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How to Weed out the Protection Belief and Grow Kindness

Why do we have a strong urge to protect ourselves? What are some things we are protecting? For example, most of us want to protect our reputations, physical comfort, egos, heart, and so on. But, if you are in a physically abusive situation, you need to protect yourself and seek a safe place to go. Often, we do not help someone because we fear for our safety, especially in a high-crime area. That kind of protection is reasonable. Unhealthy protection develops because of emotional pain. When we set up walls to protect our hearts, it also prevents us from showing kindness, and I will explain why.

Every experience we have in life affects our perspective going forward. Our perspectives create healthy and unhealthy beliefs. For example, if someone wearing a black ski hat robs you, that will change how you view everyone wearing a black ski hat. Do you see what I mean? My website is about changing unhealthy beliefs to experience a new reality. What we think and say comes from what we believe, which directs our attitudes and behaviors. Our choices determine how healthy our relationships will be. In this series of posts, I will expose the unhealthy beliefs that control our lives and how to transform them with the truth to experience a new reality.

What is the purpose of protective beliefs?

I can only speak for myself, but my experience should be similar to many others if I am like the typical human. My unhealthy protection belief began very early because I grew up in a volatile, unstable home, so I had to protect myself to survive my childhood. I will not discuss the many ways we protect ourselves because there are many ways. Let God show you and ask Him to heal the painful memories that developed your protective behaviors.

Protecting our hurting hearts is similar to putting a cast on a broken arm. The cast protects the arm so it can heal. But once the arm mends, the cast has to come off; otherwise, your arm can’t grow normally because of the restriction. In the same way, we need protection while our hearts heal, but if we don’t remove those protections, it will cripple our ability to show love and kindness.

The biblical truths I share in this post are difficult to apply in our strength, especially when we are hurting from an evil done against us. We need to depend on Christ’s strength through His Spirit in us. Ephesians 3:16 states, “According to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being.” Applying these truths through Christ Jesus’s strength and power will remove the restrictive protection beliefs so you can be free to love and be kind.

Where Does the Protection Belief Come From and What is the Truth that Transforms it?

When you are in an unfriendly environment (i.e., work, home, school, and so on), you feel the need to set up boundaries to protect yourself, which may be necessary. We often avoid the unfriendly person or hide, so we do not have to interact with the unkind or hostile person. You may not see the unkind person as an enemy, but dictionary.com (11/06/2021) defines an enemy as “a person who feels hatred for, fosters harmful designs against, or engages in antagonistic activities against another; an adversary or opponent.” Read my post about how to set healthy boundaries: Healthy Boundaries for Toxic Emotions and People.

The truth: Luke 6:35-36 states, “But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. ³⁶Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.”

Fear causes us to develop an unhealthy protection belief, especially irrational fear like prepping, which is preparing for something that may never happen. I have to confess, I have a touch of that myself, especially with the fear that Biden’s vax-mandate will crash our economy when essential workers walk off the job, then we can’t buy food or other essentials (irrational fear, I know). But will my fear prevent me from showing kindness to my neighbor who is hungry and needs food? To learn how to overcome fear, read HOW FEAR CONTROLS YOU! – ANXIETY: Protected by Worry and Fear Strongholds

The truth: Hebrews 13:16 states, “Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.” And Philippians 4:5-7 states, “Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Betrayal causes us to protect ourselves. I feel betrayed when the people I thought should have loved and protected me are unkind and cruel. We protect our hearts to prevent being betrayed again. Sexual abuse and adultery, I believe, are the worst kind of betrayals. Being betrayed leads to trust and anger issues, which are forms of protection to keep people at a distance. Read my post about how to overcome betrayal: Pt. 1: Forsaken? Betrayed? How to Trust Again.

The truth: Ephesians 4:31-32 states, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. ³²Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

The protection belief generates trust issues. When you are hurt or offended by an unkind word, a breakup, an unfair action, ostracized from a group, criticism, and so on, you naturally protect your heart from being hurt again. This type of protection often results in passive-aggressive behaviors and depression. Unfortunately, we live in an evil world of hurting people who do evil to others. Ask God to show you the ways you were or are hurtful. One of the definitions of evil is being harmful or detrimental (dictionary.com). You can read my post on overcoming trust issues here.

The truth: 1Peter 3:9-11 states, “Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. ¹⁰For ‘Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it.’” And Romans 12:17-18 states, “Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. ¹⁸If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”

A person spreading gossip or who is lying about you produces self-protection reactions. Anytime there is lying, it destroys reputations and relationships. A person who lies, gossips, or slanders has insecurity issues and is easily controlled by the devil. You can learn how to overcome insecurity by reading this post: Freedom from Insecurity, which is Protected by Betrayal and Control Strongholds

The truth: 2Timothy 2:24-26 states, “And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.”

Conclusion:

All the situations described above cause painful memories and protection beliefs. These painful memories reinforce our need to protect ourselves for years to come. The protection beliefs prevent us from showing genuine kindness to people, especially to those we feel don’t deserve it. Only through the strength and power of the Holy Spirit in us can we overcome and transform the protective strongholds in our lives. The e-book on my website will help you overcome painful memories and unhealthy beliefs. Begin reading 1–Healing Begins by Transforming Painful Memories

How To Change Unhealthy Beliefs

1. To transform unhealthy beliefs, recognize you have them. Listen to what you are saying and pay attention to your thoughts. Ask God to search your heart and mind to reveal your unhealthy beliefs.

2. Submit the wrong thinking to God and ask Him to show you the truth.

3. Ask God to show you if there is a painful memory controlling your thoughts and decisions.

4. Pray and put off the unhealthy belief controlling your thoughts and put on the truth God shows you from His Word.

KINDNESS Issues

All verses are from the English Standard Bible unless otherwise indicated. If you find my posts and website helpful, please share the links with your friends and family, hopeforcompletehealing.com. The information is copyright protected. No part of the posts or my book may be reproduced without proper citation to Joyce Hanscom and this website.

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How to Decrease Fairness Belief to Increase Patience

“They are not doing their fair share (whine).” When you think of fairness, what comes to your mind? Fairness can be equality, impartiality, justice, and doing what is right. The problem with the unhealthy belief that everything should be fair is that each person has a different perspective of what is a just and equitable action or behavior. What I think is equal, impartial, or fair may not be what you think. So, patience is necessary for those times when your expectation of what you think is fair is not realized. The only one who is truly just is God, yet many people do not trust that He is fair because of this harmful belief. God is righteous and will always do what is right according to His holiness, though we may not understand it.

“Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne; steadfast love and faithfulness go before you.” – Psalm 89:14

“The LORD works righteousness and justice for all who are oppressed.” – Psalm 103:6

“Blessed are they who observe justice, who do righteousness at all times!” – Psalm 106:3

“To do righteousness and justice is more acceptable to the LORD than sacrifice.” – Proverbs 21:3

“Evil men do not understand justice, but those who seek the LORD understand it completely.” – Proverbs 28:5

My website is about changing unhealthy beliefs to experience a new reality. What we think and say comes from what we believe, and what we believe directs our behavior. Our choices determine how healthy our relationships will be. In this series of posts, I will expose the unhealthy beliefs that control our lives and how to transform them with the truth to experience a new reality.

Where Does the Unhealthy Fairness Belief Come From?

Let’s look at our opening statement. “They are not doing their fair share (whine).” Or “They are not pulling their fair share of the work.” Can you hear the judgmental whine? I’m not making fun because I have said that plenty of times. So, the source of the fairness belief begins with comparison and thinking we are doing more than someone else, or have less than someone else, and so on. For example, if you have a liberal mindset, you think the conservatives are not being just and impartial. The conservatives think that the views of the liberals are unjust and not right. It is all a matter of point of view or bias.

Another source is unmet expectations. When we expect that the workload will be shared, yet we think we are doing more work than the other person, they may be thinking they are doing more work than you. You might think you are not getting a fair price, but the other person thinks they are giving you a fair deal. So, fairness is a matter of perspective, which is often based on our self-centered pride. Again, we see the ugly head of pride in yet another unhealthy belief. Pride demands justice and fairness especially when it benefits our self-centered desires. Only when we are humble can we be patient when our standard of fairness and justice is not achievable.

A complaining attitude instead of a thankful attitude also breeds the unhealthy fairness belief of inequality. So, be grateful instead of comparing yourself with someone else and what they are doing or not doing or have that you don’t have.

So, why should we be patient when we feel wronged, and what is patience?

Patience is the evidence of love (1Cor.13:4). When we love others, we are right with God because we love as He loves. John 15:12-14 states, “This is my commandment that you love one another as I have loved you. ¹³ Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life [selfish pride] for his friends. ¹⁴ You are my friends if you do what I command you.” Also, 1John 4:8 states, “Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.”

The following definitions of patience come from Webster’s dictionary. Patience is bearing or enduring pain, trouble, inconvenience, etc., without complaint, losing self-control, making a disturbance, etc. To be forbearing: tolerate (to put up with). Keep oneself in check. It is refusing to be provoked or angered, as by an insult or frustration. And, it is merciful: compassionate or kindly forbearance shown toward an offender, an enemy, or person in one’s power. Lastly, patience is being just: living with a moral principle that determines right conduct and fairness by treating all sides alike.

The Truth That Transforms the Unhealthy Fairness Belief

First, accept that life is not fair, and fairness is arbitrary, which is why we need to be humble and patient with one another.

Second, ask God to reveal if you have resentment toward an unfair action in your past that is related to the offense you have taken in your current situation. For example, when I was a teenager, I felt it was unfair that I had to spend hours doing the dishes that everyone piled up. I became resentful of my sisters because I felt they were dirtying too many dishes. Fast forward to a few years ago; I still resented having to do the dishes. I had my sons take turns doing the dishes, and then they moved out. I talked to my husband about my resentment and asked if he would help, which he did reluctantly, but he often wouldn’t help at all. The truth that set me free from my irrational fairness belief was that I am called to serve others in love as Jesus came to serve.

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. ⁴ Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. ⁵ Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, ⁶who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, ⁷but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.” – Philippians 2:3-7

“For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh [selfish-pride], but through love serve one another.” – Galatians 5:13

Third, instead of stewing about something you feel is unfair, talk to the person involved in the comparison. Calmly state your observation or point of view, then ask for the other person’s point of view on the situation with a humble attitude. Ask if you can work out a more equitable situation to reduce frustration for both of you. If the other person does not see your perspective, then be patient with them.

How To Change Unhealthy Beliefs

1. To transform unhealthy beliefs, recognize you have them. Listen to what you are saying and pay attention to your thoughts.

2. Submit the wrong thinking to God and ask Him to show you the truth.

3. Ask God to show you if you have a painful memory or resentment controlling your thoughts and decisions.

4. Pray and put off the unhealthy belief controlling your thoughts and put on the truth God shows you from His Word.

I first loosed the wrong thinking that God showed me and replaced it with scripture truths like the following:

Being patient shows wisdom. It is to my glory to overlook an offense and not be prideful and arrogant. Prov. 19:11; Eccl. 7:8b
Being patient calms a quarrel, but anger stirs up strife, so I put off my anger and wanting things my way. Prov 15:18
I can be patient with everyone and accept them. And not complain about them but to forgive them as Christ is patient with me and forgives me. 1 Thes. 5:14b; Col. 3:12b,13
I trust God to give me what I truly need in His perfect, divine timing. Phil. 4:19; Luke 12:22-34
I can be humble, gentle, patient, and show tolerance for others in love. Eph. 4:2

A POWERFUL MOOD CHANGER

What is Wrong with Fairness?

How Patience is a Sign of Maturity

WHY HEAL YOUR HEART AND PURIFY YOUR SOUL?

Love From a Pure Heart

How to Eliminate the “My Way is Better” Belief to Sustain Peace

Have you ever thought, “My way is the better way,” or do you associate with someone who insists their way is the only way? Any time someone thinks that their idea or belief is better, there will be strife. This thought comes from the unhealthy belief that you are better than the other person, often making the other person tense and annoyed. The evidence is everywhere, especially in our political climate, where the liberals think their way is best and the conservative thinks their way is better. Can you spell conflict. I have come to realize that I am arrogant when I insist on my way. Peace can only be sustained when we humbly listen to each other, seek to be wiser, and value the other person we disagree with.

Where does the “My Way is Better” Belief Come From?

As I write this post, I feel I need to be transparent with you. I had a severe problem with the “It’s my way or the highway” false belief, which caused strife in my family and in myself. Thankfully, I have overcome this unhealthy belief, and now I live in peace with myself and my family. I expected my family to do everything my way, and if they didn’t, I punished them with my anger. I learned that love does not insist on its own way. 1Corinthians 13:4-5 states, “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful.” Before my heart transformation, I could not meet these expectations of love. You can read about my transformation in the post called WHAT IS INNER LIFE TRANSFORMATION? My Story

The root cause of this unhealthy belief is self-centered pride, which stems from not feeling loved in your formative years. Because I did not feel loved, I developed a self-centered pride, which served me well when I wanted to accomplish a goal but not with relationships. And I could not handle criticism because I thought I did the best work, and my ideas were the best. Then, I was very defensive when someone didn’t like my idea or what I did, which caused strife. Do you see this in your life?

Because we live in a sinful, self-centered world with other self-centered people, not one of us can escape painful memories and negative heart issues from not feeling loved. Therefore, we all need an inner life transformation. Unresolved negative issues affect all our relationships and even our destiny. You can expose them by paying attention to what you think, say, and do.

Another source for this unhealthy belief is not trusting that the other person can or will do things the way you want them to be done. Not trusting comes from past disappointments, betrayal, and, again, not feeling loved. When you don’t get the things you want or when things are not done as you expect, you feel disappointed, which then causes anger, or you worry that your needs will not be met, or you won’t get what you want.

An unsuspecting source for this arrogant belief is ungratefulness, which is a sign of self-centered pride. Being thankful requires that we value others and the things they do or say. But when you don’t feel valued or have peace within yourself, you can’t show sincere thankfulness for what others do. Unthankful people are often critical and only see how they can do it better, which destroys peace.

What Is the Truth That Transforms this Unhealthy Belief?

The truth is that we can take every wrong thought and false belief captive and ask God to take it from us. Suppose you want to sustain peace in your relationships and within yourself. In that case, you need to forgive those who did not show you the love you needed or desired, then ask God to put His love into your heart.

Next, ask God to take the self-centered pride from your heart and give you the heart to serve others and value others as more important. Philippians 2:3-5 states, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. ⁴Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. ⁵Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus.” Pray something like this:

Dear Lord, I put off my selfish pride and wanting things my way, and I put on the attitude and belief that I will do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit. I put on Christ’s attitude of humility and count others as more significant than myself. Lord, forgive me for looking to only satisfy my interests at the cost of creating strife and destroying relationships. Please help me not only to look to fulfill my interests but also to value the interests of others.

The truth is that when you want your way and think it is the best way, you don’t care about the other person and their needs and desires. You become jealous when someone gets their way and prevents you from getting what you want or expect. James 3:16-17 states, “For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile (evil; sinful) practice.¹⁷But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.” Therefore, a person who seeks to be wise is also at peace with themselves and those around them. So strive to be humble and sincerely open to reason and other people’s ideas and desires. I can only imagine what the world would be like if everyone in the world would get rid of their self-centered pride and arrogance and humbly value others as more important than themselves.

How To Change Unhealthy Beliefs

1. To transform unhealthy beliefs, recognize you have them. Listen to what you are saying and pay attention to your thoughts.

2. Submit the wrong thinking to God and ask Him to show you the truth.

3. Ask God to show you if there is a painful memory controlling your thoughts and decisions.

4. Pray and put off the unhealthy belief controlling your thoughts and put on the truth God shows you from His Word.

I first loosed the wrong thinking that God showed me and replaced it with scripture truths like the following:

The peace of Christ rules in my heart, and I am thankful. Col. 3:15

I can be at peace with everyone and do good. Rom. 12:18; Heb. 12:14; 1 Pet. 3:11

I can be peaceable, gentle, showing every consideration for others. Titus 3:2

When I make peace, I will be blessed and be called a child of God. Matt. 5:9

I do not think of myself more highly than others, but in humility, I will regard others as more important than myself. Rom. 12:3; Phil. 2:3

The Core Negative Heart Issue

HOW PRIDE DESTROYS

ALL THOUGHTS ARE WITHIN OUR CONTROL

Can You Be Too Heavenly Minded?

The Link Between Disappointment, Resentment, and Self-control

Spiritual Warfare 3: HOW TO BATTLE FOR PEACE

Thoughts That Create Peace Within and Without

Pt. 1: Forsaken? Betrayed? How to trust again.

How to Dig up the Unforgiving Belief to Grow in Love

Is there someone who hurt you that you can’t bring yourself to forgive from your heart? Do you know someone who can’t forgive?” Do you believe the person who wronged you does not deserve forgiveness? I have come to realize that not forgiving is hatred. My website is about changing unhealthy beliefs to experience a new reality. What we think and say comes from what we believe, and what we believe directs our behavior, and our choices determine our destiny. In this series of posts, I will expose the unhealthy beliefs that control our lives and how to transform them with the truth to experience a new reality.

Where Does the Unforgiving Belief Come From?

The root of unforgiveness is resentment. I was offended by the hurtful words and actions of my mother, father, sisters, friends, and so on, which wounded my soul. The wounds began to fester, and resentment grew. When resentment grows, it becomes bitterness and hate.

Have you known an older person who was bitter because of the wounds from their past? We tend to relive the hurts to justify why we can’t forgive, and we give them the power to control our thoughts. As I said earlier, unforgiveness is hatred toward the person who you feel wronged you. Sometimes we are wronged by someone who did not intentionally want to hurt us, but we take offense by something they said or did or something they did not say or do. Does this make sense? Then there are those we thought loved us yet betrayed us. Betrayal creates a deep wound, and the person who betrayed us is the hardest to forgive.

As I seek God to heal the wounds of my soul, He shows me my resentment toward that person or persons whom I have not forgiven. It may be an offense I have forgotten about, but it grew into resentment that controlled my thoughts. The resentment that kept me in bondage was perceived unfair treatment. I say perceived because I felt something was unfair that may not have been unfair. If I thought my sisters had something I didn’t or got to do something I couldn’t, I would become jealous and think it was unfair.

An example could be that your sibling got a gift you liked. Instead of being happy for them, you became envious and thought it was unfair, especially if they didn’t share their gift with you. Resentment begins to take root. Years later, you wonder why your sibling irritates you. Go to God in prayer and ask Him to show you. You don’t need to forgive your sibling or parents because it was their gift, and they didn’t have to share. But you were offended when they did not share, so you still need to forgive them for not sharing.

Another source of unforgiveness is pride. We often don’t want to forgive because we think that forgiving is excusing them, and we would rather punish them. Unfortunately, we are hurting ourselves more by not forgiving because we give the person who hurt us the power to continue to hurt us through our memories. Sometimes we arrogantly think they don’t deserve to be forgiven. The parable of the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18:21-35 is an example of how pride keeps you from forgiving and what the consequence is. Jesus tells the parable when Peter asks, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times (Matthew 18:21-22). When we don’t show mercy and forgive as the servant didn’t, we will remain in bondage until we do forgive. Mathew 18:35 states, “So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”

What Is the Truth That Transforms this Unhealthy Belief?

When we forgive, the power of the offense that controls our thoughts and behavior is removed. You may never forget the painful event, but the memory of that event won’t have power over your thoughts and feelings. You will be free to love and not be in bondage and controlled by hate.

The most important truth is that God forgives us of our sins, so we must forgive others. Otherwise, He will not forgive us. Matthew 6:14-15 states, “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” We are commanded to forgive, so if we don’t, it becomes a sin. If we are not forgiven of our sins, then we risk losing our place in heaven.

Know that Jesus suffered many wrongs and lies, yet He forgave even those who beat and whipped Him and then crucified Him (Luke 23:34). 1Peter 2:21-25 states, “For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. ²² He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. ²³ When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. ²⁴ He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.” God wants to heal the wounds of your soul from the hurt you suffered at the hands of sinners. Aso, ask God to show you how you have sinned against someone and hurt them because of the hurt in your heart.

How To Change Unhealthy Beliefs

1. To transform unhealthy beliefs, recognize you have them. Listen to what you are saying and pay attention to your thoughts.

2. Submit the wrong thinking to God and ask Him to show you the truth.

3. Ask God to show you if there is a painful memory controlling your thoughts and decisions.

4. Pray and put off the unhealthy belief controlling your thoughts and put on the truth God shows you from His Word.

I first loosed the false beliefs that God showed me and replaced it with scripture truths like the following:

I believe in Jesus and receive His forgiveness, and I believe He will help me forgive others who have sinned against me. Acts 10:43
I can forgive for my own sake, and I receive God’s love and put my trust in Jesus, who forgave me and gave me eternal life. John 3:16
I can forgive others who sinned against me, and I accept forgiveness from God for my sins. Matt. 6:14-15
Forgiving heals my heart so that I can be kind and tenderhearted. Eph. 4:31-32
Forgiveness sets me free from painful memories and opens my heart to love. Col. 3:12-14
I surrender my desire to punish, fill my heart with Your love so I can bless those who hurt me. Rom. 12:14
I can control how I respond to every situation. I choose to have compassion for myself and others. Col. 3:12-14

Conclusion:

Resentment grows into hate and bitterness, where unforgiveness is. I learned that forgiving those who mistreated me or did not meet my expectations helped me overcome my hatred and resentment. The key is to acknowledge you have the resentful feeling quickly, ask God to expose the wrong thinking, then put it off. Next, forgive if you need to and put on the truth. The freedom from the power of my painful memories has allowed me to love others from a pure heart. I can write a lot more, but you understand because everyone has experienced the feeling of resentment from an offense. I would love to hear how you overcame this unhealthy belief.

Anger Issues Protected by Pride and Judgmental Strongholds

Freedom from the Spirit of Jealousy

Hope for Lasting Peace, Love, and Victory

#1 Destroyer of All Relationships and the Solution

WHY HEAL YOUR HEART AND PURIFY YOUR SOUL?

How to Recognize and Eliminate Emotional Cancer

How to Eliminate the “Unworthy” Belief to Have Joy

Have you ever thought, “I have no worth?” This unhealthy belief is one of the many false beliefs that alters reality. My website is about changing unhealthy beliefs to experience a new reality. What we think and say comes from what we believe, and what we believe directs our behavior, and our choices determine our destiny. In this series of posts, I will expose the unhealthy beliefs that control our lives and how to transform them with the truth to experience a new reality. Today’s post will help you learn how to transform the “unworthy” belief that makes you sad and depressed so you can have true joy.

Where Does the Unworthy Belief Come From?

The feelings of being unworthy to be loved and valued were the hardest unhealthy belief to transform. This harmful belief is developed in our formative years when our expectations were not met. As a child, you may think that your parents do not value you or love you because they didn’t let you play with so and so, or get you that toy you wanted, or didn’t come to your school event, and so on. You may have forgotten about the disappointment, but the memory still controls your thoughts and beliefs. Remember when you were a pre-teenager? Those were my worst years. It didn’t help that I had learning difficulties, and my family was very poor, so I didn’t have nice clothing like the other girls. I was so insecure and awkward that I didn’t have many friends. I sat alone most days in the lunchroom and on the bus. Then as a young adult and beginning to date, I won’t go there, you know what I mean. The object of your crush has the power to destroy your sense of worth.

What Is the Truth That Replaces the “Unworthy” Unhealthy Belief?

The unhealthy belief of “I’m unworthy…” can be replaced with different truths depending on the source of rejection or disappointment. When you feel unworthy, you have no joy. I was sad and depressed most of my life, even when I was a Christian. My transformation happened when I asked God to show me why I was so sad. He brought to my mind the memories of unfairness and mistreatment by my parents so I could forgive them and receive His healing. I explain this process in my book on my website. God also transformed my many insecurities from feeling unworthy. Most of the time, our sense of unworthiness comes from our wrong thinking about ourselves. We are our own worst enemy when it comes to feeling unworthy of love and being valued.

I transformed the “unworthy” belief with the truth of what God thinks of me. He sees me as holy and beloved. Colossians 3:12-14 states, “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. ¹⁴ And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” Not feeling loved as a child, pre-teen, teen, or adult because of other people’s unkindness and impatience prevent us from loving others well. My book explains how to put off unhealthy beliefs and put on the truth.

God’s chosen are those who believe that Jesus is His Son and paid the debt for our sin to save us from His wrath for sin. God loved us and sent his Son to the earth to experience the pain and temptations we do. Because Jesus did not sin, He became the perfect sacrifice, and He willingly laid down His life for us so we can be forgiven of our sins and have hope for eternal life.

How To Change Unhealthy Beliefs

1. To transforming unhealthy beliefs, recognize you have them. Listen to what you are saying and pay attention to your thoughts.

2. Take it to God and ask Him to show you the truth.

3. Ask God to show you if there is a painful memory controlling your thoughts and decisions.

4. Pray and put off the unhealthy belief and put on the truth God shows you from His Word.

I first loosed the wrong thinking that God showed me and replaced them with scripture truths like the following:

** I am worthy of being loved because I have been made complete in Christ, and I am a new creation. Col. 2:10; 2 Cor. 5:7

** I am valuable because I am made in the image of God; this makes me significant. Gen. 1:27

** My future is full of hope because God has begun a good work in me, and He will complete it (Phil. 1:6). I am His workmanship created for good work. Eph. 2:10; Phil. 2:12b,13

** I am okay because, by God’s mercy, I am being regenerated in my thinking and renewed in my spirit by the Holy Spirit. Titus 3:5b

** I choose to stay focused on God and receive His love and joy. John 17:13; 15:11

** Nothing has power over me unless I allow it. I choose to rejoice always and not be anxious about anything but continually give my concerns to God with thanksgiving. Phil. 4:4-7

** I am a beautiful work of God, and I am valuable, and I will value myself. Eph. 2:10; Ps. 139:14

** God is love, and God loves me. Nothing in the universe can separate me from the love of God. Rom. 8:39

Conclusion:

The reasons we feel unworthy are many. I learned that forgiving those who had mistreated me or did not meet my expectations helped me overcome my sense of unworthiness. I still struggle with insecurity when my expectations are not met. The key is to acknowledge you have the feeling quickly, find the wrong thinking, put it off, and then forgive if you need to and put on the truth. The experiences in my life showed me that transforming the “unworthy” belief has allowed me to experience joy, God’s love for me, and to love others better. I can write a lot more, but you understand because everyone has experienced the feeling of not being loved and valued. I would love to hear how you overcame this unhealthy belief.

WORDS HAVE POWER—PART II: Words Produce Death or Life Energy

Freedom from the Snares of Disrespect, Unworthiness, and Failure

Breaking Childhood Rejection and Insignificance Strongholds.

12 JOY Stealers

JOY Issues

How to Remove the “I Can’t” Belief to Change Your Destiny

Have you ever said or heard someone say, “I can’t do that?” This unhealthy belief is one of the many false beliefs that determine our destiny. In this series of posts, I will expose the unhealthy beliefs that control our lives and how to transform them with the truth to experience a new reality. What we think and say comes from what we believe, and what we believe directs our behavior, and our choices determine our destiny.

Where Does The Unhealthy Belief That We Can’t Do Something Come From?

The belief that we can’t do something can be based on reality. For example, I can’t play the piano. I took piano lessons and practiced, but my brain is not wired to play the piano. Yet God has given us gifts and abilities. So I recommend taking different personality tests and gift tests to see where you excel. With that said, the false belief that we can’t do something can be based on word curses spoken over us, such as, “You will never be good at….” Or “You can’t do that because you are….” Often, this unhealthy belief comes from past failures. You may have made a vow that you will never try out for a team sport (or something else) because you do not want to be humiliated, so you believe you can’t play sports.

I went out for gymnastics, went to every practice, tried every event, and practiced at my home. But, when the coach selected the competition team, I did not make the cut. I was so mad that I quit and didn’t try another sport. Sometimes we need to try different things to see what we can excel at. For example, I learned to play tennis and read tennis books to learn proper techniques, then I went out for the tennis team and did well. I even played on my college tennis team. Don’t be afraid to try different things to see what you excel at. Fear of failure creates the unhealthy belief that you can’t do something. Not wanting to be compared to someone else prevents us from trying and doing our personal best.

Speaking of college, I wanted to go to Penn State to be a teacher. When I told my mother I was applying, she said I was too stupid. The word curse and painful memory of that encounter are etched in my memory. I forgave her for speaking that word curse, but in reality, she was right, but I was determined, so I took the SATs, applied, and was accepted. My mother did not encourage or support me, so I had to do everything on my own, even drive to the college and move into the dorm by myself. I worked hard to get good grades, plus I had to work a job to make money to pay my expenses. I determined to stay focused on getting my degree and not date anyone, so I wasn’t distracted by a fight or a break-up.

What Is The Truth That Replaces The “I Can’t” Unhealthy Belief?

The unhealthy belief of “I can’t” can be replaced with many truths depending on your situation. I am sure many truths come to your mind. For example, the truth I believed when my mother told me that I was too stupid to go to college is “I will never know I can do it unless I try.” So I came up with a plan, trusted God to help me; though I was not walking close to Him, He was still directing my steps. It turns out my brain was short-circuited by the toxic environment I grew up in; once I left, I could focus and learn. When my children said “I can’t clean my room” or whatever I asked them to do, I told them that “I can’t” means “I certainly am not trying.”

Another truth is that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13). This truth helped me overcome the “I can’t” unhealthy belief when I became a single mother. Knowing God was helping me kept me from despair. The truth that God will provide for all that I needed according to His riches (Philippians 4:19) helped me depend on Him. He did provide all that I needed. You can read my story in the post called Trust God to Keep His Promises.

When God directed me to take graduate classes, I said, “I can’t because it has been 30 years since I got my bachelor’s degree, and I can’t write well.” How many excuses do you make for why you can’t do something. The truth that changed my destiny was realizing I have the mind of Christ (1Corinthians 2:16). I had no confidence in my ability, but I knew Jesus was the creator of the Universe and was all-knowing, and I had His mind. So, I signed up for graduate classes in Distance Education and earned A’s in the four classes I took. Though they were writing-intensive, God provided an excellent writing coach for me. I could not continue taking classes because I was laid off from my job, which paid for my classes. Taking these classes forced me to learn how to write because God directed me to write a book during my lay off. I did not know what He wanted me to write about, and I didn’t know where to begin. With His help, I wrote two books. I hope to publish the first one soon.

How To Change Our Unhealthy Beliefs

1. To transforming unhealthy beliefs, recognize you have them. Listen to what you are saying and pay attention to your thoughts.

2. Take it to God and ask Him to show you the truth.

3. Ask God to show you if there is a painful memory controlling your thoughts and decisions.

4. Pray and put off the unhealthy belief and put on the truth God shows you from His Word.

5. If you fail, then try again. Put your trust in God, and He will direct you and enable you (Proverbs 3:5-6 and 16:9; Psalm 32:8 and 37:23-24).

Conclusion:

The reasons we can’t do something are many, but we can do what we put our minds to when we replace the unhealthy belief that we can’t. You may struggle to do things that others can do well, but try anyway and ask for God’s help, then do your best. I have to confess that I struggled to understand algebra, statistics, and physics, but I did my best and was happy with the grade I achieved even if it was a C. The experiences in my life showed me that transforming the “I can’t” belief allowed me to experience all that God had for me. I can write a lot more, but you understand because everyone has experienced the paralyzing effect of the “I can’t” unhealthy belief. Please leave a comment and share how you overcame the unhealthy belief of “I can’t.”

Addiction Strongholds

WORDS HAVE POWER—PART II: Words Produce Death or Life Energy

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Life Changing Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, salvation for non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name, so I know you are a person making the request.

HOW I SURVIVED THE VIRUS

On September 1, I began fighting the Delta Coronavirus. I am 59, with a weak immune system and several autoimmune diseases. My experience is not CO-VID misinformation but how my husband, sister, and I overcame the virus. So, why did I not get the vaccine when most of my family did get the vaccine? First, I am not a good candidate. Second, I am a logical data analytics person. I wanted to see what data emerged after the COVID shots began. I wanted to observe how effective the shots were, what the side effects were.

I learned that the shots only protect you from getting a bad case of the virus, but you can still get the virus, transmit it to others, and still die. So, why should I get the shot? The data that is glaringly missing and most concerning to me is the side effects. In the beginning, I saw testimonies of people who had side effects, but then they were suppressed. Why? I found out that many who died from the complications of the CO-VID shot were considered coincidental. I have the right to know what my risks are. Also, why are the medical doctors who are sounding the alarm being suppressed and canceled? My skepticism is growing, not because I am stupid, as the media would divisively accuse.

Surviving Any Virus

God created the human body to take care of invading viruses and bacteria and heal itself. But we need to take care of our wonderfully made bodies to have a healthy immune system and a robust endocrine system. First, I eat 50-80% raw food and avoid foods with chemicals and added sugar/corn syrup to stay in good health. Second, I avoid sugar/corn syrup because it is the #1 suppressor of our immune system that also causes the most inflammation in our brains and bodies. Third, I supported my immune system with natural supplements. So, the best way to survive a Corona or SARS virus is to have a healthy body and a strong immune system. Studies showed that those with adequate vitamin D had a greater chance of staying out of the hospital.

Being a school teacher for many years, I was exposed to many viruses. I learned how to keep my immune system strong because, inevitably, I would fight every virus the students brought into the classroom. I took very few sick days when I supplemented with Vitamin C (ascorbates), Zinc picolinate, Echinacea, elderberry syrup, and an odorless garlic supplement to support my immune system. If I got a SARS virus, I would take Myrrh to protect my lungs, which worked well for me. So, when I started to feel sick (soreness in my nose, eyes, and throat), I immediately started supporting my immune system. I also added Stinging Nettle to relieve pain, inflammation, detox, strengthen my immunity, and so on.

Many of my friends, who also got the Delta variant, relied on pharmaceutical drugs to relieve the symptoms and had the most challenging time overcoming this virus. When you need them, there is nothing wrong with pharmaceutical medications, but they do not support the immune system. It took me a little more than three weeks to recover because of my compromised immune system. My husband recovered in about eight days, and my sister recovered in about four days. My sister is a natural health practitioner and did other things to heal faster.

Where is God When We are Sick?

When I had no energy during the worst of the coronavirus fight, I could only pray. I sought God for strength and healing because I did not know if I would get worse and die or overcome it. I reminded God of His faithfulness and promises never to leave nor forsake me. I trusted Him to strengthen my body to fight the coronavirus and give me the wisdom to know what my body needed to fight off the virus. I relied every day on God to help me because I knew He was faithful and loved me. What if I did get worse and ended up in ICU? Would God be less faithful or not love me? Not at all.

Some of my Christian friends did get worse and had to go on oxygen or spend time in the hospital. Sometimes we get bitter at God when our prayers are not answered; sometimes, we reap what we sow. If we put junk food into our bodies, well, we will reap poor health and a weak immune system. I was sick all the time when I ate the typical American diet. I would pray for healing and not be healed. So, I began to educate myself about how to keep our amazing bodies strong. Read my blog post called Sick and Tired? Change Your Destiny! Be Free From the Infirmity Stronghold to learn more about how I changed my destiny by changing what I ate.

Why do we need a vaccine?

Since the development of vaccines, we have defeated many diseases. I am vaccinated against those diseases, and so are my children. I discovered that the COVID shot is not a true vaccine and is not designed to eliminate disease. The Moderna and Pfizer injections do not have any attenuated form of the intended organism within their solutions, which does not meet the vaccine classification.

We were told to get the vaccine so we could eradicate COVID and get back to normal. We all wanted that, and many blindly flocked to get the injections, but we were lied to. Now we have division in our country, and the vaccine-hesitant are treated as evil and discriminated against. Mandating this experimental shot is tearing the very fiber of our great country apart. Our hospitals are being short-staffed as many doctors, nurses, and technicians are leaving or being fired. Out fire, police, and ambulance companies are being short staffed. Our education system is being understaffed. I am very disturbed by this. Why are we being forced to be part of an experiment against our will and better judgment? Though the FDA approved the COVID shots, the FDA and CDC guidelines say that all vaccines must go through a three-year safety efficacy study first.

Besides, viruses mutate, and now we see that the original COVID shot does not protect you against the mutations. Keeping our bodies healthy and strong and supporting our immune system is the best way to overcome invading viruses.

I hope my experience helps, educates, and encourages you. You do not have to be afraid of the COVID virus. It is never too late to learn as much as you can about supporting your immune system and keeping the supplements available that I shared in this post.

Keep praying for our country and many other countries who are mandating this injection.

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Jesus’s Final Message to The Seven Churches

Do we only have to believe to inherit eternal life? What about those people who believe but do not repent of their sinful life? Will they get to heaven? What does God say? You first must believe and accept forgiveness for your sins, but God’s instructions are clear; we need to seek Him and do what He commands with our whole heart (Ps. 119:10, 34, 69)? Many distractions keep us from seeking God and obeying Him with our whole hearts. So, we first must ask God to show us what they are and then repent. In my life, resentments kept me from obeying God with my whole heart. Other people may be distracted by worldly enticements that draw them away from complete devotion to God. Often we do not make it a priority to please God and bring Him glory. Jesus addresses all these and more in His final word to the seven churches.

Jesus’s final words to the seven churches give us a glimpse of what will be ours if we overcome our sin and Satan’s temptations. The reoccurring theme is to conquer. According to Webster’s dictionary, conquer means getting possession or control of by winning a war. What did the churches need to conquer? What do we need to conquer? For one thing, never forget we are in a perpetual war with the devil who wants to steal, kill, and destroy us. Too often, we forget or ignore this fact to our peril. The following scriptures should put the fear of God in our lives and encourage us to stay in the battle to conquer our spiritual enemy.

To the Church in Ephesus

Rev 2:4, 7, “But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. ⁷ He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who conquers I will grant to eat of the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God.”

To the Church in Smyrna

Rev 2:10-11, “Do not fear what you are about to suffer. Behold, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and for ten days, you will have tribulation. Be faithful unto death, and I will give you the crown of life. ¹¹ He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. The one who conquers will not be hurt by the second death.”

To the Church in Pergamum

Rev 2:17, “He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who conquers I will give some of the hidden manna, and I will give him a white stone, with a new name written on the stone that no one knows except the one who receives it.”

To the Church in Thyatira

Rev 2:26-28, “The one who conquers and who keeps my works until the end, to him I will give authority over the nations, and he will rule them with a rod of iron, as when earthen pots are broken in pieces, even as I myself have received authority from my Father. ²⁸ And I will give him the morning star.”

To the Church in Sardis

Rev 3:5, “The one who conquers will be clothed thus in white garments, and I will never blot his name out of the book of life. I will confess his name before my Father and before his angels.”

To the Church in Philadelphia

Rev 3:10-12, “Because you have kept my word about patient endurance, I will keep you from the hour of trial that is coming on the whole world, to try those who dwell on the earth. ¹¹ I am coming soon. Hold fast what you have, so that no one may seize your crown. ¹² The one who conquers, I will make him a pillar in the temple of my God. Never shall he go out of it, and I will write on him the name of my God, and the name of the city of my God, the new Jerusalem, which comes down from my God out of heaven, and my own new name.”

To the Church in Laodicea

Rev 3:15-16,21,” ‘I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! ¹⁶ So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. ²¹ The one who conquers, I will grant him to sit with me on my throne, as I also conquered and sat down with my Father on his throne.”

Conclusion

Are you aware of the spiritual warfare all around you and the need to conquer it? I wrote a series of posts on spiritual warfare that are found in SPIRITUAL WARFARE POSTS. I hope you are as encourage as I am to continue to fight because once we conquer one battle, we will have another. Jesus will help us. Heb 12:1-4 states, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. ³ Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. ⁴ In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.” NEVER GIVE UP; KEEP LOOKING UP.

Check out my latest book Breaking Mental Strongholds which you can order on Amazon. To learn more about it, read my post called Breaking Mental Strongholds Book. Also, check out Fighting Unseen Battles on Amazon. To learn more about this book, read: How to Fight Unseen Battles.

Contact me at hopeforcompletehealing@gmail.com, and ask for a PDF of Eight Prayers from the Bible. The prayers are for the Spirit of wisdom, renewal, spiritual strength, knowledge of His will, virtues of God, salvation for non-believers, 23rd Psalm, and victory. Please leave your name, so I know you are a person making the request.

WHAT IS YOUR FINAL MESSAGE?

What will your final message be to those around you? King Solomon’s last message was, “The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. ¹⁴ For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil” (Eccl. 13-14). He says that man’s whole existence is the revere God to the point of wanting to please Him by obeying His commands. My last message will be, “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil” (2Cor. 5:10). Yes, God knows all things, even things we think are secret. He knows our thoughts (Ps. 139:1-4), which is why we need to keep our minds on the things above and not on the things of the earth (Col. 3:1-2). How consciously aware are you that God sees all that you do? How will you live your life differently knowing this fact?

Why Should We Fear God?

When we fear God, we will have wisdom (Prov. 9:10). Wisdom helps us make good decisions and choose the right actions. The people I know who do not fear God make foolish decisions that have negative consequences in their lives. The worst consequence is being sent to hell because they refuse to repent of their sin and seek God’s forgiveness.

Pastor Lawry responds to people who say, “How can a loving God send people to hell” with “God doesn’t send people to hell; people choose to go.” Romans 1:19-21 states, “For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. ²⁰ For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. ²¹ For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened.” We all know people who foolishly live their lives as though they will not stand before God to give an account for the things they have done while in the body. Futile thinking is thinking thoughts that do not have meaning or value. We control what we think and what we believe. Every day, acknowledge God and do what pleases Him by obeying the commands found in the Bible, namely, to love God with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind. Then love others as yourself. Proverbs 15:3 states, “The eyes of the LORD are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good.” How often does the accounting you will make before God impact your actions and attitudes?

Our lives need to revolve around God because He created us to be in fellowship with Him. Since He sees everything, and everything we do is for Him, then nothing in life is pointless. An encouraging word, showing kindness or patience, a quiet prayer—they all have meaning to God. Therefore, we should live our lives by design and not haphazardly.

Where Do Good and Evil Come From?

Interestingly, there were two trees in the Garden of Eden that Adam and Eve could not eat from. One was called the knowledge of good and evil, and the other was called the tree of life. God threw Satan out of heaven onto earth because of his prideful rebellion, and he came to Eve and tempted her to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Why? You can read the story in Genesis 3. The knowledge of good and evil came as a result of sin. We have a choice to obey God and do good or disobey God and sin, which is evil.

Good and evil also come from the heart. Luke 6:45 states, “The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” You know the saying, hurting people hurt people, and loving people love people. The purpose of my website is to help you work through the evil done to you that has left your soul wounded and has stolen your peace, and crippled your ability to love. The wounds of our soul generate wrong thinking and unhealthy beliefs that direct us to do evil. In my book Hope for Complete Healing, I explain how to heal your heart, which can be found on my website.

A Consequence of Doing Evil

The worst consequence of evil is separation from God, who gives us life and every good thing. 1Peter 3:10-12 states, “For ‘Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; ¹¹ let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. ¹² For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil (Ps. 34:14-16).” When our hearts are full of hurt and resentment, we cannot seek peace because we don’t have peace in our hearts. 2Corinthians 7:1 states, “Since we have these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from every defilement of body and spirit, bringing holiness to completion in the fear of God.”

What will be your last word to those around you? I would like to know, please leave a comment, so other can know as well.

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Finding Unhealthy Beliefs Along the Paths of Life – Hiking Lessons Part Two

Where do you find unhealthy beliefs? Where do they hide? This website aims to help you discover unhealthy, false beliefs and replace them with the truth to experience a new reality. You will find unhealthy beliefs in many places, such as education, friends, family, bad experiences, what you watch on TV, the internet, or in the movies, and so on. The trick is to recognize unhealthy beliefs and replace them with the truth found in God’s Word. I discover most of my unhealthy beliefs when I become resentful. I discuss the power of resentment and how to resolve it at length in this post: How to Recognize and Eliminate Emotional Cancer.

Rattlesnakes Let You Know When You Are too Close

When I go on a hike, I pray for God’s protection that I would not encounter a rattlesnake, copperhead, or any other wild animal that could hurt me. Though I pray this prayer, and I believe God hears my prayer, but He may not answer my prayer as I expect. I wrote a series of posts on why God may not answer our prayers, found here.

I have hiked close to 300 miles of the MST and have only seen three rattlesnakes and no bears, though I see evidence of a bear being on the path. Psalm 91:14 states, “Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows my name.” On the last four-day hike, we came across two beautiful yellow-phase rattlesnakes on two different days. Yes, I was scared and backed away when I heard the rattles sound off, but I know they will not hurt me unless I mess with them.

Just as rattlesnakes let you know their presence, so resentment lets you know when you have an unhealthy belief. When you don’t have peace and joy, back up and look for bitterness. All bitterness is based on a false belief, which is a lie about yourself, others, or God. When you allow bitterness to bite you, it will cripple your ability to relate lovingly to people. Hebrews 12:15 states, “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.”

Often destructive attitudes that create bitterness come from unmet expectations and disappointment. For example, you expect a thank-you when you give someone something, but they don’t. You resent that and refuse to give that person any more of your time or resources. To learn more, read ALL THOUGHTS ARE WITHIN OUR CONTROL.

Difficulties Throughout Life Create Unhealthy Beliefs

How many times has everything gone perfectly in your life? Have you faced difficulties you did not anticipate? Challenges in life reveal your true character. Are you patient and kind in the midst of hardships? Or are you angry and rude when things don’t go as planned? We all want our life to be peaches and cream, but that is not reality; it is an unhealthy, false belief. The Bible tells us that we are to expect problems. John 16:33 states, “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world, you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

When we get on a trail, we have no idea what we will face. Sometimes it is very rocky and difficult.

Then there are easy trails that are wide and smooth. The last eight-plus miles of the MST to the Maryland border was the easiest of the 300 miles. We complete the eight miles in less than four hours.

Other times, you can’t see the trail and have to follow the blazes. Once I tripped over a log that was covered by ferns and fell face first. Thankfully, I did not hit my head on a rock. I thanked God for His protection.

Then there were two days of bushwhacking overgrown brambles and thorny vines. It took us six hours to hike six miles. We were bleeding from all the scratches, then I slipped on a sweating rock and fell into a patch of thorny brambles; ouch. The more I struggled to get out of the brambles, the more scratches I got. My strong husband was able to help me up. I saw it as an adventure, but my husband’s attitude was misery.

Often the trials of life will cause you pain and misery. How you view them will determine if you develop a false belief about your difficulties or allow God to perfect your character and root out the lies you believe. James 1:2-4 encourages us to “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. 4) And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” Ask God to show you the false beliefs or unhealthy attitudes you may have concerning a difficulty you went through so you don’t become entangled in resentment or bitterness.

Review of Lessons Learned In Last Blog

In the last blog, I learned that I needed a map to navigate life successfully, and our map is the Bible. When we refer to it often and follow the blazes left by others, we will stay on the path that leads to eternal life. Secondly, look for the surprises along the trail and enjoy them. Thirdly, pray for God’s strength when the tails of life become difficult. Whatever you do, don’t give up and persevere to the end.

Love From a Pure Heart

Five Steps to Heal Your Heart and Purify Your Soul

Pt. 1: Forsaken? Betrayed? How to Trust Again.