Depression – Page 2 – Hope for Complete Healing

WORDS HAVE POWER—Part I: Overcoming The Destruction of Offensive Words

Have you ever considered the power of the spoken or written word? When someone says something hurtful, it creates an offense in our hearts. A person’s words reveal the condition of their heart. Therefore, the person saying the hurtful words is also hurting from the offenses they have stored in their hearts from painful memories. This post explains how to overcome the power of offensive words and actions. But first, let’s review the power of words. Imagine how the progression below is influenced by negative words, then imagine how the progression is influenced by positive words.

Words (positive or negative) create like thoughts.

Thoughts create feelings.

Feelings create beliefs.

Beliefs create attitudes.

Attitudes influence decisions for behavior.

Decisions directs the course of our life.

Change the course of your life by changing your thoughts.

Often, when we become offended, it is because the words or action triggered a subconscious painful memory of an unmet need or expectation. Other times, we become offended because a selfish desire was not met, or our pride was hurt. All of humanity struggles with being self-centered. For instance, someone does something to you or says something about you that you thought was unloving; your first response is to think; that wasn’t right; I didn’t like that. Or you weren’t acknowledged for an achievement, or accepted into a group, or ignored, etc., which hurt your pride. So, when we become offended, we open the door to the temptation to be angry, bitter, depressed, then to slander, gossip, and say hurtful things. Our thoughts and feelings become controlled by the offense, and we do and say hurtful things. To be free from the control of offenses, do the following three actions.

First, is to forgive, which may be hard to do, but it is to set you free from their control on your mind, not for them. Forgiving sets your mind free from the unseen control of negative energy from the hurtful words or actions. Forgiveness also releases the unseen control of negative energy from painful thoughts, so they don’t control our feelings and actions. Second, pray for the person who hurt you, because they are hurting. Praying generates positive energy, that gives you positive feelings and positive thoughts. And third, set your mind on the things of God by reading the Bible and transforming your thoughts to think His thoughts of love for yourself and others. The following post describes this process in detail: Thoughts That Create Peace Within and Without

Sometimes though, you need to set boundaries for people who continue to say abusive, hurtful words, after you have first spoken to them about how their unloving words affect you. You need not let their words control your thinking, feelings, beliefs, and attitude, which is hard to do, but possible when you are quick to forgive.

For example, I became offended by the words on an anniversary card my wonderful husband gave me. He did not intend to offend me, but when I explained why I was offended, he apologized and tried to make it right. Unfortunately, I allowed the offense to get into my heart and control my feelings, and I became miserable and said hurtful things. I’m sure no one else has done that.

When I had enough of feeling sorry for myself, I remembered that I needed to forgive the offense, even though it was not intentional. Then I asked God to forgive me for being hurtful, and to take the power of that memory and negative energy of the offense from my mind and heart. I felt so much better. So often relationships are ruined by hurtful words and holding onto offenses. I realized the quicker I forgave, the more love, peace, and joy I would experience, and the more love, peace, and joy others would experience when they were in my presence.

The anniversary card situation caused me to ask myself, why did that card offend me? I knew from my research that it had triggered a painful memory. So, I asked God to show me what the offense was. He showed me that I was still offended by a hurt from my first marriage. I went through the “Kindness Issues” worksheet on my website to release the offenses I was feeling. Next, I forgave my ex-husband for the hurtful words he had spoken to me, and I asked God to lose and remove the power of that memory and all negative energies from my mind and heart. I also applied the right thinking and truths from the “Joy” and “Peace Issues” worksheets to transform the feelings of hurt and anguish in my heart and mind. After going through the process of healing these negative heart issues, I felt so much peace and joy.

To learn more, please visit my site and read a short book I wrote about how I transformed many negative heart issues and discovered a new reality. 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. I hope you found this helpful. May God Bless you richly.

To understand the power of forgiving, read: WHY SHOULD I FORGIVE

You may enjoy reading my next post called: WORDS HAVE POWER—PART II: Words produce death or life energy

If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

Hope for Lasting Peace, Love, and Victory

Many of the women I minister to feel there is no hope for overcoming their situations. And sadly, I often meet women who are put in jail right after having a baby that tested hot for drugs. Equally sad are the women whose children have been taken away from them, which drives them to use drugs and alcohol to escape that emotional pain. These women feel defeated and hopeless. When I asked them why they use, 99% of them say it is to avoid feeling emotional pain. They know the drugs and alcohol takes them further away from the life they desire. But they feel they have no inner strength to stop using drugs or drinking alcohol. Their hearts are full of emotional pain from unloving acts from those who should have loved them. Unfortunately, most people do not realize they have a love hunger that they are trying to satisfy with everything but the true source of love.

You may not have a drug or alcohol problem, but if you are honest, you also have some mechanism for escaping inner pain (e.g., binge eating, shopping, watching TV/movies, workaholism, etc.) For example, I was a workaholic, and my accomplishments helped me feel good, which concealed the pain in my heart. I also felt helpless to control my anger when I was offended. As a result, I believed I was unlovable and worthless. I have good news; with God’s help, I was able to transform my unhealthy beliefs and wrong thoughts with His truth. Read about my transformation here.

The following five facts have helped the women in jail have hope to achieve lasting peace, love, and victory. I pray they help you as well:

1. Know the source of offenses that steal your peace, love, and sense of worth.

a) Taking an offense to something is when you feel resentment for something done or said which often causes hurt feelings or displeasure. These resentments build up in our hearts throughout our lives.

b) The demonic powers around us are destructive forces in our lives. In Ephesians 6:12 it says, “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” Also see Eph. 2:2; 2Cor. 4:4.

c) The Bible says that the devil is the father of lies (John 8:44). The lies we believe cause us to be offended, which results in resentment and hate. For example, my oldest son believed the lie that I hated him because I disciplined him. He believed the lie that my discipline was abusive, therefore, he says he hates me. I can’t change what he believes because resentment is consuming, and the demons keep it stirred up in him to keep him in bondage to these destructive thoughts.

d) The demons want to keep you defeated by destroying your peace, self-worth, and ability to feel loved. Children are their favorite target because they are so vulnerable, then as adults we wonder why we have so many offenses in our hearts, also called unresolved childhood issues. Feeling unloved and offended can lead to various destructive actions and addictions, which result in feeling more defeated.

For instance, when I am offended and get upset, I desire to binge eat, especially chocolate, or I get angry and tell the person off. Both responses are destructive; binge eating is destructive to my body and anger destroys my relationships. We can choose to respond with peace and love, which may sound impossible. Choosing a non-destructive action requires us to constantly check our thoughts and control them, though I still need to improve. Awareness of how we are offended is the first step.

2. Know your source of help to resist the demonic attempts to destroy you.

a) Jesus knows what it is like to suffer demonic attacks and temptations. He overcame the devil and defeated the enemy of our souls and can help us overcome (see Hebrews 2:17&18; Heb. 4:15&16; and 1 John 3:8).

b) To receive this help, we need to put off the pride of being self-focused and the lie that we don’t need Jesus. Then, humbly ask Him by faith to transform our lives. When we do this, then we will be rooted and grounded in His love and nothing can separate us from His love (see Ephesians 3:17; 1 John 4:9-10; and Romans 8:35-39). Also, we will be filled with the Holy Spirit who is our helper (see John 14:26; 15:26; and Romans 8:24-27). To learn more about pride, read: HOW PRIDE DESTROYS

c) After receiving Jesus into our hearts and submitting to God, which is to obey Him, then we will have all the divine promises in Christ Jesus. We will also have his divine nature and power to have lasting victory over all our issues and addictions. 2 Peter 1:3-4 says, “seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence. 4) For by these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust.” We tap into this divine power by faith through prayer and believing. We do not see the divine power in us, but we know it is there by faith and that it is ours through prayer.

3. Know the true source of love, peace, and victory.

a) God will always love us, and He gives us His worth. (See Colossians 3:12). He is our only source of love; not our parents, not our boy/girlfriends, not our family, not our spouse; no one can love us as God does. Our love is flawed because each of us has wounds and hurts (offenses) from the sins and weaknesses of those around us.

b) God is our only source of peace. Isaiah 26:3 says “You keep him/her in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he/she trusts in You.” Jesus said in John 16:33, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (Also see 1 John 5:4) The key to lasting peace is to keep our minds on God through continual prayer.

c) God is our only source of victory over the demonic world; James 4:7,8 says, “Submit yourselves, therefore, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8) Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.” Victory occurs when we submit to God and resist the devil through prayer and standing firm in our faith. Victory also requires that we remove sin from our lives. Also see 1 Peter 5:8,9a.

4. Know the truth and pray the truth to stay in perfect peace, love, and victory.

a) Our responsibility is to keep our minds on the truths of the Word of God and remain with Him through prayer. As we stay in prayer, we will be victorious over the many temptations to believe the devil’s lies and become offended (see John 15 and Colossians 3:1-3). But first, we need to humbly confess our sins through prayer and seek God for forgiveness (see 1 John 1:9). You see, sin blocks our prayers and God will not hear our prayers because He is Holy (see Is. 59:2).

b) If we keep our minds on our problems and what we don’t like, then we will be worried, fearful, angry, depressed, etc. So, when you find yourself focused on a problem or an offense, then turn it into a prayer of repentance and submission to regain your peace, love, and victory. For example, we can get upset with a family member for the things they did or said or how they said it, and it can consume us. But when we turn the problem over to God and trust Him with it, then we will be filled with peace and love again. I have also found that being thankful keeps me in peace. As you know, when you don’t feel peace in yourself, you are not at peace with others around you.

c) Our prayers and words have power and we can take every thought captive in the name of Jesus and command them to be gone. 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 says, “For though we walk in the flesh (live in the world, NIV), we do not war according to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh (this world), but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses (strongholds). We are destroying speculations (arguments) and every lofty thing (pretensions) raised up against the knowledge of God (truth), and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.” Taking our thoughts captive is critical to have lasting victory over our destructive emotions and actions.

5. Lastly, remove the many offenses in our hearts through prayer and forgiving.

a) Offenses hinder love but purifying out hearts by removing offenses allows us to feel love and to love others. Purifying our hearts begins with obeying the Word of God, that is, to do what it says. 1 Peter 1:22 states, “Having purified your souls (heart, mind, and conscience) by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart.” We can love with a pure heart when our soul wounds are healed as outlined in my healing booklet found in my website (hopeforcompletehealing.com).

b) One of the truths we need to obey to be victorious over offenses is to forgive those who offended us. Then to put off the lies we believed. (See Matthew 6:12; Colossians 3:13; Ephesians 4:32). Our unforgiveness perpetuates the inner pain we feel and keeps us in bondage to it. We will never have lasting peace, love, or victory if we do not forgive. If you find it hard to forgive, read: WHY SHOULD I FORGIVE

I hope you found these five facts helpful and know that lasting peace, love, and victory is possible. In my website, I list many truths concerning key character traits to help you replace the devil’s lies with truth. I encourage you to look at these and be blessed.

Escapism; Protected by Strongholds of Loneliness and Discontentment

#1 Destroyer of All Relationships and the Solution

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

WHAT IS INNER LIFE TRANSFORMATION? My Story

When you view yourself in the mirror what do you see; a beautiful butterfly or an ugly caterpillar?

Before my life transformation, I looked in the mirror and saw a lonely, hurting, and unlovable child in an adult body. I desired to be a person who would know, feel, and show love. I wanted to be joyful and not sad and disconnected. I wanted to feel peace instead of anxiety and anger. Because of the many offenses in my heart from my abusive and dysfunctional past, I developed unhealthy beliefs and unloving thoughts that controlled my emotions. But, before I continue with my story, I want to explain what the terms abusive and dysfunctional mean. And what are offenses? The following definitions are from the Webster dictionary.

Dysfunctional is to be abnormal and/or emotionally impaired. A dysfunctional person is not emotionally stable, secure, or peaceful. They are usually full of unreasonable anger and anxiety. Also, a dysfunctional person is someone who can be impaired by alcohol, drugs, mental illness, addiction, etc.

Abuse is the mistreatment of others that causes physical, emotional, and mental harm. Abuse also includes using insulting, coarse, or bad language about or to someone.

Offenses are resentments, hurt feelings, and displeasure from the pain of unfairness, mistreatment, disrespect, betrayal, nonacceptance, and being ignored.

My Story

My transformation began at eight years old when I heard the good news about Jesus Christ, and I believed. After asking Him to come into my heart, I felt His life come into me, and I felt hope for the first time. I continued to live in a dysfunctional and abusive home where painful memories and the related emotional stress continued to build up. Because I didn’t feel safe, I became anxious. In addition, I was lonely and discontent, which led to different escaping behaviors. And, I became angry from the mistreatment. Though both my parents professed to be “Christians,” they continued to sin because of offenses in their hearts from the repressed painful memories of their dysfunctional pasts.

My first marriage was to a hurting “Christian” man, who would be abusive because of the offenses in his heart. As a result, I became depressed, even more insecure, angry, and controlling. I realized I needed to change for the sake of my children, students, and friendships. So, I went to several psychologists; read many self-help books; and attended several bible-study groups, but did not experience any change in my life. These activities only exposed the depravity of my heart. And since my repressed painful memories weren’t transformed, I continued to act out of my wounded heart. I ended up having to separate from and then divorce my first husband. Because I trusted in God, I saw many miracles as He helped me go through the divorce and custody battle. This story is in the post called: Trust God to Keep His Promises.

Because we live in a sinful world with self-centered people, not one of us can escape from having painful memories and negative heart issues. Therefore, we all need inner life transformation. Unresolved negative issues affect all our relationships and even our destiny. You can expose them by paying attention to what you think, say, and do.

I encourage you to keep a journal of your thoughts, words, and reactions for several months. In a separate journal record as much as you know about your family as far back as you can remember. Ask your parents and grandparents to tell you what they know. Write about relationship dynamics and any dysfunctional patterns. Record any major events that shaped their lives and yours, such as a death, divorce, addiction, mental illness, disability, or a major change that was upsetting. Every detail will give you a clue about how your family dynamics were shaped and any dysfunctions that were passed down. By journaling, you will better understand your parents, and their unresolved negative issues that may be affecting them, which is also affecting you.

Next, write as much as you can remember about your life, even the beginning of your life, which your mother could tell you. Record the relationship dynamics between you and your parents, siblings, and extended family. Some memories will be painful, and they need to be healed for you to be healed, which is the purpose of exposing them. Like cancer treatments or heart surgery, they are painful but necessary for healing and experiencing life. Reading my short book on my website will help you heal these memories. To learn more about memories, read HOW MEMORIES INFLUENCE OUR THINKING, EMOTIONS, AND BEHAVIOR.

Working through unresolved negative issues takes time, but it is well worth the time. I have been working on my negative heart issues for the past 20+ years, and I have seen incredible results in my life, marriage, family, and workplace relationships. Now, I am mindful of what I say and how I react, I can correct my behavior by changing my thinking, so I can love from a pure heart. I refer to the “issues” worksheet pages on my website to resolve the negative memories from my past, which create negative issues in the present. I am also quicker to recognize when I become offended from other people’s negative issues, so I can forgive and remove the offense out of my heart. To learn more about how our words have power read: WORDS HAVE POWER—Part I: Overcoming The Destruction of Offensive Words and WORDS HAVE POWER—PART II: Words produce death or life energy.

I was the perfect person to test what worked and did not work for transforming a hurting heart into a loving heart. With each negative issue, I asked God to show me why I reacted with unloving behavior, and how I need to change. God showed me how to heal the hurts and offenses in my heart with the truth in the Bible using specific prayer requests outlined next. This process is described in detail in my website hopeforcompletehealing.com.

For each negative issue, I asked God to:

Uncover repressed painful memories that caused the offense. Then I asked Him to heal the image and to help me forgive those involved. If you struggle with forgiving, please read WHY SHOULD I FORGIVE.
Identify and eliminate the unhealthy beliefs created by the painful memory that causes wrong thinking and then replace them with the truth. For more details read UNHEALTHY BELIEFS PART 1: What are they and where do they come from?
Identify and eliminate strongholds that protect the painful memories and unhealthy beliefs from being healed. To understand what strongholds are read STRONGHOLDS PART I—What are they and how do they affect us?
Identify and eliminate generational curses and sins that prevent the transformation of dysfunctional patterns.
Eliminate the oppressive spirits (negative energy) associated with the painful memories and beliefs which perpetuate the offenses and attract more offense and pain.

Now, I look in the mirror and see a happy, emotionally healthy, and content woman; not a hurting, lonely, and unlovable little girl. When you view yourself in the mirror what do you want to see?

Ultimately, the Bible is the most important book to read for complete healing and transformation of our minds, hearts, and health. 2 Corinthians 4:16 states, “Do not lose heart, though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.” Ephesians 4:23 and Colossians 3:10 tells us to renew our minds to reflect the image of God, which can only happen when we read the Bible.

Furthermore, for our prayers to be effective, we need to have a right relationship with God, because it is God who ultimately heals and transforms us. If you have issues with God, I would ask that you believe the fact that He wants to heal your hurts and give you a new life. This begins with spiritual healing by believing and confessing that Jesus Christ is God the Son, who died on the cross to pay the debt for sin and who forgives our sins and frees us from sins control (See Jn 1:29; 1 Jn 4:15; 1 Pet 1:18-19; Col 1:14; & Gal 5:1). When we confess this with our mouth and believe it with our heart, then God the Holy Spirit enters our hearts and fills us with the love, life, and light of Jesus (See Gal 4:6 & 1 Cor 6:17). If you have not made this confession, then do it now to begin the transformational healing process (See Rom 10:9-13 & Eph 2:1-10). Moreover, we are transformed by the love of God the Father as we stay close to Him and trust Him to transform our lives according to His truth. See John 17:17.

Our sin, and especially the sin of pride, also blocks our prayers from reaching God. Psalms 66:18 states, “If I have cherished sin in my heart, the Lord will not hear.” Isaiah 59:2 states, “But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden His face from you, so that he will not hear.” To know if you have sin, ask God to search your heart and mind. Jeremiah 17:9-10 states, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? 10) ‘I the LORD search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.’” (Also see Revelations 2:23.) But we can become free from sin by confessing it to God. 1 John 1:9 tells us “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Becoming self-controlled: Self-control and Maturity and The Link Between Disappointment, Resentment, and Self-control and How to be Self-controlled in What We Say

Becoming free from anxiety disorder: Why, What, and How to Submit to God and be FREE

Becoming free from pride and negative feelings: The Core Negative Heart Issue

All verses are from the English Standard Bible. If you find my posts and website helpful, please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected, and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

If you find this website helpful, you will benefit from the latest book. You can order Breaking Mental Strongholds on Amazon. Also, check out my book called Fighting Unseen Battles on Amazon. I would love to hear what you think. To learn more about my book, read: How to Fight Unseen Battles.

If you read my book and find it helpful, please leave a review. Also, if you want to do a Bible study with it, email me and ask for a free PDF of the leader’s guide. The PDF will have suggested discussion questions after each section. Quick links to all the scriptures in the endnotes for you to review or to copy and paste into your notes. Website links to review supporting material. Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. I will also send you the Lord’s Prayer Model to pray effectively. Please leave your name, so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

12 JOY Stealers

I suffered from all 12 joy stealers. In fact, I was so miserable that my husband often threatened to call me “ce” instead of Joyce (true story). I wrote in my last two posts about suffering well. For many of us, we do not suffer well and we relive painful memories, thus, perpetuating the pain that robs us of joy in our present life. The links to my last two posts: 7 Ways to Suffer Well: (Part 1) and Joseph, an Example of Suffering Well and God’s Response: Part 2 of Suffering Well

12 JOY STEALERS

Sadness: sorrow about the loss of love, honor, respect, innocence, and not being accepted. It is a feeling of dejection, which is a low spirit of depression and discouragement.

Depression: brooding on one’s problems

Apathy: absence or suppression of passion, emotion, or excitement (I don’t care attitude)

Despair: loss of hope

Discouragement: having no courage, confidence, or hope

Grief: keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss

Hopelessness: having no expectation of a favorable outcome

Despondency: being in very low spirits due to a loss of hope and a sense of futility about continuing one’s efforts

Misery: a condition of great suffering because of pain, poverty, etc.; distress

Feeling Inferior: below average; low status, rank, etc.

Feeling Worthless: without worth; of no use, importance, or value

Complaining attitude: to express dissatisfaction, pain, uneasiness, censure, resentment, or grief; find fault

I spoke with an elderly man who spent his whole life reliving his past hurts. Have you ever been around people who have to tell you how bad they had it and the terrible things that happened in their life? How does that make you feel? Do you relive your past hurts and disappointments? I too suffered a lot of hurts, disappointments, abuses, rejections, betrayals, etc., which was why I had no joy and was always angry. I didn’t like living with myself and I made everyone else miserable. My website, hopeforcompeletehealing.com, contains my story and how I discovered the secret to overcoming these 12 joy stealers, plus so much more.

I asked the elderly man what the purpose was for telling us these terrible things. He said he can’t get them out of his head. I told him the first step was to forgive each person who caused him pain, and then to ask God to take that memory out of his head. I overcame my painful memories by doing this. In fact, just today, I was complaining again. By the way, complaining is a symptom of a painful memory. So, I asked God to show me why I was complaining. I waited until God brought the memories to my mind of how my father often let me down. Next, I forgave my father and asked God to lose (untie and remove) the negative effect of each memory from my mind related to the unmet expectations and the resulting disappointment. This process is explained in detail on my website. I invite you to visit my site to learn more. https://hopeforcompletehealing.com

This man, and many people, are only focused on what they don’t like and the bad things that happened, and they remain stuck in misery. Do you see yourself stuck in the pit of depression and misery? Maybe you feel sad, humiliated, or shame, which is stealing your joy. See the following page to transform these negative heart issues with transformation truth: JOY Issues

You may also be interested in reading my story of Freedom from Humiliation and Mental Strongholds of Shame and Sadness

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

7 Ways to Suffer Well: (Part 1)

Why do we have to suffer? Suffering is inevitable in this world. Having gone through much suffering myself, I can make seven suggestions for how to suffer well.

1. Accept that suffering happens to everyone in the world, and we can’t control when, how, or what happens to us. We can only control how we react to it, so acceptance is the first step to suffering well. The reason for suffering is because we live in an imperfect and unpredictable world with imperfect people. Often we cause our own suffering from the wrong choices we make. Suffering can be called a trial, a tribulation, or an affliction.

1 Peter 4:12-14 states, “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery (painful; NIV) trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. 13) But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when His glory is revealed.” Also read Romans 8:17&18.

2. Allow suffering to strengthen you and to make you more compassionate. For instance, when you endure afflictions well, then you can support and comfort others going through the same affliction. My friends, who had been through similar difficulties, have supported, encouraged, and helped me. Their encouragement gave me strength to go through my troubles. Now, I am able to comfort and support others who are going through similar difficulties.

3. Don’t take it personally. Embrace suffering as a part of life. Allow your difficulties to expose your character flaws, so you can remove them so the fruit of the spirit can grow. Personality flaws are often the result of painful memories, which generate unhealthy beliefs, that then control your negative reactions. My website, hopeforcompletehealing.com, explains how to discover, transform, and reprogram painful memories and unhealthy beliefs, so you can deal with difficulties in a healthy way.

4. Forgiving is the key to suffering well. Forgiving those who cause or have caused your suffering is the only way to keep your peace and joy. When you don’t forgive, then you become angry, bitter, and resentful because you are self-absorbed and focused on the injustice of the suffering. For example, I could have resented my ex-husband for allowing my son to go down the wrong path of drugs and alcohol but, I realize my son is responsible for the wrong choices he makes. I could have resented my son for making wrong choices, and bringing embarrassment and shame to the family but, I realize I am no one special and I am not alone. My point is not to take offense, because of another person’s weakness or sin. Be quick to forgive and practice the truths in the Word of God. Refer to my post on forgiveness WHY SHOULD I FORGIVE.

5. Turn your suffering over to God and allow Him to work in your life. Difficulties perfect you, strengthen your faith, and increases your ability to endure. Submit the outcome of the trial or difficulty to God and don’t lose His peace and joy. Remember, you cannot control what, when, or how difficulties happen, but you can control what you do when they come.

James 1:2-4 – “Count it all joy, when you meet trials of various kinds, 3) for you know that the testing of your faith produces¹ steadfastness²(endurance; patience). 4) And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect³ and complete⁴, lacking in nothing.” (ESV)

** 1) Produce means to bring forth; create; bear (as a plant bears fruit and seed); etc..

** 2) Steadfastness means firm, fixed, settled, or established. 2. Constant; not changing.

** 3) Perfect means complete in all respects; without defect.

** 4) Complete means lacking none of the parts; to make entire, thorough, or perfect

** 5) Endurance means the ability to last, continue, or remain b) ability to stand pain, distress, fatigue, etc.

** 6) Patience means the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, or irritation.

?? Why is it important to test our faith?

Testing your faith reveals what you really believe. Testing also strengthens and purifies your faith. Trials and suffering give you the opportunity to practice the truths in God’s Word, which strengthen your faith and transform your thinking, attitudes, and character.

Romans 5:2-4 states, “Through Him, we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3) Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4) and endurance produces character, and character produces hope,” (ESV)

6. Stay focused on the truths and promises of God’s Word and do what it says. When you do this, then you avoid the depression that often accompanies suffering. Grief is healthy, but depression is not. Depression is inner anger, caused by focusing on what you don’t want. Looking up and finding the rainbow, and maintaining a positive view, helps you suffer well. The Bible says to “be thankful in everything, pray without ceasing, and rejoice always” (1 Thes. 5:16-18). This sounds hard to do, but with God’s help, all things are possible.

Philippians 4:6-7 states, “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7) And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” And, 4:13 “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.”

7. Stay humble. Suffering will often lead to pride because we think we didn’t or don’t deserve it. So suffering well is to humbly seek God’s help and strength to endure and overcome. Remember, Satan also causes afflictions to draw us away from God; read the story of Job. Satan wants you to become angry and depressed, which is why you need to resist him and draw near to God.

James 4:6-8 states, “But he gives more grace. Therefore it states, ‘God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.’ 7) Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8) Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.”

None of us likes suffering, but it happens. What you do during times of suffering will either make you stronger or miserable; it is your choice to suffer well or not. Also, keep suffering in proper perspective. I often say, “This too shall pass.”

Romans 8:18 states, “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.”

2 Corinthians 4:17-18 states, “For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, 18) as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”

Read about how Joseph suffered well: Joseph, an Example of Suffering Well and God’s Response: Part 2 of Suffering Well

ANXIETY: Protected by Worry and Fear Strongholds

Why do we become anxious? I developed anxiety from not feeling safe and fearing for the safety of my family. The worry and fear stronghold combination protects anxious thoughts, which negatively affects our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual lives. For example, I had a fear of traveling to foreign countries, which caused me to worry about EVERYTHING. I even had irrational fears of becoming fish food or terrorists will take the plane down. Read how I overcame these anxieties, though sedatives did help. TRUST Leads to PEACE.

Strongholds are the mental fortresses that would look like castle walls if they had a physical form. They are built by bad memories to protect us from further emotional pain. The fact is, strongholds keep us from experiencing life and love. Mental strongholds are usually built to protect an unhealthy belief or beliefs generated by painful experiences that we have often forgotten about but still control us. Read my blog post on unhealthy beliefs to learn more. Authority seats are like thrones within the fortified castle (our mind). For example, a ruler builds a fortress to protect his or her interests and authority to rule. In this case, anxiety rules our behavior and choices and is protected by the many memories of things we fear and are worried about.

THE WORRY STRONGHOLD—Protects the following unhealthy beliefs: I can’t help but to worry because I am concerned. I trust God but worry keeps me on my knees. When I worry then I can feel I am in control somehow. This stronghold protects the fear stronghold as an outer wall around the inner fear wall.

THE FEAR STRONGHOLD— Protects the following unhealthy beliefs: Something bad is going to happen. I must protect myself. I am not able to trust anyone. This stronghold protects the authority seat of anxiety within the inner walls of fear.

SEAT OF ANXIETY—Holds all the memories of not feeling safe, which triggers panic attacks when you are in a situation where you do not feel safe.

This stronghold combination is revealed during trials and troubles, or watching the news. Trials and troubles should increase our faith in God, strengthen our perseverance (endurance), and perfect our character (see Romans 5:3-5; James 1:2-4; 1 Peter 1:6-9). Most often, we allow trials to continue to build the strongholds of fear and worry, which produces anxiety, hopelessness, despair, discouragement, fretting, and depression. For instance, anxiety is a natural response when you are in the process of losing your job because someone is retaliating against you. When this situation happened to me, I developed a host of digestive problems, which is common.

The worry stronghold would keep me from trusting God to work all things out for my good (Romans 8:28-29). Instead, I would dwell on the problem and try to solve the problem myself if I could. This stronghold protected the fear stronghold which encouraged self-protective behavior and the need to control circumstances. For example, if I couldn’t control the circumstances, then I would become anxious, fearing something bad was going to happen that I wouldn’t be able to control. The anxious thoughts on the seat of authority in my heart caused me to feel hopeless, despaired, discouraged, unsafe, and unhappy. I was even anxious about the decisions my adult children were making.

I felt God leading me to mentally or physically put myself in the various homes and places where I did not feel safe or accepted. I specifically and verbally loosed/put off the destructive memories created in those places along with all oppressive energy/spirit attachments (see website for explanation), unhealthy beliefs, and wrong thinking that God brought to my mind to be transformed. After that, I prayed through the “Joy, Trust, and Peace Issues,” to complete my transformation and healing. Then I imagined myself safe in the arms of my Heavenly Father who abundantly loves me. I also made God my refuge as I often quoted Psalms 91 and Isaiah 41:10-13 from memory. When I became free from the worry and fear mental strongholds, I was healed of my digestive problems. I could also see how this stronghold combination affected all aspects of my life. Read the following post to learn how I got through a nasty divorce and child-custody battle, which lead to severe anxiety attacks. Trust God to Keep His Promises

To remain in peace and not be fearful, our minds should be focused on the promises found in God’s Word and not on the things going on around us that we cannot control. Personally pray the verses in Philippians 4:6-7, which states, “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7) And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” and Romans 8:28 which states, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.” Read, 15 Promises We Can Trust God to Keep

If you see this stronghold combination in your life, then go through the pages of my website to learn the scientific and spiritual concepts for transforming the many negative issues of not feeling safe in your heart. 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

The above statements are passages from my book called Unseen Battles for Your Mind, which is in the editing stage, and therefore, is not to be recopied without my permission.

WHY HEAL YOUR HEART AND PURIFY YOUR SOUL?

Five Steps to Heal Your Heart and Purify Your Soul

Bondage to Unseen Controls

All verses are from the English Standard Bible. If you find my posts and website helpful, please share this link with your friends and family; hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected. Please do not reproduce any part of the posts or my book without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom and this website.

If you find this website helpful, you will benefit from the latest book. You can order Breaking Mental Strongholds on Amazon.

Also, check out my book called Fighting Unseen Battles on Amazon. I would love to hear what you think. To learn more about my book, read: How to Fight Unseen Battles.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Life-changing Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. I will also send you the Lord’s Prayer Model to pray effectively. Please leave your name, so I know you are a real person making the request.

Freedom from Humiliation and Mental Strongholds of Shame and Sadness

Have you been humiliated? Do you feel shame for the things that were done to you or that you have done? Do you feel sad, especially when you are alone with yourself? I think we all can answer yes to one or more of those questions. Here is my story. After I wrote in my journal about my birth and my mother’s mental state at the time (learned from letters I had found) I had a dream that night that was very perplexing. The dream was words being spoken to me that said, “shame and humiliation in a box” over and over again until I woke up. I began to pray and ask God what the meaning was. I did not receive an answer until that evening when God showed me that the shame and humiliation my mother was feeling and experiencing, translated into me and my sister while we were being formed in her womb (the box). So I looked up the words shame and humiliation in the dictionary, which gave me greater insight.

** Shame is a painful feeling of guilt, incompetence, indecency, or blameworthiness. It is a feeling of dishonor and disgrace, which may have come from the things you have done for which you need to forgive yourself for. Shame could also be put on you by other people’s unloving actions for which you need to forgive them. God showed me that shame was the inner stronghold that protected the humiliation seat, which held all the bad memories of humiliation and the wrong beliefs that I am a melancholy, depressed person and I am unable to feel joy or happiness. God showed me that I also had a tremendous amount of guilt from the destructive things I did, which I share on my website if you are interested in knowing how I freed myself.

** Humiliation happens when our dignity is lowered, and we are caused to feel foolish or contemptible (to be scorned and made to feel worthless.) We feel humiliation when we are degraded and our honor is taken away from us. We feel humiliation when we are shown disdain, or being despised and looked down on, or disgraced; that is, a loss of favor and respect. This then opens us up to be prideful, which covers up our feelings of humiliation so in turn we humiliate others.

This is how my life began, and as I continued to journal my life, I could see these two issues throughout my whole life. We all want to be valued and accepted so I realized that this was one of the reasons I was so angry and destructive, which brought more shame and humiliation into my life. God showed me that shame was the inner stronghold that protected my painful memories of humiliation. In order to understand mental strongholds, see my blog on strongholds or my website. I knew strongholds came in pairs to make sure the unhealthy beliefs and negative emotions remained to keep us in bondage, so I asked the Spirit of truth to show me what the second stronghold was. The next day I had a heavy sense of sadness, and I could see the sadness in the things that I wrote in my journal. The outer sadness stronghold had been keeping me from feeling true happiness and joy in life, in my relationships, and with God.

** Sadness is sorrow about the loss of love, honor, respect, innocence, and not being accepted. It is a feeling of dejection, which is a low spirit of depression and discouragement. Depression is brooding on one’s problems. Also, sadness is despondency, which is the loss of courage, confidence, and hope. A year later, God revealed that I was addicted to the feeling of sadness. I found this out because my mind would compulsively conjure up vain imaginations of things that would make me sad, like death or a loss of some kind. You can see how a lot of wrong and unhealthy beliefs can be developed from the memories of sadness that would also fortify the mental stronghold of sadness.

When I prayed through the specific stronghold deliverance prayer that I describe on my website, I felt greater confidence and joy, and I no longer had this cloud of sadness swirling in my mind because of the memories of humiliation. I also broke my addiction to the feeling of sadness through specific prayer. If you can identify with what I have written in this post and would like to be free from this mental stronghold combination, then please visit my website to learn how.

The above statements are passages from my book called “Unseen Battles for Your Mind,” which is in the editing stage, and therefore, is not to be recopied without my permission.

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

Escapism; Protected by Strongholds of Loneliness and Discontentment

When we don’t feel loved, we feel lonely. Every living person has felt lonely at one time in their lives. Some of us feel lonely all the time. It is my experience and observation that loneliness comes from a love deficit, both in receiving love and giving love, but more than that, it is a lack of felt love. The loss of felt love often happens when there is a death or divorce. It also happens when a person is in or from a dysfunctional or abusive home that lacked felt love. Moreover, we were created by God to be loved and to love, and when love is missing, we feel empty and alone, like an empty building, and we want to escape.

Loneliness is often accompanied by depression, which is a feeling of sadness and dejection. Many married couples feel lonely because they do not know how to love well. More often than not, one or both partners have not experienced a healthy love, which carries over into their marriage, and is passed down to their children. We marry looking to feel loved but when one or both have no love to give, therein lies the beginning of a dysfunctional relationship and a dysfunctional family. The unmet desire to be unconditionally loved makes us want to isolate ourselves and to suppress our desire. We often isolate ourselves by escaping into drugs, alcohol, work, shopping, entertainment, sports, etc.

If you have not experienced healthy love, you may have a stronghold of loneliness that keeps you in bondage to unhappiness and depression. The stronghold of loneliness also protects the stronghold of discontentment. If you are unfamiliar with double strongholds, please read the following post first: STRONGHOLDS PART I—What are they and how do they affect us?

Discontentment, according to Webster, is to lack contentment; to be dissatisfied; to have a restless desire for something more or different. To be content is to be satisfied with what one has and is not disturbed by a desire for something more or different. Discontentment also happens when we have unrealistic expectations. The stronghold of discontentment protects the authority seat of escapism; that is, the desire to escape from our loneliness and discontentment through many different means. Some of the means of escape are: drinking alcohol, using drugs, watching TV, spending hours on social media, working long hours, playing video games, uncontrollable daydreaming, buying things, etc.

The following are the unhealthy beliefs this stronghold combination protects. The loneliness stronghold protects the following unhealthy beliefs: First, “I am alone because I am unlovable.” Second, “I need to isolate myself because I don’t trust that I won’t get hurt or I will be let down.” Third, “I am alone because I am different and unaccepted.” Some of the unhealthy beliefs, protected by the discontentment stronghold are: First, “ I need more because what I have is not enough.” Second, “I need to have something different (i.e., life, car, house, furniture, spouse, job, etc., [different for each of us]).” Discontentment has many facets, but the remedy is thankfulness and trusting God to provide the things we need (and sometimes want).

Next, evaluate what is on the escapism seat of authority (the throne) that controls your choices. I found that I needed to be busy all the time to not feel my loneliness or discontentment. I also found that I would daydream to escape the discontentment and boredom of life. Most times my thoughts were unproductive, futile, unprofitable, and empty musing. The escape mechanisms you choose may be different than mine. Also, our escape mechanism often becomes an addiction that controls our thoughts. Please visit my website to learn how I overcame this stronghold combination and addictions with the help of God, and how you can as well. https://hopeforcompletehealing.com/

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).