Relationship and World Changing Kindness

What ever happened to kindness?  Most of my hurts and painful memories come from unkindness, beginning with my childhood to the present.  I would venture to guess that everyone has painful memories from unkind people.  These painful memories affect our thinking and beliefs, and they prevent us from being kind. We know being patient is hard, but have you considered your struggle to be kind?

For instance, I was not being kind to my husband, though he was being patient with me. Later, he said, if I treated my friends like I treat him, I would have no friends. OUCH! The next day, my husband asked if I was mad at him. I said, “I don’t think so.” So, I went to God and asked Him to show me why I was disrespecting my husband. The next day, as I was memorizing Ephesians 2:1-7, I read verse seven,so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.” God quickened my mind when I read “grace in kindness.” And He revealed I was angry at my husband for what I perceived as his unkindness towards me. I had repressed my offense and was being unkind in return.

I began to think deeply about grace and kindness. What does kindness look like in action? God brought me back to the phrase, “grace in kindness.” Grace is getting what we don’t deserve and is demonstrated by God’s kindness towards us. Grace involves forgiveness. Ephesians 1:7,8 states, “In him (Jesus) we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight.” I asked God to give me insight whether I was holding a grudge?  I know when we hold onto an offense, we can’t show grace to the person who offended us. Do you agree?

If God is willing to forgive our sins, then we can forgive the sins of others (see Matthew 6:12). Please note, God’s grace is immeasurable which He lavishes on us richly. This is hard to comprehend.  How much better the world will be if we each lavished grace and forgiveness on those who don’t deserve it? If we can comprehend the immeasurable grace God has for us, how grateful we will be. Trying to wrap my mind around this kind of grace has made me realize how ungrateful I am.

For example, in Luke 10:25-37, Jesus tells a parable of a man who was beaten and robbed, then left naked on the road. Three men came upon the naked man, the two religious leaders walk by and the third man, a Samaritan, who is despised by the Jews, showed mercy and compassion and help the man. Jesus asked, “Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?” (Luke 10:36).  The good Samaritan was not selfish with his time and money.  He went out of his way to take the man to an Inn, and then paid for the man’s stay and care.  It is hard to be kind and show mercy to those who are not kind to us, but that is the love God wants us to show to the world.  Remember, love is patient and kind… (1 Corinthians 13:4a).

1 John 3:17-18 also says,  But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? 18 Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.  Love focuses on the needs of others.  But if our thoughts are only about meeting our own needs and expectations, then we will not be patient or kind, and we will not love others well. To love well and show kindness we must transform our self-centered thoughts and beliefs to reflect God’s immeasurable grace.

Yes, I was not kind to my husband because I became offended when my demands were not met. My thoughts of being offended created a false belief my husband did not love me, and I can’t depend on him. My false beliefs caused me to feel disrespected and disrespectful. My unkindness to my husband was the result of my wrong thoughts and false beliefs. To learn more read #1 Destroyer of All Relationships and the Solution.

The wrong thinking that my husband should serve me was transformed by a blog I read by healingmission, The Christian Healing Mission Daily Blog.  The author encouraged her readers to serve as Jesus served.  This truth is found in Matthew 20:28, which states, “the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”  I was convicted of my sinful desire to be treated like a Queen and to be served.  I expected my husband to be my servant, for which he was not a willing participant. Satan wants us to live self-centered and selfish lives to keep us in bondage to misery.  Jesus wants us to follow His example and serve others in love.

I took out my “Hope for Complete Healing” booklet and looked up “Kindness Issues.” Using the list of offenses in the “Kindness Issues” worksheet, I prayed and asked God to show me why I was offended. He showed me I felt rejected when my husband didn’t do what I expected him to do. And, I was offended by how rough he spoke to me. I then went through the “Five Steps to Heal Your Heart and Purify Your Soul.

Next, I prayed and bound to my heart and mind the positive attributes of kindness and the transformation truths found on the worksheet. God then showed me I had painful memories of my mother speaking roughly to me, which triggered my response to my husband’s roughness. I went through the five steps of healing again to transform that painful memory.

I remind myself, I can only ask God to change my heart and correct my thoughts. And, I cannot expect God to change my husband because he has a will to choose how he behaves. Read the following post to know what is and is not our Authority in Prayer, Four Reasons Why We Have Authority in Prayer.

If you find you identify with my struggle to love well, then please go to God and receive healing and His immeasurable grace and forgiveness. Begin reading my short booklet today for guidance. 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

There is hope for complete healing as we receive God’s grace and forgiveness, then show grace in kindness.

If you want a paper copy of the booklet on my website, contact me by email. I can mail a copy of my booklet for a small donation to cover the cost of printing and mailing.

Related Posts:

Love From a Pure Heart

WHY SHOULD I FORGIVE

The Core Negative Heart Issue

POSTS Related to Relationships

POSTS on Thoughts


If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

Free from Anger–County Jail Testimony and Teaching

I have been teaching the girls in the county jail how to recognize and overcome wrong thinking and unhealthy beliefs. One lady received court papers concerning her children being adopted out. Her mother is now the foster parent for the children. The inmate was furious. Her angry thoughts generated a plan to hurt those whom she perceived as hurting her. This situation was a great opportunity to teach why we need to take our negative thoughts captive, and how to transform them so they don’t control our behavior.

I set aside my lesson that night and prayed for God to help me as I helped her apply what I had been teaching. As she shared why she was so angry, she revealed several unhealthy beliefs and the painful memory triggering her anger. She believed her mother wanted to keep her from raising her children. She had painful memories of growing up with a controlling mother who still was trying to control her. I began to ask questions to help her recognize her wrong thinking and unhealthy beliefs. I explained how our wrong thoughts come from many sources, such as painful memories and demonic forces creating misunderstanding, wrong perception, misinterpretation, and wild imaginations not based in reality. To learn more about the reality of the Spirit world, read: Four Realities of the Spirit World

Wrong perception and misunderstanding generated negative feelings of anger. We discussed each wrong thought, and the related unhealthy belief. It is amazing how wrong thoughts affects our emotions that then negatively feed our wrong thinking. When you recognize a wrong thought and unhealthy belief, you need to capture them by first asking God to help in your weakness to control your thoughts, then pray to loose (release) and put them off from your mind and heart. Then I led her to think positive thoughts and find things to be thankful for. She admitted she loved her mother and did not believe her mother would deliberately hurt her. She also had a wrong belief that CYS had lied to her.

We explained that her mother and Child Youth Services were not the enemy, but that demonic forces were.  We read and discussed Ephesians 6:10-12, which state, Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. 11) Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. 12) For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” Then we read 2 Corinthians 11:3, which states, But I am afraid that as the serpent deceived Eve by his cunning, your thoughts will be led astray from a sincere and pure devotion to Christ.” My co-teacher explained how the devil wants to destroy our faith in God and to resist believing the lies and trust God to work everything out for her good and the good of her children. Many who read this post may not believe demonic forces of evil can influence us. According to the Bible, demonic forces are actively looking to devour us (see 1 Peter 5:8,9) but we must stand strong in our faith. If you have this wrong belief, please capture this thought/belief by acknowledging it and pray to loose/put off the wrong thought/belief, and then bind-in/put on the truth found in the Word of God. We need to daily submit our minds to God and resist the devil’s schemes and influence to derail our faith (see James 4:7).

Next, we read and discussed Romans 8:26-28, which state,Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 27) And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. 28) And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” (The Holy Spirit is in those who believe in Jesus Christ and received Him as their savior from eternal death and the wrath of God for sin.) I explained how the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness and will intercede for us according to the will of God. And know whatever happens, when we love God, He will use it for our good to accomplish His purpose. Then we talked about how we know we love God, and we read John 14:15; 1 John 5:3; and 1 John 3:21-24. Next, we went to our theme verses in Hebrews 4:14-16, which state, Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. 15) For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. 16) Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”  This verse is key to living a victorious life because we are weak to control sinful desires and we need the help of God.  God’s grace gives us the power to overcome our weaknesses to sin.

Then I shared my testimony of how my ex-husband promised that I would never see the children again if I left him. He tried to fulfill his promise, which created tremendous anxiety in my mind. But God came through because I trusted Him. My X even brought a psychologist to court to testify that I was not a good mother and my X should get full custody of the children. God caused the psychologist to testify on my behalf. To learn more about how God showed up for me and the many miracles I experienced read: Trust God to Keep His Promises. After sharing my testimony, the inmate could see how her thinking was wrong and how trusting God was better than being tormented by angry thoughts from the demonic forces at work to destroy her and her faith in God.

The next week she reported good news. When she talked to her mother, she realized she mis-interpreted the court papers and her mother’s intentions. She realized she was allowing her imagination to torment her, and God was for her and the devil was against her. Next, we discussed Ephesians 1:7-9, which state, In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ.” Then, we discussed a few things the Bible describes as the will of God outlined in 1 Thessalonians 5:14-18. When we do the will of God, we are training our minds to think right thoughts so the demonic forces cannot torment us with negative thinking, unhealthy beliefs, and out of control emotions.  I also explained the main purpose of God for our lives is to conform us to the image of His Son, Jesus Christ.  Lord willing, that will be my next lesson.

There is hope because God is our help in our time of need.

Related Posts:

Anger Issues Protected by Pride and Judgmental Strongholds

ANXIETY: Protected by Worry and Fear Strongholds

POSTS on Thoughts

POSTS Related to Trusting God

Five Steps to Heal Your Heart and Purify Your Soul

Before you can heal the negative issues in your heart, you first must acknowledge you have them. Second, you must want to be healed. And third, you must seek God to help show you the painful memories and unhealthy beliefs that need to be healed.  If you haven’t read the previous post, please do so to understand the reason for healing your heart and purifying your soul: WHY HEAL YOUR HEART AND PURIFY YOUR SOUL?

The negative issue I want to heal is being anxious, upset, and judgmental concerning vacations to the Outer Banks. Every time I think about the Outer Banks, I am consumed with negative beliefs and thoughts. I want to be free from the consuming negative reaction every time it is mentioned.

To realize what issues in your life need healing, journal the events of your life from conception to the present.  Title each section with age titles, such as 1-2, 2-3, or a general time frame such as before elementary school.  You may need to ask relatives for the details. Even a death in the family or other tragedies, such as a job loss, affects our beliefs at a young age because we react to the strong feelings of those around us. For example, when I was about 6 or 7 years old, one of my cousins was in a car accident and his whole body was in a cast. The memory of that image left an impression on my young mind that developed into a fear that needed healing. Also, if you grew up with someone who was angry and unpredictable, you will become insecure and anxious.  Read my transformational testimony for an example: WHAT IS INNER LIFE TRANSFORMATION? My Story

Read my short book describing the research and prayer methods I used for my healing from an abusive childhood. In my book are examples and worksheets that will help you find the painful memories that need healing. Only God can heal because He only knows what is in our minds and heart. So, make sure you are rightly related to Him by believing He sent His Son Jesus Christ to die for your sins. Ask Him to forgive your sins and come into your heart to help you overcome the sin in your life that has damaged your soul. And to heal the hurt in your heart from people’s sins against you. 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

List the current issues, problem, or concerns in your life. This is not a quick process, but one that is well worth your effort. Also, look for issues that control your life, such as addictions, anger, worry, and depression.  You can take my quiz to discover childhood issues that may need healing: DISCOVER UNRESOLVED NEGATIVE HEART ISSUES QUIZ

To understand how to pray with authority, read Four Reasons for Authority in Prayer

  1. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal the contributors for each issue (problem, concern) such as the painful memory or memories of painful experiences or sin.  Painful experiences could be from a trauma, a word curse, unmet needs, betrayal, poor choices, or rejection. You may get an answer right away or you may have to wait a few days.  Be conscious of the quiet voice of the Holy Spirit speaking within your soul.  All painful memories have a negative stress energy that also needs to be removed  from our mind and body.  Sin has negative spirit attachments that needs to be removed by putting them off in Jesus’ name (see John 14:13 and 16:24.  Sin is anything you do that is not loving and valuing others and God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength.  It is helpful to review the following worksheets on my website and read Chapter Five of my book for guidance:

LOVE Issues,  JOY IssuesPEACE IssuesPATIENCE Issues

KINDNESS Issues, GOODNESS Issues, TRUST AND FAITHFULNESS Issues,

MEEKNESS, HUMILITY, AND GENTLENESS Issues, SELF-CONTROL Issues

  1. Forgive those who sinned against you (see Matthew 6:14:15, Colossians 3:13, and Ephesians 4:32). Do not dwell on the painful memories but be quick to forgive, though you may need to grieve a loss, which is healing.  Remember, forgiveness releases you from the emotional control of the painful memories contributing to the issue needing healed.  PRAY: “Dear Lord, I forgive (name of the person or persons) for causing the pain of __________.”   To learn more read WHY SHOULD I FORGIVE
  2. Replace unhealthy beliefs with truth. Write down the lies or unhealthy beliefs the Holy Spirit reveals that are associated with the heart issue needing transformed by the truth. Next, write the truths to replace the unhealthy beliefs. Look at each of the Spirit Characteristics Worksheets listed in step one to find the truth to replace the lies you are believing.
  3. Repent of sins. List the sins you committed because of your wrong thinking and unhealthy beliefs and decisions related to the issue needing healed. Confess them to God and ask His forgiveness and to then take all your guilt and resentment away (see 1 John 1:9).
  4. Write a thanks to God for something He did to protect, provide for, or comfort you.

AN EXAMPLE FROM MY LIFE

The following is my journal entry and prayers concerning negative issues related to vacations at the Outer Banks.

The contributors to my negative Outer Banks issue are painful memories of hurricanes and the terror of rip tides.  I became very upset when rip tides were tearing the beach up and my husband and his sister decided to walk the beach at night with the small children.  I did not go because I knew the danger but could not convince them of the danger.  My anxiety was so high, and I became very angry at how stupid they were to put themselves and the children in danger.

I PRAY: Dear Lord, I forgive my husband and sister-in-law for risking their lives and my children’s lives when they walked the beach at night while rip tides were tearing up the beach.  Loose the negative stress energy painful memory from my mind and from every cell in my body.  Forgive me for being anxious, angry, and not trusting You. I loose the wrong belief that my husband and sister-in-law are stupid and careless. I bind into my mind the truth that You were protecting my family despite the danger. I loose the unhealthy belief that my anger can control my husband’s behavior to do what I think is right. I bind in the truth that I can practice self-control over my emotions and trust God with the decisions of others. Loose this negative stress energy of the unhealthy beliefs from my mind and every cell of my body. In Jesus’ name. (There were many other unhealthy beliefs I had to loose and bind in the corresponding truth to replace the unhealthy belief.)

During another vacation the waves were so huge that when I attempted to go in the ocean, I lost my dignity and the children will never be the same.  This and many other painful experiences caused me extreme anxiety, so I stopped going on those family vacations.  My husband went without me, which caused me to worry if he would die.  I PRAY:  Lord, forgive me for not trusting you to keep my husband safe.  Loose and remove the negative energy from this unhealthy belief. In Jesus’ name.

One year my father-in-law became very ill and the family did not take him to urgent care.  I PRAY:  Lord, I forgive my husband and his family for not getting my Father-in-law to see a doctor when he became very ill.  I loose the wrong belief that they did not care about him and did not want to take the time from their vacation to take him to the doctor. Loose this negative stress energy from my mind and every cell of my body. In Jesus’ name.

My painful memories are many, and they caused me to hate everything about the Outer Banks. I PRAY: Heavenly Father, loose and remove each bad memory related to the Outer Banks and the negative stress energy from every cell of my body they created in my heart and mind. And, loose the negative feeling of hate from my heart. In Jesus’ name.  And, Lord, loose and remove the unhealthy belief that the Outer Banks is a terrible and stressful vacation.  Loose and remove the wrong belief I must be in control and things must go my way. In Jesus’ name.  I bind into my mind the truth that there were good times and good memories of the fun things we did.  I bind in the truth that I can get along with my husband’s family through Your love and help. I bind in the truth that Your Word says I should give preference to the desires of others.  I bind in the truth that I do not have to be in control and things do not have to go my way for me to be happy.  I bind in the truth that I can serve others in love. In Jesus’ name.

I PRAY:  Lord, I confess and ask Your forgiveness when I became angry and anxious and sinned by not trusting You and praying about the things that concerned me. Forgive me for throwing anger fits when things did not go my way or when I became frustrated.  Forgive me for complaining instead of being thankful.  Forgive me for being judgmental and critical of the actions of my family.  Loose the guilt and negative stress energy my anger and anxiety created from my mind and every cell of my body. In Jesus’ name.

I PRAY: Thank you Lord for keeping my family safe during the hurricanes we vacationed in and protecting my family from drowning in rip tides. Thank you for the good times we had and help me focus on the positive things I experienced while on vacation at the Outer Banks. In Jesus’ name.

Now when I think about vacations at the Outer Banks, I do not have any negative feelings.


Examine your family history, if you see the same pattern of negative issues, then assume the issue is generational. Ask God to then loose and remove genetics and DNA markers for that issue from every cell in your body. Ask God if the issue is a curse that has passed down to you, if so, ask Him to break the curse from your life and the lives of your children, in Jesus’ name.

Next, ask God to show you if you have a stronghold protecting your painful memories and unhealthy beliefs. You may use the stronghold combinations I have identified in Chapter Three of my short book—though your memories, offenses, and unhealthy beliefs may differ from the ones I have identified.  3–Breaking Free From Mental Strongholds

I am praying for you as you take this journey of healing.


If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom. 

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

WHY HEAL YOUR HEART AND PURIFY YOUR SOUL?

Do you know you have two hearts? Do you know both hearts react to our experiences? Everyone knows we have a physical heart that pumps our blood. But we also have an emotional heart that process our feelings into memories and determines what we believe.   What we think directs how we feel in our emotional heart. To understand more about the power of thoughts, read the following posts: What Controls Your Thoughts?,  ALL THOUGHTS ARE WITHIN OUR CONTROL, and Thoughts That Create Peace Within and Without

A.  The Emotional Heart and the Soul

Did you know your emotional heart is part of your soul?   The following verses describe how the soul contains our feelings. Job said his soul grieved for the needy (Job 30:25). King David said in Psalm 6:3, My soul also is greatly troubled.” And, Psalm 35:12 states, They repay me evil for good; my soul is bereft [left sad and lonely].” And, Psalm 43:5a states, “Why are you cast down (in despair), O my soul, and why are you in turmoil? Hope in God…” And, Psalm 88:3a states, “For my soul is full of troubles…” Last, Lamentations 3:17 states, My soul is bereft of peace; I have forgotten what happiness is.”

The Apostle Peter explains in 1 Peter 1:22 how to purify our soul so our heart is pure, “Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart.” Only as we obey the truth found in the Bible to put off our old self and put on a new self, can we love others well (see Ephesians 4:17-32 and Colossians 3:5-17). Read my short book to learn how to do this: DISCOVER A NEW REALITY

The Webster dictionary says the soul is our mind, emotions, and will.  Some people credit the soul as containing our sense of morality and conscience with the functions of thinking and willing. No one truly understands the soul’s specific function, though we know it sets humans apart from the animal kingdom.

Animals do not have a conscience or sense of morality; knowing the distinction between right and wrong conduct or action, and they do not feel guilt.  Sin creates guilt, which makes us feel dirty inside. Hence, the need to purify our soul.  Sin is doing what is harmful and selfish and disobeying what the Bible says is the right thing to do.  People with wounded hearts often do not feel guilt for the wrong they do. Therefore, healing the wounds in our heart through the love of Jesus and His sacrifice will allow our conscience to direct us into right thinking. When I became free from my guilt, I could love myself and then love others better.

Another distinction from animals is our soul longs to be in right fellowship with God. Moses said in Deuteronomy 4:29 to, …Seek the LORD your God, and you will find Him if you search after Him with all your heart and with all your soul.” The wounds and guilt in our heart and soul hinder us from seeking God and being in right fellowship with Him, which is another reason we need to heal our heart and purify our soul.

?? How does the hurt in our hearts keep us from seeking God?

The hurt in our heart creates pride and is often protected by pride. Our pride maintains our right to be hurt and angry. Pride keeps us from taking our hurt to God and forgiving those that hurt us.  To learn more about pride read: HOW PRIDE DESTROYS

B.  Where do Heart and Soul Wounds Come From?

Painful experiences and guilt from sin, wound our soul by creating negative thoughts that then develop into offenses. Offenses are resentments, hurt feelings, and displeasure from the pain of unfairness, mistreatment, disrespect, betrayal, unacceptance, and being ignored. Offenses create painful memories, which then create stress in our body and conflicts in our mind through wrong beliefs. We know we are offended when we feel angry or hurt. Painful memories and guilt handicap our spirit, and keep us from loving God and others well, and we appear hypocritical to non-believers. Read my post on memories: HOW MEMORIES INFLUENCE OUR THINKING, EMOTIONS, AND BEHAVIOR

When something triggers a painful memory, it then controls our thoughts and feelings, and then our behavior follows.   Hurt feelings create wrong beliefs. The only way to know your wrong beliefs is to ask God to show you and then listen to what you say or think. For example, I heard myself say to my husband he doesn’t care. Then when I was praying, I thought God did not care what I wanted. This is a lie and wrong belief from painful memories when my parents abused and disregarded me. I still carried this wrong belief in my heart, and it was still directing my thoughts. Abuse is the mistreatment of others that causes physical, emotional, and mental harm. Abuse also includes using insulting, coarse, or bad language about or to someone. Read my post on wrong beliefs for more details:  Identify and Replace False Beliefs

With God’s guidance, He has shown me how to heal my heart and purify my soul, which I share in my book called “Hope for Complete Healing.” Healing and purifying our soul are the removal of offenses, unhealthy beliefs, and guilt. As our souls heal and become pure, we will experience freedom, peace, love, and joy. And, we will love others better. Read the following post:  Hope for Lasting Peace, Love, and Victory

C.  Emotional Health is Directly Related to Physical Health

One major benefit of healing the negative issues of my heart and soul is physical healing. The Bible explains this process in 3 John 2, which states, Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul.” And in, Proverbs 14:30 it states, A tranquil (peaceful) heart gives life to the flesh (body), but envy makes the bones rot.” Envy is a feeling of discontent and ill will because of another’s advantages, possessions, etc.; and a resentful dislike of another who has something desirable. The synonyms of envy are: jealousy, greed, bitterness, resentful, and spite, all of which is sin.  Sin corrupts our soul, so we need to purify the sin out of our soul to heal our heart.

When we envy our minds are on the things of the earth and on what other people have and we don’t have, which will cause us to be discontent and miserable. Misery leads to negative feelings of resentment and bitterness, which generate painful memories.  Painful memories generate negative energy, which creates stress that then causes the cells of our body to degenerate.  So, our physical heart will suffer harm from the negative feelings in our emotional heart.  There is a lot of research on this topic, I explain this in more detail in the following chapter of my book: 4–Physical Healing

The following verse also equates healing with turning away from evil. Doing evil is synonymous with sinning. Proverbs 3:7-8 states, Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and turn away from evil. 8) It will be healing to your flesh (body) and refreshment to your bones.” Evil is being and doing morally bad or wrong things to harm or cause trouble for people. Fearing the LORD is deep respect and awe for the power, majesty, and holiness of God and His judgment and wrath for those who do evil. This respect causes us to turn from evil and do what is right in God’s eyes, not our own.  Proverbs 8:13 states, The fear of the LORD is hatred of evil.  Pride and arrogance and the way of evil (evil behavior) and perverted speech I hate.”  You may like to read the following posts. EVIL—What is it and what is the remedy? and HOW PRIDE DESTROYS and  #1 Destroyer of All Relationships and the Solution

When you feel peace, you feel positive don’t you?  Peace generates a positive energy that removes negative stress from our bodies.  When we pray and put our trust in God, we feel peace.  And, as we look to Jesus and keep our minds focused on the things above, the life of Christ will flow through us and give life to our physical bodies. And according to Isaiah 26:3 we will have perfect peace when our minds are stayed on Him, because we trust Him to provide what we need and what is best for us. This is accomplished by turning every thought into a prayer to God. I have several posts on trust and peace you might like to read: Thoughts That Create Peace Within and WithoutTRUST Leads to PEACE,  Trust God to Keep His Promises,  15 Promises We Can Trust God to Keep, and Psalm 91 Posts

D.  Conclusion

Healing our heart and purifying our soul has the following benefits.

  1. Allows us to make right and moral good choices.
  2. Allows us to seek God with a pure heart and be in right fellowship with Him.
  3. Reduces the negative stress on our bodies to allow physical healing.
  4. We will love others well.

If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

Bondage to Unseen Controls

What are the unseen controls that keep us in bondage?  Do you feel hopeless to overcome the things that seem to control your decisions?   For me, I felt hopeless to control my reaction of anger and anxiety.  I also felt hopeless to control my sugar addiction.  As I work with incarcerated girls at the county jail, they tell me of their hopelessness to control their bondage to drugs and alcohol.   There are many unseen controls influencing us, such as our painful memories from offenses and demonic activity influencing our thought life.

We have a choice to submit our thought life to God or to the devil.  My series of posts on Psalm 91 contain helpful information on how to overcome the bondage and unseen control of the demonic activity around us.  I will be honest; this topic can sound scary.  The reason the unseen demonic world is scary is because we lack understanding.  Our lack of understanding causes us to feel helpless and hopeless to control what happens.  My posts on Psalm 91, explain how to overcome the unseen control of demons and not be afraid:  Psalm 91 posts.

There are two extremes people take concerning Satan and demons. One extreme is to ignore the fact that the unseen demonic world (see Ephesians 6:12) can tempt and influence us.  The other extreme is the Christian who has a fearful preoccupation or fascination with Satan and his unseen kingdom of darkness. The writer, C. S. Lewis, also said there are two wrong extremes, which are to deny the existence of evil spirits or to see them everywhere.  To understand the spirit world better, read the following post: Four Realities of the Spirit World

The Bible, which is the Word of God, is the authority on the unseen demonic world.  Ephesians 6:10-15 tell us how we can stand firm against the schemes of the devil.  Ephesians 2:1 tells us that the devil is the ruler of this world.  It is in our best interest to understand how the demon’s work in our lives. When I share this reality with the precious ladies in my county jail Bible study, they are fill with hope that they can be free from the bondage they are in.

I am now editing a book describing the schemes the unseen demonic world uses to put thoughts in our minds that cause relational damage with God and with others.  I hope to publish it soon. I am researching publishing options.  If anyone has any advice for me, please share.

The second source of unseen control in our lives is from our past experiences.  I have overcome many unseen controls in my life, especially strongholds, and I share my message of hope in the book on my website.  My book explains a successful method to overcome the bondage of the unseen control from our painful memories.  Painful memories are created when we take offense to someone’s perceived or actual wrong actions toward us.  I explain the effects of painful memories in my book and how to heal them.  I give this book to the precious ladies I meet at the county jail, and I have seen marvelous results. To learn more about how offenses destroy us and our relationships and how to overcome them, read #1 Destroyer of All Relationships and the Solution.  I invite you to read my short book of hope starting here: 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories.


If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

Wise Thoughts vs. Foolish Thoughts

Do you know anyone who is wise? How do they think? What are wise thoughts? What are foolish thoughts?

The Bible answers all these questions in Proverbs:

The thoughts of a wise person:
a) fear the Lord and shun evil (3:7, 14:16);
b) receive instruction and listen to counsel (9:9, 12:15);
c) overlook an insult and conceal dishonor (12:16);
d) seeks to understand (14:8);
e) are discerning and gracious (15:31);
f) seeks knowledge (18:15);
g) turns away from anger (29:8).

The thoughts of a foolish person:
a) right in their own eyes (11:30);
b) shows annoyance at once (12:16);
c) lashes out in pride (14:3);
d) is deceptive (14:8);
e) arrogant and careless (14:16);
f) does not want to understand but reveal their own mind (18:2);
g) quick to quarrel (20:3);
h) trust in themselves (28:26);
i) loses temper (29:11).

Everyone has foolish thoughts from time to time.  God spoke through King Solomon to write the Proverbs.  It appears that a fool has pride issues.  So, if you have foolish thoughts, ask God to show you the pride in your heart. To know more about pride, read my post called, HOW PRIDE DESTROYS

James 4:13-18 explains two kinds of wisdom, which do you have?

Who is wise and understanding among you?
Let him show it by his
good (
right, helpful, self-sacrifice)
conduct (
behavior, conversation) and works (deeds)
done in the meekness (
gentleness, humility) of wisdom. (4:13)

>> What are examples of behaviors and deeds that appear to be wise? 

>> Would your family members or co-workers say you are wise and understanding based on your behavior and deeds?


But if you have
bitter jealousy (envy-desire to enrich yourself) and
selfish ambition (strife, contention)
in your hearts, do not boast (be arrogant) and lie against (deny) the truth. (4:14)

Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly (worldly), unspiritual (sensual, beastly, natural), of the devil (demonic). (4:15)

For where jealousy (envy) and selfish ambition (contention, strife) exist,
there will be disorder (confusion) and
every vile practice (evil work, foul deed). (4:16)


But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable (peace-loving), gentle (considerate),
open to reason (submissive, easy to intreat, yielding),
full of mercy and good fruits,
impartial (without partiality, unwavering) and
sincere (without hypocrisy). (4:17)

And a harvest (the fruit) of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace. (4:18)

>> Do you think of how to spread peace as a wise person or do you sow strife as a fool?

>> How do you sow peace?  Who do you need to sow peace with?

If you have the thoughts and actions of a foolish person, then ask God to show you why, because God knows the source of your thoughts. In my experience, painful memories and the offenses they create caused me to be foolish in my thinking and actions. Only as I was healed of subconscious offenses did I begin to be wise in my thinking and behavior. Read my short book on this website of my research and experience on how to heal subconscious painful memories and offenses.  1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

The reason I encourage you to seek God to show you the hidden issues of your heart is because He knows everything about you as explained in Psalms 139:1-4.

1 You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue, you,
Lord, know it completely.

If you struggle with having peaceful thoughts, please read the following posts:

PEACE—A Parenting and Marital Goal

Hope for Lasting Peace, Love, and Victory

#1 Destroyer of All Relationships and the Solution

Thoughts That Create Peace Within and Without


If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

What Controls Your Thoughts?

Just like this waterfall, we are constantly thinking, but where do our thoughts come from?  We know thoughts control our behavior, but what controls our thoughts?  If we can control our thoughts, then we can control our behavior.  I have been pondering this question for several years, and I came up with five scenarios of what controls our thoughts and where they come from.

The first scenario: Does knowledge affect our thoughts?  For instance, I know that eating certain foods create health problems, yet I mindlessly eat them.  Why?  Apparently, knowledge does not control our thoughts, but they should.  However, paring knowledge with a feeling will affect our thoughts and decisions.  For example, I knew corn was not good for me to eat, but I loved eating tacos and corn chips with salsa.  It wasn’t until I associated eating corn products with my severe joint and back pain that I changed my thinking.  Now when I see anything with corn, I have no desire to eat it because I associate pain with this knowledge.  To learn more, read my post about becoming free from infirmity.  Or, you may have knowledge that so-and-so lies, but it means nothing to you until that person deceives you, and you associate feelings of distrust to that knowledge.

The second scenario: Words and images create and control thoughts because they create and control our feelings, both good and bad.  Feelings then create memories, that then create beliefs and the corresponding behavior.  For example, when you see a beautiful sunset or hear beautiful music that makes you feel good, you will remember it.  And for instance, watching the news, a movie, or a TV show that causes you to feel happy or sad, security or fear, peace or anxiety, etc., which then cause those thoughts to become a memory.  For example, I watched a movie where two women were abducted, and bad things happened to them.  After watching this movie, I became fearful of being abducted. This fear was irrational because the fear was not credible. See the post about becoming free from anxiety to learn more.  And how I became free from anxiety disorder; Why, What, and How to Submit to God and be FREE

The third scenario: Unseen spirits putting thoughts in our minds, which then direct our feelings, beliefs, and behavior.  You may have seen the image of a devil figure on one shoulder and an angel figure on the other shoulder.  The devil figure is telling you to do something bad, and the angel figure is telling you to do something good.  You can’t say, the devil made me do it, to avoid punishment because all thoughts are within our control, which I will explain in another post. This scenario may sound funny, but I have studied these phenomena and have written a book (now editing) about this topic.

The fourth scenario:  Do our habits indirectly create thoughts?  Have you driven somewhere and out of habit you turn at a certain place even though you did not intend to turn there?  How often do we automatically or mindlessly do things out of habit?  Habits can be beneficial, i.e., brushing your teeth or harmful, i.e., not brushing your teeth.  Because bad habits generate automatic responses to do something harmful, they need to be reprogrammed.  For example, I have a bad habit of eating candy from the candy dish at work.  I know this is not good for my health or weight (scenario one).  So why do I do it?  Some bad habits are controlling addictions, e.g., smoking, drinking alcohol, using drugs, watching too much TV, eating too much food, etc.  Read my post on becoming free from addictions to learn more.  The next time you automatically do something, ask yourself the question, why?  And, “Is this what I really want to do?”  “Is this good and beneficial?”

The fifth scenario:  Do our thoughts come from subconscious memories?  I can testify that this is true.  Conscious and subconscious painful memories generate poor behavior when triggered by the current feelings.  Read my post about memories to learn more.

I would love to know what your thoughts are about thoughts.

Also, read my short book to learn how to transform thoughts: 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories


If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

Identify and Replace False Beliefs

A false or unhealthy belief is a lie about the true nature of reality about us, life, and God. For example, if you believe you are not worthy of love, you believe a lie. These lies come from words spoken over us and from memories of offenses done against us. For example, I grew up in a very dysfunctional angry “Christian” home, and I developed a lot of false beliefs about myself, other people, life, and God. I share my story in more detail in the following post: My Story.

The following nine categories of unhealthy, destructive beliefs distort the way we view everything in life.

1. I am unlovable. I am insignificant. I am flawed.

2. I am hopeless. I am worthless. Life is hopeless.

3. Something bad will happen. The future will be like the past. I’m not OK.

4. Something must change right now for me to be OK.

5. People will take advantage of me. People are too sensitive.

6. I am bad. I am not good enough. I am unforgivable.

7. People are out to get me. I must be in control. It’s not fair.

8. People must think well of me for me to be OK.

9. I can’t do it. I am not capable. Others should do it for me. It’s not fair.

The Healing Codes Manual by Loyd and Johnson, p. 55

We internalize these unhealthy, false beliefs at a subconscious level.  And, they cause us to live in self-destructive ways. There are many self-destructive behaviors, such as cutting, alcohol and drug abuse, uncontrollable anger, self-debasing comments, anxiety, etc.  The beliefs mentioned above may result in addictions to cover over the painful feelings these beliefs generate.  To learn more about addictions, read my post called Addiction Strongholds. Unhealthy beliefs also create stress in our bodies that lead to illness and disease, which is explained in detail in my book on this website.

Do the following to uncover your unhealthy beliefs.  First, pay attention to your thoughts and reactions and write down strong emotional reactions. Second, ask God to show you the unhealthy belief(s) that is generating your wrong thinking in your reactions.  Third, trace backward from negative fruit in your life, and prayerfully ask God to show you the answer to the following question, “what is the root of this fruit?”

Wrong thinking creates negative feelings, which directs unloving, destructive behavior so ask God to show you the link.  Also, look for a link to a trauma memory, offense, and word curses because they also create unhealthy belief(s).  Some examples of word curses are: “I will probably fail. I will most likely end up in divorce. Nobody likes me. All politicians are evil. A godly person can’t succeed in business.” Have you thought these?  He will show you so you can then remove it through prayer and repentance, which I explain how on my website, 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

Reading self-help books will also reveal unhealthy beliefs and wrong thinking.  I especially like the book called “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey.  I encourage you to read my adapted summary of the right beliefs and thoughts we should have according to Mr. Covey.  Healthy Thinking and Behaving from Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

Read each of the Issues Worksheets to learn about other subconscious unhealthy beliefs we can have and the truth to replace these unhealthy beliefs.  LOVE Issues, JOY Issues, PEACE Issues, PATIENCE Issues, KINDNESS Issues, GOODNESS Issues, TRUST AND FAITHFULNESS Issues, MEEKNESS, HUMILITY, AND GENTLENESS Issues, and SELF-CONTROL Issues.

Read, who God is and what you can be thankful for to replace the lies you believe about God and yourself.


If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

#1 Destroyer of All Relationships and the Solution

Let’s explore the reasons people break off a relationship, quite a job, or divorce. When we know a cause then we can find a solution. I was the kind of person that was upset about everything though I wanted peace. I was quick to get angry. Why? After many years of research and thinking deeply of possible causes, I figured out the solution. After trying the solution, I can testify it works.  I chose the picture above as an example of what is destroying relationships today; offenses from political differences.

Think back to a time you were upset about something. Why were you upset? What caused you to get upset?  Does the picture of this post upset you?  In this post I want to challenge you to think deeply about what causes arguments and strife. It is helpful to journal your thoughts concerning causes for strife in your relationships.

Let’s begin our exploration with the following understanding. Most of us are self-centered people, and we live and work with self-centered people, who want our own way.  And, we don’t know how to love well. Would you agree?

Whatever the reasons for strife, it always comes down to someone becoming offended, then getting upset. An offense is a resentment, hurt feeling, or displeasure from unfairness, mistreatment, disrespect, betrayal, being ignored or not getting what they want.  Becoming offended can happen many times a day, especially when you have to share the road with other drivers or space with another person or watching the news. So, be mindful of the times you are annoyed, angry, miffed, irritated, frustrated, etc. Why? Really think about why. Why do you think you got offended?

A major cause of strife is pride. Pride caused me to be offended most of the time.  I would think the following thoughts: “How dare someone (fill in the blank).”  “They had no right to do that.”  “Who do they think they are?”  If you were honest as to why you get upset, you too would recognize a pride issue.  Please read my post on pride to learn more: HOW PRIDE DESTROYS

Another cause for strife is when someone says something hurtful that creates an offense in our hearts. Often words hurt our pride. A person’s words reveal the condition of their heart.  Therefore, the person saying the hurtful words is also hurting from offenses they have stored in their hearts. Read the following posts for a better understanding:  WORDS HAVE POWER—Part I: Overcoming The Destruction of Offensive Words  and WORDS HAVE POWER—PART II: Words produce death or life energy

Another cause for strife is unrealistic expectations. For example, I became upset with my husband because he did not take care of me when I was sick like his father takes care of his mother. This is an unrealistic expectation because my husband is not like his father, and it is not reasonable for me to expect him to be. Once I realized why I was offended, then I could deal with it rationally. But before I rationally thought through why I was irritated with my husband, I said a hurtful things to him. My hurtful words caused him to become offended, then he said hurtful things back. Do you see how this situation could escalate quickly and dissolve the relationship?

Unresolved negative issues also cause strife. For example, I became offended by the words on an anniversary card my wonderful husband gave me.  The card reminded me of an unresolved painful issue with my first husband.  Unfortunately, I allowed the offense to get into my heart and control my feelings, and I became miserable and said hurtful things.  When I dealt with the negative issue with my first husband that caused me to be offended, then I could resolve my offense and live in peace. To become free from the control of our past negative heart issues and painful memories, I invite you to visit my website and read my short book: 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

As soon as we recognize we do not have peace, we should ask if we are offended.  When we become offended, we enter the fight-or-flight mode. The fight-or-flight stress response stimulates the lower brain and we enter survival mode. Survival mode stops us from thinking rationally about the situation, which is why relationships dissolve quickly. You know you are in survival mode when you become upset when a goal or expectation is not met.  If you see yourself losing control of your emotions, walk back your emotions and ask, why am I upset? Why is this important to me? What is my part in this disagreement or unexpected negative situation? What solution do I need for a win/win? What am I willing or not willing to do?  Consider if the concern causing you to lose peace is within your circle of influence.  If it is not, then let it go or pray about it.  These are only suggested questions to help you think rationally and not reactively. 

Think about the last argument you were in or the last time you were frustrated. Using the definition of an offense, which is a resentment, hurt feeling, or displeasure from (fill in the blank), can you identify what you or the other person was offended about? As you may have already figured out, being offended is the single most destructive force in any relationship. But once you discover the cause of the offense then you can work to solve it. My short book called “Hope for Complete Healing” on my website identifies many causes for offense and the solution. I encourage you to read it so you can love well and have stronger relationships.

Follow these seven actions for a great relationship, or eight for SUPER GREAT!

1) Always stay in forgiveness and do not hold grudges. Expect that your partner/spouse/friend will let you down and may not meet your expectations from time to time. Being offended blocks love, kindness, peace, joy, and patience.
2) Be thankful for strengths and abilities and focus on these. It is easy to focus on what you don’t like and tell them about it.
3) Be committed. Genuine commitment is to be wholly focused on what is best and what will strengthen the relationship.
4) Communicate complete thoughts.  Don’t assume the other person heard you or understands. Have a respectful discussion to help you convey your meaning and expectations.  Don’t mind read and make assumptions.  Seek to understand what the other person is thinking without being critical.
5) Resolve conflicts using the “pen method.” The person holding the pen explains their perspective and logic. Then hand the pen to the other person, and they reflect on what they heard you say and explains their perspective and rationale. Go back and forth until you come to a win/win for both people.
6) Create a relationship vision or mission statement. Ask yourself and each other this question: “How do I want our relationship to be in 5, 10, 15, or 30 years. Write out a plan to accomplish your vision or mission.
7) Work through past issues, so your reactions and expectations are not controlled by your past.
8) Make the Lord and the Word of God a priority in your life and relationships.  The Bible says the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, so if you want to be wise, then God needs to be your source.

If you ever get a chance, go to a Mark Gungor marriage seminar called “Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage.”  He is funny and to the point. Go to https://markgungor.com/.  On this website is a test that determines what motivates you the most.  He calls it the Flag Page, because it determines what country you are from: Control, Perfect, Peace, or Fun.  Finding out what motivated me was very helpful to understand why I do what I do.  It was also very helpful to know what motivates my husband.

To learn healthy behaviors for a healthy relationship, I encourage you to read the adapted summary of “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey. Healthy Thinking and Behaving from Seven Habits of Highly Effective People


If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).

WORDS HAVE POWER—PART II: Words Produce Death or Life Energy

Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21a). The subject of words having power is not a new idea, but so often we forget that our words have power.  What happens when someone says hurtful things to you?  How do you respond?  How about when someone encourages you?  How does that make you feel?   Words can cripple us or help us soar and accomplish great things.

Consider the following; anytime we speak an unloving, hurtful word to someone, we are wounding the other person and bringing death to that relationship. Would you agree? Also, anytime we speak a negative word about ourselves and our ability; it produces death to our potential. For example, when I believe and say, “I cannot do this;” well then, I won’t be able to do it. If I believe and say, “I’m too stupid,” “I’ll never get this;” well then, I have destroyed my potential ability.

For example, when I told my mother I was going to college, she told me I was too stupid. This comment affected me for several decades. I went to college anyway and graduated.  I struggled, but I more than compensated with my other abilities and God’s help. Thirty years later, I contemplated taking graduate-level classes. I was speaking death into my ability because of the words my mother spoke over me many years earlier. First, I forgave her and asked God to take that word curse off me.  Second, I was encouraged by the truth in 1 Corinthians 2:16b which states, But we have the mind of Christ.”  This encouragement gave me hope, and I immediately said, yes, I can go to graduate school because with Christ’s mind I could do it. I spoke this truth and it changed my thinking, which affected the course of my life. I applied to graduate school and was accepted. And, because I relied on Christ’s ability and not my insecurity, I did very well.

Can our words bring literal death to a person? I believe it could, especially when we speak words like, I wish you were dead, or it would be better if you would be gone. If you are struggling with these types of word curses, please visit my website to learn how to overcome them. Often these people, who hear these words, commit suicide because of the spirit of rejection is so heavy on them.  We need words of encouragement that give hope and empowerment.  The Word of God is full of encouragement and words of hope.  Read through the nine “Issues Worksheets” on my website to fill your mind with empowering truth and hope.  Go to hopeforcompletehealing.com

Furthermore, we all want to be loved and to love.  So, when you speak destructive words of rejection to or about someone, you release the negative energy of that word. For example, one inmate in my bible study said that she was told she would be a failure.  Being adopted, she already felt rejection, then her adopted mother who believed in her died when she was young.  She believed she would be a failure and the feelings of rejection influenced her to make many wrong decisions, which ultimately caused her to end up in jail. Once she became aware of the curses put on her, she forgave the people and put off the curses.  She transformed right in front of me, and I saw a tremendous peace and joy come over her. Once we become aware of curses spoken to us by others, we too can verbally loose and put them off and then bind in the truth of God’s Word.

Remember the saying “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” This saying is a lie.  Hurt people, who have been offended by unloving words and deeds, continue to hurt people. My first husband would speak words of death over me all the time, and I became very depressed and suicidal. My psychologist told me that his opinion was not the truth. My ex-husband was a hurting little boy from an alcoholic family, who had many painful memories. Therefore, his opinion was shaped by the hurt in his heart, which came out of his mouth and created death energy in my soul.

The following verses explain the connection between our thoughts, heart, and words.

Matthew 15:18-19 states, “But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. 19) For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander.”

Luke 6:45 states, “The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”

The first step to change an evil heart is to change our negative heart issues generated from painful memories. Ask God to show you why you are having negative issues, which come from being offended when we are not loved as we want to be loved. Being offended opens the door to the temptation to be angry, bitter, depressed, then to slander, gossip, and do hurtful things.  If you hear yourself saying unloving things or unloving things have been said to you, then please visit my website and read how you can discover a new reality for your life. 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

If you haven’t read my first post on the power of our words, I invite you to read it now: WORDS HAVE POWER—Part I: Overcoming The Power of Offensive Words


If you find my posts and website helpful, then please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected and no part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name so I know you are a real person making the request.

P.S.: Experiencing a lasting change in your life depends on having a right relationship with God the Father through believing in His Son Jesus Christ and obeying His command to love (1 John 3).