from every defilement of body and spirit, bringing holiness to completion in the fear of God.”

    ?? According to these verses what are we responsible for doing to remain (abide) in fellowship with God?

In conclusion, the spiritual battle for our souls is fought in the spiritual world through prayer. Prayer is our spirit communicating with the Spirit of God. Understanding these four realities of the Spirit world will help us stand firm in prayer against the destructive influences of evil spirits in the unseen spirit world that is all around us.

Related Posts:

Why, What, and How to Submit to God and be FREE

 

PEACE—A Parenting and Marital Goal

What would it be like if our children lived in peace with each other and we had a peaceful marriage?  Let us take a moment to imagine that the people in our lives are serene, tranquil, calm, undisturbed, friendly, kind, and helpful.  How does this make you feel?  Does this make you feel relaxed?  Does this describe how you relate to people?  Consider, with me, three causes that deprive us of peace and how to restore peace.

Peace was the only Mother’s Day gift I would ask from my children, which never happened.  The reason was because I never sowed peace into my children.  Have you ever heard the saying, “you reap what you sow?”  A farmer sows seed into the ground and depending on what the seed is that is, what the farmer will reap.  So, if you don’t have peace in your family and marriage then maybe peace has not been sown.  If there is strife in your life, consider where the source of strife is coming.

The first and main source of strife comes from past offenses stored in our memories and unforgiveness in our hearts.  Because I was an angry person inside from the many painful memories of being abused, I could not live in peace with anyone, though I desperately wanted to.  After God healed my painful memories, offenses, and unhealthy beleifs, I no longer was upset about everything all the time.  I can now live in peace with those around me, including myself.  Had I known about this when I was raising my children, I would have dealt with the strife differently.  I would have located the offenses in their hearts from disappointment, instead of reacting in anger.  To learn more, read the chapters of my book, listed in the right margin.  Also read: The Link Between Disappointment, Resentment, and Self-control

The second source of strife comes from daily offenses that we react too.  Just drive in the city, and you will have plenty of reason to be offended.  Being around people offer many opportunities to be offended.  These little offenses steal our peace, and the best solution is to take those thoughts captive by first, recognizing them, acknowledging them, and then taking hold of them.  Next, ask God to remove those thoughts of offense, forgive if necessary, and then ask God to give you patience and love for those around you.  Again, I elaborate more on this in my book on my website.

The third reason we lack peace can also be from the following peace robbers.  In fact, these peace robbers greatly affected my health and your health.  I share my testimony of how I transformed these peace robbers in my book found in my website.

  • Tension: mental or nervous strain
  • Fear of something bad happening:
  • Dread: to fear greatly; be in extreme apprehension
  • Fright: sudden fear or terror
  • Nervousness: emotional tension; agitation
  • Anxiety: distress or uneasiness of mind caused by fear of danger or misfortune
  • Worry: to torment oneself with or suffer from disturbing thoughts; fret
  • Anger: a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong; wrath
  • Terror: intense fear

For example, my husband took my two young sons (10 and 12) spelunking in an abandoned cave.  I objected greatly but the boys wanted to go, and my husband was an experienced spelunker.  Needless to say, I experienced all the above peace robbers.  Thankfully, the Lord was watching over my children and husband as there were many dangers.  My husband had fun but my children to this day never want to go spelunking again.

Not only do we need to pray and ask God to remove these peace robbers from us but also the associated unhealthy beliefs.  The following are some examples of unhealthy beliefs that need transforming through prayer and truth:

  • Something bad will happen.
  • The future will be like the past.
  • There is no peace for me.
  • I don’t deserve peace.
  • Why even try to get peace? It is useless to try.
  • I lost any chance for peace when I lost _____.
  • I caused ____ to lose peace.
  • I am afraid I will never have peace.
  • If I have peace, bad things will take it away.
  • If I can just get more ____ I will have peace.
  • My lack of peace is due to my lack of ____.
  • Other people have taken my peace from me.
  • If only others would leave me alone I would have peace.
  • They don’t deserve peace.

The following truths can be used to transform the above unhealthy beliefs and any other unhealthy beliefs that God shows you when you ask.

  • The peace of Christ rules in my heart, and I am thankful. 3:15
  • I pursue peace and do what is good. 12:14; 1 Pet. 3:11
  • I can be peaceable, gentle, showing every consideration for others. Titus 3:2
  • When I make peace, I will be blessed and be called a child of God. 5:9
  • The peace that comes from God is beyond understanding when I give my troubles to Him and thank Him. 4:6
  • God fills me with all joy and peace as I believe and trust Him, and I will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. 15:13
  • I will have great peace and will not stumble when I love God’s Word. 119:165
  • I can be at peace with others. 9:50; Rom. 12:18; Heb. 12:14
  • Peace comes when I trust Jesus, and I will not let my heart be troubled or anxious. John 14:27; John 16:33; Phil. 4:6, 7; 26:3

WHAT IS INNER LIFE TRANSFORMATION? My Story

When you view yourself in the mirror what do you see; a beautiful butterfly or an ugly caterpillar?

Before my life transformation, I looked in the mirror and saw a lonely, hurting, and unlovable child in an adult body.  I desired to be a person who would know, feel, and show love.  I wanted to be joyful and not sad and disconnected.  I wanted to feel peace instead of anxiety and anger.  Because of the many offenses in my heart from my abusive and dysfunctional past, I developed unhealthy beliefs and unloving thoughts that controlled my emotions.  But, before I continue with my story, I want to explain what the terms abusive and dysfunctional mean.  And what are offenses?  The following definitions are from the Webster dictionary.

Dysfunctional is to be abnormal and/or emotionally impaired.  A dysfunctional person is not emotionally stable, secure, or peaceful. They are usually full of unreasonable anger and anxiety.  Also, a dysfunctional person is someone who can be impaired by alcohol, drugs, mental illness, addiction, etc.

Abuse is the mistreatment of others that causes physical, emotional, and mental harm.  Abuse also includes using insulting, coarse, or bad language about or to someone.

Offenses are resentments, hurt feelings, and displeasure from the pain of unfairness, mistreatment, disrespect, betrayal, nonacceptance, and being ignored.

My Story

My transformation began at eight years old when I heard the good news about Jesus Christ, and I believed.  After asking Him to come into my heart, I felt His life come into me, and I felt hope for the first time.  I continued to live in a dysfunctional and abusive home where painful memories and the related emotional stress continued to build up.  Because I didn’t feel safe, I became anxious.  In addition, I was lonely and discontent, which led to different escaping behaviors.  And, I became angry from the mistreatment.  Though both my parents professed to be “Christians,” they continued to sin because of offenses in their hearts from the repressed painful memories of their dysfunctional pasts.

My first marriage was to a hurting “Christian” man, who would be abusive because of the offenses in his heart.  As a result, I became depressed, even more insecure, angry, and controlling.  I realized I needed to change for the sake of my children, students, and friendships.   So, I went to several psychologists; read many self-help books; and attended several bible-study groups, but did not experience any change in my life.  These activities only exposed the depravity of my heart.  And since my repressed painful memories weren’t transformed, I continued to act out of my wounded heart. I ended up having to separate from and then divorce my first husband.  Because I trusted in God, I saw many miracles as He helped me go through the divorce and custody battle.  This story is in the post called: Trust God to Keep His Promises.

Because we live in a sinful world with self-centered people, not one of us can escape from having painful memories and negative heart issues.  Therefore, we all need inner life transformation.  Unresolved negative issues affect all our relationships and even our destiny.  You can expose them by paying attention to what you think, say, and do.

I encourage you to keep a journal of your thoughts, words, and reactions for several months.  In a separate journal record as much as you know about your family as far back as you can remember.  Ask your parents and grandparents to tell you what they know.  Write about relationship dynamics and any dysfunctional patterns.  Record any major events that shaped their lives and yours, such as a death, divorce, addiction, mental illness, disability, or a major change that was upsetting.  Every detail will give you a clue about how your family dynamics were shaped and any dysfunctions that were passed down.  By journaling, you will better understand your parents, and their unresolved negative issues that may be affecting them, which is also affecting you.

Next, write as much as you can remember about your life, even the beginning of your life, which your mother could tell you.  Record the relationship dynamics between you and your parents, siblings, and extended family.  Some memories will be painful, and they need to be healed for you to be healed, which is the purpose of exposing them.  Like cancer treatments or heart surgery, they are painful but necessary for healing and experiencing life. Reading my short book on my website will help you heal these memories.  To learn more about memories, read HOW MEMORIES INFLUENCE OUR THINKING, EMOTIONS, AND BEHAVIOR.

Working through unresolved negative issues takes time, but it is well worth the time. I have been working on my negative heart issues for the past 20+ years, and I have seen incredible results in my life, marriage, family, and workplace relationships.  Now, I am mindful of what I say and how I react, I can correct my behavior, so I can love from a pure heart.  I am constantly referring to the “issues” worksheet pages on my website to resolve the negative memories from my past, that create negative issues in the present.  I am also quicker to recognize when I become offended from other people’s negative issues, so I can forgive and remove the offense out of my heart.  To learn more about how our words have power read: WORDS HAVE POWER—Part I: Overcoming The Destruction of Offensive Words and WORDS HAVE POWER—PART II: Words produce death or life energy.

I was the perfect person to test what worked and did not work for transforming a hurting heart into a loving heart.  With each negative issue, I asked God to show me why I reacted with unloving behavior, and how I could change.  God showed me how to heal the hurts and offenses in my heart with truth while using specific prayer requests as outlined next.  This process is described in detail in my website called hopeforcompletehealing.com.

For each negative issue, I asked God to:

  1. Uncover repressed painful memories that caused the offense. Then I asked Him to heal the image and to help me forgive those involved.  If you struggle with forgiving, please read WHY SHOULD I FORGIVE.
  2. Identify and eliminate the unhealthy beliefs created by the painful memory that causes wrong thinking and then replace them with the truth.  For more details read UNHEALTHY BELIEFS PART 1: What are they and where do they come from?
  3. Identify and eliminate strongholds that protect the painful memories and unhealthy beliefs from being healed.  To understand what strongholds are read STRONGHOLDS PART I—What are they and how do they affect us?
  4. Identify and eliminate generational curses and sins that prevent the transformation of dysfunctional patterns.
  5. Eliminate the oppressive spirits (negative energy) associated with the painful memories and beliefs which perpetuate the offenses and attract more offense and pain.

Now, I look in the mirror and see a happy, emotionally healthy, and content woman; not a hurting, lonely, and unlovable little girl.  When you view yourself in the mirror what do you want to see?

Ultimately, the Bible is the most important book to read for complete healing and transformation of our minds, hearts, and health.  2 Corinthians 4:16 states, “Do not lose heart, though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.”  Ephesians 4:23 and Colossians 3:10 tells us to renew our minds to reflect the image of God, which can only happen when we read the Bible.

Furthermore, for our prayers to be effective, we need to have a right relationship with God, because it is God who ultimately heals and transforms us.  If you have issues with God, I would ask that you believe the fact that He wants to heal your hurts and give you a new life. This begins with spiritual healing by believing and confessing that Jesus Christ is God the Son, who died on the cross to pay the debt for sin and who forgives our sins and frees us from sins control (See Jn 1:29; 1 Jn 4:15; 1 Pet 1:18-19; Col 1:14; & Gal 5:1). When we confess this with our mouth and believe it with our heart, then God the Holy Spirit enters our hearts and fills us with the love, life, and light of Jesus (See Gal 4:6 & 1 Cor 6:17). If you have not made this confession, then do it now to begin the transformational healing process (See Rom 10:9-13 & Eph 2:1-10). Moreover, we are transformed by the love of God the Father as we stay close to Him and trust Him to transform our lives according to His truth. See John 17:17.

Our sin, and especially the sin of pride, also blocks our prayers from reaching God.  Psalms 66:18 states,If I have cherished sin in my heart, the Lord will not hear.Isaiah 59:2 states, But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden His face from you, so that he will not hear.To know if you have sin, ask God to search your heart and mind.  Jeremiah 17:9-10 states, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?  10) ‘I the LORD search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.’” (Also see Revelations 2:23.)  But we can become free from sin by confessing it to God. 1 John 1:9 tells us If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Related Posts:

How to heal your soul: WHY HEAL YOUR HEART AND PURIFY YOUR SOUL? and Five Steps to Heal Your Heart and Purify Your Soul

Becoming self-controlled: Self-control and Maturity and The Link Between Disappointment, Resentment, and Self-control and How to be Self-controlled in What We Say

Becoming free from anxiety disorder: Why, What, and How to Submit to God and be FREE

Becoming free from pride and negative feelings: The Core Negative Heart Issue

 

12 JOY Stealers

I suffered from all 12 joy stealers. In fact, I was so miserable that my husband often threatened to call me “ce” instead of Joyce (true story).  I wrote in my last two posts about suffering well.  For many of us, we do not suffer well and we relive painful memories, thus, perpetuating the pain that robs us of joy in our present life.  The links to my last two posts: 7 Ways to Suffer Well: (Part 1) and Joseph, an Example of Suffering Well and God’s Response: Part 2 of Suffering Well

12 JOY STEALERS

Sadness: sorrow about the loss of love, honor, respect, innocence, and not being accepted. It is a feeling of dejection, which is a low spirit of depression and discouragement.

Depression: brooding on one’s problems

Apathy: absence or suppression of passion, emotion, or excitement (I don’t care attitude)

Despair: loss of hope

Discouragement: having no courage, confidence, or hope

Grief: keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss

Hopelessness: having no expectation of a favorable outcome

Despondency: being in very low spirits due to a loss of hope and a sense of futility about continuing one’s efforts

Misery: a condition of great suffering because of pain, poverty, etc.; distress

Feeling Inferior: below average; low status, rank, etc.

Feeling Worthless: without worth; of no use, importance, or value

Complaining attitude: to express dissatisfaction, pain, uneasiness, censure, resentment, or grief; find fault

I spoke with an elderly man who spent his whole life reliving his past hurts. Have you ever been around people who have to tell you how bad they had it and the terrible things that happened in their life? How does that make you feel? Do you relive your past hurts and disappointments? I too suffered a lot of hurts, disappointments, abuses, rejections, betrayals, etc., which was why I had no joy and was always angry. I didn’t like living with myself and I made everyone else miserable. My website, hopeforcompeletehealing.com, contains my story and how I discovered the secret to overcoming these 12 joy stealers, plus so much more.

I asked the elderly man what the purpose was for telling us these terrible things. He said he can’t get them out of his head.  I told him the first step was to forgive each person who caused him pain, and then to ask God to take that memory out of his head.  I overcame my painful memories by doing this. In fact, just today, I was complaining again. By the way, complaining is a symptom of a painful memory. So, I asked God to show me why I was complaining.  I waited until God brought the memories to my mind of how my father often let me down.  Next, I forgave my father and asked God to lose (untie and remove) the negative effect of each memory from my mind related to the unmet expectations and the resulting disappointment. This process is explained in detail on my website. I invite you to visit my site to learn more. https://hopeforcompletehealing.com

This man, and many people, are only focused on what they don’t like and the bad things that happened, and they remain stuck in misery.  Do you see yourself stuck in the pit of depression and misery?  Maybe you feel sad, humiliated, or shame, which is stealing your joy.  See the following page to transform these negative heart issues with transformation truth: JOY Issues

You may also be interested in reading my story of Freedom from Humiliation and Mental Strongholds of Shame and Sadness

ANXIETY: Protected by Worry and Fear Strongholds

Why do we become anxious?  I developed anxiety from not feeling safe and fearing for the safety of my family.  The worry and fear stronghold combination protects anxious thoughts, which negatively affects our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual lives.  For example, I had a fear of traveling to foreign countries, which caused me to worry about EVERYTHING.  I even had irrational fears of becoming fish food or terrorists will take the plane down.  Read how I overcame these anxieties, though sedatives did help. TRUST Leads to PEACE.

Strongholds are the mental fortresses that would look like castle walls if they had a physical form. They are built by bad memories to protect us from further emotional pain. The fact is, strongholds keep us from experiencing life and love. Mental strongholds are usually built to protect an unhealthy belief or beliefs generated by painful experiences that we have often forgotten about but still control us.  Read my blog post on unhealthy beliefs to learn more.   Authority seats are like thrones within the fortified castle (our mind).  For example, a ruler builds a fortress to protect his or her interests and authority to rule. In this case, anxiety rules our behavior and choices and is protected by the many memories of things we fear and are worried about.

THE WORRY STRONGHOLD—Protects the following unhealthy beliefs: I can’t help but to worry because I am concerned. I trust God but worry keeps me on my knees. When I worry then I can feel I am in control somehow.  This stronghold protects the fear stronghold as an outer wall around the inner fear wall.

THE FEAR STRONGHOLD— Protects the following unhealthy beliefs: Something bad is going to happen. I must protect myself. I am not able to trust anyone. This stronghold protects the authority seat of anxiety within the inner walls of fear.

SEAT OF ANXIETY—Holds all the memories of not feeling safe, which triggers panic attacks when you are in a situation where you do not feel safe.

This stronghold combination is revealed during trials and troubles, or watching the news.  Trials and troubles should  increase our faith in God, strengthen our perseverance (endurance), and perfect our character (see Romans 5:3-5; James 1:2-4; 1 Peter 1:6-9).  Most often, we allow trials to continue to build the strongholds of fear and worry, which produces anxiety, hopelessness, despair, discouragement, fretting, and depression.   For instance, anxiety is a natural response when you are in the process of losing your job because someone is retaliating against you.  When this situation happened to me, I developed a host of digestive problems, which is common.

The worry stronghold would keep me from trusting God to work all things out for my good (Romans 8:28-29).  Instead, I would dwell on the problem and try to solve the problem myself if I could. This stronghold protected the fear stronghold which encouraged self-protective behavior and the need to control circumstances. For example, if I couldn’t control the circumstances, then I would become anxious, fearing something bad was going to happen that I wouldn’t be able to control. The anxious thoughts on the seat of authority in my heart caused me to feel hopeless, despaired, discouraged, unsafe, and unhappy.  I was even anxious about the decisions my adult children were making.

I felt God leading me to mentally or physically put myself in the various homes and places where I did not feel safe or accepted. I specifically and verbally loosed/put off the destructive memories created in those places along with all oppressive energy/spirit attachments (see website for explanation), unhealthy beliefs, and wrong thinking that God brought to my mind to be transformed. After that, I prayed through the “Joy, Trust, and Peace Issues,” to complete my transformation and healing. Then I imagined myself safe in the arms of my Heavenly Father who abundantly loves me. I also made God my refuge as I often quoted Psalms 91 and Isaiah 41:10-13 from memory.   When I became free from the worry and fear mental strongholds, I was healed of my digestive problems. I could also see how this stronghold combination affected all aspects of my life.  Read the following post to learn how I got through a nasty divorce and child-custody battle, which lead to severe anxiety attacks. Trust God to Keep His Promises

To remain in peace and not be fearful, our minds should be focused on the promises found in God’s Word and not on the things going on around us that we cannot control. Personally pray the verses in Philippians 4:6-7, which states, “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7) And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” and Romans 8:28 which states, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.”  Read, 15 Promises We Can Trust God to Keep

If you see this stronghold combination in your life, then go through the pages of my website to learn the scientific and spiritual concepts for transforming the many negative issues of not feeling safe in your heart.  1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

The above statements are passages from my book called Unseen Battles for Your Mind, which is in the editing stage, and therefore, is not to be recopied without my permission.

Related Posts:

Why, What, and How to Submit to God (becoming free from anxiety disorder)

WHY HEAL YOUR HEART AND PURIFY YOUR SOUL?

Five Steps to Heal Your Heart and Purify Your Soul

Bondage to Unseen Controls

 

 

Anger Issues Protected by Pride and Judgmental Strongholds

The pride and judgmental strongholds in my life protected many issues of anger generated from the humiliation, shame, injustices, betrayals, disappointments, and rejections throughout my life.  If you are unfamiliar with what mental strongholds are and my castle illustration, please read the following post first; STRONGHOLDS PART I—What are they and how do they affect us?

The reason why we need to deal with this stronghold combination is to love as God loves. To love well, we need to eliminate the sins of anger, bitterness, resentment, hatred, judging, and pride.  These sins prevent God’s love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness (humility), faithfulness (trust), and self-control from flowing out of us to others.

People with this stronghold combination typically were either bullied or come from dysfunctional or abusive families/marriages.  I experienced all the above.  I found that broken trust is the main force that generates pride and being judgmental.  Broken trust comes from betrayal by those who you expected would love and protect you.  My pride issues were created by damaged self-worth and low self-esteem and are often revealed by over-sensitivity and over-reaction.   You can learn how to heal betrayal issues and repair your damaged self-worth by reading my short book on my website.

For example, I was hurt and offended when my younger sister demeaned me and put me down continually as we were growing up. I stored that hurt and offense in my heart, and every time I was demeaned or felt demeaned as an adult, I would become angry. When I asked God to show me why I was getting so angry, He showed me how my younger sister had offended me. I then forgave my sister, because I know she demeaned me because she was hurting too. I then confessed any sin on my part to God, which is very important for overcoming anger issues.  Our sin needs forgiving because it has negative, oppressive, stress energy and will re-establish the offenses.  For instance, I confessed and asked for forgiveness of the sin of wanting to harm my sister and for demeaning and disgracing her in return.

The pride stronghold wall protects unhealthy beliefs such as—I am better than you. Don’t tell me I am wrong. Don’t tell me what to do but do what I want.  The pride wall protects the inner judgmental wall that protects unhealthy beliefs of—I have the right to determine if you are right, wrong, or insincere. I have the right to be angry, bitter, resentful, and hateful. I don’t trust you or value you. The judgmental stronghold wall then protects the anger seat of authority, which holds all our memories of hurts, disappointments, unmet needs and desires, offenses, soul wounds, bitterness, resentments, and hatred.  These memories produce unhealthy beliefs, which control our thoughts, and our thoughts dictate what we say and do.

Another reason why we need to deal with this stronghold is because God hates pride (Prov. 8:13; James 4:6), and anger does not achieve the righteousness of God, only peace and humility does (James 1:20; 3:18), which is why I wanted to be free.  We are also instructed to not be judgmental (Matthew 7:1).  I hope and pray that if you have this same issue that you too will find freedom, so you can love from a pure heart.  To learn how to be free from anger and this stronghold combination, please visit my website, you will be glad you did.  https://hopeforcompletehealing.com/

Anger issues are also entwined in the Impatience stronghold combination;  read the following post: Freedom from Impatience and Strongholds of Injustice and Unfairness

To begin reading my book, start here: 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

Related Posts:

Why, What, and How to Submit to God

Free from Anger–County Jail Testimony and Teaching

The Core Negative Heart Issue

WHY HEAL YOUR HEART AND PURIFY YOUR SOUL?

Five Steps to Heal Your Heart and Purify Your Soul

Bondage to Unseen Controls

HOW PRIDE DESTROYS